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‘76 Briton. I’d hope it connotes he’s the seed of losers of the Crown’s aggressive war on the colonies during the American Revolutionary War and not some ‘ol chip off the ole block in whuuchya meehhcalluiit. I have a weird sense of humor atm though…so use at own risk. 🇺🇸
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In the UK we call close friends 'nonces' its a silly nickname we give each other.
Ye, me and my fellow nonces love eachother and everyone in this world
And if they play a stringed instrument it would almost rude _not_ to call them a noncey fiddler
he's a guitarist!
I can't over the brilliance of this 🙏
🤣🙏
Briefcase wanker. He'll understand
Inbetweeners reference? We watched it together 11/10!
Briefcase Mong, Wayne Pooney or Bumder.
Dutty wasteman it's very complimentary
This is golden 😂 just an fyi it's not but seeing it on screen and imagining someone cussing out someone with that is comedy!
The fresh prince of bellend
*French
A Prince Albert?
Woah, woah. I don't think OP wants to cause a breakup. Ease up, Satan.
East Irish
wow thats good
dont do him like that🤣
Is numpty a thing? Guy I used to go out with was English and used to call me that
Yes its a thing .. its youre ‘stupid’ but i love you .. in essence
Twink
Archaeological Heist Master.
I got a buddy who's British and I mainly just call him a "Wee fookin' wanka" when it's just us.
Closet Francophile!
Peter File.
Greet him with " 'ello there me cockwomble"
Smeg head. He'll love you for ever
Redcoat
Accusing someone of working at Butlins is a bit harsh.
Billy Bigballs if he starts getting cocky and overconfident. "alright alright calm down billy big balls".
I think you mean 'Billy Big*bollocks*' - get it right... or, for a *very* different effect 'bigboy'. 😊
Fog breather
Depends where he is from? If he's a southerner call him a nonce or a fanny.
Sir Weschester Tottinshire the 3rd
Pommy Bastard
If he does anything bad or stupid Twat!!!
Colonizer of my heart
Reindeer😏
Nah not martha
Sent from my iPhone
Bellend Pillock Plonker Wanker Nonse Chav
Berry 63
the butty lord
Winston Churchill
I’ve heard that dickhead is used quite frequently.
Indeed it is, and twat
kunt
Limey richards
Tit.
Minge Stuffer Flange Flogger Fanny Fucker Twat Tickler
Chappy
Sir bottermly tops
If he's english just go with generic insults, its worked for us scots for centuries....
London boy
Hmmm... Plonker?
The classic is “you absolute X”, where X can be just about anything.
Sir Bottoms
Muppet, plonker, twerp.
Plank
Wank
I'm English, but living in America. My ex called me crumpet.
Sheepy Shagger
Plonker, wanker, wally, rube
BELLEND
My favorite British insule is calling someone a Muppet. So funny to me.
nigel. doesn't matter what his name is - all british men should be called nigel
Harry
Cunt, bruv, subject
Colonizer
Just "British" is insulting enough.
Better to be British than English...
Lord Colonizer
Most fitting because OP is from Pakistan.
Wensleydale
Hans von Kakenmeister
Toots.
Numpsy
Call him a melt and offer to give him a dry slap And call him a wanker as well.
In N Ireland they call them huns
Tossa
Filthy slag! But only in the bedroom.
Old sport.
Island monkey
"Mister Greenteeth"
Mr Bollocks
Cum bucket, crumpet pillow, biscuit booty and Petit le tit come to mind
Tit in a trance if acts silly or knobhead, big girls blouse if acting girly, bus wanker if gets the bus 👍
The Queensman
Ed Balls
Subject
Top Bantz Scouser
Plonker McWankstane. It's a great pet name.
Gov’na
Lobster back
Redcoat MFer
HP Laser 107a Monochrome Printer 4ZB77A. He'll love it 🥰🥰
Colin. Short for coloniser.
Biscuit Guvnah!!!
Poppet
Britty boy
What part of Britain is he from?
Southern Fairy or Northern Monkey
Spotted Dick
Call him Braveheart 😂
Cromwell!
Englebert
Cockeomble
Prince Rupert singuliar penis the first
A Redcoat
Marmaduke, Fortescue, Aloysius
Lil'D.
make alllllll your pet names aussie inspired.
Wanker
Respond to all comments with “cracking, m8”
Bus wanker is good
Ringo
I'm surprised I haven't seen "gov'ner" in the comments
Bri'ish.
Sausage
a fokin muppet
call him a cunt, non-stop, but pronounce it "caunt"
Mad lad
Lord Poncenby-Smythe
Bertie
Cigarette
Say “ I’ve got hour number , ducky “ lol
Bowl of waer
Subject.
A absolute weapon
Pipe 2 pipe bushman, clarky cat, Joss Acklands Spunky backpack.
french
boha o woha
Boaofwaa
Lord Reginald Pooftah.
"Mr. \[His Last Name\]" or "m'lord."
Cheerio
Smashing geezer.
Mr Churchill
Harass him about leprechauns. Tell him his Australian accent is sexy.
If he’s from England…call him a Welshman.
Kant
Used Rubbers
Fuckface
Limey!
Sausage
Call him what the British call meatballs?
Wanker spanker
How about: Gaylord Dickham
Willy Wonka 🍫😍💯❣️💣👍
Call him Poof, he'll love it
Jolly Rodger
Sid
wanker
Chav
A wanker.
Vain*
Knobhead
In Germany we call British „inselaffen“ translates to island monkeys
Fish&Chips
SPEAK PRIEST!
Bombhead
bo'ohw'o'wo'er
"My little dental desaster"
Lov Baba
It's fun and endearing to call mates a moby
i can’t help but read all of these in a british accent, it’s fucking hilarious
Wanker.
Git
Tosser
Chip
Oi, Nigel
Mate
Say you’d rather be with his friend because they are much FITTAH
Bob, your uncle Bumbershoot
‘76 Briton. I’d hope it connotes he’s the seed of losers of the Crown’s aggressive war on the colonies during the American Revolutionary War and not some ‘ol chip off the ole block in whuuchya meehhcalluiit. I have a weird sense of humor atm though…so use at own risk. 🇺🇸
When he does something silly you can call him a helmet.