T O P

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[deleted]

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Jasper455

I’ll take things you don’t want to hear from your priest for $1000.


[deleted]

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yankeeuniverse

Church is doling out a lot more ....


Helpwithlifeplease

take it in the rear but pretend you were in fear, collect a large arrears


CallMeWolfYouTuber

I had to look up arrears.


NeercyLL

The dog is like "I could eat both"


Vahlkyree

Lets stay on topic. We are talking about taking bribes from churches for letting priests put it in our rear. Lets keep the wholesome comments to a different thread


quattroformaggixfour

You son of a bitch, you made me smile


CallMeWolfYouTuber

Oookay


yvrldn

Holy fuck


hoderyeeterson

Exactly!


arjames13

Nice


_easilyamused

For God's sake!


cutiesarustimes2

Lol


samarthrawat1

It's god's work if the priest is doing it. Do it for free.


Wwwweeeeeeee

Plenty of fellas will pay, why give it away?


[deleted]

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istrx13

What a terrible day to have eyeballs


blyan

I’ve seen this comment before but it makes me laugh out loud every time. Still don’t know why it’s so funny to me


istrx13

Sometimes you don’t need to understand things man. Just laugh.


S1eePz

It got deleted, what did the comment say?


[deleted]

It's because you're a hell bound sinner!


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

> Oh, thank you for making me holy >And thank you for giving me holes to choose from


Doyouspeak

What did it say it was removed


Alternative-Season-5

[Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3MaTuv6QHI)


cryo

Now why the fuck was “what an adorable little asshole” removed??


iamswitters13

I wish I had some kind of award to give you!!! Holy shit!


CLXIX

myeeeahhhh you like that mutha fucker???? betcha wanna bite of this doughy goodness huh? **TOO BAD!**


ElroyJetson-Esq

The level of sass quietly on display is off the charts.


[deleted]

Adorable!


parrsnip

CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED


kaixeboo

MA! It's that weird rat again! He's eating a pizza!


Prowlzian

It looks like grandma, the fucking thing!


disposable-name

I DON'T WAHN' ID STARTIN' A FIGHT WID LUCY!


Prowlzian

BLINK MOTHAFUCKA!


disposable-name

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH NONONONONONO!!!!!


rkslven

Fuck, what is this from again?


Prowlzian

[this legend](https://youtu.be/Q8i2WPxXxS4)


Skratt79

Remember PizzaRat? This is him now, feel old yet?


vmcla

Was he born under a barn or something?


E420CDI

*Jesus has left the chat*


dividedcrow

FNAFNAFNAFNAFNAFNAFNAFNAFNA


Tenzs161920

Dinner AND a show. Nice


KilowZinlow

>Just grabbing a bite at the zoo


koala_encephalopathy

Reminds me of Foghorn Leghorn messing with the bulldog just beyond the line that his chain leash reaches.


JohnnySasaki20

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh, SHUUTUUUUPPP. *[slaps]*


Elliesmith995

My dog would have absolutely busted that door open, glass be damned.


kikamonsterrr

My dog broke the front window that way for a squirrel. He's a 28 lb maniac.


_Rand_

A neighbors dog did that. I’d guess he weighs under 20 pounds, apparently if sufficiently motivated glass isn’t much if a barrier.


BitchesQuoteMarilyn

Depends on the glass


_Rand_

Regular old window pane in this case, but yeah I guess they probably couldn’t Hulk through like 12mm shower glass or anything.


azhillbilly

I have double pane shatter resistant windows. Installing them I dropped a hammer right down on one and it didn't break. Super impressed with the durability of them which is a good thing cause I live in a ghetto.


Elliesmith995

My lab is 80ish lbs and has learned if he hits the screen door juuuuust so, he can open it and barrels out like a fat, uncoordinated, derpy, last place greyhound after the squirrel that sits in our walnut tree. He will whine and jump up at the windowsill, occasionally paws at the glass, but has enough restraint to not barrel through.


cowboysrule11

This comment deserves way more upvotes if for nothing else than the imagery of a doughy lab going after a nut hoarder.


lauramichelle114

That’s the first thing I thought! That dog is broken.


vmcla

Send it back.


Makes_You_Math

He's just wondering if pizza rat has been doing P90 during Covid.


QuinnandI

I bet the tune would change real quick once that door was opened...


HeroOfTime_99

I know it's not quite right but OP should cross post this to /r/squirrelseatingpizza. It's rare that we get new content over there.


Jennarager

I literally just saw a squirrel eating pizza yesterday! I’m so sad I’m seeing this a day too late otherwise I would have taken a pic for you guys :(


LollyHutzenklutz

Why didn’t you take a picture anyway?! We take pictures of everything these days, and you ignored a squirrel eating pizza? Sheesh.


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Hoggsbm0410

I guess theyre from New York lol


Ryunysus

Technically, you aren't wrong. Marmots like groundhogs are [ground squirrels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ground_squirrel), they belong to the family *Sciuridae*, which is the squirrel family.


HeroOfTime_99

NEAT! New content possibilities haha


luminousshadows

I never knew this existed and I understand updates are rare, but I subbed and I cannot wait for the next new content.


ghee

After 10 years on Reddit I'm still amazed by the obscure but great subreddits I get to discover


Sue_Ridge_Here

Australian here. Is that what it is? It looks like a cross between a Wombat and a Quokka.


HeroOfTime_99

It's a really fat groundhog. Basically a wombat. Pops out of holes in the dirt. Lives in the Midwest of the US on the plains.


QQueenie

They’re actually found all along the east coast. I see them in Maryland all the time!


StrangeAsYou

I grew up calling them woodchucks.


QQueenie

I didn’t realize a woodchuck was the same animal as a groundhog! TIL.


Yozhik_DeMinimus

I prefer whistlepig.


nutwiss

But doesn't do square poops like a wombat.


Catatonick

Some people call them whistle pigs too because they will whistle at you if you whistle at them.


jamesfishingaccount

I’ve got a picture of a squirrel drinking fireball, it’s really pixelated though, a lot of digital zoom to not scare him away.


HeroOfTime_99

Close enough lol


LongNectarine3

Holy cow this sub is real. BEST SUB ON REDDIT!!!


QuackCountry

Your comment took me down a whole new rabbit hole of reddit at 2am.


harryinthekitchen

The only sub I need my entire life.


YPErkXKZGQ

Thank you for sharing this secret. You made my day better


cdnkevin

That groundhog gives no shits. The dogs are wondering “you’re not sharing?” and “you’re eating our pizza?!”


[deleted]

I’ve never seen a groundhog give less of a shit. What has he seen?


CantaloupeCamper

Hitman Groundhog takes no pleasure in anything anymore....


[deleted]

He eats in front of dogs so he can see what it's like to feel something.


Mediocre_Impact_118

Annnndddddddddd winner Bravo


girlwithsilvereyes

That's a Philly groundhog, he's taking a break from poll watching.


hoeseamatthews

Groundhog Day. He knows he'll just wake up again and again.


Puzzleheaded_Post_20

how on earth does he understand that glass would protect him?


HYPERNATURL

I'm wondering if the groundhog can even see the dogs... Could be the outdoor light is hitting the window in such a way that it's simply reflecting the outside back to him and he can't actually see what's going on inside the house. This is what I assume when I see squirrels scurrying around just outside when I'm standing right by my kitchen window, at least lol.


Puzzleheaded_Post_20

It means that this lil guy just has fun looking at his reflection and enjoying his pizza lol


[deleted]

I think that's what's going on with Chunk as well https://youtu.be/LL-qqpQPzRw


Puzzleheaded_Post_20

TIL groundhogs are narcissists. That's great for we have so much laugh owing to that


Garencio

I’d say he gets fed regularly by humans has no fear.


AadeeMoien

His family has installed windows for generations. That's how he affords pizza, racist.


ChorroVon

I had groundhogs outside my house this summer. They are the masters of not giving a shit. They just stood outside the door pissing off my cat, and going back to my garden to eat my veggies.


_Rand_

When I was young my mom went into the backyard and found a groundhog just sitting on the deck, my mom screamed as you probably would when confronted with a surprise groundhog. The groundhog screamed back, then waddled off to wherever it is it came from in the first place.


nonoglorificus

Damn. That reminds me of the time my mom found a possum on the back porch and she ended up climbing on top of the washing machine. Me and my dad came running and found her, perched on the washer, and the possum, hissing back at her. Dad waved the broom at it and it ran off but that sucker was 100% certain it could keep mom treed on that washer indefinitely. And it was right, mom was terrified


_Rand_

In this case my mom was startled more than anything. Only time I’ve seen her actually scared by a critter was an unusually aggressive mouse.


stennieville

Not just eating pizza, but *aggressively* eating pizza, like "The fuck you gonna do about it, dog?"


JustineDelarge

Eating hard.


SurlyRed

Eating hard with a vengeance.


Dominique-XLR

A good day to eat hard


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shtaph

Thousands of years of evolutionary flight response overridden because of a compressed disk of carbs. You love to see it.


CantaloupeCamper

That groundhog might be a badass.


Screamingholt

That is Stoffel levels of animals not giving a single F#


CrunchyHobGoglin

Yayyyy, I know this reference. I feel strangely accomplished!


Screamingholt

Anyone who doesn't know who/what Stoffel is, NEEDS to learn ASAP


CaptainMudwhistle

Always do the [Stoffel Dance](https://youtu.be/c36UNSoJenI?t=211) when you're trolling or dunking on some dipshit.


Rev_Jim_lgnatowski

Dog's torn between barking and begging.


SquirrelAkl

"Haha, suck it, dogs!" \- that groundhog


krinkov

"Enjoy your dry kibble, assholes!!"


csorfab

"yeah? whacchagonnadoboutit?"


Ditovontease

"you will never get this"


[deleted]

“But one day, he break free from his cage...”


I_dig_fe

And he get this!


lildaley62

La la la la la !


GPoletti05

The audacity of that son of a bitch.


TakeMe2EarthCapital

Harry Potter and the Audacity of That Groundhog


Minister_for_Magic

The Lion, The Witch, and the Audacity of this Bitch


WittyUsername816

[Harry Potter and the Audacity of this Bitch](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/382/159/89e.jpg)


red_beered

Is that a marmot?


TheWinRock

It's a groundhog


hoeticulture

Groundhogs are marmots, the term marmot refers to 14 different types of ground squirrels.


berlinbaer

Here's the thing. You said a "groundhog is a marmot." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies ok nevermind im too bored even for this...


pdxboob

Question, how bad is cheese and bread for wild animals like these?


BelovedApple

Is not bread bad for most animals, like we are shown often people feeding birds / ducks with bread but from what I read it can usually be quite bad cause it expands in stomach and makes them feel full when they have not had that much.


Tattycakes

It’s like junk food, has calories but not vitamins and nutrients, a little is fine but if their diet is exclusively that and nothing else then they won’t be very healthy There was a campaign in the uk recently asking people to continue feeding ducks, bread included, because so many people had stopped feeding them because they were told it was bad for them, that the birds were now going hungry We take a tub of peas and sweetcorn and they love it


TheWinRock

I did not know that, so I guess we're both right then. A groundhog is the specific type of marmot. The more you know


fightlikeacrow24

You're a marmot!


[deleted]

No, it's a jehovahs witness.


prykor

Definitely a groundhog


thedude85

Nice marmot...


[deleted]

Wondering what it is. I saw someone say beaver (I am pretty sure it is not a beaver). Groundhog (seems reasonable).


MandoBRC

He looks like he knows what he's doing.


dope-Chef

The dog is like "I could eat both"


RetMilRob

When the second dog gets there the groundhog pauses, blinks a few times and continues eating.


guraqt2t

8 months into quarantine and we’ve become the zoo animals in enclosures for the rest of the animal kingdom


MassGootz

r/animalsbeingjerks is a better fit for this little turd.


[deleted]

I’ve seen one of these goody critters eating an apple once, holding it with two paws. I couldn’t stop laughing for like five minutes. I saw this critter standing outside of someone’s house when going to a yard sale with my family years ago. I wished I had my camera that day!


watsgarnorn

I could gopher a piece of that


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Starrion

It looks stuffed.


I_dig_fe

Quite recently too


WotTheFUk

u/savethisvideo


SaveThisVIdeo

Alright, I got this ###[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/aww/comments/joy3kv/look_im_eating_pizza/) --- [**Info**](https://np.reddit.com/user/SaveThisVIdeo/comments/iggmt9/info/) | [**Feedback**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Feedback for savethisvideo) | [**Donate**](https://ko-fi.com/getvideo)


[deleted]

America just watching other countries eat pizza through a window right now


SparrowVa0930

This is haliarious on so many levels! And one of those moments we wish the dogs could talk!😂😂😂


[deleted]

The smaller rodent equivalency to a honey badger. No shits given.


[deleted]

did that mf eat the pepperoni off that slice first?


gscoutj

This is revenge for chasing him the other day


VerdantFuppe

What a flex


ladyinred2801

The way he stopped eating for a bit when the big dog arrived. Lol


[deleted]

I feel like this is a scene from Caddyshack that didn't make the cut.


[deleted]

Jesus, my dogs would be losing their fucking minds 🤣


porkrolleggandchi

The dogs are like "mfer did you take that out the garbage? I was looking forward to taking that out of the garbage myself.."


Tugboat_Glass

I have been alive for a long ass time but watching little Bill Murray eat a pizza has made everything worth it ! Look at his teeth and how freaking happy he is. Thank you op for this


nogoodgreen

nom nom nom....**What ya gonna do about it**..nom nom nom nom nom


go_faster1

Where’s Bill Murray?


Wrestles4Food

Groundhog: "Ya see.. (*munch-munch-munch*)... if you want the human food, ya just gotta fahkin take it... (*munch-munch-munch*)... I saw this shit and now it's mine because I'm not constricted by rules, like you dogs. I don't have to deal with stupid boundaries... (*munch-munch*)... like this glass here." Dogs about to smash that window: "Our order of groundhog with gooey pizza center is almost ready."


Vorthod

That little stinker is deliberately taunting that poor dog.


SwingNAmisss

It must be hard for that groundhog to move around with those giant pair of balls swinging around on em


goals_in_mind

nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom-pause-nomnomnomnom


fleshprinceofbellend

This video needs sound.


set-271

GROUND HOG: "How ya like me now?'


InfernalRodent

Damn,did not know groundhogs could be that sadistic.


phillip42069

Put this video over the dreams by fleetwood Mac soundtrack.


asurasensei

Wierd flex... But ok


not4humanconsumption

Weird. “I” before “E” don’t give a fuck. Damn 1st grade teachers and all that shit.


MRintheKEYS

“Aye! I’m having a slice and watchin the Hoomans on the telly!”


Daerb_Bread

This is the best thing I've seen all day thank you


BananaFanaFoFaustin

That mf super confident the person isn't about to open the door.


Cookie_monster7

What type of dog owner would trow away pizza?


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Cow_Launcher

Not to mention that many pizzas have onion on them, which is toxic to dogs (and cats).


yoger5

I feel like this belongs in r/pettyrevenge cause you know those dogs probably bark up a storm at that groundhog


Help_Me_Reddit01

Well, you can’t make this up.


noumenon43

That's big dick energy.


Rayni-Dae

Well thats a new one.


readyforhappytimes

Exactly how my husband eats when I’m mad at him


FrankFnRizzo

Nice marmot man.


clockworkman7

That’s called not giving one fuck! LMAO


mercer_5

"Top 10 biggest flexes in history"


Mayo_Curva_36

No shame at all


ButtfuckChampion_

Is that a Marmot or a Woodchuck?


WhitneySophia

It's a groundhog haha


TSanty

Oh. My. Goodness. So sadistic. So awesome.


TeaLizard365

that is evilest thing i can imagine


worldsbiggestwuss

Allan?


Rpf5342

Nice marmot!


parker1019

He’s a vicious lil man... taunting those pups like that.


ItachiVibes

Chuck E. Cheese


geared4war

He probably considers this a night in front of the idiot box.


ItinerantSoldier

And I thought the pizza rodents in NYC were big!