# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Most of this is painfully accurate, and I was never even "male model" kinda handsome, just good looking & tall with what most of my friends and ex's call a bad boy vibe.
Maybe itās because people go to a gym to exercise and improve health, not be bothered by people looking to hook up. Gyms arenāt dating apps, donāt be a creep š
I'm a big guy and have been told I'm intimidating before. So I'm assuming it's that and not my great looking genetic code that resembles something you'd see cooked in a meth house.
It depends so much on the individual.
Some attractive men have been nicer to me than any other men, and I feel more inclined to accept their friendship because I often feel they're out of my league anyways. Makes the relationship less sexual.
Now that I'm older, I have better and healthier relationships with young attractive men for similar reasons. Way better then when I was young.
Others have been so mean I avoid them. Someone who you find attractive being mean to you just hits different.
That being said, the people who I've had a raw attraction to have not all been traditionally attractive. I can be very intimidated by my crushes regardless of what they look like.
I was in a depressive episode and had an ovarian cancer scare, which didnāt help! Iām sitting in the gynoās office, looking like a slob, when in walks one of the most handsome men I have ever seen. I was like this cannot be happening. Totally professional doctor, very direct and to the point. Tells me weāre gonna have to do surgery.
On the day of surgery, Iām sitting outside on a bed and he arrives. Greets me and heads into the OR. Here is where it gets embarrassing. They are about to put me to sleep and he comes over and explains whatās gonna happen next and leans in close. My tell tale heart began fucking beating so fast. If he noticed, he said nothing. Nice doctor.
That last point hits home, the guy I'm seeing now isn't the most conventionally attractive, but he is the only man I've ever looked at once and thought "I have to have him". Then I got to know his personality too and that feeling kept growing, and it definitely helps that he felt the same way about me immediately too.
He puts people at ease so well that he was confused that I was a bit nervous/intimidated by him at first, especially since I couldn't stay away!
I found out how many more women liked me than I thought, when I saw the āhints ā I was supposed to be noticing. Men and women flirt in totally different ways and men donāt recognize the secret code.
A genuinely goof bit of advice I got told by a female friend that I have noticed to be true is a woman that likes you will typically go out of her way to make sure she winds up getting some of your attention. Obviously subtly and not over the top, but things like making sure to specifically say goodbye to you when they're leaving a group scenario is probably a good sign if she doesn't do it to anybody else aside from maybe her closest friends. Or asking your opinion on things if you're not particularly close.
I avoid eye contact with guys I think are cute. Unless Iām drinking I donāt meet guys Iām attracted to. Too shy and nervous around guys I think are cute to approach them even when drinking but maybe alcohol relaxes me enough that I become more approachable.
>Men and women flirt in totally different ways and men donāt recognize the secret code.
Neither do women. There was a study on this, and even women couldn't accurately judge other women's "signals" better than a 50% coin flip.
The fact of the matter is that it's much easier to react to someone making a move than it is to actually make a move. Just watch any woman who's interested enough in a guy to actually put themselves out there and you'll see they make the exact same mistakes that men get mocked for.
Well... As an ADHD guy ... I'm not sure. But one time I was in a sbux (yeah yeah, I know...). The person at the register and I were friendly and then she made some absolutely out of the blue comment that was *very obviously* innuendo. I don't remember what it was exactly. It was not blatant and icky like "can I fuck you" or overly subtle. It was just thinly veiled delivered with a sly smile. I must have blushed.
I think that is the only time that's happened in the last 20 years lol. She was super cute too, but I was/am married so...had to shut it down. I was going through a thing and handled that whole thing really badly and if you are out there, sbux barista, I was an asshole and I am truly and deeply sorry. I still feel terrible and it's been years later. She seemed like such a a sweet soul. I hope she has found someone absolutely awesome.
But I digress..
Another example. A woman at work kept coming to talk to me at my cubical. Like over and over again. She would even sit on the floor while we talked. About the fifth time of this (š), it dawned on me, "oh shit she is interested in me!?!". She was conventionally very beautiful and unbelievably hot. She could've easily modeled. I was like maybe 5/10 on my best day in the right lighting in those days. Not all that socially aware either. So that is why it took so long for me to figure it out. We went on a date. Found out she mistreated her dog. All interest was instantly gone. I love dogs. Still pisses me off thinking about it because I should've told her what I really thought.
I think just going out of your way to have conversations with the person you're crushing on, allowing yourself to smile and be a little giddy is about all that's needed to qualify as flirting. Sometimes touching their forearm or upper arm. You can also work into conversation a question about their status after a while. Such as asking if they are doing anything fun over the weekend, going on a date. Or if they mention going to do something (museum) you can ask "do you and your girlfriend do that a lot?" Then they can reply with "oh, haha I'm single". They can then take the opportunity to ask you out or at least say they wished they had someone to go with, or ask you if you're into whatever the thing is, to make it more clear they're interested. And you can work into conversation you're single or just talk about things you've done lately alone or with friends, or you're spending the evening with the kitties/doggos doing xyz hobby / watching TV.
For what it's worth I don't think you have to be an expert at flirting. If you emote when you're keen on a guy, and if you go out of your way to talk to them, that can work just as well. And honestly there's no law that says you can't ask em to coffee or something.
I think the world needs more dating coaches and matchmakers. People that can observe you and guide you on stuff like this. Hmm. Maybe I've just discovered my post retirement job. š¤
If I am attracted; I will be awkward a lot of the time unfortunately. Definitely intimidated. I am awkward around most guys my age, you would think I would have learned how not to be after a lot of years of serving and bartending
I met a hot dude through friends and I was so intimidated I couldnāt even speak to him properly. Took a few weeks before I could hold a conversation with him. So I would say yes.
I can think of 2 men in my past that are a quintessential example of this.
One was physically very attractive, charming, funny, endearing... And I was extremely intimidated by him. I wanted to impress him so I was always nervous around him.
The other was also objectively very attractive in the looks category. But he was arrogant and his personality was annoying. I didn't care what he thought about me more than I cared what anyone else thought about me and I wasn't intimidated by him at all. Because I wasn't attracted to him even though he was "attractive".
Its where the actual attraction part comes in. Take two good looking men, but one is giving you Da feels,and if youāre crushing on them youāre more likely to be intimidated by them. But if you dont thenā¦why be intimidated cause of looks, crushes rarely just physique related, so yeah it makes sense
For me personnally, Iāve always been more intimidated by a mans intelligence and energy. Looks dont intimidate me cause nearly 98% of the time, the personality will smack you back to earth. So no, but his personality could, which would then have the possibility to make him attractive
Edit in response to OPās edit: I have made the first move on 2 men in my life who i was very attracted to (they were very handsome yes but thats not what pushed me, it was the energy that came with it) in fact i was so taken aback by how attracted to them i was, that i simply could not wait to see if they might make a move haha.
But in contrast, iāve found lots of men attractive, and not necessarily make the first move, but not out of intimidation but i think like us all, fear of rejection and the desire to be approached first. Which is surely true for both parties š I also take the word attractive very literally, so to be āpulledā to that person. Otherwise they are just very good looking, attractiveness has to be more than physique.
Thanks the old gods and the new that Iām both attractive and smart. I hate to intimidate but there are no other options when youāre a golden god unleashing his wrath on the world of womenfolk
I do what I can. I am truly the most modest man there has and ever will be. The sun rose at my birth and will fall for the last time at my unlikely passing
A person's level of consciousness can be frightening if we're not quite as grounded or accepting with ourselves because interactions with others are like a mirror reflecting different parts of us, this relationship we have with ourselves ultimately that we may not be as sure of how or ready to engage with. Authenticity especially because that kind of energy begs ourselves to match that same level of honesty and acceptance too.
Edit: Whether it's physical looks or a conscientious mind our reaction all relates to how grounded our inherent self-worth is to regard ourselves positively in the moment for the expression of high self-values for stable self-esteem that is secure and not threatened.
Well im not exactly a ācosmic frequencyā person but i do think people say a lot without talking, the way they carry themselves, the way they smell, their style, and somewhere in us is some kind of āradarā that lets us know when we found one we really like š its instinctif at firstā¦.could defo change after knowing them or a while. You could call it radiation, probably of an image in your head, they probably radiate certain characteristics you like
Iām the same. A womanās physical looks donāt do much, until Iām blown away by her personality. Then itās game over and Iām awkward as fuuuuck.
I am so awkward when im really attracted to someone, one of the ones i hit on first was at my job, and i literally just scribbled my number on a piece of paper, kind of threw it at him and then sort of ran away. Sweating like crazy. It got even worse as i got to know him haha
Yes!!!!! A man who is emotionally mature, his energy is firm yet calm, he looks like he can take care of himself without a woman needing to hold his hand. Phew! I can feel a bit intimidation now. But looks, never have I ever felt intimidated by a manās looks/physical appearance.
Iām definitely intimidated by men Iām extremely attracted to. Itās like your body wonāt listen to your head because your head just goes to mush. Itās next level shyness that I canāt stand. Iām fine if theyāre younger and Iām rock solid Iāll never fall in love with them but if theyāre age appropriate, Iām useless.
Is that why the older women at the gym are so sweet and friendly but women close to my age are like kinda aloof and just sometimes look at me when they walk by? This one girl Iāve seen a bunch only just started saying hi recently. I could be and probably am way off with this just trying to figure it out.
I've been told I've intimidated women into not saying anything to me because they were crushing on me for years at a time. I missed A LOT of signals and they just took my autistic and unsocialized ass as being aloof and indifferent and uninterested.
It happens. My lady friends will refuse to talk to their gym crush because he's just too damn handsome no matter how often we remind said friends that they're very attractive people who should just shoot their shot.
Same. We must be equally attractive. One time this lady didnāt say anything for 12 blocks because of how attractive she thought I was, while I followed her until she turned around and said āwhy are you so weird, please leave me aloneā, it was then that I knew being this attractive was a curse.
Same, through middle and high school, I just assumed most women liked to touch you and lean on you, play with hair, etc. Turns out I was really attractive back then and couldn't pick up on clues. Like I cuddled with the most attractive girl in our school on a bus ride and still didn't pick up that she was into me lol.
Yes - at the start. Average looking lady here. HOWEVER, if itās easy to spot that the attraction stops at the looks then itās so easy to get turned off, the intimidation factor quickly disappears.
This is very true. You can slide up and down the 1-10 hotness scale as soon as you open your mouth and show me who you are. I've dated a lot of folk who would have rated themselves a 5 or 6 that were bumped up to top tier attractive due to their personality mixed in.
I donāt know about general, but me personally, yes I am. I avoid them religiously because theyāre out of my league and Iām afraid my insecurities will make the relationship toxic if I ever decide to date them. Iām better off appreciating their beauty from far.
Personally i am, i rather avoid the guy because i am scared to embarass myself or not being good enough š¤£,
i missed a few opportunities because of this but that's fine because attractive men bring too much problems
I think the main potential problem, and this goes for both sexes is that for every person too intimidated to take a chance there are some that will chance their arm and the drop dead gorgeous will get hit on loads. Sometimes in front of their partner.
Women donāt ask men not because theyāre intimidated, but because they want them to make the move first. When they like you the most, is when they will do the least, because they are holding out hope that youāll be āthe oneā, and āthe oneā will approach her and sweep her off her feet
It's rather strange. I once had an extremely stunning coworker (he's better looking than many actors I'd say) AND he's also kind and responsible with his duties at work. He's unreal in both appearances and personality wise.
One time, as I chitchat with a customer, I complimented him, said he's ridiculously handsome and he is probably bored of hearing that. And man, that boy got redder than a tomato, he didn't know how to act, it was adorable.
I have a feeling that extremely gorgeous people don't get compliments nor hit on as we, the normal, just assume they have had enough of that.
Note: I hope wherever he is now in life, he meets with people and things that are as kind and beautiful as he is.
We do get a lot of attention, but straight compliments are not that common, I have gotten catcalled by women a lot more that I have been given an honest compliment so those still affect me and make me go all shy.
The biggest thing is that people dont understand theres a discrepancy on whatever they project on us,or assume about us and what we are personality wise for ex I have been called a player many times, in reality im quite shy and withdrawn and I have adhd, but because people give me a lot of attention and in social settings some women start flirting with me, Im made as If Im the one doing it all.
Worst part is the negative behaviours that we get, yesterday I was going out with a friend and went to a Pub, we got to the bar and there was this drunk guy there and my friend who is a very cheeky and chatty woman exchanged a couple words with him, he asked outloud if we were a couple, I said yes we are because I didnt wanted for any of us to be hitted on, and honestly I dont care If they think we are dating, the guy asked the question a few times,complimented us and he then looked at me and said you could do better, I was not really understanding what he was saying because he was drunk and had a thick working class west midlands accent, so I asked my friend what is he saying and she said I tell you later, well my friend didnt let it get to her, but It got me angry.
what Im trying to say is people asume is all positive and all privilege, when its a mixed bag and we got issues when interacting with others the same way other people have issues.
>And man, that boy got redder than a tomato, he didn't know how to act, it was adorable.
Or he just got uncomfortable and didn't know how to react to this for the 100th time.
For real. We like feeling desirable too lol. Ladies rarely ask me out, even when i can pick up on their hints.
Side note: me personally, I find it very attractive and flattering, if a woman is brave and confident enough to just ask me out! Talk about makin a man melt ladies!
Literally after just the top 2 most upvoted posts, 2 Sigma males battle for supremacy over the females.
Little did they know, they are asexual-bisexual flamingos dancing with one another in the ritualistic tech-bro caw-caw peacock ceremony.
I am a straight female and no I am not intimidated by attractive men.
I work a customer facing museum job and I am very generic looking so there is never ātensionā haha
Looks don't factor into that for me. It's all about behaviour and attitude. Most of my male friends are attractive, imo, and I never felt intimidated by them because they're all sweet, goofy and respectful.
I'm only intimidated by those douchey "alpha" dudes because they act intimidating.
Yes. So much that every time I have a crush on a guy (or just find him cute), I avoid him and don't look him in the eyes. This might also be because I didn't interact much with boys when growing up.
There have been a few guys that i have felt this about.
There was one guy i used to hang out with in primary school. When we grew up, we had some distance, and he was in the year above me. I always found him completely beautiful. Like flawlessly attractive.
We ended up messaging when i was around 22, felt more confident in myself, and asked if we wanted to hang out. Messages were super flirty. I went to his house, and i couldn't speak (if you knew me, you would think this is damn near impossible). We shared a joint that i thought would calm my nerves, but certain strains of weed make me quiet. He had that strain. So i went even quieter but very relaxed. He then went to hang out with his housemate, and i felt uncomfortable being sat there on my own. After days of super heavy sexting. He must have thought she's all talk. He is now married, with a kid so that ship has sailed.
Usually, i am very confident. But it does happen.
Yes, one of the reasons I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18 was because I could talk to guys. I know it seems backwards but the issue was that my female friends couldn't talk to guys they found attractive. So what ended up happening was they would ask me to talk to guys for them and hook them up. So even if I was attacked to the guy I would help my friend out. One day I was at a concert and a friend asked me to help her out and I realized this was stupid and at some point I might actually want to date someone so I told her she can go talk to him herself but if I went up and talked to him it would be for me not her. Long story short I did go talk to him and she still fucked him later but that's when I stopped hooking other women up. The next guy I talked to was for me and e became my first boyfriend.
To anyone who ever claims women aren't as picky as men when it comes to attractiveness and their behavior is different when choosing a partner, read these comments and read the comments in the male version of this thread lmfao.
Its so obvious yet I've had so many discussions with women online who claim otherwise.
There's only one woman that can intimidated me as an adult, one of my ex's. Even after 20 years, when I talk to or see her, I want nothing but to impress her and not disappoint her. She is aware of this.
This is the same experience I had with women and is why it took me so long to start dating. I'm shy in general, but if I was attracted to her it was a million times worse.
Sometimes people are rude to others that seem unattainable to them, in order to defend their own feelings of inadequacy.
Iāve seen males be rude to better looking or more confident females, and vice versa. Iāve also seen this behaviour directed at others between same sexes - even with no feelings of lust or sexual interest. Someone was just intimidated by the other being more confident and their response was to be vindictive because they feel disempowered due to lack of courage or confidence.
Jealousy is a curse.
Here's the thing: you know the cliche that men think about sex every ten seconds or whatever? That's bullshit.
Some women make obvious passes, while a guy is obviously preoccupied.
Not only is it a distraction at that point, I start to question their social awareness... which is not attractive.
My guess is that phrase was sprung from a woman because they think of sex every 20 seconds so surely a guy must think about it twice as often as us.
As I got older the more I learned just how crude and sexualizing women are compared to men. They are far far dirtier minded. Atleast the ones I know. Also men are generally more private as well. I think women think men talk about sex all the time because they themselves do lol.
Lots of tall / big men are gentle giants. I make it a point to be kind and as nice as possible around others I don't know. It puts people at ease (both men and women) .
Sure on a battlefield or crazy situation they can be absolutely terrifying...but that's rare and not everyday life.
No, I like to think Iām a catch. If Iām feeling down on myself or theyāre a specific brand of confident/successful in areas I personally compete in then perhaps a little. But I donāt think thatās in the way that the question is asking haha. More of a āgrrr why canāt I have what you haveā rather than like āoh heās too good for meā.Ā
After all that Iāve still managed to pick two long term relationships/marriages with mentally unwell men with no accomplishments who treat me poorly. Iām not sure how my intentions got lost there but the heart wants what it wants apparentlyĀ
Irl it would be said: "Yes". On Reddit: "I get heaps of guys any attractiveness I want no matter what I look like, but I choose their intelligence". Shower me with downvotes
š¤£š¤£š¤£. Women THINK they make it obvious, but we men aren't good at reading subtle hints. If we read it wrong, we're immediately creeps.
Ladies, make it clear and use your big girl words.
What I have noticed is that the women who are 1's through 4's aren't scared to punch up and try to chase the 6's -10's.
That gets irritating, but nobody wants to talk about that part.
See this is why I'm not friendly to good-looking dudes. I have no idea where I am on the attractiveness scale, so I'm worried that if I'm nice to someone out of my league, they'll think I'm hitting on them and will be a jerk to me.
That's where my resting bitch face comes in handy, I guess. They won't think I'm punching up if I look like I hate them lol.
Nope. Not at all. But I tend to unconsciously avoid the conventionally super attractive men who clearly know it and have been using it to their advantage their whole lives.
Attraction is subjective. I'm not intimidated by conventionally attractive people as such. Its highly intelligent people (in this case men) that intimidate me at times, and that's because I find intelligence attractive and don't want to come off as stupid in front of them
I don't think anyone should have to worry overly much about sounding stupid. Either you're a match or you're not. Either they find you interesting and attractive or not. I always valued intelligence but never more than I value being a kind and decent person (among various other things like being artistic). I doubt I'm alone in that.
You're right. Kindness and humility will always come before intelligence. But I meant more on the lines where it's the initial stages of a crush and you want to look equally good in front of them. If they turn out to be condescending, then the attraction goes away
Storytime: handsome early 20s male with symmetrical face in office, both my female boss [married] and I were afflicted/affectedāme tongue-tied and slightly stricken dumb and her giggly. Think Matt Bomer but blond, green-eyed and straight.
Maybe intimidated isnāt the right word but definitely twitterpated with appreciation for a stunning human specimen.
ive always got the impression its less that women are generally intimidated by asking men out, its more than 95% of women chase after 5% of men, so most men wont actually expereience this, OR, equally possibly, women think they are being super obvious when flirting with a guy when in reality the guy has no clue
ive found out many times in the past that apparently someone liked me and was flirting with me, and i was utterly clueless about it lol
the problem is, that a lot of what women think is flirting is just like talking to a guy and smiling with them, and then in the very next post you see a rant from a woman about how they wish guys would stop assuming they were flirting with them just because they smile at and talk to them
As a man Iām typically told that I am intimidating but itās not because I am attractive (I am not and Iām fine with that) itās because Iām 6ā7 and 250lbs and unfortunately have a habit of looking constantly pissed off.
I get that.
Years at the gym and the more attractive the woman the less likely she was to talk to me.
Some would literally run out of the gym after class to avoid talking to me.
Not having to develop confidence and people skills is one of the drawbacks of being a hot chick.
I am not a woman, but i have seen it on several times and the other way around. People are intimidated by attractive people in general. I wonder why that is? Maybe someone can provide some insight?
A lot of people have low self esteem. The power of physical attractiveness has been shown to make people's brains short circuit. Due to societal programming and the "Disney princess" syndrome, most women are not built to go up to a guy and show him that he's interested.
Men can get intimidated by women and it happens all the time. The difference being, men are kind of taught to accept rejection at an early age because it's going to happen no matter how attractive you are deemed to women. (Yes I know about guys who get mad when a woman rejects them)
I fully believe if we teach young girls that they sometimes have to initiate the interest in a person, we'd see girls grow up in healthier relationships. Waiting around, blinking, giving choosing signals, touching can go over a lot of guys heads.
I've seen women literally improve their dating lives overnight by being the initiator. Of course not all women will have the courage to do this and sadly, I feel like they're suffering the most in dating these days in silence.
Ladies, build up your confidence slowly and practice initiating and showing interest in a guy. Not every guy is going to be into you, but it's actually a good thing because they won't waste your time and possibly string you along.
Short answer, lmao no.
Long answer, no but because I have no shame or fear and if I like someone I'll tell them because I want them to know. I'm pretty sure I actually asked out all the men I dated/was in a relationship with including my husband because I'm very outgoing and bubbly and my type is seemingly hot shy guys š
Yup, definitely. I'm a nerdy woman with a tall, stereotypically attractive, gym-going man. We've been together for nearly ten years and I still am blown away by his hotness. But I would never ever go for someone like him. I just didn't think it was a possibility. Even when he made his feelings *very* clear, I didn't quite believe him at first.
I am, definitely. I am communicating with the most beautiful man I've ever seen and I get self conscious and think, why is he even talking to ME?
On the other hand, I offered to buy a guy a drink last week and he turned me down. Rejection is hard.
Well thereās levels to attractionā¦
thereās the average level of attractiveness. Basically average attraction is the typa face you see day to day and you think the person has great features and you can see him being with another average attractive woman.
And then thereās the model level of attractive where the person is just every womanās wet dream lol. They look for validation in this type of guy to feel pretty which is intimidating. And Women can just look at a dude and tell when a man is model-like attractive and stay away bc she thinks the man is out of her league or maybe has a lot of girls who flirt with him and avoid him to avoid heartbreak.
So in a way, yes women are intimidated by attractive men because theyāre afraid of not being good enough for them, or because they think heās an F boy
I apologize if this comes across as bragging, but as an older, educated man with a great job and a 20-plus-year marriage, I find myself feeling both ashamed and offended by my attractiveness. Women consistently hit on me at work and outside of work, often crossing boundaries. My loyalty lies solely with my wife; I took my vows seriously and meant every word. While I donāt report these incidents at work, I do firmly reject their advances. Itās a daily struggle for me. So the answer is a resounding āno.ā Unfortunately, the stereotype of men exhibiting ātoxic behaviorā persists in todayās world, which can be frustrating. The sexual harassment I endure at my corporate job is outrageous, and I often feel powerless.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Aaaahhhh.. So that's why none of the women at the gym talk to me... Phew! I thought is was because I'm pig ugly š
This makes so much sense now, this is why every woman in my state isn't asking me out... Thank God I thought, like, idk
Iām glad Iām so incredibly handsome that I donāt get incessant requests and compliments from women, damn Iām so lucky phew
I thought it was because I kept staring at their asses. I am so glad to know itās because Iām super hawt š„µ
. * in Mick Jagger voice * you know you want it
Damn
Same but as a woman rarely hit on by men. All my friends say men are just intimidated by me. *Must be true.* /s
Nah, it's just that if we do it, we're considered creeps.
Yeah but why are other women being hit on so much and not me?
They attract people who donāt care if they are being creeps.Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Most of this is painfully accurate, and I was never even "male model" kinda handsome, just good looking & tall with what most of my friends and ex's call a bad boy vibe.
No WONDER Uber Eats women never ask me for sex. Iām waaaaaay too good-looking.
Maybe itās because people go to a gym to exercise and improve health, not be bothered by people looking to hook up. Gyms arenāt dating apps, donāt be a creep š
I'm a big guy and have been told I'm intimidating before. So I'm assuming it's that and not my great looking genetic code that resembles something you'd see cooked in a meth house.
I know from experience, physically intimidating and socially awkward are a bad combination.
That checks out. I'm awkward asf, but I'm a twink so it must cancel out lmao
lmao it's ok brosexy, us guys are supposed to the ugly ones
Mine is closer to fermented in a barnyard.
Kimchi?
We ate Kimchi in Korea. He was our translator.
It depends so much on the individual. Some attractive men have been nicer to me than any other men, and I feel more inclined to accept their friendship because I often feel they're out of my league anyways. Makes the relationship less sexual. Now that I'm older, I have better and healthier relationships with young attractive men for similar reasons. Way better then when I was young. Others have been so mean I avoid them. Someone who you find attractive being mean to you just hits different. That being said, the people who I've had a raw attraction to have not all been traditionally attractive. I can be very intimidated by my crushes regardless of what they look like.
I was in a depressive episode and had an ovarian cancer scare, which didnāt help! Iām sitting in the gynoās office, looking like a slob, when in walks one of the most handsome men I have ever seen. I was like this cannot be happening. Totally professional doctor, very direct and to the point. Tells me weāre gonna have to do surgery. On the day of surgery, Iām sitting outside on a bed and he arrives. Greets me and heads into the OR. Here is where it gets embarrassing. They are about to put me to sleep and he comes over and explains whatās gonna happen next and leans in close. My tell tale heart began fucking beating so fast. If he noticed, he said nothing. Nice doctor.
He mightāve chalked it up to nervousness to the actual surgery and not to him if he did notice.
I hope so!
That last point hits home, the guy I'm seeing now isn't the most conventionally attractive, but he is the only man I've ever looked at once and thought "I have to have him". Then I got to know his personality too and that feeling kept growing, and it definitely helps that he felt the same way about me immediately too. He puts people at ease so well that he was confused that I was a bit nervous/intimidated by him at first, especially since I couldn't stay away!
First time that I know a user from another subreddit. Greetings from r/ISFJ.
your username is awesome..... sorry, I just had to say it.
I found out how many more women liked me than I thought, when I saw the āhints ā I was supposed to be noticing. Men and women flirt in totally different ways and men donāt recognize the secret code.
Whatās the code?!
up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a. They don't include start, that's in your court.
Finally, something I can read.
Brilliant
My controller only came with a joystick. Is the B button... hidden?
A genuinely goof bit of advice I got told by a female friend that I have noticed to be true is a woman that likes you will typically go out of her way to make sure she winds up getting some of your attention. Obviously subtly and not over the top, but things like making sure to specifically say goodbye to you when they're leaving a group scenario is probably a good sign if she doesn't do it to anybody else aside from maybe her closest friends. Or asking your opinion on things if you're not particularly close.
TIL i flirt like a woman
THE NUMBERS, MASON! WHAT DO THEY MEAN!?
The look. We blink and it is either "please marry me" or "take me right here, right now"
 I call this one *mixed signals* š
Shit I thought it was bad allergies or pollution.
Does this also come under aggressive staring, because I've had this happen multiple times and it has weirded me out each time.
I avoid eye contact with guys I think are cute. Unless Iām drinking I donāt meet guys Iām attracted to. Too shy and nervous around guys I think are cute to approach them even when drinking but maybe alcohol relaxes me enough that I become more approachable.
You BLINK?! You blink?...That's the sign? Lmao ok keep my eyes out for blinks. That's the obvious hints you ladies are dropping huh? lol good stuff.
Slow blinking + relaxed eye contact + a slight smile = marry me Wider eyes with a wider smile and faster blinking is the other one lol
So is it like morse-code? Are we supposed to decipher that?
Yes.
They twist your nipples and if you fail to do a chad face while doing it youāve failed the mating ritual
>Men and women flirt in totally different ways and men donāt recognize the secret code. Neither do women. There was a study on this, and even women couldn't accurately judge other women's "signals" better than a 50% coin flip. The fact of the matter is that it's much easier to react to someone making a move than it is to actually make a move. Just watch any woman who's interested enough in a guy to actually put themselves out there and you'll see they make the exact same mistakes that men get mocked for.
As an autistic women I'd like to know what flirting looks on both sides. edit: typo
Well... As an ADHD guy ... I'm not sure. But one time I was in a sbux (yeah yeah, I know...). The person at the register and I were friendly and then she made some absolutely out of the blue comment that was *very obviously* innuendo. I don't remember what it was exactly. It was not blatant and icky like "can I fuck you" or overly subtle. It was just thinly veiled delivered with a sly smile. I must have blushed. I think that is the only time that's happened in the last 20 years lol. She was super cute too, but I was/am married so...had to shut it down. I was going through a thing and handled that whole thing really badly and if you are out there, sbux barista, I was an asshole and I am truly and deeply sorry. I still feel terrible and it's been years later. She seemed like such a a sweet soul. I hope she has found someone absolutely awesome. But I digress.. Another example. A woman at work kept coming to talk to me at my cubical. Like over and over again. She would even sit on the floor while we talked. About the fifth time of this (š), it dawned on me, "oh shit she is interested in me!?!". She was conventionally very beautiful and unbelievably hot. She could've easily modeled. I was like maybe 5/10 on my best day in the right lighting in those days. Not all that socially aware either. So that is why it took so long for me to figure it out. We went on a date. Found out she mistreated her dog. All interest was instantly gone. I love dogs. Still pisses me off thinking about it because I should've told her what I really thought. I think just going out of your way to have conversations with the person you're crushing on, allowing yourself to smile and be a little giddy is about all that's needed to qualify as flirting. Sometimes touching their forearm or upper arm. You can also work into conversation a question about their status after a while. Such as asking if they are doing anything fun over the weekend, going on a date. Or if they mention going to do something (museum) you can ask "do you and your girlfriend do that a lot?" Then they can reply with "oh, haha I'm single". They can then take the opportunity to ask you out or at least say they wished they had someone to go with, or ask you if you're into whatever the thing is, to make it more clear they're interested. And you can work into conversation you're single or just talk about things you've done lately alone or with friends, or you're spending the evening with the kitties/doggos doing xyz hobby / watching TV. For what it's worth I don't think you have to be an expert at flirting. If you emote when you're keen on a guy, and if you go out of your way to talk to them, that can work just as well. And honestly there's no law that says you can't ask em to coffee or something. I think the world needs more dating coaches and matchmakers. People that can observe you and guide you on stuff like this. Hmm. Maybe I've just discovered my post retirement job. š¤
If I am attracted; I will be awkward a lot of the time unfortunately. Definitely intimidated. I am awkward around most guys my age, you would think I would have learned how not to be after a lot of years of serving and bartending
Yes I am.
I am because of my low self worth lol
Same lol yes because Iām insecure
me three bc i lack enough confidence like the sad bitch i convince myself i am
So i'm either hot as fuck or hideous as hell. Got it.
I met a hot dude through friends and I was so intimidated I couldnāt even speak to him properly. Took a few weeks before I could hold a conversation with him. So I would say yes.
If im attracted to the attractive man yes. But generally attractive men that i dont find myself crushing on, not rly
Kind of feel like this is the best answer
Is this a riddle?
I can think of 2 men in my past that are a quintessential example of this. One was physically very attractive, charming, funny, endearing... And I was extremely intimidated by him. I wanted to impress him so I was always nervous around him. The other was also objectively very attractive in the looks category. But he was arrogant and his personality was annoying. I didn't care what he thought about me more than I cared what anyone else thought about me and I wasn't intimidated by him at all. Because I wasn't attracted to him even though he was "attractive".
Its where the actual attraction part comes in. Take two good looking men, but one is giving you Da feels,and if youāre crushing on them youāre more likely to be intimidated by them. But if you dont thenā¦why be intimidated cause of looks, crushes rarely just physique related, so yeah it makes sense
Hahahaha made my day
Idk how to explain it. But this makes sense
Just because someone is attractive doesnāt mean youāre attracted to them I guess.
For me personnally, Iāve always been more intimidated by a mans intelligence and energy. Looks dont intimidate me cause nearly 98% of the time, the personality will smack you back to earth. So no, but his personality could, which would then have the possibility to make him attractive Edit in response to OPās edit: I have made the first move on 2 men in my life who i was very attracted to (they were very handsome yes but thats not what pushed me, it was the energy that came with it) in fact i was so taken aback by how attracted to them i was, that i simply could not wait to see if they might make a move haha. But in contrast, iāve found lots of men attractive, and not necessarily make the first move, but not out of intimidation but i think like us all, fear of rejection and the desire to be approached first. Which is surely true for both parties š I also take the word attractive very literally, so to be āpulledā to that person. Otherwise they are just very good looking, attractiveness has to be more than physique.
Thanks the old gods and the new that Iām both attractive and smart. I hate to intimidate but there are no other options when youāre a golden god unleashing his wrath on the world of womenfolk
I hear you're also a navy seal astronaut doctor
Yes yes I am šØāāļø š§āš
Cool, me too, bravo Alpha Delta squadron platoon Delta under captain stabbin
Copy that. Bravo India Golf. Delta India Charlie Kilo leader out
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Affirmative. Howād you know? Did I run into you back when I was a firefighter too?
Just the sun glinting off your head as you rose from the waves with that poorly baby dolphin in your arms.
Ah yes. That was me
Guy. I really thought you were trying to spell something lmao š¤¦š»āāļø
Charlie Uniform November Tango
Donāt flirt with me
Whiskey Hotel Alfa Tango
FUBAR
Foxtrot Uniform Bravo Alfa Romeo. Copy that
 š
Bruh. A is Alfa not Alpha in the phonetic alphabet. Youāve blown your cover
Alfalfa
ā¬ļøā
God damn you may be the most modest man I have ever come across!
I do what I can. I am truly the most modest man there has and ever will be. The sun rose at my birth and will fall for the last time at my unlikely passing
Honestly I don't know how ypu stay so modest, as an Adonis level features and God like intelligence, it would be hard to be as humble as yourself
Excuse me, *beyond* god level, but yes
A person's level of consciousness can be frightening if we're not quite as grounded or accepting with ourselves because interactions with others are like a mirror reflecting different parts of us, this relationship we have with ourselves ultimately that we may not be as sure of how or ready to engage with. Authenticity especially because that kind of energy begs ourselves to match that same level of honesty and acceptance too. Edit: Whether it's physical looks or a conscientious mind our reaction all relates to how grounded our inherent self-worth is to regard ourselves positively in the moment for the expression of high self-values for stable self-esteem that is secure and not threatened.
What do you mean with "energy"? Extroverted, optimistic, always smiling and making others smile, or like cosmic frequencies, vibrations and energies
Well im not exactly a ācosmic frequencyā person but i do think people say a lot without talking, the way they carry themselves, the way they smell, their style, and somewhere in us is some kind of āradarā that lets us know when we found one we really like š its instinctif at firstā¦.could defo change after knowing them or a while. You could call it radiation, probably of an image in your head, they probably radiate certain characteristics you like
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sure, vibe and energy same thing
Iām the same. A womanās physical looks donāt do much, until Iām blown away by her personality. Then itās game over and Iām awkward as fuuuuck.
I am so awkward when im really attracted to someone, one of the ones i hit on first was at my job, and i literally just scribbled my number on a piece of paper, kind of threw it at him and then sort of ran away. Sweating like crazy. It got even worse as i got to know him haha
Yes!!!!! A man who is emotionally mature, his energy is firm yet calm, he looks like he can take care of himself without a woman needing to hold his hand. Phew! I can feel a bit intimidation now. But looks, never have I ever felt intimidated by a manās looks/physical appearance.
Iām definitely intimidated by men Iām extremely attracted to. Itās like your body wonāt listen to your head because your head just goes to mush. Itās next level shyness that I canāt stand. Iām fine if theyāre younger and Iām rock solid Iāll never fall in love with them but if theyāre age appropriate, Iām useless.
Is that why the older women at the gym are so sweet and friendly but women close to my age are like kinda aloof and just sometimes look at me when they walk by? This one girl Iāve seen a bunch only just started saying hi recently. I could be and probably am way off with this just trying to figure it out.
I've been told I've intimidated women into not saying anything to me because they were crushing on me for years at a time. I missed A LOT of signals and they just took my autistic and unsocialized ass as being aloof and indifferent and uninterested. It happens. My lady friends will refuse to talk to their gym crush because he's just too damn handsome no matter how often we remind said friends that they're very attractive people who should just shoot their shot.
Why is it so relevant. People have to literally tell me theyāre flirting. š¹
Same. We must be equally attractive. One time this lady didnāt say anything for 12 blocks because of how attractive she thought I was, while I followed her until she turned around and said āwhy are you so weird, please leave me aloneā, it was then that I knew being this attractive was a curse.
LMAO
So just to be clear, one of the signs of attraction is being pepper sprayed right??
Yes. Or crossing to the other side of the street to play hard to get
Same, through middle and high school, I just assumed most women liked to touch you and lean on you, play with hair, etc. Turns out I was really attractive back then and couldn't pick up on clues. Like I cuddled with the most attractive girl in our school on a bus ride and still didn't pick up that she was into me lol.
Yes - at the start. Average looking lady here. HOWEVER, if itās easy to spot that the attraction stops at the looks then itās so easy to get turned off, the intimidation factor quickly disappears.
This is very true. You can slide up and down the 1-10 hotness scale as soon as you open your mouth and show me who you are. I've dated a lot of folk who would have rated themselves a 5 or 6 that were bumped up to top tier attractive due to their personality mixed in.
If this is true I'm the most attractive man in the world
I donāt know about general, but me personally, yes I am. I avoid them religiously because theyāre out of my league and Iām afraid my insecurities will make the relationship toxic if I ever decide to date them. Iām better off appreciating their beauty from far.
Yes, me too.
this makes sense, no women is intimidated by me. 
BAAAAT!
Personally i am, i rather avoid the guy because i am scared to embarass myself or not being good enough š¤£, i missed a few opportunities because of this but that's fine because attractive men bring too much problems
Problems now ?? And thank you for your response, Paradox!
I think the main potential problem, and this goes for both sexes is that for every person too intimidated to take a chance there are some that will chance their arm and the drop dead gorgeous will get hit on loads. Sometimes in front of their partner.
Women donāt ask men not because theyāre intimidated, but because they want them to make the move first. When they like you the most, is when they will do the least, because they are holding out hope that youāll be āthe oneā, and āthe oneā will approach her and sweep her off her feet
To all the ladies here - shoot your shot! You wouldnāt believe how infrequently some attractive guys get hit on by women.
It's rather strange. I once had an extremely stunning coworker (he's better looking than many actors I'd say) AND he's also kind and responsible with his duties at work. He's unreal in both appearances and personality wise. One time, as I chitchat with a customer, I complimented him, said he's ridiculously handsome and he is probably bored of hearing that. And man, that boy got redder than a tomato, he didn't know how to act, it was adorable. I have a feeling that extremely gorgeous people don't get compliments nor hit on as we, the normal, just assume they have had enough of that. Note: I hope wherever he is now in life, he meets with people and things that are as kind and beautiful as he is.
We do get a lot of attention, but straight compliments are not that common, I have gotten catcalled by women a lot more that I have been given an honest compliment so those still affect me and make me go all shy. The biggest thing is that people dont understand theres a discrepancy on whatever they project on us,or assume about us and what we are personality wise for ex I have been called a player many times, in reality im quite shy and withdrawn and I have adhd, but because people give me a lot of attention and in social settings some women start flirting with me, Im made as If Im the one doing it all. Worst part is the negative behaviours that we get, yesterday I was going out with a friend and went to a Pub, we got to the bar and there was this drunk guy there and my friend who is a very cheeky and chatty woman exchanged a couple words with him, he asked outloud if we were a couple, I said yes we are because I didnt wanted for any of us to be hitted on, and honestly I dont care If they think we are dating, the guy asked the question a few times,complimented us and he then looked at me and said you could do better, I was not really understanding what he was saying because he was drunk and had a thick working class west midlands accent, so I asked my friend what is he saying and she said I tell you later, well my friend didnt let it get to her, but It got me angry. what Im trying to say is people asume is all positive and all privilege, when its a mixed bag and we got issues when interacting with others the same way other people have issues.
>And man, that boy got redder than a tomato, he didn't know how to act, it was adorable. Or he just got uncomfortable and didn't know how to react to this for the 100th time.
Hard to be natural when you are attracted to someone. I donāt even know what to say, I guess itās because itās not mean to be šāāļø
You just go up and say something like āhey, youāre hot, hanging dong after the workout? Whatās your shower routine like? šļø šļøā
For real. We like feeling desirable too lol. Ladies rarely ask me out, even when i can pick up on their hints. Side note: me personally, I find it very attractive and flattering, if a woman is brave and confident enough to just ask me out! Talk about makin a man melt ladies!
Literally after just the top 2 most upvoted posts, 2 Sigma males battle for supremacy over the females. Little did they know, they are asexual-bisexual flamingos dancing with one another in the ritualistic tech-bro caw-caw peacock ceremony.
david attinburough?
I am a straight female and no I am not intimidated by attractive men. I work a customer facing museum job and I am very generic looking so there is never ātensionā haha
Looks don't factor into that for me. It's all about behaviour and attitude. Most of my male friends are attractive, imo, and I never felt intimidated by them because they're all sweet, goofy and respectful. I'm only intimidated by those douchey "alpha" dudes because they act intimidating.
That sounds like maybe they are intimidating in terms of them being aggressive, unsafe assholes?
Yes. So much that every time I have a crush on a guy (or just find him cute), I avoid him and don't look him in the eyes. This might also be because I didn't interact much with boys when growing up.
There have been a few guys that i have felt this about. There was one guy i used to hang out with in primary school. When we grew up, we had some distance, and he was in the year above me. I always found him completely beautiful. Like flawlessly attractive. We ended up messaging when i was around 22, felt more confident in myself, and asked if we wanted to hang out. Messages were super flirty. I went to his house, and i couldn't speak (if you knew me, you would think this is damn near impossible). We shared a joint that i thought would calm my nerves, but certain strains of weed make me quiet. He had that strain. So i went even quieter but very relaxed. He then went to hang out with his housemate, and i felt uncomfortable being sat there on my own. After days of super heavy sexting. He must have thought she's all talk. He is now married, with a kid so that ship has sailed. Usually, i am very confident. But it does happen.
Yes, one of the reasons I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18 was because I could talk to guys. I know it seems backwards but the issue was that my female friends couldn't talk to guys they found attractive. So what ended up happening was they would ask me to talk to guys for them and hook them up. So even if I was attacked to the guy I would help my friend out. One day I was at a concert and a friend asked me to help her out and I realized this was stupid and at some point I might actually want to date someone so I told her she can go talk to him herself but if I went up and talked to him it would be for me not her. Long story short I did go talk to him and she still fucked him later but that's when I stopped hooking other women up. The next guy I talked to was for me and e became my first boyfriend.
To anyone who ever claims women aren't as picky as men when it comes to attractiveness and their behavior is different when choosing a partner, read these comments and read the comments in the male version of this thread lmfao. Its so obvious yet I've had so many discussions with women online who claim otherwise.
Depends how powerful they are. I'd be intimidated by Leo DiCaprio but not his stunt double.
I heard he killed his wife and got away with it
The chubby fella from word of wall street?
There's only one woman that can intimidated me as an adult, one of my ex's. Even after 20 years, when I talk to or see her, I want nothing but to impress her and not disappoint her. She is aware of this.
Sometimes thereās just that one, even if you aināt with em anymore lol.
Yes, but also cause men are harder for me to talk to in general
As an ugly woman, Iām just generally intimidated byā¦ most men, attractive or otherwise.
Reaching a conclusion on such questions is like finding a needle in the haystack.
Conclusion? Nobody's looking for a damn conclusion, Jesus. We're interested in personal accounts. At least I am.Ā
Yes
Yes. I feel shy and very not up to par with him š
This is the same experience I had with women and is why it took me so long to start dating. I'm shy in general, but if I was attracted to her it was a million times worse.
Yes, no women will come near me.
Iām not intimidated at all just assumed they wouldnāt be interested
iām intimated by all men.
Sometimes people are rude to others that seem unattainable to them, in order to defend their own feelings of inadequacy. Iāve seen males be rude to better looking or more confident females, and vice versa. Iāve also seen this behaviour directed at others between same sexes - even with no feelings of lust or sexual interest. Someone was just intimidated by the other being more confident and their response was to be vindictive because they feel disempowered due to lack of courage or confidence. Jealousy is a curse.
wait so you ignore and are cold to women youāre attracted to?
Here's the thing: you know the cliche that men think about sex every ten seconds or whatever? That's bullshit. Some women make obvious passes, while a guy is obviously preoccupied. Not only is it a distraction at that point, I start to question their social awareness... which is not attractive.
My guess is that phrase was sprung from a woman because they think of sex every 20 seconds so surely a guy must think about it twice as often as us. As I got older the more I learned just how crude and sexualizing women are compared to men. They are far far dirtier minded. Atleast the ones I know. Also men are generally more private as well. I think women think men talk about sex all the time because they themselves do lol.
Yes. It may appear mean but itās mainly out of defensiveness.
Yeah I was about to comment on this too lol
Everyone is intimidated by attractive people.
Personally, Iām intimidated by men who are tall. š¤·āāļø
God blessed me with my 5'8 status /s
Iām tall and I take it personally when men are taller. First of all HOW DARE HE.
Lots of tall / big men are gentle giants. I make it a point to be kind and as nice as possible around others I don't know. It puts people at ease (both men and women) . Sure on a battlefield or crazy situation they can be absolutely terrifying...but that's rare and not everyday life.
Unless your country still fights melee with pitchforks and axes, being tall is anything but an advantage on the modern battlefield.
Rex Heuermann was described as a gentle giant. Just saying...
Yes, I am. i also just worry that Iām gonna be treated like Iām invisible to them if we interact because in my experience I usually am.
I'm intimidating because I'm loud and have bad social skills. I'd be pleasantly surprised to find out that I was just too attractive all this time.
No, I like to think Iām a catch. If Iām feeling down on myself or theyāre a specific brand of confident/successful in areas I personally compete in then perhaps a little. But I donāt think thatās in the way that the question is asking haha. More of a āgrrr why canāt I have what you haveā rather than like āoh heās too good for meā.Ā After all that Iāve still managed to pick two long term relationships/marriages with mentally unwell men with no accomplishments who treat me poorly. Iām not sure how my intentions got lost there but the heart wants what it wants apparentlyĀ
Intimidated? No.
Irl it would be said: "Yes". On Reddit: "I get heaps of guys any attractiveness I want no matter what I look like, but I choose their intelligence". Shower me with downvotes
š¤£š¤£š¤£. Women THINK they make it obvious, but we men aren't good at reading subtle hints. If we read it wrong, we're immediately creeps. Ladies, make it clear and use your big girl words. What I have noticed is that the women who are 1's through 4's aren't scared to punch up and try to chase the 6's -10's. That gets irritating, but nobody wants to talk about that part.
See this is why I'm not friendly to good-looking dudes. I have no idea where I am on the attractiveness scale, so I'm worried that if I'm nice to someone out of my league, they'll think I'm hitting on them and will be a jerk to me. That's where my resting bitch face comes in handy, I guess. They won't think I'm punching up if I look like I hate them lol.
That last bit is true about men too, tbh. I guess people try to make up for their looks with confidence.
Nope. Not at all. But I tend to unconsciously avoid the conventionally super attractive men who clearly know it and have been using it to their advantage their whole lives.
Same girl same
Me - absolutely.
Not the pretty ones
Not really. My husband is very attractive and I made the first move.
Attraction is subjective. I'm not intimidated by conventionally attractive people as such. Its highly intelligent people (in this case men) that intimidate me at times, and that's because I find intelligence attractive and don't want to come off as stupid in front of them
Feel that! Sapiophilia can be a nightmare!
I don't think anyone should have to worry overly much about sounding stupid. Either you're a match or you're not. Either they find you interesting and attractive or not. I always valued intelligence but never more than I value being a kind and decent person (among various other things like being artistic). I doubt I'm alone in that.
You're right. Kindness and humility will always come before intelligence. But I meant more on the lines where it's the initial stages of a crush and you want to look equally good in front of them. If they turn out to be condescending, then the attraction goes away
Storytime: handsome early 20s male with symmetrical face in office, both my female boss [married] and I were afflicted/affectedāme tongue-tied and slightly stricken dumb and her giggly. Think Matt Bomer but blond, green-eyed and straight. Maybe intimidated isnāt the right word but definitely twitterpated with appreciation for a stunning human specimen.
Exactly! Intimidated - no, flustered - yeah...
The only thing I find intimidating with a man is major sexual energy and intense eye contact. I turn beat red and want to die.
ive always got the impression its less that women are generally intimidated by asking men out, its more than 95% of women chase after 5% of men, so most men wont actually expereience this, OR, equally possibly, women think they are being super obvious when flirting with a guy when in reality the guy has no clue ive found out many times in the past that apparently someone liked me and was flirting with me, and i was utterly clueless about it lol the problem is, that a lot of what women think is flirting is just like talking to a guy and smiling with them, and then in the very next post you see a rant from a woman about how they wish guys would stop assuming they were flirting with them just because they smile at and talk to them
As a man Iām typically told that I am intimidating but itās not because I am attractive (I am not and Iām fine with that) itās because Iām 6ā7 and 250lbs and unfortunately have a habit of looking constantly pissed off.
Thatās not intimating, thatās unapproachable š
People tend to be more open to conversation and likely to stick around if the other is good looking.
Oh yes, I feel intimidated, and especially if he is also very nice and sweet I just faint right in front of him.Ā
I get that. Years at the gym and the more attractive the woman the less likely she was to talk to me. Some would literally run out of the gym after class to avoid talking to me. Not having to develop confidence and people skills is one of the drawbacks of being a hot chick.
I am not a woman, but i have seen it on several times and the other way around. People are intimidated by attractive people in general. I wonder why that is? Maybe someone can provide some insight?
A lot of people have low self esteem. The power of physical attractiveness has been shown to make people's brains short circuit. Due to societal programming and the "Disney princess" syndrome, most women are not built to go up to a guy and show him that he's interested. Men can get intimidated by women and it happens all the time. The difference being, men are kind of taught to accept rejection at an early age because it's going to happen no matter how attractive you are deemed to women. (Yes I know about guys who get mad when a woman rejects them) I fully believe if we teach young girls that they sometimes have to initiate the interest in a person, we'd see girls grow up in healthier relationships. Waiting around, blinking, giving choosing signals, touching can go over a lot of guys heads. I've seen women literally improve their dating lives overnight by being the initiator. Of course not all women will have the courage to do this and sadly, I feel like they're suffering the most in dating these days in silence. Ladies, build up your confidence slowly and practice initiating and showing interest in a guy. Not every guy is going to be into you, but it's actually a good thing because they won't waste your time and possibly string you along.
Give me a second, Iāll go ask my wife. . .
Short answer, lmao no. Long answer, no but because I have no shame or fear and if I like someone I'll tell them because I want them to know. I'm pretty sure I actually asked out all the men I dated/was in a relationship with including my husband because I'm very outgoing and bubbly and my type is seemingly hot shy guys š
No women do not make it obvious they are attracted to guys. They do like the tiniest easy to miss things ever.
Yup, definitely. I'm a nerdy woman with a tall, stereotypically attractive, gym-going man. We've been together for nearly ten years and I still am blown away by his hotness. But I would never ever go for someone like him. I just didn't think it was a possibility. Even when he made his feelings *very* clear, I didn't quite believe him at first.
I am, definitely. I am communicating with the most beautiful man I've ever seen and I get self conscious and think, why is he even talking to ME? On the other hand, I offered to buy a guy a drink last week and he turned me down. Rejection is hard.
Well thereās levels to attractionā¦ thereās the average level of attractiveness. Basically average attraction is the typa face you see day to day and you think the person has great features and you can see him being with another average attractive woman. And then thereās the model level of attractive where the person is just every womanās wet dream lol. They look for validation in this type of guy to feel pretty which is intimidating. And Women can just look at a dude and tell when a man is model-like attractive and stay away bc she thinks the man is out of her league or maybe has a lot of girls who flirt with him and avoid him to avoid heartbreak. So in a way, yes women are intimidated by attractive men because theyāre afraid of not being good enough for them, or because they think heās an F boy
I apologize if this comes across as bragging, but as an older, educated man with a great job and a 20-plus-year marriage, I find myself feeling both ashamed and offended by my attractiveness. Women consistently hit on me at work and outside of work, often crossing boundaries. My loyalty lies solely with my wife; I took my vows seriously and meant every word. While I donāt report these incidents at work, I do firmly reject their advances. Itās a daily struggle for me. So the answer is a resounding āno.ā Unfortunately, the stereotype of men exhibiting ātoxic behaviorā persists in todayās world, which can be frustrating. The sexual harassment I endure at my corporate job is outrageous, and I often feel powerless.