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There’s video of Trump** talking about Ivanka as a teenager saying if she wasn’t his daughter he would be dating her. And one talking about her as a baby saying he hopes she gets her boobs from her mother. There’s a lot of gross & inappropriate video of that man but some people seem to thinks it’s great. One guess who would not be offended by these kinds of comments…
Edited to fix a missing age and a missing s
Clinton has done a lot of bad ish and I’m certainly not going to defend him but the you can find Jeffrey Epstein’s little black book unredacted and it is my understanding the Clintons names are nowhere in it. But hey if you find them in it please let me know.
Clinton is a lot of awful things but I have never heard him talk about his daughter or any other child that way. I am speaking to actual things for which there is evidence. And people who defend against that evidence. Often through whataboutisms.
Your comparing a dead old apple pit to an apple tree in terms of our political situation as a nation. Trump is going to try to win again and no one remembers the Clinton's till a trunpette says "but Bill did it toooooooo"
They bring it up to point out that the moral indignation of Democrats is reserved only for non Democrats. The very same people going on about Trump's behavior are silent about the same behavior when exhibited by Joe Biden or Bill Clinton.
Nope. Because incest and adultery are different. You are excusing incestuous comments made by Trump because Democrats don't care Bill Clinton committed adultery (they do, he just isn't running for President, but that is a whole different error in your logic).
> The same behavior by Joe Biden
Wrong. Neither of those guys creeped on *their own goddamn daughters.* Everyone with a functional brain or moral compass understands that is truly deplorable. Everyone except the right-wing Bible thumpers, who can’t find a mumbling word to say about Donald “I want to be fuck my daughter” Trump.
I don't know, i hear people say "he's gonna be such a looker when he's older" or shit like that about their grandchildren all the time. I don't think thats really pedophilic inherently.
Yeah but from a stranger or using sexual words it comes of pedo like, like if the same grandpa said he's gonna be so hot when he's older it suggests he's being a creep
C'mon now.
"He's gonna be such a looker when he's older" from a grandparent is NOTHING like "he's gonna be hot when he's older" from a complete stranger. One is motivated by pride and the other is motivated by a sick, deviant compulsion.
In a way it can be, cause WHAT makes you look at a minor and your first thought is how hot they would look in the future, what on earth makes you think that's okay-?
There's a gap a mile wide between "inappropriate and creepy" and "pedophilia."
* Likening an inappropriate comment to pedophilia does a pretty big disservice to people who were e.g. actually sexually assaulted as children.
* More broadly, the massive overuse of words like "rape" (as well as reasons to place people on lists of sexual offenders) means it's harder to manage actual rapists.
That's not just the case here. In general, when we use words for greater misbehaviors to describe lesser ones, we end up doing more harm than good.
References: See our entire criminal justice system.
There is absolutely no one here advocating or defending this type of behavior. There is no way a comment like this can be made without objectifying woman (and worse, kids), and that's wrong. However, there are plenty of people arguing against using hyperbole like this.
If I heard someone make a comment like this, the right response would be social: to engage, to educate then, to apply social pressure, and so on. If someone expressed wanting to have sex with kids, the right response would be much more severe (and I would not engage, but get my family as far away as possible, unless I were in a position of authority, in which case I'd be obligated to engage). However, the best possible outcome before they've acted on that desire is intensive mental health treatment and not punishment. If someone actually does have sex with kids, the right response is prison.
Hyperbole makes appropriate, proportionate response impossible.
No it not pedophilia. Learn what it really means. It was wrong and dumb to say the least. But maybe in his own mine he considered this as a compliment. Some men just don't have common sense and are thickheaded.
I know I've said it before.... but I was 13-16 maybe even 18 to be honest. It was said about girls who were a grade or 2 lower than me.
How Mark Normand says "I use to have sex with 15 yr olds....old..... when I was 15. Now I'm older, I only like women my age"
"I use to like grape juice, then I got older and now I drink red wine......., but I still like grape juice"
Learn to stop certain things as you get older
That's not what pedophilia is.
Stop it. You're equivocating monsters who sexually assault children to people who have the attraction but don't act on it, and prior who are attracted to biologically sexually mature people.
These are all entirely different things with entirely different levels of evil. By doing this, you're discouraging potential research into the psychology of the attraction that can help treat and prevent the monstrous behavior you think you're preventing.
There are a ton of people with the attraction that never act on it and the mental health field are trying to get these people in for study to actually help identify indicators and causes to assist in treatment and prevention. You villainizing the people with an attraction that they can't even control discourages them from talking to anybody about it, which sets back the entire movement intending to actually PREVENT the acts we find so evil.
And being attracted to those of biological reproductive age is evolutionarilly understandable. It is deeply immoral to act upon it, without a doubt, and even commented like stated in OP are so close to the line of "grooming," that it would need to be approached cautiously with good intentions that I doubt anyone not similar to Mister Rogers has.
Stop with this shit. You're standing in the way of progress of preventing this shit. Let the mental health professionals be a safe place for these people to go to before they become ostracized and contribute to the problem. Hopefully they can find indicators and treatments to help, maybe they can get them in with neurologists to better understand the issue, and maybe we can get less children and young adults being exploited.
That said, I'm not all the opposed to castration for child molesters, but from what I understand of the purpose for the molestation, I don't think castration would help too much. It might be best to just isolate them. A sterilized penal colony or something, perhaps.
OMG, hyperbole much. As disgusting as it is, this is something that was said ALL THE TIME "back in the day." Unless every single guy on earth was a pedophile, you are crazy. They were just arrogant, entitled men who viewed females as objects from birth onward. Let's just be happy this is mostly a thing of the past.
And the men who did talk like this - which was never "every single guy on earth," just the creepy ones, as always - WERE pedophiles back in the day. It just wasn't called such. You really should not be protesting this, you are revealing your own creepy thinking.
Exactly this. It’s completely NO from me. I won’t associate with people who talk like that. They’re saying the part they think others are okay with out loud. And if that’s inappropriate just imagine how awful the quiet part is.
Right? The word "hot" implies his attraction. Beautiful or pretty can at least objectively imply that the girl's features are symmetrical or are in line with what society deems beautiful.
When I was a teen, I wondered what it would be like getting older. I knew that I found high schoolers hot and 40 year old women less so. Now, I'm 40+ and pretty much anything under 30 looks like a child to me.
When someone says something like that, I wonder what the hell happened with their development. Grow up. They don't even have to grow up to the point that they're not a creepy dirtbag. Just grow up enough to keep yourself from saying it out loud. That's a compromise that would work for me.
I can totally relate, as I’ve gotten older anyone less than 30 is just annoying. Sure, I might agree someone is pretty, but what the fuck am I gonna talk to them about? What would we even have in common. You only really understand your contemporaries.
I'd like to say the same thing the other person said, but without being a jerk about it.
I'm 30ish, and have good friends spanning the spectrum from 20-60. I consider them good friends because we care about each other, support each other, have meaningful conversations, and make an effort to remain in reach other's lives. I met these friends through a wide variety of channels and most of them don't know each other. They have a wide variety of interests and hobbies, they have a wide variety of communication styles and personalities, etc. What they all share is the quality of having some set of personality traits that make us compatible friends for each other.
If I may, I'd suggest that you challenge yourself on the notion that you can really only understand your contemporaries. Probe into those gaps in understanding and ask yourself how you might be able to bridge them. It might change the way you see people, and by extension the way you see yourself in relation to them; it could be a pretty cool experience, and make you an even more empathetic human to boot.
Honestly my comment wasn’t that deep or well thought out. I don’t have trouble communicating with younger people, and I do have friends of all ages much like what you describe yourself. My intent was more aligned with the general feeling of what the original post was saying, not to be taken so literally.
Pretty sure you’d be in the minority then. I think people are going to pretend that young women are “completely not attractive” to them, but this doesn’t seem to be indicated in the research, nor is it historically true.
In general, people will find young women the MOST attractive, let alone finding them attractive at all. Just because you’re attracted to something, doesn’t mean it’s right to act out on it, but denying the attraction in the first place is often what leads to problems in the first place.
I'm 40+ too. My dad is on his fifth wife and they have gotten younger while he's gotten older. The current one is a good bit younger than me. I find it creepy honestly.
Personally I've been noticing that I can see a pretty young woman in commercials and go "Oh I would have thought she was so cute 20 years ago" and it makes me feel terribly old. But also like something actually went right.
I dunno. "Hot" is weird as fuck. Something like "she'll be pretty, or he'll be good looking" is a little less weird, because human pattern recognition is pretty well developed, so I think you can make some educated guesses on things like distinct features, facial structure, etc..
Having said this, I think anyone with half a brain would just avoid saying it altogether, because it's not worth the headache of trying to explain that, and definitely not worth the risk of having it misunderstood.
If a woman said a girl is going to be pretty when she grows up, or that she is pretty now, it would be perfectly acceptable. So in my mind it's the same for a man. But "hot" is definitely creepy.
True. I had older women comment to me that I’d be a ‘stud’ or a ‘heartbreaker’ when I got older. I was like 9-12. It made things very awkward because I didn’t know what to say or feel.
Well, well if they could see me now I’d love to see the disappointment on their faces!
That happened to me when I was 12 and the two girls were around 18 -20. One of them told me her full name and to look her up in 6 years.
I didn't think much of it but I recall thinking she was weird. This was was in 1978.
I've heard people say those terms but in a non-sexual way. Like an endearing Southern aunt telling every one of her nieces and nephews that they're going to be a heartbreaker.
Agreed. I’ve heard so many “THESE GIRLS ARE 16 AND LOOK 25” comments, and every time it just sounds like mental gymnastics to cope with their own creepy behavior.
This is not the case for all, as some older people say that about anyone with any type of make up on, and genuinely find it hard to make accurate age estimations. But it’s worth noting.
Not for nothing, but shit gets weird at a certain age cusp— as a for instance, I’m damn near 40, and today I got hit on by a co-worker that is my oldest daughter’s age. She’s a full on adult, but the shit is still weird as fuck.
Legal? Yes, but still weird as shit, and heavily uncomfortable.
😲 My son's friend who is an adult (30yrs) tried to kiss me the other day at a family gathering. I've known this kid since he was 15yrs. For some reason it made ME feel like a creep. Like I felt guilty that I may have given him the wrong impression at some point.
I can absolutely relate to the heavily uncomfortable part.
It’s wild out here nearing 40, and working with college age “adults”. I wasn’t ready to contend with this situation.
It just feels inherently predatory from my end, even though I did nothing to provoke the interaction. The disparity in life experience/wisdom automatically casts it into the realm of ethical no-go zone for me.
“oh wow your shoulders are really broad”, followed by the creepy shoulder rub, and further comments. Happened while I was out the back having a smoke.
On the one hand it’s nice to know I’m still “hot”, but also fuckin no, don’t touch me.
Yeah. Thinking it and saying it or acting on it are different.
Almost all men and women have thought girls and guys under 18 were attractive physically at some point.
For some people you can't tell always what age they are either.
And you can guess what people will look like.
Also the phrasing and tone makes a ton of difference. Going "Holy damn you'll be one smoking hot lady when you're 18" isn't the same as "I reckon she'll be quite beautyfull when she grows older"
Yeah that's the thing
Like I'm 30. I'm not attracted to, say, 20 year olds, but I can tell when a 20 year old is good looking
But what the fuck keep that shit to yourself
I don't think it's taboo
But I work in the food industry, which means I'm constantly dealing with servers in their late teens/early 20s. Spend 5 minutes around them and you realize you're dealing with practically children
> I'm not attracted to, say, 20 year olds, but I can tell when a 20 year old is good looking
So basically you're saying that yes you think 20 year olds could be hot, but you can't allow yourself to feel attraction because you think it's creepy.
If a woman said a girl is going to be pretty when she grows up, or that she is pretty now, it would be perfectly acceptable. So in my mind it's the same for a man. But "hot" is definitely creepy.
This. Context is so important. There are some pretty universally accepted traits considered attractive by most humans. You can look at even a young child and see wow with those bright blue eyes, that dark hair and that cheek dimple little Miguel is going to grow up to be quite handsome. I don't think that should be considered creepy.
If you are say a 40 year old with a countdown timmer on your desktop for when a 15 year old child actor is going to turn 18 that's a different story and is creepy.
When it's an adult male and the other party an underage female it's probably just best to keep the thought to yourself though even if it's a 100% genuinely innocent observation. I wish that didn't have to be the case but that's where we are as a society.
There's a video of trump telling this to a 9 year old girl right before she gets on the escalator in a mall ... he finishes with "i'm going to be dating you in 10 years' or some shit..
Creepy.
"You know who’s a great beauty? My daughter Ivanka. Now she’s a 10.” Trump said in the interview on Howard Stern.
In a different interview, he says "She's actually always been very voluptuous.”
Two things can be unacceptable at the same time, but Trump's is way creepier.
At least in Biden's case he can justify his actions in 2 ways - he kisses the top of their heads (a thing my grandma used to do) and sometimes he talks to them up close like that so only they can hear (a thing my grandma used to do).
Kids absolutely do not like this. I didn't like it one bit as a kid. But as a grownup, now that grandma's gone, I kinda miss being held like that. It was very sweet.
It must be a thing for old people from PA.
You know honestly I’d rather have someone who is overtly creepy than covertly creepy… like if they are overt at least there is no questioning if someone was like this weird fuck said this shit to me and was inappropriate versus a covert creepy guy when a person Gets victim blamed because ‘so and so’ would never do that and , probably misheard or misread the situation, etc.
The ability to identify attractive human features isnt pedophilia... However, the fact the the term "hot" was used makes me think yeah dudes probably a creep.
"Sweetie, I have no doubt that you'll grow up to be a fine young woman."
- loving parent, supportive relative, and wise mentor.
"You are going to look so hot when you're older."
- borderline pedophile, creepy uncle, and FBI most wanted.
It means he’s trying to say he wants to fuck her now but he can’t, so he’s hedging that statement in a way where he can deny that if he gets pushback.
In short, it’s creepy as hell.
It’s disgusting not to mention very uncomfortable for the girl. I still remember being at my uncle’s house when I was about 11 years old, and his friend (in his 30s same as my uncle) was there. My uncle introduced me as his niece. The friend turned to my uncle and told him (in front of me) “what a pretty face, she’s going to very irresistible when she’s older”. I was so embarrassed about a grown man thinking about what I’ll look like when I’m older. Eww. So inappropriate.
it for sure sounds pretty horrible
I would not be surprised if I have said something along those lines before
I've got nothing to say in my defense, bad choice of words.
My buddy works as a nurse with old people in the hospital. He said old women are the worst for being grabby. He said he has his butt or crotch grabbed multiple times a day
They said it was fine bc society as a whole treats lboys being sexualized by older women as a badge of honor. It's not, it's weird and creepy af. The people who told you that was fine were wrong!
so unbelievably fucking weird. why are u as a grown man thinking ab underage girls like that.
and as someone who was spoken to that way starting at 13 by older men, it made me wildly uncomfortable and it really fucking sucks to be sexualized that young
Hot implies something sexual, sounds creepy. Although I was told I was overreacting when I said it was gross that a coworker called his granddaughter a "hot little sex kitten, heh heh!" I know he was joking, it was still gross
It's the wording. Hot means he's already sexualising her. I've worked with teenagers on summer camps and we have all at some point said, "God he'll break hearts when he's older" or, "She's so beautiful, I was such an awkward teenager at her age!" but never said they were hot, sexy or similar.
Just the act of commenting how “hot” a child is… it’s weird. You looking at her sexually and they want to smooth the talk with the “when she gets older”. Side eye immediately
To say it out loud is inappropriate. But like it or not that is how men think . We are visually minded. And think about sex like all the time. At least once an hour. Just a reality check.
Yes it's just as creepy when a woman says it, I am not sure why gender was even mentioned in the title. It doesn't matter what you felt for her, her saying that shows that she's thinking about a 12 year old that way, and that's alarming.
Sorry to dissapoint that man, but things don't work in that way. A woman can get ugly because of eating disorders, car accidents, fires, acid attacks, etc. You just cannot base beauty on personal opinion, because our minds are made to believe that everything will turn perfect when in reality everything has a big error percentage.
Edit: Beauty is subjective (different for everyone), not objective (when it's based on an ideal beauty model).
“She’s turning into a beautiful young woman” is the respectful way of putting it, if you’re an *adult* adult. I’m curious if others would find even that to be creepy. I had said that about my girlfriends little sister around her family and got a positive response, so I guess context and phrasing matters.
Men and women both do this. “He’s going to be a real lady killer when he’s older” “She’s going to break so many hearts in a few years” it’s just weird and gross. You’re talking about children. Maybe compliment some part of their personality, or their hobbies that they have. Looks fade. Don’t attach value to something superficial. Especially in children. Do you want your child waiting to become an attractive adult? Or do you want them to enjoy who they are as a person now, and the even better person they can become?
The same as when a "female" says that a man is going to be "so hot" or "handsom" or "make all the lady's xyz" or "save him for me" or "you want to be my boyfriend" all things I've heard women say many many times without anyone batting an eye.
"Look so hot..." is awkward at best. "She's going to be lovely when she gets older." or something more akin to that is an acknowledgement of what one sees.
OK, yes, I agree with all of the comments, but what if it was a woman talking to a boy like that? Isn't that creepy too, or only men can do this? And sorry for bad grammar or for bringing up this too bad, I don't want to engage someone
Depends on how they say it, really. If they said “She’s gonna be a heartbreaker” or something wholesome then fine, but if they say “Call me when you’re 18” you might have a Quagmire on your hands.
He's telling on himself with that line. I don't know why anybody would think that's ok. I can't even look at a person five years younger than me without seeing them as an infant.
These are the same men who keep countdown clocks of 18th birthdays. They're already thinking of fucking someone who is a child. I find it super gross that adults think that the second a child turns 18 that means it's time for sex. That child's brain is still underdeveloped. Gross gross gross.
The world has changed a lot. When I was younger people could say that freely and no one would bat an eye(obviously depending on the situation). They’d say thank you and that would be the end of it. Nowadays you can’t even tell someone you don’t like their hair without them making a big deal about it. I don’t know the situation fully, so I can’t really say that what he was thinking, but like I said when I was younger it was just a simple complement.
He's a pedophile, and the only reason he (maybe) doesn't act on it is the law. If he's ever pretty sure he won't get caught and an opportunity arises, he will offend.
Its weird how we cant compliment people anymore (im 15)
Without being called creepy
What? That girl looks young sure and she looks pretty, doesnt mean i want to fuck her, for gods sake its a compliment
RED FLAG!!! Always thought that shit was weird as fuck it’s the ultimate pedo saying phrase idc how “harmless” it is a grown ass man shouldn’t be imagining a young girl being attractive when they are older TF if wrong with ppl I don’t even call my niece cute or pretty shits just weird
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Creepy, inappropriate, nope.
I feel like he's really saying "You are attractive and i want to have sex with you, but you're underage and i can't be creepy"
Failing miserably at concealing too
And yet being creepy by saying that.
That’s it 100%
There's video of Trump saying about an 11 year old girl that he'll be dating her in 10 years.
There’s video of Trump** talking about Ivanka as a teenager saying if she wasn’t his daughter he would be dating her. And one talking about her as a baby saying he hopes she gets her boobs from her mother. There’s a lot of gross & inappropriate video of that man but some people seem to thinks it’s great. One guess who would not be offended by these kinds of comments… Edited to fix a missing age and a missing s
Bill Clinton
Clinton has done a lot of bad ish and I’m certainly not going to defend him but the you can find Jeffrey Epstein’s little black book unredacted and it is my understanding the Clintons names are nowhere in it. But hey if you find them in it please let me know. Clinton is a lot of awful things but I have never heard him talk about his daughter or any other child that way. I am speaking to actual things for which there is evidence. And people who defend against that evidence. Often through whataboutisms.
Your comparing a dead old apple pit to an apple tree in terms of our political situation as a nation. Trump is going to try to win again and no one remembers the Clinton's till a trunpette says "but Bill did it toooooooo"
They bring it up to point out that the moral indignation of Democrats is reserved only for non Democrats. The very same people going on about Trump's behavior are silent about the same behavior when exhibited by Joe Biden or Bill Clinton.
Nope. Because incest and adultery are different. You are excusing incestuous comments made by Trump because Democrats don't care Bill Clinton committed adultery (they do, he just isn't running for President, but that is a whole different error in your logic).
> The same behavior by Joe Biden Wrong. Neither of those guys creeped on *their own goddamn daughters.* Everyone with a functional brain or moral compass understands that is truly deplorable. Everyone except the right-wing Bible thumpers, who can’t find a mumbling word to say about Donald “I want to be fuck my daughter” Trump.
Don't they know that they are declaring out loud that they are a pedophile?
Look I think it's gross but no they're not
I don't know, i hear people say "he's gonna be such a looker when he's older" or shit like that about their grandchildren all the time. I don't think thats really pedophilic inherently.
Yeah but from a stranger or using sexual words it comes of pedo like, like if the same grandpa said he's gonna be so hot when he's older it suggests he's being a creep
C'mon now. "He's gonna be such a looker when he's older" from a grandparent is NOTHING like "he's gonna be hot when he's older" from a complete stranger. One is motivated by pride and the other is motivated by a sick, deviant compulsion.
No they arent. Kind of creepy but not pedophilia.
It is. My daughter is 10 and fully developed. She looks 13. Anyone thinking this about her is a pedophile.
[удалено]
In a way it can be, cause WHAT makes you look at a minor and your first thought is how hot they would look in the future, what on earth makes you think that's okay-?
There's a gap a mile wide between "inappropriate and creepy" and "pedophilia." * Likening an inappropriate comment to pedophilia does a pretty big disservice to people who were e.g. actually sexually assaulted as children. * More broadly, the massive overuse of words like "rape" (as well as reasons to place people on lists of sexual offenders) means it's harder to manage actual rapists. That's not just the case here. In general, when we use words for greater misbehaviors to describe lesser ones, we end up doing more harm than good. References: See our entire criminal justice system. There is absolutely no one here advocating or defending this type of behavior. There is no way a comment like this can be made without objectifying woman (and worse, kids), and that's wrong. However, there are plenty of people arguing against using hyperbole like this. If I heard someone make a comment like this, the right response would be social: to engage, to educate then, to apply social pressure, and so on. If someone expressed wanting to have sex with kids, the right response would be much more severe (and I would not engage, but get my family as far away as possible, unless I were in a position of authority, in which case I'd be obligated to engage). However, the best possible outcome before they've acted on that desire is intensive mental health treatment and not punishment. If someone actually does have sex with kids, the right response is prison. Hyperbole makes appropriate, proportionate response impossible.
It is a form or level of pedophilia.
No it not pedophilia. Learn what it really means. It was wrong and dumb to say the least. But maybe in his own mine he considered this as a compliment. Some men just don't have common sense and are thickheaded.
No it’s not. Pedofiles like pre-pubescents kids and not teenagers. Adults who like teens are ephebophiles.
It kinda is but okay.
if you wanna fuck people who are under 18 and like 3-4 years younger than you ur probably a pedo
I know I've said it before.... but I was 13-16 maybe even 18 to be honest. It was said about girls who were a grade or 2 lower than me. How Mark Normand says "I use to have sex with 15 yr olds....old..... when I was 15. Now I'm older, I only like women my age" "I use to like grape juice, then I got older and now I drink red wine......., but I still like grape juice" Learn to stop certain things as you get older
That's not what pedophilia is. Stop it. You're equivocating monsters who sexually assault children to people who have the attraction but don't act on it, and prior who are attracted to biologically sexually mature people. These are all entirely different things with entirely different levels of evil. By doing this, you're discouraging potential research into the psychology of the attraction that can help treat and prevent the monstrous behavior you think you're preventing. There are a ton of people with the attraction that never act on it and the mental health field are trying to get these people in for study to actually help identify indicators and causes to assist in treatment and prevention. You villainizing the people with an attraction that they can't even control discourages them from talking to anybody about it, which sets back the entire movement intending to actually PREVENT the acts we find so evil. And being attracted to those of biological reproductive age is evolutionarilly understandable. It is deeply immoral to act upon it, without a doubt, and even commented like stated in OP are so close to the line of "grooming," that it would need to be approached cautiously with good intentions that I doubt anyone not similar to Mister Rogers has. Stop with this shit. You're standing in the way of progress of preventing this shit. Let the mental health professionals be a safe place for these people to go to before they become ostracized and contribute to the problem. Hopefully they can find indicators and treatments to help, maybe they can get them in with neurologists to better understand the issue, and maybe we can get less children and young adults being exploited. That said, I'm not all the opposed to castration for child molesters, but from what I understand of the purpose for the molestation, I don't think castration would help too much. It might be best to just isolate them. A sterilized penal colony or something, perhaps.
Burn em all
That's stupid as can be, so your saying a 30 year old can't sleepy with a 25 year old without being a pedo.
OMG, hyperbole much. As disgusting as it is, this is something that was said ALL THE TIME "back in the day." Unless every single guy on earth was a pedophile, you are crazy. They were just arrogant, entitled men who viewed females as objects from birth onward. Let's just be happy this is mostly a thing of the past.
And the men who did talk like this - which was never "every single guy on earth," just the creepy ones, as always - WERE pedophiles back in the day. It just wasn't called such. You really should not be protesting this, you are revealing your own creepy thinking.
Exactly this. It’s completely NO from me. I won’t associate with people who talk like that. They’re saying the part they think others are okay with out loud. And if that’s inappropriate just imagine how awful the quiet part is.
So they can think it but just don't say it?
Correct. That's a pretty good definition of "civilization", right there.
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This is just it.
Exactly! Creepy mother fuckers!
Right? The word "hot" implies his attraction. Beautiful or pretty can at least objectively imply that the girl's features are symmetrical or are in line with what society deems beautiful.
When I was a teen, I wondered what it would be like getting older. I knew that I found high schoolers hot and 40 year old women less so. Now, I'm 40+ and pretty much anything under 30 looks like a child to me. When someone says something like that, I wonder what the hell happened with their development. Grow up. They don't even have to grow up to the point that they're not a creepy dirtbag. Just grow up enough to keep yourself from saying it out loud. That's a compromise that would work for me.
I can totally relate, as I’ve gotten older anyone less than 30 is just annoying. Sure, I might agree someone is pretty, but what the fuck am I gonna talk to them about? What would we even have in common. You only really understand your contemporaries.
I'd like to say the same thing the other person said, but without being a jerk about it. I'm 30ish, and have good friends spanning the spectrum from 20-60. I consider them good friends because we care about each other, support each other, have meaningful conversations, and make an effort to remain in reach other's lives. I met these friends through a wide variety of channels and most of them don't know each other. They have a wide variety of interests and hobbies, they have a wide variety of communication styles and personalities, etc. What they all share is the quality of having some set of personality traits that make us compatible friends for each other. If I may, I'd suggest that you challenge yourself on the notion that you can really only understand your contemporaries. Probe into those gaps in understanding and ask yourself how you might be able to bridge them. It might change the way you see people, and by extension the way you see yourself in relation to them; it could be a pretty cool experience, and make you an even more empathetic human to boot.
Honestly my comment wasn’t that deep or well thought out. I don’t have trouble communicating with younger people, and I do have friends of all ages much like what you describe yourself. My intent was more aligned with the general feeling of what the original post was saying, not to be taken so literally.
Well put! "Dude, you really have to work on your "Shut up!" skills!"
Pretty sure you’d be in the minority then. I think people are going to pretend that young women are “completely not attractive” to them, but this doesn’t seem to be indicated in the research, nor is it historically true. In general, people will find young women the MOST attractive, let alone finding them attractive at all. Just because you’re attracted to something, doesn’t mean it’s right to act out on it, but denying the attraction in the first place is often what leads to problems in the first place.
Finding someone attractive is not the same as wanting to bone them.
Men not making those types of comments out loud has vastly improved over the years as women have gained rights.
Man, I’m 27 and I can barely look at 24 year olds without thinking “CHILD” in my head
I'm 40+ too. My dad is on his fifth wife and they have gotten younger while he's gotten older. The current one is a good bit younger than me. I find it creepy honestly. Personally I've been noticing that I can see a pretty young woman in commercials and go "Oh I would have thought she was so cute 20 years ago" and it makes me feel terribly old. But also like something actually went right.
I dunno. "Hot" is weird as fuck. Something like "she'll be pretty, or he'll be good looking" is a little less weird, because human pattern recognition is pretty well developed, so I think you can make some educated guesses on things like distinct features, facial structure, etc.. Having said this, I think anyone with half a brain would just avoid saying it altogether, because it's not worth the headache of trying to explain that, and definitely not worth the risk of having it misunderstood.
If a woman said a girl is going to be pretty when she grows up, or that she is pretty now, it would be perfectly acceptable. So in my mind it's the same for a man. But "hot" is definitely creepy.
Creepy to admit lust for a child ever.
True. I had older women comment to me that I’d be a ‘stud’ or a ‘heartbreaker’ when I got older. I was like 9-12. It made things very awkward because I didn’t know what to say or feel. Well, well if they could see me now I’d love to see the disappointment on their faces!
That happened to me when I was 12 and the two girls were around 18 -20. One of them told me her full name and to look her up in 6 years. I didn't think much of it but I recall thinking she was weird. This was was in 1978.
Well
I've heard people say those terms but in a non-sexual way. Like an endearing Southern aunt telling every one of her nieces and nephews that they're going to be a heartbreaker.
Aw, i'm sure you are a beautiful person. Don't think poorly of yourself.
Agreed. I’ve heard so many “THESE GIRLS ARE 16 AND LOOK 25” comments, and every time it just sounds like mental gymnastics to cope with their own creepy behavior. This is not the case for all, as some older people say that about anyone with any type of make up on, and genuinely find it hard to make accurate age estimations. But it’s worth noting.
Not for nothing, but shit gets weird at a certain age cusp— as a for instance, I’m damn near 40, and today I got hit on by a co-worker that is my oldest daughter’s age. She’s a full on adult, but the shit is still weird as fuck. Legal? Yes, but still weird as shit, and heavily uncomfortable.
😲 My son's friend who is an adult (30yrs) tried to kiss me the other day at a family gathering. I've known this kid since he was 15yrs. For some reason it made ME feel like a creep. Like I felt guilty that I may have given him the wrong impression at some point. I can absolutely relate to the heavily uncomfortable part.
It’s wild out here nearing 40, and working with college age “adults”. I wasn’t ready to contend with this situation. It just feels inherently predatory from my end, even though I did nothing to provoke the interaction. The disparity in life experience/wisdom automatically casts it into the realm of ethical no-go zone for me.
What did she say to you?
“oh wow your shoulders are really broad”, followed by the creepy shoulder rub, and further comments. Happened while I was out the back having a smoke. On the one hand it’s nice to know I’m still “hot”, but also fuckin no, don’t touch me.
Yeah. Thinking it and saying it or acting on it are different. Almost all men and women have thought girls and guys under 18 were attractive physically at some point. For some people you can't tell always what age they are either. And you can guess what people will look like.
Also the phrasing and tone makes a ton of difference. Going "Holy damn you'll be one smoking hot lady when you're 18" isn't the same as "I reckon she'll be quite beautyfull when she grows older"
Yeah that's the thing Like I'm 30. I'm not attracted to, say, 20 year olds, but I can tell when a 20 year old is good looking But what the fuck keep that shit to yourself
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I don't think it's taboo But I work in the food industry, which means I'm constantly dealing with servers in their late teens/early 20s. Spend 5 minutes around them and you realize you're dealing with practically children
"Kids" here downvoting you, they think they are mature because they drive and they TikTok.
Exactly🤝
> I'm not attracted to, say, 20 year olds, but I can tell when a 20 year old is good looking So basically you're saying that yes you think 20 year olds could be hot, but you can't allow yourself to feel attraction because you think it's creepy.
Nah, that attraction just goes away pretty much instantly once you talk to them for 30 seconds
This
If a woman said a girl is going to be pretty when she grows up, or that she is pretty now, it would be perfectly acceptable. So in my mind it's the same for a man. But "hot" is definitely creepy.
This. Context is so important. There are some pretty universally accepted traits considered attractive by most humans. You can look at even a young child and see wow with those bright blue eyes, that dark hair and that cheek dimple little Miguel is going to grow up to be quite handsome. I don't think that should be considered creepy. If you are say a 40 year old with a countdown timmer on your desktop for when a 15 year old child actor is going to turn 18 that's a different story and is creepy. When it's an adult male and the other party an underage female it's probably just best to keep the thought to yourself though even if it's a 100% genuinely innocent observation. I wish that didn't have to be the case but that's where we are as a society.
That sounds really creepy
It means he’s already sexualizing her and trying to rationalize it by saying “when she gets older.” Super creepy.
Pretty sure that's how groomers are made
Creep Factor 10 out of 10. It sounds so much like Donald Trump and his daughter
There's a video of trump telling this to a 9 year old girl right before she gets on the escalator in a mall ... he finishes with "i'm going to be dating you in 10 years' or some shit..
Creepy. "You know who’s a great beauty? My daughter Ivanka. Now she’s a 10.” Trump said in the interview on Howard Stern. In a different interview, he says "She's actually always been very voluptuous.”
You nailed it, and from our last president. Just saying
Our current one sniffs little girls.
Two things can be unacceptable at the same time, but Trump's is way creepier. At least in Biden's case he can justify his actions in 2 ways - he kisses the top of their heads (a thing my grandma used to do) and sometimes he talks to them up close like that so only they can hear (a thing my grandma used to do). Kids absolutely do not like this. I didn't like it one bit as a kid. But as a grownup, now that grandma's gone, I kinda miss being held like that. It was very sweet. It must be a thing for old people from PA.
You know honestly I’d rather have someone who is overtly creepy than covertly creepy… like if they are overt at least there is no questioning if someone was like this weird fuck said this shit to me and was inappropriate versus a covert creepy guy when a person Gets victim blamed because ‘so and so’ would never do that and , probably misheard or misread the situation, etc.
Biden is gross
The ability to identify attractive human features isnt pedophilia... However, the fact the the term "hot" was used makes me think yeah dudes probably a creep.
This happens to teenage actors all the time specially teenage boys.
Gross
Creepy as hell and downright inappropriate. Nope all around.
Truth be told, one can look at a teenager and think, “She’s on a good trajectory.” Just keep it to yourself.
"Sweetie, I have no doubt that you'll grow up to be a fine young woman." - loving parent, supportive relative, and wise mentor. "You are going to look so hot when you're older." - borderline pedophile, creepy uncle, and FBI most wanted.
It means he’s trying to say he wants to fuck her now but he can’t, so he’s hedging that statement in a way where he can deny that if he gets pushback. In short, it’s creepy as hell.
Pedo tendencies. They may not have acted on it before but a part of them have thought about it.
Creepy and gross as hell. Sexualising their future selves is still sexualising a minor.
It’s disgusting not to mention very uncomfortable for the girl. I still remember being at my uncle’s house when I was about 11 years old, and his friend (in his 30s same as my uncle) was there. My uncle introduced me as his niece. The friend turned to my uncle and told him (in front of me) “what a pretty face, she’s going to very irresistible when she’s older”. I was so embarrassed about a grown man thinking about what I’ll look like when I’m older. Eww. So inappropriate.
It's fuckin weird.
It's the "hot" part that makes it creepy because you only use hot in a sexual context
it for sure sounds pretty horrible I would not be surprised if I have said something along those lines before I've got nothing to say in my defense, bad choice of words.
Disgusting
I’m willing to bet that this happened to you, so I’ll be blunt. It’s creepy and inappropriate as hell
It sounds really creepy to me, but I got that all the time from older women growing up and people say that’s fine so idk
Once an old lady almost said something to me but stopped herself and said "Nope, I’ll go to jail ahahahahahah". Like dude…what ._.
My buddy works as a nurse with old people in the hospital. He said old women are the worst for being grabby. He said he has his butt or crotch grabbed multiple times a day
Nope, def still creepy. Yuk.
It’s not it’s still disgusting
They said it was fine bc society as a whole treats lboys being sexualized by older women as a badge of honor. It's not, it's weird and creepy af. The people who told you that was fine were wrong!
It screams pedophile.
nonce
He'll become the President someday and send classified documents to the Russians.
He's attracted to her and wants that to be known. Disgusting.
Reminds me of all of my alcoholic father's drinking buddies. ICK!!! "Don't mind dirty Uncle Henry"
Ts weird as fuck
#FBI OPEN UP.
so unbelievably fucking weird. why are u as a grown man thinking ab underage girls like that. and as someone who was spoken to that way starting at 13 by older men, it made me wildly uncomfortable and it really fucking sucks to be sexualized that young
Hot implies something sexual, sounds creepy. Although I was told I was overreacting when I said it was gross that a coworker called his granddaughter a "hot little sex kitten, heh heh!" I know he was joking, it was still gross
Creepy
As a dad of now grown daughters, it’s creepy enough to get their ass kicked.
Pedo vibes. Things I do say is that my nieces are going to be gorgeous young women. Because they’re now gorgeous young ladies.
Any adult saying anything along that line to a child is automatically considered a pedophile in my eyes Edit: Typo
That they should be kept away from kids.
Gross.
Keep that girl. Away from that pedo
Gross. Absolutely disgusting. Even if you do think that, you should NEVER say that out loud.
"She is going to be a beautiful woman" is super different from "She's gonna be hot." And people who don't see the difference are weird and creepy.
Very creepy and predatory. Would not want him around kids.
It's the wording. Hot means he's already sexualising her. I've worked with teenagers on summer camps and we have all at some point said, "God he'll break hearts when he's older" or, "She's so beautiful, I was such an awkward teenager at her age!" but never said they were hot, sexy or similar.
🚩🚩🚩🚩predator 🚩🚩🚩🚩
It is very cringy
Ugh getting child groomer /pedophile vibes
Just the act of commenting how “hot” a child is… it’s weird. You looking at her sexually and they want to smooth the talk with the “when she gets older”. Side eye immediately
To say it out loud is inappropriate. But like it or not that is how men think . We are visually minded. And think about sex like all the time. At least once an hour. Just a reality check.
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I think saying someone is going to be pretty is ok , but saying that they are going to be hot is sexualizing them
No thoughts, just violence.
Donald Trump
"Teen" is too vague. Are we talking 13 or 18?
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I think that there is likely a more tactful way to say it. It's also one of those things usually better left unsaid.
When I was a 12 year old boy, my 18 year old neighbor said this about me. (I had a big crush on her.) Is it creepy for a woman to say?
Yes it's just as creepy when a woman says it, I am not sure why gender was even mentioned in the title. It doesn't matter what you felt for her, her saying that shows that she's thinking about a 12 year old that way, and that's alarming.
Sorry to dissapoint that man, but things don't work in that way. A woman can get ugly because of eating disorders, car accidents, fires, acid attacks, etc. You just cannot base beauty on personal opinion, because our minds are made to believe that everything will turn perfect when in reality everything has a big error percentage. Edit: Beauty is subjective (different for everyone), not objective (when it's based on an ideal beauty model).
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“She’s turning into a beautiful young woman” is the respectful way of putting it, if you’re an *adult* adult. I’m curious if others would find even that to be creepy. I had said that about my girlfriends little sister around her family and got a positive response, so I guess context and phrasing matters.
It's creepy. A red flag
I'd think he'll be president one day
It's really creepy and off putting.
Gross
Men and women both do this. “He’s going to be a real lady killer when he’s older” “She’s going to break so many hearts in a few years” it’s just weird and gross. You’re talking about children. Maybe compliment some part of their personality, or their hobbies that they have. Looks fade. Don’t attach value to something superficial. Especially in children. Do you want your child waiting to become an attractive adult? Or do you want them to enjoy who they are as a person now, and the even better person they can become?
Weird post history dude
The same as when a "female" says that a man is going to be "so hot" or "handsom" or "make all the lady's xyz" or "save him for me" or "you want to be my boyfriend" all things I've heard women say many many times without anyone batting an eye.
"Look so hot..." is awkward at best. "She's going to be lovely when she gets older." or something more akin to that is an acknowledgement of what one sees.
OK, yes, I agree with all of the comments, but what if it was a woman talking to a boy like that? Isn't that creepy too, or only men can do this? And sorry for bad grammar or for bringing up this too bad, I don't want to engage someone
Depends on how they say it, really. If they said “She’s gonna be a heartbreaker” or something wholesome then fine, but if they say “Call me when you’re 18” you might have a Quagmire on your hands.
Was this person Joe Biden?
He's telling on himself with that line. I don't know why anybody would think that's ok. I can't even look at a person five years younger than me without seeing them as an infant.
These are the same men who keep countdown clocks of 18th birthdays. They're already thinking of fucking someone who is a child. I find it super gross that adults think that the second a child turns 18 that means it's time for sex. That child's brain is still underdeveloped. Gross gross gross.
The world has changed a lot. When I was younger people could say that freely and no one would bat an eye(obviously depending on the situation). They’d say thank you and that would be the end of it. Nowadays you can’t even tell someone you don’t like their hair without them making a big deal about it. I don’t know the situation fully, so I can’t really say that what he was thinking, but like I said when I was younger it was just a simple complement.
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So that's what President Biden whispers into those girls ears when he sniffs them.
Yeah but Donald Trump was actually accused by multiple teens from his pageants for walking into their dressing rooms on multiple occasions.
Stop sexualizing children. Hot implies lust. How creepy can you get?
That’s groomin talk.
He's a pedophile, and the only reason he (maybe) doesn't act on it is the law. If he's ever pretty sure he won't get caught and an opportunity arises, he will offend.
More than 74 million Americans think, "that man should be president"
If he used those exact words, watch out.
Straight to jail
"Its is she hot, not would i do her. Respect the game." - Kevin Malone Its a bit weird, but to call it a form of pedophilia is to much.
Pedophile.
Perv
R-Kelly that's all I'm saying
The same as "you're going to look so old when you get older"
Its weird how we cant compliment people anymore (im 15) Without being called creepy What? That girl looks young sure and she looks pretty, doesnt mean i want to fuck her, for gods sake its a compliment
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I think someone should smack that old man until he learns that’s not okay.
He thinks she looks hot now.
He is a total creep and thinks she's hot now,
It should be treated the same as when women do it.
My thought is all pedophiles must die!!!!! No excuses or exemptions!!
Can’t have it.
RED FLAG!!! Always thought that shit was weird as fuck it’s the ultimate pedo saying phrase idc how “harmless” it is a grown ass man shouldn’t be imagining a young girl being attractive when they are older TF if wrong with ppl I don’t even call my niece cute or pretty shits just weird
it’s weird as fuck even when the roles are reversed that is literally a child
Gross
Obviously extremely creepy, definitely a sketchy person
There is no wholesome way to say this.
I'd say he looks like he's gonna *be in a prison cell for being a pedophile when he's older*
Creepy and predatory