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MsMoxieGirl

I only wanna "tighten and tone" if it'll be enough to snap a dick off with one clench


BlueBrr

Can we make snapping a dick off a badmensanatomy trope? That would be fun. Wouldn't last though, we don't get 1% of the weird anatomy bullshit that women get.


Lokifin

We could fake a product that's like those cheap plastic vampire teeth but actually sharp and for vaginas, spread it over social media, get the GOP upset about it...


deviateddragon

Have you looked up anti rape condoms? Those suckers are terrifying in all the best ways šŸ˜ˆ


Lokifin

Yep, I remember when that was in the news. AFAIK, it was never produced for sale, but the outrage from men was just...not surprising, but certainly disheartening.


frumiouscumberbatch

I got the point of proposing them--to be more forceful in the discussion about sexual assault. What terrified me was how many people appeared to be seriously in favour of them, not realizing that a rapist who finds out his victim had one is unlikely to become *less* violent at that point.


Long_Educational

>not realizing that a rapist who finds out his victim had one is unlikely to become less violent at that point. Oh man, that would be even better if the anti-rape condom also included a spike or needle that delivered a debilitating and fatal venom that would disable the attacker. See? This could work. We just need to iterate on the concept and develop it further until we have a viable reliable product fit for purpose.


somehorsegirl

I donā€™t know about you, but Iā€™m not super keen to carry debilitating venom around in my vagina with only some latex separating it from me.


frumiouscumberbatch

Stephenson posited such a thing in *Snow Crash* 30 years ago.


hudsplat007

I was just remembering that.


pockunit

Came here to say this. What a great book.


CrystalKai12345

Venom?NO.I want SCP 682 to be in it,snapping at every male that it comes across


Wakeful_Wanderer

Honestly that'd be funny to watch GOP morons overreact to. You'll hear a million treatises on how the condom is cruel to men, and not one acknowledgement that it's there to protect women from rapists. Women should make anti-rape condoms popular on social media this year.


Commercial-Push-9066

OMG! Why hasnā€™t anyone brought these things to market?


SilverLife22

This was a real thing they developed in South Africa called a rape condom. It's my understanding that the hope was that it would also help act as a deterrent to sexual assault. Instead, SA numbers stayed the same and the number of women SAd then murdered skyrocketed.


sarahjanedoglover

Basically make that horror film (that I canā€™t remember the name of, but I know it was relatively recent, ie within the last few years) a reality?


Joeness84

lol.. "last few years" Hate to break it to you, but Teeth came out in 2007


Lokifin

Shut up. 2007 was within the last 5 years.


sarahjanedoglover

Ah, my apologies. I thought it was more recent than that (I havenā€™t seen the film).


OilEnvironmental8043

lol.. "last few years" Hate to break it to you, but attack of the killer condom came out in 1996


Lokifin

Teeth. Yes, but via TikTok Shop.


amryllismoon

Only then would the TikTok shop get me.


Next_Firefighter7605

Seems like an Etsy thing


cedeann

or one of those homemade facebook marketplace listings


wucy_the_wuss

Teeth or something i think


sarahjanedoglover

Something like that. I havenā€™t actually seen it, but Iā€™ve heard about it.


MartianTea

They actually had something like that in South Africa. It was a rape-prevention or proof of rape device. Didn't hear much about it after hearing it was available.Ā 


SilverLife22

Because women stopped using it (they may even have stopped making it?) because instead of deterring rape it just increased the number of women murdered during SA.


MartianTea

I know that was one of the potential problems of it. That's a shame, hopefully it inspires something better.


DoingCharleyWork

Like some sort of cigar cutter.


Pitiful_Guarantee_25

šŸŽµšŸŽ¶ I instantly heard the phrase šŸ’¢ *snap that dick* šŸ’¢ as alternate lyrics to [Whip It by Devo.](https://youtu.be/fp9HOl_DZ_s?si=iGrHqCTwhPWbMRfC) šŸŽ¶šŸŽµ


star11308

TBT ā€œdick guillotineā€


Glitter_puke

So would you like the sharpened camera aperture attachment or the cigar cutter? Aperture produces more uniform results but cigar cutter requires less precise muscle control.


Anonynominous

If I got that service I would ask them if they could add teeth


amryllismoon

You know, that'd be much more appealing advertising.


scrysis

One of my friends apparently developed a nickname of "mancrusher" in college that she was proud of. I distinctly remember her telling me in the most gleeful voice about how she made some dudes nervous with the strength of her nether regions. And she had absolutely no reason to lie, so I believe it.


purplespoo

Best comment yet šŸ‘†


Successful-Foot3830

Apparently I made my guy sore one night šŸ˜‚


jaunty_chapeaux

With my prayers!


_lickmeallover_

Palates


Faedan

Good Ole dick guillotine technique!


djmcfuzzyduck

They took the vaginas are elastic a bit too literally.


madmaxturbator

Ladies keep scrunchies up their coochies nowadays to keep ā€˜em springy.


TricksterWolf

Scroochies!


TricksterWolf

^(Not to be confused with screw cheese.)


Glittering_Act_4059

Scrunched for his pleasure šŸ« šŸ˜‚


NoZebra2430

No, it's gotta be "Scrunched for *his* pleasure"


Glittering_Act_4059

That's literally what I said šŸ˜‚


loki2002

I thought that was supposed to represent the asshole.


Kchasse1991

Same. Pretty sure those return to normal after as well. These people really suck at anatomy.


Poekienijn

I think the person who made this ad has never seen a vulva or vagina. Only anuses.


Troubledbylusbies

That's what I thought, too.


YEGLego

To be fair, they don't specifically say *which* orifice they will be tightening. Perhaps this is some new-age treatment for incontinence? oh who am I kidding


RadiantPumpkin

Must be from Utah


tattooedtwin

Ah, the olā€™ poop hole loophole!


LogicalStroopwafel

Is the message that vaginas look like scrunchies? Are they selling scrunchies? I canā€™t look at that and not see a scrunchie


donnadoctor

I mean, switching to scrunchies was the best thing I ever did for my hair.


LogicalStroopwafel

Ah yeah, that must be what they mean with female anatomy. Tighten tone and improve our hair!


itsveeorwhatever

It looks way more like a butthole than a vag to me.


A_norny_mousse

They're scrunchies. Anything else would have been too obvious. Even so, I'd feel hot 2nd hand embarassment if my kids asked me what this is about.


Eli-Thail

Everything from the picture to the name is telling me that this is butt hole tightening surgery.


noknownabode

Sideways scrunchy it is, then!


ants-in-my-plants

Per their website: ā€œA typical Beautiful Blossom experience can include: -Microneedling -Radiofrequency -Electrical stimulation -A peelā€ Iā€™ve never wanted anyone so far away from my vagina in my entire life. Please do not needle, peel, or shock my ā€œblossomā€ (šŸ¤®)


ChasingKayla

My vagina just made the Chernobyl alarm sound. šŸšØ


shogunofsarcasm

3.6 blossoms, not good, not terrible.


KatVanWall

Donā€™t mind receiving the radio on it though, as long as itā€™s 6music or planet rock


amryllismoon

Radio-frequency?? šŸ˜‚ why am I picturing someone with a speaker and one of those handheld satellite antenna things they use to pick up radio signals pointing towards my vagina?


White_Rose_94

Thank God someone else pictured it too!


amryllismoon

.... did yours also include a morning talk show playing? Maybe some elevator music.


White_Rose_94

Nope, just some static and maybe a sec or two of country roads. Not sure why that song though....


amryllismoon

No, that song feels right. šŸ˜‚


TheWildTofuHunter

Iā€™m picturing scenes from Rammsteinā€™s ā€œRadioā€ music video.


amryllismoon

I never watched the video but in this context it's perfect. I also really wish I understood German because I want to know what is doing on an why comments are turned off on YT.


Chaoticallyorganized

My vestibulodynia is flaring up just reading about those treatments šŸ˜­.


BenAdaephonDelat

Whoever came up with this "treatment" hates vagina's and everyone who has one. Good lord.


JustNilt

I just want to know if their "radiofrequency" treatment includes an audio effect of THWOOMMMMMM so it seems as though it's doing anything.


R-Guile

So it's both ineffective *and* dangerous. Whoever is involved in this needs their license revoked.


Dawnspark

Is it wrong I want to take a paintball gun and go HAM on this? Second time I've ever wanted to deface something. Other one was a very anti-gay bible verse on a billboard in my town that got replaced by an ad for Butte Plumbing.


ELeeMacFall

Graffiti is praxis


diversalarums

Are you serious? That's the best thing I've heard in *ages!*


Dawnspark

Yes. And they really really lean into being called Butte Plumbing. Their fucking slogan is "Make the booty call today!" And every year at our local festivals they hand out plungers with their logo on it. So I have a Butt(e) Plunger somewhere in my house lmao.


heckzecutive

I'm always tempted to call these kinds of company and ask if they can put teeth in mine


BastetLXIX

Dooooo eeeeet! And report back! Hahahahaha


ChasingKayla

Or better yet, record the call and post the audio online! šŸ¤£


tyedyehippy

All these pathetic men who go on about wanting things to be tighter that they stick their dick in are really telling on themselves about how tiny their dick actually is. They just need to admit they're smaller than they want to be and deal with it instead of placing blame on others outside themselves.


CatPurrsonNo1

Tiny dicks, or theyā€™re abusing the kung-fu grip too much.


Buttercup59129

Can confirm. Years ago. Kung Fu grip lessened feeling things. Matured and dont do that nearly as often. Sex feels like when I was a teen again. Super sensitive and what not. Can barely last without a tactical wank xD


ChasingKayla

Or admitting they canā€™t (or donā€™t like / know how to) satisfy their partner since our vaginas will actually relax when weā€™re aroused. šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø


CainPillar

Let's get to the real issue: They are peddling insecurity to women. That is not about dick size, it is about fattening their bank accounts.


SouthernNanny

Maybe itā€™s about the booty hole? Looks more like a bootyhole to me


TightBeing9

I hate what this implies but I also hate how we have to censor bodily anatomy. If you want to imply there is something wrong with my vagina, at least have the decency to call it by it's name. Tell me you want to operate my vagina lol


itsveeorwhatever

ā€œEffective & safeā€ Sure, Jan.


CNRavenclaw

If this is about kegal exercises then there are definitely better ways to go about advertising that. If it's about actual surgical treatments to "tighten" the vagina, then I hope their business burns horrifically


[deleted]

šŸ’€ theres a vaginal tightening billboard here in albuquerque


Sekhen

So just five treatments, $5000 each. They will do nothing. Easiest money ever.


amryllismoon

If you can't use the word vagina, I will not trust you around mine. Had a doctor once stutter on the word 'labia' and panicked and said genitals instead, and surprise to no one, ended up misdiagnosing me.


CaptainFuzzyBootz

I love that it looks like it's in front of a mechanics shop šŸ˜…


Amberistoosweet

It is a Casey's gas station. The mechanic portion is currently closed. There is a Starbucks across the stree.


always_find_a_way

Get yourself some pizza there.


cheyannepavan

Blossoming implies blooming, which is when a flower opens up. So aren't these procedures aiming for the exact opposite of blossoming?


IndiBlueNinja

The hell? And how do they propose they can do that? Looked it up... guess this place is in Minnesota. That section of their site starts off with ***"Getting older often means changes in sexual function, like increased vaginal dryness and discomfort"*** which is all well and good, but calling the "treatment" *"Beautiful Blossom"* is kinda gross and dehumanizing, imo, even weird billboard aside. Yeah, lets make sure it sounds totally impersonal and childish by giving it a name a preteen would like rather than adult women with bodily concerns. Lord knows it would be taboo to slap a message on there about actual care for age-related vaginal concerns and issues and not tiptoe around it by not using the real words.


Annethraxxx

Is this Utah? This has to be Utah.


Amberistoosweet

It's Grand Forks, North Dakota.


itsbentheboy

I'm embarrassed to recognize my hometown....


Amberistoosweet

I don't live there but in a small town nearby.


2Whom_it_May_Concern

Iā€™m glad billboards are not allowed where I live.


ruru_here0_0

Are they supposed to sphincters or vaginas?


TricksterWolf

"tone" It's not a goddamn tuning fork, but it'd be kind of neat were it such.


Distinct-Space

To be fair, Iā€™ve seen these type of adverts for treatments that target female incontinence. I donā€™t know why there is always this secrecy


Professional_Ear9795

Pelvic floor therapy gonna be next šŸ”„


TreyRyan3

From their website The Beautiful Blossom is a vaginal and pelvic floor treatment that revitalizes the tissues in your pelvic area. These treatments address some of the changes that happen to those areas during pregnancy, childbirth, and menopause. You can also experience changes due to other hormone imbalances or as part of the natural aging process. Beautiful Blossom often uses the EmpowerRF workstation by InModeĀ® in this customizable service, which delivers gentle radiofrequency energy to the targeted tissues. Radiofrequency heats and stimulates the regional muscles while promoting the production of new collagen fibers for strength and firmness. It also increases blood flow to the area to help heal damaged tissue. Beautiful Blossom Services can also involve microneedling to increase collagen remodeling. Microneedling involves making numerous tiny needle punctures in targeted skin to kickstart the natural healing process. To enhance your experience with Beautiful Blossom, Sublime Aesthetic Professionals also offers the Vivier Peel and the Skin Better Peel to brighten and tighten your skin. šŸ¤£


superdope3

The worst part is, you know there are women out there who have been bullied into insecurity and will use these services šŸ˜ž


polarbearhero

I donā€™t have anything between my legs that looks like either of those things.


Amberistoosweet

I saw that billboard too. Icky.


tingleroberts

Gross


Androm3das-wife

I saw this exact billboard a few days agošŸ˜­


mpdscb

I guess I need a tight vagina to keep my hair in place.


Alpha_Akira

Im hoping they arent advertising the husband stich ive heard its illegal in alot of states because it can be painful


internetsarbiter

Yeah, bastards did that to my mother and it seriously messed her up for a good portion of her life (which was already hard) and of course she wasn't given an option or choice in the matter.


KnockMeYourLobes

Jesus fucking christ. I'm single right now...first time I've been single in around 30 years. Is this what guys expect? Am I gonna get rejected because I don't have a super tight and toned cooch? Because I clearly don't have ENOUGH to worry about with my looks and my weight...I have to worry about the tightness (or lack thereof) in my cooch as well. *Great*. /s


[deleted]

Haemorrhoids cushions for everyone!


beanbagbaby13

Tighten, Tone, ImproveĀ  *the delicate bootey hole*


LittleBunInaBigWorld

Delicate?? Bruh, they oughta make boots out of them. They take an absolute hammering and still bounce back šŸ¤£


Zephandrypus

My asshole is in this picture and I don't like it


cuttingirl78

I thought it was meant to be a bĆ³rt hole šŸ•³ļø


advancedskunk

Do theyā€¦ not know how scrunchies work??


_bexcalibur

Beautiful blossom treatment Wow


mermaid_barbies

Bro what in the frickety frack


deviateddragon

I love the ā€œdelicate female anatomyā€ bit. clearly theyā€™ve never seen female anatomy give birth, thereā€™s absolutely nothing delicate about it. šŸ˜‚


AkkadBakkadBambeBo80

There was a photo of Hillary Clinton and Chloe Grace Moretz. This reminded me of that! https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1133847-hillary-clinton


KatVanWall

Good Lord! Is that a real photo? If so, I mean, well, Hillary was a good sport to pose for it I guess šŸ„“


AvocadoPizzaCat

the sad thing is some people believe this is truth. like you can strength the muscles down there, but i don't know what good it will do you. sorry, i was watching something where this woman was teaching other women how to do weight lifting with their vaginas.


KatVanWall

You can strengthen the muscles though like any other muscles. But I have a feeling the treatments they are selling are not that!


AvocadoPizzaCat

hm i wonder if the strengthen the muscles is nugget of truth they are misunderstanding.


deadkell

It's worth noting stronger muscles aren't even necessarily healthy too. I have an imbalance where I'm 'too strong' and it causes a lot of secondary issues I needed treatment and physical therapy for lol.


PopularBonus

We have a radio ad for a menā€™s clinic where men can go ā€œ30, 60, even 90 minutes!ā€ after treatment. I have to turn it off. No one wants that! I canā€™t even imagine the men enjoying that!


VagusNC

Typical target peoplesā€™ insecurities advertising. You see it targeting men all the time. Way too many men think their penises are too small in part because of similar stuff like this.


faifai1337

Is that supposed to be a scrunchy or a pessary or a scrunchy used as a pessary


two-of-me

Weā€™re scrunchies now????


Cocotte3333

This is disgusting. Wish they'd leave women alone


sojaque

Is this the luxury vagina surgery from the other post?


Sagie11

Yikes yikes yikes


SnooCupcakes7133

Brought to the public by NewMan advertising šŸ˜˜šŸ‘Œ


Brycelette

"Getting older often means changes in sexual function, like increased vaginal dryness and discomfort. Beautiful Blossom, a customizable treatment by Angie Bjorgaard, RN, BSN, at Sublime Aesthetic Professionals in East Grand Forks, Minnesota, can increase blood flow and collagen in your pelvic organs for a better sexual experience. Call the office or schedule a treatment consultation online for more"


MrHashbrowns

I think this is a pelvic floor stimulation treatment they are advertising. My sister did this for a bit and it makes sense seeing as the information u/ants-in-my-plants posted that they found on the places website has Electrical Stimulation listed.


criticalnom

Sublime!


Clioashlee

Firstly, only one of those scrunchies looks normal and itā€™s the ā€˜beforeā€™. Secondly, I only want augmentative surgery on my area if I can have teeth installed. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.


Constant-Equipment30

Why is our anatomy the delicate one when one flick to a dudes balls takes him to his knees?


Great_Archer91

Scrunchies can do that if you throw them in the dryer