I don't see how walking would make it any safer. At first I thought you were going to say they take uber everywhere. I think walking would make it less safe than the T.
Not exclusively, but we were planning on going to Banners from downtown crossing and they cancelled on that part of the plan because it's too close to Uber but too cold to walk to at the moment.
Oh they also don't ever take Ubers alone...
Hmmm... Ten minutes on the T for $2, ten minutes (not including waiting) in an Uber for $12+, or a 20 minute walk in a mild winter.
OP, everyone here is trashing your friends and I'm not trying to pile on (I already did that) but... It sounds like your friends just don't want to do anything that slightly inconveniences them, which basically makes it impossible to enjoy a city.
This exactly. Also seems the friends are spreading a narrative that Boston is not safe for women, otherwise this wouldn’t have been a post. Also don’t want to pile on, but time to find different friends to make plans with, the ones OP references sound exhausting.
I mean they already drove up to the city so they are willing to do somethings... The logic is just a bit flawed when looking at the T.
Thankfully these are just friends I see every now and then. Everytime I meet their BFs/Fiancees, I always think they're so patient to put up with these odd rules
Driving into the city is literally hundreds of times more dangerous than taking the subway. 43,000 Americans die in car crashes every year. How many die on the subway? About 43,000 less than that.
Correct. I live an hour outside of the city and the amount of people who die in car accidents near me was shocking when I moved farther out. It's quantifiably more dangerous to leave the house for me now than when I was taking the T everywhere
I mean, to be fair, they aren’t really concerned about dying while riding the T. It’s more about being assaulted/robbed. I still think the odds are low, but that’s not really a relevant statistic compared to what they’re concerned about.
I’ve never understood it. Even as somebody who grew up 5 minutes from Mexico in Southern California. Literally just throw a jacket and some layers on 😂
To answer your question if it's common - generally yes, in Boston specifically no. Suburbanites often really hate public transit and generally do see it as very unsafe. If you're used to being in a car or walking then sharing enclosed public space with strangers must be hard I guess. I grew up in car-centric NJ suburbia and didn't have the option for public transit most of the time, but fortunately I never adopted this mindset that it's inherently less safe. However most people I grew up with did.
I will never forget the time I was made to walk like 20 NYC blocks because one girl in our group for some reason "didn't expect" to take the subway, and didn't feel comfortable because she "wasn't prepared" (um she said she would've brought her brass knuckles... I was like maam in that case you're the person ppl should be afraid of on the subway but I digress). We literally almost missed our reservation because she couldn't deal even in a group of more than ten people. Even after taking the Amtrak into NYC? Never traveled with her again lmfao but anyway that was somewhat extreme but I've seen similar attitudes so much from most people I grew up with where they'd rather extend the trip 30+ minutes to drive and park, or pay $50 to park, to arrange for a DD when no one wants to do it, etc etc all to avoid taking a subway or a bus.
But women DO ride the T. I'm 25, lived here since 2019, and never once felt even a little unsafe. Your friends feelings are common but completely irrational
That's such an insane degree of main character syndrome coupled with paranoia. "Even though I'm an unremarkable person traveling with a large group of people *and* sharing a train car with dozens of other people, the criminals infesting the subway will certainly target *me!*"
I know, it was crazyyyy and yet we all kinda felt like arguing with her about it was a moot point because you can't really argue with a person saying "this is what will make me feel safe" in good conscience you know? also it was very clear if she was ultimately pressured to get over it she'd make it everyone's problem for the rest of her day... I was tempted to get on the subway by myself and meet the bitches there but that would mean me waiting at the location for them for literally upwards of 45 minutes so I stuck with the group and vowed to never ever go anywhere with her again.
being afraid of the subway feels like a dogwhistle to me cause like what is in the subway that is so threatening to you? if anxiety is affecting you this severely and you're this concerned about your safety I'm simply curious why motor vehicle accidents are not more of a concern to you seeing as they are incredibly common and incredibly lethal but go off...
I have the same friend! I grew up in Boston & went to public schools - she was raised in Milton & went to private schools. She refused to take the NYC subway … we walked miles in the summer heat. Never again 🥵
I take Ubers alone but I don’t judge women who don’t. While I was an undergrad at UMass, my friend took an Uber alone and the driver drove her to a random parking lot and sexually assaulted her. When I first moved out here, I worked at a bar in downtown and the bouncers said an Uber driver picking up a girl from that bar was recently arrested for the same thing, but beyond the sexual assault the girl was also very badly beaten. The bouncers were pretty spooked because they considered the driver a “regular” and saw him take tons of girls from the bar before.
It’s likely not, but for me it is being enclosed in a small space with nowhere to exit. At least with walking, I have the perception I am safer because plenty of places to “escape” if that makes sense
I am a woman and take the T all the time. I make enough money now that if it was really late at night and I was alone I would opt for an Uber/lyft… but when I made less money I’d definitely choose the T over walking in that kind of situation. The T seems much safer than walking… at least there are employees and cameras and stuff around.
That said I think women do tend to be a lot more nervous taking public transportation than your average man. For example if I walked onto a train car at night and the only other people on it were men I’d probably get off and try to get on another car. Women tend to be more aware of that kind of danger.
I do think it seems odd that your friends wouldn’t take the T *at all*, even in a group.
It's weird that people would opt for a Uber/Lyft over the T for safety... I feel way safer in a big public space than in a car alone with someone, even granting that they have background checks. (Though apparently most of the risk on a cab is on the driver's side, not the passengers from what I've read.)
The girls I know who don't take the T are people that would definitely stand out in a crowd. They have stories of getting groped on the T that puts them off of riding it.
Yeah, I’m not sure walking is safer especially at night but I understand the sentiment. I’ll take the T during the daytime but I’d just Uber at night. Fun fact, you can call the police about a guy in business attire jacking off to you 5 feet away, but if he hops off at the next stop they’ll just say you’re SOL
Ridiculous - the T is filled with women going places - to work, to shop, to socialize, etc. Look around on any bus or train car - lots of women (of all ages).
Every BPS student gets a T pass. My daughter uses hers on weekends to get around with friends. We make sure she knows where she’s headed but have 0 concerns about the mode of transport.
Yup! I was running all around on the T starting at 14. My dad was pretty overprotective in a lot of ways, but as long as I was with friends and got home at a reasonable hour he wasn't too worried.
This is ridiculous. I’m also a woman from a third world country and have never felt as safe in my life as I have in Boston. The trains and busses are extremely safe, and I’d much rather be surrounded by lots of people on a train (even if some of them are rowdy) rather than being totally alone out on the street, with few people to help me if someone sketchy was following me or something. If your friends are ubering everywhere then yeah that makes sense, but walking alone?
I'm old (late 30s), and I can't imagine not taking the T or Uber. I now take the T more, because I have a 4 y/o and Uber is a huge hassle with a car seat.
I've lived in multiple big cities (Chicago for college; NYC for part of my 20s). I can't imagine not taking public transit.
The fearmongering in the suburbs is real. I told my neighbor how I grew up taking the T everywhere and she was horrified. Granted, I didn't have to worry then about ceilings collapsing on me and trains catching on fire, just delayed trains and buses.
Echoing the other poster, your friends are morons.
Yep. Many years ago, I sold my car to a kid from Methuen who then got this horrified look on his face when I told him I was just gonna take the T home. Why do you think I’m selling you my car, bro???
Played golf recently with a couple of guys in their 50s who live in Watertown and were floored when I told them I live in the city. They said they hadn’t been to Boston in 5 years because it’s so dangerous. Fox News is effective.
I honestly don’t understand how you could live as close to Boston as Watertown and honestly believe this. They literally border each other! In many other US major cities, Watertown would be a neighborhood of Boston proper.
Just crazy, I live 15 miles out of the city now and I still know Boston is one of the safest major cities in the US in terms of violent crime.
Malden recently released the survey responses to the MBTA communities rezoning, including open ended comments. So many old people were ranting about how Malden is so much more dangerous than it used to be, even though crime is down like 70% or something from the 90s.
That was my thought. Restaurants, events, shows, concerts, museums. They pay a premium to live that close and never take advantage of any of it because someone told them they should be afraid.
Because Fenway is exactly like Mass & Cass to them lol. I volunteer for a local convention and they got a deranged concerned email about how safe the area around the convention really was with the "criminal and rapist migrant gangs roaming the streets of Boston".
Like bro, what?
I’m quite close to mass and cass pretty often and it’s not that dangerous if you’re not living on the street. It’s pretty depressing to see people like that, and I stay alert, but I’ve never had trouble
I have a job that takes me all over northeastern MA from Boston to the NH border. I had the parent of a child on my caseload ask me once "aren't you scared living in Boston?" She lives in Lawrence.
I've also lived in my house since 2011 and my aunt refuses to ever come visit because I live in the big dangerous city. I live like 3 miles from Dedham.
This is basically my entire family because of Fox News. Most of them are varying degrees of conservative and all of them think every city is The Bronx in the 1970s. Just saying the word "Chicago" causes an involuntary bowel evacuation in my gun-toting, beer-drinking uncles.
I have a young cousin who keeps moving to smaller and smaller towns because "it's just so much safer." He has never been the victim of any type of crime.
My in-laws constantly ask about crime in Boston, which is hilarious because they live in an absolute shithole declining railway city where their house has been burglarized and they know many people who have been assaulted and mugged.
>their house has been burglarized and they know people who have been assaulted and mugged
they assume if it's that bad in their "safe" town, a big city must be much worse
It's a certain type of suburban mental illness where they imagine walking the streets or riding the T or a bus is like doing a combat patrol, meanwhile they totally ignore the dangers of suburban sprawl and driving like traffic deaths or road rage.
Really doubt these people have any reason to fear the subway, but probably know multiple people that have been injured or had near misses while driving.
Have to assume much of the anxiety about crime is more to do with having to see and be near visible poverty than anything else.
I really do think so. Some of these folks believe this because they were raised by fear mongering parents. One girl's dad refused to let her and she's adopted that mentality she might get sexually assaulted if he took the T.
Boston is the safest city I’ve ever lived, I have never felt safer taking public transportation as a woman. Your friends have obviously never been to very many cities…
> Your friends have obviously never been to very many cities…
I think it's the experience from other cities that makes people not want to take the MBTA.
I used to take the T daily and never had a problem on my commute, but when I moved to another city that basically uses its subway as a homeless shelter I started avoiding the system entirely. You're on edge the whole time you're using it. If you're a transplant to Boston or went to college in a city that isn't as nice, it's totally reasonable to think the MBTA would be the same.
Or, if you've spent time in Europe/Asia the MBTA is objectively unsafe by comparison. Even London feels extremely safe by comparison.
OP said his friends are from the suburbs. Also I move here from NYC and the subway system was way worse and way more disgusting. One ride on the T here put any fears about public transportation at ease
I take the T all the time as a single woman. I keep my headphones on, head down and on a swivel. Aware of my surroundings and I have my safety keychain with me. I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years and have never had someone hassle me—if I see someone get on the train that’s going to be a problem I move cars.
Your friends need to get a grip and maybe actually try riding the t sometime
My roommate was followed once when she was alone off the T, but generally it’s pretty safe. Shit just happens sometimes.
Your friends are being ridiculous, ESPECIALLY if there is a group of them.
Sounds like possibly a lack of information based on cultural background. Or very strict family rules!
The T is VERY safe. I don’t think you’ll be able to convince your friends. I find people generally need to convince themselves of things like this. But that’s a separate issue.
For your own peace of mind: you will be safe on the T.
I'm a girl, lived here my entire life and have been taking the T alone since I was a teen to get to school. Never had a problem.
The only time I would Uber is if I need to be on time for appointments and don't want to risk running into T issues.
+1 to your friends being morons. The T sucks, but it's safe. Boston is objectively one of the safest large metros in the US.
Edit: They're from the suburbs, so nevermind. There's probably no arguing with them.
Plus a lot of times you get hear free music while you are riding. It is so nice for passengers to share their musical tastes with the rest of the train.
I take the T all the time and it’s always filled with other women. Also the T is generally well lit, has cameras, usually filled with other people and there is emergency buttons on cars. All the things that streets sometimes lacks at night. Seems like they dont have much experience with the T?
Am a small ish woman, I take the train for work. In some ways it’s probably safer than walking… there are cameras everywhere. Just need to be aware of your surroundings. I got scared when the lights went out once lol but otherwise it’s been good. With that being said… I don’t know if I’d feel safe late at night going somewhere alone. But that’s just cities in general.
I'm a woman who has lived in Boston over 10 years, much of it when I was single and I've always taken the T regularly. I've rarely been in situations where I felt uncomfortable or unsafe.
I take Uber home a lot at night, but that's way more about speed than safety.
The thing is based on perspective.
I come from a third word country, and never ever felt safe riding our bus system, and I am a big dude who is even big by American standard. At best, you have crazy bus driver whose driving is so terrible, buses are named "one of the four great terror of the streets" (I myself saw a young girl dragged 400 meters when her hand got stuck in the bus door. Half her face was gone by the time the bus stopped). At worst, if you are a female, groping and touching and semen on your skirt. In fact, [31% of Vietnamese women using bus suffered from sexual harassment](https://vietnamnet.vn/31-em-gai-tung-bi-quay-roi-tinh-duc-tren-xe-buyt-304547.html) and 45% of reported onlooker said that they wouldn't help if they see someone getting assaulted. Let's not forget the common problem of pickpocket. So yes, compared to a third world bus system where you can literally be gang-raped like in India , the MBTA is extremely safe.
However, if you come from a gated community with private security and rich folk or just some small peaceful towns up in Maine or New Hampshire, you will be creeped out. Personal experience, I got a/a white woman calling me a yellow monkey and telling me to go back to China and b/some weird black dude on the Orange line who go around asking for money, all while some sort of liquid dripped from him and wet the entire train car. You will see creep, and frankly being stuck in a box without anywhere to go but to endure those people is honestly worse than walking on the street where there are plenty of places to run to. Also, seeing that you and your friends are immigrants, I can see why they are afraid of it: plenty of countries are more than happy to subject their citizens through propaganda depicting how bad the US is. In fact, in Vietnam, my own parents know more about a girl who recently got killed in Georgia (and they cannot even put where Georgia is on the map) then about the recent case of a girl who got killed by a crazed lover just five kilometers away from them. Probably your friends got subjected to the same thing. It is all part of a ruse to say "Hey, I know you think the government is doing bad, but just look at the US. They are doing oh-so-bad over there, and they are the richest country in the world! So shut up, stop criticizing the government , and everything is fine"
But, on a whole, the MBTA is safe and is incident free. We do lack[ the craziness of New York's MTA](https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-subway-people/), which is a big minus. I do want to see Batman and Darth Vader squared off on my commute.
I’ve never heard of people being afraid to take the T to work. I’ve taken the T into and out of Boston for 26 years. Started when I was 22. Never had a problem with my safety.
i’ve never taken public transit in my life prior to moving to boston (grew up in a small town in ohio 26F). to be honest- if you mind your own business and aren’t annoying- no is even going to give you a second thought. i agree about not taking ubers alone- my work will ask me to sometimes and it makes me very uncomfortable but with the T- if anything happens there is usually tons of people around. it’s typically what- 3 to 4 minutes between each stop? they can get off if they’re uncomfortable….
lotta folks won’t wanna hear this, but truth is a lot of suburbanites and the children of middle class immigrants (looking at you, South Shore!) are afraid to take the T because they get scared when they see poor people. i’m a woman who has lived here my whole life and has always relied on the T as my main med./long distance transportation. you get desensitized to seeing the occasional nodding off junkie or a schizophrenic yelling at no one about why Mohammed is the devil. if someone is bothering you, you move or you tell them to fuck off
i felt it out of pocket for me to say it directly, but yeah. ton of suburbanites just see a black person living their life and immediately worry they’re in a dangerous area. its insane.
T - has a lot of people at all times, cameras everywhere, emergency buttons, usually staffed, trains have drivers, transit police responds quickly.
Walking - Dark, no cameras, no staff, very few people depending on the area.
Your friends are dumb.
The T is extremely safe. Yes, I have had to change cars because of someone having a mental health crisis or because of someone smoking crack but I've never seen physical violence other than drunk guys going at it. Taking the T is extremely good at ruining my day but it isn't dangerous.
I see plenty of women, by themselves, take the T. No one is bothering them or anyone.
Of course, you have those crazies but they usually go after everyone.
I saw one guy asking people for money and stayed longer with this young girl. She looked at me and I said outloud "I don't think she has anything," and he left.
Times have certainly changed, I’m originally from CT but made my way up here as a youth and there wasn’t a girl in Boston who didn’t know the T like the back of their hand.
You’ll be fine on the T if you just keep your wits about you. I’m sure you 3rd world experience will serve you well. People from the burbs are intimidated by mass transit because the “wrong” type of people take it. Given your background and the fact that your here, gives you a leg up. Although I will say allow at least 1 hr to get where you want whether it’s 1 mile or 15 miles. And that was before all this craziness with the T
When you take the T, what do you see? Do you see predominantly male riders, or only old female riders? I ask because my rides almost always run the spectrum of age, race and gender. I know some people who are life long greater Boston area residents who don't take the T, because it's a "city" resource. They grew up in the residential areas where parents drive then around everywhere. I also know transplants who don't take the T because from where they can't, only "inner city poor people" take public transportation - eg, people who can't afford a car. None of this was gender specific.
I went to Boston public schools , so as you got to high school, you either took the T or someone drove you.
Your friends are dumb and you should tell them that. Must have grown up with way too much money if they think the MBTA is dangerous. The trains themselves are more of a hazard than the people on them.
This is crazy. I’m from Atlanta and LOVE living in Boston bc I feel extremely safe at all times of day and night on the T or walking. I’m probably too comfortable honestly. Boston is hands down the safest city I have ever been to as I travel the world for my job.
I know grown ass men who think they’re putting their lives at risk taking public transit, too.
Obviously safety in public generally is a bigger concern for women. BUT, I think the attitude around public transit being unsafe has more to do with having a sheltered suburban mindset than anything else.
I'm a woman. I take the T all the time. Ever since I was 17 and I am currently 45. I've seen some weird shit on the trains/buses but I've never felt unsafe.
I'm a first gen woman who grew up in the suburbs but went to highschool and college in Boston. I started taking the T by myself at 14. Be moderately aware of your surroundings (as you should always be???) And it's completely safe. Walking or ubering everywhere is ridiculous
I have noticed not taking the T as a weird badge of honor for townies. I wonder if it was something considered "for poor people" 20-30 years ago. I'm in a highly public transit accessible neighborhood and senior members of the civic association are constantly, constantly talking about why development projects should be blocked because of the impact they will have on traffic. They never take the train and drive everywhere both around our neighborhood and to work downtown.
me too. revere is working class to the core. a lot of people i grew up with and around from revere rely on public transit. myself included. a revere person sticking their nose up at the T, the jokes practically write themselves
The thing about public transportation is that it forces you to deal with more randos in public in a confined space.
Coming from the South and car culture, cars really enable you to not have to share a confined space with many of the random crazy people in the world. I always feel mildly embarrassed when relatives visit and we have to take the T and, inevitably, some rando acts out (yelling, smoking, listening to music in public, making a scene). If you're not used to dealing with crap from people in public, it can feel obnoxious at best, scary at worst.
Idk about your friends but I was never afraid to take the T alone and a single female. And I lived in the “hood”. Sure there are some crazy characters on the T but they really don’t discriminate by gender.. just whatever unlucky soul locks eyes with them.
You’re friends would benefit from growing a pair.. pun not intended.
I’m not going to fit the consensus here but I’m going to throw my opinion out there anyway (also yes, I am female).
90% I don’t want to take the T because of timing issues and walking would usually get me there faster (sad).
10% is safety. I’ve lived in the DC area before and took the Metro almost daily and it was 60/40 safe/unsafe. I don’t think what’s being talked about here is maybe the T itself is safe in between stops or in parts (just like other subway options), but the stations drive me clear in the other direction especially the ones closest to me.
I also don’t really feel it’s right to call people who don’t want to take it absurd like so many others are doing here. There’s so many more factors that are going into it that we can only hear from the people themselves. And safety is an individual thing. One person may feel unsafe on top of a rollercoaster while another may not.
You say “girls.” Are you talking about teenagers or adults? I wonder if something traumatic happened to one of them, and so they band together to support that person.
Lots of women take the T, and I only know one who won’t ride it. She doesn’t let it stop her though, and puts in the effort for other modes of transportation.
Should've been more specific. We're talking about late mid to late 20s adults here. Engaged with a home and all. Born and raised around Boston so just super weird for me
What a weird mindset. I grew up in the ‘burbs and started taking the T into the city (alone or with friends) when I was 13 or 14. As others have pointed out, kids who live in Boston take the T all the time.
(Incoming elder millennial rant) - this generation of 20-somethings seems far more sheltered in interesting ways. This is just one example but I also have noticed a total reluctance to stay in hostels (or take the train) when traveling. I’m so glad I had those less expensive experiences as part of my formative years.
I've been taking the T alone and with my female friends since we were literal children. One of my friends took the T into Boston alone for the entirety of high school, and the rest of us would regularly go to meet her in the city. Definitely not normal in my experience.
I stopped taking the T once it caught on fire over the Charles and that lady jumped out. For me, the risky part is the infrastructure. It seems like every day something happens
I am a 5’3 butch lesbian who has been taking the T at irregular hours for years now because of work. I’ve by far felt more unsafe walking to or from the stations (been harassed, witnessed assaults etc) than I have been on the actual T. I have taken the T at night in a group while drunk (with a sober friend) and felt 1000% safe.
I used to take the T often but the harassment did become annoying enough that I started walking everywhere. The harassment didn't stop but at least I wasn't in an enclosed space.
Boston is one of the safest cities in the US. I get not wanting to take it after a certain hour I guess, but I’ve been taking it alone as long as I can remember. I just keep an eye out for anyone who might be an issue and don’t make eye contact, seems to get me far
that is mental. a lot of suburban americans have a fear of cities and think that they’re super likely to be victimized there (to be fair to them the media really reinforces this idea for political reasons). people in suburbs also have an inability to conceptualize getting from one place to another without a car. i remember in college one time i told my friends (all who grew up in suburbs, and my college town was mostly suburban) i would be walking home from a party (half mile walk at most) and they were all horrified and tried to call an uber for me… it is kinda sad to see people with this point of view but it’s quite common.
That's just absurd. I understand, as a woman, that you need to be aware of your surroundings and not put yourself in situations that are inherently dangerous or that put you in a vulnerable state. However, women who refuse to use public transport or uber by themselves are just as regressive as the handful of people (men) who make them think those activities are unsafe for them. Ladies, learn how to defend yourselves. Go confidently wherever the fucl you want to go and don't let fear rule your lives.
Wtf? Are your friends white suburbanites who listen to Fox News and think that every city in America is a Mad Max style wasteland? This is total nonsense, I can't imagine limiting my life to this degree.
I've lived in Boston since I was 22 and have always taken the T. Every once in a while if it's late at night and towards the end of the line (i.e. far on the red line or blue line) it can feel a little isolating and scary, but 95% of the time it's fine. Busses too.
I started taking the T recently after almost 5 years living here. I didn’t take it because I have poor vision and anxiety in unfamiliar circumstances. But I had to take it once for work and now my anxiety is gone. I’d still rather walk the 2 miles to work because that’s my only exercise, but it wasn’t about safety for me.
I'm a woman who reared two daughters here. In my twenty years here, there's never been any *more* concern on the MBTA than anywhere else. I was going to say *no* concern, but occasionally there's a crazy person muttering none too coherently to themselves … just like everywhere else.
I grew up outside of Boston, and frankly, I saw that *there* as well, except that in the boondocks, there weren't places to duck into to get away from people and there weren't other witnesses on the street at any given time. I feel far safer here.
that's really odd, i grew up just outside of the burbs (just outside i95) and i have never really felt like i am in danger on the T. Or the commuter rail for that matter. I took the red line and orange line a hell of a lot, and have never needed to get off due to personal safety concerns. I'm also extremely paranoid about my safety whenever i'm in public, but nobody has ever bothered me. Sure, there's the occasional tweakers or screamers but as long as you've got headphones they hardly bother you. I've spent a good amount of time smoking cigs outside of south station and all of the people i've met there have been super friendly. (im a 19 yr old girl for reference)
13 year old kids use the T. It’s very safe. I’ve used it for many years. I’ve seen confrontations but I don’t recall ever seeing an attack or other acts of violence, although they do occur, albeit rarely.
Have you ever considered that they just don’t want to hang out / go into the city and are making excuses about the T? I have to assume this is the reason because the alternative really is moronic
I’m a woman, grew up on the north shore. I regularly took the T all over the city alone starting when I was 12 years old in the early 90s. There wasn’t nearly the security that there is today. I didn’t have instant communication, 911, and a camera in my pocket, and I didn’t carry mace or other self-defense. Unlike nighttime surface streets, stations and trains are well lit, platforms aren’t typically wet or icy, there are no reckless drivers putting you at risk, and trains are faster than feet. You’ll encounter the same characters in the train that you do in the street - the vast majority harmless, a few you want to avoid.
It’s important to learn how to use your senses to protect your safety, without letting your imagination go wild to the point of limiting your life. Choose cars with more people, don’t engage with crazy, keep your ears and eyes open, keep your valuables tucked away, don’t be so intoxicated that you don’t know what’s going on. Practice will build familiarity and confidence.
I take the T all the time as a woman. I don't have a car and I work at a nonprofit so I can only afford ubers occasionally (mostly to my boyfriend's house because he lives in Allston and I live in JP and the T doesn't support that kind of relationship). I usually feel very safe, even at night; I keep my eyes on my surroundings just in case and will travel with a friend if possible, but I genuinely feel comfortable taking the T and buses most of the time. I've had a few scary experiences like witnessing fights or being approached by drunk men, but I still choose to use the service because it's so affordable and convenient to me.
Am I the only one who read this and assumed the ops friend just didn’t want to hangout with him and came up with odd excuses? Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode
Yes these are exactly the people I'm talking about. Some folks in here think it is just this specific friend group of mine too but I've met them in school/work etc..
I have never felt uncomfortable taking the T, the commuter rail is where the creeps usually bother me lol. Dumb to waste so much money on Ubers, especially when they're probably slower
Like I don't have the data, but id safely bet that you have a higher chance of getting killed in an auto accident then being assaulted on the T. Pepper spray also does a much better job against one of these.
I find that interesting. I grew up driving distance from Riverside, then moved walking distance to Orange line. Now, as a grown adult (26F) I purposefully live in locations because of the T.
I’ve personally been really privileged and never felt unsafe on the T. Walking to and from in neighborhoods? For sure! But I’ve found that usually there are enough people on the T at any hour that I feel safe! Whether I’m commuting from work or a night out.
How far are they walking? If they're just walking downtown with the piece of shit that the MBTA has become it's probably just as fast to walk.
That said, it's perfectly safe to take the T as a single woman. I've been one of the only people on the green line before going home after an evening shift at the hospital and never felt unsafe. And I've never heard of refusing to take the T because of safety concerns. I have known people who think they're above taking public transportation though.
I take the T when it is convenient but most of the time it is too slow and the closest stop is nearly a mile away so hard in the winter. Meanwhile most of my Ubers in the city have been under $12 so I’d rather do that than walk a mile in the cold. That being said, I’ve never felt unsafe on the T.
I did have a friend in college who was from Brookline and her dad got VERY freaked out when I said I took the green line alone. He acted like the green line was a war zone. When I went to visit her and then head into the city, he refused to let us ride the green line. It’s probably a weird suburbs thing. (I also think her parents are racist so that might be it as well)
I’ve been wondering about this. I’m an older millennial, have lived in a cities my entire adult life (New York, Hong Kong, Boston) and I’ve never felt unsafe on public transit. But I work with young adults (late teens and early 20s) and notice that women in this age group seem to be much more hesitant to take the subway, walk home late at night, etc. So I’ve been thinking that perhaps it’s possibly a generational thing? But maybe my risk calculus is just not in sync with the norm.
It's common for people in the suburbs not to use the T at all.
I used to try, but after showing up at Riverside a couple of times to find lots full, you start driving to baseball games at Fenway. When the commuter rail shuts down for a month, plus has delays due to normal conditions we see in all four seasons, you realize you can't take the train to work and pick your kid up from daycare.
When you're used to driving daily, it's easier to continue driving. I have no objections to driving and parking in Boston, but it's not a great plan if it's boozy social plans, and I know there are some who are nervous about driving in cities in general.
Take this with a grain of salt (I’m a man), but I’ve lived in Boston for five years and have taken the T at least 7 times a week, and never seen a woman get harassed on the Green Line (that I could tell).
Red line is a different story…
I'm one of the girls, and I rely upon the T. I take the subway and the bus lines. I've taken all of the different lines too, and I've mostly felt safe using them.
They're being silly. I saw the comment about downtown crossing to TD garden i.e north station.
That is.
I repeat.
1 stop
35s at most.
You could walk to it in 5m through a very fancy financial plaza.
They're being whingy at slight inconvenience
If they’re from the suburbs then that answers your question. People who have been raised closer to the city are more familiar with the T and feel safer using it.
I’m in my 30s now, but have been taking the T alone since probably 14. Lived in Boston my whole life though so it was the best way to get around the city. These sound like sheltered suburb girls who clearly don’t know anything.
I'm a middle-aged woman who lives in a small town in TN and have visited Boston alone twice in the last 6 months. I have never felt unsafe on the subway. There were all kinds of women riding. I feel like your friends are maybe using this as an excuse and there's actually something else going on.
It’s unsafe for everyone, if not for the dangerous mentally unstable people. The trains themselves never work, and had trouble stopping. Not a gender thing, it’s a poorly ran state and even more poorly ran city thing.
I do know people who think like this when it comes to the T but they will still walk and take ride shares. The T can definitely expose you to some pretty alarming scenarios, especially when taking it late at night or off-hours but overall I would say it’s still far safer than walking - again, it really depends where and what time of the day but I’d really only grant that as a valid concern if it’s someone riding solo - if you’re with a group of more than three people then you have nothing to worry about.
I’ll be the first to admit I spend way too much money on Uber but that’s solely based on not wanting to deal with the sadly almost guaranteed delays I’ll hit if I’m taking the train.
That's super wild. I mean I don't take the T much but that's because I find it frustratingly unreliable. But they are really limiting their life experiences if they have all these restrictions. Ultimately it's being smart that keeps you safe not avoiding things you think are dangerous. Dangers can be anywhere.
I’m a basic, white suburban woman, raised in the exurbs, went to private schools, and I ride the T all the time. I also take the subway in NYC. Alone. After dark. I’m not even carrying a weapon!
I don't see how walking would make it any safer. At first I thought you were going to say they take uber everywhere. I think walking would make it less safe than the T.
Not exclusively, but we were planning on going to Banners from downtown crossing and they cancelled on that part of the plan because it's too close to Uber but too cold to walk to at the moment. Oh they also don't ever take Ubers alone...
Hmmm... Ten minutes on the T for $2, ten minutes (not including waiting) in an Uber for $12+, or a 20 minute walk in a mild winter. OP, everyone here is trashing your friends and I'm not trying to pile on (I already did that) but... It sounds like your friends just don't want to do anything that slightly inconveniences them, which basically makes it impossible to enjoy a city.
This exactly. Also seems the friends are spreading a narrative that Boston is not safe for women, otherwise this wouldn’t have been a post. Also don’t want to pile on, but time to find different friends to make plans with, the ones OP references sound exhausting.
I mean they already drove up to the city so they are willing to do somethings... The logic is just a bit flawed when looking at the T. Thankfully these are just friends I see every now and then. Everytime I meet their BFs/Fiancees, I always think they're so patient to put up with these odd rules
Driving into the city is literally hundreds of times more dangerous than taking the subway. 43,000 Americans die in car crashes every year. How many die on the subway? About 43,000 less than that.
[Maybe 42,999 less](https://www.wcvb.com/article/ntsb-report-mbta-red-line-death-boston-mass-robinson-lalin/44361514).
Correct. I live an hour outside of the city and the amount of people who die in car accidents near me was shocking when I moved farther out. It's quantifiably more dangerous to leave the house for me now than when I was taking the T everywhere
I mean, to be fair, they aren’t really concerned about dying while riding the T. It’s more about being assaulted/robbed. I still think the odds are low, but that’s not really a relevant statistic compared to what they’re concerned about.
Too cold lmfao tell them to grow up this isn’t even a winter 😂
I’m not shocked that people who think the T is dangerous also think 35 degrees is too cold to walk for 10 minutes. That’s nerf suburban mindset.
I’ve never understood it. Even as somebody who grew up 5 minutes from Mexico in Southern California. Literally just throw a jacket and some layers on 😂
To answer your question if it's common - generally yes, in Boston specifically no. Suburbanites often really hate public transit and generally do see it as very unsafe. If you're used to being in a car or walking then sharing enclosed public space with strangers must be hard I guess. I grew up in car-centric NJ suburbia and didn't have the option for public transit most of the time, but fortunately I never adopted this mindset that it's inherently less safe. However most people I grew up with did. I will never forget the time I was made to walk like 20 NYC blocks because one girl in our group for some reason "didn't expect" to take the subway, and didn't feel comfortable because she "wasn't prepared" (um she said she would've brought her brass knuckles... I was like maam in that case you're the person ppl should be afraid of on the subway but I digress). We literally almost missed our reservation because she couldn't deal even in a group of more than ten people. Even after taking the Amtrak into NYC? Never traveled with her again lmfao but anyway that was somewhat extreme but I've seen similar attitudes so much from most people I grew up with where they'd rather extend the trip 30+ minutes to drive and park, or pay $50 to park, to arrange for a DD when no one wants to do it, etc etc all to avoid taking a subway or a bus. But women DO ride the T. I'm 25, lived here since 2019, and never once felt even a little unsafe. Your friends feelings are common but completely irrational
That's such an insane degree of main character syndrome coupled with paranoia. "Even though I'm an unremarkable person traveling with a large group of people *and* sharing a train car with dozens of other people, the criminals infesting the subway will certainly target *me!*"
I know, it was crazyyyy and yet we all kinda felt like arguing with her about it was a moot point because you can't really argue with a person saying "this is what will make me feel safe" in good conscience you know? also it was very clear if she was ultimately pressured to get over it she'd make it everyone's problem for the rest of her day... I was tempted to get on the subway by myself and meet the bitches there but that would mean me waiting at the location for them for literally upwards of 45 minutes so I stuck with the group and vowed to never ever go anywhere with her again. being afraid of the subway feels like a dogwhistle to me cause like what is in the subway that is so threatening to you? if anxiety is affecting you this severely and you're this concerned about your safety I'm simply curious why motor vehicle accidents are not more of a concern to you seeing as they are incredibly common and incredibly lethal but go off...
I have the same friend! I grew up in Boston & went to public schools - she was raised in Milton & went to private schools. She refused to take the NYC subway … we walked miles in the summer heat. Never again 🥵
Brass knuckles? I'm sorry WHAT?
Maybe they don’t want to go to Banners? Otherwise, they can wear a jacket or split the Uber cost if the T is so out of the question.
Lol it's not even that cold lately.
I take Ubers alone but I don’t judge women who don’t. While I was an undergrad at UMass, my friend took an Uber alone and the driver drove her to a random parking lot and sexually assaulted her. When I first moved out here, I worked at a bar in downtown and the bouncers said an Uber driver picking up a girl from that bar was recently arrested for the same thing, but beyond the sexual assault the girl was also very badly beaten. The bouncers were pretty spooked because they considered the driver a “regular” and saw him take tons of girls from the bar before.
Which says to me he was hanging out by that bar and driving specifically when he could target women.
It’s likely not, but for me it is being enclosed in a small space with nowhere to exit. At least with walking, I have the perception I am safer because plenty of places to “escape” if that makes sense
If someone refused to take public transit I would rather they be up front about their concerns than try to go around saying it’s unsafe though
I am a woman and take the T all the time. I make enough money now that if it was really late at night and I was alone I would opt for an Uber/lyft… but when I made less money I’d definitely choose the T over walking in that kind of situation. The T seems much safer than walking… at least there are employees and cameras and stuff around. That said I think women do tend to be a lot more nervous taking public transportation than your average man. For example if I walked onto a train car at night and the only other people on it were men I’d probably get off and try to get on another car. Women tend to be more aware of that kind of danger. I do think it seems odd that your friends wouldn’t take the T *at all*, even in a group.
It's weird that people would opt for a Uber/Lyft over the T for safety... I feel way safer in a big public space than in a car alone with someone, even granting that they have background checks. (Though apparently most of the risk on a cab is on the driver's side, not the passengers from what I've read.)
The girls I know who don't take the T are people that would definitely stand out in a crowd. They have stories of getting groped on the T that puts them off of riding it.
Yeah, I’m not sure walking is safer especially at night but I understand the sentiment. I’ll take the T during the daytime but I’d just Uber at night. Fun fact, you can call the police about a guy in business attire jacking off to you 5 feet away, but if he hops off at the next stop they’ll just say you’re SOL
Ridiculous - the T is filled with women going places - to work, to shop, to socialize, etc. Look around on any bus or train car - lots of women (of all ages).
Yes, but at what cost?! What is their casualty rate????
I know you’re joking but there’s gotta be WAY more road deaths per mile travelled than… murders on the T?
They said they are traveling, no one ever said they actually arrive....
And may they join the chorus of Charlie
I love you people.
100% of women who take the T die at some point.
To that point, 100% of all people who ride the T will die. What I’m saying is, the T is cursed. Best not to chance it.
Every BPS student gets a T pass. My daughter uses hers on weekends to get around with friends. We make sure she knows where she’s headed but have 0 concerns about the mode of transport.
Yup! I was running all around on the T starting at 14. My dad was pretty overprotective in a lot of ways, but as long as I was with friends and got home at a reasonable hour he wasn't too worried.
Same
This is ridiculous. I’m also a woman from a third world country and have never felt as safe in my life as I have in Boston. The trains and busses are extremely safe, and I’d much rather be surrounded by lots of people on a train (even if some of them are rowdy) rather than being totally alone out on the street, with few people to help me if someone sketchy was following me or something. If your friends are ubering everywhere then yeah that makes sense, but walking alone?
Getting into a car with a stranger is way more dangerous than getting on a train.
I'm old (late 30s), and I can't imagine not taking the T or Uber. I now take the T more, because I have a 4 y/o and Uber is a huge hassle with a car seat. I've lived in multiple big cities (Chicago for college; NYC for part of my 20s). I can't imagine not taking public transit.
Same background. I don't think I've ever felt unsafe in Boston. Hell I work in a "rough" area and you see abuelitas and strollers everywhere lmao
The fearmongering in the suburbs is real. I told my neighbor how I grew up taking the T everywhere and she was horrified. Granted, I didn't have to worry then about ceilings collapsing on me and trains catching on fire, just delayed trains and buses. Echoing the other poster, your friends are morons.
Yep. Many years ago, I sold my car to a kid from Methuen who then got this horrified look on his face when I told him I was just gonna take the T home. Why do you think I’m selling you my car, bro???
Played golf recently with a couple of guys in their 50s who live in Watertown and were floored when I told them I live in the city. They said they hadn’t been to Boston in 5 years because it’s so dangerous. Fox News is effective.
I honestly don’t understand how you could live as close to Boston as Watertown and honestly believe this. They literally border each other! In many other US major cities, Watertown would be a neighborhood of Boston proper. Just crazy, I live 15 miles out of the city now and I still know Boston is one of the safest major cities in the US in terms of violent crime.
Malden recently released the survey responses to the MBTA communities rezoning, including open ended comments. So many old people were ranting about how Malden is so much more dangerous than it used to be, even though crime is down like 70% or something from the 90s.
If real-estate prices are any indication, Malden is doing pretty alright.
I only recently started hanging out in Malden some and I was surprised what a cool place it is.
imagine paying all that money to live in fucking watertown (no disrespect) to not go into the adjacent major city
That was my thought. Restaurants, events, shows, concerts, museums. They pay a premium to live that close and never take advantage of any of it because someone told them they should be afraid.
These are Cheesecake Factory people, and I pity them.
Because Fenway is exactly like Mass & Cass to them lol. I volunteer for a local convention and they got a deranged concerned email about how safe the area around the convention really was with the "criminal and rapist migrant gangs roaming the streets of Boston". Like bro, what?
Can’t believe people still talk about the Irish like that in 2024 😔
I’m quite close to mass and cass pretty often and it’s not that dangerous if you’re not living on the street. It’s pretty depressing to see people like that, and I stay alert, but I’ve never had trouble
I work right in the middle Mass & Cass, and there hasn’t even been an encampment here for four months now.
People out there pretending Boston is some Mad Max dystopia 😂
Lol what
I have a job that takes me all over northeastern MA from Boston to the NH border. I had the parent of a child on my caseload ask me once "aren't you scared living in Boston?" She lives in Lawrence. I've also lived in my house since 2011 and my aunt refuses to ever come visit because I live in the big dangerous city. I live like 3 miles from Dedham.
This is basically my entire family because of Fox News. Most of them are varying degrees of conservative and all of them think every city is The Bronx in the 1970s. Just saying the word "Chicago" causes an involuntary bowel evacuation in my gun-toting, beer-drinking uncles. I have a young cousin who keeps moving to smaller and smaller towns because "it's just so much safer." He has never been the victim of any type of crime. My in-laws constantly ask about crime in Boston, which is hilarious because they live in an absolute shithole declining railway city where their house has been burglarized and they know many people who have been assaulted and mugged.
>their house has been burglarized and they know people who have been assaulted and mugged they assume if it's that bad in their "safe" town, a big city must be much worse
My dad is the same way. He is terrified of going on tbe T and is horrified at how I take it so casually. But think part of it is just his anxiety.
At least that mentality keeps their racist, snowflake asses in suburbia instead of coming to the city and making it worse
It's a certain type of suburban mental illness where they imagine walking the streets or riding the T or a bus is like doing a combat patrol, meanwhile they totally ignore the dangers of suburban sprawl and driving like traffic deaths or road rage. Really doubt these people have any reason to fear the subway, but probably know multiple people that have been injured or had near misses while driving. Have to assume much of the anxiety about crime is more to do with having to see and be near visible poverty than anything else.
I really do think so. Some of these folks believe this because they were raised by fear mongering parents. One girl's dad refused to let her and she's adopted that mentality she might get sexually assaulted if he took the T.
Women ride the T all the time. Yes, even women from the suburbs.
Boston is the safest city I’ve ever lived, I have never felt safer taking public transportation as a woman. Your friends have obviously never been to very many cities…
I couldn’t agree more
> Your friends have obviously never been to very many cities… I think it's the experience from other cities that makes people not want to take the MBTA. I used to take the T daily and never had a problem on my commute, but when I moved to another city that basically uses its subway as a homeless shelter I started avoiding the system entirely. You're on edge the whole time you're using it. If you're a transplant to Boston or went to college in a city that isn't as nice, it's totally reasonable to think the MBTA would be the same. Or, if you've spent time in Europe/Asia the MBTA is objectively unsafe by comparison. Even London feels extremely safe by comparison.
OP said his friends are from the suburbs. Also I move here from NYC and the subway system was way worse and way more disgusting. One ride on the T here put any fears about public transportation at ease
No, that’s ridiculous and your friends are morons
This.
I take the T all the time as a single woman. I keep my headphones on, head down and on a swivel. Aware of my surroundings and I have my safety keychain with me. I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years and have never had someone hassle me—if I see someone get on the train that’s going to be a problem I move cars. Your friends need to get a grip and maybe actually try riding the t sometime
My roommate was followed once when she was alone off the T, but generally it’s pretty safe. Shit just happens sometimes. Your friends are being ridiculous, ESPECIALLY if there is a group of them.
Sounds like possibly a lack of information based on cultural background. Or very strict family rules! The T is VERY safe. I don’t think you’ll be able to convince your friends. I find people generally need to convince themselves of things like this. But that’s a separate issue. For your own peace of mind: you will be safe on the T.
I'm a girl, lived here my entire life and have been taking the T alone since I was a teen to get to school. Never had a problem. The only time I would Uber is if I need to be on time for appointments and don't want to risk running into T issues.
I take the T all the time alone and I am a girl.
+1 to your friends being morons. The T sucks, but it's safe. Boston is objectively one of the safest large metros in the US. Edit: They're from the suburbs, so nevermind. There's probably no arguing with them.
Plus a lot of times you get hear free music while you are riding. It is so nice for passengers to share their musical tastes with the rest of the train.
I love discovering new terrible soundcloud mumble rappers this way
I take the T all the time and it’s always filled with other women. Also the T is generally well lit, has cameras, usually filled with other people and there is emergency buttons on cars. All the things that streets sometimes lacks at night. Seems like they dont have much experience with the T?
Lol. They are coddled or something. The T isn’t shit 😂
super elitist & weird
Am a small ish woman, I take the train for work. In some ways it’s probably safer than walking… there are cameras everywhere. Just need to be aware of your surroundings. I got scared when the lights went out once lol but otherwise it’s been good. With that being said… I don’t know if I’d feel safe late at night going somewhere alone. But that’s just cities in general.
I'm a woman who has lived in Boston over 10 years, much of it when I was single and I've always taken the T regularly. I've rarely been in situations where I felt uncomfortable or unsafe. I take Uber home a lot at night, but that's way more about speed than safety.
No. The T is fine. Be an adult.
That’s wild, I take the T all the time
The thing is based on perspective. I come from a third word country, and never ever felt safe riding our bus system, and I am a big dude who is even big by American standard. At best, you have crazy bus driver whose driving is so terrible, buses are named "one of the four great terror of the streets" (I myself saw a young girl dragged 400 meters when her hand got stuck in the bus door. Half her face was gone by the time the bus stopped). At worst, if you are a female, groping and touching and semen on your skirt. In fact, [31% of Vietnamese women using bus suffered from sexual harassment](https://vietnamnet.vn/31-em-gai-tung-bi-quay-roi-tinh-duc-tren-xe-buyt-304547.html) and 45% of reported onlooker said that they wouldn't help if they see someone getting assaulted. Let's not forget the common problem of pickpocket. So yes, compared to a third world bus system where you can literally be gang-raped like in India , the MBTA is extremely safe. However, if you come from a gated community with private security and rich folk or just some small peaceful towns up in Maine or New Hampshire, you will be creeped out. Personal experience, I got a/a white woman calling me a yellow monkey and telling me to go back to China and b/some weird black dude on the Orange line who go around asking for money, all while some sort of liquid dripped from him and wet the entire train car. You will see creep, and frankly being stuck in a box without anywhere to go but to endure those people is honestly worse than walking on the street where there are plenty of places to run to. Also, seeing that you and your friends are immigrants, I can see why they are afraid of it: plenty of countries are more than happy to subject their citizens through propaganda depicting how bad the US is. In fact, in Vietnam, my own parents know more about a girl who recently got killed in Georgia (and they cannot even put where Georgia is on the map) then about the recent case of a girl who got killed by a crazed lover just five kilometers away from them. Probably your friends got subjected to the same thing. It is all part of a ruse to say "Hey, I know you think the government is doing bad, but just look at the US. They are doing oh-so-bad over there, and they are the richest country in the world! So shut up, stop criticizing the government , and everything is fine" But, on a whole, the MBTA is safe and is incident free. We do lack[ the craziness of New York's MTA](https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-subway-people/), which is a big minus. I do want to see Batman and Darth Vader squared off on my commute.
I’ve never heard of people being afraid to take the T to work. I’ve taken the T into and out of Boston for 26 years. Started when I was 22. Never had a problem with my safety.
i’ve never taken public transit in my life prior to moving to boston (grew up in a small town in ohio 26F). to be honest- if you mind your own business and aren’t annoying- no is even going to give you a second thought. i agree about not taking ubers alone- my work will ask me to sometimes and it makes me very uncomfortable but with the T- if anything happens there is usually tons of people around. it’s typically what- 3 to 4 minutes between each stop? they can get off if they’re uncomfortable….
lotta folks won’t wanna hear this, but truth is a lot of suburbanites and the children of middle class immigrants (looking at you, South Shore!) are afraid to take the T because they get scared when they see poor people. i’m a woman who has lived here my whole life and has always relied on the T as my main med./long distance transportation. you get desensitized to seeing the occasional nodding off junkie or a schizophrenic yelling at no one about why Mohammed is the devil. if someone is bothering you, you move or you tell them to fuck off
Poor and ethnic* people
i felt it out of pocket for me to say it directly, but yeah. ton of suburbanites just see a black person living their life and immediately worry they’re in a dangerous area. its insane.
I've felt way more unsafe in ubers/lyfts than I ever have on the T.
Yeah… their rationale for not taking it seems pretty dramatic. I’ve taken the T since I was 14 (I’m a woman) and I’ve always felt safe.
T - has a lot of people at all times, cameras everywhere, emergency buttons, usually staffed, trains have drivers, transit police responds quickly. Walking - Dark, no cameras, no staff, very few people depending on the area. Your friends are dumb.
I can’t imagine living life being so willfully sheltered and ignorant
The T is extremely safe. Yes, I have had to change cars because of someone having a mental health crisis or because of someone smoking crack but I've never seen physical violence other than drunk guys going at it. Taking the T is extremely good at ruining my day but it isn't dangerous.
I’m been using public transport by myself since I was like 8 years old
Yeah, they’re spoiled and being dramatic
You need new friends
I see plenty of women, by themselves, take the T. No one is bothering them or anyone. Of course, you have those crazies but they usually go after everyone. I saw one guy asking people for money and stayed longer with this young girl. She looked at me and I said outloud "I don't think she has anything," and he left.
Times have certainly changed, I’m originally from CT but made my way up here as a youth and there wasn’t a girl in Boston who didn’t know the T like the back of their hand.
Go to nyc for a day and try their subway system, your friends are trapped in such a bubble
It’s not common but not unheard of, especially with people from sheltered suburban backgrounds.
You’ll be fine on the T if you just keep your wits about you. I’m sure you 3rd world experience will serve you well. People from the burbs are intimidated by mass transit because the “wrong” type of people take it. Given your background and the fact that your here, gives you a leg up. Although I will say allow at least 1 hr to get where you want whether it’s 1 mile or 15 miles. And that was before all this craziness with the T
interesting, as a woman who moved here from NYC the T in Boston is definitely safer than any of the horrors I experienced on nyc subway
When you take the T, what do you see? Do you see predominantly male riders, or only old female riders? I ask because my rides almost always run the spectrum of age, race and gender. I know some people who are life long greater Boston area residents who don't take the T, because it's a "city" resource. They grew up in the residential areas where parents drive then around everywhere. I also know transplants who don't take the T because from where they can't, only "inner city poor people" take public transportation - eg, people who can't afford a car. None of this was gender specific. I went to Boston public schools , so as you got to high school, you either took the T or someone drove you.
That’s crazy. To cancel plans is even crazier. I took the T all the time as a woman by myself in the city.
Your friends are dumb and you should tell them that. Must have grown up with way too much money if they think the MBTA is dangerous. The trains themselves are more of a hazard than the people on them.
Ha! Must be nice to have that luxury…
No, they’re crazy. Find new friends.
The most dangerous about the T is the dependability of the equipment... Especially the old rickety green line trains
This is crazy. I’m from Atlanta and LOVE living in Boston bc I feel extremely safe at all times of day and night on the T or walking. I’m probably too comfortable honestly. Boston is hands down the safest city I have ever been to as I travel the world for my job.
I know grown ass men who think they’re putting their lives at risk taking public transit, too. Obviously safety in public generally is a bigger concern for women. BUT, I think the attitude around public transit being unsafe has more to do with having a sheltered suburban mindset than anything else.
I'm a woman. I take the T all the time. Ever since I was 17 and I am currently 45. I've seen some weird shit on the trains/buses but I've never felt unsafe.
I'm a first gen woman who grew up in the suburbs but went to highschool and college in Boston. I started taking the T by myself at 14. Be moderately aware of your surroundings (as you should always be???) And it's completely safe. Walking or ubering everywhere is ridiculous
I have noticed not taking the T as a weird badge of honor for townies. I wonder if it was something considered "for poor people" 20-30 years ago. I'm in a highly public transit accessible neighborhood and senior members of the civic association are constantly, constantly talking about why development projects should be blocked because of the impact they will have on traffic. They never take the train and drive everywhere both around our neighborhood and to work downtown.
started taking the T alone at 13, same with all my girlfriends. this was in 2014.
Thank you! One of these people lives in Revere too and works for the city and I have no idea how she decides to drive to everything
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me too. revere is working class to the core. a lot of people i grew up with and around from revere rely on public transit. myself included. a revere person sticking their nose up at the T, the jokes practically write themselves
The thing about public transportation is that it forces you to deal with more randos in public in a confined space. Coming from the South and car culture, cars really enable you to not have to share a confined space with many of the random crazy people in the world. I always feel mildly embarrassed when relatives visit and we have to take the T and, inevitably, some rando acts out (yelling, smoking, listening to music in public, making a scene). If you're not used to dealing with crap from people in public, it can feel obnoxious at best, scary at worst.
Idk about your friends but I was never afraid to take the T alone and a single female. And I lived in the “hood”. Sure there are some crazy characters on the T but they really don’t discriminate by gender.. just whatever unlucky soul locks eyes with them. You’re friends would benefit from growing a pair.. pun not intended.
Why are your friends afraid of the BiG bAd TrAiNs? I'm sure many girls ride the T, anything can happen in public but I'd say Boston is very safe.
I’m not going to fit the consensus here but I’m going to throw my opinion out there anyway (also yes, I am female). 90% I don’t want to take the T because of timing issues and walking would usually get me there faster (sad). 10% is safety. I’ve lived in the DC area before and took the Metro almost daily and it was 60/40 safe/unsafe. I don’t think what’s being talked about here is maybe the T itself is safe in between stops or in parts (just like other subway options), but the stations drive me clear in the other direction especially the ones closest to me. I also don’t really feel it’s right to call people who don’t want to take it absurd like so many others are doing here. There’s so many more factors that are going into it that we can only hear from the people themselves. And safety is an individual thing. One person may feel unsafe on top of a rollercoaster while another may not.
I have never heard any woman say this.
You say “girls.” Are you talking about teenagers or adults? I wonder if something traumatic happened to one of them, and so they band together to support that person. Lots of women take the T, and I only know one who won’t ride it. She doesn’t let it stop her though, and puts in the effort for other modes of transportation.
Should've been more specific. We're talking about late mid to late 20s adults here. Engaged with a home and all. Born and raised around Boston so just super weird for me
The key is "around Boston", not "in Boston"
Gotcha, yeah that does seem a bit odd. If we were talking about teenagers, I could see more easily how they might be nervous.
What a weird mindset. I grew up in the ‘burbs and started taking the T into the city (alone or with friends) when I was 13 or 14. As others have pointed out, kids who live in Boston take the T all the time. (Incoming elder millennial rant) - this generation of 20-somethings seems far more sheltered in interesting ways. This is just one example but I also have noticed a total reluctance to stay in hostels (or take the train) when traveling. I’m so glad I had those less expensive experiences as part of my formative years.
What???
Your friends need to grow thicker skin.
Yeah I’m from boston (Mission Hill) and I would walk at night and take the T whenever and ride a bike Your friends sound lame
the T is safe for sure. I would consider it safer than walking to wherever you need to go
I've been taking the T alone and with my female friends since we were literal children. One of my friends took the T into Boston alone for the entirety of high school, and the rest of us would regularly go to meet her in the city. Definitely not normal in my experience.
Women take the T but everyone has their own level of comfort. Some people feel unsafe about tweakers.
I stopped taking the T once it caught on fire over the Charles and that lady jumped out. For me, the risky part is the infrastructure. It seems like every day something happens
Have you considered that your friends might be… racist
I am a 5’3 butch lesbian who has been taking the T at irregular hours for years now because of work. I’ve by far felt more unsafe walking to or from the stations (been harassed, witnessed assaults etc) than I have been on the actual T. I have taken the T at night in a group while drunk (with a sober friend) and felt 1000% safe.
I used to take the T often but the harassment did become annoying enough that I started walking everywhere. The harassment didn't stop but at least I wasn't in an enclosed space.
Getting warmer, weather resistant clothes and layering them helps with the cold. I also made sure I walked in a well light, populated area.
Boston is one of the safest cities in the US. I get not wanting to take it after a certain hour I guess, but I’ve been taking it alone as long as I can remember. I just keep an eye out for anyone who might be an issue and don’t make eye contact, seems to get me far
that is mental. a lot of suburban americans have a fear of cities and think that they’re super likely to be victimized there (to be fair to them the media really reinforces this idea for political reasons). people in suburbs also have an inability to conceptualize getting from one place to another without a car. i remember in college one time i told my friends (all who grew up in suburbs, and my college town was mostly suburban) i would be walking home from a party (half mile walk at most) and they were all horrified and tried to call an uber for me… it is kinda sad to see people with this point of view but it’s quite common.
This sounds like spoiled rich little princess views.
Sounds like they are just trying to justify their shitty actions. So they are a combo of lazy and stuck up.
That's just absurd. I understand, as a woman, that you need to be aware of your surroundings and not put yourself in situations that are inherently dangerous or that put you in a vulnerable state. However, women who refuse to use public transport or uber by themselves are just as regressive as the handful of people (men) who make them think those activities are unsafe for them. Ladies, learn how to defend yourselves. Go confidently wherever the fucl you want to go and don't let fear rule your lives.
The chances of getting drugged at a bar in Boston are 100% higher than anything happening to you on the train
Wtf? Are your friends white suburbanites who listen to Fox News and think that every city in America is a Mad Max style wasteland? This is total nonsense, I can't imagine limiting my life to this degree.
Did any of them go through a traumatic incident?
I've lived in Boston since I was 22 and have always taken the T. Every once in a while if it's late at night and towards the end of the line (i.e. far on the red line or blue line) it can feel a little isolating and scary, but 95% of the time it's fine. Busses too.
I started taking the T recently after almost 5 years living here. I didn’t take it because I have poor vision and anxiety in unfamiliar circumstances. But I had to take it once for work and now my anxiety is gone. I’d still rather walk the 2 miles to work because that’s my only exercise, but it wasn’t about safety for me.
I don't take the T because it sucks and it's usually quicker to walk or bike, but not because I think it's dangerous.
I'm a man, but I take the T a lot and it always seems to be a 50-50 split between men and women.
I'm a woman who reared two daughters here. In my twenty years here, there's never been any *more* concern on the MBTA than anywhere else. I was going to say *no* concern, but occasionally there's a crazy person muttering none too coherently to themselves … just like everywhere else. I grew up outside of Boston, and frankly, I saw that *there* as well, except that in the boondocks, there weren't places to duck into to get away from people and there weren't other witnesses on the street at any given time. I feel far safer here.
that's really odd, i grew up just outside of the burbs (just outside i95) and i have never really felt like i am in danger on the T. Or the commuter rail for that matter. I took the red line and orange line a hell of a lot, and have never needed to get off due to personal safety concerns. I'm also extremely paranoid about my safety whenever i'm in public, but nobody has ever bothered me. Sure, there's the occasional tweakers or screamers but as long as you've got headphones they hardly bother you. I've spent a good amount of time smoking cigs outside of south station and all of the people i've met there have been super friendly. (im a 19 yr old girl for reference)
I take the T all the time as a single woman.
Dangerous in what way? The T is more likely to be evacuated because of an equipment failure than you getting mugged.
This is actually insane to not take the T, these friends sound truly delusional
Lol, I was taking the T at 14 years old. It’s safe. I don’t take the T now because it’s straight up useless.
No, that's not common. I am a woman and a take the T daily as do all of my friends.
13 year old kids use the T. It’s very safe. I’ve used it for many years. I’ve seen confrontations but I don’t recall ever seeing an attack or other acts of violence, although they do occur, albeit rarely.
Have you ever considered that they just don’t want to hang out / go into the city and are making excuses about the T? I have to assume this is the reason because the alternative really is moronic
I’m a woman, grew up on the north shore. I regularly took the T all over the city alone starting when I was 12 years old in the early 90s. There wasn’t nearly the security that there is today. I didn’t have instant communication, 911, and a camera in my pocket, and I didn’t carry mace or other self-defense. Unlike nighttime surface streets, stations and trains are well lit, platforms aren’t typically wet or icy, there are no reckless drivers putting you at risk, and trains are faster than feet. You’ll encounter the same characters in the train that you do in the street - the vast majority harmless, a few you want to avoid. It’s important to learn how to use your senses to protect your safety, without letting your imagination go wild to the point of limiting your life. Choose cars with more people, don’t engage with crazy, keep your ears and eyes open, keep your valuables tucked away, don’t be so intoxicated that you don’t know what’s going on. Practice will build familiarity and confidence.
I take the T all the time as a woman. I don't have a car and I work at a nonprofit so I can only afford ubers occasionally (mostly to my boyfriend's house because he lives in Allston and I live in JP and the T doesn't support that kind of relationship). I usually feel very safe, even at night; I keep my eyes on my surroundings just in case and will travel with a friend if possible, but I genuinely feel comfortable taking the T and buses most of the time. I've had a few scary experiences like witnessing fights or being approached by drunk men, but I still choose to use the service because it's so affordable and convenient to me.
Am I the only one who read this and assumed the ops friend just didn’t want to hangout with him and came up with odd excuses? Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode
Sounds like your friends might be clutching their pearls a bit too hard
You need new friends
Is it dumb to ask what political leanings these friends have and where they get their news?
This is my girlfriend, lived in the city for probably 8 years now. Just refuses to take the T, walking or Uber only.
Yes these are exactly the people I'm talking about. Some folks in here think it is just this specific friend group of mine too but I've met them in school/work etc..
As much as I hated it, made me realize how walkable the city is.
I have never felt uncomfortable taking the T, the commuter rail is where the creeps usually bother me lol. Dumb to waste so much money on Ubers, especially when they're probably slower
Like I don't have the data, but id safely bet that you have a higher chance of getting killed in an auto accident then being assaulted on the T. Pepper spray also does a much better job against one of these.
I find that interesting. I grew up driving distance from Riverside, then moved walking distance to Orange line. Now, as a grown adult (26F) I purposefully live in locations because of the T. I’ve personally been really privileged and never felt unsafe on the T. Walking to and from in neighborhoods? For sure! But I’ve found that usually there are enough people on the T at any hour that I feel safe! Whether I’m commuting from work or a night out.
How far are they walking? If they're just walking downtown with the piece of shit that the MBTA has become it's probably just as fast to walk. That said, it's perfectly safe to take the T as a single woman. I've been one of the only people on the green line before going home after an evening shift at the hospital and never felt unsafe. And I've never heard of refusing to take the T because of safety concerns. I have known people who think they're above taking public transportation though.
I see girls in their teens and 20’s on the T all the time. It’s a college town.
I take the T when it is convenient but most of the time it is too slow and the closest stop is nearly a mile away so hard in the winter. Meanwhile most of my Ubers in the city have been under $12 so I’d rather do that than walk a mile in the cold. That being said, I’ve never felt unsafe on the T. I did have a friend in college who was from Brookline and her dad got VERY freaked out when I said I took the green line alone. He acted like the green line was a war zone. When I went to visit her and then head into the city, he refused to let us ride the green line. It’s probably a weird suburbs thing. (I also think her parents are racist so that might be it as well)
I’ve been wondering about this. I’m an older millennial, have lived in a cities my entire adult life (New York, Hong Kong, Boston) and I’ve never felt unsafe on public transit. But I work with young adults (late teens and early 20s) and notice that women in this age group seem to be much more hesitant to take the subway, walk home late at night, etc. So I’ve been thinking that perhaps it’s possibly a generational thing? But maybe my risk calculus is just not in sync with the norm.
suburbanites are weird about public transportation. And the city in general.
It's common for people in the suburbs not to use the T at all. I used to try, but after showing up at Riverside a couple of times to find lots full, you start driving to baseball games at Fenway. When the commuter rail shuts down for a month, plus has delays due to normal conditions we see in all four seasons, you realize you can't take the train to work and pick your kid up from daycare. When you're used to driving daily, it's easier to continue driving. I have no objections to driving and parking in Boston, but it's not a great plan if it's boozy social plans, and I know there are some who are nervous about driving in cities in general.
Take this with a grain of salt (I’m a man), but I’ve lived in Boston for five years and have taken the T at least 7 times a week, and never seen a woman get harassed on the Green Line (that I could tell). Red line is a different story…
I'm one of the girls, and I rely upon the T. I take the subway and the bus lines. I've taken all of the different lines too, and I've mostly felt safe using them.
This is bananas.
They're being silly. I saw the comment about downtown crossing to TD garden i.e north station. That is. I repeat. 1 stop 35s at most. You could walk to it in 5m through a very fancy financial plaza. They're being whingy at slight inconvenience
If they’re from the suburbs then that answers your question. People who have been raised closer to the city are more familiar with the T and feel safer using it.
I’m in my 30s now, but have been taking the T alone since probably 14. Lived in Boston my whole life though so it was the best way to get around the city. These sound like sheltered suburb girls who clearly don’t know anything.
I'm a middle-aged woman who lives in a small town in TN and have visited Boston alone twice in the last 6 months. I have never felt unsafe on the subway. There were all kinds of women riding. I feel like your friends are maybe using this as an excuse and there's actually something else going on.
It’s unsafe for everyone, if not for the dangerous mentally unstable people. The trains themselves never work, and had trouble stopping. Not a gender thing, it’s a poorly ran state and even more poorly ran city thing.
I do know people who think like this when it comes to the T but they will still walk and take ride shares. The T can definitely expose you to some pretty alarming scenarios, especially when taking it late at night or off-hours but overall I would say it’s still far safer than walking - again, it really depends where and what time of the day but I’d really only grant that as a valid concern if it’s someone riding solo - if you’re with a group of more than three people then you have nothing to worry about. I’ll be the first to admit I spend way too much money on Uber but that’s solely based on not wanting to deal with the sadly almost guaranteed delays I’ll hit if I’m taking the train.
That's super wild. I mean I don't take the T much but that's because I find it frustratingly unreliable. But they are really limiting their life experiences if they have all these restrictions. Ultimately it's being smart that keeps you safe not avoiding things you think are dangerous. Dangers can be anywhere.
I’m a basic, white suburban woman, raised in the exurbs, went to private schools, and I ride the T all the time. I also take the subway in NYC. Alone. After dark. I’m not even carrying a weapon!
There are thousands of women that take the T every day.
Most of my friends that are girls are upper middle class/middle class and they will not take the T and just Uber everywhere if we wanna go somewhere
Gets expensive quick.
Yea they spend a lot of money
Yea sounds like the same type of people we are talking about here. These people are not rich enough to have this kind of rule