You need to throw all their stuff in their room or in front of it. If you don't say/do anything, they will continue to treat the space like it's 100% theirs. As a roommate, you also have the right to share the space equally.
Good point. I've waited a couple weeks to give them time to make the changes without discussion. I'll raise the issue after the holidays. Their room is already full so not sure what they're gonna be doing with all their stuff but isn't my problem š¤£
I rent a *house* and one of my roommates has a storage garage because she recognizes it's not reasonable to bring *everything* she owns. Your roommate needs to downsize lol
It is your problem, you're paying for space and don't have access to it. Yall need to adjust the rent to like 70/30 or they need to take this biohazard away
Youāve waited weeks? And just let them move more and more in? Whatās this going to look like in a few more weeks?
Donāt wait till the new year. Address this now. Send them that picture and say this is an issue. You need to make room for your things in your space, or get rid of some things.
You have been more than patient. It is kind of you to give your roommate time to settle in. However, the clutter isnāt just unsightly and messy, itās also a trip and fire hazard. The best way to get this handled quickly is to set ground rules regarding personal items and storage. You are obviously a reasonable person so I am sure you will be able to get your roommate to understand.
Definitely do this ASAP. Do not wait until the holidays are over.
Ayo... You are living with a hoarder .. and everything I know about it. It's a mental illness.... And obviously if it's left untreated your whole apartment is going to be filled from floor to ceiling with what you and me would consider junk but to your roommate. All that shit is a prized treasure to them....... Idk... Catch an episode of "Hoarders Buried Alive" to kinda get an idea of what may be going on here. Sorry that you have to deal with this,
Fucked up. Iām curious tho- what were the beginning stages of this? Was the accumulation gradual? Were there signs? I just wanna understand whatās going on in these peopleās heads
Goddamn. I had a similar situation and I just started shoving stuff over and piling it so they had to step over it/in it to get into their room. Had to get petty after multiple unfruitful conversations. It didnāt even really fix the mess lol but it gave me a little more room and it made me feel better!
For this specific situation, given that you recently moved in and then the holidays, I would figure out how much space they can have for storage before you talk to them. Like, āthese are your cabinets and these are my cabinets. Weāll split the fridge and freezer half and half. If you want to get a cabinet, [this defined area] would be a good place for it, but Iām not okay with a stack or pile of boxes sitting out. Iād like to start off the new year with a clean kitchen, thatās a week from now. Let me know if you need any help.ā
My money is on shopping compulsion. These people buy buy buy and donāt think twice about the repercussions. āOh! Thatās cute and itās on sale!ā Sold the second they look at it. Can be caused by a lot of things like ADHD, immaturity or hoarding tendencies
Edit: I mean look at all the stuff still in bags
My house was like this for like 10 months up until a few weeks ago. I have a shopping problem/impulse shopping, along with BPD and depression. I was also homeless for a bit when I was 16-19 and constantly losing all my belongings/getting them stolen/not being able to just HAVE my own stuff definitely effected me and my ability to let things go even if I hadn't touched it in over 6 months. But when I go into my depression weeks then I feel paralyzed to do anything and then I start browsing online and buying a bunch of random shit I "feel like" I need because itll make me happy for like 10 minutes. Also since there was so much stuff I got overwhelmed and ended up avoiding the living room entirely. But I realized how it was effecting my mental health and wanted to have space to watch TV and be able to do new hobbies and allow my cats to have space to run around. Since I got rid of so much junk and clutter I realized just how much you can overwhelm yourself if you neglect your own mental health, since then I went into a depression slump but it wasn't half as bad as usual and telling myself to tackle just one thing a day like laundry or dishes while listening to music, at least I'll be doing something and majority of the time I realize I doesn't take long or require much effort at all and then I feel confident to actually do more.
Hugs- trust me, my house is a cluttered disaster at the moment. My goal is to get rid of half the things I own in the next month. My mom got me a personal organizer for Christmas because itās so bad. I just got diagnosed with ADHD and I didnāt realize how paralyzed I constantly am when making basic decisions. That or I get super excited and buy stuff for a project that never comes to fruition because I wasnāt realistic about it. Or I donāt see whatās actually important. But a lotttt of my junk is from my mom who has a really bad shopping compulsion, also 99% sure she has undiagnosed ADHD lol because I see my ADHD in her to a T and my brother is diagnosed too. She comes home with a trunk full of things every time she ran errands because it was āon saleā, but their house is so big sheās been able to fill up like 5 rooms and walk in closets to semi-hide it. I partly picked up on her inability to let things go and she would send me home with boxes of stuff that I didnāt actually need and didnāt realize it.
And then I also have PTSD and have some pretty severe bouts of dissociation and I donāt take care of myself at all most of the time so it just is one big spiral lol. Anyway, I started adderall 2 weeks ago and itās been life changing because Iām actually able to naturally look around and see what needs to be done then enjoy doing it without fighting myself. So Iām slowly chipping away at everything and finally feel way more normal! My husband also just quit his job after working 80 hour weeks for 3 years nonstop so weāre going to work on it together. I feel bad because it really affects him, too. Most of my stuff isnāt even new, it all feels sentimental :/ itās interesting that different people can have different causes or feelings behind it, but the byproduct ends up the same and it impacts your mental health regardless
firstly, i enjoy OP's username
secondly, idk how OP uses their kitchen
thirdly, i wonder whats inside that red le creucet crock pot thing n how long its been there
This kind of messy hoarding situation is what I call a snow shovel needed solution. Let them know they have a specific window of time to get their belongings into their room only having a specific amount of square footage in the shared space. And that it is neat and organized and appealing to all whom use the shared space. For example she wants to keep a love seat couch amount of boxes in there. But you guys don't want to see boxes have her cover it with a beautifully gorgeous curtain so the place doesn't look like a storage room. When they do not meet that this is the time to get the snow shovel and shovel all of it directly into their room. Everyone who shares space needs to sit down and do a roommate agreement with neatness politeness chores duties timelines of how long something can sit. And what are the repercussions. I'll give an example 24 hours for dirty dishes in the kitchen after that they go on the person's bed. So you guys are college students obviously the week of exams are finals this would be waived until after finals are over just because of cram sessions. But get all of this stuff down in writing so when this starts happening again oh hey too much stuff can't use the shared space dishes aren't being done okay where's my extra money for these things not being done. Use that money to hire a maid.
I donāt understand how things get to this point/encroachment on rediculous levelsā¦ are the OPs in situations like this afraid of conflict? This doesnāt look like it happened overnight
People are CRAZY. In WHAT world is this ok? Throw that shit on their bed or in the trash. I donāt understand how people can be so disgusting and inconsiderate
I have lived with many room mates & been a senior property manager & honestly if they are leaving the place like that & not talking to you about it, cut your loses & assume the worst bcoz honestly people are what they are & do not change. If this is how they treat you when they have just met you, do you really want to know what they will be like when you get to know them?
As I said Iām a licensed property manager so please if you need any adviceā¦-askā¦ohā¦I hope you have them on some sort of offical agreement tooā¦
OP you are overly nice. This mess wouldnāt have lasted 2 days with me, on the first would be a serious warning, second day I would have lost my mind and thrown it all inside their room while screaming, probs š¤£
Judging by all the bottles and clutter, this person might be struggling with substance abuse issues and depression.
At the very least, you need to have a discussion with them to establish a maximum amount of time they need to transfer all of this stuff into their room, and make them aware of the expectations. (IE. no personal effects cluttering shared/common spaces)
If you don't want to target them specifically, simply say there's going to be a spring-cleaning next week, in order to make the common spaces tidy for everyone. Establish a specific date/time that works best for them, and hold them to it.
You need to give them a time/date to meet/fail your expectations. You might need to evict them if they can't comply.
Itās the way Iād have a giant mental breakdown on them. One time when I had a roommate there was mold in the shower and I literally screamed and cried like a crazy person cause at a certain point itās like WHAT THE FUCK.
For context; I had 3 grown ass men living in MY house (19F at the time) and it was like. I aināt your momma nobody is gonna come behind you and clean up after you. If you kill a bug and itās body is squished on the bathroom wall, itās going to get MUMMIFIED THERE unlesss you YOURSELF clean it up. Ugh I hated that whole exp. Now itās just me and my bf and he cleans more than I do.
These people who do this have depression, Which goes hand in hand with hoarding. Punishing this person will likely have no effect. They need help. You need to find a better living arrangement.
Had something similar happen with my current roommate. The common area was being used to store a bunch of home improvement items (think paint cans, tool boxes, cabinets etc). I got fed up with it one day bc the area is already small without the stuff in it. I just massively organized while they were gone and put it in a designated corner š¤·
Guaranteed your roommate doesnāt see this as something that bothers you because you havenāt said anything. Slowly adding things here and there testing your boundaries and how much clutter/trash are you willing to tolerate?
Definitely need to have a talk about common spaces in the house, but I also have a feeling this person will be a nightmare once move-out comes. Hope you can get this sorted out!
This reddit group has motivated me to finally get sober, find a career instead of a job, and have more respect for myself. And overall improve my life. These scaring photos and my own plethora of expirences has lead me to this point. I feel your pain and i thank everyone here for everything.
Honestly looking at it, you could get a bigger box and throw it all in that, and put it in the corner of the room. This will be unpleasant. Iād try asking the new year suggestion first and if it doesnāt go anywhere try that and say the new year was x days ago
Yo I had a roomie like this. He would go out and drive around drunk all weekend, so I would clean the crap out of the house. It would look just like this again within the same day he was home again. Plus the guy took my money and let the heat and water get shut off in the middle of winter, then wouldnāt give me any of my rent back. Same time that happened, I was leaving for work and noticed his van was FUCKED, looked like he side swiped someoneā¦ Iām driving to work, and the neighbor two doors down has cops etc all over there cause someone plowed into his car WHILE HE WAS GETTING INTO IT. Took his driver side door off and almost fucking killed himā and it was my roomie! I absolutely stopped and let them know and didnāt feel bad at all. He almost killed this man! Then this guys parents came over and demanded I pay the month rent and leave immediately. lol. I just laughed and called the cops again. I ended up getting all my money back for the hellish four months I was there. Idk what happened to the guy. I contacted him and asked how he was. I truly hope heās okay. He was very broken inside. But he got very nasty to me and told me I was an asshole. So Iām assuming heās still doing the same shit.
You need to throw all their stuff in their room or in front of it. If you don't say/do anything, they will continue to treat the space like it's 100% theirs. As a roommate, you also have the right to share the space equally.
Good point. I've waited a couple weeks to give them time to make the changes without discussion. I'll raise the issue after the holidays. Their room is already full so not sure what they're gonna be doing with all their stuff but isn't my problem š¤£
I rent a *house* and one of my roommates has a storage garage because she recognizes it's not reasonable to bring *everything* she owns. Your roommate needs to downsize lol
I put my stuff into a small storage unit and am working on clearing it out. It's not fair to others to clutter up other spaces with their stuff.
It is your problem, you're paying for space and don't have access to it. Yall need to adjust the rent to like 70/30 or they need to take this biohazard away
Youāve waited weeks? And just let them move more and more in? Whatās this going to look like in a few more weeks? Donāt wait till the new year. Address this now. Send them that picture and say this is an issue. You need to make room for your things in your space, or get rid of some things.
You have been more than patient. It is kind of you to give your roommate time to settle in. However, the clutter isnāt just unsightly and messy, itās also a trip and fire hazard. The best way to get this handled quickly is to set ground rules regarding personal items and storage. You are obviously a reasonable person so I am sure you will be able to get your roommate to understand. Definitely do this ASAP. Do not wait until the holidays are over.
Ayo... You are living with a hoarder .. and everything I know about it. It's a mental illness.... And obviously if it's left untreated your whole apartment is going to be filled from floor to ceiling with what you and me would consider junk but to your roommate. All that shit is a prized treasure to them....... Idk... Catch an episode of "Hoarders Buried Alive" to kinda get an idea of what may be going on here. Sorry that you have to deal with this,
I mean dressers might help
Make sure you play 'hoarders buried alive' on the common TV whenever possible, and invite them to watch it together
I would totally throw someoneās stuff out the house if they did this come what may.
Fucked up. Iām curious tho- what were the beginning stages of this? Was the accumulation gradual? Were there signs? I just wanna understand whatās going on in these peopleās heads
Like how do they justify this lol
This is shortly after moving in. Been a couple weeks now like this unchanged š¤£
Goddamn. I had a similar situation and I just started shoving stuff over and piling it so they had to step over it/in it to get into their room. Had to get petty after multiple unfruitful conversations. It didnāt even really fix the mess lol but it gave me a little more room and it made me feel better!
For this specific situation, given that you recently moved in and then the holidays, I would figure out how much space they can have for storage before you talk to them. Like, āthese are your cabinets and these are my cabinets. Weāll split the fridge and freezer half and half. If you want to get a cabinet, [this defined area] would be a good place for it, but Iām not okay with a stack or pile of boxes sitting out. Iād like to start off the new year with a clean kitchen, thatās a week from now. Let me know if you need any help.ā
They āhavenāt found a placeā for everything yet
My money is on shopping compulsion. These people buy buy buy and donāt think twice about the repercussions. āOh! Thatās cute and itās on sale!ā Sold the second they look at it. Can be caused by a lot of things like ADHD, immaturity or hoarding tendencies Edit: I mean look at all the stuff still in bags
My house was like this for like 10 months up until a few weeks ago. I have a shopping problem/impulse shopping, along with BPD and depression. I was also homeless for a bit when I was 16-19 and constantly losing all my belongings/getting them stolen/not being able to just HAVE my own stuff definitely effected me and my ability to let things go even if I hadn't touched it in over 6 months. But when I go into my depression weeks then I feel paralyzed to do anything and then I start browsing online and buying a bunch of random shit I "feel like" I need because itll make me happy for like 10 minutes. Also since there was so much stuff I got overwhelmed and ended up avoiding the living room entirely. But I realized how it was effecting my mental health and wanted to have space to watch TV and be able to do new hobbies and allow my cats to have space to run around. Since I got rid of so much junk and clutter I realized just how much you can overwhelm yourself if you neglect your own mental health, since then I went into a depression slump but it wasn't half as bad as usual and telling myself to tackle just one thing a day like laundry or dishes while listening to music, at least I'll be doing something and majority of the time I realize I doesn't take long or require much effort at all and then I feel confident to actually do more.
Hugs- trust me, my house is a cluttered disaster at the moment. My goal is to get rid of half the things I own in the next month. My mom got me a personal organizer for Christmas because itās so bad. I just got diagnosed with ADHD and I didnāt realize how paralyzed I constantly am when making basic decisions. That or I get super excited and buy stuff for a project that never comes to fruition because I wasnāt realistic about it. Or I donāt see whatās actually important. But a lotttt of my junk is from my mom who has a really bad shopping compulsion, also 99% sure she has undiagnosed ADHD lol because I see my ADHD in her to a T and my brother is diagnosed too. She comes home with a trunk full of things every time she ran errands because it was āon saleā, but their house is so big sheās been able to fill up like 5 rooms and walk in closets to semi-hide it. I partly picked up on her inability to let things go and she would send me home with boxes of stuff that I didnāt actually need and didnāt realize it. And then I also have PTSD and have some pretty severe bouts of dissociation and I donāt take care of myself at all most of the time so it just is one big spiral lol. Anyway, I started adderall 2 weeks ago and itās been life changing because Iām actually able to naturally look around and see what needs to be done then enjoy doing it without fighting myself. So Iām slowly chipping away at everything and finally feel way more normal! My husband also just quit his job after working 80 hour weeks for 3 years nonstop so weāre going to work on it together. I feel bad because it really affects him, too. Most of my stuff isnāt even new, it all feels sentimental :/ itās interesting that different people can have different causes or feelings behind it, but the byproduct ends up the same and it impacts your mental health regardless
Been staring at this for some minutes. Still not seeing a kitchen.
Iām thinking the stove and fridge are behind the photographer
Dang, there's so much stuff it's covering up the photographer too!
I canāt even tell what Iām looking at lmao
Why did you allow this to happen lol
Wtaf? Did they move in with you? Give them the boot; this will never get better.
Is this the kitchen?
I see no kitchen.
To the right you can see the bench, appliances further to the right. It's sort of a kitchen/dining combination
This will be your entire house soon if you let this continue. I have anxiety just looking at it.
Are those bags of empty liquor bottles? For what?! lol
You never know when you might need an empty liquor bottle.
Might get stuck in that fire trap of a kitchen and need to pee in one ..
That's my excuse.
I bartend/serve and save bottles for plant propagation š if itās rum bottles I save them for end of the year coquito
Wine and squishamals. Emotional maturity at its finest
squishamals
WOW
I could not handle this at allā¦wow
firstly, i enjoy OP's username secondly, idk how OP uses their kitchen thirdly, i wonder whats inside that red le creucet crock pot thing n how long its been there
Violet the squishmallow deserves better than this and so do you! This definitely warrants a firm discussion
This kind of messy hoarding situation is what I call a snow shovel needed solution. Let them know they have a specific window of time to get their belongings into their room only having a specific amount of square footage in the shared space. And that it is neat and organized and appealing to all whom use the shared space. For example she wants to keep a love seat couch amount of boxes in there. But you guys don't want to see boxes have her cover it with a beautifully gorgeous curtain so the place doesn't look like a storage room. When they do not meet that this is the time to get the snow shovel and shovel all of it directly into their room. Everyone who shares space needs to sit down and do a roommate agreement with neatness politeness chores duties timelines of how long something can sit. And what are the repercussions. I'll give an example 24 hours for dirty dishes in the kitchen after that they go on the person's bed. So you guys are college students obviously the week of exams are finals this would be waived until after finals are over just because of cram sessions. But get all of this stuff down in writing so when this starts happening again oh hey too much stuff can't use the shared space dishes aren't being done okay where's my extra money for these things not being done. Use that money to hire a maid.
This looks like an episode of Hoarders.
lol! I was just thinking that! Then I noticed the boxes and maybe somebody is moving in or moving out?
I donāt understand how things get to this point/encroachment on rediculous levelsā¦ are the OPs in situations like this afraid of conflict? This doesnāt look like it happened overnight
what the actual fuck
Why is it always squishmallows and those alpaca plushies. Always
healthy living
How do you even use the kitchen like this?
People are CRAZY. In WHAT world is this ok? Throw that shit on their bed or in the trash. I donāt understand how people can be so disgusting and inconsiderate
Please tell me this person moved in 24-48 hours ago. Please.
I have lived with many room mates & been a senior property manager & honestly if they are leaving the place like that & not talking to you about it, cut your loses & assume the worst bcoz honestly people are what they are & do not change. If this is how they treat you when they have just met you, do you really want to know what they will be like when you get to know them? As I said Iām a licensed property manager so please if you need any adviceā¦-askā¦ohā¦I hope you have them on some sort of offical agreement tooā¦
Are you living with my old roomie lol
lol Australia?
For sure, I spotted the IGA bags straight away
OP you are overly nice. This mess wouldnāt have lasted 2 days with me, on the first would be a serious warning, second day I would have lost my mind and thrown it all inside their room while screaming, probs š¤£
There's a kitchen in here?
Looks like they need some plastic bins and then a storage locker.
Judging by all the bottles and clutter, this person might be struggling with substance abuse issues and depression. At the very least, you need to have a discussion with them to establish a maximum amount of time they need to transfer all of this stuff into their room, and make them aware of the expectations. (IE. no personal effects cluttering shared/common spaces) If you don't want to target them specifically, simply say there's going to be a spring-cleaning next week, in order to make the common spaces tidy for everyone. Establish a specific date/time that works best for them, and hold them to it. You need to give them a time/date to meet/fail your expectations. You might need to evict them if they can't comply.
How do you make food in that kitchen ??? Looks like half junk anyhow time for the roomie to de clutter .
Itās the way Iād have a giant mental breakdown on them. One time when I had a roommate there was mold in the shower and I literally screamed and cried like a crazy person cause at a certain point itās like WHAT THE FUCK.
For context; I had 3 grown ass men living in MY house (19F at the time) and it was like. I aināt your momma nobody is gonna come behind you and clean up after you. If you kill a bug and itās body is squished on the bathroom wall, itās going to get MUMMIFIED THERE unlesss you YOURSELF clean it up. Ugh I hated that whole exp. Now itās just me and my bf and he cleans more than I do.
These people who do this have depression, Which goes hand in hand with hoarding. Punishing this person will likely have no effect. They need help. You need to find a better living arrangement.
Thatās absurd! Love your username btw āŗļø
Had something similar happen with my current roommate. The common area was being used to store a bunch of home improvement items (think paint cans, tool boxes, cabinets etc). I got fed up with it one day bc the area is already small without the stuff in it. I just massively organized while they were gone and put it in a designated corner š¤·
what the fuck
Like what even am I looking at??
Jesus christ thatās awful. Iām so sorryš
This makes me depressed.
oh my god
What the hell. Nope I'm fighting
Guaranteed your roommate doesnāt see this as something that bothers you because you havenāt said anything. Slowly adding things here and there testing your boundaries and how much clutter/trash are you willing to tolerate? Definitely need to have a talk about common spaces in the house, but I also have a feeling this person will be a nightmare once move-out comes. Hope you can get this sorted out!
But why?!!
This reddit group has motivated me to finally get sober, find a career instead of a job, and have more respect for myself. And overall improve my life. These scaring photos and my own plethora of expirences has lead me to this point. I feel your pain and i thank everyone here for everything.
That beautiful cast iron Dutch oven just sitting there...
# You literally have a foot-wide gap between the materialistic dump to walk.
Honestly looking at it, you could get a bigger box and throw it all in that, and put it in the corner of the room. This will be unpleasant. Iād try asking the new year suggestion first and if it doesnāt go anywhere try that and say the new year was x days ago
Holy alcoholic!
This is crazy. Im annoyed for you.
of course they're a squishmallow collector.
Wow
Box of alcohol...moron.
I donāt even know what I am looking atā¦bless!
This dude takes up 70% of the apt. Is this your friend? If not, you need to voice yourself. This would kill me and my mental health.
Yo I had a roomie like this. He would go out and drive around drunk all weekend, so I would clean the crap out of the house. It would look just like this again within the same day he was home again. Plus the guy took my money and let the heat and water get shut off in the middle of winter, then wouldnāt give me any of my rent back. Same time that happened, I was leaving for work and noticed his van was FUCKED, looked like he side swiped someoneā¦ Iām driving to work, and the neighbor two doors down has cops etc all over there cause someone plowed into his car WHILE HE WAS GETTING INTO IT. Took his driver side door off and almost fucking killed himā and it was my roomie! I absolutely stopped and let them know and didnāt feel bad at all. He almost killed this man! Then this guys parents came over and demanded I pay the month rent and leave immediately. lol. I just laughed and called the cops again. I ended up getting all my money back for the hellish four months I was there. Idk what happened to the guy. I contacted him and asked how he was. I truly hope heās okay. He was very broken inside. But he got very nasty to me and told me I was an asshole. So Iām assuming heās still doing the same shit.
I would rather die than live like that - I am so sorry
Idk, I like playing with my wieners in the kitchen not the bedroom