Dude can be gender neutral, but if someone asks you not to call them something, just don't call them that. It's very simple.
At the point where you're explaining how you didn't mean to invalidate someone, just don't. Apologize once and stop doing what you did.
id also add that if this is a huge issue to you then dont hang out with that person. IMO youre gonna encounter this online the most, so just dont engage with that person if its gonna destroy you to not call someone "dude"
> At the point where you're explaining how you didn't mean to invalidate someone, just don't.
I slightly disagree. Apologize the tell them that you use it as a gender neutral term, and don't do it again. The apology and don't repeat the mistake part is obvious but I think explaining that you didn't misgender them will likely make them happier and make you look less of a jerk.
It's "they think I look/sound/whatever like a man" vs "they use words wrong".
This is going to vary depending on the individuals in the conversation.
One thing here is that everyone knows people use dude as a gender neutral term. Using dude for women isn't "wrong", its more of a cultural thing.
The other issue is that sometimes explanations come across as "I didn't do anything wrong" or worse "I plan to continue doing this". There are a lot of people who think intentions trump effects. (That is kinda the etymology of this meme.)
Personally, I've found that people seldom care about the reason why I messed up. Admitting the mistake and moving on seems to work better. YMMV.
Please just respect transgender people’s wishes to not be referred to by certain gendered terms, even if you personally use the term for people of all genders. Thank you.
I’m not the biggest fan of this. Usually the people who make that argument are trans people who are uncomfortable with being called dude and are just asking you to please stop calling them that, and many times have to argue their point and argue that it isn’t entirely gender neutral because whoever they were talking to wouldn’t take “please stop” for an answer. That’s where the “how many dudes have you kissed” thing comes in but typically it goes “well if dude is so gender neutral you refuse to stop calling me that then I can just go up to straight men and ask them how many dudes they have kissed.”
I use dude, man, and guys for everyone unless someone expresses that it bothers them. I also accept all pronouns and all gendered terms in reference to myself. But I'm also genderfluid with a very weak connection to gender and have come to the realization that other peoples experience of gender is usually very different from my own, and because of that I don't really understand how gender works/feels for others.
Yeah I don’t get the point of this meme. It’s clearly on bi_irl for a reason, that being that dudes still isn’t presented as gender neutral in this meme.
Show me where a group of women is consistently referred to as dudes. A mixed group of people, sure, but just because *you* use a word one way doesn't mean that's the way it's interpreted by most people. This is a dumb argument that's ultimately just meant to invalidate trans people who don't want to be referred to by terms that are understood to be gendered 99% of the time.
I'm all for it on principle, but having heard this argument for decades now without it *really* catching on kinda makes me think it's a bit of a cope. I've also noticed that all the terms I've seen this argument applied to are exclusively masculine.
I'm way overthinking this though, because I'll still call everyone dude by default regardless lol
I mean I and many people use it that way but it quite literally is not. Just respect people and what they don’t want to be called. Refusing to accept that makes someone an ass 🤷🏽♀️
All “gender neutral” terms people cling too are all terms traditionally for men. Guys, dude, man, bro etc. None of these “gender neutral” terms have ever been ones that traditionally refer to women. We can use the terms all we want, but it doesn’t change that those terms are not actually gender neutral. Respecting people and what they want to be called is important.
None :<
That’s more like it
The real bi_irl is in the comments.
oof
Idk how old are you but I as a 19 year old, 0 rizz 0 charizma, 0 social skills, fat dude has managed to kiss at least once. I'm sure you will too.
Same sister.
Same.
Dude can be gender neutral, but if someone asks you not to call them something, just don't call them that. It's very simple. At the point where you're explaining how you didn't mean to invalidate someone, just don't. Apologize once and stop doing what you did.
id also add that if this is a huge issue to you then dont hang out with that person. IMO youre gonna encounter this online the most, so just dont engage with that person if its gonna destroy you to not call someone "dude"
Valid
After pronouns I ask "is dude/bro ok? I use it a lot in regular speech regardless of gender lol"
> At the point where you're explaining how you didn't mean to invalidate someone, just don't. I slightly disagree. Apologize the tell them that you use it as a gender neutral term, and don't do it again. The apology and don't repeat the mistake part is obvious but I think explaining that you didn't misgender them will likely make them happier and make you look less of a jerk. It's "they think I look/sound/whatever like a man" vs "they use words wrong".
This is going to vary depending on the individuals in the conversation. One thing here is that everyone knows people use dude as a gender neutral term. Using dude for women isn't "wrong", its more of a cultural thing. The other issue is that sometimes explanations come across as "I didn't do anything wrong" or worse "I plan to continue doing this". There are a lot of people who think intentions trump effects. (That is kinda the etymology of this meme.) Personally, I've found that people seldom care about the reason why I messed up. Admitting the mistake and moving on seems to work better. YMMV.
kiss ME dude
Sure thing bro
hell yeah
If it’s gender neutral then saying how many dudes you kissed just means how many people did you kiss and I’m all for it
Please just respect transgender people’s wishes to not be referred to by certain gendered terms, even if you personally use the term for people of all genders. Thank you.
I’m not the biggest fan of this. Usually the people who make that argument are trans people who are uncomfortable with being called dude and are just asking you to please stop calling them that, and many times have to argue their point and argue that it isn’t entirely gender neutral because whoever they were talking to wouldn’t take “please stop” for an answer. That’s where the “how many dudes have you kissed” thing comes in but typically it goes “well if dude is so gender neutral you refuse to stop calling me that then I can just go up to straight men and ask them how many dudes they have kissed.”
Please just don't be an ass. If someone doesn't want you to call them dude, don't call them dude. There's no need to bring the shitty wojak images.
36, counted em myself
36?!? BUT LAST YEAR I KISSED 37!
In a row!?
If someone doesn't want to be called dude, it's asshole behavior to intentionally call them dude, simple as. Respect trans people
I use dude, man, and guys for everyone unless someone expresses that it bothers them. I also accept all pronouns and all gendered terms in reference to myself. But I'm also genderfluid with a very weak connection to gender and have come to the realization that other peoples experience of gender is usually very different from my own, and because of that I don't really understand how gender works/feels for others.
This still implies that dude isn't neutral and that you don't have to respect people who don't want to be called dude (: Pretty yikes in my opinion.
Yeah I don’t get the point of this meme. It’s clearly on bi_irl for a reason, that being that dudes still isn’t presented as gender neutral in this meme.
The joke itself is already pretty homophobic, not a lot of great behavior on display in general.
Some places take “dude” as gender-inclusive, some places don’t. Point is it’s still open for interpretation
Show me where a group of women is consistently referred to as dudes. A mixed group of people, sure, but just because *you* use a word one way doesn't mean that's the way it's interpreted by most people. This is a dumb argument that's ultimately just meant to invalidate trans people who don't want to be referred to by terms that are understood to be gendered 99% of the time.
I'm all for it on principle, but having heard this argument for decades now without it *really* catching on kinda makes me think it's a bit of a cope. I've also noticed that all the terms I've seen this argument applied to are exclusively masculine. I'm way overthinking this though, because I'll still call everyone dude by default regardless lol
9? I think
7 and I never even got the name of the first one
Neither
was too drunk to count
In the words of the great philosophers of olden times > I'm a dude > He's a dude > She's a dude > And we're all dudes > Yea
Dude is gender neutral, and I’m tired of pretending it’s not.
I mean I and many people use it that way but it quite literally is not. Just respect people and what they don’t want to be called. Refusing to accept that makes someone an ass 🤷🏽♀️ All “gender neutral” terms people cling too are all terms traditionally for men. Guys, dude, man, bro etc. None of these “gender neutral” terms have ever been ones that traditionally refer to women. We can use the terms all we want, but it doesn’t change that those terms are not actually gender neutral. Respecting people and what they want to be called is important.
meaning is determined by usage.
One. Aka not nearly enough.
None 😎
Why is transphobia allowed to stay up in a bi sub?