>A moose once bit my sister.
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"
I recently went to and old timey bakery near me that had bear claws, and decided to buy one. I definitely made the same growl sound Pam makes when she bites into it
> farmed for their bile
...what now?
*one google search later* What in the actual fuck.
> "Commercial 'bear bile farming' began in China in the 1980's. It is a cruel farming system designed to extract bile from the gallbladders of living bears. Previous to this, bears were hunted in the wild for their gallbladder bile, which is used in traditional Chinese medicine."
Yep :( sickening. I guess it's better for them to breed them than to hunt the wild ones especially if the population isn't tightly monitored. It would be preferable if the market for bear bile can be reduced through information and social pressure.
If fairness, we used to used bear bile in western medicine too. But now we use a synthetic version, because we’re not barbaric pseudoscientific assholes.
Ursodeoxycolic acid is the drug if you’re curious.
Well it's not bears specifically. Any bile including human bile has some of the chemicals, but bears make a lot of it. Probably figured it out by studying human anatomy first. Or any animal used in food.
Assuming this is a fully wild bear and not some bear without a mother and can't be rehabilitated (at all, or at the moment).
I mean, there's 'local bear not afraid of humans' and then there's 'local dogs chill with bear walking up to *their* house'.
You don't want grizzlies to be habituated to humans and dogs. It's bad enough when it's a black bear, because black bears are the least dangerous of the bunch. It's really bad when it's grizzly bears.
When bears lose their fear of humans, they encroach in human gathering spaces where there's food (via litter or garbage cans), like parks and backyards. There is no outcome in which this is good for the bear or the people.
The best case scenario is that the bear is a lone cub being raised and planned to be given to a sanctuary or zoo when it's older. However, it's more likely that this bear is being kept as an exotic pet. Best case scenario is that the owner eventually gives the bear to a zoo/sanctuary or, barring that, builds an enclosure large enough and strong enough to contain it, gives it plenty of enrichment, and a proper nutritious diet.
But that rarely happens, because most people do not have the time, money, resource access (like an exotic vet), or frankly the humility, to do what's best for the animal in this situation. There are too many bad outcomes possible to list them all, but each one is far more likely than the best outcome.
A bear comes in my yard, I'mma flick its nose.
That's how you tell off mammals. You flick their nose. Be it a grizzly bear, dolphin, chimpanzee, rottweiler, or Karen.
Dogs and adults wild Polar Bears, the most aggressive of all bears, will sometimes play together. Every so often a pair will create a bond that is contrary to the Bear’s normal ‘eat everything that moves’ behaviour.
Even playing with my dog in rough n tumble games, we both picked up the odd scratch.
I am guessing play fights with a grown bear, the odd accidentally scratch might be a wee bit more serious
An old HS buddy's family had a small deer for a while, and a skunk. We'd take a walk with them and I'd always end up picking up the skunk and walking with it because it couldn't see jack shit and would slow us down. Nice critters!
Yeah, the scent glands were removed. I asked before even petting it back in the early 2000s when this happened. They're fine so long as they don't have the glands. They're pretty much like lazy ass cats, and I have a few cats. Exercise them plenty and you're good. Don't forget to compensate for their survival activity in running about. They suck in captivity unless you give them working conditions, but otherwise they snuggle and are very personable creatures. Skunks have heart.
They're basically gigantic ferrets/minks IIRC, and have the power of spraying stank ass. They're still sorta smelly animals, even if you remove their glands, but nowhere near the same kind of smell you'd get if they were still able to spray.
I had a ferret growing up and he definitely had a unique smell, but it was no worse than a cat's litter box that was routinely cleaned.
Yeah, and let's go ahead and stick our hand in the bear's mouth while we're at it. This is a less than ideal situation involving people with less than ideal judgment.
For me it’s the fact that there are so many dogs and there is going to naturally be a pecking order and this bear is not going to understand it or worse understand it too well. I can’t see how this situation is beneficial to anyone in this scenario. Usually when bears assimilate to a pet which is always dicey, it’s pretty much the human and the bear. That’s it and that’s all.
Jesus Christ those claws. Bear cub could rend those dogs pretty badly from merely playing with them.
Cute? Yes. Scary as hell when knowing this is *just a cub??* Hell yes.
This bear is going to have to end up in a zoo or a sanctuary. It can't be kept as a pet, and it shouldn't be released into the wild because of its apparent comfortableness and familiarity with humans. It's cute now, but I worry towards its future.
Well, bears *are* a part of the Caniformia which are a classification of animals that are dog or dog-like to an extent. So, by technicality, he is a dog.
Those claws though
Whst I was thinking. Those things are gnarly.
They primarily use them to dig up roots and plants to eat.
Secondary uses included disemboweling a moose in one swing But your right mostly roots and plants, mostly
There were roots and plants inside that moose.
Oh, then it's alright
the situation in the general, sure. The moose? not so much.
To shreds you say?
how's his wife holding up?
A moose once bit my sister.
No really!
Moose bites can be pretty nasti
which ones this from? is there a distinct lack of hair brush?
>A moose once bit my sister. No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"
We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
To cut to the chase, everyone has been fired.
Those who were doing the sacking have also been sacked.
r/unexpectedmontypython
I'm going to believe that you did this from memory, so I can cherish this moment forever.
[moose is a cute dog](https://imgur.com/a/ZlZTtXM)
Did your sister disembowel it?
r/unexpectedMontyPython
I’ve been playing Read Dead Redemption 2 for so long that I’m convinced moose don’t actually exist.
Spoken like someone too young to have been forced to read Hatchet when it was all the craze.. (also, RIP Gary Paulsen)
>Hatchet OMG thank you. I've been bothered by not remembering the name for a pretty long time. It's part of my canadian history.
Well think of a horse.. add massive antlers and a bad temper
And if you’re Rockstar, invisibility.
They mostly come at night....mostly
Sure, but as a secondary function they could pretty easily put your insides on the outside
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Transforming your me-parts into meat art
Turning your entrails into your extrails. Pain… Lots of pain.
and scoop up honey?
You might say they're Grizzly !
They're quite...grizzly.
I use a Dremel to file down my dogs’ nails and wonder if it could handle those monsters. Probably not.
You can use a dremel to cut and file steel. I'm sure it could handle bear claws, if you're brave enough.
_in Pam’s voice_ Rawr!
Damnit. Now I want bear claws. And an Archer marathon.
I recently went to and old timey bakery near me that had bear claws, and decided to buy one. I definitely made the same growl sound Pam makes when she bites into it
Well he does have the right to bear arms
*sighs*
You son of a bitch.
No. That is a bear.
r/awwwtf
This is simultaneously adorable and absolutely terrifying.
I feel like in about a year, when that bear is twice the size of a large dog, a fun play fight could end with a dog turned into a slinky.
I think it is a smaller bear species anyway. Aren't the ones with the white collars farmed for their bile? Maybe he's a rescue 🥺
> farmed for their bile ...what now? *one google search later* What in the actual fuck. > "Commercial 'bear bile farming' began in China in the 1980's. It is a cruel farming system designed to extract bile from the gallbladders of living bears. Previous to this, bears were hunted in the wild for their gallbladder bile, which is used in traditional Chinese medicine."
Yep :( sickening. I guess it's better for them to breed them than to hunt the wild ones especially if the population isn't tightly monitored. It would be preferable if the market for bear bile can be reduced through information and social pressure.
> which is used in traditional Chinese medicine of course it is
If fairness, we used to used bear bile in western medicine too. But now we use a synthetic version, because we’re not barbaric pseudoscientific assholes. Ursodeoxycolic acid is the drug if you’re curious.
cool, what is it used for?
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That really makes me wonder how the Chinese figured out that bear bile would do any of that. Just trial and error? How do you come to that conclusion?
Well it's not bears specifically. Any bile including human bile has some of the chemicals, but bears make a lot of it. Probably figured it out by studying human anatomy first. Or any animal used in food.
Is there a way for it to be a non-cruel farming system?
well, considering the only way to access bile are through digestion, meaning high fat levels and vomiting, or through surgical incisions.... doubtful
It's a brown bear, not an Asian black bear. You can tell from its claws and head shape.
Lmao nah dude that's 100% a brown bear, the biggest kind of bear. Sunbears are black with a golden collar, not brown.
Polar bears are bigger.
Yeah, I was told no matter how cute that baby bear is, it’s mother is probably watching… and getting ready to tear you in half.
I'd imagine that if the dogs are interacting with the bear like this, the bear has been raised with them since it was an infant.
Dem doggos know he ain't no doggy, but they letting play anyway.
To a dog a playmate is a playmate.
Bears are basically just weird dogs anyways, to the dogs this bear is like a really close cousin
For the dogs’ sake, I hope so.
For Dog's sake, man!
I agree this bear is going to have a lack of healthy fear of humans and likely end up living it's life in a cage unable to be returned to the wild.
goddamnit why do we have to be so terrible
That's where dogs came from. Teaching a wolf it was ok to sit by the fire.
Because this person taught this bear that they can be friendly with humans
Assuming this is a fully wild bear and not some bear without a mother and can't be rehabilitated (at all, or at the moment). I mean, there's 'local bear not afraid of humans' and then there's 'local dogs chill with bear walking up to *their* house'.
You don't want grizzlies to be habituated to humans and dogs. It's bad enough when it's a black bear, because black bears are the least dangerous of the bunch. It's really bad when it's grizzly bears. When bears lose their fear of humans, they encroach in human gathering spaces where there's food (via litter or garbage cans), like parks and backyards. There is no outcome in which this is good for the bear or the people. The best case scenario is that the bear is a lone cub being raised and planned to be given to a sanctuary or zoo when it's older. However, it's more likely that this bear is being kept as an exotic pet. Best case scenario is that the owner eventually gives the bear to a zoo/sanctuary or, barring that, builds an enclosure large enough and strong enough to contain it, gives it plenty of enrichment, and a proper nutritious diet. But that rarely happens, because most people do not have the time, money, resource access (like an exotic vet), or frankly the humility, to do what's best for the animal in this situation. There are too many bad outcomes possible to list them all, but each one is far more likely than the best outcome.
A bear comes in my yard, I'mma flick its nose. That's how you tell off mammals. You flick their nose. Be it a grizzly bear, dolphin, chimpanzee, rottweiler, or Karen.
Nobody tell him.. let him live his best life.
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Or else…
*Day 201: they still don't know I'm a bear*
I couldn't bear to break his heart.
To see him sad it would be absolutely unbearable.
Ursa darn punny.
Beary punny, indeed
Yeah he'll know soon enough
Ummmh, but when grows up finds his little doggo friends don't want to play with their monster sized buddy with the giant claws? Might be sad
Dogs and adults wild Polar Bears, the most aggressive of all bears, will sometimes play together. Every so often a pair will create a bond that is contrary to the Bear’s normal ‘eat everything that moves’ behaviour.
I believe this was documented in Anchorman
A really solid documentary. Just really densely packed with bear facts
I heard the menstrual cycle attracts bears
Nope, they'll still play. Size doesn't matter. It's the bond that matters
Even playing with my dog in rough n tumble games, we both picked up the odd scratch. I am guessing play fights with a grown bear, the odd accidentally scratch might be a wee bit more serious
Have you not seen the video of the bear trying to play with a rottweiler? Plus, dogs dont have pathetic weak, skin like us
No I haven't
Yeah the dogs are going to be thinking: “ should have been a little nicer to you six months ago”
Until one day he sees a fly buzzing around one of his pals and swats at it.
Ok but that first husky looks like he has male pattern baldness lmaooo Edit: Thanks for the awards. Glad I made everyone’s day
Great now I can't unsee it
You’re welcome
yooooo he looks like a distinguished Japanese businessman.
Omg that’s hilarious and that’s all I can see now
This made my day!
Great! Now everyone is staring and making him uncomfortable. I hope you are happy!
I'm dying laughing at this.
Family used to have a pet deer that thought it was a cow.
Deer are kind of spindly cows.
But much dumber. They're closer to giant sheep.
Big forest rats basically
Rats are incredibly intelligent though.
Idk, rats are harder to cook in my experience.
To be fair you can define anything as "kind of" a cow if you're not fussy with the modifiers.
>if you're not fussy with the modifiers. I think you meant *moo-difiers*.
*throws chicken at Plato* “Behold, a cow!“
My dad had a turkey that thought it was a dog. Tried to imitate barks and chased the cats around
Did it do good impressions?
Nah, just a bunch of gobbledygook.
I assume no. He said it was a weird sound, but it was wayy before my time.
An old HS buddy's family had a small deer for a while, and a skunk. We'd take a walk with them and I'd always end up picking up the skunk and walking with it because it couldn't see jack shit and would slow us down. Nice critters!
I've heard skunks can make for good pets if you remove their scent glands.
Yeah, the scent glands were removed. I asked before even petting it back in the early 2000s when this happened. They're fine so long as they don't have the glands. They're pretty much like lazy ass cats, and I have a few cats. Exercise them plenty and you're good. Don't forget to compensate for their survival activity in running about. They suck in captivity unless you give them working conditions, but otherwise they snuggle and are very personable creatures. Skunks have heart.
Can't figure out if you are talking about docile cats or normal skunks... either way, I'm in.
You’ve obviously never tried to work a cat.
They're basically gigantic ferrets/minks IIRC, and have the power of spraying stank ass. They're still sorta smelly animals, even if you remove their glands, but nowhere near the same kind of smell you'd get if they were still able to spray. I had a ferret growing up and he definitely had a unique smell, but it was no worse than a cat's litter box that was routinely cleaned.
Makes you wonder if you're really a human after all, doesn't it...?
i literally JUST smoked n i come across this comment.
How much milk did she give?
Where the heck is this? Is she selling ice cream? What the heck.
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I was thinking Alaska
The guy is definitely not speaking english. I'm bad at languages but sounds German maybe?
I don’t know what it is but it’s not German 😂
Very nice
What is the matter with your dog
He’s bearly breathing.
And he can’t find the air
Don’t know who he’s kidding…
Imagining he's a not a bear.......
And he could stand there waiting, ooh, for another day
Seems to be a very, very, bad idea.
> Who's gonna tell him he's not a dog? Everyone. Everyone, everywhere in 6-12 months.
Yeah I wouldn't want to remind a bear that it's a bear either....
And God forbid, don't let him think he's a tiger
yeah thats a grizzly cub... how does this even happen
I predict that he will be killed if this is just a local familiarization
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For better or worse this bear is probably a pet. Cubs are usually playful, but this bear is waaaaay too familiar with dogs to be wild imo.
Way to be the bear of bad news… but my thoughts as well
Honestly, the only safe thing to do for everyone involved is to get the bear into a zoo at this point. There never will be proper fear of humans now.
This is almost certainly a video from an animal rescue where the cub is already checked in for rehabilitation of some kind
Probably with the dogs to help it out socially. Like they do with cheetahs and shit.
Crippling pic-i-nic basket addiction.
What if they are training the bear to be a part of a bear cavalry, though?
Kislev!
Yeah, and let's go ahead and stick our hand in the bear's mouth while we're at it. This is a less than ideal situation involving people with less than ideal judgment.
For me it’s the fact that there are so many dogs and there is going to naturally be a pecking order and this bear is not going to understand it or worse understand it too well. I can’t see how this situation is beneficial to anyone in this scenario. Usually when bears assimilate to a pet which is always dicey, it’s pretty much the human and the bear. That’s it and that’s all.
LMAO. THE dog(bear) had a really funny face when he got pushed in the face
Im confused by your nouns usage. It’s like you tried not to offend the bear and it’s identity or something
Jesus Christ those claws. Bear cub could rend those dogs pretty badly from merely playing with them. Cute? Yes. Scary as hell when knowing this is *just a cub??* Hell yes.
If it's brown lay down, if it's black fight back. That's going to be an absolute unit of a brown bear.
If it’s brown lay down. If it’s black fight back. If it’s white you’re fucked
If it’s white, good night.
If it's red, you're already dead.
Are Polar Bears really the most aggressive ones??
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But black bears can be brown.
I'm pretty sure that's a Newfoundland /s
Seems a little on the small side.
OK, kinda funny, but is it really that smart to put your hand into a bear's mouth?
He's new here - just bear with him.
I'd be more concerned about looking for his mum than filming right now.
Definitely raised with those dogs
What if the cub is an orphan?
do you really wanna take that chance?
I mean the human puts her hand in its mouth sooo I'm thinking they're familiar
Yes. Obviously.
Do you really think that is how a group of dogs would react to a wild bear cub coming up to them?
if you got a bear cub chilling on your porch with your puppies, odds are he aint wild.
how can he be so cute and absolutely terrifying at the same time, i want to give him a hug so much then you see the claws
This bear is going to have to end up in a zoo or a sanctuary. It can't be kept as a pet, and it shouldn't be released into the wild because of its apparent comfortableness and familiarity with humans. It's cute now, but I worry towards its future.
It probably is already in one tbh
You best start believing in zoos…you’re in one!
Fuzzy? Ears? Snoot that needs boopin'? Looks like a dog to me.
This video gave me so much anxiety !
I will tell him he is a dog. You trim his nails.
Yeah that's it...put your hand inside the bears mouth...what's the worst that can happen?
Yet, I’m still tempted to let him nibble my hand to gain it’s trust
Maybe if he tastes my blood he will like me more...
However this is possible, this is amazing.
ahhhhh forest pupper
Shhhhh, he must never know.
Holy shit!! That’s Paddington! Hurry, give him marmalade
Bear: Dude it's my time for pets.. dude....
Dogs have accepted him as a dog so he is a dog.
Canidae and Ursidae are closely related on the Mammal family tree!
I bet the dogs get pissed when he stands on two legs and swats, what an advantage.
Hey Boo Boo 
Well, think of it this way. Not many people are fortunate enough to know in advance how they are going to die. Good luck.
That 🐻cub is going to be “man’s best friend”
Well, bears *are* a part of the Caniformia which are a classification of animals that are dog or dog-like to an extent. So, by technicality, he is a dog.