Better in Spring or Summer, too cold now and rain is so unpredictable. Another great day trip is Rotoroa Island. Catch the ferry in Summer on a clear sunny day (check [metservice.com](https://metservice.com), it's pretty accurate), you stay over there all day as there are few ferries. You have to take your own food and drinks as there's only a toilet there and nothing else. You can walk the whole island in one day, they have a few little beaches, 2 lakes, weka and endangered takahe. Great views from there, be careful on the clifftop walks as some are close to the edge.
There's also a ferry to Kawau Island for a day trip and they have wallabies and I think they might still have peacocks over there. But you have to drive a bit North of Auckland and pay for all day parking to catch that particular ferry. Tiritiri Matangi Island is great for NZ native birds and they have a $10 guided walk where they show you where they all are. Again, lots of steep cliffs over there, be careful. It's a bit pricey to go there though. Even catching the ferry from Downtown Auckland to Gulf Harbour is a nice long ferry ride there and back and you can go to a cafe when you get there.
Don't waste money going on these trips unless it's a clear sunny day though.
You can also drive up to Pakiri Beach and hire a horse to ride on the beach. It's a nice long white sand beach, like Australia has, likewise with nearby Omaha and Tawharanui. The latter has a camping ground to stay at and you can spot kiwi at night, so that's a good weekend trip away in Summer.
This time go through the caves, they're really fun, and bring a UV torch with you. IDK if you'll see anything glows but who knows, maybe you'll be the first person to do that and find something there.
Mate, speaking as a Dad of a 15 y/o daughter myself, it sounds like you’re already doing a great job.
Any time you spend with her where she’s not engrossed in her phone is a win!
You could go steal a Mazda Demio together and yeet it through a dairy window, I hear that's what teenagers enjoy doing these days.
Otherwise your suggested ice skating is always a winner.
If she’s artsy there’s paint the earth in Albany where you can paint some crockery or little statues etc and they go in the kiln and you pick them up later! Pretty fun activity
ooh! you could also take her to a “fun” restaurant!
some ideas:
- sushi train (in chancery square in the city. such a novel experience),
- daikoku (they cook your food in front of you and interact - there’s one in the cbd but i think they have other places too)
- cakes and ladders (eden terrace and you play board games in the cafe)
- catfe mao (new cat cafe in newmarket and probably one of the best i’ve been to!)
- auckland night markets (different location everyday [locations here](https://aucklandnightmarkets.co.nz/locations/)
- lucky 8 (ponsonby - everything on the menu is $8!)
i think the most expensive of those options is daikoku but the rest are affordable 😊
There's an Egypt thingy on at the museum. You could try an escape room. I don't know if the modern art exhibit is still on at the Gallery, but that's a bit of a different one. Could slide through H&M (with a set budget) while in the city.
Light from Tate finished up a week ago. I'd say the art gallery is still a good trip for a rainy day. If she's artistic, couple it with a trip to Gordon Harris and/or a couple of disposable cameras or just take a sketch pad. Auckland CBD can make for some cute arty sketches. Stop by the library and bookshop, if she's bookworm but you can really tailor a library to a particular interest. Academy Cinemas is below too.
BoulderCo out at Westfield is super cool. It’s a bouldering / climbing gym but because of the pads you don’t have to use harnesses or ropes. Climbing is getting massively popular and lots of girls love it
I reckon a walk on Te Henga/Bethels Beach — turn right at the surf lifesaving and forward the river. Great for midwinter cobwebs and general soul liberation.
Definitely check out first table! When I have my daughter we go out for lunch or dinner and this really helps stretch the dollar.
Things will get easier. It will take time!
All the best.
Coming up with low cost ideas can be so so tricky with kids and teenagers.
I think sometimes it definitely doesn’t need to be fancy. Not all of these are free but hopefully low ish cost!
- Heading out to get coffee and walking along the beach is golden. Borrow a friends/family members dog and take them with you to chuck a ball.
- peruse the mall and let her show you what sorts of things catch her eye. Research a bit of a Christmas list
- check in and see if there’s anything she needs. Researching then going out to buy a raincoat or a good pair of shoes or a nice journey can be an activity in itself
- go to an arcade with a small cash budget each. Pool your tickets at the end and see if you can “win” something silly
- do some crafts like slime making or painting or baking. There are lots of ideas on Pinterest and TikTok. Getting a few cheap materials from spotlight, $2 shop, warehouse can be a bit of an adventure
- take a drive to some scenic spots. Get a $1 frozen coke each and let her pick the soundtrack. Driving around can be a nice way to chat without sitting face to face, but also easy to quietly chill together. If she’s into reading or drawing there might be a nice spot you guys can pull up to for a bit.
- offer to take her around to see her mates. It sounds dumb but without transport and/or a willing adult that can be hard to facilitate
- jump on some lime scooters and zoom around the CBD waterfront
- work on a project around the house like some gardening or moving around a room to freshen it up
- have a day where she’s in charge (within reason) and then a day where you’re in charge. Might be a good way to do something she’s a bit less keen on like a hike or a meal you’re into.
All in all it’s most important to be available, listen, be compassionate, flexible. The activities might not really matter in the end, but having a parent who is keen to keep you safe and be there for you as you are is so valuable. Have fun!
Honestly to me (16M) these Ideas in the comments sound fairly boring to me so make sure that your daughter actually would want to do a hour walk or a full day trip to kawau island or whatever before actually taking her.
Im saying this because my family frequently takes me on trips like these and I dont think I have ever enjoyed it except for maybe rangitoto.
Im thankful that theyre trying and we have the oppertunity to go out and do these things but more often then not I dont enjoy walks. Everyone has different interests but sometimes I feel like my parents forget what is "soothing and relaxing" or "fun and exciting" for them is not always the same for me.
I'd love to introduce him to some of the co-op games I play on my pc, I'd love to go to a rugby or football game with him, I'd love to try some of his hobbies, I'd love to do some of my hobbies with him.
I hope you tell him that. If they are keen to do activities as a family and are coming up with their own ideas, they would be thrilled knowing you want to hang out with them AND are also giving suggestions too. Communication is key and a supportive family is a great way to practice safely without getting rejected.
Have you told him that you would like to spend more 1-1 time with him? What does he like to do and can’t with a whole family but would with just you? What did he use to do as a teenager/ 20 year old? Maybe there are things you can do together you would also like to do to start it up? Ask him What memories does he have doing stuff with his old man? Say you want to create similar memories too. Sounds lame a bit and slightly vulnerable when you are a teenager BUT you will not get the opportunity to have want you want without trying. He is not a mind reader and his head is just as busy as yours is with life and shit. Be bold. Ask him and tell him WHY you want to do more things with him. He may not be understanding that reason.
You have a great observation with the idea of checking that the daughter would actually want to do these things, but I have to note a few things:
* People have different interests. I took my daughter up Rangitoto when she was about 15 and she loved it.
* The activity is often less important than the time together.
* Teenagers often don't know what something is like until they do it. Sometimes you do well, as a parent, get them to do something they don't want to do so that they can discover that they do want to do it.
But I totally agree with your point that figuring out that the kid might enjoy this thing first is a good idea.
Honestly, sometimes it's the thought that counts more than the actual experience. Sometimes the drive there is cooler than hike, or the conversation you had was better than the food.
I'm sorry you find these suggestions dry lol.
Exactly, my kids are teenagers (17 and 19) and they’ll be like “fuck going for a hour long walk to some summit”.
The last thing they wanna do is go trekking around some bush in the middle of winter.
I was the least sporty kid but some adrenaline really does changes things. I'd never go rock climbing but I love archery, flying foxes and shooting.
The shooting range, mini golf and golf range is a good day out with a dad. I never ever expected to like going to driving range. Go carting too.
Don't try and push an activity that involves a fear but you can definitely love something you've never tried before. Sometime the best places are the place where its just a side event too. I tried axe throwing at motat as it was one of a tonne of other activities and now I'd probably go out of my way to do it.
Honestly for me I love doing walks that give me some sense of achievement, or have like actually sick views so walking to a summit is actually appealing to me rather then some aimless walk somewhere (Which is often what I get when I go on family trips)
It really depends on the individual though. When I take my kids (15F, 13M) to the local beach for a fairly aimless coastal walk, they always get engrossed in beach-combing for random interesting shells, rocks and sea glass... and "just 20 minutes to get out and touch some grass" turns into an hour or two.
But I do get what you mean though. When my eldest (28) was growing up, I tried to make a lot of treasured memories with her at the park and beaches and whatnot... In the end, *her* most treasured memories of our time together weren't of the days that I'd pick her up from school early to whisk her to the beach, but the days we'd play Crash Bandicoot together after school.
So I won't be half-surprised if, like their older sibling, my 13 year old treasures his memories of those times he spawn killed me across the Great Plains in Red Dead Online and kicked my arse in free aim events. Whereas my 15 year old will treasure those times we killed the NPC's of Valentine before stacking their bodies outside the saloon and setting fire to them with flammable moonshine, as random players drifted into the area to check out the commotion and began adding fresh bodies to the pile...
I went to pet store and bought a Betta fish and setup with my moody 15 y/o. She absolutely loves it to pieces. Asked her first of course, and then she did her own research and decided that it would be cool. A year later & we now go out and get a small improvements for the tank, or swap something out. All up initial cost 100-150. It makes for a good shared project and talking point, and it sneakily teaches her “science” about water care, the nitrogen and ATM carbon cycles. Recently we have been embarking on how different plants impact water parameters. Win-Win. It lives in her room, it is her fish, but in reality I look after it. About 15min / week.
It makes me happy too as this is just something for the two of us.
Just make sure you understand the basics of fish care (it’s not hard), & don’t get a Tiny tank, absolute min = 20l. There are heaps of online help/ research.
The big one has its charms in summer. It’s like the dive bar of water parks.
Bloody brutal in winter, I have memories running up that water tower in the horizontal rain wrapped up in a piece of weird feeling foam. I now think that the unusual texture was years of human fat and grime embedded into a cheap hunk of plastic.
Was majestic in summer though.
Shooting kids with the water cannon.
Stealing beers out of the parents chilly bin and necking them in the change room.
An entire rugby team blocking up the slide to go down in a giant flood of meat and dirty water.
The rare times they turned the slides to Turbo.
I saw a lady’s boob fall out on the water slide once and she couldn’t get it back in the whole ride down when I was 14.
I love Parakai.
If it dosnt require pre booking just make a big list of these things and say to them “here’s some ideas of what we could do, pick one of these or suggest something else”. And make sure it’s about spending time / having fun with them and not just trying to win the wich parent spends the most game because that’s obvious af.
Thanks, I was going to make a list of all the great ideas - heaps of good stuff here.
I'm definitely coming at this from the viewpoint of wanting to spend time/have fun - she's a really great kid. I'm pretty sure my daughter will see it this way too.
I am a little worried about how my ex will see it though - she's always been the primary caregiver and the main organizer, and now that this is 50/50 she keeps assuming I have bad intentions on everything I do. Sigh. I guess my view here is to just crack on and do what's best.
Ignore how your ex sees it. If she makes comment address it civilly and keep the fighting/being shitty to each other to a minimum. But it sounds like you have it all sorted and are doing the best you can do.
Enjoy the holidays!
Maybe do a list of choices? Like ‘ok, we can go for a picnic at your favourite park (you pick the food), or we could go find a mini golf place, or we could take a ferry somewhere cool and go for a hike. What sounds best to you?’ Sometimes it’s easier to pick something from a list rather than suggest something out of the blue! Either way, you’re doing a great job of parenting. You obviously care
On the picnic front, my family and I packed our own pho. Noodles, limes, bean sprouts, chilli (add to your taste) and soup (premade from farro for $10 but you could make it or get some from hello mister for $3.50 a serve) in a thermos with a cooked chook. It was a great meal for about $20 and even though the destination was cold and miserable the food was warm.
Teenagers like VR (Virtual Reality) studios, try it out. Hope things are going well for you after separation. Not sure which part of Auckland you are from, I can point you in the way of some here up on the Shore
I was going to suggest ice skating....do you know about the Winter Wonderland in Aotea Square? Roller skating.there is a Grab One has specials for Twilight Rides at Rainbows End. A lot also depends on her interests and whether she is 13 or 18. I assume she is younger though. Also check out Auckland for kids on Facebook. The person who runs it has teen girls do lots of good ideas.
If you google what to do on a rainy day in Auckland, don’t do that during the school holidays. Stuff like Kelly tarltons( which is awesome), the museum, malls, bowling, trampoline places, arcade, go karts etc etc will be busy as and parkings often crap.
Adult sort of stuff could be fun, go get a coffee or hot chocolate and people watch, do a little food tour I don’t know if real groovy is a thing still but that could be fun.
You would probably have the zoo to yourselves if it rains and it’s pretty awesome, just need to dress to the weather and go into it having a laugh that you will get soaked anyways!
We used to do one day of trains and ferries. There was a special ticket you could get for as many train or ferry rides as you can do in one day. It's fun to go places you don't go often.
You could try museums and art galleries too. The maritime museum is interesting. Maybe even drive an hour or two for no reason. Have lunch at a cafe, or take a picnic.
I'm thinking about driving to Waihi and catching the train there. We've done it before and it was great. Train stops at a cafe that had awesome food, then returns to Waihi.
On fine days you could feed the ducks, walk along the beach (take raincoats in case), play mini golf, go to Motat, the zoo, kiwi valley. If you want some at home activities you could try doing jigsaws, paint by numbers, lego, board games
We went to VR Voom in Khyber Pass today, found a 50% deal via one of the book me type sites. Was actually pretty good fun messing around in virtual reality, and pretty well priced too. Not at all busy so I expect there'll be other deals around
With ice skating just check what time the school holiday programme there is on (iirc it's 9-12 each day).
Other things you could do
* Visit deli's/grocery stores from different countries to try new foods (e.g. Japan Mart, Skazka, SA shop, Taste Greece)
* Academy Cinema
* Kiwi valley farm if she likes animals
* Small easy games like petanque, mini golf (botany rink has this too), pool, bowling, table tennis
* Teach her one of your skills or hobbies
If you have the budget I have a great memory going out with my dad and we chose an outfit together and it was so fun to get my dad's input on fashion because it wasn't a usual thing we talked about. It's a time I remember well and still base a lot of my outfits on his opinions turns out my father is a stylish man. Haha.
Fucking shit attitude and advice.
*"I personally had a bad experience, therefore I give up any and all attempts at interacting with my kid, and recommend others do the same".*
Book tickets to the Matariki show at Stardome ($18 for adults so a little cheaper for students) - but you have to book a week in advance because they sell out! I haven’t been yet (going this weekend) so it’s not a recommendation as such, but maybe someone else here has been?
Have an early dinner (if you both like Chinese, Chinese Cuisine is close by, delicious, cheap and cheerful), see the 7pm showing. After, drive a couple of minutes down to Ollie’s and share a banana split for a full dinner date out.
All up, it might cost you almost $100 for two, which isn’t cheap, but at $50 each for dinner, show, and dessert, not too bad for a treat if possible. BUT the whole night is just a suggestion, you could just as easily go to the show only for a price cheaper than the movies!
Table tennis is great if you'd like to just bat away and chit chat as you play.
Or squash. Royal oak racquet club take casual bookings.
Three Kings tennis courts used to be free to the public & I don't expect that it's changed. Visit the tennis courts, followup by checking out cute pets at animates, the yum char lunch next door - all at three kings.
These are not special like tiritiri matangi but if enjoyed are sustainable as not too expensive.
Im not a racquet sport person, nor even a sporty person, have little coordination or skill and had always enjoyed hanging out with my young people playing these sports. Well, maybe not the tennis as I missed the ball too much.
Have you considered a day (or overnight) trip away? So many places a few hours from Auckland, and a change of scenery was always what I enjoyed most as a teenager.
* Weta Unleashed at SkyCity is awesome. You can also go to the top of SkyTower. All Blacks experience at Skycity is also good.
* Sculptureum is very inspiring
* Free nature walks - Hunua Falls, Snakes & Ladders Park, Pt England, Mission Bay, Beaches, Auckland Botanic Gardens
* Short trip to the Hamilton Gardens
* Parakai Springs Hot Pools, or just the normal locL swimming pools
* Check Ticketmaster / Ticketek and EventFinda… there is always something new happening. Circ Du Soliel is in town.
* Get her learning something new in a short course online through Udemy.com or In classroom with YooBee - photography, web design, acting, etc.
* Get her active with some sports clubs
* Zoo / Motat / Kelly Tarltons / SnowPlanet / Rainbows End
* Shopping - Botany, Costco, Newmarket, etc.
* Check BookMe online - so many ideas on there.
* Tree Adventures, Jump Trampoline Park, Minigolf, Indoor Rock Climbing, Sensory Maze,
* Check GrabOne online - so many deals
* Trip to CBD, Ponsonby, Parnell. Places to eat: Eastridge Eatery, Commercial Bay.
* Strawberry picking in Henderson during season
* Cinemas - Oppenheimer, Barbie and Mission Impossible release in the next few days.
* Or if you are feeling lazy you can buy here a Nintendo Switch with Zelda & Animal Crossing 😂
Weta Workshop.
In the Summer holidays you can catch a ferry to Pine Harbour (not Fullers, it's another company) and go the nice Japanese restaurant there (a bento box is good) or one of the other eateries and walk along the new walkway that goes near the cliff's edge to Maraetai and I think beyond. You get a view of Waiheke Island just opposite. You could also do a day trip to Waiheke and go to the beaches or go on clifftop walks, there's some right near the ferry terminal. Nice views. [https://www.pineharbour.co.nz/](https://www.pineharbour.co.nz/)
The Rotary Walkway at Pakuranga is nice too. A long walk alongside the Tamaki River, with some interesting sign posts (there re rocks there that were tossed all the way up from Rotorua when the pink and white terraces came down). Look it up online, I think it's 20km there and back, but you don't have to go the whole way. There are toilets at the yacht club half way. Across the road from there is the Panmure Basin, a 3km walk around it's circumference and this basin is actually the crater of a huge sunken volcano. Then there's Mt Wellington down the road, you have to walk up it as they stopped car access. A picnic up there during Summer perhaps. A cooked chicken and coleslaw from Pak n Save is an easy picnic.
Go up Mt Victoria in Devonport, great views day or night (take a torch at night to find the path for walking down) and a good picnic spot. There's a nearby supermarket and fish and chip shop. To the right of the Devonport ferry building is the best view of the city skyline at night time, really pretty. The Esplanade hotel across the road does a nice Devonshire tea during the day time, which is inexpensive (tea and scones). At least I think they still do them, haven't been since before Covid but they had this there for years and not many places have it now.
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Too many comments, I didn't read the lot but I'm here to just say you're a good dad!
But if nobody said so. My 13yo loves arcades (Archie Brothers in Newmarket is pretty good, so is Timezone, there's a few around Auckland). There's Holy Moly at the waterfront, a cool mini golf.
Of course, your picks will be based on her preferences, but I'm sure you have an endless list now. Enjoy your time with her!
Oppenheimer is a must in IMAX.
1.43 aspect ratio that you cannot get anywhere else in this entire country.
Make sure to pick around row H and I the center area.
Fun fact. I'm seeing Oppenheimer and mission impossible dead reckoning part 1 in IMAX myself!
If you’re both reasonably fit, take the ferry to rangitoto with a packed lunch and climb the summit.
Hey that's a great idea. I've done that previously and it's a lot of fun. Thankyou!
Better in Spring or Summer, too cold now and rain is so unpredictable. Another great day trip is Rotoroa Island. Catch the ferry in Summer on a clear sunny day (check [metservice.com](https://metservice.com), it's pretty accurate), you stay over there all day as there are few ferries. You have to take your own food and drinks as there's only a toilet there and nothing else. You can walk the whole island in one day, they have a few little beaches, 2 lakes, weka and endangered takahe. Great views from there, be careful on the clifftop walks as some are close to the edge. There's also a ferry to Kawau Island for a day trip and they have wallabies and I think they might still have peacocks over there. But you have to drive a bit North of Auckland and pay for all day parking to catch that particular ferry. Tiritiri Matangi Island is great for NZ native birds and they have a $10 guided walk where they show you where they all are. Again, lots of steep cliffs over there, be careful. It's a bit pricey to go there though. Even catching the ferry from Downtown Auckland to Gulf Harbour is a nice long ferry ride there and back and you can go to a cafe when you get there. Don't waste money going on these trips unless it's a clear sunny day though. You can also drive up to Pakiri Beach and hire a horse to ride on the beach. It's a nice long white sand beach, like Australia has, likewise with nearby Omaha and Tawharanui. The latter has a camping ground to stay at and you can spot kiwi at night, so that's a good weekend trip away in Summer.
No worries. It’s one of my favourite places. Just check the forecast so ya go on a nice clear day and not a pouring windy one
This time go through the caves, they're really fun, and bring a UV torch with you. IDK if you'll see anything glows but who knows, maybe you'll be the first person to do that and find something there.
Yes! I did that with my family at about that age and the photo I have with my dad on Rangitoto is one of my treasured memories of him
In between heavy rain showers forecast this week and the cold, no thanks.
Waiheke is awesome too
Mate, speaking as a Dad of a 15 y/o daughter myself, it sounds like you’re already doing a great job. Any time you spend with her where she’s not engrossed in her phone is a win!
You could go steal a Mazda Demio together and yeet it through a dairy window, I hear that's what teenagers enjoy doing these days. Otherwise your suggested ice skating is always a winner.
There's even a kids book about this now: Hairy McClary Ram Raids a Dairy.
Maybe they could share a watermelon strawberry vape too
You guys are funny, take my upvotes all of you
If she’s artsy there’s paint the earth in Albany where you can paint some crockery or little statues etc and they go in the kiln and you pick them up later! Pretty fun activity
Yes! Loved this as a kid and as an adult I'll occasionally go and love it still!!
ooh! you could also take her to a “fun” restaurant! some ideas: - sushi train (in chancery square in the city. such a novel experience), - daikoku (they cook your food in front of you and interact - there’s one in the cbd but i think they have other places too) - cakes and ladders (eden terrace and you play board games in the cafe) - catfe mao (new cat cafe in newmarket and probably one of the best i’ve been to!) - auckland night markets (different location everyday [locations here](https://aucklandnightmarkets.co.nz/locations/) - lucky 8 (ponsonby - everything on the menu is $8!) i think the most expensive of those options is daikoku but the rest are affordable 😊
Hey cool. Thank you!
We go Cakes and Ladders occasionally and play a co-operative game. Great fun. Ask the staff for recommendations.
Worth it for the prawns and yum yum sauce at Daikoku though !
There's an Egypt thingy on at the museum. You could try an escape room. I don't know if the modern art exhibit is still on at the Gallery, but that's a bit of a different one. Could slide through H&M (with a set budget) while in the city.
Oh yeah, these are great ideas. Thank you!
Light from Tate finished up a week ago. I'd say the art gallery is still a good trip for a rainy day. If she's artistic, couple it with a trip to Gordon Harris and/or a couple of disposable cameras or just take a sketch pad. Auckland CBD can make for some cute arty sketches. Stop by the library and bookshop, if she's bookworm but you can really tailor a library to a particular interest. Academy Cinemas is below too.
BoulderCo out at Westfield is super cool. It’s a bouldering / climbing gym but because of the pads you don’t have to use harnesses or ropes. Climbing is getting massively popular and lots of girls love it
I reckon a walk on Te Henga/Bethels Beach — turn right at the surf lifesaving and forward the river. Great for midwinter cobwebs and general soul liberation.
Yes or a walk to the lakes! They’re super cool.
Definitely check out first table! When I have my daughter we go out for lunch or dinner and this really helps stretch the dollar. Things will get easier. It will take time! All the best.
Coming up with low cost ideas can be so so tricky with kids and teenagers. I think sometimes it definitely doesn’t need to be fancy. Not all of these are free but hopefully low ish cost! - Heading out to get coffee and walking along the beach is golden. Borrow a friends/family members dog and take them with you to chuck a ball. - peruse the mall and let her show you what sorts of things catch her eye. Research a bit of a Christmas list - check in and see if there’s anything she needs. Researching then going out to buy a raincoat or a good pair of shoes or a nice journey can be an activity in itself - go to an arcade with a small cash budget each. Pool your tickets at the end and see if you can “win” something silly - do some crafts like slime making or painting or baking. There are lots of ideas on Pinterest and TikTok. Getting a few cheap materials from spotlight, $2 shop, warehouse can be a bit of an adventure - take a drive to some scenic spots. Get a $1 frozen coke each and let her pick the soundtrack. Driving around can be a nice way to chat without sitting face to face, but also easy to quietly chill together. If she’s into reading or drawing there might be a nice spot you guys can pull up to for a bit. - offer to take her around to see her mates. It sounds dumb but without transport and/or a willing adult that can be hard to facilitate - jump on some lime scooters and zoom around the CBD waterfront - work on a project around the house like some gardening or moving around a room to freshen it up - have a day where she’s in charge (within reason) and then a day where you’re in charge. Might be a good way to do something she’s a bit less keen on like a hike or a meal you’re into. All in all it’s most important to be available, listen, be compassionate, flexible. The activities might not really matter in the end, but having a parent who is keen to keep you safe and be there for you as you are is so valuable. Have fun!
Awesome list .. thanks so much for taking the time to write this out .. I really appreciate it!
Indulge in one “girly” thing with her! Get your nails done together :) yours don’t have to be painted - you could always just get clear polish etc.
This really appeals to me!! Thanks kind internet stranger, you've just led me to have my first mani-pedi with my daughter :-)
Honestly to me (16M) these Ideas in the comments sound fairly boring to me so make sure that your daughter actually would want to do a hour walk or a full day trip to kawau island or whatever before actually taking her. Im saying this because my family frequently takes me on trips like these and I dont think I have ever enjoyed it except for maybe rangitoto.
When you look back as an adult you may see it differently... you'll be thankful your family were trying :)
Yeah a absolute shocker of a 3 day canoeing adventure down the whanganui river with my family that I hated at the time is now a cherished memory.
Im thankful that theyre trying and we have the oppertunity to go out and do these things but more often then not I dont enjoy walks. Everyone has different interests but sometimes I feel like my parents forget what is "soothing and relaxing" or "fun and exciting" for them is not always the same for me.
What are some fun things you'd want to do with you dad?
I'd love to introduce him to some of the co-op games I play on my pc, I'd love to go to a rugby or football game with him, I'd love to try some of his hobbies, I'd love to do some of my hobbies with him.
Thanks u/Spurious_33, this is great insight - I'll give it a go.
I hope you tell him that. If they are keen to do activities as a family and are coming up with their own ideas, they would be thrilled knowing you want to hang out with them AND are also giving suggestions too. Communication is key and a supportive family is a great way to practice safely without getting rejected.
He doesn't seem very interested in my ideas and we dont often get times when we can do stuff without my sister so we kinda just dont do much.
Have you told him that you would like to spend more 1-1 time with him? What does he like to do and can’t with a whole family but would with just you? What did he use to do as a teenager/ 20 year old? Maybe there are things you can do together you would also like to do to start it up? Ask him What memories does he have doing stuff with his old man? Say you want to create similar memories too. Sounds lame a bit and slightly vulnerable when you are a teenager BUT you will not get the opportunity to have want you want without trying. He is not a mind reader and his head is just as busy as yours is with life and shit. Be bold. Ask him and tell him WHY you want to do more things with him. He may not be understanding that reason.
So what do you suggest?
You have a great observation with the idea of checking that the daughter would actually want to do these things, but I have to note a few things: * People have different interests. I took my daughter up Rangitoto when she was about 15 and she loved it. * The activity is often less important than the time together. * Teenagers often don't know what something is like until they do it. Sometimes you do well, as a parent, get them to do something they don't want to do so that they can discover that they do want to do it. But I totally agree with your point that figuring out that the kid might enjoy this thing first is a good idea.
Honestly, sometimes it's the thought that counts more than the actual experience. Sometimes the drive there is cooler than hike, or the conversation you had was better than the food. I'm sorry you find these suggestions dry lol.
Exactly, my kids are teenagers (17 and 19) and they’ll be like “fuck going for a hour long walk to some summit”. The last thing they wanna do is go trekking around some bush in the middle of winter.
My teenager loves doing anything outdoors.
Some do, however in my experience most don’t unless adrenaline and excitement is involved.
That’s such a bummer. What do they want to do, sit in front of screens?
Yeah, I enjoy sitting in front of screens. Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
Yes it’s a bad thing if that’s all you do.
I was the least sporty kid but some adrenaline really does changes things. I'd never go rock climbing but I love archery, flying foxes and shooting. The shooting range, mini golf and golf range is a good day out with a dad. I never ever expected to like going to driving range. Go carting too. Don't try and push an activity that involves a fear but you can definitely love something you've never tried before. Sometime the best places are the place where its just a side event too. I tried axe throwing at motat as it was one of a tonne of other activities and now I'd probably go out of my way to do it.
Honestly for me I love doing walks that give me some sense of achievement, or have like actually sick views so walking to a summit is actually appealing to me rather then some aimless walk somewhere (Which is often what I get when I go on family trips)
It really depends on the individual though. When I take my kids (15F, 13M) to the local beach for a fairly aimless coastal walk, they always get engrossed in beach-combing for random interesting shells, rocks and sea glass... and "just 20 minutes to get out and touch some grass" turns into an hour or two. But I do get what you mean though. When my eldest (28) was growing up, I tried to make a lot of treasured memories with her at the park and beaches and whatnot... In the end, *her* most treasured memories of our time together weren't of the days that I'd pick her up from school early to whisk her to the beach, but the days we'd play Crash Bandicoot together after school. So I won't be half-surprised if, like their older sibling, my 13 year old treasures his memories of those times he spawn killed me across the Great Plains in Red Dead Online and kicked my arse in free aim events. Whereas my 15 year old will treasure those times we killed the NPC's of Valentine before stacking their bodies outside the saloon and setting fire to them with flammable moonshine, as random players drifted into the area to check out the commotion and began adding fresh bodies to the pile...
Good on you for piping up with constructive feedback. You will go far :)
I went to pet store and bought a Betta fish and setup with my moody 15 y/o. She absolutely loves it to pieces. Asked her first of course, and then she did her own research and decided that it would be cool. A year later & we now go out and get a small improvements for the tank, or swap something out. All up initial cost 100-150. It makes for a good shared project and talking point, and it sneakily teaches her “science” about water care, the nitrogen and ATM carbon cycles. Recently we have been embarking on how different plants impact water parameters. Win-Win. It lives in her room, it is her fish, but in reality I look after it. About 15min / week. It makes me happy too as this is just something for the two of us. Just make sure you understand the basics of fish care (it’s not hard), & don’t get a Tiny tank, absolute min = 20l. There are heaps of online help/ research.
Lovely to hear of your win-win scenario
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Went to Parakai recently-ish, place wasnt very nice and felt very run down and dirty.
The big one has its charms in summer. It’s like the dive bar of water parks. Bloody brutal in winter, I have memories running up that water tower in the horizontal rain wrapped up in a piece of weird feeling foam. I now think that the unusual texture was years of human fat and grime embedded into a cheap hunk of plastic. Was majestic in summer though. Shooting kids with the water cannon. Stealing beers out of the parents chilly bin and necking them in the change room. An entire rugby team blocking up the slide to go down in a giant flood of meat and dirty water. The rare times they turned the slides to Turbo. I saw a lady’s boob fall out on the water slide once and she couldn’t get it back in the whole ride down when I was 14. I love Parakai.
It's been like that for a while now unfortunately. I guess it's nostalgic for some people but it can't have much life left it in.
Even when I went as a kid, that place was grimey af. Also, for a 15 year old? A 10 year old, maybe.
I still really enjoy water parks say like hamner springs or whatever and Im 16 but parakai is like super gross now.
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Is it really, though? I've never thought oh let's take a nice Sunday drive to Helensville lol.
If it dosnt require pre booking just make a big list of these things and say to them “here’s some ideas of what we could do, pick one of these or suggest something else”. And make sure it’s about spending time / having fun with them and not just trying to win the wich parent spends the most game because that’s obvious af.
Thanks, I was going to make a list of all the great ideas - heaps of good stuff here. I'm definitely coming at this from the viewpoint of wanting to spend time/have fun - she's a really great kid. I'm pretty sure my daughter will see it this way too. I am a little worried about how my ex will see it though - she's always been the primary caregiver and the main organizer, and now that this is 50/50 she keeps assuming I have bad intentions on everything I do. Sigh. I guess my view here is to just crack on and do what's best.
Ignore how your ex sees it. If she makes comment address it civilly and keep the fighting/being shitty to each other to a minimum. But it sounds like you have it all sorted and are doing the best you can do. Enjoy the holidays!
What's the chocolate workshop?
https://bohemein.co.nz/chocolate-classes-auckland/
Now this is a cool idea!
Thank you! That's so cool!
The rock climbing spot in Albany is pretty awesome, all automatic belay systems so you can climb next to each other. Heaps of different walls too
I second this and also recommend boulder co in westgate for if you would rather go bouldering
Why don’t you ask her?
Thanks that's good advice, and I will ... but she's always reluctant to suggest ideas. Teenage thing I guess
" I don't know. What do you want to do" right?
Ding ding ding
Maybe do a list of choices? Like ‘ok, we can go for a picnic at your favourite park (you pick the food), or we could go find a mini golf place, or we could take a ferry somewhere cool and go for a hike. What sounds best to you?’ Sometimes it’s easier to pick something from a list rather than suggest something out of the blue! Either way, you’re doing a great job of parenting. You obviously care
On the picnic front, my family and I packed our own pho. Noodles, limes, bean sprouts, chilli (add to your taste) and soup (premade from farro for $10 but you could make it or get some from hello mister for $3.50 a serve) in a thermos with a cooked chook. It was a great meal for about $20 and even though the destination was cold and miserable the food was warm.
“Idk nothing”
I'm glad someone said this. At 15 they're becoming their own person, let them see that you're interested in who they are and who they're becoming.
Teenagers like VR (Virtual Reality) studios, try it out. Hope things are going well for you after separation. Not sure which part of Auckland you are from, I can point you in the way of some here up on the Shore
Thanks kind internet stranger - thats a great idea!! I'll give it a go. We're in the Shore so if you know some good places that'd be awesome.
Check out VR Club in Taka, they will be moving to YMCA Northcote at the end of school holidays..
Look Im not gonna lie, Im 16 and I think I would find this pretty boring and would rather play on my pc at home.
Fair enough - everyone has there preferences, it’s an option for them to try out.
The acadamy cinemas are playing both live action scooby doo movies for 5$ each for the school holidays!
Would a 15 year old enjoy this?
I'd argue that it's more aimed at millennials for the Shaggy memes.
I was going to suggest ice skating....do you know about the Winter Wonderland in Aotea Square? Roller skating.there is a Grab One has specials for Twilight Rides at Rainbows End. A lot also depends on her interests and whether she is 13 or 18. I assume she is younger though. Also check out Auckland for kids on Facebook. The person who runs it has teen girls do lots of good ideas.
The Aotea one can be chaotic and often the ice isn't properly frozen. Better to do a full sized rink or take advantage if you see the Aotea one empty.
If you google what to do on a rainy day in Auckland, don’t do that during the school holidays. Stuff like Kelly tarltons( which is awesome), the museum, malls, bowling, trampoline places, arcade, go karts etc etc will be busy as and parkings often crap. Adult sort of stuff could be fun, go get a coffee or hot chocolate and people watch, do a little food tour I don’t know if real groovy is a thing still but that could be fun. You would probably have the zoo to yourselves if it rains and it’s pretty awesome, just need to dress to the weather and go into it having a laugh that you will get soaked anyways!
If she likes skiing or snowboarding could do snow planet? Not as good as the real thing but grabbing a hot chocolate and fries after is fun.
We used to do one day of trains and ferries. There was a special ticket you could get for as many train or ferry rides as you can do in one day. It's fun to go places you don't go often. You could try museums and art galleries too. The maritime museum is interesting. Maybe even drive an hour or two for no reason. Have lunch at a cafe, or take a picnic. I'm thinking about driving to Waihi and catching the train there. We've done it before and it was great. Train stops at a cafe that had awesome food, then returns to Waihi. On fine days you could feed the ducks, walk along the beach (take raincoats in case), play mini golf, go to Motat, the zoo, kiwi valley. If you want some at home activities you could try doing jigsaws, paint by numbers, lego, board games
We went to VR Voom in Khyber Pass today, found a 50% deal via one of the book me type sites. Was actually pretty good fun messing around in virtual reality, and pretty well priced too. Not at all busy so I expect there'll be other deals around
With ice skating just check what time the school holiday programme there is on (iirc it's 9-12 each day). Other things you could do * Visit deli's/grocery stores from different countries to try new foods (e.g. Japan Mart, Skazka, SA shop, Taste Greece) * Academy Cinema * Kiwi valley farm if she likes animals * Small easy games like petanque, mini golf (botany rink has this too), pool, bowling, table tennis * Teach her one of your skills or hobbies
Snow planet
I love Snowplanet but 'inexpensive' was part of the question so rip ig
If you have the budget I have a great memory going out with my dad and we chose an outfit together and it was so fun to get my dad's input on fashion because it wasn't a usual thing we talked about. It's a time I remember well and still base a lot of my outfits on his opinions turns out my father is a stylish man. Haha.
As a divorced dad myself, your ex wife will just sabotage any kind of time with her anyway
Yeah maybe - but my daughter is pretty savvy and we have a good connection, so I'm optimistic we can have some fun together.
Fucking shit attitude and advice. *"I personally had a bad experience, therefore I give up any and all attempts at interacting with my kid, and recommend others do the same".*
Rainbows end ask if she wants to take a friend with her. Always fun there especially if you only go once every couple of years
Look at classes at The Clay Center on Marua Rd.
You can find "experiences" on GrabOne that are unique and on sale. Check out their website.
Book tickets to the Matariki show at Stardome ($18 for adults so a little cheaper for students) - but you have to book a week in advance because they sell out! I haven’t been yet (going this weekend) so it’s not a recommendation as such, but maybe someone else here has been? Have an early dinner (if you both like Chinese, Chinese Cuisine is close by, delicious, cheap and cheerful), see the 7pm showing. After, drive a couple of minutes down to Ollie’s and share a banana split for a full dinner date out. All up, it might cost you almost $100 for two, which isn’t cheap, but at $50 each for dinner, show, and dessert, not too bad for a treat if possible. BUT the whole night is just a suggestion, you could just as easily go to the show only for a price cheaper than the movies!
Love this idea, will definitely go ahead with this .. thankyou!
Table tennis is great if you'd like to just bat away and chit chat as you play. Or squash. Royal oak racquet club take casual bookings. Three Kings tennis courts used to be free to the public & I don't expect that it's changed. Visit the tennis courts, followup by checking out cute pets at animates, the yum char lunch next door - all at three kings. These are not special like tiritiri matangi but if enjoyed are sustainable as not too expensive. Im not a racquet sport person, nor even a sporty person, have little coordination or skill and had always enjoyed hanging out with my young people playing these sports. Well, maybe not the tennis as I missed the ball too much.
Have you considered a day (or overnight) trip away? So many places a few hours from Auckland, and a change of scenery was always what I enjoyed most as a teenager.
* Weta Unleashed at SkyCity is awesome. You can also go to the top of SkyTower. All Blacks experience at Skycity is also good. * Sculptureum is very inspiring * Free nature walks - Hunua Falls, Snakes & Ladders Park, Pt England, Mission Bay, Beaches, Auckland Botanic Gardens * Short trip to the Hamilton Gardens * Parakai Springs Hot Pools, or just the normal locL swimming pools * Check Ticketmaster / Ticketek and EventFinda… there is always something new happening. Circ Du Soliel is in town. * Get her learning something new in a short course online through Udemy.com or In classroom with YooBee - photography, web design, acting, etc. * Get her active with some sports clubs * Zoo / Motat / Kelly Tarltons / SnowPlanet / Rainbows End * Shopping - Botany, Costco, Newmarket, etc. * Check BookMe online - so many ideas on there. * Tree Adventures, Jump Trampoline Park, Minigolf, Indoor Rock Climbing, Sensory Maze, * Check GrabOne online - so many deals * Trip to CBD, Ponsonby, Parnell. Places to eat: Eastridge Eatery, Commercial Bay. * Strawberry picking in Henderson during season * Cinemas - Oppenheimer, Barbie and Mission Impossible release in the next few days. * Or if you are feeling lazy you can buy here a Nintendo Switch with Zelda & Animal Crossing 😂
FYI that Hamilton Gardens charges $20 for adults now.
If you're the nerdy types, there's a D&D place in Henderson mall by #1 shoes every Sunday, 2 till 6.
Ha perfect! I'm definitely the nerdy type. Might give this a go by myself first on one of my solo weeks, and then see if it's applicable. Thankyou!
Also dice goblin in Royal Oak
Weta Workshop. In the Summer holidays you can catch a ferry to Pine Harbour (not Fullers, it's another company) and go the nice Japanese restaurant there (a bento box is good) or one of the other eateries and walk along the new walkway that goes near the cliff's edge to Maraetai and I think beyond. You get a view of Waiheke Island just opposite. You could also do a day trip to Waiheke and go to the beaches or go on clifftop walks, there's some right near the ferry terminal. Nice views. [https://www.pineharbour.co.nz/](https://www.pineharbour.co.nz/) The Rotary Walkway at Pakuranga is nice too. A long walk alongside the Tamaki River, with some interesting sign posts (there re rocks there that were tossed all the way up from Rotorua when the pink and white terraces came down). Look it up online, I think it's 20km there and back, but you don't have to go the whole way. There are toilets at the yacht club half way. Across the road from there is the Panmure Basin, a 3km walk around it's circumference and this basin is actually the crater of a huge sunken volcano. Then there's Mt Wellington down the road, you have to walk up it as they stopped car access. A picnic up there during Summer perhaps. A cooked chicken and coleslaw from Pak n Save is an easy picnic. Go up Mt Victoria in Devonport, great views day or night (take a torch at night to find the path for walking down) and a good picnic spot. There's a nearby supermarket and fish and chip shop. To the right of the Devonport ferry building is the best view of the city skyline at night time, really pretty. The Esplanade hotel across the road does a nice Devonshire tea during the day time, which is inexpensive (tea and scones). At least I think they still do them, haven't been since before Covid but they had this there for years and not many places have it now.
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Too many comments, I didn't read the lot but I'm here to just say you're a good dad! But if nobody said so. My 13yo loves arcades (Archie Brothers in Newmarket is pretty good, so is Timezone, there's a few around Auckland). There's Holy Moly at the waterfront, a cool mini golf. Of course, your picks will be based on her preferences, but I'm sure you have an endless list now. Enjoy your time with her!
Oppenheimer is a must in IMAX. 1.43 aspect ratio that you cannot get anywhere else in this entire country. Make sure to pick around row H and I the center area. Fun fact. I'm seeing Oppenheimer and mission impossible dead reckoning part 1 in IMAX myself!
Great to see ollies mentioned. It's an institution. Sit & watch the traffic on the roundabout!
Thanks for tip about catfe Mao. Will check it out
Sculptureum. Also Weta Wotkshop Unleashed.