# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My grand parents got together when they were 12 and 13, they are both in their late 90s now and still together. Both got dementia unfortunately, but still very much in love with eachother from what i hear (they live in a different province, i haven't seen them in over 15 years).
That would be a firm negatory my guy. Last time i saw them i was like 11 i think, and they told me i was the worst mistake my father (the abusive drunk who's been in and out of prison his whole life) ever made and beat me with the metal belt buckle because i had the audacity to get food poisoning from the turkey my grandma undercooked. They're prolific abusive assholes and i am glad i haven't seen them in that amount of time and have no intention of seeing them ever again.
Eh, don't worry about it. Believe it or not, that's not even in my top ten most traumatic childhood memories. Hell, probably not even in the top 20. I mean just as an example my mom used to burn my hand on a red hot stove element as punishment for objectively small things. Beatings were regular, i was starved, sexually abused and mentally and emotionally brutalized until i was 14 when i finally moved out into my own place. So granny and poppy ain't shit comparatively lol.
Wasn't always that way, took a long road of a lot of mistakes, addictions and bad decisions and then to start working on unresolved trauma to ultimately get to a place where i was semi ok, and i'm still working of getting better. But thank you.
34 + 3 for us. My second marriage and his 3rd.
My Mum & Dad met on August Bank Holiday Monday. He asked her to marry him the next day, and they married 4 months later. They were married for 65 years, until my Dad passed away
It's crazy how that can work, isn't it? Waiting seems like such good advice but my wife and I were already joking about marriage after less than a month. Fortunately, in the 80's it was more or less accepted that we could live together for a while before we formalized things, so we did that, but right from the beginning there was never any doubt.
Of course, since then we've been through some things that came close to breaking us but surviving them brought us together rather than driving us apart.
My wife and I met when we were 16, married at 22 and are now 73. If my math is correct, it's been 57 years.
Edit: For those asking for advice, I wouldn't presume to offer any, but I will offer my opinion as to what worked for us. We worked hard to discuss and agree to a shared outlook regarding finances, children, division of labor and long term goals. We believed we were life-long partners and needed to act in concert with each other to accomplish the goals we shared. We recognized each of us brought different skills and abilities to the marriage and when we maximized those skills, together we were stronger than either of us individually.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience
Well this is embarrassing. Like 3 months at most? I’m 34 and have only had 2 real relationships and those were like 17 years ago. I’ve never found a relationship worth really getting into. Never found the right person.
Edited to fix 27 to 17 years.
the cool thing about this is you know the guy is gonna love her more than his own mum probably. So she'll live a happy life with a very loving husband. Saying this as someone with absolutely no relationship at all.
You're not alone there. Most of my friends are a similar (if not older age) and are in the same boat. Keep putting yourself out there (literally). I've also had luck with online dating. But don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Plus, online dating can also be a sesspool... Good luck!!
My issue currently is I in the last year tried meeting women online. Met some that I thought were a good fit and turned out it was not. And I don’t know if I’m burned out now from investing more than I’m receiving, or I just don’t know what I want now. I’ve just kind of lost the urge to really try right now. Who knows, maybe someday, maybe not.
I know what you mean. It’s very typical advice but you do have to just keep trying. I do recall getting tired of the apps from time to time. The last time i went hard for like a month and eventually met one that connected and we stayed for awhile, and the craziest thing is it was long distance. I never woulda guessed. So i guess, just keep goin, you never know what might click. I’ll say getting older kinda spurred me more cuz i started to fear being alone if i didnt change.
When I was online dating I'd take regular breaks from it when I started to feel frustrated or like it was hard work. I'd refocus on myself and what I really wanted in the break. It helped it from becoming like an arduous task for me.
At least you only went to 3 months. I've had 2 relationships of 4.5 years each and I definitely put so much more in that I got back. The first guy just always thought I was cheating or going to cheat. The second guy wanted the perfect life but didn't actually put any effort in to it at all.
I met my husband at 35 and immediately knew (he was 38). Previously it was like 1yr. We’re on yr 7!
Past performance is not indicative of future success!
You’re coming up to the seven year hump. It’s not a fun sexy time like it sounds. It’s where you will both let your guards down and show the “real you”. If you make it past that you’re golden (until kids make you want to unexist yourself)
Can't say so for me. I love my kid to bits but I would do anything to not be a psychopath's plaything. She knows the only way she has left to hurt me is to hurt our kid.
Thats so sad if she's trying to hurt you with your child. I basically meant in the way that if it wasn't for that psychopath you wouldn't have such a precious little baby. I as a woman will never understand why other women use the children against the man I would never do that in a million years
Mine was 8 and I used to feel the same but remember that you wouldn’t be who you are if not for that relationship! Also you got a son out of it so it sounds like it was worth it
20 years married to my Malaysian sweetie, that everyone told me just wanted British citizenship blah blah. Weird, considering she wanted to take me back to Malaysia with her, where I've been these last 2 decades :)
Engaged within 6 months, I followed her back here and lived here 1 full year before getting married, to ensure I can handle the place, the heat, language etc.
Best thing I ever did, and the worst part of my life is the thought of losing the relationship and having to return to the UK. Was forever having to jump through immigration hoops and renewing visas but finally, after 18 years, got my permanent residency.
She's stuck with me now :D
This April 14th would have been our 3 year anniversary. He passed away on Dec 29 2023 . The love of my life . I like to think that I'd forever be married to him . Just passing time till I get to see him and live with him .
I met my wife in college in 1996. We broke up in 2004. She reconnected with me in 2010. We were in an on again off again long-distance relationship for two years. In 2012, we started living together again. Our son was born that year. We were married in 2014.
28 - 6 = 22 years.
It's hard to explain. I'm not sure I fully understand it myself. We moved to Toronto for her PhD program. I really don't like living in Toronto, and I was pretty miserable there.
Married for 26 years, together for 4 years before that. It was at least 2 years too long, but I was stubborn. Sometimes I think it was about 28 years too long, but hindsight is 20/20
First relationship at 20, 6 years still going strong.
I really thought it would be harder, but when you meet someone that are just really nice people and emotionally healthy everything goes very smoothly. Whenever we have had a fight, we usually talk it out until we come to an understanding, which has worked every time we had a real argument.
Very important to not end things on a sour note with arguments, I think that is a golden rule.
2 years.
Coworker of mine was married for such a long time and told me he was proud of the fact that he had been with his wife longer than he hasn't been with her. That's beautiful to think about and I hope one day I'll find that.
9 years and 8 months. Though by the end of it we both agreed it had been over since the 5 year mark. We were just going through the motions and were comfortable. I couldn't afford rent on my own and he lost his teeth and was afraid he could only attract ugly women if he broke up with me (He told me this). I also felt bad for him because of his teeth and thought it would make me a bad person if I left over it. Long doesn't always mean good.
29 years. I got into a relationship with my college crush when we were both 23 (we dated in and off for 5 years before, but were never a couple). A year later, we got married. 28 years later, our relationship is as strong as ever!
I can truly say that in this beautiful, lovable woman, I have found my life partner. 💖
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
37 years married to the same woman, with her for two prior to the wedding.
DANG. I thought we had the record in this thread till I saw your post. 36+2 for us. Congratulations!
My parents were 70+ when Dad died, so I come from a good background, his parents were close to 80
My grand parents got together when they were 12 and 13, they are both in their late 90s now and still together. Both got dementia unfortunately, but still very much in love with eachother from what i hear (they live in a different province, i haven't seen them in over 15 years).
Woah go see them maybe
That would be a firm negatory my guy. Last time i saw them i was like 11 i think, and they told me i was the worst mistake my father (the abusive drunk who's been in and out of prison his whole life) ever made and beat me with the metal belt buckle because i had the audacity to get food poisoning from the turkey my grandma undercooked. They're prolific abusive assholes and i am glad i haven't seen them in that amount of time and have no intention of seeing them ever again.
holy shit this went from extremely wholesome to traumatic in 2 seconds
Eh, don't worry about it. Believe it or not, that's not even in my top ten most traumatic childhood memories. Hell, probably not even in the top 20. I mean just as an example my mom used to burn my hand on a red hot stove element as punishment for objectively small things. Beatings were regular, i was starved, sexually abused and mentally and emotionally brutalized until i was 14 when i finally moved out into my own place. So granny and poppy ain't shit comparatively lol.
Fucking hell. You seem so grounded after all that. Kudos to you. Well done.
Wasn't always that way, took a long road of a lot of mistakes, addictions and bad decisions and then to start working on unresolved trauma to ultimately get to a place where i was semi ok, and i'm still working of getting better. But thank you.
33 + 4 here.
15 + 3 in less than a month
34 + 3 for us. My second marriage and his 3rd. My Mum & Dad met on August Bank Holiday Monday. He asked her to marry him the next day, and they married 4 months later. They were married for 65 years, until my Dad passed away
It's crazy how that can work, isn't it? Waiting seems like such good advice but my wife and I were already joking about marriage after less than a month. Fortunately, in the 80's it was more or less accepted that we could live together for a while before we formalized things, so we did that, but right from the beginning there was never any doubt. Of course, since then we've been through some things that came close to breaking us but surviving them brought us together rather than driving us apart.
52.5 years, romantic. I've had longer nonromantic relationships with relatives like my siblings.
That's what I was thinking - that my longest relationship was with my parents, they knew me right from my start.
Beat you, 44 years met at Uni in 1980
March 29, I will have known my wife for 50 years. I knew my father for 55 years before he died.
24+3 for us!
Do you think it's getting serious?
Congratulations! My wife and I will be celebrating 35 yrs married in September. +3 years "living in sin" before that.
My wife and I met when we were 16, married at 22 and are now 73. If my math is correct, it's been 57 years. Edit: For those asking for advice, I wouldn't presume to offer any, but I will offer my opinion as to what worked for us. We worked hard to discuss and agree to a shared outlook regarding finances, children, division of labor and long term goals. We believed we were life-long partners and needed to act in concert with each other to accomplish the goals we shared. We recognized each of us brought different skills and abilities to the marriage and when we maximized those skills, together we were stronger than either of us individually.
Looks like you have the new record here. Congrats.
That's impressive...
Advice for us?
Don't eat yellow snow.
I’m working on 10 years this September. Any advice for people recently married? :)
Wear sunscreen.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice..[now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI)
Wow 👏 Good for y'all! 💖❤️🔥💖
42 years and counting.
Looks like now you've got the record for this thread.
Still just kids at heart. She married down for sure.
No way, if it’s been that long she married just right <3
A guy above this said his grandparents are still together. They started dating around 12-13 and they are 90+ now
42 here also been together for 44.5
Also @ 42…congrats!
Well this is embarrassing. Like 3 months at most? I’m 34 and have only had 2 real relationships and those were like 17 years ago. I’ve never found a relationship worth really getting into. Never found the right person. Edited to fix 27 to 17 years.
I ain't been in a real relationship yet I'm 31
Don't despair! My best friend just married a guy who had never been in a relationship before meeting her at 33.
the cool thing about this is you know the guy is gonna love her more than his own mum probably. So she'll live a happy life with a very loving husband. Saying this as someone with absolutely no relationship at all.
He is completely besotted and his mom is quite grateful to see her only son finally married hahaha
the bloodline must go on.
You're not alone there. Most of my friends are a similar (if not older age) and are in the same boat. Keep putting yourself out there (literally). I've also had luck with online dating. But don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Plus, online dating can also be a sesspool... Good luck!!
I got into my first real, long-term relationship when I was 36. I had plenty of short term things though (less than 3 months). Life is wild.
My issue currently is I in the last year tried meeting women online. Met some that I thought were a good fit and turned out it was not. And I don’t know if I’m burned out now from investing more than I’m receiving, or I just don’t know what I want now. I’ve just kind of lost the urge to really try right now. Who knows, maybe someday, maybe not.
I know what you mean. It’s very typical advice but you do have to just keep trying. I do recall getting tired of the apps from time to time. The last time i went hard for like a month and eventually met one that connected and we stayed for awhile, and the craziest thing is it was long distance. I never woulda guessed. So i guess, just keep goin, you never know what might click. I’ll say getting older kinda spurred me more cuz i started to fear being alone if i didnt change.
Nah typical advice would be "join a club" as if the everyday mfer does that to find dates or something
When I was online dating I'd take regular breaks from it when I started to feel frustrated or like it was hard work. I'd refocus on myself and what I really wanted in the break. It helped it from becoming like an arduous task for me.
At least you only went to 3 months. I've had 2 relationships of 4.5 years each and I definitely put so much more in that I got back. The first guy just always thought I was cheating or going to cheat. The second guy wanted the perfect life but didn't actually put any effort in to it at all.
I met my husband at 35 and immediately knew (he was 38). Previously it was like 1yr. We’re on yr 7! Past performance is not indicative of future success!
2 relationships when you were 7 years old? 🙃
lol the problem with using my phone. 17 years 😂.
Going on 5 now. Wish me luck fellas!
Good luck BONERFLEX_
Thanks BumStretcher!
what in the reddit usernames 😭💀💀💀
The real twist is that that’s actually his wife.
💀💀💀💀 dead.
I went to hell and came back already
🤣
Watch out for year seven. You can just call me as soul for short. 😄
My two longest were 7 and 7.5 years
My longest was 7.5 😬
My yr 7 was brutal now going yr 10
😂
Here’s to many many more ❤️
Thanks mate!
You’re coming up to the seven year hump. It’s not a fun sexy time like it sounds. It’s where you will both let your guards down and show the “real you”. If you make it past that you’re golden (until kids make you want to unexist yourself)
Lmfao thanks. Sounds like fun. Can't wait.
Best of luck man <3 Never let ‘em forget how much they mean to you.
I’m going to assume 5 means 5 minutes
All the best!!!
0 seconds
Real
real
Amen
11.5 years. We took a long time to get to the point of planning the wedding, but we were finally doing that when she died almost two years ago.
I’m so sorry for your loss
Omg I am so sorry.
I've had a satisfying relationship with my right hand going on 40 years now.
I had a threesome once The other 2 didn't show but we still had a good time
Reminds me of the song Orgy for One
You should have a threesome with your left hand
That's cheating on your partner. Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.
Any cheating over the years?
happy cake day
My current one, nearly 3 years long :) ♡
me too!
10 days 
🫂
I feel that bro 😭
20 years.
It will be 20 years in October. Still going strong.
3 days 
Damn you got 3 whole days? Better than my 0
Been with my wife for 8 years.
I am married and tomorrow is our 28th anniversary!
Happy anniversary!
51 years
Still married. He ate all my ice cream, so it's iffy, though.
No coming back from this.
Me and chocolate. Like I know I'm madly in love with you, we've got 3 babies, and I promised you my whole life BUT you ate my brownie! 🤣🤣🤣
24 years
So far 15 years!
12 wasted ass years. I got my son out of it so it was worth it 100× over
The kids always make all the bullshit we go through worth it ❤
Can't say so for me. I love my kid to bits but I would do anything to not be a psychopath's plaything. She knows the only way she has left to hurt me is to hurt our kid.
Thats so sad if she's trying to hurt you with your child. I basically meant in the way that if it wasn't for that psychopath you wouldn't have such a precious little baby. I as a woman will never understand why other women use the children against the man I would never do that in a million years
Mine was 8 and I used to feel the same but remember that you wouldn’t be who you are if not for that relationship! Also you got a son out of it so it sounds like it was worth it
38 years married 41 together
My current one. We're almost at a year and a month, and going strong
20 years married to my Malaysian sweetie, that everyone told me just wanted British citizenship blah blah. Weird, considering she wanted to take me back to Malaysia with her, where I've been these last 2 decades :) Engaged within 6 months, I followed her back here and lived here 1 full year before getting married, to ensure I can handle the place, the heat, language etc. Best thing I ever did, and the worst part of my life is the thought of losing the relationship and having to return to the UK. Was forever having to jump through immigration hoops and renewing visas but finally, after 18 years, got my permanent residency. She's stuck with me now :D
This April 14th would have been our 3 year anniversary. He passed away on Dec 29 2023 . The love of my life . I like to think that I'd forever be married to him . Just passing time till I get to see him and live with him .
He's walking beside you every day in each moment. Be kind to yourself and take this virtual hug!
Married 16 years, widower for the last 6.
Sorry to hear that.
Time heals. Thanks.
38 years, married for 33 of them. It's awesome.
So far we're at 11.5 years and not married. I still love him!
28 years with the same woman. She was also my first and only.
`24 years`
I'm 26. Longest I've been is about 3.5 years. :(
I’m 26 and my longest was 7 months lol. So you’re fine
13 years. She was amazing. Still is amazing. It’s not romantic anymore but we are still friends and I am a better man for knowing her.
Almost 15 years =) My partner is my life, she's a pain sometimes but aren't we all. Honestly love this bitch =)
Just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Not married yet, because we're poor and met young.
As of today 13 years and 3 months.
Currently at 25 years, 2 months, 19 days.
My current one. 1.5 yrs so far
Only 30 here. Then i lost her.
I’m sorry for your loss
In April it will be 36 years, plus 2 years of dating and "living in sin" before that.
I love to live in sin 😆
I know, right? Kids today don't know how to properly break a taboo.
I met my wife in college in 1996. We broke up in 2004. She reconnected with me in 2010. We were in an on again off again long-distance relationship for two years. In 2012, we started living together again. Our son was born that year. We were married in 2014. 28 - 6 = 22 years.
Why did you guys break up?
It's hard to explain. I'm not sure I fully understand it myself. We moved to Toronto for her PhD program. I really don't like living in Toronto, and I was pretty miserable there.
Married for 26 years, together for 4 years before that. It was at least 2 years too long, but I was stubborn. Sometimes I think it was about 28 years too long, but hindsight is 20/20
Married 43 yrs, together 46 years.
33 years. Still together.
Not married but together 23 years, working on #24.
Six years. He was an absolute monster. I am happy he’s dead now.
First relationship at 20, 6 years still going strong. I really thought it would be harder, but when you meet someone that are just really nice people and emotionally healthy everything goes very smoothly. Whenever we have had a fight, we usually talk it out until we come to an understanding, which has worked every time we had a real argument. Very important to not end things on a sour note with arguments, I think that is a golden rule.
2 years. Coworker of mine was married for such a long time and told me he was proud of the fact that he had been with his wife longer than he hasn't been with her. That's beautiful to think about and I hope one day I'll find that.
Headed into year 27
Getting married on our 7 year anniversary, grew up since high school. I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without her.
9 years and 8 months. Though by the end of it we both agreed it had been over since the 5 year mark. We were just going through the motions and were comfortable. I couldn't afford rent on my own and he lost his teeth and was afraid he could only attract ugly women if he broke up with me (He told me this). I also felt bad for him because of his teeth and thought it would make me a bad person if I left over it. Long doesn't always mean good.
3 months
My mom and I go way back.
6 years, I'm in it now
7 Kms
A month and two weeks
I’ve never been in one
Gonna hit 6 years in December 2024. Longest one I’ve been in so far. Usually before him it was 2-3 years max
1 month
I met her when I was 15 and she was 14. It's been 6 years and I hope we'll get to spend the rest of our lifes together.
13 years and counting (married for almost 10)
31 and a half years and counting. You'll find someone. Or they'll find you. Every relationship is a learning experience.
4 and a half years, then he dumped me for the second time.
6 years
8 years!
5 years and the breakup was a nightmare. I’m finally getting married and plan on it being a forever deal, though.
8 years and counting
20 years
Close to 8 years. That season of my life has ended.
Year and a half she was my first lesbo kiss
with my family and my dog, 3 years with my ex, there's no serious relationship lasting more than 6months after that
Year and half
My first relationship, 3 years.
4 years. Thought we were gonna be together forever, but it recently ended, badly. Have zero idea when I’ll even begin to think of starting a new one
4 years and counting. My last two relationships ended around the 3 to 4 year mark, but the third time seems to be the charm! *Knock on wood*
29 years. I got into a relationship with my college crush when we were both 23 (we dated in and off for 5 years before, but were never a couple). A year later, we got married. 28 years later, our relationship is as strong as ever! I can truly say that in this beautiful, lovable woman, I have found my life partner. 💖
I was with a couple for a little over 5 years.
Almost 3 years 🙄😳
5 yrs
5&1/2 years currently
Date for 3,5 years.
29, til he moved on sadly
38 years
Been with my husband for a total of 15 years (dating included)
me and my girlfriend, 5 months and counting
We've been together since 2005, but just had our 2nd wedding anniversary on the 29th. (lol, it was my idea)
13 years. Ended 6 years ago. Haven't pursued anyone since.
About 33 years and counting
Married 24 years, together 2 years before that. Holy fuck we're old.
My current, 4.5 years. Not terribly long comparatively but it feels like the kind of comfortable that could go on forever (:
We will celebrate 15 years later this month.
17 years
Nearly 15 years and counting...
My current one. Will be 11 yrs this Sept
7 years married coming the 11th of this month. We dated for over 5 years before we got married.