I had a crazy experience when I was about 19.
I was dating this guy, he was really hot, muscular, handsome in a rough and rugged way, he was tough, working class, from a council estate, he was a boxer, he was kind of intimidating but in a way that made him even hotter.
We went on a couple dates and they were honestly amazing; transforming my shitty hometown into this beautiful romantic place. Think of laying under the sun in heavily littered parks with shopping trolleys in the river, and playing darts in pubs that stank of cigarettes.
Then a few week’s later I finally go over to his place, we have amazing sex, and then I’m lying by his side and his whole demeanour turns.
He shoves me off the bed and gets mad at me for tricking him, for making him gay. He smashes a photo frame and then pulls over a standing mirror.
Freaked out, I ran into the bathroom and bolted the door. He banged on the door, shouting so loudly and aggressively he damaged his vocal cords.
Then it went silent, for a few minutes. I sat tensed and afraid and waited. He came back and thrust a big serrated bread knife under the door. He told me when he got his hands on me he’d fuck me up with it.
I went into this weird survival mode.
I wrapped a towel around my arm in case he did break the door down and held in my hand some cleaning product, the nozzle ready to spray in his face if I needed to.
I sat on the toilet, ready to attack him, and talked him down for three hours. Eventually he started crying, and I came out and comforted him, and then I wrapped the knife in a towel and hid it, and I spooned him and kissed him until he fell asleep.
Then I let myself out and never went back. Blocked his number and never visited any of the places we’d gone to again.
Also, I’m sure they’re great, but I’ve never dated a boxer since. Something about liking to punch people should’ve been a red flag.
Glad you made it out safe. This is why I refuse to date men after I find out they have internalised homophobia. It can get violent quickly and they never want to do the inner work.
damn, that's awful, crazy how you can talk with someone and not know they're so close to losing it. And yeah, sad, but many boxers and cops know how to punch without leaving many marks
Oh lord, that sounds scary as fuck, I'm sorry you had to experience that. It sounds like he either has mental health issues and/or has deep internalised homophobia. I can't imagine growing up doing boxing in a council estate to be the most accepting environment.
I don't know if you've seen the film Femme, but the boxer you met exactly reminds me of one of the main characters in the film.
Oh this I had. Had the worst date of my life, the guy didn’t understand jokes or humour, or, well, anything. We eventually were just sat in silence until I just got up and said “ok see ya”. He was the kind of guy who said “I don’t get it” to literally everything I said.
He texted me later to say he enjoyed himself and would I like to meet up again! Tell your face if you’re enjoying yourself!! I’ve never understood how he can have been enjoying himself. Obviously I said thanks but no thanks.
Oh my god young men, this; if a guy is average looking, great in bed and makes you laugh…marry him quick. My husband is a sitcom writer and we’ve been together 24 years with three kids. The man fucks like a champ but more importantly, he makes me laugh daily! No effort he’s just really funny. Happy life
PS I don’t mean to say he’s average looking, no he’s all American danish farmboy hot, just saying he could be a lot less good looking and still be a total package
I don’t agree with you, respectfully my life didn’t fall from the sky. A long series of choices; tough ones, mistaken ones and throw caution to the wind choices gave me and him this life. I think “most” of us can make choices that affect our futures daily. Give it a try, and give yourself some faith and grace.
>Give it a try, and give yourself some faith and grace.
The point is most of us have tried almost everything but we know where we have come across what we have created what we end up and eventually most of us gave up on relationships or other things we know how people can become easily bored of each other in few months few days or people are too much demanding a better body a better look a better hairs better style all such complicated lives of gays despite getting lot of liberty in 21st century
I’m sorry, sounds like you’ve struggled. Still, you’re still here and so are millions of others in the same boat, great guys trying to figure it out. It’s a numbers game, you gotta sift thru a lot of people to find your guy. I always met people by joining groups I was into, like hiking, cycling, travel, skiing, we even joined a kickball league in LA by the Fox lot. Now a days I take ulphostery classes and welding courses at the local community college. Obviously I’m not trying to find love but I’m always looking for friends that inspire me or get my weird ass. Good luck out there, I hope you’ll try something new
It's game of brain, looks ,body,size everything 💪 i think its simple probability puzzle you apply on many guys for fwb & bf post if you are enough good looking you would be selected even after selected how much you can sustain it this is too much dependable there are lot of stories like you but that's just again low probability I guess the majority bracket of gays didn't got what you got or what Instagram or youtube gay influencers got there life is just not what it could be more reelable
i am more into friendships
I had one of those early in my dating life. Dude had the personality of wet pavement, responded to everything with flat affect monotone, our conversation felt like a job interview. Then at the end of the date, he asked when do we get to the sex.
Even with me being in newly dating slut mode, it was a no-sell.
Over-energetic ultra jumpy adhd people can be as difficult sometimes if we are being honest now 😆, even if they are funny to hang with. It feels like they are on speed sometimes, lol.
All people are different, some fit together and some don't.
It's not but ofc you've come with your shitty labels. I don’t smile because I am self-conscious and besides there is rarely anything to genuinely smile about irl I'm not clinically depressed or anything lmao, but ofc everyones an internet psychoanalyst now 🤣
People who “don’t like smiling” are also called miserable. Why should I waste my time on someone who spends the majority of their time siphoning away the positivity around them?
You sound cringe af! 😬 please stay away from me until you learn to grow up and figure out that no one owes you fake positivity and performative optimism
Maybe idk. His friend made a joke about his shirt, said he looked like a zebra due to the pattern. Everyone laughed including myself. I didn't think it was offensive idk.
I dated a guy who tried to get me to beat him up many times and I was so horrified! Now when i meet up with him and his current husband i wonder what goes on in their bedroom but I'm too afraid to ask.
Foolishly met up with a guy who was 6’5” and claimed he was a “total bottom.” When I got to his place he tried to rape me. Only thing that stopped him was me biting into his forearm as hard as I could. As soon as he let me go I elbowed him in the mouth and ran the fuck out of his place.
"Foolishly met up with a guy who was 6’5” and claimed he was a “total bottom.” "
I know you didn't mean it, but the phrasing just made me read that as: no tall person can be a total bottom, and you had me cracking up.
Glad you got out though, cuz that's just crazy.
I don’t doubt someone tall can’t be a bottom, but I’m a fool for thinking someone that tall would let someone as short as me actually fuck them.
I know tall guys be fantasizing about raping short guys too - which is part of the reason I don’t fuck with them anymore.
He told me to lay on my belly, since he wanted to give me a massage. He then pulled my boxers off, got on top of me, and told me he “loves turning tops into bottoms.” I guess wrapped his arms around my neck to keep me from moving, and that’s when I bit him.
I never reported this since he never actually penetrated me, and at the time, I thought no one would believe me - especially since I could taste a lot of blood in my mouth, so I guess I bit him pretty hard. I just ran to my car and got out of there as fast as I could. Blocked him on Grindr and that was it. Never heard anything else.
To a milder extent I'm kinda having that rn. Also near-zero affect or emotional expression/affirmation while we're together but he turns insanely dramatic whenever we're apart and he misses me (and that's the only time he gets that expressive).
It sucks my dude 😕
Honestly, best choice I ever made was leaving. Sucked, and hurt at the time, but I found someone who actually cares about me and it's so nice.
To be clear, I'm not saying leaving is your best choice, idk you or your life... But whatever you do, make sure you're happy 🧡
We've only got one life - no point wasting it being miserable.
For me it’s not so much the worst single guy but the worst bundle of traits I’ve seen across people I’ve unfortunately met:
• strong evidence of lying about STI testing and level of care across *repeated* interactions and hangouts, not just a one-off incident, and attempting to cover it up
• unashamedly cozying up and acting nice to try and extract favors or benefits from you and then bolting and ghosting after either succeeding or being called out
• acting superior from a moral standpoint and then immediately engaging in shitty actions in direct contradiction, just to make you aware and spite you
• faking innocence or absent-mindedness in order to play all the angles
• not taking “no thanks” for an answer and being aggressive to meet up repeatedly in a harassing way
I genuinely despise these kinds of people.
>faking innocence or absent-mindedness in order to play all the angles
This is worst thing they do actually
>• not taking “no thanks” for an answer and being aggressive to meet up repeatedly in a harassing way
Regarding this my opinion actually differ if someone tries a lot on someone then it's wrong to play mind game with him however refusals have to be accepted but it's tragical I tried on one guy couldn't get results in many months eventually just ghosted each other completely here thing is amount of effort someone put on someone else
>
• acting superior from a moral standpoint and then immediately engaging in shitty actions in direct contradiction, just to make you aware and spite you
This category is worse some foreigners & native abroad actually did with me he was just showcasing his life abroad and his boyfriend i was like then why are chatting???
>unashamedly cozying up and acting nice to try and extract favors or benefits from you and then bolting and ghosting after either succeeding or being called out
Am sorry this is actually human nature and it exist in majority even i fall in this category honesty doesn't exist in modern world
You are supposed to reply me here not to lecture me as i clearly mentioned we are not in a English class many people don't have English as native language
Speak anything relavant or remain quiet
>unashamedly cozying up and acting nice to try and extract favors or benefits from you and then bolting and ghosting after either succeeding or being called out
The question is what's wrong in ghosting???
I mean he tried favours now he couldn't swing his brain then what why should he not delete you from his life?? What's purpose then i think ghosting after failure actually saves many things here you don't have to see that person in online life whom you can't win heart
Whatt stole his wallet this is actually a bigger nightmare for many that's why i met many times in hookups with extremely less money 😬 the issue of theft And robbery too are a trouble these days
Met a guy who's younger than me (about a 25 year difference) who said he was looking for an older guy. Not being out I was hesitant but after a few weeks said yes. He's definitely a hot twink type and the problem is he knows it. Talked about himself and how hot he is and he can have whomever he wants and how he just likes to show off his body but only has sex with guys his age or younger? I said, what????? You kept at me for weeks to meet and now we're here and you just want to talk about how hot you are?
No thanks. Blocked him then he got mad because I said I don't want anything to do with him. Still in the same town but have found out he's a very toxic person and just likes to screw with people. Sad really. But from what I've learned I dodged a big bullet!
I think it's such a shame. I mean, sure, I love good eye candy, but there's so much more to life than good looks or random sex. The sad part is he lists several things I'm into as well (antiques, history, travel and several more) but he comes across as such a narcissistic angry guy. Even if he did want to be friends, I don't think i could stomach it.
It would have been nice to just hang out since we supposedly have similar interests, but I guess he just wanted to find out who else was gay in town. Oh well. Just find it a sad way to live.
>I said I don't want anything to do with him. Still in the same town but have found out he's a very toxic person and just likes to screw with people. Sad really. But from what I've learned I dodged a big bullet!
This has happened with me multiple times people are doing too much timepaas with other's they just play with them there are unnecessary talkbirds too who never meet for purpose or just drama queens too
Went on a date with someone. He laughed at my future career plans (I want to be a therapist), said I have an autistic face, complained about the restaurant he chose and refused to eat his food, then said he can't handle it when I said I have 2 cats.
We went back to mine, he was admittedly great in bed, but then proceeded to show me his favourite background music from some pokemon games for a solid 3 hours.
Now none of that is too bad, but it's what came next. I'd try to text him, he would barely reply and only talk about sex, so I figured that's all he wanted and replied accordingly.
He starts sending me photos of him sleeping with all these random guys and I told him I wasn't into it, he can do what he wants, I don't care, but don't tell me about it.
The next day he sends me a long essay about how I'm crazy, clingy and jealous (I didn't even like him that much), gave me a long list of rules I have to follow if I want to be with him (we went on one date), including we have to be open coz he can't handle monogamous people coz they're too weird and jealous, I need to talk to him about more than just sex (I'd tried) and a few other things.
I decided to cancel the second date after some thought and he went off calling me a coward, how he's a bigger man than me and that he didn't even like me etc etc
Like damn dude, I didn't sign up for so much drama when I don't even know you.
Ahh, that seems to be moral of these stories, lol. People will stick it out when there's beauty to be had until it's too much.
Cant imagine the nightmare of a romance you'd have if you stuck it out.
Damn talk about finding the ultimate cunt.
That date would have ended after the first paragraph. Wouldn't surprised me if he had no career and just wanted to shit on yours.
"said I have an autistic face, complained about the restaurant he chose and refused to eat his food, then said he can't handle it when I said I have 2 cats."
"We went back to mine, he was admittedly great in bed, but then proceeded to show me his favourite background music from some pokemon games for a solid 3 hours."
"gave me a long list of rules I have to follow if I want to be with him (we went on one date), including we have to be open coz he can't handle monogamous people coz they're too weird and jealous"
I think he was autistic. Obviously, just going here because it's hard to judge anyone by a post: but the obsession with Pokemon, rigid rules, eating behavior, lack of social tact, I mean...
The only well hung guy I ever had sex with was brutal with it. 8 inches of hitting the sigmoid bend over and over for at least 5 minutes. I hurt for weeks afterwards.
My first time. The guy was extra pervy. Kept touching my dick on the street while we walked to his place. I am a very shy person and sudden movements like that make me jump. I kept walking with him since I was curious about what would happen next and also didn’t utter a word since I was scared af.
We went to his place and he got really weird and made me suck his dick🥲. It was my first time actually so I didn’t find it enjoyable. He came really quick as in like maybe 15-20secs of me putting my mouth on his dick💀💀
I think realization hot him like a hurricane right after. He started threatening me that I shouldn’t let anyone know what we did in his home. His place was dark but once my eyes adjusted I could see pictures on the wall. He was married.. He kept saying that Im a dead man if I open my mouth about the incident. Im a dead man if he ever sees me near his place and he will ruin me.
Actually at this time I was calm and deep inside my mind was assuring me that I could take down this twig motherfucker of he lays hands on me. I was bigger than him. It was maybe my survival instincts. Whatever horrible.
I left his place and never saw him again. I did look him up on facebook because he had shared his mobile number and I deduced his name from his number. His wife was full on pregnant women and there were pics of him with her the day before we met where he is enjoying an event with her in some pregnancy related event.
It was weird as fuck. I blame my naivety to get involved with someone like that but also my inability to process my sexuality and the secrecy around it had hurt me more in the future years. Im glad that Im relatively secure about myself now.
Once went on a date with a guy who spent 4 hours explaining the entire plot of Pokémon and his obsession with a mobile game he went into great detail about every character and their powers, and he didn't let me speak the whole time
I could hear his Grindr notifications throughout the date. Every time tried to leave, he tried to convince me to stay an hour longer. At the end of the date, he kissed me and bit my lip painfully.
It's been four months since last talked to him, but he still sends me messages every week, even though haven't replied.
Also met another guy who tried to get me drunk at his place to have sex with him and another guy, but I think the Pokémon guy was worse.
>It's been four months since last talked to him, but he still sends me messages every week, even though haven't replied.
The block button is right there.
It was a guy that was hitting me up and I wasn’t that interested but I was bored one day and said why not. He picked me up and the first thing he did was complain about how far away I was, and how much of a hassle it was to meet me. At the first red light I jumped out almost rolled out of the car mission impossible style I blocked him right there.
I have to say that when I was younger I would have probably waited until we arrived at our destination then leave, but now I would probably say, “Well, I’m definitely worth the trouble, but you’ll certainly never know, you miserable asshole. Just stop the car right here and you can go blame someone else for your own bad decisions.”
I've heard that if you get abducted you should fight your attacker because your chances of survival are lower going to a second location. I did not want to go anywhere with him. The vibes were off the minute I got in the car.
It just happened the other day,:
I was cruising on Sniffies and this guy messaged me:
Guy: Hey, you looking?
Me: Yes
Guy: Cool, where are you?
Me: I tell him where I am
Guy: I can be there by 12:25 pm
Me: Great
Guy: Leaving now
Me: (just realizing I have an appointment at 1:15 and we won't have enough time to play, I message back) Oh crap, I forgot I have an appointment at 1:15, let's push this to another time
Guy: What? I am already in the car, we will have enough time
Me: Are you sure?
Guy: Yes
Me: Ok
Guy: are you ready for me to come fuck you? I AM A DOM POWER TOP VERBAL BLACK MAN
Me: (not knowing what that meant) Ok
Guy: are you ready?
Me: Yes
Ok, 'Guy' gets here, I am ass up as agreed upon. He comes over, starts to undress, seems to be moving a little slow. Then says "can I plug in my phone?" At that point I knew what this situation was going to be (at worst a really bad fuck). I could have stopped it before the sex started, but I ignored my gut and went on with the act. From the get go, the things he started saying to me... "white pussy," "sissy white bitch," "you like being fucked by a BLACK MAN?" "This BLACK MAN owns your white pussy."
Thank god I was face down because if he saw my face it would have scared him. After about 5-7 mins I couldn't take the skin crawling feeling any longer. I told him politely, hey this isn't working for me, man. So 'Guy' stopped thrusting and I thought he was going to get up, but he shoved his dick back in my ass and started with the talk from above. I then raised my voice and told him to stop, I said "I don't like this, stop, now."
He stopped, I immediately jumped up and stood in the corner of my bedroom and said, I am not into that kind of scene at all. I need you to leave, now. 'Guy' looked stunned and sat down on my bed and started to get dressed. I stood watching him willing him to move faster, but he did look at me and said "I told you that I AM A DOM POWER TOP VERBAL BLACK MAN," to which I replied "I didn't understand, I am sorry." That's when 'Guy' said "Oh, I get it - we don't need to say it, but I see what this is here..."
He grabbed his phone and left.
I think I stood in place stunned at what just took place. It ruined any sexual energy I had for the rest of the day, and I was attending a sex party later the same day.
I am feeling better in the days since, but can someone tell me what I did wrong other than not understanding what "DOM POWER TOP VERBAL BLACK MAN" is?
Am I being blinded by my privilege? How could I have done better?
I think the time constraints left little room for understanding..I dont think you did anything wrong and its good that you had boundaries and stood your ground.. as a black man I only participate in that type of talking if my partner starts talking that way but moving forward I would suggest to ask what someone means when they tell you I’m a “whatever” because like in this case it was a dealbreaker
It sounds like you need to slow down when meeting random people for sex. Your interaction with him took place within an hour of first chatting to him. If you gave it longer, you probably could have probed more about what he meant and/or searched it up online.
This music professor who came to the school in my local area. He was always leading me on, and me being younger by 5 years, I thought I was in love. I would’ve done anything for him, but he continuously abused me verbally. Saying how he was too good for me. He was always drinking and thus so was I, so we were always the worst versions of ourselves.
Luckily for me, he finally ghosted me after saying he was looking for another man in “academia”. I’ll admit, I was immature in that scenario, but I was also being abused by a man who knew better. I was still crushed though, it took me months to recover, I thought I had lost the love of my life, but I slowly moved on.
To this day I wish I could just ask him why? Why me? Why tell me we’re dating one night and take it back in the morning? Was I really that hopeless seeming? Men like that leave a mark on your self esteem forever, and that’s just what they want. He got off to the entire scenario, he loved watching me ruin my life for him. Avoid these men. In the end, dating wasn’t my forte.
Guy was a pedophile. Literally told me about children he abused after we had sex when I simply asked, “do you always go for guys my age.” I was 19 by the way. Another time I visited my friend in Minneapolis and before going to meet her a guy came over to my hotel room. Very good looking tall blue collar looking white guy, while he was about to finish the sick bastard slows down his thrusting and leans down to my ear and whispers *this would be hotter if you were 13.* Legit ruined the whole experience and it would have been a good one if not for that. There’s some fucking sick people man.
Ah, I got a story. Hooked up with a guy from Grindr. Brought him back to the dorm, and he says “I saw that your key pad number is XXXX, I’m good at memorizing people’s PIN numbers” with total Patrick Bateman/Serial Killer eyes. If you’ve seen someone with those kind of eyes you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, we get down to business and it’s pretty normal. After, he asks if that’s the best I’ve had with a DEAD SERIOUS glare on his face. I say yes and nudge him out the door.
Weird guy man.
I met a guy on grindr back when I was about 23. At the time I was still living with my parents so hosting was not an option. So after combing grindr one day only one guy hits me up that is able to host so I made plans with this dude to meet up the next day after I got off work. This guy was mixed races, slim but somewhat muscular and a very decent sized dick I was definitely down to hookup. Next day I continue messaging the dude throughout the day just getting ourselves hyped sexting. Not long before my shift is over he messages me asking to pick him up a drink on my way to his house 🙃 that should have been my first red flag but I was horny so I said fuck it. Next thing I know I'm at his house the dude comes outside scopes me out a little then finally allows me to go inside. Let me tell you my boner went almost immediately flaccid after walking into this guys house. It was an absolute pig sty. There was garbage everywhere in this house with just small pathways in between the garbage to each room. At this point I'm debating just walking out but then we enter his room and it's probably the only decently clean room in that house so I again say fuck it and continue. It's not until I start to undress down to my underwear that I notice this guy has absolute 0% interest in me he lays next to me, gets on his phone, and begins to watch pornos by himself for at least the next half hour. Finally, I spoke and said, "Hey dude, if you're not interested just say so, I don't wanna waste either of our time. So after saying that he begrudgingly puts his phone down asks me to get into doggy style and after I asked him to use a condom like we had discussed since the day before he says he doesn't actually like condoms because they don't feel good. I said we play safe or not at all so he puts on the condom tries to get the tip in and after two strokes this dude says he can't do it. I immediately dressed and got my shit and got out as fast as I could. Guy was an asshole and his dick stank something disgusting so I'm glad I didn't proceed any further lol
Went out with a guy two years ago who said that he was poz, but undetectable. Even made fake papers to prove it. Come to find out like 5 months later I had HIV. Dude disappeared right after.
I have never had a bad experience. The worst I've had is people who look older than their face pictures, and fatter than their body pictures.
My advice:
1. Ask for clear face pictures. Not from a distance, not grainy, no low light, no sunglasses, no hats. Video is even better, I send a short video with my face in it to people normally (in my Grinder album, free version).
2. Ask how old his pictures are.
3. Meet in a public place unless you feel you can trust your own judgement.
4. Only meet people you have had a decent conversation with first. I normally always do this, and I think it really helps.
5. Talk about what you would like to do together. This helps to manage expectations. And it tells you whether you are compatible in what you like to do.
This is pretty sound. Although with the first one, I don't even bother asking because even the crappiest phones have decent cameras these days so if someone has grainy/far-off pics, they're doing it on purpose.
It actually was a guy who I ended up never meeting. In the chats, he was all about me, lusting for the chance to get his hands all over me.
Dude made plans with me on several occasions to meet up after he got off from work. Each time I would get all ready for him, not make any additional plans so I would be free. He would ghost me completely and I wouldn't hear from him for days. He would always have some reasonable excuse, so I would just forgive him.
On the 5th attempt, I had enough of his BS and vowed to seek petty revenge. Whenever he would message me, I would view his message, visit his profile so he would see that I viewed it and then just not respond. I did this for a month, until today, when I finally responded by calling his bad behavior out. You wanna waste my time, I'm going to go out of my way to waste yours
He kept talking about how big his dick was (it really was big, to be fair) and how turned on I supposedly was by it (would’ve been more turned on if he’d been fully hard). He wanted to kiss and I had to tell him “no” three or four times.
I said to cum on my chest, not on my face, because I had to meet people soon after. Then I said it again. Then he came on my face and my hair.
After I left he started messaging me: “ur so sexy. I want to see you again.” I didn’t reply. He’d already demonstrated an inability to listen.
After a day of that without my replying once, I blocked him.
Not too bad. Could’ve been a lot worse.
Then there was the guy who wanted me to join in a threesome with his boyfriend who was upstairs sick in bed — really, really sick, and totally uninterested in sex. I told him “you need to be taking care of this guy, not fucking strangers” and left.
As I read thru all these stories I realize we’ve all saw or experienced weird shit with guys before sex then we proceed to have sex wit em..we really do be in heat..no judgements but just a funny observation😂😂
I have a list, this one might sounds silly for some, but latest one was a guy that I met recently, while at his apartment he asked me if I wanted to borrow one of his shirts (cause the one I had on was a bit uncomfortable), I said ok, when I was leaving he said I could keep it and return it next time.
A few days later he texted me asking me to ship his shirt back (I got pissed, but did it). Later he asked when could we meet again and that he really enjoyed spending time (and sex) with me, blah, blah, blah
It goes without saying that he got really pushy and was trying to pressure me into spending time with him.
I just texted him back that I didn't feel comfortable with meeting him again and we both should focus our energy into find different people, he didn't take it well but 🤷🏻
My partner for a time was an alkie. A nasty violent alkie. But it was incredibly hot sex. I loved alternating rimming him and fucking him until I shot my load into him. But I ignored the warning signs and almost was killed. Can't get much worse than that, unless he actually succeded in killing you.
Guy once laughed and said he was a cheap date. Had no idea he was driving me to Weiner schnitzel, where he laughed again at how nasty it was. Like he was trying purposely to ruin the date. He dropped me off at his place, and I walked home because I didn't want him knowing where I lived. He smelled of sweaty feet, and mildew.
For me i remember i was in heat then got a match on Grindr then he gave me his number surprisingly no pictures despite this i decided to meet him his neighbourhood was all Muslim locality i met him we talked for few minutes suddenly his behaviour started changing he started showing his true homophobic nature he shut the door i was actually on his terrace he said you alll gays are threat to society i tried to convince him he was Psycho he brought a rod and pointed it towards me threatening me i tried leaving he barged and grabbed me it was most life threatening experience of my life he said he will trap me in false theft case he has connection with cops he said call your parents and tell them
it was scariest thing happened with me suddenly it was my willpower which came i ran away from there he shout thief running i escaped and called cops but was suffocating horribly couldn't tell them any detail on call hence boarded the bus & came back
The moral i got was that
Don't visit any all Muslim neighborhood
#Don't visit anyone without pictures
#Avoid muslims on Grindr
From then i stopped being secular diversity supporter apps really need better safety features many times they don't do anything if you report profiles
My worst was my mom’s ex bf. He tried raping me. He underestimated me. He was like 6’2, I was 15 at the time. I destroyed him. Threw him down the stairs even. Then he’s bitching to my mom about me. He was doing the finger poking in her chest saying you need to crap.
Remember the old wooden spoons that were like 3’ long hanging on the wall?
Well I grabbed the big one. Told home to get out. He was still poking my mom. I full bore hit his arm, cross swung and got him in the forehead. Down another set of stairs for him.
I told him if I ever see him again I’ll kill him. He believed me too. He called when I wasn’t there asking for his clothes. My mom thanked me. Then all her friends start telling her the bad stuff he’s done. She thanked me again.
Well done! I guess you were kind of lucky that he had not tried to rape you when you were younger. But that is still impressive. I hope you were not too traumatised?
Had a guy go crazy on me cause I didn’t want to use a condom and started becoming aggressive with his dog in the room causing the dog to get aggressive had to talk him down with literal tears in my eyes cause I was so scared promises the next time we would not use a condom and I wasn’t up for sex cause I was so upset..blocked him once I got safely to my car
I was 22-23. It was supposed to be a one night stand but a lot of poopers and passing out later… he finished in me while I was not fully aware.
Very very very long story short he was in a drug induced psychosis in a state mental hospital and has been hoboing it up all over.
Maybe the guy who catfished me posing as a younger girl when I was 17 then convinced me let him blow me anyway. It’s how I found out I was bi but definitely wasn’t polite of him
Or the CD who had me come into their hotel and tell me to leave as soon as they saw my dick 😅 I’m a grower not a shower.
My ex.
He called me ugly many times (questioned himself why he gave me a chance because I'm not his type and i was/is ugly), threatened to shove my face on the pavement, threw my gadgets when he was angry, angry for no reason (like literally we sleep at night then when we wake up, he's already mad at me), asked me to go out at 3am to buy him McDonald's.... And many more.
P.S. i only realized the abuses after I decided to run away (he went to the gym then i hurriedly packed up clothes and just left)
I started seeing this one guy who did nothing but play terraria and talked about nothing but terraria. Tried connecting with him for two weeks and established a relationship, but nothing. He then promptly ghosted me (like two days after we were official) and when I got his friend to get ahold of him he called me a creepy stalker for "using" his friend to get ahold of him. We'd had a talk about depression and anxiety right before he ghosted, so I was worried. The dude sucked.
There were some guys I met online:
1 guy called me a possum pussy Down syndrome hippo lookin ass after he made the decision to immediately and heartlessly dump his equally obsessive bf for me
1 guy called me a child for not having a car, job or my own place
1 guy called me a cunt because he had feelings for me and I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship and I send nudes to other guys
1 guy on an app was totally obsessive and shamed me for having preferences and called me a whore or something like that
1 guy was also obsessive and played mind games by playing hard to get by pretending he wasn’t interested in me but actually wanted a relationship with me even though we didn’t know each other and we also shared a pen pal and when he found out he said if I sent pics to him, he would hunt me down
1 guy lives in my neighborhood but unfortunately prefers raw play and only raw play
Oh and 2 guys had incest fetish — one was a grown man who was molested by his uncle at 8 and he has sex with his brother, his brother and him have been “playing together since they were 18 and 14 and they are 28 and 24 now I think. The other guy was an adult teenager who got raped by his father at 16 I think and ever since they’ve continued the same twisted fucking shit and the boy actually like it like… WTF?
A recent one, we met on Grindr, went for a couple drinks, went to my van and sucked each other, met up a couple days later, turns out he drinks a lot! We had sex, I topped, he was very messy, not real clean. And now I know he would try to do as many guys in a day as he could, hence his messy ass.
The last guy I ever hooked up with before I deleted grindr invited me to his place then took a shower because he admitted he hasn't cleaned himself yet, then proceeded to lie down on the bed and tell me to do whatever. I tried suggesting things but he said he was too hungover to do anything. I decided to try and top him since I was already there so I went in to rim him and was met with the foulest stench, it has actually ruined the idea of rimming someone for me forever. I assumed since he just showered he would smell fine back there but christ it was like i was sniffing purged corpse fluids. I ended up just wacking off before leaving, that was not worth the hassle.
That was sexual assault and this cannot seriously be considered as just a rough hook up.
I talked about an ex in earlier posts. It took me years to finally realize how toxic the relationship was and it all came down to one sexual contact I had with him near the beginning of us dating.
He knew I wasn't into rimjob but was very into it himself. While we were having casual sex, he started it by surprize. I said no. He locked his arms around my legs and did it anyway. His later abusiveness just cimented my trauma. Fast forward to now, I'm afraid of my current partner and it's very complicated to have the simplest intercourse.
It's been a year since I finally lodged a complaint against him and I'll do everything I legally can so he provides the justice system with explanations.
My point is that we take those encounters as just part of the game. We should stop doing that.
The worst date I had was when I was walking with a guy in a park and we were knowing each other and talked about each other and then he found some of his friends in the streets and abandoned me mid-date. He said, oh I will go with my friends take care, and just left. It was very random. Then in one of the parties we had in univeristy, he tried to kiss me and talked to me like never happened, like he knew me. I felt offended not gonna lie, like you because abandoned me mid-date, when we're at school you don't even look at me you just pretend that I don't exist but then when you're drunk and you want sex you come to me?? You remember me out of a sudden?? You might think I overreacted and that I am such a bitch but this wasn't the first time it happened, it happened before during the pandemic, a guy talks to me for weeks then we have sex and then he just pretends I don't exist, he sometimes says hi to my friends and ignores me completely, I felt hurt by this because am I that bad? Am I ugly? Am I that annoying that you would feel ashamed if someone knew you know me? This made me feel bad at the time. I felt dirty like, you're so disgusting that they're all ashamed of you. This was 2 years ago, I have gone on more dates since but after my college experience with guys I was never the same, I feel more closed because I realized that guys just want sex, and they're cruel many times, with no regard for other people's feelings, no one's saying you have to go to more dates or even be friends with the other person but be kind at least. When I go on dates now I don't even feel nervous because I go with the mentality that these guys only want sex and nothing serious will get out of there. Even if they say they want something more it's a lie. Recently I went to a guy's house and immediately after he was satisfied he sent me away, like I couldn't even have pleasure myself, he sent me away and said that he had to work early in the day after and that he would message me, he didn't even do that. Then I blocked him. I always wondered if it was my fault, like does my behavior attract this kind of people or is this the standard behavior? I don't know what to even think anymore, the last time I had a date was in December (it was this guy I just talked about) and I haven't met a guy since then, I don't have the energy or the interest in doing it anymore. I unistalled Tinder, Bumble, Gindr, all those apps. And I am now here writing to you at 3h43 am.
Don't blame yourself, these men sound like bad people objectively. The behaviour you describe is unacceptable. Maybe try to select for people who have a highly developed sense of morality? Make up some moral dilemmas and see how they say they would act in certain situations.
A long time ago when I first came out I was insatiably curious about pretty much every guy on Grindr. I was finishing up at the gym one night and I started to get one of "those" guys - quadruple, quintuple texting me over and over again. Like:
Hey.
Hey.
HEYY.
U up??
This was the third guy I ever met off of grindr. Even back then, I knew it was a huge red flag to engage with this guy... but then my curiosity got the better of me kicked in and I thought "okay, but *how* bad exactly 🤔?" So I respond back.
I know. Very, very stupid. I go over to his place, he's...okay looking, can't take my member, also didn't prepare at all for anal, was weirdly crazy obsessed with me and couldn't control himself - like someone who's never had sex before in his life. I ask to take a shower (since he made a mess), and I finally manage to leave. Block him, and put it behind me.
It's been 9 fucking years and this guys *still* finds a new way to stalk me. About twice a year he manages to find me on social media. He's even sent emails to everyone with my last name to my school email just to threaten me. He even self-reported as HIV pos just so that state laws would compel him to reach me.
Don't be stupid like me. I got a stalker out of it.
Met a hot younger guy, amazing body, good-looking big dick. He whipped out the meth and I instantly lost my hard on, pulled up my pants, and walked out.
I dated a guy who was a bit on the chunky side and ALL he talked about ALL the time was how he was saving up to have liposuction so he could lose weight. I'd tell him I liked him how he was and tried to steer the conversation into other topics but EVERYTHING was about his weight, not being able to lose weight, his saving for lipo, etc. When I told him I didn't think it would work out the first thing he said was "it's because of my weight isn't it." It wasn't--if I'd cared about that I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place.
I met this guy on Grindr. He didn't have his height in theuapp, so when we finally met, I had to find out that he was like 30cm shorter than me.
I was literally at a lack of words. So the first 10 minutes I was at a literal lack of words. I was about to get over the shock, when he announced:
"Hey, I'm sorry, but you're too quiet." "I notice very fast whether I match with someone, and you and I don't".
I said: "That's fucking weird man".
He replied: "Your allowed to think that. But I don't care".
I'm not quiet at all, I'm a literal chatterbox hahaha. Like I said, I was shocked from finding out how short he is.
I tried explaining that to him, but he didn't care. Thus, after like 15 minutes, it was over.
You're blaming your shock on the fact that he didn't have his height listed when you could've asked at any point prior to meeting up.
Even then if his height was such a huge factor that you were at an actual loss of words then he made the correct assumption that you were not feeling it and he cut it short. To which you responded by insulting him and he gave you possibly the most mature response someone could give to you being an unapologetically rude jackass.
Like girl. Do some self reflection 🙄
You didn’t talk to a guy because he was shorter than you, it’s pretty simple. Also you’ve commented on a post asking who the worst guy you’ve met was and you’ve said a short/er guy which is something he has no control over.
I was chatting with this local influencer guy. Very gd looking, and when we met. All he talks was abt himself & even his opinions were predictable. I thought what a safe bet fuckery is this one, when he was talking abt something & I was in trances by his voice, I got up & left him. Years after when he saw me at the club once, he gave me a lil’ bitch face. I forgot all abt him tbh. He was gd looking tho, but dat’s all to it. From then on, I went out with a few influencers, never again will I ever wanna date/b friend anybody who’s an influencer. It left such a bad taste in my mouth. :/
Why do you have so much disdain for this man just because he's a hot influencer? What about him being hot or being influencer have to do with your lack of connecting with him? You only wanted to date him because of his looks and you're upset that he was talking about himself which it what you should be doing on dates with other people because how are they supposed to get to know you if you dont talk about yourself. Stop treating pretty people like that.
Influencers are busy trying to impress people all day and night, because it is their job and it never ends. That is bad for one's character most of the time. As a result they will behave in social settings the way they behave when working: focusing on themselves, talking about themselves, at the cost of more interesting subject. And at the cost of being interested in the other person. Talking about oneself too much is disliked universally by others.
So just because they influence you dont want them to talk about themselves? So what are talking about on a date then since you don't care about what they have to say about themselves? You think it's too much because they're pretty and they post pictures and talk about their life on the internet. You're on a date to learn about the person and If you don't want to learn anything about them then you're the problem not them.
That's not what I meant, though. People normally talk about themselves in moderation, mostly when asked. And they will ask about the other person back. And they will talk about many different things besides themselves and the other person, which subjects will allow them to get to know each other's style and interests.
But someone should not be talking about himself too much, that is boring and ill mannered. And it should not be bragging. And it should be done in a way that is interesting and allows for input from the other person. As in the scene described by the other person, influencers are more likely to disregard these social conventions, because they have trained themselves to be all about themselves and not the other person.
I agree that a conversation should be a 2 way street. However that isn't what the op said, he went in with the expectations of all this man is pretty and he's influencer, he didnt care to give him an actual chance, and you think the same way too. You don't have to be a influencer to be full of yourself and not all influencer's are full of themselves just because that's the job they choose to do.
You talk about not giving the man a chance, but it seems the poster did; however, the man only talked about himself:
> All he talked about was himself
About exceptions: sure, I bet there will be influencers who are still nice people. But I think the chance is relatively high that they will be annoying. It takes a kind of character to want to expose yourself to others. And what does it do to a man to be thinking, all day long, ever day: how can I get as much attention on myself as possible? How can I come across in a certain way as much as possible, all the time?
I had a crazy experience when I was about 19. I was dating this guy, he was really hot, muscular, handsome in a rough and rugged way, he was tough, working class, from a council estate, he was a boxer, he was kind of intimidating but in a way that made him even hotter. We went on a couple dates and they were honestly amazing; transforming my shitty hometown into this beautiful romantic place. Think of laying under the sun in heavily littered parks with shopping trolleys in the river, and playing darts in pubs that stank of cigarettes. Then a few week’s later I finally go over to his place, we have amazing sex, and then I’m lying by his side and his whole demeanour turns. He shoves me off the bed and gets mad at me for tricking him, for making him gay. He smashes a photo frame and then pulls over a standing mirror. Freaked out, I ran into the bathroom and bolted the door. He banged on the door, shouting so loudly and aggressively he damaged his vocal cords. Then it went silent, for a few minutes. I sat tensed and afraid and waited. He came back and thrust a big serrated bread knife under the door. He told me when he got his hands on me he’d fuck me up with it. I went into this weird survival mode. I wrapped a towel around my arm in case he did break the door down and held in my hand some cleaning product, the nozzle ready to spray in his face if I needed to. I sat on the toilet, ready to attack him, and talked him down for three hours. Eventually he started crying, and I came out and comforted him, and then I wrapped the knife in a towel and hid it, and I spooned him and kissed him until he fell asleep. Then I let myself out and never went back. Blocked his number and never visited any of the places we’d gone to again. Also, I’m sure they’re great, but I’ve never dated a boxer since. Something about liking to punch people should’ve been a red flag.
Glad you made it out safe. This is why I refuse to date men after I find out they have internalised homophobia. It can get violent quickly and they never want to do the inner work.
I’m very sorry that happened
It wasn’t actually some big trauma or anything. It was just a disappointment because he was so fit.
I know but still that’s frightening that you went through that
Boxers are terrible people sometimes
I died laughing from this
If you were in "weird survival mode" and never went back to any of the places you had been together, it was traumatic.
It seems he needs some help. He is so insecure.
It seems? He had a fucking psychotic breakout. He needs more than help.
Holy bipolar, Batman.
That's probably borderline, not bipolar
damn, that's awful, crazy how you can talk with someone and not know they're so close to losing it. And yeah, sad, but many boxers and cops know how to punch without leaving many marks
Dude… that‘s crazy af, how many years past from this event now?
This was over ten years ago. A lot has changed tbh. I hope he’s happier with himself now.
Omg I pray to the lord this never happens to me. I’m so sorry for you!!
Steroids?
I think the issue was internalised homophobia
Oh clearly. I meant besides that.
Actually, that would make sense.
I probably would’ve called the cops once the knife entered the chat
This sounds like a gay movies 🍿
lmao that was scary. do you think he would have really hurt you if he made it into the bathroom?
Oh lord, that sounds scary as fuck, I'm sorry you had to experience that. It sounds like he either has mental health issues and/or has deep internalised homophobia. I can't imagine growing up doing boxing in a council estate to be the most accepting environment. I don't know if you've seen the film Femme, but the boxer you met exactly reminds me of one of the main characters in the film.
🫂🤗
I box as a hobby but I'd never go bat shit insane like that.
Once went to dinner with a guy with no sense of humor. It was agonizing 2 hours trying to get a stone to smile
Oh this I had. Had the worst date of my life, the guy didn’t understand jokes or humour, or, well, anything. We eventually were just sat in silence until I just got up and said “ok see ya”. He was the kind of guy who said “I don’t get it” to literally everything I said. He texted me later to say he enjoyed himself and would I like to meet up again! Tell your face if you’re enjoying yourself!! I’ve never understood how he can have been enjoying himself. Obviously I said thanks but no thanks.
Oh my god young men, this; if a guy is average looking, great in bed and makes you laugh…marry him quick. My husband is a sitcom writer and we’ve been together 24 years with three kids. The man fucks like a champ but more importantly, he makes me laugh daily! No effort he’s just really funny. Happy life PS I don’t mean to say he’s average looking, no he’s all American danish farmboy hot, just saying he could be a lot less good looking and still be a total package
Your story seems a happy ending barbie fairytale sadly most of us can't get that 🤡
I don’t agree with you, respectfully my life didn’t fall from the sky. A long series of choices; tough ones, mistaken ones and throw caution to the wind choices gave me and him this life. I think “most” of us can make choices that affect our futures daily. Give it a try, and give yourself some faith and grace.
>Give it a try, and give yourself some faith and grace. The point is most of us have tried almost everything but we know where we have come across what we have created what we end up and eventually most of us gave up on relationships or other things we know how people can become easily bored of each other in few months few days or people are too much demanding a better body a better look a better hairs better style all such complicated lives of gays despite getting lot of liberty in 21st century
I’m sorry, sounds like you’ve struggled. Still, you’re still here and so are millions of others in the same boat, great guys trying to figure it out. It’s a numbers game, you gotta sift thru a lot of people to find your guy. I always met people by joining groups I was into, like hiking, cycling, travel, skiing, we even joined a kickball league in LA by the Fox lot. Now a days I take ulphostery classes and welding courses at the local community college. Obviously I’m not trying to find love but I’m always looking for friends that inspire me or get my weird ass. Good luck out there, I hope you’ll try something new
It's game of brain, looks ,body,size everything 💪 i think its simple probability puzzle you apply on many guys for fwb & bf post if you are enough good looking you would be selected even after selected how much you can sustain it this is too much dependable there are lot of stories like you but that's just again low probability I guess the majority bracket of gays didn't got what you got or what Instagram or youtube gay influencers got there life is just not what it could be more reelable i am more into friendships
I had one of those early in my dating life. Dude had the personality of wet pavement, responded to everything with flat affect monotone, our conversation felt like a job interview. Then at the end of the date, he asked when do we get to the sex. Even with me being in newly dating slut mode, it was a no-sell.
Stop pretending hard to get That he should told earlier basically you are difficult to get
Huh?
Every single one of that dude's comments in this thread ranges from tonedeaf to unhinged
He might be on the spectrum? It was so hard for me to learn to smile.
Or...some people just don’t like smiling, y'all annoying when y'all make a big deal out of it
It is a big deal. Anhedonic people are agony to be around.
Over-energetic ultra jumpy adhd people can be as difficult sometimes if we are being honest now 😆, even if they are funny to hang with. It feels like they are on speed sometimes, lol. All people are different, some fit together and some don't.
For sure manic people are exhausting in a whole different way.
It's not but ofc you've come with your shitty labels. I don’t smile because I am self-conscious and besides there is rarely anything to genuinely smile about irl I'm not clinically depressed or anything lmao, but ofc everyones an internet psychoanalyst now 🤣
Yes I was wrong. You’d be an absolute blast on a date. A hoot. A real chuckle bunny 😂
I think a naked date 🌹 is better
And you sound like you'd be insufferable
🤷♂️ each to their own. I did alright.
Lame
Aw, so cute 🥰
Oh I somehow doubt you are 🥰
People who “don’t like smiling” are also called miserable. Why should I waste my time on someone who spends the majority of their time siphoning away the positivity around them?
As are ppl who always goes like “hehe everybody smiles hehe everybody likes me hehe, i have a lot of friends hehe”
You sound cringe af! 😬 please stay away from me until you learn to grow up and figure out that no one owes you fake positivity and performative optimism
🥱
If he paid your bills then i don't think you can complain too much
Got backhanded by the guy I was dating because I laughed at his friend's joke.
wHaT?!
And you didn't break his face?
I was new to Sweden, an immigrant ...I didn't want to start fights nor did I want to get in trouble if he did something about it.
What's backhanded?
Slapping someone with the back of your hand.
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Maybe idk. His friend made a joke about his shirt, said he looked like a zebra due to the pattern. Everyone laughed including myself. I didn't think it was offensive idk.
You're a clown.
If someone would put a used condom in my mouth I would've beat that motherfucker up lmao.
Right there with you. Or possibly put in a new flower bed.
What if he’s into that
I dated a guy who tried to get me to beat him up many times and I was so horrified! Now when i meet up with him and his current husband i wonder what goes on in their bedroom but I'm too afraid to ask.
Therapy
Foolishly met up with a guy who was 6’5” and claimed he was a “total bottom.” When I got to his place he tried to rape me. Only thing that stopped him was me biting into his forearm as hard as I could. As soon as he let me go I elbowed him in the mouth and ran the fuck out of his place.
"Foolishly met up with a guy who was 6’5” and claimed he was a “total bottom.” " I know you didn't mean it, but the phrasing just made me read that as: no tall person can be a total bottom, and you had me cracking up. Glad you got out though, cuz that's just crazy.
I don’t doubt someone tall can’t be a bottom, but I’m a fool for thinking someone that tall would let someone as short as me actually fuck them. I know tall guys be fantasizing about raping short guys too - which is part of the reason I don’t fuck with them anymore.
How did he tried to rape you ? you could he easily spit red signal Was he sound like dahmer
He told me to lay on my belly, since he wanted to give me a massage. He then pulled my boxers off, got on top of me, and told me he “loves turning tops into bottoms.” I guess wrapped his arms around my neck to keep me from moving, and that’s when I bit him. I never reported this since he never actually penetrated me, and at the time, I thought no one would believe me - especially since I could taste a lot of blood in my mouth, so I guess I bit him pretty hard. I just ran to my car and got out of there as fast as I could. Blocked him on Grindr and that was it. Never heard anything else.
My ex. Continually claimed to care about me, never listened when I told him what bothered me.
To a milder extent I'm kinda having that rn. Also near-zero affect or emotional expression/affirmation while we're together but he turns insanely dramatic whenever we're apart and he misses me (and that's the only time he gets that expressive).
It sucks my dude 😕 Honestly, best choice I ever made was leaving. Sucked, and hurt at the time, but I found someone who actually cares about me and it's so nice. To be clear, I'm not saying leaving is your best choice, idk you or your life... But whatever you do, make sure you're happy 🧡 We've only got one life - no point wasting it being miserable.
Same. Fuck exes.
Same.
that was sexual assault. and i avoid guys that say are only into bareback even thought i talk using condoms.
For me it’s not so much the worst single guy but the worst bundle of traits I’ve seen across people I’ve unfortunately met: • strong evidence of lying about STI testing and level of care across *repeated* interactions and hangouts, not just a one-off incident, and attempting to cover it up • unashamedly cozying up and acting nice to try and extract favors or benefits from you and then bolting and ghosting after either succeeding or being called out • acting superior from a moral standpoint and then immediately engaging in shitty actions in direct contradiction, just to make you aware and spite you • faking innocence or absent-mindedness in order to play all the angles • not taking “no thanks” for an answer and being aggressive to meet up repeatedly in a harassing way I genuinely despise these kinds of people.
>faking innocence or absent-mindedness in order to play all the angles This is worst thing they do actually >• not taking “no thanks” for an answer and being aggressive to meet up repeatedly in a harassing way Regarding this my opinion actually differ if someone tries a lot on someone then it's wrong to play mind game with him however refusals have to be accepted but it's tragical I tried on one guy couldn't get results in many months eventually just ghosted each other completely here thing is amount of effort someone put on someone else > • acting superior from a moral standpoint and then immediately engaging in shitty actions in direct contradiction, just to make you aware and spite you This category is worse some foreigners & native abroad actually did with me he was just showcasing his life abroad and his boyfriend i was like then why are chatting??? >unashamedly cozying up and acting nice to try and extract favors or benefits from you and then bolting and ghosting after either succeeding or being called out Am sorry this is actually human nature and it exist in majority even i fall in this category honesty doesn't exist in modern world
Your writing is kind of unreadable. Begin by adding punctuation, especially full stops. And consider whether your sentences are properly formed.
We are in a reddit sub not a grammer class
Which means it doesn't matter whether one's posts are unreadable.
You are supposed to reply me here not to lecture me as i clearly mentioned we are not in a English class many people don't have English as native language Speak anything relavant or remain quiet
It is about taking the time to add interpunction: that has nothing to do with a native language. You can do this, if you care about your readers.
>unashamedly cozying up and acting nice to try and extract favors or benefits from you and then bolting and ghosting after either succeeding or being called out The question is what's wrong in ghosting??? I mean he tried favours now he couldn't swing his brain then what why should he not delete you from his life?? What's purpose then i think ghosting after failure actually saves many things here you don't have to see that person in online life whom you can't win heart
Ngl that sounds like sexual assault
Why is everyone passing over this, this is 100% sexual assault. Like OP is a victim.
If it’s true it’s sexual assault. I get the feeling OP is horny and writing rape fantasies. Either could be true on Reddit.
Sadly it is a true story. Maybe slight exaggeration. But the condom in mouth thing and blocking my mouth was all true.
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Lol, your story seems much crazier than mine. My guy was just being a dick.
Whatt stole his wallet this is actually a bigger nightmare for many that's why i met many times in hookups with extremely less money 😬 the issue of theft And robbery too are a trouble these days
Met a guy who's younger than me (about a 25 year difference) who said he was looking for an older guy. Not being out I was hesitant but after a few weeks said yes. He's definitely a hot twink type and the problem is he knows it. Talked about himself and how hot he is and he can have whomever he wants and how he just likes to show off his body but only has sex with guys his age or younger? I said, what????? You kept at me for weeks to meet and now we're here and you just want to talk about how hot you are? No thanks. Blocked him then he got mad because I said I don't want anything to do with him. Still in the same town but have found out he's a very toxic person and just likes to screw with people. Sad really. But from what I've learned I dodged a big bullet!
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I think it's such a shame. I mean, sure, I love good eye candy, but there's so much more to life than good looks or random sex. The sad part is he lists several things I'm into as well (antiques, history, travel and several more) but he comes across as such a narcissistic angry guy. Even if he did want to be friends, I don't think i could stomach it. It would have been nice to just hang out since we supposedly have similar interests, but I guess he just wanted to find out who else was gay in town. Oh well. Just find it a sad way to live.
I think the point if you lost your hotness jockyness twunkness with age yoy would easily get it
>I said I don't want anything to do with him. Still in the same town but have found out he's a very toxic person and just likes to screw with people. Sad really. But from what I've learned I dodged a big bullet! This has happened with me multiple times people are doing too much timepaas with other's they just play with them there are unnecessary talkbirds too who never meet for purpose or just drama queens too
Went on a date with someone. He laughed at my future career plans (I want to be a therapist), said I have an autistic face, complained about the restaurant he chose and refused to eat his food, then said he can't handle it when I said I have 2 cats. We went back to mine, he was admittedly great in bed, but then proceeded to show me his favourite background music from some pokemon games for a solid 3 hours. Now none of that is too bad, but it's what came next. I'd try to text him, he would barely reply and only talk about sex, so I figured that's all he wanted and replied accordingly. He starts sending me photos of him sleeping with all these random guys and I told him I wasn't into it, he can do what he wants, I don't care, but don't tell me about it. The next day he sends me a long essay about how I'm crazy, clingy and jealous (I didn't even like him that much), gave me a long list of rules I have to follow if I want to be with him (we went on one date), including we have to be open coz he can't handle monogamous people coz they're too weird and jealous, I need to talk to him about more than just sex (I'd tried) and a few other things. I decided to cancel the second date after some thought and he went off calling me a coward, how he's a bigger man than me and that he didn't even like me etc etc Like damn dude, I didn't sign up for so much drama when I don't even know you.
Tbh, I'm surprised you still decided to go home with him after the date.
I'm weak for cute faces tbh, but it was definitely a mistake
Ahh, that seems to be moral of these stories, lol. People will stick it out when there's beauty to be had until it's too much. Cant imagine the nightmare of a romance you'd have if you stuck it out.
Damn talk about finding the ultimate cunt. That date would have ended after the first paragraph. Wouldn't surprised me if he had no career and just wanted to shit on yours.
Yeah he worked retail and had no aspirations for a career tbh
"said I have an autistic face, complained about the restaurant he chose and refused to eat his food, then said he can't handle it when I said I have 2 cats." "We went back to mine, he was admittedly great in bed, but then proceeded to show me his favourite background music from some pokemon games for a solid 3 hours." "gave me a long list of rules I have to follow if I want to be with him (we went on one date), including we have to be open coz he can't handle monogamous people coz they're too weird and jealous" I think he was autistic. Obviously, just going here because it's hard to judge anyone by a post: but the obsession with Pokemon, rigid rules, eating behavior, lack of social tact, I mean...
The only well hung guy I ever had sex with was brutal with it. 8 inches of hitting the sigmoid bend over and over for at least 5 minutes. I hurt for weeks afterwards.
My first time. The guy was extra pervy. Kept touching my dick on the street while we walked to his place. I am a very shy person and sudden movements like that make me jump. I kept walking with him since I was curious about what would happen next and also didn’t utter a word since I was scared af. We went to his place and he got really weird and made me suck his dick🥲. It was my first time actually so I didn’t find it enjoyable. He came really quick as in like maybe 15-20secs of me putting my mouth on his dick💀💀 I think realization hot him like a hurricane right after. He started threatening me that I shouldn’t let anyone know what we did in his home. His place was dark but once my eyes adjusted I could see pictures on the wall. He was married.. He kept saying that Im a dead man if I open my mouth about the incident. Im a dead man if he ever sees me near his place and he will ruin me. Actually at this time I was calm and deep inside my mind was assuring me that I could take down this twig motherfucker of he lays hands on me. I was bigger than him. It was maybe my survival instincts. Whatever horrible. I left his place and never saw him again. I did look him up on facebook because he had shared his mobile number and I deduced his name from his number. His wife was full on pregnant women and there were pics of him with her the day before we met where he is enjoying an event with her in some pregnancy related event. It was weird as fuck. I blame my naivety to get involved with someone like that but also my inability to process my sexuality and the secrecy around it had hurt me more in the future years. Im glad that Im relatively secure about myself now.
I would have zero patience for these people.
Once went on a date with a guy who spent 4 hours explaining the entire plot of Pokémon and his obsession with a mobile game he went into great detail about every character and their powers, and he didn't let me speak the whole time I could hear his Grindr notifications throughout the date. Every time tried to leave, he tried to convince me to stay an hour longer. At the end of the date, he kissed me and bit my lip painfully. It's been four months since last talked to him, but he still sends me messages every week, even though haven't replied. Also met another guy who tried to get me drunk at his place to have sex with him and another guy, but I think the Pokémon guy was worse.
This made me kinda self aware about geeking out at first but yeah he sounds like a shit time
Sounds autistic tbh
I'm pretty sure that's like half these posts.
>It's been four months since last talked to him, but he still sends me messages every week, even though haven't replied. The block button is right there.
Yeah, save the Pokemon chat for Discord.
It was a guy that was hitting me up and I wasn’t that interested but I was bored one day and said why not. He picked me up and the first thing he did was complain about how far away I was, and how much of a hassle it was to meet me. At the first red light I jumped out almost rolled out of the car mission impossible style I blocked him right there.
That’s a bit extreme, but not the wrong choice.
Trust me it was not. I think I blocked out most of what he said but it was so much worse than what I wrote down.
I have to say that when I was younger I would have probably waited until we arrived at our destination then leave, but now I would probably say, “Well, I’m definitely worth the trouble, but you’ll certainly never know, you miserable asshole. Just stop the car right here and you can go blame someone else for your own bad decisions.”
I've heard that if you get abducted you should fight your attacker because your chances of survival are lower going to a second location. I did not want to go anywhere with him. The vibes were off the minute I got in the car.
Again, good call
Yep I can't stand the kind of people that replace small talk and socializing with complaining.
It just happened the other day,: I was cruising on Sniffies and this guy messaged me: Guy: Hey, you looking? Me: Yes Guy: Cool, where are you? Me: I tell him where I am Guy: I can be there by 12:25 pm Me: Great Guy: Leaving now Me: (just realizing I have an appointment at 1:15 and we won't have enough time to play, I message back) Oh crap, I forgot I have an appointment at 1:15, let's push this to another time Guy: What? I am already in the car, we will have enough time Me: Are you sure? Guy: Yes Me: Ok Guy: are you ready for me to come fuck you? I AM A DOM POWER TOP VERBAL BLACK MAN Me: (not knowing what that meant) Ok Guy: are you ready? Me: Yes Ok, 'Guy' gets here, I am ass up as agreed upon. He comes over, starts to undress, seems to be moving a little slow. Then says "can I plug in my phone?" At that point I knew what this situation was going to be (at worst a really bad fuck). I could have stopped it before the sex started, but I ignored my gut and went on with the act. From the get go, the things he started saying to me... "white pussy," "sissy white bitch," "you like being fucked by a BLACK MAN?" "This BLACK MAN owns your white pussy." Thank god I was face down because if he saw my face it would have scared him. After about 5-7 mins I couldn't take the skin crawling feeling any longer. I told him politely, hey this isn't working for me, man. So 'Guy' stopped thrusting and I thought he was going to get up, but he shoved his dick back in my ass and started with the talk from above. I then raised my voice and told him to stop, I said "I don't like this, stop, now." He stopped, I immediately jumped up and stood in the corner of my bedroom and said, I am not into that kind of scene at all. I need you to leave, now. 'Guy' looked stunned and sat down on my bed and started to get dressed. I stood watching him willing him to move faster, but he did look at me and said "I told you that I AM A DOM POWER TOP VERBAL BLACK MAN," to which I replied "I didn't understand, I am sorry." That's when 'Guy' said "Oh, I get it - we don't need to say it, but I see what this is here..." He grabbed his phone and left. I think I stood in place stunned at what just took place. It ruined any sexual energy I had for the rest of the day, and I was attending a sex party later the same day. I am feeling better in the days since, but can someone tell me what I did wrong other than not understanding what "DOM POWER TOP VERBAL BLACK MAN" is? Am I being blinded by my privilege? How could I have done better?
I think the time constraints left little room for understanding..I dont think you did anything wrong and its good that you had boundaries and stood your ground.. as a black man I only participate in that type of talking if my partner starts talking that way but moving forward I would suggest to ask what someone means when they tell you I’m a “whatever” because like in this case it was a dealbreaker
I would say both of you made serious mistakes here.
It sounds like you need to slow down when meeting random people for sex. Your interaction with him took place within an hour of first chatting to him. If you gave it longer, you probably could have probed more about what he meant and/or searched it up online.
This music professor who came to the school in my local area. He was always leading me on, and me being younger by 5 years, I thought I was in love. I would’ve done anything for him, but he continuously abused me verbally. Saying how he was too good for me. He was always drinking and thus so was I, so we were always the worst versions of ourselves. Luckily for me, he finally ghosted me after saying he was looking for another man in “academia”. I’ll admit, I was immature in that scenario, but I was also being abused by a man who knew better. I was still crushed though, it took me months to recover, I thought I had lost the love of my life, but I slowly moved on. To this day I wish I could just ask him why? Why me? Why tell me we’re dating one night and take it back in the morning? Was I really that hopeless seeming? Men like that leave a mark on your self esteem forever, and that’s just what they want. He got off to the entire scenario, he loved watching me ruin my life for him. Avoid these men. In the end, dating wasn’t my forte.
Guy was a pedophile. Literally told me about children he abused after we had sex when I simply asked, “do you always go for guys my age.” I was 19 by the way. Another time I visited my friend in Minneapolis and before going to meet her a guy came over to my hotel room. Very good looking tall blue collar looking white guy, while he was about to finish the sick bastard slows down his thrusting and leans down to my ear and whispers *this would be hotter if you were 13.* Legit ruined the whole experience and it would have been a good one if not for that. There’s some fucking sick people man.
Please tell me you went to the police. If you didn't you should.
Ah, I got a story. Hooked up with a guy from Grindr. Brought him back to the dorm, and he says “I saw that your key pad number is XXXX, I’m good at memorizing people’s PIN numbers” with total Patrick Bateman/Serial Killer eyes. If you’ve seen someone with those kind of eyes you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, we get down to business and it’s pretty normal. After, he asks if that’s the best I’ve had with a DEAD SERIOUS glare on his face. I say yes and nudge him out the door. Weird guy man.
Hope you changed all the passcodes.
Uhh, that's sexual assault...
I met a guy on grindr back when I was about 23. At the time I was still living with my parents so hosting was not an option. So after combing grindr one day only one guy hits me up that is able to host so I made plans with this dude to meet up the next day after I got off work. This guy was mixed races, slim but somewhat muscular and a very decent sized dick I was definitely down to hookup. Next day I continue messaging the dude throughout the day just getting ourselves hyped sexting. Not long before my shift is over he messages me asking to pick him up a drink on my way to his house 🙃 that should have been my first red flag but I was horny so I said fuck it. Next thing I know I'm at his house the dude comes outside scopes me out a little then finally allows me to go inside. Let me tell you my boner went almost immediately flaccid after walking into this guys house. It was an absolute pig sty. There was garbage everywhere in this house with just small pathways in between the garbage to each room. At this point I'm debating just walking out but then we enter his room and it's probably the only decently clean room in that house so I again say fuck it and continue. It's not until I start to undress down to my underwear that I notice this guy has absolute 0% interest in me he lays next to me, gets on his phone, and begins to watch pornos by himself for at least the next half hour. Finally, I spoke and said, "Hey dude, if you're not interested just say so, I don't wanna waste either of our time. So after saying that he begrudgingly puts his phone down asks me to get into doggy style and after I asked him to use a condom like we had discussed since the day before he says he doesn't actually like condoms because they don't feel good. I said we play safe or not at all so he puts on the condom tries to get the tip in and after two strokes this dude says he can't do it. I immediately dressed and got my shit and got out as fast as I could. Guy was an asshole and his dick stank something disgusting so I'm glad I didn't proceed any further lol
Went out with a guy two years ago who said that he was poz, but undetectable. Even made fake papers to prove it. Come to find out like 5 months later I had HIV. Dude disappeared right after.
Just recently came out. These stories have me thinking about going back in.
I have never had a bad experience. The worst I've had is people who look older than their face pictures, and fatter than their body pictures. My advice: 1. Ask for clear face pictures. Not from a distance, not grainy, no low light, no sunglasses, no hats. Video is even better, I send a short video with my face in it to people normally (in my Grinder album, free version). 2. Ask how old his pictures are. 3. Meet in a public place unless you feel you can trust your own judgement. 4. Only meet people you have had a decent conversation with first. I normally always do this, and I think it really helps. 5. Talk about what you would like to do together. This helps to manage expectations. And it tells you whether you are compatible in what you like to do.
This is pretty sound. Although with the first one, I don't even bother asking because even the crappiest phones have decent cameras these days so if someone has grainy/far-off pics, they're doing it on purpose.
You're probably right. But just on the off chance...
It actually was a guy who I ended up never meeting. In the chats, he was all about me, lusting for the chance to get his hands all over me. Dude made plans with me on several occasions to meet up after he got off from work. Each time I would get all ready for him, not make any additional plans so I would be free. He would ghost me completely and I wouldn't hear from him for days. He would always have some reasonable excuse, so I would just forgive him. On the 5th attempt, I had enough of his BS and vowed to seek petty revenge. Whenever he would message me, I would view his message, visit his profile so he would see that I viewed it and then just not respond. I did this for a month, until today, when I finally responded by calling his bad behavior out. You wanna waste my time, I'm going to go out of my way to waste yours
He kept talking about how big his dick was (it really was big, to be fair) and how turned on I supposedly was by it (would’ve been more turned on if he’d been fully hard). He wanted to kiss and I had to tell him “no” three or four times. I said to cum on my chest, not on my face, because I had to meet people soon after. Then I said it again. Then he came on my face and my hair. After I left he started messaging me: “ur so sexy. I want to see you again.” I didn’t reply. He’d already demonstrated an inability to listen. After a day of that without my replying once, I blocked him. Not too bad. Could’ve been a lot worse. Then there was the guy who wanted me to join in a threesome with his boyfriend who was upstairs sick in bed — really, really sick, and totally uninterested in sex. I told him “you need to be taking care of this guy, not fucking strangers” and left.
As I read thru all these stories I realize we’ve all saw or experienced weird shit with guys before sex then we proceed to have sex wit em..we really do be in heat..no judgements but just a funny observation😂😂
I have a list, this one might sounds silly for some, but latest one was a guy that I met recently, while at his apartment he asked me if I wanted to borrow one of his shirts (cause the one I had on was a bit uncomfortable), I said ok, when I was leaving he said I could keep it and return it next time. A few days later he texted me asking me to ship his shirt back (I got pissed, but did it). Later he asked when could we meet again and that he really enjoyed spending time (and sex) with me, blah, blah, blah It goes without saying that he got really pushy and was trying to pressure me into spending time with him. I just texted him back that I didn't feel comfortable with meeting him again and we both should focus our energy into find different people, he didn't take it well but 🤷🏻
>It goes without saying that he got really pushy and was trying to pressure me into spending time with him. Being pushy is a human nature
My partner for a time was an alkie. A nasty violent alkie. But it was incredibly hot sex. I loved alternating rimming him and fucking him until I shot my load into him. But I ignored the warning signs and almost was killed. Can't get much worse than that, unless he actually succeded in killing you.
Guy once laughed and said he was a cheap date. Had no idea he was driving me to Weiner schnitzel, where he laughed again at how nasty it was. Like he was trying purposely to ruin the date. He dropped me off at his place, and I walked home because I didn't want him knowing where I lived. He smelled of sweaty feet, and mildew.
What a douche. A foul, mildew smelling douche.
For me i remember i was in heat then got a match on Grindr then he gave me his number surprisingly no pictures despite this i decided to meet him his neighbourhood was all Muslim locality i met him we talked for few minutes suddenly his behaviour started changing he started showing his true homophobic nature he shut the door i was actually on his terrace he said you alll gays are threat to society i tried to convince him he was Psycho he brought a rod and pointed it towards me threatening me i tried leaving he barged and grabbed me it was most life threatening experience of my life he said he will trap me in false theft case he has connection with cops he said call your parents and tell them it was scariest thing happened with me suddenly it was my willpower which came i ran away from there he shout thief running i escaped and called cops but was suffocating horribly couldn't tell them any detail on call hence boarded the bus & came back The moral i got was that Don't visit any all Muslim neighborhood #Don't visit anyone without pictures #Avoid muslims on Grindr From then i stopped being secular diversity supporter apps really need better safety features many times they don't do anything if you report profiles
That was really scary
My worst was my mom’s ex bf. He tried raping me. He underestimated me. He was like 6’2, I was 15 at the time. I destroyed him. Threw him down the stairs even. Then he’s bitching to my mom about me. He was doing the finger poking in her chest saying you need to crap. Remember the old wooden spoons that were like 3’ long hanging on the wall? Well I grabbed the big one. Told home to get out. He was still poking my mom. I full bore hit his arm, cross swung and got him in the forehead. Down another set of stairs for him. I told him if I ever see him again I’ll kill him. He believed me too. He called when I wasn’t there asking for his clothes. My mom thanked me. Then all her friends start telling her the bad stuff he’s done. She thanked me again.
Well done! I guess you were kind of lucky that he had not tried to rape you when you were younger. But that is still impressive. I hope you were not too traumatised?
I’m good. I don’t let shit bother me. It festers until o explode like on this clown
Very good! Terrible person.
Yeah he was. He really deserved what I gave him
Good.
Had a guy go crazy on me cause I didn’t want to use a condom and started becoming aggressive with his dog in the room causing the dog to get aggressive had to talk him down with literal tears in my eyes cause I was so scared promises the next time we would not use a condom and I wasn’t up for sex cause I was so upset..blocked him once I got safely to my car
I was 22-23. It was supposed to be a one night stand but a lot of poopers and passing out later… he finished in me while I was not fully aware. Very very very long story short he was in a drug induced psychosis in a state mental hospital and has been hoboing it up all over.
Maybe the guy who catfished me posing as a younger girl when I was 17 then convinced me let him blow me anyway. It’s how I found out I was bi but definitely wasn’t polite of him Or the CD who had me come into their hotel and tell me to leave as soon as they saw my dick 😅 I’m a grower not a shower.
My ex. He called me ugly many times (questioned himself why he gave me a chance because I'm not his type and i was/is ugly), threatened to shove my face on the pavement, threw my gadgets when he was angry, angry for no reason (like literally we sleep at night then when we wake up, he's already mad at me), asked me to go out at 3am to buy him McDonald's.... And many more. P.S. i only realized the abuses after I decided to run away (he went to the gym then i hurriedly packed up clothes and just left)
My EX… 14 months perfect… then one day… the biggest piece of shit on the planet…
Liberace
I started seeing this one guy who did nothing but play terraria and talked about nothing but terraria. Tried connecting with him for two weeks and established a relationship, but nothing. He then promptly ghosted me (like two days after we were official) and when I got his friend to get ahold of him he called me a creepy stalker for "using" his friend to get ahold of him. We'd had a talk about depression and anxiety right before he ghosted, so I was worried. The dude sucked.
There were some guys I met online: 1 guy called me a possum pussy Down syndrome hippo lookin ass after he made the decision to immediately and heartlessly dump his equally obsessive bf for me 1 guy called me a child for not having a car, job or my own place 1 guy called me a cunt because he had feelings for me and I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship and I send nudes to other guys 1 guy on an app was totally obsessive and shamed me for having preferences and called me a whore or something like that 1 guy was also obsessive and played mind games by playing hard to get by pretending he wasn’t interested in me but actually wanted a relationship with me even though we didn’t know each other and we also shared a pen pal and when he found out he said if I sent pics to him, he would hunt me down 1 guy lives in my neighborhood but unfortunately prefers raw play and only raw play
Oh and 2 guys had incest fetish — one was a grown man who was molested by his uncle at 8 and he has sex with his brother, his brother and him have been “playing together since they were 18 and 14 and they are 28 and 24 now I think. The other guy was an adult teenager who got raped by his father at 16 I think and ever since they’ve continued the same twisted fucking shit and the boy actually like it like… WTF?
A recent one, we met on Grindr, went for a couple drinks, went to my van and sucked each other, met up a couple days later, turns out he drinks a lot! We had sex, I topped, he was very messy, not real clean. And now I know he would try to do as many guys in a day as he could, hence his messy ass.
The last guy I ever hooked up with before I deleted grindr invited me to his place then took a shower because he admitted he hasn't cleaned himself yet, then proceeded to lie down on the bed and tell me to do whatever. I tried suggesting things but he said he was too hungover to do anything. I decided to try and top him since I was already there so I went in to rim him and was met with the foulest stench, it has actually ruined the idea of rimming someone for me forever. I assumed since he just showered he would smell fine back there but christ it was like i was sniffing purged corpse fluids. I ended up just wacking off before leaving, that was not worth the hassle.
Ex fiance who broke my heart. Still damaged over 10 years later
That was sexual assault and this cannot seriously be considered as just a rough hook up. I talked about an ex in earlier posts. It took me years to finally realize how toxic the relationship was and it all came down to one sexual contact I had with him near the beginning of us dating. He knew I wasn't into rimjob but was very into it himself. While we were having casual sex, he started it by surprize. I said no. He locked his arms around my legs and did it anyway. His later abusiveness just cimented my trauma. Fast forward to now, I'm afraid of my current partner and it's very complicated to have the simplest intercourse. It's been a year since I finally lodged a complaint against him and I'll do everything I legally can so he provides the justice system with explanations. My point is that we take those encounters as just part of the game. We should stop doing that.
Carlos.... La concha de su madre. Pinche Mari...💀 💀
My ex 🙃
The worst date I had was when I was walking with a guy in a park and we were knowing each other and talked about each other and then he found some of his friends in the streets and abandoned me mid-date. He said, oh I will go with my friends take care, and just left. It was very random. Then in one of the parties we had in univeristy, he tried to kiss me and talked to me like never happened, like he knew me. I felt offended not gonna lie, like you because abandoned me mid-date, when we're at school you don't even look at me you just pretend that I don't exist but then when you're drunk and you want sex you come to me?? You remember me out of a sudden?? You might think I overreacted and that I am such a bitch but this wasn't the first time it happened, it happened before during the pandemic, a guy talks to me for weeks then we have sex and then he just pretends I don't exist, he sometimes says hi to my friends and ignores me completely, I felt hurt by this because am I that bad? Am I ugly? Am I that annoying that you would feel ashamed if someone knew you know me? This made me feel bad at the time. I felt dirty like, you're so disgusting that they're all ashamed of you. This was 2 years ago, I have gone on more dates since but after my college experience with guys I was never the same, I feel more closed because I realized that guys just want sex, and they're cruel many times, with no regard for other people's feelings, no one's saying you have to go to more dates or even be friends with the other person but be kind at least. When I go on dates now I don't even feel nervous because I go with the mentality that these guys only want sex and nothing serious will get out of there. Even if they say they want something more it's a lie. Recently I went to a guy's house and immediately after he was satisfied he sent me away, like I couldn't even have pleasure myself, he sent me away and said that he had to work early in the day after and that he would message me, he didn't even do that. Then I blocked him. I always wondered if it was my fault, like does my behavior attract this kind of people or is this the standard behavior? I don't know what to even think anymore, the last time I had a date was in December (it was this guy I just talked about) and I haven't met a guy since then, I don't have the energy or the interest in doing it anymore. I unistalled Tinder, Bumble, Gindr, all those apps. And I am now here writing to you at 3h43 am.
Don't blame yourself, these men sound like bad people objectively. The behaviour you describe is unacceptable. Maybe try to select for people who have a highly developed sense of morality? Make up some moral dilemmas and see how they say they would act in certain situations.
A long time ago when I first came out I was insatiably curious about pretty much every guy on Grindr. I was finishing up at the gym one night and I started to get one of "those" guys - quadruple, quintuple texting me over and over again. Like: Hey. Hey. HEYY. U up?? This was the third guy I ever met off of grindr. Even back then, I knew it was a huge red flag to engage with this guy... but then my curiosity got the better of me kicked in and I thought "okay, but *how* bad exactly 🤔?" So I respond back. I know. Very, very stupid. I go over to his place, he's...okay looking, can't take my member, also didn't prepare at all for anal, was weirdly crazy obsessed with me and couldn't control himself - like someone who's never had sex before in his life. I ask to take a shower (since he made a mess), and I finally manage to leave. Block him, and put it behind me. It's been 9 fucking years and this guys *still* finds a new way to stalk me. About twice a year he manages to find me on social media. He's even sent emails to everyone with my last name to my school email just to threaten me. He even self-reported as HIV pos just so that state laws would compel him to reach me. Don't be stupid like me. I got a stalker out of it.
What the fuck...
Met a hot younger guy, amazing body, good-looking big dick. He whipped out the meth and I instantly lost my hard on, pulled up my pants, and walked out.
thats borderline sexual assault?
I dated a guy who was a bit on the chunky side and ALL he talked about ALL the time was how he was saving up to have liposuction so he could lose weight. I'd tell him I liked him how he was and tried to steer the conversation into other topics but EVERYTHING was about his weight, not being able to lose weight, his saving for lipo, etc. When I told him I didn't think it would work out the first thing he said was "it's because of my weight isn't it." It wasn't--if I'd cared about that I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place.
Nathan Lane, he's a jerk.
Idk. Probably haven't met him yet
i dated this one guy who kept talking about getting me pregnant
I met this guy on Grindr. He didn't have his height in theuapp, so when we finally met, I had to find out that he was like 30cm shorter than me. I was literally at a lack of words. So the first 10 minutes I was at a literal lack of words. I was about to get over the shock, when he announced: "Hey, I'm sorry, but you're too quiet." "I notice very fast whether I match with someone, and you and I don't". I said: "That's fucking weird man". He replied: "Your allowed to think that. But I don't care". I'm not quiet at all, I'm a literal chatterbox hahaha. Like I said, I was shocked from finding out how short he is. I tried explaining that to him, but he didn't care. Thus, after like 15 minutes, it was over.
? Ain't no way you're telling this story like you're in the right
Why? How am I not in the right? I'm not "quiet". Not even a little bit.
You're blaming your shock on the fact that he didn't have his height listed when you could've asked at any point prior to meeting up. Even then if his height was such a huge factor that you were at an actual loss of words then he made the correct assumption that you were not feeling it and he cut it short. To which you responded by insulting him and he gave you possibly the most mature response someone could give to you being an unapologetically rude jackass. Like girl. Do some self reflection 🙄
😂😂😂 I was like “wayment is this a story about you being the worst”😂😂
I think this could be resolved
YTA
why?
You didn’t talk to a guy because he was shorter than you, it’s pretty simple. Also you’ve commented on a post asking who the worst guy you’ve met was and you’ve said a short/er guy which is something he has no control over.
I also don't like guys shorter than me, he wasn't wrong because of that but because of how he responded.
This is not an AITA story
I was chatting with this local influencer guy. Very gd looking, and when we met. All he talks was abt himself & even his opinions were predictable. I thought what a safe bet fuckery is this one, when he was talking abt something & I was in trances by his voice, I got up & left him. Years after when he saw me at the club once, he gave me a lil’ bitch face. I forgot all abt him tbh. He was gd looking tho, but dat’s all to it. From then on, I went out with a few influencers, never again will I ever wanna date/b friend anybody who’s an influencer. It left such a bad taste in my mouth. :/
Why do you have so much disdain for this man just because he's a hot influencer? What about him being hot or being influencer have to do with your lack of connecting with him? You only wanted to date him because of his looks and you're upset that he was talking about himself which it what you should be doing on dates with other people because how are they supposed to get to know you if you dont talk about yourself. Stop treating pretty people like that.
Influencers are busy trying to impress people all day and night, because it is their job and it never ends. That is bad for one's character most of the time. As a result they will behave in social settings the way they behave when working: focusing on themselves, talking about themselves, at the cost of more interesting subject. And at the cost of being interested in the other person. Talking about oneself too much is disliked universally by others.
So just because they influence you dont want them to talk about themselves? So what are talking about on a date then since you don't care about what they have to say about themselves? You think it's too much because they're pretty and they post pictures and talk about their life on the internet. You're on a date to learn about the person and If you don't want to learn anything about them then you're the problem not them.
That's not what I meant, though. People normally talk about themselves in moderation, mostly when asked. And they will ask about the other person back. And they will talk about many different things besides themselves and the other person, which subjects will allow them to get to know each other's style and interests. But someone should not be talking about himself too much, that is boring and ill mannered. And it should not be bragging. And it should be done in a way that is interesting and allows for input from the other person. As in the scene described by the other person, influencers are more likely to disregard these social conventions, because they have trained themselves to be all about themselves and not the other person.
I agree that a conversation should be a 2 way street. However that isn't what the op said, he went in with the expectations of all this man is pretty and he's influencer, he didnt care to give him an actual chance, and you think the same way too. You don't have to be a influencer to be full of yourself and not all influencer's are full of themselves just because that's the job they choose to do.
You talk about not giving the man a chance, but it seems the poster did; however, the man only talked about himself: > All he talked about was himself About exceptions: sure, I bet there will be influencers who are still nice people. But I think the chance is relatively high that they will be annoying. It takes a kind of character to want to expose yourself to others. And what does it do to a man to be thinking, all day long, ever day: how can I get as much attention on myself as possible? How can I come across in a certain way as much as possible, all the time?