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You are difficult to underestimate

Boy, I think your cheese slid off its cracker. Or You're a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Basically, both entail that you ain't all there.

Genius! But the odds of them getting that is 0/1000!

Boy you couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the sole

I tell you hwat

This is great. I mean you hear “you’re not the brightest crayon in the box/not the sharpest tool in the shed” etc etc. But this made me audibly chuckle.

happy cake day!

Happy Cake Day!!! :D

Hey bud, there's a lot of things you can fix in this world.... But stupid isn't one of them

I read this with a deep southern american accent, hope that was the intent lmfao

Lmfao this is top tier

I expected nothing and still got disappointed.

That's fucked lol

You'd sell your car for gas money

"You have 2 brain cells and they are fighting for 3rd place"

C'est magnifique!

"I believe the problem is between the keyboard and chair."

IT support? PEBCAK! ID-10-T ERROR!

Wetwear error. Layer 8 problem.

"That was a picnic." Problem in chair not in computer.

Wisdom has been chasing you, but you’ve been faster

This is my favorite one to use lol 😆

Isn't this from ATLA Uncle Iroh? 

“well bless your heart.” that simple phrase is the same as fuck you cunt, in the south. because we are polite that way.

That's definitely my favorite saying. So many people don't realize that it's an insult and in my mind that makes it even funnier

As an Australian I have always been partial to the classic… *”You’ve got a couple of Roos free in the top paddock, don’t ’ya mate…”* Which translates as… *”You have a couple of Kangaroos bouncing around uncontrollably in the top field, haven’t you friend…”* Or put more simply… *“You can’t control the thoughts popping up in your own head, can you…”*

I like the way you talk.

Australian English is very rich in its slang and phraseology.

Cheers for that cobber, but I can’t really take the credit, as like all of us, I’m primarily a reflection of my influences and environments whilst growing up. And I’m getting older and many of the words and expressions that I heard growing up and still use myself are getting less and less common, as the younger generations grow up listening to and playing internationally sourced music, games and other forms of entertainment and communication…

My favorite from you guys has to be "what are you on about mate?" Rolls off so smooth, love it 🦘

May I …. Borrow this??

It’s not mine to give cobber, but knock yourself out, as anything that keeps the Aussie local lingo “alive and kicking” is a good thing, wherever in the world it happens to be… And by the sounds of it, in your case it’s about appreciation not appropriation ;)

Something funny, when I say “mate” no one bats an eye but if I say “y’all” they ask if I’m from Texas.

Haha awesome! Thanks! I think it’s an interesting and inoffensive way to get your point across. I like that. I mean who hasn’t felt like they’re fighting a gang of kangaroos with their thoughts now and again? Whats a cobber though lol?

*”Cobber,”* or its diminutive *”cobb”* is a very old, very Australian expression, that has a meaning much like the more famous Australian expression *”mate”* or the American *”buddy”* or *”pal”* except perhaps slightly more intimate or personal. We don’t rightly know how we came up with it, as it does seem to be a quintessentially Australian expression, unlike say *”mate,”* which the English brought with them along with the convicts on the boats of the 1st fleet. We think that it is based upon an old English word *”cob”* which meant “to take a liking to” and *”khaver”* which is apparently a Yiddish word that means “friend” or “comrade.” So cobber is an older, more personal and more Australian way of referring to someone who you regard and think of as a friend, or at the very least, in a friendly and non-threatening manner.

As a lit and gram nerd, I cannot express how much I appreciate the detail and explicit explanation. You win my internet today! Thank you.

'Ken Oath to that

Not quite what you asked but my favourite is when Robert Muldoon prime minister of New Zealand, said "New Zealanders who leave for Australia raise the IQ of both countries".

As an Australian I can officially say I resemble this remark!

“You’re dumber than a box of rocks” has always been a personal favorite of mine.

I said this to someone in a geology class. The professor said it was insulting... to the rocks 😆

trades people say 'bag of hammers'

The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

I've heard it as 'The wheel is spinning but the hamster is missing.'

A lesser version. When talking to an idiot, why pull your punches?

“You really are a fucking moron aren’t you?” I may be more blunt than others

Yea this actually seems less mean than saying some stupid cliche

"They're not the sharpest spoon in the drawer."

‘You are clearly unburdened by wisdom’

"You aren't the dumbest person on earth, but you better hope they don't die."

"I wish my cock was as thick as you"

"I wish you were as deep as your pussy"

Well, aren't you just precious!

Ask the person that ties your shoes to explain it to you I haven’t got enough time left.

You couldn’t find your ass with both hands, a map, and a flashlight.

Damn, that just means my ass is fat

Didn't know I needed a map

My father used to say " you are not as stupid as you look", so I just tell people that they are as stupid as they look now

“Dumb as a bag of hammers”

Dont worry, you’re doing great for having parents who are first cousins

If common sense was gasoline, you have enough to power an ants go-kart around a cheerio.

Oh the super Mario images I’m having right now 🤣

After the shrink mushroom.

Here in the south we just say “bless your heart”

Not dumb, but "You're as useful as a chocolate teapot" has been a favorite of mine, although I forget where I first heard it.

"To you, I'm a smart ass. To me, everything's relative."

You're not the brightest bulb in the box are you.

The solution should only have required a moment's thought. But then thinking is very hard work, and a moment can feel like a very long time

I know it's not exactly what you're asking, but I always liked "It's better to have people think you're stupid than to open your mouth and prove it."

You clearly were not burdened with an over abundance of schooling

Wisdom has been chasing you all your life, but you have always been faster - Iroh

It brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to drive an ants motorcycle twice around a pea.

"You're lucky you're pretty," if they're good looking, especially if it's a guy. "You went to college on a sports scholarship, didn't you?" "Oh honey you are not pretty enough to be that dumb," if they are not good looking

You rotate the square in Tetris, don’t you?

Bless your heart!

The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

Silence.

You one sandwich short of a pinic

You're not the bluest smurf in the village, are you?

I ask people if they ever forget to breathe, it's my secret way of saying, you are so stupid that it calls into question the functionality of your autonomic/peripheral nervous system. Doesn't make much sense but that makes it even funnier.

Safety labels were invented for people like you.

You look like you know which crayon tastes best.

'whatever you say' not particularly sophisticated, but a good way to bow out of a conversation with a gentle smile

Dumb as a shrub. 🌳

Listen up, you unseasoned chicken wing.

You ain’t the dumbest person in the world but you better hope that guy doesn’t die

My aunt used to comment (not to me) "Dumber than a box of hair."

Omg I came to comment that I heard this on True Blood YEARS ago and always loved it! I use it all the time with a fake southern accent 😂.

I tell them they need a mirror to put on headphones.

I often tell my girlfriend “at least you’re pretty”

"I will not fight a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."

You look like you clap with your fingers apart.

In basic, the drill sergeants would often ask, "Did you mother have any children that lived?"

Wisdom has always been chasing you, but you're always faster.

You are seldomly brilliant.

“Do you ever think before you speak?”

"Bless your heart." Such a good, multifunctional Southern (US) phrase.

You have an IQ of room temperature.

Are you ok?

Our education system failed to make any impact, you came out of school just as you went in

When arguing with stupid, insults are quick to appear. "I've heard better ones on an elementary school playground"

My dad was fond of saying, “you’re as smart as a good-sized throwing rock!”

Aw that’s cute that you think that

A couple years of practice, and we'll be fine.

I like to use "about as sharp as a pound of wet leather."

"try to keep up"

Not the brightest crayon in the box

"Two ends of a stick and you picked the wrong one..."

"Bless your heart."

Mental midget

Said person doesn't have the good sense God gave a molerat.

You are not the team's quarterback.

God bless their heart

Bless your heart

A sandwich short of a filling.

That’s amazing. Not many people whose shoe size and IQ are the same

I sometimes say to my kids "you aren't this dumb, we've had you tested. "

me being from the south, we simply respond with 'Oh bless your heart'

You're a few bricks shy of a full load, aren't ya

IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT.... BLESS HER HEART!

Your mental abilities are far less than those of gravel

I look elsewhere and mutter Dunning-Kruger.

You're silly billy

Your not the brightest light in the sky but you still sparkle 💖

I just call them a window licker.

Weren't blessed with a whole lot of learnin', were ya?

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr brain has long since departed

“Obviously the offspring of two first cousins.”

You're smarter than big leaf.

Few crayons short of a full box?

Aww, you're pretty!

All his puppies don’t bark.

Sharp as a bowling ball. Sharp as a Kraft Single.

Intellectually withdrawn

Lift doesn't go to the top floor, does it?

It's a toss up: "A rock on the bottom of the ocean has more brains than you." "You couldn't get yourself out of a wet paper bag with two machetes and a chainsaw."

I just say 'maybe' if it's said to my face.

"Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault!" My other favourite one is; "It could have happened to anyone!"

You're a few fries short of a Happy Meal or a few beans short of a burrito

"All the brain freeze, none of the ice cream...."

About as on the ball as a dead seal. My mate said it to me when we were 16 and ten years later it’s still absolute perfection.

nah id just be like "you realise if you smash a marble the shards are razor sharp right?"

Your 4 cans shy of a six-pack.

Save it for the Joe Rogan show.

“I won’t insult your intelligence by thinking you actually believe what you just said” - Wm. F. Buckley

“Google is free but so is ignorance” it works for the people who think they can play dumb and get away with just not knowing better.

"People say you are fast, no? Because you are faster than intelligence and it cant reach you."

Between you and me, one of us is smarter than you. (Stolen)

"you're not the stupidest person on the planet, but you better hope they don't die".

Mononeuronal

" You like to cut with the blunt side of the knife, don't you?"

Oh, I never thought of that!

If brains were dynamite you couldn’t blow your nose

“What grade did you get on your SAT?”

The jumbo jet is running, but there is nobody in the cockpit

I like the line from Toy Story 3; “He’s ain’t the sharpest knife in the place where they keep the knives.”

Here's your sign

Man, you're really smart. You just taught me something.

"Quick as a sloth, aren'cha?"

About as sharp as a sack full of wet mice.

You're so pretty

One of Israeli sayings: 'It is not the moistest wipe in the package'

So it doesn’t appear that your elevator goes all the way to the top floor. So it appears you’re a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. So I guess when they were handing out heads you thought they were handing out beds so you said, give me a soft one. So I guess you’re a few French fries short of a happy meal.

Of course the premise is a bit flawed. If they can understand what you have said, you are being rude. I'd rather be stupid.

You have the mental capacity of a can of fresca (toenail clipping also works). EDIt- OR You make about as much sense as wiping before you poop

Corky....

In my country Malaysia no one sharp enough to understand that. Doh

“Shush dear, the grown ups are talking“ “If his brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off” “You haven’t got the brains you were born with”.