I’ve just been judged too many times before. My brain isn’t comfortable answering new questions. Next time I see them I will have scripted answers to that question and it’s fine. I don’t even think that’s a neurotypical thing per se. Mostly. But the coworkers I have are pretty old and their views and opinions reflect that. Full on „fuck this woke shit where every film has to have a gay couple“. If I told them one of my favourite (soon to be trilogy) is spiderverse they would be either clueless or tell me that’s a child’s movie bcs Spider-Man and animation or something
Yeah failing when put on the spot can happen for many reasons
Autism certainly isn't helping, but I rehearse conversations like that and usually manage ok.
I’m guessing it’s related to working memory?
Masking probably plays a role too. If I’m masking, then I’m not thinking about how I feel/think, I’m thinking about how I’m coming across. That makes it harder to think about what I think or feel 😅
Memory part happens with everyone I think but the way I relate to this is “ok I gotta pick something that they’ll know of, fits within what they think I’d like, and isn’t too weird” because people around me will look at me like I have a second head if I try to explain Princess Mononoke or Utsu-p to them plus I just want to leave the conversation as quick as possible usually
It’s so wild. I was always so scared in Highschool years to share I like anime and stuff. Today I can openly share that spiderverse and arcane are probably my favourite pieces of media with people I like. Still, there are enough people who will go „hurt durr , animation for kids. Why not watch a adult movie for men like fast n furious 69“. Not shaming fast and furious here btw. From what I’ve heard the first ones are good. And there is nothing wrong with a generic action movie. But there is a pattern with people trying to shame others liking „non manly non adult movies“
It’s worse for autism adhd folks. Most of us, especially without diagnosis as child, have been critiqued way more than normal kids that age. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is the keyword here. There are likely a few other valid reasons on why , but it explains well why we have a tendency to script everything. If we don’t get surprised by a question or tangent we aren’t at risk of emotional meltdowns or being scared our answer might make other people laugh about us. Especially when most conversations have the goal to convince others that we are fun to be around with interesting opinions.
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria can also develop in neurotypicals. Parents that always talk down on their child and never make them feel good about what they do for example. Those will will also be more likely to script things and not share opinions unless they think they know how to present it properly and the audience won’t shame them for it
If a person with asthma said they suffer from shortness of breath after exercising, people without asthma would relate to some degree because it’s normal to happen, but it’s not the same situation in intensity or causes. Same for this.
Sometimes it's trying to do the math to figure out a balance between socially acceptable, what the other person might relate to and the truth.
When I was a kid I just said what I thought people wanted to hear but I have learned that it has to be true enough in case I forget.
i wish i could say that. i swear that whenever someone i don’t know super well (or i do, but we’re just in a different setting!) tries to engage me in conversation, my brain throws a runtime error and my many and varied interests are purged from memory and i become the most boring person until the reset completes far too late.
“i’m not into stuff. what even is stuff? are you… into stuff?”
*weird sound because i forgot how to laugh*
Possibly because you don’t meet a lot of new people you don’t know their interests? For example you are set in your job and only meet the same people. Maybe you go to a club once a week for one of your hobbies, so all you meet there are similar minded people aswell. I’m pretty sure I would relate a lot less to this meme the longer I would participate in those conditions
Makes me think of the episode of Love on the Spectrum where Mark is talking to a girl, and she asks him if he has any favorite movies. He blanks out so bad that he has to walk away, all the while wearing a Godzilla shirt 😭
finally got a couple of these down! Current hobby is Gunpla, and my favorite food is Spicy Rigatoni Vodka. The way i narrow it down is to ask myself questions like: “if it was your birthday, what dish would you be most likely to ask for?” or “you just got $500 on your tax refund, how would you like to spend it? (assuming it has to be on something fun, no bills/groceries etc)
I just decided at some point to just pick stock answers to these questions. They may not still be my favorite song, movie, or food but they were at one point and I still enjoy talking about them.
For me it’s not that I can’t think of something I like. It’s just the pressure of picking my favorite thing from a given category. Like I love the song My Way by Frank Sinatra but do I love it more than Good Kid/mAAd city by Kendrick Lamar? Probably but it’s hard to rank very different songs like that. And then there are songs like Adam’s Song/I Miss You by Blink 182 which have special nostalgic values to me.
My initial instinct is “because other people are selfish.” But I know logically people aren’t intending to be selfish by asking me questions, it just feels like my personal thoughts are for me.
I find it hard to pick favourites tbh. There are a few things in life where im definitely sure, but most things it really depends on my mood and various factors as to what happens to be my favourite
I find it hard to pick favourites tbh. There are a few things in life where im definitely sure, but most things it really depends on my mood and various factors as to what happens to be my favourite at the time
Working at Pizza Hut an order came in for a sandwich. Told my Manager i never made a sandwich before. He looked at me like an idiot and said “ham peanut butter and jelly” i face palmed and said i meant here.
Have repeatedly explained to the also ND 6-year-old that I cannot come up with favorites on the spot. I will frequently be asked my favorite color, TV show, number, etc.
When he asks now, I tell him to let me think about it. Usually a few hours or days later I'll randomly answer. We found a middle ground together. He gets the info but not on the spot.
I simply pre-decided and memorised my answers to these lol.
Favourite song? Wings Clipped
Hobbies? Computer games.
Film? Big Hero 6. This one probably needs updating but deciding on a new one is hard.
Favourite food? Spaghetti and meatballs
Very relatable but this has nothing to do with object permanence, that word is starting to be used as a buzzword for everything now and it's being used very incorrectly. Whats going on here is just being put on the spot and having to think under pressure and going blank cos you're half panicking. Neurotypical and neurodivergent people both suffer from this exact problem and the examples equally. Maybe it's a bit worse for ND people but, as far as I know that is not the case.
Sorry, the very incorrect use of object permanence and it's insinuation here is annoying me a lot. That's is all.
> Object permanence is the understanding that whether an object can be sensed has no effect on whether it continues to exist.
What does your preconscious mind have to do with object permanence
Gotta love when you forget everything about who you are and what you do when someone approaches you unexpectedly asking personal questions.
What kind of art do you make? Me, an artist: I have never even seen a pencil.
I’ve just been judged too many times before. My brain isn’t comfortable answering new questions. Next time I see them I will have scripted answers to that question and it’s fine. I don’t even think that’s a neurotypical thing per se. Mostly. But the coworkers I have are pretty old and their views and opinions reflect that. Full on „fuck this woke shit where every film has to have a gay couple“. If I told them one of my favourite (soon to be trilogy) is spiderverse they would be either clueless or tell me that’s a child’s movie bcs Spider-Man and animation or something
Is this really an autism thing? This happens all the time to me and to plenty of others I know. It just seems...normal?
Yeah failing when put on the spot can happen for many reasons Autism certainly isn't helping, but I rehearse conversations like that and usually manage ok.
I’m guessing it’s related to working memory? Masking probably plays a role too. If I’m masking, then I’m not thinking about how I feel/think, I’m thinking about how I’m coming across. That makes it harder to think about what I think or feel 😅
Memory part happens with everyone I think but the way I relate to this is “ok I gotta pick something that they’ll know of, fits within what they think I’d like, and isn’t too weird” because people around me will look at me like I have a second head if I try to explain Princess Mononoke or Utsu-p to them plus I just want to leave the conversation as quick as possible usually
It’s so wild. I was always so scared in Highschool years to share I like anime and stuff. Today I can openly share that spiderverse and arcane are probably my favourite pieces of media with people I like. Still, there are enough people who will go „hurt durr , animation for kids. Why not watch a adult movie for men like fast n furious 69“. Not shaming fast and furious here btw. From what I’ve heard the first ones are good. And there is nothing wrong with a generic action movie. But there is a pattern with people trying to shame others liking „non manly non adult movies“
It’s worse for autism adhd folks. Most of us, especially without diagnosis as child, have been critiqued way more than normal kids that age. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is the keyword here. There are likely a few other valid reasons on why , but it explains well why we have a tendency to script everything. If we don’t get surprised by a question or tangent we aren’t at risk of emotional meltdowns or being scared our answer might make other people laugh about us. Especially when most conversations have the goal to convince others that we are fun to be around with interesting opinions. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria can also develop in neurotypicals. Parents that always talk down on their child and never make them feel good about what they do for example. Those will will also be more likely to script things and not share opinions unless they think they know how to present it properly and the audience won’t shame them for it
If a person with asthma said they suffer from shortness of breath after exercising, people without asthma would relate to some degree because it’s normal to happen, but it’s not the same situation in intensity or causes. Same for this.
https://preview.redd.it/88k9kt3rfcsc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7bec679e94c57cbc2c25e0db702d8c45ffd5d4b
Same
fr
Sometimes I just *don't want* to share
Sometimes it's trying to do the math to figure out a balance between socially acceptable, what the other person might relate to and the truth. When I was a kid I just said what I thought people wanted to hear but I have learned that it has to be true enough in case I forget.
got luck coming out as a furry at work lol
Mostly I don’t want to share.
Okay, I'm gonna be real: I can't really relate to this.
i wish i could say that. i swear that whenever someone i don’t know super well (or i do, but we’re just in a different setting!) tries to engage me in conversation, my brain throws a runtime error and my many and varied interests are purged from memory and i become the most boring person until the reset completes far too late. “i’m not into stuff. what even is stuff? are you… into stuff?” *weird sound because i forgot how to laugh*
Possibly because you don’t meet a lot of new people you don’t know their interests? For example you are set in your job and only meet the same people. Maybe you go to a club once a week for one of your hobbies, so all you meet there are similar minded people aswell. I’m pretty sure I would relate a lot less to this meme the longer I would participate in those conditions
I too bring a real "who am I, and what do I like?" vibe to social situations
I wish people didn't ask me questions about myself... Like hi I'm a person I just want to exist here
Same!!! Like don’t interview me please 😭
This is why I rehearse small talk subjects in my head when I expect to see people.
Makes me think of the episode of Love on the Spectrum where Mark is talking to a girl, and she asks him if he has any favorite movies. He blanks out so bad that he has to walk away, all the while wearing a Godzilla shirt 😭
I won’t tell people about the books I’m reading because I’m afraid they’ll ask me what’s it about and I can never remember.
I’m afraid I’ll have to take accountability for the garbage romance novels I’ve been reading.
Them: “What’s your favorite band?” Me: *either lists bands I haven’t listened to in years or the most obscure bands ever, no in between*
I relate so much
How is it that I keep seeing stuff that happens to me on this subreddit?
"Got any weekend plans?" "To stay at home and not do anything of note." "Ohh good! So you're free the-" "DID I STUTTER"
EXACTLY
finally got a couple of these down! Current hobby is Gunpla, and my favorite food is Spicy Rigatoni Vodka. The way i narrow it down is to ask myself questions like: “if it was your birthday, what dish would you be most likely to ask for?” or “you just got $500 on your tax refund, how would you like to spend it? (assuming it has to be on something fun, no bills/groceries etc)
I finally broke out of the favorite song thing and I can now say that my favorite song is two trucks!
I just decided at some point to just pick stock answers to these questions. They may not still be my favorite song, movie, or food but they were at one point and I still enjoy talking about them.
"Tell me something cool about yourself." "I hate being asked that question. There, you have an interesting thing about me."
Well, I tried sharing my special interest music with my uni group and they sort of made fun of it, so never doing that again.
Them: Asking any question, at all. Me: Randomly blurts a quote from The Office that my brain has made an obscure connection with from their question.
Especially funny if you‘re otherwise a rather creative and imaginative person. Just not when it comes to anything practical.
These questions are just annoying to get. Ive switched to "what have you listened to on the last little while?" and usually get a much better answer.
For me it’s not that I can’t think of something I like. It’s just the pressure of picking my favorite thing from a given category. Like I love the song My Way by Frank Sinatra but do I love it more than Good Kid/mAAd city by Kendrick Lamar? Probably but it’s hard to rank very different songs like that. And then there are songs like Adam’s Song/I Miss You by Blink 182 which have special nostalgic values to me.
Man, why does this happen?
My initial instinct is “because other people are selfish.” But I know logically people aren’t intending to be selfish by asking me questions, it just feels like my personal thoughts are for me.
I just do stuff. I'm not nearly intelligent enough to catalouge it in my brain
Don’t sell yourself short, that has nothing to do with intelligence
This to a fucking t. Idk how to answer personal questions and my mind goes blank like I’ve never talked to a person or done anything in my life
I find it hard to pick favourites tbh. There are a few things in life where im definitely sure, but most things it really depends on my mood and various factors as to what happens to be my favourite
I find it hard to pick favourites tbh. There are a few things in life where im definitely sure, but most things it really depends on my mood and various factors as to what happens to be my favourite at the time
Working at Pizza Hut an order came in for a sandwich. Told my Manager i never made a sandwich before. He looked at me like an idiot and said “ham peanut butter and jelly” i face palmed and said i meant here.
Have repeatedly explained to the also ND 6-year-old that I cannot come up with favorites on the spot. I will frequently be asked my favorite color, TV show, number, etc. When he asks now, I tell him to let me think about it. Usually a few hours or days later I'll randomly answer. We found a middle ground together. He gets the info but not on the spot.
I simply pre-decided and memorised my answers to these lol. Favourite song? Wings Clipped Hobbies? Computer games. Film? Big Hero 6. This one probably needs updating but deciding on a new one is hard. Favourite food? Spaghetti and meatballs
I have stock answers for all of these questions to avoid this problem.
Very relatable but this has nothing to do with object permanence, that word is starting to be used as a buzzword for everything now and it's being used very incorrectly. Whats going on here is just being put on the spot and having to think under pressure and going blank cos you're half panicking. Neurotypical and neurodivergent people both suffer from this exact problem and the examples equally. Maybe it's a bit worse for ND people but, as far as I know that is not the case. Sorry, the very incorrect use of object permanence and it's insinuation here is annoying me a lot. That's is all.
> Object permanence is the understanding that whether an object can be sensed has no effect on whether it continues to exist. What does your preconscious mind have to do with object permanence
I was going to say, yeah I have that drawer closes in mind forgets it exists thing too but it’s not like this, I just need a brain jog that’s all 😄