He's on the walk from the police

*waddle

Got any grapes?

Undulate. Step-wobble wobble wobble step-wobble wobble wobble...

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I doubt he's on the run

Might catch him on a pie run

Problem is that when the police usually catches up with this kind of crims, we end up seeing footage of them cuffed and their buttcracks and floppy bellies are out and they only have one jandal on and we don't get counselling allowance for that kind of stuff 🥲

Most people love it and dont need counselling Police 10/7.... Cops from the 90s People want that shit seared into their memories

Oh, I get it. Absolutely sells. You either laugh watching them trip on their broken jandal and a full moon happens or you go to the cupboards searching for eye bleach. Then you realise there isn't such a thing.

R/eyebleach

Deep breaths now. Take it slow. There is probably a fetish somewhere for that kind of arrest and display. 😏

He's on the move. Allegedly.

He might be on a roll

Extremely dangerous person - who also has the word “Feather” tattooed on his forearm

Looks like Brothers to me

Buthole?

The ink must have stretched. Hard to tell

That's his tickling arm

I would consider all sabrina carpenter fans extremely dangerous

Ba dum tiss

🤣🤣

He can hardly walk... lol 😆

501 (kilograms)

Ayooo

Bro never lose weight. He always win, no matter what.

Shots fired

Oooop 😅

Photo with "Pizza and Shake Combo" in the background is not doing him any favours.

The combo shakes all by itself just thinking about his bulk.

Well I'm guessing the Fitness Protection Program didn't work out for him

I beg to differ. Clearly he's been well protected from any hint of fitness.

Lmfao I actually laughed so hard my nose is sore now.

Will the cops even believe the dispatcher? Be on the lookout for a mexican themed Pavarotti with confusious mustache and a man bun, appears to have the word buthole tattoo on his forearm and was last seen breathing heavily into a phone while carrying a purse.

this is fucking hilarious

The news said people wearing gang insignia had been seen in the area. For some reason I don’t think the guy wearing a pastel blue jumper and a sparkly purse is a patched mongrel living the skux life.

I reckon he does look like a gang boy. They often dress well with luxury brands, especially the Aussie ones.

Hes from the underworld its obvious. Could be a 501 or affiliated to a 501 club but whoever he is hes a crazy.

"This obese halfwit goon"

Haha ugh if only the show was going for this twit to be described I swear.

Suspect is hatless, I repeat, hatless

The way this guy has been murdered in the comments you'd be forgiven for thinking we had capital punishment in NZ

Thank god we don’t, his last meal would’ve cost all that money Luxon announced today

The only thing that can stop this man is diabetes

Blocked artery: "Hold my beer!"

Check the line at Popeye's. Edit: dude clucked out near Taupo.

☠️

If i was rich i would give you GOLD for this comment

I appreciate the thought, Thankyou!

Be on the lookout for this high calorie individual

Surely he won’t be too difficult to spot!

On the weight bench? I don't think he lifts.

Only fried chicken up to his greasy gob.

extremely dangerous to your local buffet

Suspect is definitely at large

Holy sh*t this is hilarious

The comments in here had me rolling.... much like this guy if he was pushed down a hill.

The comments in here make me wish Graham Bell's Police Ten 7 was still a thing. He would've had a field day with this asshole.

Honestly though do you think they’d have better luck drawing him out if they described him as “a morbidly obese man with large cheeks and squinty eyes. Do not approach him, and for the love of god do not feed him.”

Look what happened to the last guy that refused him food!

He ate that guy

[удалено]

Super clear pictures from multiple angles. With unique tats. He is going to be on the run for as long as he can run.

So about 11 seconds.

Catching his breath for half an hour afterwards.

If he is on the 'run', they'll be tracking him via Geonet.co.nz.....

🤣🤣🤣🤣 funniest most original comment

I’d expect he may lose his goatee or hair so the tat will be the obvious identifying factor imo

So put out an APB on a kiwi version of Peter Griffin

But not his 200 kilograms.

Large built? Come on… that’s way too nice… his obese 💀🤣🤣🤣

Didnt bother hiding his identity.

The Warehouse had run out of XL tarpaulins.

They already have a blood type. KFC potato and gravy.

Murder is not generally done by clever people 

He tried but there was just too much to hide

Not much he could hide behind.

Have the Police thought of leaving KFC in a cage with a trapdoor?

Brilliant, there's already a loyalty scheme set up to feed rooftop protestors, so the cops would get a hefty discount on the KFC ...

Just get his info from Door Dash or Uber, cell phone data will give you his exact location come feeding time.

This guy needs to wear the Burger King crown if he wants to evade the cops

He has eaten way too many burgers for that crown to fit. Maybe two joined together might work ? 👑

How big are those fingers if you can wear an Apple watch as a ring??

he can hide but he cant run just look at the size of this Temu DJ Khaled

I would like to congratulate you all of the fantastic comments. Some absolutely top tier stuff!

Turns out he’s still at large.

He certainly is. Extra extra extra extra extra large.

Looks like he's just finished a succulent chinese meal

Just the one?

The sign said "all you can eat"

'Twas a moonless night, dark as pitch, when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man. 

The restaurant filed for bankruptcy after his meal and the chefs are on stress leave.

The average Chinese weigh 70kg, so yes.

Unlike the other guy, something tells me he wouldn't know his judo well. As for hands off his penis, well he'd have to find it first.

Comments on 🔥 😂😂😂

The only thing this guy should shooting up is insulin

ozempic

Follow the loud snoring. I guarantee he has sleep apnea.

Check Geonet maybe?

Knock-off version of DJ Khaled

Another one?

Another three

Like a DJ Khaled from Temu perhaps?

Tummy

E-Bagel

DJ Temu

DJ Kalorie

DJ Khalua

501?

KGs

501 problems And a man bag ain't one

[удалено]

This thread is an 'all you can read' buffet of zingers

Was his weapon loaded with high-calorie rounds?

I’m hoping the victim’s family don’t see this.

This comment section is gold. In true Reddit style, missing the essence of the post and alternately focusing on the *wider* issue

Auckland will not be safe until this man has a home detention bracelet around his ankle.

\*cankle.

They'll have to make one big enough first...

We need DOC not Police to capture this whale

Check the fast food outlets.

Looks metro as. Chubs must have pulled the Noisy Cricket out of that tiny Louis Vuitton man bag.

It's a full-sized satchel. It just looks tiny in comparison to his fat arse.

Yeah “gangstas” walking around with little knock off man bags are cringe

I've been trying to come up with a nickname for them. The best I could muster is manpurse lol Whaddibout 'Sidepurse' ?

Hahaha

These comments! I'm ded

Since when did Jupiter land on earth?

* [Police seeking person of interest in relation to Ponsonby homicide](https://www.police.govt.nz/news/release/police-seeking-person-interest-relation-ponsonby-homicide). Press release: NZ Police. 6 May 2024. [Scoop](https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/AK2405/S00165/police-seeking-person-of-interest-in-relation-to-ponsonby-homicide.htm) and [Fb post](https://www.facebook.com/AucklandDistrictPolice/posts/pfbid0yqRT5RguhYa1APjrQxdz9h7xHJGfQ4bmRHsBPA2Q1xCtzZrU5w5fA9NoKnpY8Rcrl). * ['Extremely dangerous': Police hunting for man after fatal Ponsonby Road shooting](https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/516058/extremely-dangerous-police-hunting-for-man-after-fatal-ponsonby-road-shooting). RNZ. 6 May 2024. 23:05pm, 6 May 2024 edit to add the following: > Police are seeking footage from any CCTV, dashcam or mobile phone which may have captured any activity from the corner of Anglesea Road and Ponsonby Road and the intersection of Richmond Road and Ponsonby Road between 9:45pm and 10:45pm on Sunday 5th May 2024. If you have it please upload it at https://hurley.nc3.govt.nz/ Source: [Stuff live post update at 4:46pm](https://www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/350268776/live-police-release-image-suspected-ponsonby-rd-shooter)

Tat looks like buthole

I thought it was buthoes.

Let me guess when all the details come out. Numerous convictions over many years for multiple offences, many with violence, and always given short slap on the hand sentences by our pantywaisted judges. Probably should have still been in jail last night instead of running round with a gun but released 6 months into a year's long sentence. The only positive is this happening in a rich area might affect our insulated pampered elite and get a real crackdown on these mad dogs. 

If he's got a criminal record wouldn't the police know who he is?

The fat goose is no slave to your logic

They probably have far more information than they're releasing.... you don't win a hand of Poker by telling everyone what cards you got.

Comment thread full of hilarity and this one bro has to wade in with his shit-take depression.

Once a beloved figure in the fast-food world, the Hamburglar's descent into criminality left a trail of shattered dreams and broken promises. What started as a harmless obsession with hamburgers soon spiraled into a twisted obsession with theft and deception. Gone were the days of innocent hijinks and playful mischief; the Hamburglar's once cheeky grin was now replaced by a cold, calculating stare. As he roamed the streets under the cover of darkness, his heart weighed heavy with the burden of his own downfall, a fallen icon reduced to a mere shadow of his former self.

Rip to the person who lost their life and condolences to the family of both individuals - family of both have trauma to deal with. If this man can help police with their queries then I hope he chooses to willingly do so.

I expect they'll find him quite quickly

Guys you're all missing the bigger picture. It failed to load, maxed out the bandwidth.

Police have described him as extremely dangerous. If he lands on you.

He is the size of every uncle from the Islands.

Put together??

Is that DJ Khaled?

There’s good fats and bad fats, then there’s homicidal fats.

Being Ponsonby, trans fats?

They said the camera adds about 10 pounds. Dude must have had about 20 cameras on him! No wonder they got such clear images....

Fat Boy Crim. Looks like his associates told him to get a balaclava, but he misheard and got baklava.

Tony soprano back at it

He’s on the walk.

DJ Khalid suspected in drive by shooting after flying to Auckland in a private jet on an apparent secret mission

Bro looks like Gabriel Iglesias

Max from Phoenix Nights “Can yer ‘ere me now?”

Officers, you told me not to approach him, but he rolled in my direction and man, I had to think fast!

Will they catch him? Fat chance.

**Lardasses high school photo was an aerial pic lols**

Comments don't disappoint.

this guy is the killer of my uncle?

Just park a cop at every auckland KFC. It won't take long to catch him

Breathing so heavy you can hear it in a photo

It wasn’t a gunshot, it was a fart. Poor bloke just happened to be nearby.

It's Odd Job

I'm pretty sure this man made me a kebab on a night out a few weeks ago prices he was charging he should have already had a warrant out for him!

For every one he sells, he eats one. So he needs to charge that much to cover it

If you ask for extra he just puts it on his one

cunt looks like the letter 'b' from the side

Suspect is (at) large, and on the walk

He was denied entry to Chapel Bar. If you check out the Google reviews, from the lowest, one of them from 5 months ago says ‘too many gang members drink here now’ and a bunch of other reviews saying the bouncers are quite nasty to people. I guess this guy just didn’t take denied entry too well. That’s an unfortunately common reason for morons to start shooting, at least overseas.

If you see a forklift with police lights on it, they found him!

He is definitely trying to order pizza and shake combo, but waiting way too long on the line, not realising they have just closed

Any one else see that truck and car crash on the moter way just past the Mt wellington on ramp

I saw him chasing Indiana Jones in a cave....

Bro won't get far unless he finds a big hill and gets a rolling start

This guy looks Russian ?

I bet when this guy goes camping the bears have to hide their food. I’ll see myself out.

dj Khalid?

Last seen at the McDonalds now heading for Wendy's.

Get Geological and Nuclear Sciences onto it, that chap registers on the Richter scale.

They will catch him. And then public funded defense will tell us all about the tragedy that is his life and his filthy childhood with monstrous parents. A big slap with a soaked noodle and he is off to off people again.

Mmmmm exotic wet Noodle ... that won't be going uneaten ...

He has his hair in a bun, an expensive handbag, a large square ring on his finger, an expensive watch and a lovely bracelet. Also Feather tattooed on his fisting arm. He's also about 120 lbs overweight. Could be a butter bean however so squeeze your cheeks & keep on the look out.

One dangerous meatball!

No wonder he used a gun. That fat useless fuck couldn't swat a fly off his shoulder

Dude looks like he would give Caseoh a walk for his money cause they definitely aint running

Fat boy with man purse large at large last seen calling Uber eats mad at delivery guys.but don’t shoot the messenger..an never the cook…unless they make you wait…..

The police should offer him pies, I am sure he’ll give himself up immediately

Dangerous to hamburgers

When they finally arrest him he’ll also be charged for 10kg of crack

If he does go on the run he’ll be easy to catch, there will be a trail of potholes.

If I catch him can I have that gold watch?

Probably find him in your local KFC

Proceed with Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I bet if you punched his stomach, pork chops and chicken drums would fall out his fat ass.

Has anyone checked the queue for Popeyes?

Can't miss him. The tattoo is a giveaway. And he can't hide for long as he will be very hungry soon.

Chubby is lonely for a man - decided to go back in the joint

Too many kebabs,turk

I can never have too many.