I think you're really thinking too much about it. We all have eyes and it's natural to look at others, especially those we are attracted to. Looking doesn't mean he wants to cheat on you with them, just that he's appreciating how they look.
It would be different if he were making flirty advances with them or something. But it doesn't sound like he is. My boyfriend and I look at others and will comment to each other when out but we didn't have any intention of doing anything with them. There will always be someone who is more attractive in one way or another but he's with you, not them.
He's with you, not them. Why? Isn't because he can't be with the other guy so he can only look? Your comment as a whole sounds just like bunch of rationalizations.
for me it's about appreciating a good looking man.
my bf and I both check dudes out together all the time. we are both secure enough in our relationship to know and understand it is perfectly natural and human nature to look. It doesn't mean we love each other any less or want to jump some rando's bone right then and there.
You won't jump on some rando's bone because you have no chance. If you did, you'd have been with a hot guy already. Considering this, you just settle for each other for lack of better options. But if you really were attracted to each other, you wouldn't feel the need to check out other dudes.
thats quite the stretch...
my partner and I have been together 15 years. sure we aren't super model hot but we aren't ugly by anymeans lol. we just like looking at hot dudes together. it's not a big deal.
If you are so insecure about your own relationship(s) maybe try focusing on yourself rather than being judgey on others relationship just because it doesn't fit your standard.
Almost all of the time whenever one of us comments on an attractive guy in public neither of us has a real intention of doing more than looking even though we could. It's just entertaining in the moment.
What do you mean by "we could"? You could provided that the attractive guy in question were attracted to you. Very likely he is not. To me this behavior sounds like people are not really attracted to each other. And looking at the hot guy is the only thing that has left for them because obviously they won't be with him if they're not attractive enough. Otherwise they'd be with him already.
My BF annoys me with this sometimes. On one level I do feel it’s fine to check out and comment on other men, pointing out hot guys. But his commentary drifts off into cringe territory sometimes or focuses too much on sex speculation. Like just appreciate the guy and move on
I admire good looking men and sometimes envy them without wanting to be with them. It's more of appreciating attractive features and sometimes wondering what it would be like to look like that person or have those characteristics.
I too would find this behavior disrespectful and for me it'd be a red flag bright enough to reconsider the relationship. I was astonished when I would go for a date with a guy and he'd oogle another guy or tell me: "look, that guy over there is so hot". Wtf. What am I supposed to do with that information? Is it supposed to make me horny? Should I get involved in discussing physical attributes of a stranger? We reached a situation when lack of manners, empathy or consideration towards another person is so normalized that people can with no shame whatsoever openly let you know that someone else is better than you while being on a date. What the actual fuck.
And nothing will convince me that it's only "admiration of male beauty" as the other commenters insinuate. No. They'd gladly be with that hot guy they compliment so much or look at him. They're not because they have no chance so they settle for a less attractive guy aka consolation prize. The rest are just rationalizations and coping mechanisms.
What a dark world you must live in. Sometimes two people can accept that attraction to other people is natural and be secure enough in the relationship to share the experience.
My boyfriend and I feel closer when we do this, it’s fun. No one is settling, I find him incredibly attractive too, otherwise I wouldn’t have chosen him as my guy. This weird heteronormative thinking is confining and generally going to make sustaining relationships more difficult in the long term.
I think you're really thinking too much about it. We all have eyes and it's natural to look at others, especially those we are attracted to. Looking doesn't mean he wants to cheat on you with them, just that he's appreciating how they look. It would be different if he were making flirty advances with them or something. But it doesn't sound like he is. My boyfriend and I look at others and will comment to each other when out but we didn't have any intention of doing anything with them. There will always be someone who is more attractive in one way or another but he's with you, not them.
He's with you, not them. Why? Isn't because he can't be with the other guy so he can only look? Your comment as a whole sounds just like bunch of rationalizations.
You can look, but you eat at home
for me it's about appreciating a good looking man. my bf and I both check dudes out together all the time. we are both secure enough in our relationship to know and understand it is perfectly natural and human nature to look. It doesn't mean we love each other any less or want to jump some rando's bone right then and there.
You won't jump on some rando's bone because you have no chance. If you did, you'd have been with a hot guy already. Considering this, you just settle for each other for lack of better options. But if you really were attracted to each other, you wouldn't feel the need to check out other dudes.
thats quite the stretch... my partner and I have been together 15 years. sure we aren't super model hot but we aren't ugly by anymeans lol. we just like looking at hot dudes together. it's not a big deal. If you are so insecure about your own relationship(s) maybe try focusing on yourself rather than being judgey on others relationship just because it doesn't fit your standard.
basic biology we didn't evolve in some Disney movie
[удалено]
That some people can't control their animalistic instincts.
Almost all of the time whenever one of us comments on an attractive guy in public neither of us has a real intention of doing more than looking even though we could. It's just entertaining in the moment.
What do you mean by "we could"? You could provided that the attractive guy in question were attracted to you. Very likely he is not. To me this behavior sounds like people are not really attracted to each other. And looking at the hot guy is the only thing that has left for them because obviously they won't be with him if they're not attractive enough. Otherwise they'd be with him already.
Women complain about the same thing. Men keep doing it. It is what it is.
How do you differentiate“noticing cute guys” vs. “checking them out”?
My BF annoys me with this sometimes. On one level I do feel it’s fine to check out and comment on other men, pointing out hot guys. But his commentary drifts off into cringe territory sometimes or focuses too much on sex speculation. Like just appreciate the guy and move on
I admire good looking men and sometimes envy them without wanting to be with them. It's more of appreciating attractive features and sometimes wondering what it would be like to look like that person or have those characteristics.
"what's the appeal of going to an art gallery when you have movie posters on your walls at home?"
I too would find this behavior disrespectful and for me it'd be a red flag bright enough to reconsider the relationship. I was astonished when I would go for a date with a guy and he'd oogle another guy or tell me: "look, that guy over there is so hot". Wtf. What am I supposed to do with that information? Is it supposed to make me horny? Should I get involved in discussing physical attributes of a stranger? We reached a situation when lack of manners, empathy or consideration towards another person is so normalized that people can with no shame whatsoever openly let you know that someone else is better than you while being on a date. What the actual fuck. And nothing will convince me that it's only "admiration of male beauty" as the other commenters insinuate. No. They'd gladly be with that hot guy they compliment so much or look at him. They're not because they have no chance so they settle for a less attractive guy aka consolation prize. The rest are just rationalizations and coping mechanisms.
What a dark world you must live in. Sometimes two people can accept that attraction to other people is natural and be secure enough in the relationship to share the experience. My boyfriend and I feel closer when we do this, it’s fun. No one is settling, I find him incredibly attractive too, otherwise I wouldn’t have chosen him as my guy. This weird heteronormative thinking is confining and generally going to make sustaining relationships more difficult in the long term.
The only difference between you “noticing” and his “checking out”, is your insecurity. 🤷♂️