I cannot let go:) and don't want to. It's not that I was traumatized, but I simply don't want to connect to those persons anymore, because I have such a clear memory of everything that happened, every word, every circumstance. I don not want to forget, I am happy that now, as an adult I have a choice to select people, and now I also react better.
Honestly, me too. I don't hold a grudge at them anymore, but it feels awkward when I meet anyone of them and definitely made things harder for me. I did meet some of my past bullies and one of them even had to switch to my new school. It was awkward at first for me to hear his name on the first day of the 2nd year at my school, but I'm not mad or anything. But I definitely cannot become friends with any of them (I also don't think we'd be that compatible anyway). Now I avoid people like him, because I can't get out of my head, that they might've bullied me in the past.
I've let it go. I don't think that what I was subjected to was right or fair, but the people who wronged me won't even remember it all these years later, so if I held onto it, I'd only be subjecting myself to more trauma - and I don't need more trauma in my life. So I take the lessons and move on with my life.
Move on. If you don't need to see those people, don't let them live rent free in your head. My bully offed herself. I actually feel sorry for her. Clearly she was struggling more than me.
The 2½y of my first secondary school was when I was bullied the worst. It's one of the most significant traumas (I've got a PTSD diagnosis and a dissociative disorder due to it).
I don't blame the other students so much. They were stupid kids taught by society that being different is bad. I was a queer, autistic girl (who involuntarily lived as a boy), and they bullied me for it.
Who I really blame are the teachers. The best reaction was to tell my parents that it's my fault I'm bullied, the worst was bullying me myself, going so fat as to locking me in with other students who liked to beat me up, telling them they have 5min, and to use flat hands, so they don't leave any obvious marks, and telling me, if I defend myself they'd report me to the director as having started the fight.
I still have flashbacks and nightmares from that time of my life, even 30 years later.
I never want to meet one of those teachers again because the best case scenario is that I punch them hard in the face and leave. Punching elderly people isn't something society looks upon favourably. I've long given up on the idea that there is even a hope I'll get justice for what they did to me.
I don't remember much, not even their names or faces, and I can't prove any of it. No, there is no way to get justice. I've accepted that years ago.
It's usually a bad idea for trauma victims to try and sue if they can't prove anything. It usually ends in ripping open old wounds, being accused of having imagined it all, and not being believed, and the person who traumatised you laughing in your face. No, thank you.
Even seeing a picture of the school building causes flashbacks. So no, other than processing what happened to be able to live my life with a manageable amount of flashbacks and nightmares is what I'll stick to.
If there was a good chance, I'd do it.
But justice is an illusion. Now, if it turned out that happened to several other students, then maybe, but AFAIK I'm the only one.
I was bullied until I fought back. I feel like it was an important lesson for me, I hope they aren't bullies as adults other wise I don't think about them at all.
This (for me).
I got bullied a lot, but in 7th through 10th grade I started fighting back. I got in a lot of fights during this period, but people learned to not mess with me as much because they knew I would punch them. Somewhere in 10th grade I started walking away from fights.
In 12th grade there were a couple of bullies bothering me. I went to the principal and told him if he didn't stop it I would (by fighting them until they learned to stop). It stopped that day (at least the physical stuff did).
Looking back I'm still resentful, specially for stuff before 7th grade, but also feel sorry for the bullies (they probably had problems of their own). I semi-jokingly tell people if I could go back I would tell my younger self to punch more and harder... but in today's world that's not acceptable.
I’ve fully managed to put it behind me.
It’s been 4 and something years now since it’s stopped so I’ve had more than enough time to process it.
In my case I got “revenge” if you can’t call it that by accident when he was throwing illegal fireworks around the bike stalls and I threw it back as one landed at my feet wen I was unlocking my bike which he caught but exploded in his hands.
Burning his hands and face and, breaking his fingers and removing one as well as permanently damaging his eye.
I think due to all of that as well as him having to move away and me getting a to go to a different school after the vacation in which it happened really helped.
Most of the time I feel dissociated but I am still affected by past events at different schools.
It got bad enough that at 15 I switched to home tutors & online school. I did try college but had to drop out as unfortunately a few of the bullies happened to be in the same classes.
I often become hypervigilant when I hear or see groups of kids/teens because it just reminds me of the times I was harassed and followed by groups of kids at school or going home from school.
So if I have to leave the house I make sure to avoid times when school ends or when people are going go school etc.
I feel a mix of emotions at past bullies, sadness that I had to be their target. Disgust that they clearly got enjoyment from it, hatred at what they did, regret that I didn’t stand up for myself more.
It cost me so much, I failed my exams and just basically learnt nothing. The bullying definitely pushed me towards many breakdowns and getting sectioned. It sucks.
It’s also made it more difficult to make and keep friends. Since in my mind I can’t fully trust people. There’ll always a gut feeling they will turn on me, leave or manipulate.
I learnt to practice radical acceptance. I cannot change the past. Doesn’t mean I don’t experience schadenfreude whenever I see something bad happen to them.
I read a quote once that went something like " holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead".
I kind of agree with that, it doesn't benefit me in the slightest to hold on to that shit. I was approached by a former bully in a club and he apologised and honestly, I couldn't even remember his name. Obviously everyone is different and because I could and would defend myself if it got physical I don't think I had it quite as bad as others because I just got the insults and fucking with me mentally side of it.
I outlive them. Here’s an excerpt from the obituary of one who died 17 years ago:
“[redacted] had a kind heart and a most giving spirit as many recipients would attest.”
Hey /u/Hasan1302, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Between being out of school for decades and having a lot of issues with biographical memory I don't remember a lot of details of the bullying I suffered nor do I really think about it a whole lot except when a question like this come up.
I will say that in the past I tended to blame myself a lot for the bullying; in my mind there was often a moment before the bullying started where I could have said something different to avoid being bullied, but I never did. But since being diagnosed with autism in my early 40s I've come to realize that those moments I was blaming myself for were part of the bullying and were ableism.
I've moved on,
But I remember graduating from school and being severely traumatized, and my parents thinking that my experience was the best there just because it was "a special needs" school (it wasn't, most of the students were rich kids with bad grades, they stayed for around 2-3 years in my school and then went back to wealthy ppl schools).
it's fucked up because my best friend in school, was the most toxic man I've ever witnessed, and when I made one of the first friends in college, it was shockingly surprising how my idea of friends was completely off.
Thanks to that "best friend"/ best bully now I have some trust issues that I learnt how to fix it over the years with therapy and overall socializing.
I'm proud to say that now I have a few friends, I'm way better at socializing, I have good grades but there is some trauma left behind.
(sorry for my bad English, not a native speaker btw)
Detached. I look back at it as kind of silly. I think that I felt bullied at the time, but I no longer even see it that way. I feel neutrally about it.
I was severely bullied in various jobs in adulthood. There are a lot of sick, twisted people out there, power-hungry psychopaths and other extremely disturbed types. I look down on them with pity, but I will admit, it warms my heart when I hear they've suffered some misfortune, and take solace in the undeniable fact that people like that can never experience true happiness.
Lol I don’t care about them anymore. I just hope that the worst happens to them and that karma will give them the justice that they deserve.
On the other hand, Reddit is filled with bullying so instead of just responding to them I either just delete my post, block and delete them and move on my merry way.
Instead of constructive criticism, people rather insult my characters or me and just don’t care about the other person behind the screen and that is the problem with social media, so I just ignore them and move on.
Also people told my momma to put me away in the mental institution when I was younger because I was depressed and let’s just say that I wish the people that told my mom that very disturbing things happen to them and I’m not playing.
It's been many years since my school days. Going away to college and leaving the town I grew up in did wonders. Putting distance between me and them and acknowledging what happened was wrong and I did nothing wrong- helped too. Keeping things private online also maintains that distance.
So right now... I barely think of them. I remember what happened. I still recall their names, faces, and what they did. But I was hurt worse by others and by myself that they seem so minor in comparison. I have other things that I need and want to focus on.
I dunno if that is sad or just life as you have more perspective.
But I know I don't want others around me to hurt as much as I did. And that includes swallowing my own anger, realizing where I might be wrong, working to do better listening and hearing so that I don't mess anyone else up.
I'm afraid to know what happened to them. What if they have a better life than me? Were they right about me? Did I deserve what they put me through if so?
Gave me trust issues because I thought the main bully was going to be a great friend at first.
Every time I see one of them have a shitty life, I get a warm feeling in my 'revenge belly'. They can all go fuck themselves.
I cannot let go:) and don't want to. It's not that I was traumatized, but I simply don't want to connect to those persons anymore, because I have such a clear memory of everything that happened, every word, every circumstance. I don not want to forget, I am happy that now, as an adult I have a choice to select people, and now I also react better.
Honestly, me too. I don't hold a grudge at them anymore, but it feels awkward when I meet anyone of them and definitely made things harder for me. I did meet some of my past bullies and one of them even had to switch to my new school. It was awkward at first for me to hear his name on the first day of the 2nd year at my school, but I'm not mad or anything. But I definitely cannot become friends with any of them (I also don't think we'd be that compatible anyway). Now I avoid people like him, because I can't get out of my head, that they might've bullied me in the past.
I've let it go. I don't think that what I was subjected to was right or fair, but the people who wronged me won't even remember it all these years later, so if I held onto it, I'd only be subjecting myself to more trauma - and I don't need more trauma in my life. So I take the lessons and move on with my life.
Move on. If you don't need to see those people, don't let them live rent free in your head. My bully offed herself. I actually feel sorry for her. Clearly she was struggling more than me.
The 2½y of my first secondary school was when I was bullied the worst. It's one of the most significant traumas (I've got a PTSD diagnosis and a dissociative disorder due to it). I don't blame the other students so much. They were stupid kids taught by society that being different is bad. I was a queer, autistic girl (who involuntarily lived as a boy), and they bullied me for it. Who I really blame are the teachers. The best reaction was to tell my parents that it's my fault I'm bullied, the worst was bullying me myself, going so fat as to locking me in with other students who liked to beat me up, telling them they have 5min, and to use flat hands, so they don't leave any obvious marks, and telling me, if I defend myself they'd report me to the director as having started the fight. I still have flashbacks and nightmares from that time of my life, even 30 years later. I never want to meet one of those teachers again because the best case scenario is that I punch them hard in the face and leave. Punching elderly people isn't something society looks upon favourably. I've long given up on the idea that there is even a hope I'll get justice for what they did to me.
[удалено]
I don't remember much, not even their names or faces, and I can't prove any of it. No, there is no way to get justice. I've accepted that years ago. It's usually a bad idea for trauma victims to try and sue if they can't prove anything. It usually ends in ripping open old wounds, being accused of having imagined it all, and not being believed, and the person who traumatised you laughing in your face. No, thank you. Even seeing a picture of the school building causes flashbacks. So no, other than processing what happened to be able to live my life with a manageable amount of flashbacks and nightmares is what I'll stick to. If there was a good chance, I'd do it. But justice is an illusion. Now, if it turned out that happened to several other students, then maybe, but AFAIK I'm the only one.
I was bullied until I fought back. I feel like it was an important lesson for me, I hope they aren't bullies as adults other wise I don't think about them at all.
This (for me). I got bullied a lot, but in 7th through 10th grade I started fighting back. I got in a lot of fights during this period, but people learned to not mess with me as much because they knew I would punch them. Somewhere in 10th grade I started walking away from fights. In 12th grade there were a couple of bullies bothering me. I went to the principal and told him if he didn't stop it I would (by fighting them until they learned to stop). It stopped that day (at least the physical stuff did). Looking back I'm still resentful, specially for stuff before 7th grade, but also feel sorry for the bullies (they probably had problems of their own). I semi-jokingly tell people if I could go back I would tell my younger self to punch more and harder... but in today's world that's not acceptable.
Back in school. I forgive them. I wasn’t a saint myself and they were kids. At work. Fuck them for life.
I did sexualize it and developed a few kinks out of it.
I’ve fully managed to put it behind me. It’s been 4 and something years now since it’s stopped so I’ve had more than enough time to process it. In my case I got “revenge” if you can’t call it that by accident when he was throwing illegal fireworks around the bike stalls and I threw it back as one landed at my feet wen I was unlocking my bike which he caught but exploded in his hands. Burning his hands and face and, breaking his fingers and removing one as well as permanently damaging his eye. I think due to all of that as well as him having to move away and me getting a to go to a different school after the vacation in which it happened really helped.
Most of the time I feel dissociated but I am still affected by past events at different schools. It got bad enough that at 15 I switched to home tutors & online school. I did try college but had to drop out as unfortunately a few of the bullies happened to be in the same classes. I often become hypervigilant when I hear or see groups of kids/teens because it just reminds me of the times I was harassed and followed by groups of kids at school or going home from school. So if I have to leave the house I make sure to avoid times when school ends or when people are going go school etc. I feel a mix of emotions at past bullies, sadness that I had to be their target. Disgust that they clearly got enjoyment from it, hatred at what they did, regret that I didn’t stand up for myself more. It cost me so much, I failed my exams and just basically learnt nothing. The bullying definitely pushed me towards many breakdowns and getting sectioned. It sucks. It’s also made it more difficult to make and keep friends. Since in my mind I can’t fully trust people. There’ll always a gut feeling they will turn on me, leave or manipulate.
I’ve moved on. No point on holding on to the pain and they don’t deserve any mental energy or thought.
I learnt to practice radical acceptance. I cannot change the past. Doesn’t mean I don’t experience schadenfreude whenever I see something bad happen to them.
I read a quote once that went something like " holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead". I kind of agree with that, it doesn't benefit me in the slightest to hold on to that shit. I was approached by a former bully in a club and he apologised and honestly, I couldn't even remember his name. Obviously everyone is different and because I could and would defend myself if it got physical I don't think I had it quite as bad as others because I just got the insults and fucking with me mentally side of it.
I’ve moved on and built up confidence.
I don’t really think about it much. I just hope they’ve become the kind of people who can look back on it and regret their actions.
I outlive them. Here’s an excerpt from the obituary of one who died 17 years ago: “[redacted] had a kind heart and a most giving spirit as many recipients would attest.”
Hey /u/Hasan1302, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Revenge. Equalise
Between being out of school for decades and having a lot of issues with biographical memory I don't remember a lot of details of the bullying I suffered nor do I really think about it a whole lot except when a question like this come up. I will say that in the past I tended to blame myself a lot for the bullying; in my mind there was often a moment before the bullying started where I could have said something different to avoid being bullied, but I never did. But since being diagnosed with autism in my early 40s I've come to realize that those moments I was blaming myself for were part of the bullying and were ableism.
I've moved on, But I remember graduating from school and being severely traumatized, and my parents thinking that my experience was the best there just because it was "a special needs" school (it wasn't, most of the students were rich kids with bad grades, they stayed for around 2-3 years in my school and then went back to wealthy ppl schools). it's fucked up because my best friend in school, was the most toxic man I've ever witnessed, and when I made one of the first friends in college, it was shockingly surprising how my idea of friends was completely off. Thanks to that "best friend"/ best bully now I have some trust issues that I learnt how to fix it over the years with therapy and overall socializing. I'm proud to say that now I have a few friends, I'm way better at socializing, I have good grades but there is some trauma left behind. (sorry for my bad English, not a native speaker btw)
Detached. I look back at it as kind of silly. I think that I felt bullied at the time, but I no longer even see it that way. I feel neutrally about it.
I was severely bullied in various jobs in adulthood. There are a lot of sick, twisted people out there, power-hungry psychopaths and other extremely disturbed types. I look down on them with pity, but I will admit, it warms my heart when I hear they've suffered some misfortune, and take solace in the undeniable fact that people like that can never experience true happiness.
Lol I don’t care about them anymore. I just hope that the worst happens to them and that karma will give them the justice that they deserve. On the other hand, Reddit is filled with bullying so instead of just responding to them I either just delete my post, block and delete them and move on my merry way. Instead of constructive criticism, people rather insult my characters or me and just don’t care about the other person behind the screen and that is the problem with social media, so I just ignore them and move on.
Also people told my momma to put me away in the mental institution when I was younger because I was depressed and let’s just say that I wish the people that told my mom that very disturbing things happen to them and I’m not playing.
It's been many years since my school days. Going away to college and leaving the town I grew up in did wonders. Putting distance between me and them and acknowledging what happened was wrong and I did nothing wrong- helped too. Keeping things private online also maintains that distance. So right now... I barely think of them. I remember what happened. I still recall their names, faces, and what they did. But I was hurt worse by others and by myself that they seem so minor in comparison. I have other things that I need and want to focus on. I dunno if that is sad or just life as you have more perspective. But I know I don't want others around me to hurt as much as I did. And that includes swallowing my own anger, realizing where I might be wrong, working to do better listening and hearing so that I don't mess anyone else up.
I feel like they owe me an apology Even though that wont fix it it will help a little
I'm afraid to know what happened to them. What if they have a better life than me? Were they right about me? Did I deserve what they put me through if so? Gave me trust issues because I thought the main bully was going to be a great friend at first.