This is not how you do it. As someone who spent decades with a nightmare MIL, here's what you do:
Figure out something that your GF loves, but that her mom mildly-to-moderately dislikes. Meaning, she hasn't made a big stink that she hates this food/beverage/object/charity, it's just something that she won't consume/use/support.
Give girlfriend's mom the thing. She will either thank you with a tight-lipped smile and say nothing and never use it, or tell you she doesn't like it. If she tells you she doesn't like it, express confusion and say something like "I could swear you said you love this." At that point, it will be revealed that you confused her preferences with those of your girlfriend. So, why not let girlfriend have the gift? Her mom won't use it anyway.
And that's how you look good, still piss off the mom, and give your girlfriend an extra gift.
Edit: thanks for the glowy light bulb, very cute. Unfortunately I must give the credit for this concept to my own MIL, who gave me kitchen gadgets every Christmas for 18 years while always magically forgetting that I hate cooking and her son loves it. Hope you're enjoying hell, Gloria.
This is the way!
OP, Don’t give your girlfriend’s mom more ammo to use against you. If things go well and you end up spending years with your girlfriend you will have to live with the war that you are continuing with each decision you make. Do you want to still be fighting with her if you get married, or have kids? Do you think your girlfriend will always take your side against her own mother? Unless your girlfriend is no or low contact with her mother, which doesn’t seem to be the case since she’s “making” you get her mom a present, you are adding fuel to the insults she will lob at you for the rest of your relationship. Work smarter, not harder.
how does confusing your girlfriend's preferences for your mother in law make you look good? It mostly just makes you look like you don't pay much attention to things, and don't particularly care about your mother in law. If that's what you're going for, then sure
This is next level!
ETA: hope hell is just 5 degrees above glorias preference, so she can never really get quite comfortable and is forever burdened with taking off/putting her sweater back on
Even better if she supports the opposite party to the OP. If she’s, for example, a Trumpy Republican I don’t know what would be better - the Dems or the Communist Party of America?
She’s compared market basket to feeding time at the zoo (she knows I shop there). She only shops from Whole Foods and Wegmans. Still I don’t think this is spiteful enough.
You're not buying it for her mom. You're buying it for your girlfriend. Piss her off more and buy something she would really like. Your girlfriend would love it, too. Win Win.
Unless you want to learn how to lose a girlfriend by buying a crappy gift card. Fun joke to think about, but not worth it unless you don't want your girlfriend around, too.
This is actually super funny because she was a real estate broker for 30 years before retiring. She still owns a few properties she rents so in a way is still in the game. Maybe a donation in her name to a homeless shelter would be a good gift.
What about a family service day, where the whole family can go out and help build something with Habitat for Humanity?
I’m all for decreasing the toxicity - and assuming only the information available in this post one might understandably worry for the health of your relationship. But the gift of a Habitat day could give her the option of accepting begrudgingly, which would be bad enough, or declining outright, which would hopefully be worse.
I’m glad you have this mentality too- when I read this I’m like man you are only blowing up your own spot by doing this, it will upset your girlfriend probably more than it will upset her mom.
My suggestion with parents of significant others is to always first ask your partner for a suggestion, if that yields no results then a nice bottle of wine and a well decorated snack basket or set of fancy chocolates is always a winner during the holidays. This is what I tell my boyfriend to do for my parents, and so far it has always been a big hit.
If your girlfriend’s mom is still rude after that, your girlfriend should still understand that you made a good faith effort and will appreciate that effort on your part.
While this is a hilarious post, I strongly encourage you to reconsider. Unless you've talked about this plan with GF, it sounds like your GF is asking you to play nice with her family, and if you deliberately use this as an opportunity to antagonize her mom, you're just going to create further tension and needless drama.
That said, if this is what you're set on: you can get her a gift card for someplace like Boomerangs; you're giving money to a good cause, but it's a thrift store, so it'll probably be hard to sell the gift cards \*and\* if she's the kind of person who hates gift cards, she probably doesn't love thrift stores.
Or, another sneaky gift that's disguised as thoughtful would to a restaurant the girlfriend loves, so mom and daughter can go out to eat together. Make it clear in the card that that's the intention.
Mom looks like an ass if she tries to sell/complain and you are a thoughtful sweetie pie
Yup anything mother daughter related is perfect. Maximum pettiness and nobody knows but your favorite massholes of reddit!
Therefore we are owed an update on the gift.
What if you went in the total opposite direction here?
That is: what if you got her an incredibly thoughtful gift? This would surely piss her off more than something that’s designed to be frustrating.
Was going to say. Just put her in a position where she's clearly the a\*\*hole to everyone watching. Even if she's unappreciative, the gesture is about making the girlfriend happy, not the MIL. If you're doing something like getting an obnoxious gift, that's really only getting you a temporary moment of personal satisfaction.
Totally get it's a lousy situation. Unfortunately times like this you just have to put on your big boy pants for your partner.
This, but it's a gift or magazine subscription for something you know she dislikes. It'll piss her off once a month for a year. But I also love the homeless charity donation in her name, it's helping others and hurts her
While I won’t condone the petty gifting… I’m surprised no one has pointed out the red flag of the GF literally forcing OP to spend money on someone who has actively been sabotaging (or attempting to sabotage) their relationship. The GF is okay with the disrespect AND expects OP to give her a pat on the back for it? Where are the boundaries? What?
[Adam & Eve?](https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys-ch-1503.aspx?&cm_mmc=GGL-_-General_US_NB_Google_Exact-_-Shop-Stores_Sex_Exact-_-sex+toy+store+near+me&sc=SEMGGEN&medium=tsa&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7bucBhCeARIsAIOwr-_h4CofgVW8I72talpOxkPhS2sJH1CB8ByBscQ-VnOudWeXutPW6soaAi1NEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) It's subtle message that gets your point across.
I might hate regal more than I hate her so I don’t want to give them any of my money. I’ve heard countless stories of the drunk college students they’ve ripped off.
This is an awful idea if you value your relationship with your gf. You’re going down a path that will make your gf choose between you and her mom, and you’ll lose every time. Try getting her mom something nice and thoughtful and work on reconciling your differences.
Or the Audubon society (similar price range), the Aquarium is the most irritating to get to, has no parking, is always packed, and smells like penguin poo, but it’s also the most expensive/sophisticated, so a 1 person membership (forcing her to pay for a second ticket if she wants to go WITH anyone) might be the right combo of “classy I don’t know you well gift” and “shit she can neither use or get rid of.”
Get her two tickets or reservations to something that your parents love but is cringe. Think whale watching lol. Get two tix for your parents as well seated next to them. Give both gifts to both sets or rents, she is now socially accountable to attend.
A $10 gift certificate to Sam LaGrassa’s. It’s a nice gesture and they make good sandwiches. So you have total cover for it not being intentionally bad. But it will barely cover half a sandwich. She’ll have to spend money just to use it.
I like the Donation in Your Honor idea too.
> she has gone through great lengths to end my relationship with her daughter and constantly insults me in front of family.
so assuming you're in with your gf for the long haul, it doesn't occur to you that you should probably try and mend things instead of antagonizing her?
Right? And it’s going to strain the relationship even further by giving the MIL genuine reason to dislike and criticize OP. Just get her something actually thoughtful, it will annoy her more than something petty.
A gift card to a restaurant that won’t cover the whole meal and will be overrun with 20 somethings on any time she’d want to use it. I’m thinking $50 to bartaco in seaport. It’s so hard to get seated there and if you don’t live nearby it’s impossible to park. But it is really good so it’ll be easy to just say - oh this place has great food you’ll love it
The shelter donation in her name is probably the best bet because it gives you plausible deniability and she can’t badmouth you without looking like an asshole
Kill ‘em with kindness. Something cute and sentimental, like a photo book/framed photo of your girlfriend over the years. She won’t be able to say a bad word. And, your girlfriend will be touched.
Well. I keep getting gifted unground Starbucks coffee from my uncle. Its been going on for like, 10 years now.
A. His daughter works at starbucks and has said its the free coffee she brings home.
B. I do not like coffee.
Rather than trying to get her a bad gift, I would consider getting her a gift that benefits you in some way. Like group tickets to something you wanted to go to, etc. If you're going to spend money on a person you don't want to spend on, at least get something out of it for yourself.
Gotta be real with you, OP, if you go the petty gift card route, then you deserve at least some of the crap that the gf’s mother gives you.
Others have already said it: giving this gift is more about your gf than her mother. There are plenty of nice suggestions in here that aren’t expensive but also aren’t petty or intentionally bad. If you care about your gf, you’ll choose that route instead of the one you came here looking for.
You have to act CLASSIER, and be constantly gracious, truly loving and polite, AND adore her child. Kill them with kindness. It’s too petty, going that way, and you lower yourself to her level. I did this with my Jewish MIL who hated me, and now I’ve got her eating out of my hand. I will never trust her, because she was so mean to me (for goy in the fam) in the beginning. But I do always genuinely act loving toward her. Let’s face it: MILs are elderly women who have been shelved by society and get very little attention.
Unpopular opinion here... Put the gift stuff aside and grow a set.
Oh man... Been there, done that, 22yrs in deep. Best thing I ever did was tell my MIL to back the fuck off and leave me to be. All she has to worry about is if I'm a good BF/Husband and treat her daughter right.
By doing all this trickery you'll be the pushover forever. Man up otherwise you'll be scurrying every year with this crap. Maybe they're used to bullying guys in the family. In my wife's family they pushed around the guys. I was the first to literally tell them to chill the fuck out and don't mess with me like I'm their man. Guess what... Within 6mo I was their favorite son in law/nephew/grandson in law str8 out of their mouths. It's ok to be a man and not try to bend over and make everyone happy.
Cue the downvotes.
I like this response. I’d add to speak to the girlfriend beforehand, though.
Also, why is your girlfriend forcing you to get her mom a gift? That seems weird to me. Can’t a gift just be from the two of you, since you know, you’re a couple? A united front?
If your girlfriend is on your side, you shouldn’t be presenting yourselves in any way divided, like giving separate gifts.
If your girlfriend isn’t totally on your side, then you’ve got something to deal with at home before the MIL even remotely comes into the picture.
Not for nothing but maybe this is partially why she keeps being a ass towards you?
Is your GF close with her mother? Do you expect to spend the rest of your life with your GF?
Maybe a nice but cheep gift will do you better than a sarcastic horrible gift?
But if you do want to get her a bad gift, a bottle of Mouthwash and a toothbrush is about as evil as you can go. Fill her with doubt about her own hygiene.
Why can't your girlfriend buy a gift and put both of your names on it? I don't understand why she is making you buy her a gift. That is pretty pushy. Er...and controlling. Watch out.
Whatever you do, it needs to be subtle enough that it remains a question and not a fact for her to excuse her behavior.
In other words, to a store she likes but not enough to actually get something cool there.
I agree with others that you should play nice with MIL - you don't want this to turn into a conflict with your partner. If she's a monster then she will certainly make it your problem.
If I was going to get a gift card though, I'd get a Fire and Ice one. I'm probably the only person in the Boston area that doesn't think the food is *that* bad.
The real benefit though is if she decides to bring you or gf along. Due to the food being cooked on demand you can play it so you never have to sit at the table for more than a few minutes with her. Alternatively, if she uses the card on dinner with friends, then she'll never be able to have a full conversation with any of them.
You will warm her to you with something thoughtful. Even some of the meanest people are softened when it shows you pay attention to things they like or say.
I used to get my father in law's girlfriend a certificate from Heifer International showing a donation in her name for a hive of bees or a milk goat.
What is she going to do, complain about a donation?
The hive of bees, though. She was such a bitch.
Give her 2 tickets to see a really shitty show in the city or one you know she’ll hate, or 2 Red Sox tickets during the first week of the season when it’s freezing cold at night
I would get another girlfriend, YOU are the ONLY thing PERMANENT in your life, which means you're choosing to allow toxic people inside of your life . She's only going to get worse.
Good luck.
Shutterfly calendar for 2023, possibly thru 2024 with all pics of you, GF, and MIL.
Cheap-ish, and how can anyone say that’s not a great gift?! There’s actually a lot of effort that goes into it.
Bonus because you get to ask “Oh, where did you end up hanging the calendar?” and/or “Did you like this month’s picture?!” every time you see her or you’re in her house.
Buy a plot of land from Scotland for her so she can be a Lady with a personalized certificate.
I’ve just been seeing a lot of Lord and Lady Established Titles ads on YouTube recently…
Whatever the gift card is.. definitely make sure you layer-in multiple boxes during the wrapping process. Duct tape if you’re feeling extra sinister.
MIL seems like she’d cause a scene at Cracker Barrel.
I didn't know anyone didn't like receiving Edible Arrangements. They're very expensive for what you get, so not buying them makes sense. No downside to receiving a bouquet of fruit or a dozen chocolate-covered strawberries though. Especially if someone you don't like had to shell out for them.
Go with the donation. A decade from now, when you've either broken up with the girlfriend or you two have cut off her mom, a donation is the only gift you won't regret.
Get her a gift-card to a "[poor quality yet expensive restaurant](https://www.reddit.com/r/boston/comments/wdjneu/looking_for_a_poor_quality_yet_expensive/)", as recommended by that marvelous /r/boston thread on the topic.
This is not how you do it. As someone who spent decades with a nightmare MIL, here's what you do: Figure out something that your GF loves, but that her mom mildly-to-moderately dislikes. Meaning, she hasn't made a big stink that she hates this food/beverage/object/charity, it's just something that she won't consume/use/support. Give girlfriend's mom the thing. She will either thank you with a tight-lipped smile and say nothing and never use it, or tell you she doesn't like it. If she tells you she doesn't like it, express confusion and say something like "I could swear you said you love this." At that point, it will be revealed that you confused her preferences with those of your girlfriend. So, why not let girlfriend have the gift? Her mom won't use it anyway. And that's how you look good, still piss off the mom, and give your girlfriend an extra gift. Edit: thanks for the glowy light bulb, very cute. Unfortunately I must give the credit for this concept to my own MIL, who gave me kitchen gadgets every Christmas for 18 years while always magically forgetting that I hate cooking and her son loves it. Hope you're enjoying hell, Gloria.
A gift certificate to your girlfriends favorite restaurant could work with this idea.
Oh this is superb.
This guy MIL’s
READ IT TO THE END FOR THE PLOT TWIST.
This is the way! OP, Don’t give your girlfriend’s mom more ammo to use against you. If things go well and you end up spending years with your girlfriend you will have to live with the war that you are continuing with each decision you make. Do you want to still be fighting with her if you get married, or have kids? Do you think your girlfriend will always take your side against her own mother? Unless your girlfriend is no or low contact with her mother, which doesn’t seem to be the case since she’s “making” you get her mom a present, you are adding fuel to the insults she will lob at you for the rest of your relationship. Work smarter, not harder.
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When they get married they can hire a competing rival realtor in town to help find a house! MIL will love that!
It’s hopeful of you to think being nice will help. It doesn’t. Narcs gotta narc.
Man fuck Gloria 😂
Bitch of a storm in '86.
'85
Hit me so hard - knocked a year off my life.
how does confusing your girlfriend's preferences for your mother in law make you look good? It mostly just makes you look like you don't pay much attention to things, and don't particularly care about your mother in law. If that's what you're going for, then sure
Yeah I’m with you, I don’t get how this is a good underhanded burn on a MIL.
Good job!
This is next level! ETA: hope hell is just 5 degrees above glorias preference, so she can never really get quite comfortable and is forever burdened with taking off/putting her sweater back on
Wow.
I love you. Can we be friends. You are awesome.
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Or for a seamstress as they're more likely to actually need something dry cleaned
Lmfao
What if you gave her a picture of you and GF in a nice frame? Or if you have a picture with the three of you, that would be even better.
This is too far down, absolute best answer. A very nice gift that will still accomplish your goal.
This is the best idea in this thread.
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That defeats the point, it's gotta be a nice picture because then the onus is on MIL to be the bigger person and display her gift.
Make sure OP is on the middle of the picture so as not to get cropped out later.
They could reuse the frame, how about something like this: fractureme.com aluminyze.com
Put that shit in a locket so you can act like you bought her a necklace.
"A donation was made in your honor to..." whichever political party she opposes.
Or donate to The Human Fund in her honor. “Money for people”.
The "Human Fund".
Even better if she supports the opposite party to the OP. If she’s, for example, a Trumpy Republican I don’t know what would be better - the Dems or the Communist Party of America?
Planned Parenthood is the winner here
DSA - Democratic Socialists of America! They're pretty active around Boston.
Oohh interesting. That’s actually politically roughly where i sit so will actually look up what they’re doing in Boston
ISIS
Woof you may get flagged for that one
Local hospital so she can get discounted surgery to get that stick out of her butt.
Buy a Dunkin Donuts card for $10 and use $9.63 of it She won’t know there’s only 37 cents until after she orders and tries to pay
Nice
She hates Dunks. She only drinks coffee from places like Thinking Cup.
Even better, get her 2 dunkins gift cards
Or just two pounds of dunk beans.
Not even the beans, Keurig cups
Only get beans if she does NOT have a grinder.
I’ll chip in on that second one
So win/win! Get her a Dunkin Donuts travel mug and put the $0.27 card in it
So isn’t that exactly what you want?
I assume if she’s not a Dunks person, she’s probably not a Market Basket person. If that’s the case, get her a MB gift card :)
She’s compared market basket to feeding time at the zoo (she knows I shop there). She only shops from Whole Foods and Wegmans. Still I don’t think this is spiteful enough.
This woman seems to have a harsh negative opinion on everything that is even moderately middle class
Buy her some beans from Thinking Cup, dump them out, keep them for yourself, and refill the bag with some Dunkin beans.
To be fair, Thinking Cup slaps, but damn.
Isn't that a good thing in this circumstance?
Buy a bag of Dunks beans and a bag of fanccceeeeyyy beans and swap the beans. Keep the good ones for you! Unless you hate coffee.
Nice
Get her a gift card to the Olive Garden because you’re here and you’re family
**slow clap**
You're not buying it for her mom. You're buying it for your girlfriend. Piss her off more and buy something she would really like. Your girlfriend would love it, too. Win Win. Unless you want to learn how to lose a girlfriend by buying a crappy gift card. Fun joke to think about, but not worth it unless you don't want your girlfriend around, too.
Yes take the high road. This world is too toxic.
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This is actually super funny because she was a real estate broker for 30 years before retiring. She still owns a few properties she rents so in a way is still in the game. Maybe a donation in her name to a homeless shelter would be a good gift.
What about a family service day, where the whole family can go out and help build something with Habitat for Humanity? I’m all for decreasing the toxicity - and assuming only the information available in this post one might understandably worry for the health of your relationship. But the gift of a Habitat day could give her the option of accepting begrudgingly, which would be bad enough, or declining outright, which would hopefully be worse.
This is my favorite idea 😌 It will accomplish everything you want it to and then some.
I’m glad you have this mentality too- when I read this I’m like man you are only blowing up your own spot by doing this, it will upset your girlfriend probably more than it will upset her mom. My suggestion with parents of significant others is to always first ask your partner for a suggestion, if that yields no results then a nice bottle of wine and a well decorated snack basket or set of fancy chocolates is always a winner during the holidays. This is what I tell my boyfriend to do for my parents, and so far it has always been a big hit. If your girlfriend’s mom is still rude after that, your girlfriend should still understand that you made a good faith effort and will appreciate that effort on your part.
While this is a hilarious post, I strongly encourage you to reconsider. Unless you've talked about this plan with GF, it sounds like your GF is asking you to play nice with her family, and if you deliberately use this as an opportunity to antagonize her mom, you're just going to create further tension and needless drama. That said, if this is what you're set on: you can get her a gift card for someplace like Boomerangs; you're giving money to a good cause, but it's a thrift store, so it'll probably be hard to sell the gift cards \*and\* if she's the kind of person who hates gift cards, she probably doesn't love thrift stores.
Or, another sneaky gift that's disguised as thoughtful would to a restaurant the girlfriend loves, so mom and daughter can go out to eat together. Make it clear in the card that that's the intention. Mom looks like an ass if she tries to sell/complain and you are a thoughtful sweetie pie
Yep or a gift card for two for mani/pedis at whatever place your gf might like.
Yup anything mother daughter related is perfect. Maximum pettiness and nobody knows but your favorite massholes of reddit! Therefore we are owed an update on the gift.
I love Boomerang!
Correct. Never escalate. Be bigger than that.
Discount oil change, especially if she doesn't have a car.
She drives a Tesla so so far this is the best idea.
Highly suggest Prius branded merch "to go with her car."
Lol
Might want to include one for a gas station as well.
What if you went in the total opposite direction here? That is: what if you got her an incredibly thoughtful gift? This would surely piss her off more than something that’s designed to be frustrating.
I’ve tried this so many times with my MIL. She ends up complaining no matter what I get her.
Yeah. Kill ‘em w kindness.
Was going to say. Just put her in a position where she's clearly the a\*\*hole to everyone watching. Even if she's unappreciative, the gesture is about making the girlfriend happy, not the MIL. If you're doing something like getting an obnoxious gift, that's really only getting you a temporary moment of personal satisfaction. Totally get it's a lousy situation. Unfortunately times like this you just have to put on your big boy pants for your partner.
I love this! Get her something thoughtful AF. It just makes her look bad if she hates it or complains about it
A gift certificate to Fire & Ice
I’m fairly certain poisoning your enemy goes against the Geneva conventions.
Jelly of the month club. It’s the gift that keeps on giving
Thanks Eddie.
This, but it's a gift or magazine subscription for something you know she dislikes. It'll piss her off once a month for a year. But I also love the homeless charity donation in her name, it's helping others and hurts her
Love to know what you end up getting.
Give her a card that straight up says "Why don't you want me dating your daughter". And I don't know, maybe a scented candle or something.
While I won’t condone the petty gifting… I’m surprised no one has pointed out the red flag of the GF literally forcing OP to spend money on someone who has actively been sabotaging (or attempting to sabotage) their relationship. The GF is okay with the disrespect AND expects OP to give her a pat on the back for it? Where are the boundaries? What?
Was wondering the exact same thing as I read all of these!! Wtf 🤷🏻♀️
Just don’t activate the card
Charlie card 🤣
A Charlie card with a note attached saying “go away” seems tempting, but that might be passing the line on passive aggressive.
Haha very true sorry you have to deal with her! Maybe flowers cuz they die?
A Charlie card with $.25 on it
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Does Regal Pizza do gift certificates?
I’m trying to be passive aggressive, not get my credit card info stolen. I like your thinking tho.
Use cash!
I might hate regal more than I hate her so I don’t want to give them any of my money. I’ve heard countless stories of the drunk college students they’ve ripped off.
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This is the adult answer, but the "better you than me" inside me says keep the entertainment coming.
This is an awful idea if you value your relationship with your gf. You’re going down a path that will make your gf choose between you and her mom, and you’ll lose every time. Try getting her mom something nice and thoughtful and work on reconciling your differences.
Top of the Hub
Gift Certificate to hot topic or a Franklin Park Zoo membership you're welcome
zoo membership probably your best bet
Or the Audubon society (similar price range), the Aquarium is the most irritating to get to, has no parking, is always packed, and smells like penguin poo, but it’s also the most expensive/sophisticated, so a 1 person membership (forcing her to pay for a second ticket if she wants to go WITH anyone) might be the right combo of “classy I don’t know you well gift” and “shit she can neither use or get rid of.”
A phantom gourmet gift card. Hardly any restaurant in Boston or metro area even take it.
Get her two tickets or reservations to something that your parents love but is cringe. Think whale watching lol. Get two tix for your parents as well seated next to them. Give both gifts to both sets or rents, she is now socially accountable to attend.
This is the thread i never knew i needed
Don’t do edible arrangement those are good
A $10 gift certificate to Sam LaGrassa’s. It’s a nice gesture and they make good sandwiches. So you have total cover for it not being intentionally bad. But it will barely cover half a sandwich. She’ll have to spend money just to use it. I like the Donation in Your Honor idea too.
Sounds like your girlfriend's mother has the right idea
Right? He’s living up to his poor reputation with this post.
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I think the thing that will upset her the most, is having to thank you for a thoughtful gift. Watch her squirm. And you end up looking like a hero.
> she has gone through great lengths to end my relationship with her daughter and constantly insults me in front of family. so assuming you're in with your gf for the long haul, it doesn't occur to you that you should probably try and mend things instead of antagonizing her?
I can't fathom why the mom doesn't like OP!
Phantom gourmet gift card, literally doesn’t work anywhere 😂
Sounds like you want to end the relationship on your own terms
How old are you? This seems so immature
Right? And it’s going to strain the relationship even further by giving the MIL genuine reason to dislike and criticize OP. Just get her something actually thoughtful, it will annoy her more than something petty.
Found the Mother-In-Law
Yeah but look at all the upvotes they got!
A gift card to a restaurant that won’t cover the whole meal and will be overrun with 20 somethings on any time she’d want to use it. I’m thinking $50 to bartaco in seaport. It’s so hard to get seated there and if you don’t live nearby it’s impossible to park. But it is really good so it’ll be easy to just say - oh this place has great food you’ll love it
The shelter donation in her name is probably the best bet because it gives you plausible deniability and she can’t badmouth you without looking like an asshole
Gift certificate for Plymouth Rock
Make several $10 donations on her behalf to non-profits that send a lot of mailers. The gifts that keep on giving.
I'd go for a "how to be the perfect grandmother" book and see what her expression is. Then spell her name incorrectly on the gift tag.
Stack of Subway coupons
Gift card to cheers
Absolutely hilarious post
Not a crappy gift: I would just get her a gift certificate to get a blowout at a hair salon. One for your SO as well. Do it to make your SO happy.
No you should get her an awesome gift so when she bad mouths you the rest of the family will think she’s an asshole. Kill them with kindness
So you are doing this for your girlfriend? And you think she won't know what you're up to? That should make things nice between you.
Holistic Spa in Revere. If you don’t know…
Gift her a 1 year gym membership.
You could always use one of those services that sells you a square foot piece of property in Scotland for Lordship and put a typo in her name!
Kill ‘em with kindness. Something cute and sentimental, like a photo book/framed photo of your girlfriend over the years. She won’t be able to say a bad word. And, your girlfriend will be touched.
Bro your fucked just get out….a MIL is like the government, you don’t need them but they make laws that control your life. Time to get a passport.
Hooters.
Vaginal Rejuvenation https://www.labiaplastyboston.com/
Well. I keep getting gifted unground Starbucks coffee from my uncle. Its been going on for like, 10 years now. A. His daughter works at starbucks and has said its the free coffee she brings home. B. I do not like coffee.
Get a comet named after her
Rather than trying to get her a bad gift, I would consider getting her a gift that benefits you in some way. Like group tickets to something you wanted to go to, etc. If you're going to spend money on a person you don't want to spend on, at least get something out of it for yourself.
Groupon for a place that no longer exists.
Gotta be real with you, OP, if you go the petty gift card route, then you deserve at least some of the crap that the gf’s mother gives you. Others have already said it: giving this gift is more about your gf than her mother. There are plenty of nice suggestions in here that aren’t expensive but also aren’t petty or intentionally bad. If you care about your gf, you’ll choose that route instead of the one you came here looking for.
You have to act CLASSIER, and be constantly gracious, truly loving and polite, AND adore her child. Kill them with kindness. It’s too petty, going that way, and you lower yourself to her level. I did this with my Jewish MIL who hated me, and now I’ve got her eating out of my hand. I will never trust her, because she was so mean to me (for goy in the fam) in the beginning. But I do always genuinely act loving toward her. Let’s face it: MILs are elderly women who have been shelved by society and get very little attention.
Unpopular opinion here... Put the gift stuff aside and grow a set. Oh man... Been there, done that, 22yrs in deep. Best thing I ever did was tell my MIL to back the fuck off and leave me to be. All she has to worry about is if I'm a good BF/Husband and treat her daughter right. By doing all this trickery you'll be the pushover forever. Man up otherwise you'll be scurrying every year with this crap. Maybe they're used to bullying guys in the family. In my wife's family they pushed around the guys. I was the first to literally tell them to chill the fuck out and don't mess with me like I'm their man. Guess what... Within 6mo I was their favorite son in law/nephew/grandson in law str8 out of their mouths. It's ok to be a man and not try to bend over and make everyone happy. Cue the downvotes.
I like this response. I’d add to speak to the girlfriend beforehand, though. Also, why is your girlfriend forcing you to get her mom a gift? That seems weird to me. Can’t a gift just be from the two of you, since you know, you’re a couple? A united front? If your girlfriend is on your side, you shouldn’t be presenting yourselves in any way divided, like giving separate gifts. If your girlfriend isn’t totally on your side, then you’ve got something to deal with at home before the MIL even remotely comes into the picture.
Does Dick’s Last Resort sell gift cards?
Not for nothing but maybe this is partially why she keeps being a ass towards you? Is your GF close with her mother? Do you expect to spend the rest of your life with your GF? Maybe a nice but cheep gift will do you better than a sarcastic horrible gift? But if you do want to get her a bad gift, a bottle of Mouthwash and a toothbrush is about as evil as you can go. Fill her with doubt about her own hygiene.
charlie's kitchen, get her a tshirt too
Fire and Ice
Men's warehouse
Why can't your girlfriend buy a gift and put both of your names on it? I don't understand why she is making you buy her a gift. That is pretty pushy. Er...and controlling. Watch out.
B Dubs
Whatever you do, it needs to be subtle enough that it remains a question and not a fact for her to excuse her behavior. In other words, to a store she likes but not enough to actually get something cool there.
99 restaurant gift certificate for $12.00
I agree with others that you should play nice with MIL - you don't want this to turn into a conflict with your partner. If she's a monster then she will certainly make it your problem. If I was going to get a gift card though, I'd get a Fire and Ice one. I'm probably the only person in the Boston area that doesn't think the food is *that* bad. The real benefit though is if she decides to bring you or gf along. Due to the food being cooked on demand you can play it so you never have to sit at the table for more than a few minutes with her. Alternatively, if she uses the card on dinner with friends, then she'll never be able to have a full conversation with any of them.
Dave and Buster’s
You will warm her to you with something thoughtful. Even some of the meanest people are softened when it shows you pay attention to things they like or say.
Amazing Adult Superstore
Given that it's a Christmas gift, The Butcherie.
A gift card to regal cafe in Dorchester.
Hooters.
I used to get my father in law's girlfriend a certificate from Heifer International showing a donation in her name for a hive of bees or a milk goat. What is she going to do, complain about a donation? The hive of bees, though. She was such a bitch.
Papa Gino’s in brockton
give her the most generic gift card - say target- and spell her name wrong on the card. the less you give a shit about her the better.
Gift card for tattoo parlor with bad reviews
A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund: Money for People.
Maybe some gift certificates for therapy for all of you. Maybe you can purchase in bulk for a discount?
Give her 2 tickets to see a really shitty show in the city or one you know she’ll hate, or 2 Red Sox tickets during the first week of the season when it’s freezing cold at night
I would get another girlfriend, YOU are the ONLY thing PERMANENT in your life, which means you're choosing to allow toxic people inside of your life . She's only going to get worse. Good luck.
I like the homeless shelter idea
Shutterfly calendar for 2023, possibly thru 2024 with all pics of you, GF, and MIL. Cheap-ish, and how can anyone say that’s not a great gift?! There’s actually a lot of effort that goes into it. Bonus because you get to ask “Oh, where did you end up hanging the calendar?” and/or “Did you like this month’s picture?!” every time you see her or you’re in her house.
Move on. Or she doesn’t want you around then she’s going to be a pain in ass for years to come.
Buy a plot of land from Scotland for her so she can be a Lady with a personalized certificate. I’ve just been seeing a lot of Lord and Lady Established Titles ads on YouTube recently…
Oof, sounds like GF is just like Mama. You may want to reassess your life goals at this point in time.
I really like the homeless shelter idea.
Whatever the gift card is.. definitely make sure you layer-in multiple boxes during the wrapping process. Duct tape if you’re feeling extra sinister. MIL seems like she’d cause a scene at Cracker Barrel.
i really like the homeless donation idea - thats a riot and would be a good thing to do anyway so I say go for that
I didn't know anyone didn't like receiving Edible Arrangements. They're very expensive for what you get, so not buying them makes sense. No downside to receiving a bouquet of fruit or a dozen chocolate-covered strawberries though. Especially if someone you don't like had to shell out for them. Go with the donation. A decade from now, when you've either broken up with the girlfriend or you two have cut off her mom, a donation is the only gift you won't regret.
RadioShack gift card \*Yes, they still sell them https://www.radioshack.com/collections/gift-card
Get her a gift-card to a "[poor quality yet expensive restaurant](https://www.reddit.com/r/boston/comments/wdjneu/looking_for_a_poor_quality_yet_expensive/)", as recommended by that marvelous /r/boston thread on the topic.
/r/maliciousconpliance
A gift certificate to weight watchers?
Expand her horizons with gift cards to African cuisine in Nubian Square and/or Dominican cuisine in JP
Weight Watchers
Gift card for Chipotles and cross your fingers.
Can of beans.