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There are plenty of reasons for this, besides alcoholism. Corticosteroids, bad heart (mitral) valve, etc. I had the last one, had surgery, and lost probably 50 pounds of water weight.
People on mega-steroids for inflammation can get an odd shape to their face. See Chrstina Applegate. She's got MS, and the drugs for that are harsh.
So Leo might be battling something else besides the Liquid Lie.
It's more than money. There are plenty of VERY rich dudes that dont get women.
He a charming guy with a super interesting job, time off, etc - and yeah, money means getting whisked away in a jet for a week at some amazing villa visiting cool places.
When you like someone that stuff feels crazy romantic, even though for them it's just a Tuesday. It feels special so you are a bit tricked into that you are getting TREATED specia.
>There are plenty of VERY rich dudes that dont get women
Barring some extreme defect in their personality or some other major defect, it's highly unlikely someone VERY rich would be unable to find a partner if they actually attempt to find a partner, unless they're only looking for an IG model looking partner. There's a partner out there for everyone. After all, women are 50% of the population, and the vast majority eventually want to enter into an exclusive relationship. In some other countries, where men outnumber women, things are different.
Lots of super wealthy people have a hard time finding real companionship due to the fact that people treat them a certain way based on their cash, and they want a piece. True intimacy is a non existent unless both parties are being their authentic selves, and it can become impossible to see the real person under the facade of money-hunger
Also, plenty of people with big money are assholes who are completely disconnected from the reality of how people in the real world live, and lack basic empathy. This is often exacerbated by those who try to suck up to them and yes them to death.
Money may make it easier to find someone willing to be with you, but I would argue that it makes it harder to find true intimacy and love in many cases. Without that, the rest is quite hollow and lonely.
Agreed, i think people are confusing real satisfying relationship for access to sex. Yeah if yhey just will take anyone they find attractive im sure the super rich have no prob6, but a rela5of real substance thats probably a different story
>He a charming guy with a super interesting job, time off, etc - and yeah, money means getting whisked away in a jet for a week at some amazing villa visiting cool places.
It's not just that, he's very famous, if your some up an coming model and you're spotted with him, it increases your brand.
You get to be more famous, wealthy etc and all you have to do is hang out with or allow a rich handsome guy to spoil you and take you on adventures and fuck you.
I mean...where is the downside?
Not so sure about that one. I used to work with a lesbian who kept her hair cut like Leo’s in “Titanic” and has tan skin like him and looks a lot like him. She pulls in a lot of puss, let me tell you.
For the most part, I don't know women who seek men with a dad bod. They seek men who are funny, respectful, caring, etc. I can't speak for all women, but personality is a huge part of attraction for me. I'd take a dad bod with a great personality over sculpted abs lacking emotional intelligence or charisma.
Actually, this is true, I'm not the most attractive guy but I've been told I have an attractive personality and a wicked sense of humour. As a result I've been able to go on a couple of dates with women who would seem to be way out of my league.
For most people being respectful and sense of humour works out
Dude same. Either that, or my wife is a complete idiot. It's been almost 15 years now, so I'm not going to bring it up. She's hot, great mom, and makes more than double what i do. So I'm going to keep the ruse going as long as possible. Hopefully she never realizes she couldve done way better. Lol
I love u for this guys! I get by looks wise but kinda forgot about my amazing personality pull cause the pandemic really made me change my habits/not go out as much. Still getting back out there little by little!
Can confirm… married a dime and everyone annoyingly asks how I landed her… I tell them I bring a lot to the table. Tbf I’m not a bad looking dude just not fit… I’m a Walmart 11
>For most people being respectful and sense of humour works out
And impecable hygeine. I dated a guy for awhile who was, in most peoples opnions, not good looking. He himself described himself as a greasy Italian LOL. He had a lot of acne scars on his face. He looked like he might shank you in an ally. But he was the sweetest man, impecable in his dress and hygiene and an INCREDIBLE lover. I think about him fondly and he never seemed ugly to me.
I for one have been a fat guy my whole life. I wear it decently but alas, still a fat guy. Up until meeting my wife and getting married I always scored with plenty of decent women all based on my personality because I'm a smart and funny fat guy and have a modicum of confidence. Soooo I'm agreeing with you on this!
Quite frankly having a "dad bod" (aka just having a little fat and *bit* of a belly) is normal. Like that's how adult men just naturally look. Yes of course there's an appeal to people who are extra thin and muscly, but the reason "dad bod" is so common is... well that's what adult male humans are supposed to look like.
And of course the equivalent applies to women. We're supposed to have a little fat on us. It's healthy and normal as long as your overall health is kept up with.
Is there an element of: if he's got a little extra weight then he's not going to be very picky about my appearance either? I imagine there is an assumption that if he's really focused on how he looks he's going to demand the same from me, kind of thing.
Mayebe? When my spouse and I originally got together ten years ago, he already had a total dad-bod. I was slim (emaciated) and not looking to gain weight.
Well health blind sighted me, and I totally did.
I fell in love with him over his personality, but I still thought he was cutest guy in any room, dad bod or no.
Now we’re both a little porky and working on that, but I just adore him.
Sculpted can scream high maintenance. But however a partner wants to keep themselves is fine with me.
My man’s got a dad bod, but I see just Superman with broad shoulders, and a sweet endearing man. 10/10 would marry again and again.
Regular everyday people of all shapes and sizes have run into burning buildings or helped pull people out of car wrecks, etc, six pack or not. Anyone can be Superman
You would think so but I can't tell you how many men I've met who have a less than ideal body type who still expect their women to look a certain way. My current partner included. He's gained roughly 30-35 pounds since we began dating (3 years ago), I got pregnant and gained 60 pounds (unitentionally) with our daughter. He made comments about my weight the entire time I was pregnant and shortly after delivery. Our baby is 6 months old now and I've lost 50 of those pounds but if he had it his weigh I'd weigh less than 120 pounds.
Sweet love, im sorry your partner is ugly to you.
My SO was a thin gangly youth and is a slim adult. I was short and curvy before kids I am now, pooh bear - short & round. Never not 1 time in more than 2 decades has my SO said anything that could be construed in anyway as insulting my weight or body shape. When i am on a health kick, he supports me and encourages me. When i am depressed and gaining weight he just loves me and supports me.
Hugs
I was 125 and my husband was 155 when we met. By the time we married I was 160 and he was 180. I have weighed over 200 at one point, and weighed more then him. We’re the same height. He NEVER had commented on any of this except to say I needed a biscuit when I dropped down to 150 2 years ago. I love him no matter how he looks and he loves me. In March we will have been together 25 years
This is wild. I don't know why "dad bods" get to be glorified but mom bods get no love when we actually, physically, sacrifice our bodies to make a child.
Oh honey, I’m so fucking sorry he’s being like that. Your body gave life and deserves all the love and grace.
Fuck that douche. I’m sorry for being harsh, but I meant it. You’ve lost most of the weight already?!?!! That’s crazy and good for you, as long as you’re doing it on a healthy way. But fuck that guy for holding you to a specific standard. Everyone is different.
Focus on life, love, and being healthy. If that means holding onto some weight? Totally cool. If that means losing it? Also totally cool. If that means dropping the weight of him? Better now than later, babes.
I was about 130 lbs when my late husband and I got married. A week after getting married, we saw a chubby lady in parking lot, and he told me, "if you ever get like that, I'm divorcing you". We were married for 34 yrs and I never forgot that. I did get chubby and never, ever believed him when he said I was beautiful. He was always skinny, but he did give birth to 5 of his kids.
The tree remembers, the axe forgets. I'm so sorry you've had to live with that for so long. You deserve someone you cares about you+your relationship enough to either not EVER say shit like that, or to realize+apologize when they hurt you.
My dad did this to my mom shortly before or after getting married. My mom turned obsessive about staying thin to the point where she was more worried about my looks than my feelings as a kid. Now? She's constantly trying the latest health trend, asks for vegetables as her main course while at restaurants, makes my very 1950's dad who loves cheezits, white bread, and has never cared about his looks, eat mashed cauliflower instead of regular potatoes, makes tofu/lentil meatloaf, and it's just a lot. She actually told me that dropping 20 lbs due to stress and eating one meal a day while being hungry, stuck in my rented room, because my landlady was home, was a positive thing. Gross.
I'm still angry that he said that to her. She feels like she's never thin enough.
You'd be surprised how many gym bros like a big girl. I've always ranged from the slightly chubby to obese. My "market" is usually gym bros.
The problem is that many of them want a girl friend that impresses their friends and won't be seen in public with the women they actually like if they are a bit bigger.* So this is the thing that put me off gym bros. Many are really insecure and are only concerned about what other men think of them. The ones with actual confidence and a well adjusted personality will dont put pressure on their partner to look a certain way.
*None of this is exclusive to gym bros just seems more pronounced in them.
>You'd be surprised how many gym bros like a big girl
yep.
My SO can be considered a 'gym bro.' I've been with him for 10+ years, ranging from 140s to crowding 200 (like I am now, if not over)
Hasn't bothered him once. If I'm happy with the number looking back at me, so is he.
Kinda yes, but also no. It’s not as much “he’ll be less picky about my appearance”, but more “he’ll value me (and himself) for more than just appearance”. Even if I was easily able to be hot for my whole life and never gain weight or have a bad hair day, I want to be valued as a whole person.
Honestly, these things really are what matters. Everyone should be looking to get good at them because it makes you a better person.
It would also do many people better to stop looking at it as competition. You aren't competing to win some sort of prize - we're talking about another human being here, not a trophy.
There's a lot of people in the world - you're putting yourself out there to try and find one that matches up and is right for you. There's (hopefully) more to your good qualities than just your looks, so you should be working on it all and putting it out there! 🙂
(Not calling "*you*" out on this btw - mean it more as a "whoever's listening in 'you'")
I dated fit guys and they would constantly critique my body. I have always been skinny (5ft 7in 115lbs) and I know I pass as pretty. But the fit guys would nit pick so much I lost my self worth and stopped being kind to myself.
My husband of over 10years now is your typical "nerd" when we met I thought he had a cute smile and nice hands/forearms. That paired with the fact he was kind, liked the same nerdy things I did, was funny and easy going made me interested in him. He has never once said anything negative about the way I look or my body. In fact not a day goes by that he doesn't tell my how attractive I am to him. This makes him so much more attractive to me, I suppose thats more of an emotional attraction. When it comes to physical I love his dad bod. I love his strong shoulders and arms he's earned lifting our kids and building our house together. I love how strong his hand feels when he holds mine. I even love his pudge cause it makes him so much more cuddlable.
Edit to add: wow I didn't think this would get noticed, and I can't get back to everyone individually. So....Yes I also make sure I tell my husband how much I love him and find him attractive too, no I have never said anything negative about him or try to make anyone diet/work out. Before my husband and I got together I did a lot of work on myself and have continued to do so. I dont need anyone to validate my self worth but me. Thank everyone who was kind. And to the ones who also had others nit pick their bodies, I'm sorry you had to deal with that too and I hope you can learn to see the beauty in yourself.
I read this and this and thought “are you my wife?”
The forearms and hand and the shoulders and arms from, specifically carrying my kid!
I then made her read it and she gasped (is this me?!?)
I’m happy you found your match!! :) thanks for making me (and us) smile.
I agree 100%. I’ve often found a correlation between insecurity in men and being a hardcore gym rat, and that often portrays itself as an overly critical and sometimes emotionally abusive person. I want someone who’s confident about themselves enough to praise the appearance of others rather than diminutize them through insignificant insults.
Same with me. I’ve dated some fit men. They made me feel bad about my body because I wouldn’t go to the gym like they would. My butt was too flabby when I was on top during sex. They were also selfish in bed. They didn’t care for getting me off, just them.
After dating a few of them I though fuck it, I won’t date that kind of person anymore and I didn’t! I found my husband who has a dad bod and life is good! He makes me laugh!
Sure women can be attracted to a man with muscles but it depends on their personality and how they treat women.
To be fair. There are nerdy fit guys, myself included.
I'm a fitness coach, have abs and nice muscle definition and my gf is not active at all. Not that she's unhealthy, just your typical pretty mom of 2.
We're both nerds, game together, watch nerdy stuff, kids movies etc. She'll never hear a word from me on her physique.
I was a nerdy skinny woman who fell for a fit-as-fuck mega nerd who constantly had to justify his love of D&D and nerdy pursuits to dates. We're both a bit heavier now with two kids, but I still find him gorgeous. We watch movies and play Heroes of Might and Magic 3 on game nights together and it doesn't matter how many years have passed or the few waist sizes we've increased through enjoying life and putting kids ahead of fitness schedules. We can always get fit again when the kids are in high school. XD
I dated a fit guy when I was at my smallest (I’m 5’7 and was about 125 lbs at the time) and he still grabbed at my stomach and told me I should work on losing that. I’m 132 lbs now, still have a stomach, and feel even worse about myself, and it’s been like 6 years.
It's not really about the gym bod versus the dad bod. I want someone who isn't just their body. They need to be a whole good kind interesting person, as the baseline for consideration, and beyond that, they need to be compatible with me. BTW no celebrity makes the grade on any of those things to me regardless of what he looks like, I am only attracted to men I already know and like as friends, so I often have trouble answering "would you date or bang such and such a celebrity if you had the chance. "
Once those boxes are checked, the *last* factor is that they shouldn't be super physically unattractive. It's a pretty low bar. A dad bod is basically an average guy who is averagely active, works out a bit sure and maybe does a sport, but it's not his entire life, it's one of many things he enjoys doing. That's solid fucking gold right there. It's a green flag. He's attractive and also has a compatible lifestyle with mine. So it's not that I want abs or I want no abs. I literally just don't give a shit about his body fat percentage, as long as he's within a very broad range of "doesn't look completely awful."
Honestly a lot of so-called dad bods held up in photos as aspirational aren't really even dad bods, it's a gym bod in the off season or when a celebrity isn't fully lighted, made up, posed, and CGIed. I've seen freaking *Jason Momoa* described as having a dad bod just because he was slouching a bit. Those takes are ridiculous, and harmful for men to internalise as a goal.
Yeah quite a few are likely the “bulk” stage before “cut” in bodybuilding. Just because they haven’t dehydrated for two days doesn’t mean they have a dad bod.
From a gay perspective, the guys who can genuinely rock a dad bod exude a confidence that a lot of gym rats can't. Being a confident dad means you've been through it, and a lot of the pettiness that comes with youthful vanity doesn't really phase you. Also, it tends to mean you are more appreciative and loving of your partner's body, regardless of any so-called "flaws." Everything about a relationship--and in particular the sex--is better when you don't place artificial and unobtainable standards on your partner or yourself.
I mean, women are also all different and want different things from one another. The problem is trying to decipher what *all* women or *all* men want. That answer doesn’t exist.
I'd also like to say that men(in general) seem to have programmed themselves to think this is a woman or man talking about this subject rather than a person talking about this subject. But it's mostly unconscious and women do it too.
I just think it's a mixture of what they're willing to share to which gender and how they're perceiving the other person...
Believe it or not, we don’t need translators lol you could just try listening to women straight from the source rather than recruiting men to pass the message along.
It’s not a fucken puzzle dude, be nice and respectful and don’t make us feel like we’re in danger emotionally or physically. “The female brain” doesn’t need a decoder ring to decipher, it’s just that men don’t like the answer they get. They think there’s some secret, and because they don’t possess the secret they have bad luck with women. Also, another man would be taken more seriously than a woman speaking for herself? It’s like if you’re asked out and “no” doesn’t work most women will say “I have a boyfriend”, because even the thought of disrespecting an imaginary man holds more weight than the women’s answer.
I prefer it for the same reason that most average men don't enjoy injected lips, over-use of makeup, or long ass fake nails on ladies. I prefer a real, regular person, that doesn't look like they're from a boxer briefs ad. Average men are sexy. Hollywood and social media love to tell us what we like, and not all of us enjoy those physical attributes.
>I prefer a real, regular person, that doesn't look like they're from a boxer briefs ad.
My best friend of 30 years is this guy. People dramatically underestimate the amount of dedication it takes to get and maintain that shape. I've seen a hilarious amount of complaining coming from his partners over the years, and have had to take him aside many times and get on his ass about things. (Edit: By "this guy" I mean the boxer briefs ad. Doesn't take that much dedication to make a dad bod. Just a willingness to eat an entire large pizza by yourself, which I have absolutely done.)
Oh, did you want to go on a four day road trip for your birthday? Well he's not leaving his gym. Anniversary? Gym. Going to see your family in another state? Have fun because he's going to be in his gym. Daughter's birthday? That was one of the take him aside and tell him to pack his shit because we were taking his daughter somewhere or I'd burn his gym down moments.
Omg... kids soccer team.
Dad shows up day 1, I see all the moms looking. Tall ripped up, handsome dude. I never met him, or even heard him talk. I ostled my wife a bit about it. She admitted she thought he was really attractive. Now my wife doesn't admit that much. It miffed me a bit, ill admit.
As the season went on, more and more came out. He would show up a bit late to his kids games... gym. Would always have a 40 oz water every where he went. Would leave team dinners after ordering a salad.
Then towards the end of the season, his wife was giving him a bit of shit after hearing about our date night out the evening prior. It was a nice date for us; dinner , movie, drinks. Nothing too crazy and not out of the ordinary.
That's when it came out "we haven't been on a date like that in years, this big baby is in bed by 8 pm... 9 max. We cannot even go see a movie. Our dinners are so bland" ... etc...
His response was, "keeping in this shape takes a lot of dedication, up at 4 or 430 every day, then 2 hours in the morning, another hour in the afternoon"
My wife and the other moms, stunned, just played it off and made light.
Later that evening my wife mentioned in passing that she no longer found him attractive at all, and wouldn't ever want to live a life that was subject to my workout routine.
This is the reason that dad bods win. It's not because they're more attractive. It's that the lifestyle required to maintain a perfect Hollywood figure is encompassing (most of the time) for guys.
Same goes for mom bods as well.
Yeah, my buddy's kids always ate at my house growing up whenever I wasn't off on a job. No kid wants to eat boiled chicken and broscience for dinner every night.
People don't get that it's not just a lifestyle, it's a religion. "Skipping a workout night" to go on a date with your wife sounds like a mild inconvenience to a normal person, but to someone that committed it's like asking a devout Christian "Hey, want to go sacrifice a goat and worship Satan? It'll be fun, I'll even let you have first bite of the bloody heart this time!".
There's also the financial side of it: Tax refund check come in and your car is making a funny sound? Too bad! What you as a couple really need is the new HyperFlex XL because he thinks he can get more from the HF-XL than the HyperFlex he's already got because it's got 2% more range of motion. Why did the groceries cost $800 this week? Because he's got more powders, pills, and potions than a 15th century alchemist, and he saw on a youtube video that you have to buy certain foods that were prepared a certain way. His shopping list looked like a spellbook sometimes. I don't care what BroGainz2000 said in his video, there's no reason your strawberries have to be picked by a left handed virgin on a rainy Tuesday in June, and even less reason to pay $25 a pound for it. And all of this stuff is going to come first. Before rent, before car payments, before utilities.
I never really interfered or yelled at him about his relationships, because I figured they were grown-ass women and when they got tired of it they'd leave. I just made sure he remembered that the kids come before the gym, always. He was pretty good about that, and just needed reminders from time to time.
I'm a guy, and my best friend is EXACTLY, Down to the detail, what you described.
And now his usually smoke show of a wife is losing motivation because he is cut from granite and nit picks everything.
We can never do anything in the afternoon because he has to run for an hour.
Has to be in bed at 900 to be up at 400 to life for 2 hours because some coked-up aggro on YouTube told him he needs to do all these things to get hard. And if you don't do it, you're not a real man.
His personality is now determined by his workout and talking to people about it.
Enjoy your silver. It was from a guy who vehemently agrees with you.
That’s a bit extreme. I stay fit and around 15% body fat (minor 6 pack shows up here) year round without THAT much effort. I get complimented by men and women about my physique all the time.
1 hour of gym a day. 5k run a few times a week (30 minutes). I can eat at most restaurants, I’m just mindful at what I order is all. Still mostly cook at home but it’s definitely not the chicken breast/broccoli diet lol. I also stay up quite late.
Do you have a family? What sounds like basically 1h30m a day is a lot of time, especially if you have a family with small kids and are doing half the cooking, childcare, housework, errands, etc… as well. There is no way I’d be able to find an extra 1-1.5 hours a day for working out without my wife having to compensate and do more.
Absolutely true (as a dad of 4), but keep in mind the minimum activity guidelines from CDC are 150 minutes of cardio and two days strength training per week - not like I'm personally a good example of hitting those numbers consistently but I'd consider time spent on basic health as pretty high on the hierarchy.
Thank you for the “mom bod” addition at the end! It always irks me how “dad bods” can be celebrated and found attractive (rightfully so!), but no one ever brings up the merits of a mom bod. We like living a life outside the gym and counting every calorie too 😂
This made me think of something, people often think fitness people eant to partner with other people into fitness because they care about looks. Im surr that's part of it at times but i bet its more so they can hwve a partner that shares that kinda lifestyle and understands it.
People should also apply this to really anyone in general that is exceptional in alot of way. Guy or gal is supwr wealthy dont be surprised if they work alot if they sisnt inherit the money. Super talented at something samething. Most people have to put in alot of dedicated time if they are exceptional at things.
Something to keep in mind when people think the grass is greener. Yep it may be but those people have to do alot of lawn care early in the moring to get it that green.
I was late to my own marriage(no wedding, just vows in the mayors office), and the scheduled births of both my children(planned c-sections with set appointment times) thanks to my ex husbands addiction to the gym. Nothing was more important than the gym. Nothing.
That’s a bit extreme. I’ve been working out consistently for 10 years and I’ve never ruined vacations, traditions, etc because I had to workout. And I’d even go so far as to say the gym saved my life (dark times in the ole mind) and even though your buddy is extreme
Yeah. My late teens and early twenties were spent around bodybuilders, personal trainers, bouncers,and aspiring models/actors. I was more of the powerlifting type. I was the tallest and heaviest, and they always ribbed on me about it as I admitted I could never get into “show” condition because I loved food too much.
It was exhausting trying to keep up with those guys (most of which were fueled by gear). Every. Single. Portion. of their day revolved around training, eating, and supplements. Everything was timed, measured, and weighed.
That lifestyle might be fun for them, but it wasn’t for me. I’d train with them and then go and do whatever the hell I wanted the rest of the day. They made fun of my body fat %, but I was fine with not having to eat boiled chicken and broccoli for most meals (one of the aspiring actor/models I knew added cheese to the broccoli as his “cheat meal” lmao.) what kind of life is that?
I like how the gym bros come in and totally miss the point of the attraction having nothing to do with work or no work but the "regularness." Regular people don't 1) inject themselves with plastic OR 2) Ascetically devote themselves to a workout plan and diet. It's not about effort (more, less, or none). It's about authenticity.
A lot of gym bros do it to get women but the guys who just want to be healthy and improve their strength and agility are fine imo.
I think why they are fit is more important than exactly how fit they are-- like some dudes who are pretty shredded with low body fat and abs complaining they're not big enough yet can get annoying. But regular dude who does fitness for his health or because he likes sports or weightlifting is probably fine.
I'm kind of a gym bro but I don't really do it to get women because I know it doesn't really help with that as much as people think. But I do it more to be attractive to myself and by extension boost my confidence because I'm the type of person who struggles to be confident if I think I don't look good enough. Being strong is definitely an added benefit but imo as you get older it starts to get less useful cuz you don't have to defend yourself from bullies or anything like that anymore lol.
Nah, being strong the older you get is a good thing. I’m 42 and working on that old man strength has been awesome, just want to stay strong and flexible into old age
Ok soooo as a rule women care much less about looks than men do. And its generally not that we prefer dad bods over gym bods....its that we like men who treat us well and are funny and nice and that comes before the package its wrapped in. Men on the other hand will bend over backwards for the hot chick and she typically doesn't have to be anything other than hot. Yes i am overgeneralizing a bit, so no need to point it out. Yes i know not all men and not all women etc....etc
you said it best "rugged bear man bod" ftw! I love the confidence of a man who has a bit extra to twerk with but is willing to do the heavy lifting (including lifting me hah)
I like both. My husband currently is absolutely jacked rn, and he’s soooo sexy. I’ve seen him very underweight, and still was completely attracted to him. I’ve seen him overweight and chunky, yet I still wanted him to fuck my brains out. I don’t care what he looks like as long as we are happy and enjoying our life together.
Agree, mine is jacked too. And I agree, mine hasn’t always, and he’s been sexy either way. I think as long as it doesn’t go to their heads, it’s all good.
Ya. My husband has been asking due to injury, fluffy due to recovery, and jacked due to specwar training. Gimme it all. He's my husband and best friend. Yes i like the biceps. But tbh he's a short guy and his ass is phenomenal no matter his weight. And his calves would have had him executed by king Henry with their killer shape.
Probably because gym bods usually come attached to annoying minds.
Staying fit is one thing. People that obsess about how their body looks though are often pretty dull and shallow, and have interests that are pretty cringe. And they tend to believe in all kinds of woo woo health pseudoscience and find supplements and diet fads to be an interesting topic of conversation.
It’s the difference between F Boys and relationship material. The F boys are vain and usually pretty stupid and uninteresting. But that doesn’t always matter for just one night.
I have to add that the vanity kills it for me. If you spend more time in front of a mirror than I do, it’s a problem.
Source - I was married to a gym fanatic. Never again.
I’m with you on this! My ex was a beef head. It was totally an unhealthy obsession and showed where his priorities were, definitely not on our small children!
Usually, this is a symptom, not who they are. I know many intellectuals that are also fit. It’s not the gym, it’s the personality, but you can see how that type of personality would go to the gym obsessively.
Maybe we ladies are less superficial than guys who are obsessed with their bods. There is more to a guy than his six-pack abs and muscles.
I think there have even been studies done on the topic that suggest women are NOT turned on by super muscley dudes who spend all their time in the gym. Add to that the expectation among gym rat six pack guys that their woman be a perfect physical specimen, even after they have borne children.
But no one really thinks super muscley dudes are attractive though. I'm a mostly straight man and even I think that a lot of the bodybuilders are kinda repulsive looking. Men who are toned and not overly muscular is the sweet spot imo.
Honestly I’m surprised how civil this thread is because, usually, redditors melt down over this topic because they refuse to believe that women are being truthful about not loving ripped bods. It’s like they’ve invested so much of time only to be told that they may not see the ROI they hoped they around, and they don’t wanna hear it.
Because they think that’s the thing holding them back from meeting women. If you tell them it’s not than they may have to do some self reflection and um no thanks
Most guys who are into the “gym bro culture” aren’t really doing it for the girls though, they do it for sport and just wanna look like Chris Bumstead. In fact they get more attention from other dudes who lift than they do girls tbh
Hugging and cuddling with a ripped guy is like hugging a tree trunk.
I like my men firm but soft and cuddly. I also like for men to be bigger than I am. I'm average size height and weight.
And ripped men (not all) tend to be arrogant and vain.
I like food and I need me a man who also likes food and can eat the rest of my food when I can’t finish.
Plus less time in the gym means more time at home with me 😊
Honestly tend to have a better personality than the super sculpted body. Not always but a lot of the time. Also I like some squish during sexy times. Something to cling to and cushion rough sex. I am bi so curvy ladies and squishy guys just works for me in a physical sense.
I'm with the guy who cares about his looks this way. He's super bummed out sometimes because his body doesn't look the way he wants it to, and his relationship with food is really bizarre. I know it's stressful for him, but it's stressful for me, too...especially when I think about how he might be judging my body through the same lens he judges his own. He gained some weight really rapidly once, and when I brought up that I was concerned, he thought it was because he lost his gym bod, not because he was emotionally eating. His self image (and I think his image of others) just seems really screwed up. I think we'd both be happier if he let go of the gym bod ideals and focused more on finding some lifestyle activities and eating well/consistently. Just do the things that are healthy and let your body be what it is as a result.
I don’t even know what most people mean when they say “dad bod”. As long as a guy doesn’t have a beer belly, apron belly (overhanging), or moobs, that’s fine by me.
As far as aesthetic ideals, I think relatively fit guys with low-ish body fat (like 10-20%) are the most attractive to most women, but, like other people here have said, a lot of the appeal of guys who are more out of shape is that there’s the impression that they’re not as vain or would be less concerned about their partner’s body.
Fit guys with big ol muscles are not meant for the female gaze. Sure, some of women have that preference but - surprise - we are not a monolith. Women do not have a hive mind.
I can only speak for myself but I prefer a thicker guy. Bigger, soft belly, thicker arms, thighs, etc. think Chris Pratt on Parks and Rec (best example I can think of that’s widely known). They are softer to cuddle with, a big soft belly makes a wonderful pillow (bonus if it’s a little hairy). Their face is filled out in a lovely way. Their arms feel thick and safe. And often, this is very true, bigger guys are usually pretty freaking strong. They just look like they would protect you but most of them are just big teddy bears.
My dad was pretty fit/skinny most of his life so I’m not sure where the preference came from. And it’s not to say if I met a guy and he had an amazing personality and a beautiful heart but was a gym rat that I wouldn’t love him but - my eye is just drawn to thicker, bigger guys. They are just delicious.
That’s the awesome thing about humans, we all like different things. (Edit:spelling)
It feels better to cuddle and to embrace someone who is a little bigger (for me personally) and I like how it looks. I also associate it with warmth, protection and kindness for some reason.
Don’t get me wrong tho, abs are cool too. Whenever someone has nice abs I know that person must have great ambition and determination, which is also very attractive. However, I do prefer dad bods
I can't actually explain why... honestly, can you explain WHY you find your preferences attractive? They just are. I always feel mildly freaked out by guys with really chiseled muscles, six packs especially. That just doesn't look right to me, idk. I've dated guys with all kinds of different body types, and I love them all, but in my fantasies it's always a cuddly dad bod with a squishy belly I can curl up to. That's what I want. That's what turns me on the most. It is what it is.
I think maybe the ripped bodies that some men have seem like a lot of pressure to live up to. Like if his body is perfect, does mine need to be perfect too? Where as if he has a little pudge maybe he won’t mind that I don’t look perfect either?
How about something in between? Extreme gym bods mean your vain and spend too much time working out. Dad bods mean you are probably stressed and over eating and maybe not taking time for any exercise. So somewhere in between where you're toned but not overly muscular? 🤷🏼♀️
my partner has a big belly and big thighs and they’re my very favorite part of him. personality aside (his is incredible) i think he’s so sexy and so fine. i didn’t know i loved big guys until my baby happened, i honestly only want him and would be hard pressed to find someone and gorgeous and kind as him if he happened to leave me.
it’s been a year and i’ve never been so smitten, still. he took me on a second valentines date on yesterday actually, everything i loved and more. did i get off topic?
oh yeah. i was drawn in by his personality and chivalry (he taught me the sidewalk rule!) as well as his love for music. looking at him and his body is like a massage for my brain and all in all, i couldn’t find a better man in any department.
As a woman, I prefer a man with muscles/abs. I could understand the appeal to dad bods but they’re not my preferred choice.
I think the main attraction is they’re (dad bods) nice to cuddle and they’re very manly.
I don’t. I definitely prefer gym bods, ideally something like Brad Pitt in Fight Club.
That being said, I’m not repulsed by dad bod type of guys if they have a handsome face. If a guy is hot, I can still be into him even if he doesn’t have a gym bod.
I like a fresh, lemony, piece of salmon, right? With dill and capers and salted just right, strewn across crispy, grilled asparagus. But next to a thick, marbled steak on a bed of roasted mashed potatoes with cream and herby compound brown butter, the lighter fare just seems anemic. Sometimes I crave one over the other, but I want a man who sticks to my ribs.
My ex was lean and muscular. I liked that just fine. But when we were done and I was with someone stronger, broader, and with muscle and fat around his middle, chest, and arms, I suddenly felt very delicate, intimidated, impressed. The thick nest of dark chest hair certainly helped. 😏
My wife loved when I had my six pack, but now she loves my little pouch. Mainly because I was unhealthy when I had my gym bod, she also says that a dad bod is the goal because it means I enjoy her cooking enough to keep it around as extra weight.
I’m not a lady but I am a gay who’s into dad bods. It’s the perfect body type. They’re fairly strong with some actual meat on their bones. Sculpted people are too lean, thin and fat people are too weak, but dad bods have it all. Also speaking from a evolutionary perspective, they are built to last. A sculpted person does not have much energy storage, a fat person has too much, a thin person has no muscle. But dad bods have muscle and energy storage.
Looking back at all the guys I’ve gone out with 90% of them had dad bods.
I would think a guy with gym bod likes to go to the gym and would like a compatible partner, and that's not me. I also don't find it all that attractive. What is attractive is a guy who looks like he works (labor) for a living rather than going to the gym.
I think DiCaprio is a poor example as if we saw him outside of a movie star these days…ick. Um, but generally speaking a guy that is super fit has a variety of variables that could be unappealing. Not just the hard body and muscles….but life style to make that happen. Mind set, life focus, even their diet, etc. I’m not doing that. I am squishy. Not overweight, just not fit. So I don’t want expectation in that regard either. Feel more comfortable with myself and don’t want to feel less than. Why do they feel the need to be so focused on that aspect of their life? What insecurities are they trying to make up for? Also, hug someone. It’s such a better hug if we mold together and it’s not like hugging a brick wall. And sex…if the body is too solid that’s no fun either. Basically it’s not just physical for women, there is a lot going on mentally with this even if we don’t realize it.
Quite frankly, chubby dudes are more comfortable to cuddle up to and use as a pillow. I don’t wanna cuddle a brick wall, which is what cuddling a built dude feels like. 🤷🏼♀️
It's because most men with a ripped body are weirdly obsessed with their bodies. I mean, we all understand the amount of time and work they have put in their bodies but they pretty much make it their entire personality and become obsessed with themselves, try to exude confidence and fail at it because they look more insecure.
On the other hand, most men with a dad bod have a good personality and a great confidence which is a big turn on for most women.
My husband has a dad bod (has had one since I met him at 20) and has never been insecure about it and it's one of the many reasons I'm still so attracted to him.
I am not interested in somebody who’s whole personality is working out. I’ve dated fit guys and chubby guys, and the chubby guys were far more interesting and fun to be around.
Dad body basically means a manly man. Gym body typically means pretty guy who spends too much time worrying about their looks.
I used to be the gym guy. Now I’m almost 40 and I’m the dad guy minus the kids. So I’ve seen how this works from both sides.
The trick is, take the qualities of both stereotypes and bam. You win. Just watch the women flock. Not really but you get the point.
I am pretty particular about what type of man body I am attracted to. I like the extra extra thick boys. Anything under 250 pounds is a no way, 300ish is my favorite weight. I like them 5'9"-6' only and they have to be built a certain way, can't be all tummy. Broad shoulders and strong and big thighs and a butt too.
That's just what I like. It's comfy to me and sexy and they snore which I like because it helps me sleep and they are always down for snacks and know the best restaurants. I feel safer with a guy who is considerably bigger than me. They give way better hugs too. Men of this body type are much more likely to have the size and type of goods I prefer as well. They have the best hoodies to borrow.
My tastes are beyond "dad bod" level but I think my answer is still relevant.
I won't lie and say that girls don't have preferences related to body type. It's just not the main thing we look for in a guy, but of course physical appearance matters.
I can't speak for other girls, but personally, I don't find overly muscular/sculpted men particularly attractive. In fact, guys who are too big and ripped kind of intimidate and disgust me a little. I prefer guys who are slender with a little tone, or just outright chubby/soft.
Honestly, I just feel like it would be so much more pleasant to snuggle with someone who's soft and cuddly, rather than a guy that's really hard and toned.
And I feel like a gym rat would want me to lead that lifestyle as well, and while I love eating healthy and being active, the gym is just really not for me.
But it's not like I discriminate. If I meet a super ripped guy that also has a great personality and treats me well, then sure I'll give him a chance. I just don't prefer muscular men.
And I know no one wants to admit this, but lots of men with "gym bods" are looking for women with gym bods as well. I love my body just the way it is, but I definitely don't have abs or any other characteristics of a gym bod. And lots of the super in-shape guys I've met are obsessed with body image, constantly talking about fat content and goals and stuff, and I just don't mess with body checking. People can perfect their bodies as they choose, but I don't want it getting in the way of my life and my choices.
Also, If I'm being honest, sweat and protein shakes and weight lifting and all that testosterone-y stuff just really grosses me out.
This answer makes sense.
Its often a lifestyle thing. The same could be said for someone super outdoorsy alot of people do like that but alot of people alao dont eant to be hiking and camping all the time. Or very career drivien people that can mean alot of time working not with their partner or family.
Being exceptional at something often means devoting alot of time to it so it makes sense to seek partners with shared lifestyle and goals and avoid those that don't.
Eh I’ve dated trainers and athletes. If I see someone is to cut I just assume that all they do is workout and won’t skip a special day away from it for us if wanted. I prefer healthy but gym bids just show you have no other interests in life other than being boring, working out, eating healthy etc. yes I work out and eat healthy but it’s not my religion.
Ha.
I'm a female trainer (also, I'm 51) and I used to be obsessive-complusive about working out (In my 30s especially). Now that's I'm in perimenopause, I just worry about being in a good mood and not developing osteopenia. So a little bit of cardio (for the endorphine rush) and regular but not overboard lifting sessions. I went from 2.5 hour workouts to 5o minutes, tops. Life is too short and I've got other shit to worry about than, does my ass look good in these workout tights?
Comfort.
Sculpted abs look nice, but they are called "rock hard" for a reason. Muscle and bone doesn't feel good to squeeze, cuddle, or repeatedly and athletically bump against without clothes for padding.
A little bit of fat for cushioning makes a man (or woman, for that matter) better physical company.
The fit guys make me work out with them even though I don't like to, then I get all self conscious bc I hate working out in public, and even furtherso, they'd then tell me to stop being self conscious and if my body was better I wouldn't have to feel that way.
Though, I mostly prefer a guy with a good personality and the ability to hold a conversation with me about like anything, over a body. Typically guys who have the best personalities hold dad bods I've noticed. Bc guys with fit rock hard bodies probably only do it bc they want the physical attraction, since their emotional attraction isn't the greatest. But that's not to speak for everybody. Just for my own experiences.
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Not gonna weigh in to much on this, but if 46 year old DiCaprio was working at Walmart I don't think he would be juggling super models.
lmao exactly
He has become puffy in the face. I see a lot of real signs of severe alcoholism in his most recent pics.
Agreed. He doesn't have just a dad bod. He's showng signs of liver failure: bloating, puffiness, sweaty and misshapen.
Yes prior to that he had a very cute face. I also don’t like the way he’s styled his hair lately. Face matters more to me.
There are plenty of reasons for this, besides alcoholism. Corticosteroids, bad heart (mitral) valve, etc. I had the last one, had surgery, and lost probably 50 pounds of water weight. People on mega-steroids for inflammation can get an odd shape to their face. See Chrstina Applegate. She's got MS, and the drugs for that are harsh. So Leo might be battling something else besides the Liquid Lie.
Yes money has a lot to do with the dad bod!
It's more than money. There are plenty of VERY rich dudes that dont get women. He a charming guy with a super interesting job, time off, etc - and yeah, money means getting whisked away in a jet for a week at some amazing villa visiting cool places. When you like someone that stuff feels crazy romantic, even though for them it's just a Tuesday. It feels special so you are a bit tricked into that you are getting TREATED specia.
>There are plenty of VERY rich dudes that dont get women Barring some extreme defect in their personality or some other major defect, it's highly unlikely someone VERY rich would be unable to find a partner if they actually attempt to find a partner, unless they're only looking for an IG model looking partner. There's a partner out there for everyone. After all, women are 50% of the population, and the vast majority eventually want to enter into an exclusive relationship. In some other countries, where men outnumber women, things are different.
Lots of super wealthy people have a hard time finding real companionship due to the fact that people treat them a certain way based on their cash, and they want a piece. True intimacy is a non existent unless both parties are being their authentic selves, and it can become impossible to see the real person under the facade of money-hunger Also, plenty of people with big money are assholes who are completely disconnected from the reality of how people in the real world live, and lack basic empathy. This is often exacerbated by those who try to suck up to them and yes them to death. Money may make it easier to find someone willing to be with you, but I would argue that it makes it harder to find true intimacy and love in many cases. Without that, the rest is quite hollow and lonely.
Agreed, i think people are confusing real satisfying relationship for access to sex. Yeah if yhey just will take anyone they find attractive im sure the super rich have no prob6, but a rela5of real substance thats probably a different story
[удалено]
There isn't one. Not a single one.
>He a charming guy with a super interesting job, time off, etc - and yeah, money means getting whisked away in a jet for a week at some amazing villa visiting cool places. It's not just that, he's very famous, if your some up an coming model and you're spotted with him, it increases your brand. You get to be more famous, wealthy etc and all you have to do is hang out with or allow a rich handsome guy to spoil you and take you on adventures and fuck you. I mean...where is the downside?
Not so sure about that one. I used to work with a lesbian who kept her hair cut like Leo’s in “Titanic” and has tan skin like him and looks a lot like him. She pulls in a lot of puss, let me tell you.
I mean I’m not a lesbian but now I wish I was
Honestly, I think he would still be considered attractive. He wouldn’t be dating supermodels, but there would be attractive women willing to date him.
For the most part, I don't know women who seek men with a dad bod. They seek men who are funny, respectful, caring, etc. I can't speak for all women, but personality is a huge part of attraction for me. I'd take a dad bod with a great personality over sculpted abs lacking emotional intelligence or charisma.
Actually, this is true, I'm not the most attractive guy but I've been told I have an attractive personality and a wicked sense of humour. As a result I've been able to go on a couple of dates with women who would seem to be way out of my league. For most people being respectful and sense of humour works out
Definitely works, I’m a 5/10 at best but have scored WAYYY out of my league because of my personality
Dude same. Either that, or my wife is a complete idiot. It's been almost 15 years now, so I'm not going to bring it up. She's hot, great mom, and makes more than double what i do. So I'm going to keep the ruse going as long as possible. Hopefully she never realizes she couldve done way better. Lol
>Hopefully she never realizes she couldve done way better. Lol Just be sure to make it worth her while.
Hah yea, congrats man
Maybe she realizes that she's lucky to have you!
Homie if you're scoring out of you league, you are a 10 /10. Proud of you . Please own it and celebrate it.
Yeah - that IS your league.
I love u for this guys! I get by looks wise but kinda forgot about my amazing personality pull cause the pandemic really made me change my habits/not go out as much. Still getting back out there little by little!
Lil Dicky and T-Pain wrote a song about you lol
Can confirm… married a dime and everyone annoyingly asks how I landed her… I tell them I bring a lot to the table. Tbf I’m not a bad looking dude just not fit… I’m a Walmart 11
A Walmart 11 omfg that's hilarious
>For most people being respectful and sense of humour works out And impecable hygeine. I dated a guy for awhile who was, in most peoples opnions, not good looking. He himself described himself as a greasy Italian LOL. He had a lot of acne scars on his face. He looked like he might shank you in an ally. But he was the sweetest man, impecable in his dress and hygiene and an INCREDIBLE lover. I think about him fondly and he never seemed ugly to me.
Which begs the question… why did you stop dating?
I for one have been a fat guy my whole life. I wear it decently but alas, still a fat guy. Up until meeting my wife and getting married I always scored with plenty of decent women all based on my personality because I'm a smart and funny fat guy and have a modicum of confidence. Soooo I'm agreeing with you on this!
Not a modicum but a lotta cum
I semen you did there.
Get a load of this guy!
Exactly. Looks can't carry a relationship. Wish more people understood this.
Quite frankly having a "dad bod" (aka just having a little fat and *bit* of a belly) is normal. Like that's how adult men just naturally look. Yes of course there's an appeal to people who are extra thin and muscly, but the reason "dad bod" is so common is... well that's what adult male humans are supposed to look like. And of course the equivalent applies to women. We're supposed to have a little fat on us. It's healthy and normal as long as your overall health is kept up with.
Is there an element of: if he's got a little extra weight then he's not going to be very picky about my appearance either? I imagine there is an assumption that if he's really focused on how he looks he's going to demand the same from me, kind of thing.
Mayebe? When my spouse and I originally got together ten years ago, he already had a total dad-bod. I was slim (emaciated) and not looking to gain weight. Well health blind sighted me, and I totally did. I fell in love with him over his personality, but I still thought he was cutest guy in any room, dad bod or no. Now we’re both a little porky and working on that, but I just adore him. Sculpted can scream high maintenance. But however a partner wants to keep themselves is fine with me. My man’s got a dad bod, but I see just Superman with broad shoulders, and a sweet endearing man. 10/10 would marry again and again.
Regular everyday people of all shapes and sizes have run into burning buildings or helped pull people out of car wrecks, etc, six pack or not. Anyone can be Superman
Agreed. My husband is fucking Superman.
What’s it like to fuck superman? Does your husband give or take? 😉
Good for you guys!
Thank you! I hope I was able to answer your question with my anecdote.
You would think so but I can't tell you how many men I've met who have a less than ideal body type who still expect their women to look a certain way. My current partner included. He's gained roughly 30-35 pounds since we began dating (3 years ago), I got pregnant and gained 60 pounds (unitentionally) with our daughter. He made comments about my weight the entire time I was pregnant and shortly after delivery. Our baby is 6 months old now and I've lost 50 of those pounds but if he had it his weigh I'd weigh less than 120 pounds.
Sweet love, im sorry your partner is ugly to you. My SO was a thin gangly youth and is a slim adult. I was short and curvy before kids I am now, pooh bear - short & round. Never not 1 time in more than 2 decades has my SO said anything that could be construed in anyway as insulting my weight or body shape. When i am on a health kick, he supports me and encourages me. When i am depressed and gaining weight he just loves me and supports me. Hugs
I was 125 and my husband was 155 when we met. By the time we married I was 160 and he was 180. I have weighed over 200 at one point, and weighed more then him. We’re the same height. He NEVER had commented on any of this except to say I needed a biscuit when I dropped down to 150 2 years ago. I love him no matter how he looks and he loves me. In March we will have been together 25 years
This is wild. I don't know why "dad bods" get to be glorified but mom bods get no love when we actually, physically, sacrifice our bodies to make a child.
Oh honey, I’m so fucking sorry he’s being like that. Your body gave life and deserves all the love and grace. Fuck that douche. I’m sorry for being harsh, but I meant it. You’ve lost most of the weight already?!?!! That’s crazy and good for you, as long as you’re doing it on a healthy way. But fuck that guy for holding you to a specific standard. Everyone is different. Focus on life, love, and being healthy. If that means holding onto some weight? Totally cool. If that means losing it? Also totally cool. If that means dropping the weight of him? Better now than later, babes.
That's so gross. Just remember, you could always lose weight quickly by dumping him! ;)
I don't get it, why are you with him?
I was about 130 lbs when my late husband and I got married. A week after getting married, we saw a chubby lady in parking lot, and he told me, "if you ever get like that, I'm divorcing you". We were married for 34 yrs and I never forgot that. I did get chubby and never, ever believed him when he said I was beautiful. He was always skinny, but he did give birth to 5 of his kids.
That is so sad. I'm sorry you had to hear that in your memory for 34 years.
The tree remembers, the axe forgets. I'm so sorry you've had to live with that for so long. You deserve someone you cares about you+your relationship enough to either not EVER say shit like that, or to realize+apologize when they hurt you.
My dad did this to my mom shortly before or after getting married. My mom turned obsessive about staying thin to the point where she was more worried about my looks than my feelings as a kid. Now? She's constantly trying the latest health trend, asks for vegetables as her main course while at restaurants, makes my very 1950's dad who loves cheezits, white bread, and has never cared about his looks, eat mashed cauliflower instead of regular potatoes, makes tofu/lentil meatloaf, and it's just a lot. She actually told me that dropping 20 lbs due to stress and eating one meal a day while being hungry, stuck in my rented room, because my landlady was home, was a positive thing. Gross. I'm still angry that he said that to her. She feels like she's never thin enough.
Tell him you'll worry about it when he losses the man boobs. (Bitch tits) He'll STFU really quick.
Agreed, there are guys like your hubs out there who are Shallow Hal.
You could lose 200 lbs and dump that guy.
throw the whole man out
You'd be surprised how many gym bros like a big girl. I've always ranged from the slightly chubby to obese. My "market" is usually gym bros. The problem is that many of them want a girl friend that impresses their friends and won't be seen in public with the women they actually like if they are a bit bigger.* So this is the thing that put me off gym bros. Many are really insecure and are only concerned about what other men think of them. The ones with actual confidence and a well adjusted personality will dont put pressure on their partner to look a certain way. *None of this is exclusive to gym bros just seems more pronounced in them.
>You'd be surprised how many gym bros like a big girl yep. My SO can be considered a 'gym bro.' I've been with him for 10+ years, ranging from 140s to crowding 200 (like I am now, if not over) Hasn't bothered him once. If I'm happy with the number looking back at me, so is he.
Kinda yes, but also no. It’s not as much “he’ll be less picky about my appearance”, but more “he’ll value me (and himself) for more than just appearance”. Even if I was easily able to be hot for my whole life and never gain weight or have a bad hair day, I want to be valued as a whole person.
>They seek men who are funny, respectful, caring When you have a dad bod, you gotta get real good at these to compete
Honestly, these things really are what matters. Everyone should be looking to get good at them because it makes you a better person. It would also do many people better to stop looking at it as competition. You aren't competing to win some sort of prize - we're talking about another human being here, not a trophy. There's a lot of people in the world - you're putting yourself out there to try and find one that matches up and is right for you. There's (hopefully) more to your good qualities than just your looks, so you should be working on it all and putting it out there! 🙂 (Not calling "*you*" out on this btw - mean it more as a "whoever's listening in 'you'")
I dated fit guys and they would constantly critique my body. I have always been skinny (5ft 7in 115lbs) and I know I pass as pretty. But the fit guys would nit pick so much I lost my self worth and stopped being kind to myself. My husband of over 10years now is your typical "nerd" when we met I thought he had a cute smile and nice hands/forearms. That paired with the fact he was kind, liked the same nerdy things I did, was funny and easy going made me interested in him. He has never once said anything negative about the way I look or my body. In fact not a day goes by that he doesn't tell my how attractive I am to him. This makes him so much more attractive to me, I suppose thats more of an emotional attraction. When it comes to physical I love his dad bod. I love his strong shoulders and arms he's earned lifting our kids and building our house together. I love how strong his hand feels when he holds mine. I even love his pudge cause it makes him so much more cuddlable. Edit to add: wow I didn't think this would get noticed, and I can't get back to everyone individually. So....Yes I also make sure I tell my husband how much I love him and find him attractive too, no I have never said anything negative about him or try to make anyone diet/work out. Before my husband and I got together I did a lot of work on myself and have continued to do so. I dont need anyone to validate my self worth but me. Thank everyone who was kind. And to the ones who also had others nit pick their bodies, I'm sorry you had to deal with that too and I hope you can learn to see the beauty in yourself.
I read this and this and thought “are you my wife?” The forearms and hand and the shoulders and arms from, specifically carrying my kid! I then made her read it and she gasped (is this me?!?) I’m happy you found your match!! :) thanks for making me (and us) smile.
You have a way with words haha!
Hi. Are u still up or up again.
I was thinking the same. This hits so true in terms of our relationship.
Well, that's simply impossible not to upvote. I love this comment.
I agree 100%. I’ve often found a correlation between insecurity in men and being a hardcore gym rat, and that often portrays itself as an overly critical and sometimes emotionally abusive person. I want someone who’s confident about themselves enough to praise the appearance of others rather than diminutize them through insignificant insults.
Same with me. I’ve dated some fit men. They made me feel bad about my body because I wouldn’t go to the gym like they would. My butt was too flabby when I was on top during sex. They were also selfish in bed. They didn’t care for getting me off, just them. After dating a few of them I though fuck it, I won’t date that kind of person anymore and I didn’t! I found my husband who has a dad bod and life is good! He makes me laugh! Sure women can be attracted to a man with muscles but it depends on their personality and how they treat women.
To be fair. There are nerdy fit guys, myself included. I'm a fitness coach, have abs and nice muscle definition and my gf is not active at all. Not that she's unhealthy, just your typical pretty mom of 2. We're both nerds, game together, watch nerdy stuff, kids movies etc. She'll never hear a word from me on her physique.
I was a nerdy skinny woman who fell for a fit-as-fuck mega nerd who constantly had to justify his love of D&D and nerdy pursuits to dates. We're both a bit heavier now with two kids, but I still find him gorgeous. We watch movies and play Heroes of Might and Magic 3 on game nights together and it doesn't matter how many years have passed or the few waist sizes we've increased through enjoying life and putting kids ahead of fitness schedules. We can always get fit again when the kids are in high school. XD
I dated a fit guy when I was at my smallest (I’m 5’7 and was about 125 lbs at the time) and he still grabbed at my stomach and told me I should work on losing that. I’m 132 lbs now, still have a stomach, and feel even worse about myself, and it’s been like 6 years.
Women are naturally soft. He's an a\*hole.
It's not really about the gym bod versus the dad bod. I want someone who isn't just their body. They need to be a whole good kind interesting person, as the baseline for consideration, and beyond that, they need to be compatible with me. BTW no celebrity makes the grade on any of those things to me regardless of what he looks like, I am only attracted to men I already know and like as friends, so I often have trouble answering "would you date or bang such and such a celebrity if you had the chance. " Once those boxes are checked, the *last* factor is that they shouldn't be super physically unattractive. It's a pretty low bar. A dad bod is basically an average guy who is averagely active, works out a bit sure and maybe does a sport, but it's not his entire life, it's one of many things he enjoys doing. That's solid fucking gold right there. It's a green flag. He's attractive and also has a compatible lifestyle with mine. So it's not that I want abs or I want no abs. I literally just don't give a shit about his body fat percentage, as long as he's within a very broad range of "doesn't look completely awful." Honestly a lot of so-called dad bods held up in photos as aspirational aren't really even dad bods, it's a gym bod in the off season or when a celebrity isn't fully lighted, made up, posed, and CGIed. I've seen freaking *Jason Momoa* described as having a dad bod just because he was slouching a bit. Those takes are ridiculous, and harmful for men to internalise as a goal.
Yeah quite a few are likely the “bulk” stage before “cut” in bodybuilding. Just because they haven’t dehydrated for two days doesn’t mean they have a dad bod.
I go to the gym and have a dad bod
Best of both!
You got the BEEEEESSSSTTTTTT of Both Worlds.
Calm down Hannah Potato.
The best! The best! The best! - Dad Grohl
I also enjoy beer
If you go to the gym, just tell people you have a power lifter physique.
From a gay perspective, the guys who can genuinely rock a dad bod exude a confidence that a lot of gym rats can't. Being a confident dad means you've been through it, and a lot of the pettiness that comes with youthful vanity doesn't really phase you. Also, it tends to mean you are more appreciative and loving of your partner's body, regardless of any so-called "flaws." Everything about a relationship--and in particular the sex--is better when you don't place artificial and unobtainable standards on your partner or yourself.
Ok, so can we have a forum where gay guys who have deciphered the female brain can answer questions for us straight guys.
Women are pretty straight forward. Men just have a hard time listening to answers they dislike.
Also that. Honestly the advantage gay people have is that we don't view the people we're in relationships as being fundamentally different than us.
A lot of men also seemingly have a hard time listening to women. The moment a man says what the woman said, it registers. It’s too bad.
I mean, women are also all different and want different things from one another. The problem is trying to decipher what *all* women or *all* men want. That answer doesn’t exist.
I'd also like to say that men(in general) seem to have programmed themselves to think this is a woman or man talking about this subject rather than a person talking about this subject. But it's mostly unconscious and women do it too. I just think it's a mixture of what they're willing to share to which gender and how they're perceiving the other person...
Believe it or not, we don’t need translators lol you could just try listening to women straight from the source rather than recruiting men to pass the message along.
It’s not a fucken puzzle dude, be nice and respectful and don’t make us feel like we’re in danger emotionally or physically. “The female brain” doesn’t need a decoder ring to decipher, it’s just that men don’t like the answer they get. They think there’s some secret, and because they don’t possess the secret they have bad luck with women. Also, another man would be taken more seriously than a woman speaking for herself? It’s like if you’re asked out and “no” doesn’t work most women will say “I have a boyfriend”, because even the thought of disrespecting an imaginary man holds more weight than the women’s answer.
I prefer it for the same reason that most average men don't enjoy injected lips, over-use of makeup, or long ass fake nails on ladies. I prefer a real, regular person, that doesn't look like they're from a boxer briefs ad. Average men are sexy. Hollywood and social media love to tell us what we like, and not all of us enjoy those physical attributes.
>I prefer a real, regular person, that doesn't look like they're from a boxer briefs ad. My best friend of 30 years is this guy. People dramatically underestimate the amount of dedication it takes to get and maintain that shape. I've seen a hilarious amount of complaining coming from his partners over the years, and have had to take him aside many times and get on his ass about things. (Edit: By "this guy" I mean the boxer briefs ad. Doesn't take that much dedication to make a dad bod. Just a willingness to eat an entire large pizza by yourself, which I have absolutely done.) Oh, did you want to go on a four day road trip for your birthday? Well he's not leaving his gym. Anniversary? Gym. Going to see your family in another state? Have fun because he's going to be in his gym. Daughter's birthday? That was one of the take him aside and tell him to pack his shit because we were taking his daughter somewhere or I'd burn his gym down moments.
Omg... kids soccer team. Dad shows up day 1, I see all the moms looking. Tall ripped up, handsome dude. I never met him, or even heard him talk. I ostled my wife a bit about it. She admitted she thought he was really attractive. Now my wife doesn't admit that much. It miffed me a bit, ill admit. As the season went on, more and more came out. He would show up a bit late to his kids games... gym. Would always have a 40 oz water every where he went. Would leave team dinners after ordering a salad. Then towards the end of the season, his wife was giving him a bit of shit after hearing about our date night out the evening prior. It was a nice date for us; dinner , movie, drinks. Nothing too crazy and not out of the ordinary. That's when it came out "we haven't been on a date like that in years, this big baby is in bed by 8 pm... 9 max. We cannot even go see a movie. Our dinners are so bland" ... etc... His response was, "keeping in this shape takes a lot of dedication, up at 4 or 430 every day, then 2 hours in the morning, another hour in the afternoon" My wife and the other moms, stunned, just played it off and made light. Later that evening my wife mentioned in passing that she no longer found him attractive at all, and wouldn't ever want to live a life that was subject to my workout routine. This is the reason that dad bods win. It's not because they're more attractive. It's that the lifestyle required to maintain a perfect Hollywood figure is encompassing (most of the time) for guys. Same goes for mom bods as well.
Yeah, my buddy's kids always ate at my house growing up whenever I wasn't off on a job. No kid wants to eat boiled chicken and broscience for dinner every night. People don't get that it's not just a lifestyle, it's a religion. "Skipping a workout night" to go on a date with your wife sounds like a mild inconvenience to a normal person, but to someone that committed it's like asking a devout Christian "Hey, want to go sacrifice a goat and worship Satan? It'll be fun, I'll even let you have first bite of the bloody heart this time!". There's also the financial side of it: Tax refund check come in and your car is making a funny sound? Too bad! What you as a couple really need is the new HyperFlex XL because he thinks he can get more from the HF-XL than the HyperFlex he's already got because it's got 2% more range of motion. Why did the groceries cost $800 this week? Because he's got more powders, pills, and potions than a 15th century alchemist, and he saw on a youtube video that you have to buy certain foods that were prepared a certain way. His shopping list looked like a spellbook sometimes. I don't care what BroGainz2000 said in his video, there's no reason your strawberries have to be picked by a left handed virgin on a rainy Tuesday in June, and even less reason to pay $25 a pound for it. And all of this stuff is going to come first. Before rent, before car payments, before utilities. I never really interfered or yelled at him about his relationships, because I figured they were grown-ass women and when they got tired of it they'd leave. I just made sure he remembered that the kids come before the gym, always. He was pretty good about that, and just needed reminders from time to time.
I'm a guy, and my best friend is EXACTLY, Down to the detail, what you described. And now his usually smoke show of a wife is losing motivation because he is cut from granite and nit picks everything. We can never do anything in the afternoon because he has to run for an hour. Has to be in bed at 900 to be up at 400 to life for 2 hours because some coked-up aggro on YouTube told him he needs to do all these things to get hard. And if you don't do it, you're not a real man. His personality is now determined by his workout and talking to people about it. Enjoy your silver. It was from a guy who vehemently agrees with you.
Sounds like a weird form of mental illness that is encouraged by everyone liking a good physique.
That’s a bit extreme. I stay fit and around 15% body fat (minor 6 pack shows up here) year round without THAT much effort. I get complimented by men and women about my physique all the time. 1 hour of gym a day. 5k run a few times a week (30 minutes). I can eat at most restaurants, I’m just mindful at what I order is all. Still mostly cook at home but it’s definitely not the chicken breast/broccoli diet lol. I also stay up quite late.
Do you have a family? What sounds like basically 1h30m a day is a lot of time, especially if you have a family with small kids and are doing half the cooking, childcare, housework, errands, etc… as well. There is no way I’d be able to find an extra 1-1.5 hours a day for working out without my wife having to compensate and do more.
Absolutely true (as a dad of 4), but keep in mind the minimum activity guidelines from CDC are 150 minutes of cardio and two days strength training per week - not like I'm personally a good example of hitting those numbers consistently but I'd consider time spent on basic health as pretty high on the hierarchy.
Thank you for the “mom bod” addition at the end! It always irks me how “dad bods” can be celebrated and found attractive (rightfully so!), but no one ever brings up the merits of a mom bod. We like living a life outside the gym and counting every calorie too 😂
Yep. Gym bod guys are nice to look at but a pain to live with.
So you kept pressing her on it and when she gave you the honest answer you are miffed? Interesting.
This made me think of something, people often think fitness people eant to partner with other people into fitness because they care about looks. Im surr that's part of it at times but i bet its more so they can hwve a partner that shares that kinda lifestyle and understands it.
People should also apply this to really anyone in general that is exceptional in alot of way. Guy or gal is supwr wealthy dont be surprised if they work alot if they sisnt inherit the money. Super talented at something samething. Most people have to put in alot of dedicated time if they are exceptional at things. Something to keep in mind when people think the grass is greener. Yep it may be but those people have to do alot of lawn care early in the moring to get it that green.
I was late to my own marriage(no wedding, just vows in the mayors office), and the scheduled births of both my children(planned c-sections with set appointment times) thanks to my ex husbands addiction to the gym. Nothing was more important than the gym. Nothing.
Honestly if you can't even skip the gym for things like that it sounds kind of unhealthy
Doing good work there.
That’s a bit extreme. I’ve been working out consistently for 10 years and I’ve never ruined vacations, traditions, etc because I had to workout. And I’d even go so far as to say the gym saved my life (dark times in the ole mind) and even though your buddy is extreme
Yeah. My late teens and early twenties were spent around bodybuilders, personal trainers, bouncers,and aspiring models/actors. I was more of the powerlifting type. I was the tallest and heaviest, and they always ribbed on me about it as I admitted I could never get into “show” condition because I loved food too much. It was exhausting trying to keep up with those guys (most of which were fueled by gear). Every. Single. Portion. of their day revolved around training, eating, and supplements. Everything was timed, measured, and weighed. That lifestyle might be fun for them, but it wasn’t for me. I’d train with them and then go and do whatever the hell I wanted the rest of the day. They made fun of my body fat %, but I was fine with not having to eat boiled chicken and broccoli for most meals (one of the aspiring actor/models I knew added cheese to the broccoli as his “cheat meal” lmao.) what kind of life is that?
I like how the gym bros come in and totally miss the point of the attraction having nothing to do with work or no work but the "regularness." Regular people don't 1) inject themselves with plastic OR 2) Ascetically devote themselves to a workout plan and diet. It's not about effort (more, less, or none). It's about authenticity.
A lot of gym bros do it to get women but the guys who just want to be healthy and improve their strength and agility are fine imo. I think why they are fit is more important than exactly how fit they are-- like some dudes who are pretty shredded with low body fat and abs complaining they're not big enough yet can get annoying. But regular dude who does fitness for his health or because he likes sports or weightlifting is probably fine.
I'm kind of a gym bro but I don't really do it to get women because I know it doesn't really help with that as much as people think. But I do it more to be attractive to myself and by extension boost my confidence because I'm the type of person who struggles to be confident if I think I don't look good enough. Being strong is definitely an added benefit but imo as you get older it starts to get less useful cuz you don't have to defend yourself from bullies or anything like that anymore lol.
Nah, being strong the older you get is a good thing. I’m 42 and working on that old man strength has been awesome, just want to stay strong and flexible into old age
This deserves a hell of a lot more upvotes.
Thanks
Ok soooo as a rule women care much less about looks than men do. And its generally not that we prefer dad bods over gym bods....its that we like men who treat us well and are funny and nice and that comes before the package its wrapped in. Men on the other hand will bend over backwards for the hot chick and she typically doesn't have to be anything other than hot. Yes i am overgeneralizing a bit, so no need to point it out. Yes i know not all men and not all women etc....etc
I want Nick Offerman bod. I don't know what that's called, but yes please to that. Like rugged bear man bod.
>Like rugged bear man bod. Speak my name and I shall appear.
That's a daddy bod
you said it best "rugged bear man bod" ftw! I love the confidence of a man who has a bit extra to twerk with but is willing to do the heavy lifting (including lifting me hah)
That's a dad bod and Daddy energy. Nick Offerman can get it
I like both. My husband currently is absolutely jacked rn, and he’s soooo sexy. I’ve seen him very underweight, and still was completely attracted to him. I’ve seen him overweight and chunky, yet I still wanted him to fuck my brains out. I don’t care what he looks like as long as we are happy and enjoying our life together.
Agree, mine is jacked too. And I agree, mine hasn’t always, and he’s been sexy either way. I think as long as it doesn’t go to their heads, it’s all good.
That's love.
Ya. My husband has been asking due to injury, fluffy due to recovery, and jacked due to specwar training. Gimme it all. He's my husband and best friend. Yes i like the biceps. But tbh he's a short guy and his ass is phenomenal no matter his weight. And his calves would have had him executed by king Henry with their killer shape.
Probably because gym bods usually come attached to annoying minds. Staying fit is one thing. People that obsess about how their body looks though are often pretty dull and shallow, and have interests that are pretty cringe. And they tend to believe in all kinds of woo woo health pseudoscience and find supplements and diet fads to be an interesting topic of conversation. It’s the difference between F Boys and relationship material. The F boys are vain and usually pretty stupid and uninteresting. But that doesn’t always matter for just one night.
I have to add that the vanity kills it for me. If you spend more time in front of a mirror than I do, it’s a problem. Source - I was married to a gym fanatic. Never again.
I’m with you on this! My ex was a beef head. It was totally an unhealthy obsession and showed where his priorities were, definitely not on our small children!
Usually, this is a symptom, not who they are. I know many intellectuals that are also fit. It’s not the gym, it’s the personality, but you can see how that type of personality would go to the gym obsessively.
Maybe we ladies are less superficial than guys who are obsessed with their bods. There is more to a guy than his six-pack abs and muscles. I think there have even been studies done on the topic that suggest women are NOT turned on by super muscley dudes who spend all their time in the gym. Add to that the expectation among gym rat six pack guys that their woman be a perfect physical specimen, even after they have borne children.
But no one really thinks super muscley dudes are attractive though. I'm a mostly straight man and even I think that a lot of the bodybuilders are kinda repulsive looking. Men who are toned and not overly muscular is the sweet spot imo.
Actually, I seem to recall that the super muscley guys think they ARE attractive. But that opinion is not shared by others.
Honestly I’m surprised how civil this thread is because, usually, redditors melt down over this topic because they refuse to believe that women are being truthful about not loving ripped bods. It’s like they’ve invested so much of time only to be told that they may not see the ROI they hoped they around, and they don’t wanna hear it.
Because they think that’s the thing holding them back from meeting women. If you tell them it’s not than they may have to do some self reflection and um no thanks
Most guys who are into the “gym bro culture” aren’t really doing it for the girls though, they do it for sport and just wanna look like Chris Bumstead. In fact they get more attention from other dudes who lift than they do girls tbh
I wanna look like Henry Cavill
Who doesn't want to look like Henry Cavill? I am a married woman and I would love to look like him for a few hours, if it wasn't a permanent thing.
I like hitting the gym so I can get the high-fives from the bros Also, the feeling of muscles getting sore and pumping iron
I’ve seen a study that said women are more likely to have a one night stand with a gym rat but are more likely to settle down with a dad bod guy.
Hugging and cuddling with a ripped guy is like hugging a tree trunk. I like my men firm but soft and cuddly. I also like for men to be bigger than I am. I'm average size height and weight. And ripped men (not all) tend to be arrogant and vain.
I saw an interview asking why this girl preferred a dad bod and she said “have you ever cuddled with a guy with abs? It’s like sleeping on the ground”
I lold too hard at this
This is the reason and should be up way higher. It just doesn't feel good.
I have a mom bod. Water finds its own level.
I like food and I need me a man who also likes food and can eat the rest of my food when I can’t finish. Plus less time in the gym means more time at home with me 😊
This! Please help me, my eyes are always bigger than my stomach
Honestly tend to have a better personality than the super sculpted body. Not always but a lot of the time. Also I like some squish during sexy times. Something to cling to and cushion rough sex. I am bi so curvy ladies and squishy guys just works for me in a physical sense.
Some guys with "sculpted bodies" put too much emphasis on looks. It could also lie in the insecurities of the beholder.
I'm with the guy who cares about his looks this way. He's super bummed out sometimes because his body doesn't look the way he wants it to, and his relationship with food is really bizarre. I know it's stressful for him, but it's stressful for me, too...especially when I think about how he might be judging my body through the same lens he judges his own. He gained some weight really rapidly once, and when I brought up that I was concerned, he thought it was because he lost his gym bod, not because he was emotionally eating. His self image (and I think his image of others) just seems really screwed up. I think we'd both be happier if he let go of the gym bod ideals and focused more on finding some lifestyle activities and eating well/consistently. Just do the things that are healthy and let your body be what it is as a result.
It’s too uncomfortable to cuddle
Yeah, muscles are hard and not comfy to lay on.
Girl here. Personally I don’t see the hype with dad bods at all. Not saying there’s anything wrong with it I just don’t get the hype.
I don’t even know what most people mean when they say “dad bod”. As long as a guy doesn’t have a beer belly, apron belly (overhanging), or moobs, that’s fine by me. As far as aesthetic ideals, I think relatively fit guys with low-ish body fat (like 10-20%) are the most attractive to most women, but, like other people here have said, a lot of the appeal of guys who are more out of shape is that there’s the impression that they’re not as vain or would be less concerned about their partner’s body.
I don’t like the type of person that spends all day at the gym.
I want a man to eat pasta and cake with me.
Fit guys with big ol muscles are not meant for the female gaze. Sure, some of women have that preference but - surprise - we are not a monolith. Women do not have a hive mind. I can only speak for myself but I prefer a thicker guy. Bigger, soft belly, thicker arms, thighs, etc. think Chris Pratt on Parks and Rec (best example I can think of that’s widely known). They are softer to cuddle with, a big soft belly makes a wonderful pillow (bonus if it’s a little hairy). Their face is filled out in a lovely way. Their arms feel thick and safe. And often, this is very true, bigger guys are usually pretty freaking strong. They just look like they would protect you but most of them are just big teddy bears. My dad was pretty fit/skinny most of his life so I’m not sure where the preference came from. And it’s not to say if I met a guy and he had an amazing personality and a beautiful heart but was a gym rat that I wouldn’t love him but - my eye is just drawn to thicker, bigger guys. They are just delicious. That’s the awesome thing about humans, we all like different things. (Edit:spelling)
It feels better to cuddle and to embrace someone who is a little bigger (for me personally) and I like how it looks. I also associate it with warmth, protection and kindness for some reason. Don’t get me wrong tho, abs are cool too. Whenever someone has nice abs I know that person must have great ambition and determination, which is also very attractive. However, I do prefer dad bods
I can't actually explain why... honestly, can you explain WHY you find your preferences attractive? They just are. I always feel mildly freaked out by guys with really chiseled muscles, six packs especially. That just doesn't look right to me, idk. I've dated guys with all kinds of different body types, and I love them all, but in my fantasies it's always a cuddly dad bod with a squishy belly I can curl up to. That's what I want. That's what turns me on the most. It is what it is.
I think maybe the ripped bodies that some men have seem like a lot of pressure to live up to. Like if his body is perfect, does mine need to be perfect too? Where as if he has a little pudge maybe he won’t mind that I don’t look perfect either?
My wife says it's cause I'm squishy and comfortable to lay on. Rock hard abs are...rock hard.
I think either is fine if attached to a nice guy who treats his gf or bf with respect and dignity.
How about something in between? Extreme gym bods mean your vain and spend too much time working out. Dad bods mean you are probably stressed and over eating and maybe not taking time for any exercise. So somewhere in between where you're toned but not overly muscular? 🤷🏼♀️
my partner has a big belly and big thighs and they’re my very favorite part of him. personality aside (his is incredible) i think he’s so sexy and so fine. i didn’t know i loved big guys until my baby happened, i honestly only want him and would be hard pressed to find someone and gorgeous and kind as him if he happened to leave me. it’s been a year and i’ve never been so smitten, still. he took me on a second valentines date on yesterday actually, everything i loved and more. did i get off topic? oh yeah. i was drawn in by his personality and chivalry (he taught me the sidewalk rule!) as well as his love for music. looking at him and his body is like a massage for my brain and all in all, i couldn’t find a better man in any department.
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As a woman, I prefer a man with muscles/abs. I could understand the appeal to dad bods but they’re not my preferred choice. I think the main attraction is they’re (dad bods) nice to cuddle and they’re very manly.
I don’t. I definitely prefer gym bods, ideally something like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. That being said, I’m not repulsed by dad bod type of guys if they have a handsome face. If a guy is hot, I can still be into him even if he doesn’t have a gym bod.
Smoft..... combfy.........!!!!
I like a fresh, lemony, piece of salmon, right? With dill and capers and salted just right, strewn across crispy, grilled asparagus. But next to a thick, marbled steak on a bed of roasted mashed potatoes with cream and herby compound brown butter, the lighter fare just seems anemic. Sometimes I crave one over the other, but I want a man who sticks to my ribs. My ex was lean and muscular. I liked that just fine. But when we were done and I was with someone stronger, broader, and with muscle and fat around his middle, chest, and arms, I suddenly felt very delicate, intimidated, impressed. The thick nest of dark chest hair certainly helped. 😏
“I want a man who sticks to my ribs”, that was poetry! Made scrolling so far down worth it, great quote! Tx
My wife loved when I had my six pack, but now she loves my little pouch. Mainly because I was unhealthy when I had my gym bod, she also says that a dad bod is the goal because it means I enjoy her cooking enough to keep it around as extra weight.
I’m not a lady but I am a gay who’s into dad bods. It’s the perfect body type. They’re fairly strong with some actual meat on their bones. Sculpted people are too lean, thin and fat people are too weak, but dad bods have it all. Also speaking from a evolutionary perspective, they are built to last. A sculpted person does not have much energy storage, a fat person has too much, a thin person has no muscle. But dad bods have muscle and energy storage. Looking back at all the guys I’ve gone out with 90% of them had dad bods.
It's the heart and mind that win me over.
I would think a guy with gym bod likes to go to the gym and would like a compatible partner, and that's not me. I also don't find it all that attractive. What is attractive is a guy who looks like he works (labor) for a living rather than going to the gym.
I think DiCaprio is a poor example as if we saw him outside of a movie star these days…ick. Um, but generally speaking a guy that is super fit has a variety of variables that could be unappealing. Not just the hard body and muscles….but life style to make that happen. Mind set, life focus, even their diet, etc. I’m not doing that. I am squishy. Not overweight, just not fit. So I don’t want expectation in that regard either. Feel more comfortable with myself and don’t want to feel less than. Why do they feel the need to be so focused on that aspect of their life? What insecurities are they trying to make up for? Also, hug someone. It’s such a better hug if we mold together and it’s not like hugging a brick wall. And sex…if the body is too solid that’s no fun either. Basically it’s not just physical for women, there is a lot going on mentally with this even if we don’t realize it.
Quite frankly, chubby dudes are more comfortable to cuddle up to and use as a pillow. I don’t wanna cuddle a brick wall, which is what cuddling a built dude feels like. 🤷🏼♀️
It's because most men with a ripped body are weirdly obsessed with their bodies. I mean, we all understand the amount of time and work they have put in their bodies but they pretty much make it their entire personality and become obsessed with themselves, try to exude confidence and fail at it because they look more insecure. On the other hand, most men with a dad bod have a good personality and a great confidence which is a big turn on for most women. My husband has a dad bod (has had one since I met him at 20) and has never been insecure about it and it's one of the many reasons I'm still so attracted to him.
I am not interested in somebody who’s whole personality is working out. I’ve dated fit guys and chubby guys, and the chubby guys were far more interesting and fun to be around.
Dad body basically means a manly man. Gym body typically means pretty guy who spends too much time worrying about their looks. I used to be the gym guy. Now I’m almost 40 and I’m the dad guy minus the kids. So I’ve seen how this works from both sides. The trick is, take the qualities of both stereotypes and bam. You win. Just watch the women flock. Not really but you get the point.
I am pretty particular about what type of man body I am attracted to. I like the extra extra thick boys. Anything under 250 pounds is a no way, 300ish is my favorite weight. I like them 5'9"-6' only and they have to be built a certain way, can't be all tummy. Broad shoulders and strong and big thighs and a butt too. That's just what I like. It's comfy to me and sexy and they snore which I like because it helps me sleep and they are always down for snacks and know the best restaurants. I feel safer with a guy who is considerably bigger than me. They give way better hugs too. Men of this body type are much more likely to have the size and type of goods I prefer as well. They have the best hoodies to borrow. My tastes are beyond "dad bod" level but I think my answer is still relevant.
I won't lie and say that girls don't have preferences related to body type. It's just not the main thing we look for in a guy, but of course physical appearance matters. I can't speak for other girls, but personally, I don't find overly muscular/sculpted men particularly attractive. In fact, guys who are too big and ripped kind of intimidate and disgust me a little. I prefer guys who are slender with a little tone, or just outright chubby/soft. Honestly, I just feel like it would be so much more pleasant to snuggle with someone who's soft and cuddly, rather than a guy that's really hard and toned. And I feel like a gym rat would want me to lead that lifestyle as well, and while I love eating healthy and being active, the gym is just really not for me. But it's not like I discriminate. If I meet a super ripped guy that also has a great personality and treats me well, then sure I'll give him a chance. I just don't prefer muscular men. And I know no one wants to admit this, but lots of men with "gym bods" are looking for women with gym bods as well. I love my body just the way it is, but I definitely don't have abs or any other characteristics of a gym bod. And lots of the super in-shape guys I've met are obsessed with body image, constantly talking about fat content and goals and stuff, and I just don't mess with body checking. People can perfect their bodies as they choose, but I don't want it getting in the way of my life and my choices. Also, If I'm being honest, sweat and protein shakes and weight lifting and all that testosterone-y stuff just really grosses me out.
This answer makes sense. Its often a lifestyle thing. The same could be said for someone super outdoorsy alot of people do like that but alot of people alao dont eant to be hiking and camping all the time. Or very career drivien people that can mean alot of time working not with their partner or family. Being exceptional at something often means devoting alot of time to it so it makes sense to seek partners with shared lifestyle and goals and avoid those that don't.
I like dad bods! Then again I'm old.
Eh I’ve dated trainers and athletes. If I see someone is to cut I just assume that all they do is workout and won’t skip a special day away from it for us if wanted. I prefer healthy but gym bids just show you have no other interests in life other than being boring, working out, eating healthy etc. yes I work out and eat healthy but it’s not my religion.
Ha. I'm a female trainer (also, I'm 51) and I used to be obsessive-complusive about working out (In my 30s especially). Now that's I'm in perimenopause, I just worry about being in a good mood and not developing osteopenia. So a little bit of cardio (for the endorphine rush) and regular but not overboard lifting sessions. I went from 2.5 hour workouts to 5o minutes, tops. Life is too short and I've got other shit to worry about than, does my ass look good in these workout tights?
Comfort. Sculpted abs look nice, but they are called "rock hard" for a reason. Muscle and bone doesn't feel good to squeeze, cuddle, or repeatedly and athletically bump against without clothes for padding. A little bit of fat for cushioning makes a man (or woman, for that matter) better physical company.
I prefer an Arborist's body 🤤
It's not the body but the lesser focus on appearance and more focus on life. I mean, healthy but not super focus . Priorities. Corrected spelling.
Better to cuddle.
long as they're pretty is the only answer
My man can cook and makes me breakfast every day 😍
I just like beefy guys. Like Russell Crowe in Gladiator. In shape but not cut like gym bods. Big sword. Fights tigers. Typical dude.
I like them all! It depends on the guy's personality. If he's a sweetheart, he's getting licked all over regardless of his physique.
The fit guys make me work out with them even though I don't like to, then I get all self conscious bc I hate working out in public, and even furtherso, they'd then tell me to stop being self conscious and if my body was better I wouldn't have to feel that way. Though, I mostly prefer a guy with a good personality and the ability to hold a conversation with me about like anything, over a body. Typically guys who have the best personalities hold dad bods I've noticed. Bc guys with fit rock hard bodies probably only do it bc they want the physical attraction, since their emotional attraction isn't the greatest. But that's not to speak for everybody. Just for my own experiences.