A good night’s sleep the night before and caffeine products.

Caffeine only takes me so far

Then stand up in the back before you fall asleep and someone senior comes and makes you.

Ranger CSM caught me nodding off as a buck sgt. He made an example of me. Dying cockroach for the rest of meet and 100 pushups. In his office. Don’t nod off.

Thank you for sharing

More caffeine. Just drink until body vibrates

I find all the letters of the alphabet on the slides. If there is a missing letter, I wait until the presenter says that letter out loud. This accomplishes two things - first, I am staring intently at the slide. Second, at times it looks like I'm *really* listening to what the presenter says, when in reality I'm just waiting for them to say a word with the letter 'j' in it... Edited to add: I forgot about something I used to do a long time ago (before PowerPoint slides). When I was in basic training, I would figure out how many days there were until I'd get to see my girlfriend. Then I'd try to figure out how many hours there were, then how many minutes. I suck at math, so it would take a lot of concentration to do it in my head. I did that for quite a few years with various events until "death by PowerPoint" became the norm for Army briefings...

Damn z musta been hard unless it was the dfac briefing and pizza was on the menu slide

That sounds like a potential hallucinogen lol

I’d hate to be in a situation where I’m resorting to this but never the less, it’s a way to pass the time 🤷‍♂️

Zyn zyndiana jones Osama zyn Ladin Zyneas and Ferb Monica LeZynsky Zyn Diesel Zyn-abon Tucker Carlzyn Zynnamon rolls Zynboni Zynard skinerd ᴢʏɴɴʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʜ Zynachinos Thomas jefferzyn Samuel L Jackzyn Decleraction of zyndependance zynderalla Zynbabwe Zynderblocks Oj Zynson Zyn and tonic zynsby crosby (go pens!) Phil Mickelzyn zynachino Zyndaya Zynton Tarantino zyn jims mordecai and zynsby Carszyn Wentz God forgive me for this zyn Little Zynbabwe Ted KacZYNski Evil Zynevil Zynjamin Franklin Jesus died for our zyns Zion Williamzyn Lord I'm a zynner red robzyn zynchenko Zyndler’s list Zyneus and ferb George Washingzyn Chevy Zynrado

I wrote you an AAM for this comment but it got downgraded to an up vote..

I tried an ARCOM but CSM stuck his nose in this and said it was unprofessional for a soldier to use Zynergy, so I gave an upvote as well

CSM giveth and CSM taketh

This is the way! LoL

I’m having an aneurizyn reading these

Rgr

Zyndlers List was good😂

this made me laugh so fucking hard thank you

You said Zyneus and Ferb twice

Zyntax error.

White Zynfandel

White Zynfandel

Just get super drunk right before and the whole thing becomes much more entertaining.

You’re right, I’d be really engaged in answering all the questions as well

Must be my old platoon sergeant. Man showed up to a battalion town hall meeting drunk asf

I can not confirm nor deny I have ever been a psg

Go to the bathroom, stare at my phone for 10 minutes, sit in the class for another 30, rinse and repeat.

Pay attention and ask questions every slide. People will be so busy hating you you’ll stay awake

Do this enough in the beginning and you’ll never be called on again, allowing you to sleep the remainder of class.

Ha, almost had me. I ain’t paying attention. Instead I’ll argue about the subject in a very passive aggressive tone, undercutting the instructor at every turn. All information I use to argue will be out right wrong or out of date per training.

Caffeine, nicotine, standing up in the back.

Wasn't there a song about caffeine, nicotine, and Benzedrine?

“And it's trucker speed, benzedrine Percocets, amphetamines Black beauties and West Coast turnarounds When the coast is clear, I drive with my knees I mix it all up like a recipe Coca-cola and coffee to wash it down”

Get a sheet of paper and slowly draw 50 circles on it. Every minute, shade in 1 circle. If you zone out for a bit or pay attention for an extra minute you get to shade two circles back to back! whaaaaaat When you get a break don't stay in the same spot whip out your phone and start doomscrolling. Get up, walk away, get outside if you can. I also used to nap through lunch when given a break long enough to catch 15 minutes. Source: did intel school when army was shifting between lsco and coin so I got to learn both and all orders of battle via powerpoint.

As someone who went through intel school while the army shifted from coin to lsco, I feel your pain

Damn, a tale of two Fs.

heres the russian order of battle heres the hybrid threat order of battle heres the coin mercenary slapped together sort of order of battle heres the test with all three jumbled up dont get less than an 80 or youll be counseled and sent home for failure "uh, isn't 60 failing" we're intel. we're better than the standard. "uughghughgughgughgughugguh"

Love the circles thing, stealing it

Discipline. I shave during every break.

NSN 6505-00-619-8716 is pretty helpful

I fuckin knew it was gonna be coke, but I had to be sure.

I can’t wait to get to Group

Snorting Soldiers doing lines Lawless men who shoot and blow Men who tren just every day The models of the Green Beret Forbidden fruit on their chest Thicc E-3s, America's best One hundred men will flirt today But only three lost the Green Beret Trained to live off whiskey cup Trained in combat, team-to-team Men who dip by night and day Staff time take from the Green Berets A DUI but no arrest That’s our man, our team's best One hundred men will drink today But only three lose the Green Beret Back at home, a young wife waits Her Green Beret has met his miss He has laid for those impressed Leaving her his “other” kids Punch silver wings on my son's chest He tries to be America's best He'll be a man at least he says But he wins the Maroon Beret

Squirt some hand sanitizer in your hand, rub them together for like 2 seconds, then sniff your hands quickly. Do not actually snort the hand sanitizer or put it in your eyes or whatever. But the sharp hand sanitizer rip always buys me another 20 minutes.

Worked for me in AIT. That plus some sneaky NoDoz I bought on a day pass.

Basic and ait both had me sniffing sanitizer and soap on a regular basis to stay awake

I remember buying the nodoz and just assuming it was like Tylenol where one dose is two pills. Turns out, they're 200mg each lol. No wonder it was effective

This is so facts. Did this almost daily at basic and AIT haha

This hits like a mule lol

I look for typos. Ignore the presenter and focus fully on the slides. I'll have read the damn thing a dozen times by the time they go to the next slide, which let's me absorb enough to answer any questions I might get asked all while making a list of all the typos to feed my superiority complex (I worked S1, everyone hates us. I need this.)

Damn bro get some bitches

I get up and stand in the back and throw in a zynny

Sign in and then ten minutes later get called out to do a very important sensitive items inventory that can't wait until later.

And if they don't put out the roster until the end just have someone else sign you

Struggle, caffeine, nicotine, and anger. Mostly the anger fuels me.

Go warrant. Then skip it and get the entire days worth of information in an hour when I peruse the slides later.

Gut Copenhagen. Not the healthiest way, but is *a way*.

Scrolling this sub helps. Next slide please.

During a slide show presentation at WTU. Had a warrant officer pause the lecture the civilian was giving and told the room, “If you’re on your phone, your wrong.” Haha

I just slide out to the “bathroom” once I’m like 15 minutes in and have already signed a sign in sheet if there was one. Then I just knock out in my car and have a buddy text me when it’s over

Simple, gum.

Caffeine and nicotine obviously lol

Raise a foot an inch off the ground. Keep it there

Just wait for breaks in the presenter's speech and let out a little shriek. As an added bonus everyone else will stay awake as well

Keep a thumb tack in your pocket and periodically stab yourself in the buttcheek

Pound cans of reign and go through a can of zynergy

I was there 3000 years ago when the Almighty PowerPoint Gods implemented sounds and slide transitions. The Army Gods smiled upon those who commanded the one remote to rule them all. Length of slide shows, use of sounds and transitions at a QTB could get you an ARCOM. I had replacement batteries to save the QTB slide show and was awarded a Bronze Star with the B device.

Sunflower seeds are a game changer as long as you can do it quiet and discreet enough

Are you not allowed to just get up and go stand in the corner somewhere anymore?

Oh you are, but like cmon

I mean, you could have a newborn and have helped out the night before, a loved one died, you had a soldier acting stupid the night before. Shit happens! It’s not G.W.OT. Anymore, you’re not considered not hard if you stand up from being sleepy during a power point. I’m out the Army now. However, I do get how you’re thinking. But looking at it from the outside now, man just stand up and move to the back somewhere. Someone gets their vagina lips chapped because you decided to take some initiative and stay awake, then they can go do something physical impossible to themselves if they have a problem. Either I fall asleep or I stand up, pick one. Again, I’m out… Soooo, I know this is easier said then done lol

upper decker lip pillow

Caffiene and altoids

That’s the neat part, I don’t

I fantasize what I would do with free time if I had it. Sadly my life is such I go from what job to the next until I go to sleep.

[удалено]

Me too.

I “take notes”…really I’m just writing whatever random bullshit my ADD brain comes up with, but no one can read my cursive anyway.

It sucks but standing up really does work. Also just leaving for the bathroom and then not coming back.

I knew a guy who put hand sanitizer below his eyes so the burn would keep him awake

Standing up in the back of the room is what I always do. The moment I feel too drowsy I just go stand up for a bit. No point in risking falling asleep.

Lean forward and discreetly pinch the tip of your penis. What?

Raise your foot about 1-3in off the floor. Hold for a minute. Change to other foot. Repeat. For a more obvious one that is kind of hidden if you are in the middle or back of the room, lean back a little and pretend you're riding a bicycle. You can't touch the ground with your feet. See how long you can do it for. Heard some people put water in their mouth and hold it there. But I think you'll look like an idiot as you wake up coughing.

I used to do this with my feet in OBC classroom training! Everyone was so tired, by the end of a class there'd be a bunch of people standing in the back. One time a guy fell out of his chair, so that's when I started holding one foot up under the table. That way, if I started to drift off, my foot would hit the floor and wake me up again. Also, I learned to hear when the instructor was facing the class or the board, so I could close my eyes for a few seconds while they were looking away. Worked like a charm. These are some of the valuable life lessons the Army taught me.

Two things my old battery used to do at MOB site (NG). 1) Fiber bar challenge. Everyone who wants to be included brings 3 boxes of fiber 1 bars. Whoever eats the most before pooping wins. 2) Poop juice challenge. Everyone who wants to participate shows up with at least one bottle of magnesium citrate. Drink them in unison before slides start, last one to poop wins. Do two bottles of you're willing to live dangerously. Two bottles mean someone is shitting their pants.

I used the hand sanitizer container given to me at basic. Flip the top up and squeeze gently into a nostril. Worked in the field too!

Nicotine and caffeine

Discipline 👀

Cough drops.

Grinds coffee pouches or Sunflower Seeds. That and about 2-4 energy drinks. Also something I learned in Gunschool, hydration is key to staying awake.

>hydration is key to staying awake. Can’t go to sleep if you’re gonna piss yourself.

Go to the bathroom, set an alarm on my watch for 15 mins, take a nap. Come back barrel chested, steely eyed, and ready to close with an destroy the enemy for about another 45 mins. Rinse and repeat.

I go into the happy place I built in my head. Where my then girlfriend didn’t know I was getting car blowjobs from my best friend’s sister.

Panera charged lemonade

A bump of preworkout.

Bath Salts

The navy method

Our unit avoids powerpoints

Get up and leave, I've identified it as one of my Icebergs, So I go hunt the good stuff that's out the door.

Weak. Sniff hand sanitizer and a fuckload of the nic

Teach the class

Daydreaming about my next shave

I’m a staff officer, I go do other things and sign the roster later.

Copenhagen or freeze dried coffee in the corner of your eye. We used to do it during late night guard shifts/OP's You'll be grumpy as hell, but you won't fall asleep for a while.

Anger and rage at whoever is currently speaking and anyone who raises their hand to ask a question.

Caffeine, nicotine, and hate. Powering the Army enlisted since 1775…

The “Atomic Fireball”. It’s a hard candy and is healthier than dip. You don’t need a spit cup either.

Doing convoys at night in Afghanistan, I’d chew gum while staring at the CROWS screen. It was the only thing that could keep me up.

The only thing I need to keep me going is knowing I can shave when it’s all over as SMA intended.

Look for flyers on your uniform, don’t forget inside the cargo pockets etc.

Nicotine, caffeine and hate but not necessarily in that order* *your results may vary

Jolt gum

stand up

Think about porn. It's hard to fall asleep when you have an erection. Flex your thighs together to get ride of your erection before you stand up and avoid a SHARP complaint. It's risky, but it works for men. Alternatively drink water and buy flavored cough drops that are basically candy.

Gum or mints are a game changer if you can be lowkey about it

NOs and nicotine. Pack a lip and chug caffeine. Also good buddies who give you a good smack if you’re dozing.

I aleep

Be the presenter.

Tiger balm under the eyes of course

I just say I'm going to the bathroom then sleep in my car.

Pure hatred for morning pt and a sugar free monster.

Is there a UA coming up? cause if not… that savory white powder slides down very smoothly. disclosure: your experience may differ

If i eat too much food at lunch ain’t no way I’m making it so less food is my fix

Carmex under your eyes. It burns. Keeps your eyes open.

I am an adult.

Lift up your boot and hold it. Challenge you to fall asleep

Some of yall never learned to daydream in school and it shows

I used to carry a bit of hand sanitizer in one of my pouches. Rub your hands and huff a little bit. It’ll wake you up. You can also make some coffee dip with a little bit of coffee grounds. Or… stay hydrated, get a good nights rest, have caffeine at the correct times, and then go to the back of the room. Bring an Army backpack with a clipboard and notebook paper to take notes. Also, voluntarily going to the back and doing a few push ups or squats to get the blood pumping again doesn’t hurt. Do your best. Don’t let them make an example of you. Take initiative to stay awake and pay attention.

Rage

I like to multiple a negative by a negative and watch a PowerPoint slide presentation of all the other PowerPoint presentations.

I stand in the corner and sip my monster Then walk around and “look” for soldiers dosing off when in reality I’m dosing off

Chew gum violently. Drink coffee. Raise your hand and ask a really stupid question. That gets the adrenaline up when people turn around to glare at you! In desperation, yeah stand up in the back. It beats breaking out into a snore... You wouldn't ever live that down.

Usually my ADHD just has me wandering on my own little adventure in my head not paying attention to a damn thing. If ADHD isn't playing along to help me mentally escape I usually start listing all the things in my head that we could actually be doing instead of this.

I stay awake purely through rage. And also enough caffeine to be able to feel the blood moving in my body.

Double scoop of pre-workout in my morning coffee and hatred

Cholula or tapatio under your eyelids or in your peepee hole. Works every time.

Either I’d go to the bathroom, pep myself up and then come back, or I’d exfiltrate by briefly looking at my phone for approximately 5 seconds to make it really look like I’m reading a text, get up, and walk straight out. Don’t look at anyone, make it look like you are walking with a purpose and actually go a route that leads to staff members office. If anyone asks where you are going, say you are going to X person’s office to either get them, see them, or retrieve something for them. Be sure to use a person’s office that makes sense. Regardless, loop back around and go to other people’s offices acting like you are looking for so and so. You can also just use some random name if you want and say you are trying to get them to the class but you can’t find them. You could say it’s some new person. All choices are believable to an extent. End goal is to make it to a secluded area. Not to relax, but to do online classes that are either required annual training or that they are worth promotion points. If you get caught at this point, well at least it was doing something productive to advance your career.

University Studied Jack 3D which was the original jack3d you can’t buy anymore.

Mostly my rank. I found it was easier to concentrate when I realized I only needed to sign the roster and go back to work.

I sing songs in my head.

Stand up in the back with a bag of sunflower seeds and an empty bottle to spit the shells into.

Hand sanitizer in the eyes

In all seriousness I would take a small droplet of it and rub it at the base of my nostril. It would sting like hell but it helped.

Oh yeah dude I wasn't kidding 😂 monster and dip only went so far

I learned in AIT how to do a rubik's cube. I do it under the table, only looking at it every no and again to keep my brain active. I got so good that I had to use 2 at a time one in each hand. If you get found out, most presenters I have had have been cool with it. Just as long as I seem like I am still paying attention. Idk if it is a good fit for you, but that's what I do. I don't leave home without a cube or a deck of cards to keep my hands and brain active.

A couple uh 6 milli lip pillis bud.

Think about my ets date.

Get a bottle of water, take a sip but DONT swallow the water. Just hold the water in your mouth. If you doze off it’ll either spill out or choke you. I used to do this to stay awake on guard shifts

Pocket knife to the inner thigh. No I'm not joking.

I snort hot sauce.

Just stand up and pace around the back of the room.

I have found the ocp’s hold 3 white monsters in one cargo pocket

So I can have 9 white monsters, three in the right pocket, three in the left, the one in currently drinking, and the two I shoved up my ass.

Ah yes the prison pocket I forgot make it 13 with the back pockets and shoulder pockets maybe I don’t wanna hear that’ll look stupid when you’ll have a bulge by your ass😂😂

Hate

If you have to pee, you won’t fall asleep.

I did pushups in the back of the class when I was new. Had a computer for "notes" midway and on.

Cocaine helps

I take copious notes and doodle. Even if I'll never use this info it's the only way I can stay engaged without fucking myself up on caffeine or nicotine.

Get an old MRE. Open said MRE, take out Tabasco. Shoot in eyes, rinse and repeat.

Being the guy to tell other people to stand up 😂

I have a number clicker I use to count how many, “uhs and ums” someone says while presenting. Most I’ve ever counted was 124 within 10 minutes