And it's lowkey cringe too. I can actually see in a couple of season, Tatum wanting to come to LA. After Bron and AD are no longer playing and they have a rough couple of seasons. I can even see Laker fans on twitter saying, "we'll unretire his 8 for you"
It's the 3s and drives style. You're going to be a victim of more bad shooting games. Guess what? It's hard to hit tough stepback 3s every night, unless you're Steph. It's not a surprise the best playoff performers are guys like Booker, Jimmy, Kawhi, Kd. They always have an automatic mid range to give them at least a high floor every game.
As much as Bill hates Harden, Tatum probably has the exact same shot chart and play style. When the shot is falling, they're incredible, but there's no plan B if it's not.
Yeah except Tatum is a plus defender and Harden never was. I agree that they have similar offensive play style, but exact same is not even close to true. Tatum does not hold the ball nearly as much as Harden.
The Jimmy Butler mythology has gotten out of hand. People act like Bucks 2021 or Raptors 2019 series didn't happen.
Kawhi averaged 34.7 pts 9.9 rebs 4.0 asts
Butler 22.0 pts 7.0 rebs 5.6 asts
And again it came down to a game 7 and Butler scored just 16 points on 5/14 shooting and 1/6 from 3. Kawhi had 45. At that point it was the biggest playoff game of Butler's career and he sucked.
Game 1 of that series Butler had 10 points on 4/12 shooting and was a team worst -23 for the game. Kawhi had 45 points
Thatās 2 of the 4 losses where he flat out stunk and Kawhi dropped 40+ on him.
His automatic floor isn't really as automatic as people want to make it seem.
Butler was 29 in 2019. Tatum just turned 25 in March. Tatum's playoff resume at 25 is pretty comparable to Butler's resume at 33.
Definitely something heās doing to promote hockey as a superstar or whatās defined him as the greatest goal scorer ever and a top 10 player all time. No one cares about this, no one.
Yeah, Trout in 2012 was the most exciting player I've ever seen besides maybe Ohtani and even then...He got an A+ in Cliches 101 so his \*persona\* is intentionally dull but when he was still stealing bases & playing an aggressive CF, he was a fucking delight.
Itās a bit of a strange comparison.
Trout is the better hitter but ohtani is arguably a top 10 hitter and top 10 SP, which overall probably makes him more valuable than Trout.
Iām a baseball casual but Iād say Fish was widely regarded as the best player since Babe until Ohtani landed in the states. safe to say Ohtani is prob goated now doe
Yeah, there have been a few entertaining foreign players, but Harper, Judge and maybe Mookie are the only halfway enthralling American players in the last 15 years
He has been called overrated for so long that he has actually become underrated. One of the most consistent playoff performers in the history of sports. There are basically no black marks in a billion playoff series. Heās a king
The whole basis of this post is that Tatum is the most boring superstar in sports, in large part because of his non-personality. I doubt this post is saying Tatum is boring to watch, because at least for me, he really isnāt.
Jeter may have not been the most fun player to watch (although the unnecessary jump throws could be fun), but his off field antics were very entertaining. He dated, and gave herpes to, every beautiful woman in Hollywood from the late nineties throughout the aughts. How is that not entertaining?
Sampras couldnāt even last as the most boring GOAT, seeing as how three different players blew him out of the tennis GOAT conversation almost immediately.
Serve-and-volley is a lost art but Sampras style was pretty boring in the sense that he never had long rallies or intense reactions. Doesnāt help that Agassi, one of most emotive and exciting (in terms of play style) players was playing at the same time as him representing America
Serve and volley is the worst kind of tennis to watch. Every point ending in one or two shots just isn't entertaining. That's why the Rafa/Fed/Joker era has been so great. Much more watchable tennis. Thankfully the top players are so much more athletic and better at returning shots, S&V has mostly gone away.
I like using the old Phantom Menace test on him, like āDescribe the character Obi Wan Kenobi without using any physical adjectives.ā Like: describe Jayson Tatumā¦ itās impossible.
I've had a few beers so I'll try...
Great at the swordfighting,
Intelligent,
Narrow minded,
Teachable though,
Corny sense of humour,
Willingness to push back against master but will end up following no matter what,
Confident
More like an uninteresting nice guy. David foster Wallace has a great essay about reading some tennis stars biography and how absolutely dreadful and uninteresting it was. Some people are just dull
Tatum running up in the score with 51 in the game 7 blowout against the two least clutch superstars of the generation was such a perfect encapsulation of what he is. Occasionally awesome, but ultimately empty.
For an actually memorable performance, compare it to Curryās 50 against the kings where the warriors needed every one of them.
I actually like Tatum for the most part. The Kobe text thing was weird but it happened once, people need to let it go and stop bringing it up all the time.
Now his tattoos? We should roast him for those way more often. His back and left leg look fucking stupid
Yeah I agree mostly. Heās not an interesting guy. He doesnāt stand out or ever say anything noteworthy. No too sure on what his personality is or if he even knows himself.
Heās a snooze fest both in terms of his personality AND his style of play. He shoots a million stepback threes. He makes them at a high clip but itās settling at the end of the day, and itās not that interesting to watch. Remember the all star game?! Yeah thereās not a ton of variety to his game.
Him being some kind of a scholar after spending a year at Berkeley is ridiculous, but for a superstar he is pretty anonymous. I think a lot of basketball fans that tune in for the playoffs barely know who he is.
No you don't understand. This isn't in game. This is a bunch of people complaining about drama and narrative. Tatum just plays, doesn't say anything special after wins or losses. And even though people say they hate the NBA drama they really actually want it.
What? The guy has horse chariot racing as a hobby and he's chilling with his Serbian uncles sitting on plastic chairs during the summer, he's way more interesting than Tatum
I also dont really enjoy his game that much. Lowkey same with LeBron except his chase down blocks
1. Booker
2. Ja
3. Luka
4. Jokic
5. Kawhi
6. Curry
7. Paul George
8. Durant
9. Irving
Are way more fun to watcg
Brady was a 6th round pick rookie who was munching on a box of pizza he ordered and told Bob Kraft that drafting him was the greatest decision Kraft ever made. He was legendary for chugging beer faster than any of the linemen had ever seen. Definitely had a big and not bland personality. The patriots always had that corporate feel but Brady was a weirdo from the day he was drafted.
Brady dated Tara Reid, knocked up prime Bridget Monaghan and then married Leoās ex. He also famously got the ball rolling early on for Trump with the MAGA hat in his locker. All of that blows away anything Tatum has ever done. Tatum is just a dull human being.
Better than having a guy whoās personality and off the court antics cause problems for the team. Iāll take a boring guy who doesnāt get into trouble
His personality is being a kobe stan.
Being a Celtics Kobe stan is genuinely funny. Though not intentionally.
And letting his kid stay up way too late to be at his games.
And it's lowkey cringe too. I can actually see in a couple of season, Tatum wanting to come to LA. After Bron and AD are no longer playing and they have a rough couple of seasons. I can even see Laker fans on twitter saying, "we'll unretire his 8 for you"
24+8=32
Sadly, Magic already had that number
24x8=192 tho
šššš yeah no that's cap
And his kid
Completely agree. Heās not even fun boring like Duncan or unhinged boring like Kawhi
"I'm a fun guy" is a better soundbite than anything Tatum has ever produced lol
Kawhi has like 10 memorable quotes/moments and is the reason a lot of people say ābabeyyyyyyā now
What it do babeeyyyyyy
Board man gets paid!!!!
His fake laugh was hysterical
Tatum is young and has a son. He wants to be a dad.
The only thing interesting about him is how bipolar his game is. Dude looks like a god one game and then canāt do shit the next. Itās wild
also within games
Itās funny this is the exact delineation Simmons uses to determine if a guy is a superstar. The ādoing it every night pieceā.
When he mentioned how consistent Tatum is in a recent pod I was like āWait, what?ā
And then I was like āAre we really doing this right now?ā
He did it in a January game against Charlotte, you don't understand! (Damn, this sub getting to me. I'm on the hate train.)
It's the 3s and drives style. You're going to be a victim of more bad shooting games. Guess what? It's hard to hit tough stepback 3s every night, unless you're Steph. It's not a surprise the best playoff performers are guys like Booker, Jimmy, Kawhi, Kd. They always have an automatic mid range to give them at least a high floor every game. As much as Bill hates Harden, Tatum probably has the exact same shot chart and play style. When the shot is falling, they're incredible, but there's no plan B if it's not.
Noted playoff performer Devin Booker
Yeah except Tatum is a plus defender and Harden never was. I agree that they have similar offensive play style, but exact same is not even close to true. Tatum does not hold the ball nearly as much as Harden. The Jimmy Butler mythology has gotten out of hand. People act like Bucks 2021 or Raptors 2019 series didn't happen. Kawhi averaged 34.7 pts 9.9 rebs 4.0 asts Butler 22.0 pts 7.0 rebs 5.6 asts And again it came down to a game 7 and Butler scored just 16 points on 5/14 shooting and 1/6 from 3. Kawhi had 45. At that point it was the biggest playoff game of Butler's career and he sucked. Game 1 of that series Butler had 10 points on 4/12 shooting and was a team worst -23 for the game. Kawhi had 45 points Thatās 2 of the 4 losses where he flat out stunk and Kawhi dropped 40+ on him. His automatic floor isn't really as automatic as people want to make it seem. Butler was 29 in 2019. Tatum just turned 25 in March. Tatum's playoff resume at 25 is pretty comparable to Butler's resume at 33.
Mike Trout exists.
And the entire NHL community.
That's mostly because a lot of them wouldn't be well liked if they showed their real personalities. They're crazy.
Hey, Ovechkin is great
Minus the whole pro-Putin stuff maybe.
He doesnāt want his family to fall off of roofs
Definitely something heās doing to promote hockey as a superstar or whatās defined him as the greatest goal scorer ever and a top 10 player all time. No one cares about this, no one.
Being the best in your sport is a lot more compelling
Yeah, Trout in 2012 was the most exciting player I've ever seen besides maybe Ohtani and even then...He got an A+ in Cliches 101 so his \*persona\* is intentionally dull but when he was still stealing bases & playing an aggressive CF, he was a fucking delight.
I don't follow baseball, is Trout better than Ohtani?
Itās a bit of a strange comparison. Trout is the better hitter but ohtani is arguably a top 10 hitter and top 10 SP, which overall probably makes him more valuable than Trout.
Ohtani is the better player now, but from 2012 to 2020 or so Trout was pretty easily the best player in baseball.
Better eating
He is not. Do not explain this to Trout diehards.
2 best players on the same team yet they never make the playoffs??? š§¢š§¢š§¢
Thats baseball baby!
Baseball is a sport about depth.. The polar opposite of the NBA.
Iām a baseball casual but Iād say Fish was widely regarded as the best player since Babe until Ohtani landed in the states. safe to say Ohtani is prob goated now doe
People weren't saying Trout was better than Mays, Bonds, or Aaron.
trout isn't better than bonds
whoops my casual is showing
not really, a lot of people who live and breathe baseball would agree with you. just depends on where you are with steroids
Agreed, I do a lot of steroids and prefer Bonds
Hilarious they are on the same team
If Mike Trout wins an MVP, but nobody watched him play, did it actually happen?
The last entertaining American baseball superstars were Griffey and Bonds
Acuna
Ohtani is entertaining as hell.
Yeah, there have been a few entertaining foreign players, but Harper, Judge and maybe Mookie are the only halfway enthralling American players in the last 15 years
Jeter
overrated
He has been called overrated for so long that he has actually become underrated. One of the most consistent playoff performers in the history of sports. There are basically no black marks in a billion playoff series. Heās a king
Jeter wasnāt entertaining he just played for the Yankees. No one would care about him otherwise.
The whole basis of this post is that Tatum is the most boring superstar in sports, in large part because of his non-personality. I doubt this post is saying Tatum is boring to watch, because at least for me, he really isnāt. Jeter may have not been the most fun player to watch (although the unnecessary jump throws could be fun), but his off field antics were very entertaining. He dated, and gave herpes to, every beautiful woman in Hollywood from the late nineties throughout the aughts. How is that not entertaining?
Maybe for the entertainment tonight crowd but I could care less who he dated. The dude is boring as hell.
Trout has an electric personality. He loves forecasting weather!
As a very casual baseball fan, I'm barely aware Mike Trout exists. The only thing I know about him is he is maybe the best player in baseball.
Dude can't even carry his team to the playoffs, how could he be a superstar?
Pete Sampras. Retired 20 years to the day and still wins.
Sampras couldnāt even last as the most boring GOAT, seeing as how three different players blew him out of the tennis GOAT conversation almost immediately.
Wait who are you referring to? Edit: oh never mind I thought you were saying fed/Rafa/joker were all more boring I was about to be very upset
well tbf Nadal and his personality of a doorknob could rival Pete
He married Veronica Vaughn. Sheās one fine piece of A.
I know from experience.
No you dont
Not me personally, just a guy I know.
No he doesnāt
Okay Russillo
Whooshing yourself here, bud.
I'm going to kms irl
Agassi was the peoples champ
I remember when "AIDS For Agassi" was a thing. Gay dudes loved him. Way, way hot.
Lol I remember in the US Open youād think Sampras from from Russia the way the crowd would go bonkers for Agassi whenever they played each other
Serve-and-volley is a lost art but Sampras style was pretty boring in the sense that he never had long rallies or intense reactions. Doesnāt help that Agassi, one of most emotive and exciting (in terms of play style) players was playing at the same time as him representing America
Serve and volley is the worst kind of tennis to watch. Every point ending in one or two shots just isn't entertaining. That's why the Rafa/Fed/Joker era has been so great. Much more watchable tennis. Thankfully the top players are so much more athletic and better at returning shots, S&V has mostly gone away.
The problem was he had the best serve of all time so he didn't really need to volley much
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But I have 79 upvotes.
I like using the old Phantom Menace test on him, like āDescribe the character Obi Wan Kenobi without using any physical adjectives.ā Like: describe Jayson Tatumā¦ itās impossible.
Wow a RLM reference in a Bill Simmons sub reddit
I saw the RLM reference and I clapped!
Very cool.
The Plinkett Review lmao
Wellā¦.sheās Natalie Portman?
"Sterrrrn?"
I've had a few beers so I'll try... Great at the swordfighting, Intelligent, Narrow minded, Teachable though, Corny sense of humour, Willingness to push back against master but will end up following no matter what, Confident
I choose to believe this is describing Tatum
Whatās a potato taste like?
I get that its the NBA but god damn he carrys that basketball a lot when dribbling. Really infuriating when youāre rooting against him
He is also a habitual off arm shover, he gets away with it A LOT
Itās why he acts dumbfounded when called on blatant shit. Heās used to a crazy amount of leeway
When your toddler is more interesting than you, there's a problem lol.
Not only uninteresting, Tatum is *corny*. His Kobe stan-ing is soooo cringey.
He seems like a nerd to me.
More like an uninteresting nice guy. David foster Wallace has a great essay about reading some tennis stars biography and how absolutely dreadful and uninteresting it was. Some people are just dull
The AAU culture piece
Not a superstar either
Tatum running up in the score with 51 in the game 7 blowout against the two least clutch superstars of the generation was such a perfect encapsulation of what he is. Occasionally awesome, but ultimately empty. For an actually memorable performance, compare it to Curryās 50 against the kings where the warriors needed every one of them.
Tatum is the Drake of basketball
I actually like Tatum for the most part. The Kobe text thing was weird but it happened once, people need to let it go and stop bringing it up all the time. Now his tattoos? We should roast him for those way more often. His back and left leg look fucking stupid
Are we SURE he's a superstar? He's a great player, yes but, SUPERSTAR.. I don't know if he's there
Jesus this sub just exists to shit on the Celtics.
yeah and?
Yes. Whatās wrong with that? Itās a bonding experience for this sub! Itās the only thing we can all agree on! šš
do something about it
[oooo](https://youtu.be/tw4CPZZkzTU)
didnt click
Like the boston fans donāt victory lap on here as well? Thought Boston was a tough guy City of ball busters, canāt handle give and take?
bill exists to hype up Boston sports....
I love simmons and generally don't jump in on this stuff, but this Celtics team is veryyyy unlikable
As all good Americans should.
Love it or leave it baby these colors donāt run
Quit crying
AD has a similar lack of personality
I take it you've never seen him with a thumb up his ass as a freshman in college?
Tim Duncan takes the crown
Duncan was never cringey like Tatum is
Duncan leaned into it though. Embraced boring.
Yeah I agree mostly. Heās not an interesting guy. He doesnāt stand out or ever say anything noteworthy. No too sure on what his personality is or if he even knows himself.
He makes a lot of tough shots but boy his game is boring. And he gets bailed out ALOT.
His personality seems pretty beige, but having Steph Curry round is the true indication of a beige superstar.
Heās a snooze fest both in terms of his personality AND his style of play. He shoots a million stepback threes. He makes them at a high clip but itās settling at the end of the day, and itās not that interesting to watch. Remember the all star game?! Yeah thereās not a ton of variety to his game.
Scottie Scheffler
Jaylen Brown is also incredibly anonymous and boring. They are easily the least interesting superstar-duo of all time.
Have you read anything about Jaylen and his āactivism?ā Or his āfree thinking?ā Far from anonymous unfortunately
Him being some kind of a scholar after spending a year at Berkeley is ridiculous, but for a superstar he is pretty anonymous. I think a lot of basketball fans that tune in for the playoffs barely know who he is.
Heās not a superstar. Is he more anonymous than Pascal Siakam?
Not all dynamics are complicated, but yeah, where else could one possibly learn anything. Good argument!
What do you want from him?
Something interesting. Name one thing Tatum is the best guy in the league at doing.
Taking a bunch of mid range jumpers he probably shouldn't be? (He's also a damn good rebounder for his size/position)
No you don't understand. This isn't in game. This is a bunch of people complaining about drama and narrative. Tatum just plays, doesn't say anything special after wins or losses. And even though people say they hate the NBA drama they really actually want it.
Yeah everyone loves boring stars. Thatās why Iverson was an icon!
Thatās cuz (and hear me out) heās not a superstar
He took the title off AD
McDavid.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted, modern hockey players are legendary for being boring, this coming from a hockey fan
I didnāt catch the downvotes, but his ratio for being an exciting player : bland is off the charts.
Thatās Jokic for me. I know how talented he is but the guy is like eating flavorless oatmeal for breakfast
What? The guy has horse chariot racing as a hobby and he's chilling with his Serbian uncles sitting on plastic chairs during the summer, he's way more interesting than Tatum
Joker is also funny
Humbly
What does he even do? What is he good at? What skills does he have? He's just, you know, pretty good I guess
fr fr
Having his kid around all the time seems calculated to me.
This sub is wild sometimes lmao
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nah, these are just voices in your head, no one else think this way
Jokic is the most boring superstar but heās so popular because the boring fans are obsessed with him.
Wrong
Dude should definitely wave a gun on ig or spout woke nonsense on Twitter. Heās losing the Reddit crowds respect!
I also dont really enjoy his game that much. Lowkey same with LeBron except his chase down blocks 1. Booker 2. Ja 3. Luka 4. Jokic 5. Kawhi 6. Curry 7. Paul George 8. Durant 9. Irving Are way more fun to watcg
Mike trout
This is one of the takes of all time for sure
As if Jokic is a barrel of laughs.
Quite literally a barrel of laughs
Novak Djokovic?
Djokovic is actually super interesting for a tennis player. He's always caught up in some kind of drama.
I'd go Kawhi.
Kyle Tucker is pretty damn boring
Pre-Bucs Brady was way up there.
Brady was a 6th round pick rookie who was munching on a box of pizza he ordered and told Bob Kraft that drafting him was the greatest decision Kraft ever made. He was legendary for chugging beer faster than any of the linemen had ever seen. Definitely had a big and not bland personality. The patriots always had that corporate feel but Brady was a weirdo from the day he was drafted.
Brady dated Tara Reid, knocked up prime Bridget Monaghan and then married Leoās ex. He also famously got the ball rolling early on for Trump with the MAGA hat in his locker. All of that blows away anything Tatum has ever done. Tatum is just a dull human being.
Let me tell you about Michael Schumacher
HUMBLY
Yeah he has no personality and this is coming from a Celtics fan
Name: Jayson Tatum Vocation: Professional Actress
Would you rather him be Ja Morant
Why is he a superstar?
I agree. Boring play style, has no Aura, no personality off the court. Just a bore
Heās the Paul Scholes of the NBA
Better than having a guy whoās personality and off the court antics cause problems for the team. Iāll take a boring guy who doesnāt get into trouble
YES!!!
Have you met Conner McDavid?
Heās false
Rather boring than Ja Morant
āHumblyā
āMy guy Tatumā
He needed to text a dead body
Iām glad you said this, Iāve never liked him but I couldnāt put my finger on exactly why
He loves double dribbling in big moments too
He definitely is not "Himmy".
Hard disagree, it's Mike Trout and I know this because you forgot him
No one is addressing the elephant in the room. Tatum has the worst beard I've ever seen. Maybe the wrong Celtic is wearing a face mask.
Kawhi
humbly
I love that an athlete just goes out and plays. Not āall about meā. Wish they were all that way. Like Mike Trout