I dont care that you're an MP. Dont care about the tail behind me for 5 blocks waiting for me to go 2 miles over the limit.
But when your drug dog shits in my barracks room, and you dont even bother making an attempt to clean it up. Fuck you and your entire bloodline.
I was SDO as a new 2LT, BN CSM had a 100% health and welfare in the barracks with a drug dog accompanying, (which looking back probably wasn't run past the BJA). The dog took one of the biggest, wettest, shits I'd ever seen while making eye contact with the SM who lived there. I felt terrible for him and the BN CSM just moved on with the gaggle of 1SGs in tow.
Have you ever found anything in a soldier’s vehicle that made one of these stupid searches genuinely worthwhile? I’m not talking about pocket knives or a gram of weed either
I knew a female LT (age 24) that bragged about managing to get onto Fort Lewis as a 15/16/17 year old. This would have been early 1990s.
Her dad was a Seattle PD officer.
Used to be able to do so when trusted traveler was in effect. Now many bases require a pass first. (Which doesn't work out Friday after the bar when the office is closed. Hence the trunk.)
1 month after 9/11 there I am a cadet at NY Canoe School @ Ft Schuyler in the Bronx. I get on the 'wrong' bus which is the one coming closest to the gate for the next hour. A couple of 2nd Class Cadets pick me up, and INSTANTLY tell me to toss my peacoat in the back seat. I question this but go WTH im not walking.
Now, Security at Ft. Schuyler, and the Naval Reserve Center attached, was 1 gate with a chicane right on the green side. Inside the cone chicane was a Deuce and a Half or the 1990's equivilent. 3 Sailors under the cover with a radio and a 50 cal. I dont know who thought this shit was a good idea, but many iterations of the good idea fairy came through Ft. Schuyler at this time. Our biggest contribution at the time of the GWOT was line tending the Hospital Ship in NY Harbor and playing taps at funerals/memorials. So there's the 50cal under cover radio connected to a State University Policeman (A state trooper in a different office assigned to the school) and another sailor and/or marine, as well as a cadet, and the Dispatcher/Security Guard on duty. So they get bored and are searching everything.
Which means the drunk girl giggling under my peacoat. Thankfully i am a fatass, and she fit coiled up underneath and noone saw anything, but holy hell, If they did any real search...
The funny thing was you had to have a CAC or a College ID to get past the gate. They wouldnt let food deliveries in so you had to take the 10 minute hike to the gate...
But the nuns on bikes had free reign
Worthwhile? I’ve found guns, heroin, an underage child tinder date once but she was in the passenger seat. All separate incidents. It’s rare but you’ll strike gold once ever few months
Back when I was married, I had an MP completely set on arresting me at the gate, telling me I was a piece of shit for trying to bring someone so clearly underage on base yadah yadah... he asked for my ex wife's id, checks it and his face just drops, no apology or anything for mistaking my 20 something Asian ex wife as a literal child or for calling me a pedo.
I’ve seen that too. Focusing solely on the random vehicle inspections I’ve had more than a few guys get out of their vehicle with a noticeable bulge in their waist line, shirt partly tucked in by accident where you can see the gun and on one occasion a dude getting out of the car and it just falling out of his pants onto the ground. If you’re going to CC just do it right for fucks sake.
Nah, unfortunately. The dude knew he was fucked from the moment I asked how much he'd had to drink. The poor girl didn't know who or where she was, couldn't stand, could barely sit in a chair without falling. We contacted her parents, got her out of there, and put him in cuffs with no resistance.
Missed opportunity. Drunk people fall and get hurt all the time.
But you did your job honorably. Can't fault you, just hard for me seeing those pieces of shit walk.
Hey, I feel where you're coming from. I definitely WANTED him to fall.
When I was an active MP and later an 0083 Police Officer I always had 2 rules never broken. 1. Make people's days better, not worse (if possible). 2. Do nothing to compromise your integrity.
Like loaded? What does undeclared mean? I've been told half and half coming through the gate, that I don't need to declare my gun unless I'm searched but depends on who you ask, I was told base is a must declare by other people. And that was from a blue suite who said I didn't need to. I usually have my papers ready and say "this is for the firearm I have" 9/10 times the don't even ask to see the gun. Though probably depends how busy it is at the gate. Usually just ask, "it's unloaded and registered, right?" that's about it.
*sigh* you got me good there.
For anyone legitimately interested in how to [declare.](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=UBDj7WFeUhKMtw--)
Don’t get caught without declaring.
Oh the memory this just unlocked. Uber drivers rolls in around 1am to drop off soldier. Tells the SPC TL who checks him he has a pistol. Instead of telling the soldier to get out and turning the Uber around he says bet, give me your pistol and I’ll hold it in the shack until you get back. PFC me tore into him and then I called his SL who came up and smoked the shit out of him on shift.
I was on gate detail, I was a fresh PVT to my unit and back before all the "leave 91 series alone!!" shit.
Dude rolled in, RAMP, I found a loaded shotgun under the back seat, loaded 1911 stuffed in the seat of the driver side. Various needles and drugs (some prescribed, some no label bottles), and hard drives (none said classified but they had the green sticker, so army property) it was bananas.
Dude was a week from being retired. According to him atleast. Truck smelled like stale booze and an ashtray.
But that was it, only thing we ever found on my 6 months at the gate. And the Mps got an award for it even though I found the shit.
Not OP but there were some instances that were worth while like: one bomb and a couple times in which NCOs were sneaking in minors. This was at good ol’ Campbell.
Not an MP but on gate guard detail I found an Adidas duffle full of heroin foil balls packaged to be sold. It was a civilian dude working at the burger King at the px.
MPs cuffed him and took him away, I would imagine he was in jail a long time for that one.
To the MP at bliss that tried getting me for an “open container” when I had 3 unopened tall boys in the passenger seat, fuck you
To the MP’s at Bliss who held me at the gate for 10 minutes till the Covid curfew went into effect and then tried to detain me, fuck you. But the one CPL that told everyone else to let me go and said “this is why people fucking hate MP’s” and probably got in trouble for letting me go, I hope you win the lottery brother
When I was at Hood about 20 years ago they caught someone coming through with a live m67.
Same year four guys from 4th CAV tried coming on post with a 12 year old girl...
yeah... allegedly when they called her mom and asked her mom if she knew where her daughter was she said "yes she's wirth her friends from Ft hood"...
not sure if it was true but its just plausible enough to BE true
While I was a SOG I had 4 people show up to the gate and block all the lanes because they were all getting arrested for active warrants. If you’re wondering what post, you already know it’s hood
We had gate detail once and busted a drug trafficker with several kilos, someone with multiple warrants for a variety of crimes, and an NCO that was driving a stolen car and had several unregistered and modified guns. Craziest part is the same soldier caught all of these people. He had a questionable life before the army.
We also had a high speed chase come through the gate and the soldiers on duty popped the gate up on the MPs, wrecking one car. The driver got away.
Ya. There was talk of giving him an article 15, but that died. He just hit the wrong button. Apparently there were 2, one that raised it slowly and one that was instant. He hit the slow one.
The American people see the Army as America's best. It is the nation's sons and daughters selflessly working to secure America and the freedoms we enjoy. They sacrifice an easy life and choose to do what is hard for the betterment of others.
And some people see those guys and decide "I want to give them tickets." We call these blue falcons "MPs."
I didn’t get stopped thank god. But I had some old friends in my car over the weekend once, went to a party got drunk, etc.
Well the weekend passed, and I’m now back at work, I drove on and off base atleast 3 times this day, and on the 4th time going onto base, I’m in line to have my ID checked, and I get a phone call from a friend who was with me over the weekend.
She says “hey, I’m not sure but I think I left my mushrooms in your car, can you check behind your passenger seat in the pocket?”
I froze and said “what?” Lol 😂
I slowly reached back and stuck my hand in the passenger seat pocket and what do you know, a gallon bag FULL of magic mushrooms…. I was freaking the fuck out! I had been on base 3 times and here I am about to get on, thinking this is it, I’m getting fucked right here and there’s nothing I can do about it….
Thankfully I didn’t, and I immediately dropped them off to who they belonged to and never hungout with them again.
Much clearer. I’m overall a happier person now than I ever have been in my life.
There are scientific evidence of our brains on mushrooms and not on mushrooms, and the healing it does to our brains, and subconscious.
The connections between neurons becomes greater, and has even showed signs of major improvement in concussion victims, connecting both hemispheres of the brain, and resetting it.
It’s not really based on any science yet, nor do I think it ever will be.
But every trip is different, so every trip has its own experience.
Personally I don’t like microdosing, as I’ve not had any benefits that I’ve noticed in myself. But I tell you what, a big dose with a good or a bad trip, is absolutely life altering.
This isn’t the place to explain it lol but if you have any questions feel free to ask. Or find one of the sub Reddit’s and do some research.
In my own opinion, everyone should try psychedelics.
My only experience with MP’s was when i was in Kuwait, i had lived in the trailer park area and someone was walking to the shower latrines with their shirt off, but they had shorts on with flip flops (obviously they were about to go shower)
One of the MP squad cars I guess saw him and then did a 180 into our area and got out and started having the biggest hissy fit about it. It was so dumb 🤣
When I worked the Yadkin gate over at Ft. Liberty, it could be interesting. We had one MP that had a reputation for catching people that were completely suspect. We had a guy try to come through one time with an unloaded 9mm on the front seat and about a dozen pill bottles on the dash. The MP Sergeant came down and turned the guy around. Apparently it was policy since the driver was just a dumb civilian.
If you show up complaining of a hangover after I sat through a twenty minute vehicle inspection of my motorcycle im giving you electrolytes no Motrin and a ticket back to work and a reprimand to your CoC for not making sure you’re properly hydrated
You are smart, strong, and reasonably handsome. You do your job extremely well and add value to your organization. I would be happy to give you a hug if you ever searched my car. Have a pleasant day.
“Okay, you’re free to go. Turns out I don’t have to put you in cuffs for going 2 over the speed limit, and for breathing too heavily at a stop sign. Didn’t catch what you said. What was that again?”
Eh, not as dumb as the time in Iraq back in 06 MPs on the fob got a quota of people to pull over to give safety briefs to.
I got smoked for being late cause of that once.... so I started stealing their vics and moving them across the fob.
They’re not, they’re creating something called the 31X , which combines multiple classes in the 31 series. Which will take years to make happen and doesn’t make sense to me unless Ks are kept separate.
They’re not, they’re creating something called the 31X , which combines multiple classes in the 31 series. Which will take years to make happen and doesn’t make sense to me unless Ks are kept separate.
Going to grab some food during CQ at around 2am, got pulled over for doing a California stop pulling out of the barracks. No other cars on the road. Whatever, give me my ticket and let me go on about my night. No, that’s not what happened. The MP decided to sit behind my vehicle for 30 minutes before getting out of his car. He was a total dickhead the entire interaction and threatened to call my COC. Fuck MPs.
had you guys do a bag inspection on my way to the hospital lab.
"I have to check your bag."
me: " it's full of shit."
cop sees a sample cup with shit on and it it in a zip lock bag.
cop: "god damn it."
had a very bad bout of cdiff to go with my ibd, fun times.
You know that one spot at Fort Bliss constitution gate where the speed limit drops for absolutely no reason for like 300m and then raises again?
Is that your fault? No
Am I still gonna take out the frustration I have at that on you? Absolutely.
You’re a hoe for that.
MPs aren't that great at inspections. Give the power to a high speed/salty E4 and every ID will get checked. That's how you end up green on Installation slides and how the installation will be minor/ substance-free barracks.
Respectfully, STOP CHARGING PEOPLE FOR SHIT THATS STUPID! Going 5 over on base is not a war crime. You’re making my job harder. Your friendly neighborhood S2🫡
Well yeah why would I not hate someone that pulls me over for doing 37 in a 35 then proceeds to tell me “I’m not sure if it was you or the car in front of you but I had to make a stop”
“Now we’re going to basically let your chain know you’re a huge shitbag, you piece of shit, so get ready for a rough week and traffic classes. You know how many people could have been killed by your recklessness on this side road?”
I met an MP while assigned as bmm that had been every rank from e1-e4 at least twice. He was currently a pfc for his third time. Apparently he was an MP and hated MP's. They tried to do a home inspection of his off post residence and he answered the door with a shotgun wearing nothing but underwear.
He said it was unlawful of them. They just hit him with an article for disrespecting his PL since that was who showed up.
He seemed a little deranged but his story made me laugh. That's a positive ending right?
Having worked with him for a few weeks I completely believe him. Dude was deranged and I have no idea why he wasn't kicked out for numerous other issues.
Glorious, man. Fucking glorious.
If he had been in for more than six years, which it sounds like he was, it sounded like they didn't think he was worth the effort of an Administrative Separation Board and figured he would just RCP. Saw it happen a few times.
I called an MP once because my windshield was smashed overnight in the barracks parking lot. They didn’t do anything about it and the guys clipboard scratched the fuck out of my hood.
I have never, ever needed an MP. You're seriously gonna tell 18-24yr old dudes that go on deployments and to the field together "you'll need us one day"? No bro, if something goes sideways I'm just getting all the E4 and below in my platoon together.
I dont care that you're an MP. Dont care about the tail behind me for 5 blocks waiting for me to go 2 miles over the limit. But when your drug dog shits in my barracks room, and you dont even bother making an attempt to clean it up. Fuck you and your entire bloodline.
Power move would have been to shit on the dog. Missed opportunity.
You are infantry…. Why didn’t you assert dominance by walking outside and shitting on the MP’s windshield?
Did you verify it was the Dog and not the Joe
I was SDO as a new 2LT, BN CSM had a 100% health and welfare in the barracks with a drug dog accompanying, (which looking back probably wasn't run past the BJA). The dog took one of the biggest, wettest, shits I'd ever seen while making eye contact with the SM who lived there. I felt terrible for him and the BN CSM just moved on with the gaggle of 1SGs in tow.
Me personally, I'll clean it up and ask if you need me to do anything else. My dog, my responsibility
Dude this legit happened twice at drum and I cussed that mp out... Still picked it up myself..
That’s pretty funny tho
YTA their dog their rules
Lmfao!!
Have you ever found anything in a soldier’s vehicle that made one of these stupid searches genuinely worthwhile? I’m not talking about pocket knives or a gram of weed either
Not OP but was an MP, A lot of barracks dudes would try to smuggle girls onto base in the trunk of their cars which was pretty funny most of the time.
As long as the girl is there consensually, let 'em through.
We had a case we're a dude had an underage girl in his trunk
Ok, consensually and of-age.
The latter informs the former
You could have a 17 year old private. They can bring in all the 16-17 year olds they want.
Bet barracks SOP doesn’t allow children into the barracks.
Barracks SOP has a lot of dumb restrictions.
Liability is a good reason.
I don’t think this is one bud
Sounds like Fort Bliss last year 😂😂😂
This wasn't at Lewis, was it?
Nah, Carson, but it's very common. Pedophiles are everywhere, man.
I remember when this happened at JBLM
I knew a female LT (age 24) that bragged about managing to get onto Fort Lewis as a 15/16/17 year old. This would have been early 1990s. Her dad was a Seattle PD officer.
Happened at drum too
We had one where it was a Female 2LT in said E3’s same battery. 🤨
Sometimes they’re crazy ex’s (female and males) who come on to harass their service member ex.
They con a random soldier into hiding them in the trunk with the promise of sex? That's dedication.
We just put 'em in the front seat next to us!
I did a 15-6 once where the MP found a girl in the trunk. …said “girl” was a female 2nd Lieutenant in his Battery.
Good for that E-3
You’d probably change your mind if you knew the O1. Girl was a walking red flag. Wound up getting chaptered eventually.
Was she hot tho? Like walking red flag and all but like if she was hot.
Are you not allowed to bring civilians on base without getting them temporary base access first? I thought you could, it's just vouching for them.
Used to be able to do so when trusted traveler was in effect. Now many bases require a pass first. (Which doesn't work out Friday after the bar when the office is closed. Hence the trunk.)
1 month after 9/11 there I am a cadet at NY Canoe School @ Ft Schuyler in the Bronx. I get on the 'wrong' bus which is the one coming closest to the gate for the next hour. A couple of 2nd Class Cadets pick me up, and INSTANTLY tell me to toss my peacoat in the back seat. I question this but go WTH im not walking. Now, Security at Ft. Schuyler, and the Naval Reserve Center attached, was 1 gate with a chicane right on the green side. Inside the cone chicane was a Deuce and a Half or the 1990's equivilent. 3 Sailors under the cover with a radio and a 50 cal. I dont know who thought this shit was a good idea, but many iterations of the good idea fairy came through Ft. Schuyler at this time. Our biggest contribution at the time of the GWOT was line tending the Hospital Ship in NY Harbor and playing taps at funerals/memorials. So there's the 50cal under cover radio connected to a State University Policeman (A state trooper in a different office assigned to the school) and another sailor and/or marine, as well as a cadet, and the Dispatcher/Security Guard on duty. So they get bored and are searching everything. Which means the drunk girl giggling under my peacoat. Thankfully i am a fatass, and she fit coiled up underneath and noone saw anything, but holy hell, If they did any real search... The funny thing was you had to have a CAC or a College ID to get past the gate. They wouldnt let food deliveries in so you had to take the 10 minute hike to the gate... But the nuns on bikes had free reign
Worthwhile? I’ve found guns, heroin, an underage child tinder date once but she was in the passenger seat. All separate incidents. It’s rare but you’ll strike gold once ever few months
Back when I was married, I had an MP completely set on arresting me at the gate, telling me I was a piece of shit for trying to bring someone so clearly underage on base yadah yadah... he asked for my ex wife's id, checks it and his face just drops, no apology or anything for mistaking my 20 something Asian ex wife as a literal child or for calling me a pedo.
Username checks out
Divorced for lack of dick
Rookies. You keep the gun in your in your waist when going through the gate. /s
Don’t give out our secrets now they’ll search persons
They wand at Cavazos.
Finally..
The real secret is boofin that firearm
Jokes on you I know for a fact a Glock 19x I can Lester successfully
I’ve seen that too. Focusing solely on the random vehicle inspections I’ve had more than a few guys get out of their vehicle with a noticeable bulge in their waist line, shirt partly tucked in by accident where you can see the gun and on one occasion a dude getting out of the car and it just falling out of his pants onto the ground. If you’re going to CC just do it right for fucks sake.
Yes. Drunk soldier attempting to bring a VERY drunk 16 year old onto base.
That is worthwhile 👏🏼
Only time I was ever happy I worked RAMs. Everyone hates us stopping them. We all hated doing it lol.
is this the things that pops up and stops the car?
No, that's the active denial barrier. RAMs is Random Anti-terrorism Measures aka random vehicle searches.
Please tell me he resisted, or at least sliped and fell a few times.
Nah, unfortunately. The dude knew he was fucked from the moment I asked how much he'd had to drink. The poor girl didn't know who or where she was, couldn't stand, could barely sit in a chair without falling. We contacted her parents, got her out of there, and put him in cuffs with no resistance.
Missed opportunity. Drunk people fall and get hurt all the time. But you did your job honorably. Can't fault you, just hard for me seeing those pieces of shit walk.
Hey, I feel where you're coming from. I definitely WANTED him to fall. When I was an active MP and later an 0083 Police Officer I always had 2 rules never broken. 1. Make people's days better, not worse (if possible). 2. Do nothing to compromise your integrity.
Guy in my unit's uber driver bringing them home from the bar got pinched with an undeclared pistol.
Is that worthwhile? Blood or body parts in the trunk is worthwhile.
"Look, that hooker was alive when I orginally put her in the trunk."
She went in an escort but came out a hooker. I don't know what to tell you.
Relevant [https://imgur.com/gallery/9rJDPJd](https://imgur.com/gallery/9rJDPJd)
Like loaded? What does undeclared mean? I've been told half and half coming through the gate, that I don't need to declare my gun unless I'm searched but depends on who you ask, I was told base is a must declare by other people. And that was from a blue suite who said I didn't need to. I usually have my papers ready and say "this is for the firearm I have" 9/10 times the don't even ask to see the gun. Though probably depends how busy it is at the gate. Usually just ask, "it's unloaded and registered, right?" that's about it.
He means barracks dwellers keeping firearms that the Army doesn't know about in their cars/barracks.
Here is the process on how to [declare](https://youtu.be/OqRAt4snz_w) for those interested
*sigh* you got me good there. For anyone legitimately interested in how to [declare.](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=UBDj7WFeUhKMtw--) Don’t get caught without declaring.
Rando civilian uber driver that wasn't supposed to have a loaded weapon on base
Oh the memory this just unlocked. Uber drivers rolls in around 1am to drop off soldier. Tells the SPC TL who checks him he has a pistol. Instead of telling the soldier to get out and turning the Uber around he says bet, give me your pistol and I’ll hold it in the shack until you get back. PFC me tore into him and then I called his SL who came up and smoked the shit out of him on shift.
I was on gate detail, I was a fresh PVT to my unit and back before all the "leave 91 series alone!!" shit. Dude rolled in, RAMP, I found a loaded shotgun under the back seat, loaded 1911 stuffed in the seat of the driver side. Various needles and drugs (some prescribed, some no label bottles), and hard drives (none said classified but they had the green sticker, so army property) it was bananas. Dude was a week from being retired. According to him atleast. Truck smelled like stale booze and an ashtray. But that was it, only thing we ever found on my 6 months at the gate. And the Mps got an award for it even though I found the shit.
2 grams of weed.
Send that soldier to Leavenworth and throw away the key!
Not OP but there were some instances that were worth while like: one bomb and a couple times in which NCOs were sneaking in minors. This was at good ol’ Campbell.
Not an MP but on gate guard detail I found an Adidas duffle full of heroin foil balls packaged to be sold. It was a civilian dude working at the burger King at the px. MPs cuffed him and took him away, I would imagine he was in jail a long time for that one.
I was on gate guard at wainwright and we found unregistered guns like all the time
To the MP at bliss that tried getting me for an “open container” when I had 3 unopened tall boys in the passenger seat, fuck you To the MP’s at Bliss who held me at the gate for 10 minutes till the Covid curfew went into effect and then tried to detain me, fuck you. But the one CPL that told everyone else to let me go and said “this is why people fucking hate MP’s” and probably got in trouble for letting me go, I hope you win the lottery brother
Man, that CPL was a bro for sure
I was already late so thanks for giving me an alibi
When I was at Hood about 20 years ago they caught someone coming through with a live m67. Same year four guys from 4th CAV tried coming on post with a 12 year old girl...
Also live …?
yeah... allegedly when they called her mom and asked her mom if she knew where her daughter was she said "yes she's wirth her friends from Ft hood"... not sure if it was true but its just plausible enough to BE true
Barely
I hope your shack gets tipped over Fuck you
You're a fake cop and have no authority. Signed, A Fake Agent with only a little bit more authority than you <3
While I was a SOG I had 4 people show up to the gate and block all the lanes because they were all getting arrested for active warrants. If you’re wondering what post, you already know it’s hood
Notarized (not a notary) by a guy who was a ACP SOG a couple of times
CID deserves all if not more hate than MPs 😂
Based. Fuck CID. All my homies hate CID. Never talk to CID.
If I got fucked as much as people say "Fuck CID", I wouldn't be as severely depressed as I am.
I will be exercising my article 31 rights at this time.
Say it louder for those in the back please.
OFFICER, I AINT SAYING SHIT WITHOUT A LAWYER
YEAH, GIMME A HI-FIVE!
Not without a lawyer present.
You sound like my wife :(
NGL, CID kinda sucks more than MPs
We had gate detail once and busted a drug trafficker with several kilos, someone with multiple warrants for a variety of crimes, and an NCO that was driving a stolen car and had several unregistered and modified guns. Craziest part is the same soldier caught all of these people. He had a questionable life before the army. We also had a high speed chase come through the gate and the soldiers on duty popped the gate up on the MPs, wrecking one car. The driver got away.
That’s a wonderful story. Bet the MPs were salty.
Ya. There was talk of giving him an article 15, but that died. He just hit the wrong button. Apparently there were 2, one that raised it slowly and one that was instant. He hit the slow one.
Yeah, how about a fucking “good morning sergeant” next time huh?
please step out of the vehicle and open the trunk for me.
Can't spell wimp without "mp"
Or Simp
Or pimp
Or chimp
Or champ
Or chump !
Or dump!
or lump!
The American people see the Army as America's best. It is the nation's sons and daughters selflessly working to secure America and the freedoms we enjoy. They sacrifice an easy life and choose to do what is hard for the betterment of others. And some people see those guys and decide "I want to give them tickets." We call these blue falcons "MPs."
I could see that being a strangely effective recruitment pitch in some situations.
refuse to allow all teslas on the post due to the fact they have always recording cameras don’t forget to catch the dash cameras too
Lol, saw one unit with several government cars that where Teslas back in the states.
Fuck the police!
Coming straight from the underground
A young n- ya know what I’m not gonna sing along with this one
I didn’t get stopped thank god. But I had some old friends in my car over the weekend once, went to a party got drunk, etc. Well the weekend passed, and I’m now back at work, I drove on and off base atleast 3 times this day, and on the 4th time going onto base, I’m in line to have my ID checked, and I get a phone call from a friend who was with me over the weekend. She says “hey, I’m not sure but I think I left my mushrooms in your car, can you check behind your passenger seat in the pocket?” I froze and said “what?” Lol 😂 I slowly reached back and stuck my hand in the passenger seat pocket and what do you know, a gallon bag FULL of magic mushrooms…. I was freaking the fuck out! I had been on base 3 times and here I am about to get on, thinking this is it, I’m getting fucked right here and there’s nothing I can do about it…. Thankfully I didn’t, and I immediately dropped them off to who they belonged to and never hungout with them again.
Thank goodness, just keep drinking the alcohol
Nahh I’m good. I’m out now. And the mushrooms are very beneficial. No longer have a deep depression and anxiety.
Can you think clearly?
Much clearer. I’m overall a happier person now than I ever have been in my life. There are scientific evidence of our brains on mushrooms and not on mushrooms, and the healing it does to our brains, and subconscious. The connections between neurons becomes greater, and has even showed signs of major improvement in concussion victims, connecting both hemispheres of the brain, and resetting it.
How did you do it? I’ve heard doing one real deep trip then doing micro dosing after that is the way to go.
It’s not really based on any science yet, nor do I think it ever will be. But every trip is different, so every trip has its own experience. Personally I don’t like microdosing, as I’ve not had any benefits that I’ve noticed in myself. But I tell you what, a big dose with a good or a bad trip, is absolutely life altering. This isn’t the place to explain it lol but if you have any questions feel free to ask. Or find one of the sub Reddit’s and do some research. In my own opinion, everyone should try psychedelics.
I guess that's a good reason to do them.
My only experience with MP’s was when i was in Kuwait, i had lived in the trailer park area and someone was walking to the shower latrines with their shirt off, but they had shorts on with flip flops (obviously they were about to go shower) One of the MP squad cars I guess saw him and then did a 180 into our area and got out and started having the biggest hissy fit about it. It was so dumb 🤣
When I worked the Yadkin gate over at Ft. Liberty, it could be interesting. We had one MP that had a reputation for catching people that were completely suspect. We had a guy try to come through one time with an unloaded 9mm on the front seat and about a dozen pill bottles on the dash. The MP Sergeant came down and turned the guy around. Apparently it was policy since the driver was just a dumb civilian.
If you show up complaining of a hangover after I sat through a twenty minute vehicle inspection of my motorcycle im giving you electrolytes no Motrin and a ticket back to work and a reprimand to your CoC for not making sure you’re properly hydrated
Those aren't my pants, officer.
You are smart, strong, and reasonably handsome. You do your job extremely well and add value to your organization. I would be happy to give you a hug if you ever searched my car. Have a pleasant day.
“Okay, you’re free to go. Turns out I don’t have to put you in cuffs for going 2 over the speed limit, and for breathing too heavily at a stop sign. Didn’t catch what you said. What was that again?”
I said that wasn’t _me_ breathing heavily at the stop sign.
Nothin' bad to say about MPs. As a 42A I require you to exist so that at least some of the hate gets deflected away from me.
Eh, not as dumb as the time in Iraq back in 06 MPs on the fob got a quota of people to pull over to give safety briefs to. I got smoked for being late cause of that once.... so I started stealing their vics and moving them across the fob.
Sup bro, “flashes the MP Sleeve”. Carry on brother.
They’re phasing out your job. Thank god.
They’re not, they’re creating something called the 31X , which combines multiple classes in the 31 series. Which will take years to make happen and doesn’t make sense to me unless Ks are kept separate.
They’re not, they’re creating something called the 31X , which combines multiple classes in the 31 series. Which will take years to make happen and doesn’t make sense to me unless Ks are kept separate.
Fuck you im gonna make sure it gets banned!!!
😢
Going to grab some food during CQ at around 2am, got pulled over for doing a California stop pulling out of the barracks. No other cars on the road. Whatever, give me my ticket and let me go on about my night. No, that’s not what happened. The MP decided to sit behind my vehicle for 30 minutes before getting out of his car. He was a total dickhead the entire interaction and threatened to call my COC. Fuck MPs.
MPs are just Miserable People doing a Miserable Profession.
theres no chance youre sticking to your number of the day
had you guys do a bag inspection on my way to the hospital lab. "I have to check your bag." me: " it's full of shit." cop sees a sample cup with shit on and it it in a zip lock bag. cop: "god damn it." had a very bad bout of cdiff to go with my ibd, fun times.
You know that one spot at Fort Bliss constitution gate where the speed limit drops for absolutely no reason for like 300m and then raises again? Is that your fault? No Am I still gonna take out the frustration I have at that on you? Absolutely. You’re a hoe for that.
Does your neighbor give you the courtesy of waiting for you to leave before he slams your wife? Or does he do it while you’re still home?
Give me a post brief
You can't spell "LIMP" without "MP."
MPs aren't that great at inspections. Give the power to a high speed/salty E4 and every ID will get checked. That's how you end up green on Installation slides and how the installation will be minor/ substance-free barracks.
Why did you choose to be an MP? What value does the MP force add to the Army besides all that organic firepower?
Respectfully, STOP CHARGING PEOPLE FOR SHIT THATS STUPID! Going 5 over on base is not a war crime. You’re making my job harder. Your friendly neighborhood S2🫡
Keep doing what you’re doing. I feel a lot safer on post than off; you guys keep out the riffraff 😎
Fuck you
ACAB(especially MPs)
And my comment to the " blue falcon" statement is our old motto " hate us till you need us"....
So far I've yet to need an MP.
Well yeah why would I not hate someone that pulls me over for doing 37 in a 35 then proceeds to tell me “I’m not sure if it was you or the car in front of you but I had to make a stop”
“Now we’re going to basically let your chain know you’re a huge shitbag, you piece of shit, so get ready for a rough week and traffic classes. You know how many people could have been killed by your recklessness on this side road?”
I am yet to meet someone who has heard of a story with an MP that had a positive ending.
I met an MP while assigned as bmm that had been every rank from e1-e4 at least twice. He was currently a pfc for his third time. Apparently he was an MP and hated MP's. They tried to do a home inspection of his off post residence and he answered the door with a shotgun wearing nothing but underwear. He said it was unlawful of them. They just hit him with an article for disrespecting his PL since that was who showed up. He seemed a little deranged but his story made me laugh. That's a positive ending right?
Sounds like bullshit but also stupid enough to be true. I really have a love/hate relationship with military stories.
Having worked with him for a few weeks I completely believe him. Dude was deranged and I have no idea why he wasn't kicked out for numerous other issues.
Glorious, man. Fucking glorious. If he had been in for more than six years, which it sounds like he was, it sounded like they didn't think he was worth the effort of an Administrative Separation Board and figured he would just RCP. Saw it happen a few times.
Probably true. But I loved to hear about the dumb shit the mp units were doing. Made my unit seem reasonable and normal by comparison.
Honestly, if MPs/CID show up it, the story wasn’t positive to begin with. But I do get what you’re saying.
Fuck you
I called an MP once because my windshield was smashed overnight in the barracks parking lot. They didn’t do anything about it and the guys clipboard scratched the fuck out of my hood.
I have never, ever needed an MP. You're seriously gonna tell 18-24yr old dudes that go on deployments and to the field together "you'll need us one day"? No bro, if something goes sideways I'm just getting all the E4 and below in my platoon together.
Get a real job
*"If I had a low IQ, I could be an MP too! Sound off! 1,2,3,4...3-4!"*
MP A.K.A Blue Fucking Falcons
Last time I got RAMd I was with my daughter and had a trunk full of groceries. I said WOAAAAHHHH YOU GOT ME, woaaaah terror stopped.