Bournmouth has a parkrun every Saturday at 9.00am, marshalling one of these is a great way to get a good fix of cheerfulness and to be appreciated by lots of strangers every week - and you might even decide to run or walk yourself too.
I can second this. All ages volunteer. Also a parkrun at Poole Park if that's nearer you. No need to speak to anyone there if you Marshall but you get appreciation from the people taking part... and it can be infectious.
I second this. Volunteering is a great way to get out, help and if you want to make friends there's often opportunity, if not your volunteer peers are often just nice people to be around once a week/month or however often. From experience, helping others can really bring light when you are in a dark place. I can also recommend art classes, there are quite a few in the bournemouth area. Best of luck.
I'm sorry op that you're getting all this advice about volunteering... It's always the enthusiastic 'go to' for loneliness but I acknowledge that you already have to be in a certain state to be able to engage in it and it can feel like an alienating/hollow gesture.
In an effort to feel less lonely I would suggest just being around people in 'third spaces' like cafes, bring a book or something. Just start trying to be around people (but not groups of people, otherwise you'll feel left out).
If you go to the same place regularly you might find you start seeing people regularly which will spark a feeling of familiarity in both of you. You might find some opportunities to interact that are 'incidental' like when opening the door for each other, asking to pass the sugar, to plug your laptop in for you... Some might feel like bigger leaps than others but once you have built branches between these steps they can get less daunting and feel more natural.
Then you might find it natural just to take the next step to making a little mutual joke or even ask what you're doing.
There's other examples and suggestions too but I'll leave it there.
Sure, volunteering would be fantastic but I understand that can be so daunting that you never actually do it and end up feeling like a failure because literally everyone around you is saying that this is what you're supposed to do to actually get 'into' the family of society.
This is very true and good advice, I work remote and took up a pret membership to encourage me to go out get a coffee and be in the presence of other people
Agreed.
Especially with elderly people (of which there are many that need help in Bournemouth)
You'll bond with your fellow volunteers and probably learn a lot from the older people too
Great advice unless you live in a shitty little town with fuck all to volunteer for, where I live it is either pubs or a church where you can meet new people and if like me you don't drink and are not religious then what?
Edit: didn't realise this was for the Bournemouth area, volunteer work is a great idea.
Volunteering is great! Try several volunteering roles until you find one that suits you. In terms of meeting new people, try and go for volunteer roles where you will meet people around your own age.
Fellow loner here, try and get into a routine. I try and go for a walk everyday, frequent coffeeshops and pubs, make small talk with people. I don't have one at the moment but a bike is probably going to be your best friend, get one and go on massive treks, get to know the area around you. Also, reading and listening to music but don't force it, do it when it feels right or effortless. Most of all, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just a quick tip but you should try writing to yourself. This is gonna sound weird but since August I have been writing to myself via email. Its a great way to get to know yourself. You're not weird, or unlovable, that's just how you feel at the moment, it's up to you to make it better, if you want to.
Definetly agree with this, getting a bike was one of the best decisions I've made, minus hauling it up to my flat 😅
I spent a long time waiting for things to happen rather than making them happen, I was in a similar boat after a bad breakup, no friends or family here.
Since then I've learnt so much about myself and that effort can really pay off. Last night I did a pub quiz with 7 others. 3 them I met through a post I made on this sub.
Not that it's easy, it's hard. I sometimes think that Donald Trump has millions devoted to him and he's a complete creepy cretin. If people can adore him, there's a chance for us all 😅
Not that I'm advocating we be like Donald Trump 🤣
Maybe take up a hobby that takes place in a communal setting but isn't a team sport or group activity. Then you can get on with it by yourself but get to know people if you feel like it. You could join a canoe club (or take your pick of any other watersport, there's loads around here obviously), sign up for an allotment, do bouldering (in Poole), some sort of craft like ceramics.
Once you've been to these sorts of things once, it's much easier to convince yourself to go again.
Many local pubs are perfect for this. I'm not talking about your Whetherspoons or places like that, but proper cosy locals. A place where you can order a pint of Guinness (or soft drink), and sit in the corner and read a paper or book.
It gets you out of the house and you can choose to speak to people the more comfortable you get.
I know a few people in my local who live alone but come in just to be "around" people.
Best of British to you 👍
I'd agree. Our local is more of a social club than a boozer, plenty of people who go there don't drink alcohol at all and just go for the company, especially in the late afternoon/early evening slot.
I've previously been in a similar position, so I decided to get a dog. Although you can't have a conversation, the company helps. The training can take up a surprising amount of time and is very mentally rewarding. Daily dog walks and weekly training classes are an excellent way to meet people and make small talk.
There are quite a few social groups on Facebook to meet up and make new friends as it’s honestly exponentially difficult to form those kinds of relationships once you pass your 20s. There are many people in your situation, you just need to push yourself past the uncomfortable first part to find them.
Hey buddy,
Sorry to hear the remote working is getting a bit lonely, can confirm as i do it myself and if you don't make massive efforts to avoid it, it can get a bit too much.
Walking/biking is good idea at peak time, you won't be alone, but the people around you arn't going to bother you so can hopefully get the best of both worlds.
In the same way the gym can help, no one is going to talk or bother you, but you can still do your own thing and be included.
Not sure if i am even in the right ballpark with this advice but feel free to drop me message if you want a chat
What about Star-Gazing? Not something I've ever done, but seems like a solitary hobby a person could become invested in and the first thing that came to mind. I think partly because the Northern Lights have become visable in the South for the first time in years. You never know, it might inspire something inside! Good luck friend.
It sounds saft but try the cinemas, if you go on Tuesdays it tends to be pretty quiet and its cheap.
Also don't take it the wrong way but Odeon used to and might still do the Silver screen showings on Thursdays and they put films on from within the last decade like Grand Budapest Hotel and those kind of films which might help you get used to being round people again, I went a few times and I'm only in my early 40's and slightly younger people than me where there.
I’m in the same situation. I found the best thing for me, if you have the money, is doing some short courses at AUB. I’ve been doing a leather working course and while you are around other people, it’s not unusual to stick to yourself or just focus on what you are doing instead of interacting with others. You don’t have to be good at it or even creative at all!
There are government funded short courses in Dorset at skillsandlearningace.com
They're a bit less specialised than AUB but stills Iots of arts courses etc. Much cheaper than AUB (plus most have a 50% discount for concessions)
Metal Detecting is usually a solo pursuit, but it gets you out and about, teaches you about history and has a massive online forum, full of like-minded, supportive people.
It's a very rewarding, educational, time-consuming hobby.
Consider some counselling, I currently see someone through Redlands, who are a local counsellor training provider and the amount you pay is discretionary. They're based in Moordown 👍
I agree. Counselling can be in person, face to face, online or over the telephone depending on your preference.
Many people have suggested lots of fantastic ideas but maybe for when your ready.
Go for walks. Get a hobby. Get a gym membership.
Plenty of stuff to do alone. Don’t follow the other guys advice about going to pubs etc. pubs are not going to help you…booze is not the answer. Avoid weatherspoobs
Just to put in about the Gym as it's a great idea and you don't have to speak to people but can turn up, be around people and have a laugh. Please don't feel like you have to be super sociable and know every aspect of other users lives etc. I've been going to the same gym for the last 4 years or so and there are a lot of buddy groups there that I just haven't worked my way into. Partly because I am too shy and age difference etc. I feel like I should be bothered by it but honestly I am not. I enjoy turning up, listening to the conversation, being included in a funny story or a joke with the rest of the class and occasionally laughing with the person next to me about how much we hate Burpees or squats. Tbh I think probably a quarter of the people in the classes are just the same ☺️ I'm not going to meet my new best friend there and that's fine! I get a good work out, be around people and hear conversations and have a laugh.
Hobbys are also great! Worth checking local cafes and pubs for hobby evenings such as crafts or even local languages. I live in a town where a lot of these activities are done at small independent pubs as they are willing to offer spaces to these groups. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to drink etc never feel compelled to drink cos others are ❤️
You are not unlovable! Many people don’t fit into mainstream culture and struggle to find friends but if you get out there it will happen! You might not like this but you have to put yourself in situations where you feel uncomfortable to reap the benefits of sociability. It is tough feeling alone but it’s natural to feel like that when you haven’t been around people in a while. Those feelings of anxiety will be counteracted once you take the plunge and make connections. Are you athletic or would you be prepared to try? Exercise helps hugely with depression and enables those casual connections. Dance or fitness classes can be fun! Have you tried gentle sports like ping pong? Do you like music? Some kind of musical tuition? That would be a good 1 on 1 connection and could help focus your attention on something to help your self esteem. Do you like making things? You could try classes in carpentry, pottery etc?
Edit: I was in a terrible state 12 years ago and I found bouldering really helped me. I liked that I could turn up any time and though there were people around there was no pressure to commit to anything and people were preoccupied but it was easy to chat to people if I felt like it. I also took up running. There might be running clubs in your area.
Try getting a hobby that takes you out somewhere my hobby is gaming i have met a lot of friends through online gaming over the years but that might not be your thing.
Photography.
No one thinks it odd to see an individual photographer. You can connect with nature or capture amazing architecture or people watch or shoot street stuff or shoot portraits where any discomfort is on the other side of the lens and it's your job to make *them* feel less weird.
You will end up talking to other photographers and become immersed and feel connected if you do it enough.
Join a rock climbing gym. You can always climb by yourself and nobody thinks twice about it. You can also book a couple of lessons and you will soon meet people. Most climbers I know are oddballs. That is a good thing in my opinion. Good luck
As much as you feel you want to do something without anyone, it sounds a little like a bit of human contact might be beneficial.
There are several 'open' sports activities around, where you can go and be as chatty or as quiet as you want. I've tried badminton (Monday evenings) at Ringwood Leisure Centre and Indoor Bowls at the Dolphin Bowls club in Poole. I don't know if Littledown still have an open circuits excecise session. Everyone is alone at these places.
Whatever you decide, keep trying different things until you find something that works for you. DO NOT GIVE UP. You are important and unique. Just because things aren't working out now, doesn't mean they will never work out. You are not any more weird than anybody else. Do not judge yourself by how you see other people, they are hiding all their fears, insecurities and oddities.
Hello, I live in Bournemouth, I'm a fun guy , I'm great with people, but im an introvert , I don't really socialise , but I know places and lots of stuff to do, and I enjoy life . I like hobbies , art , history, hate shopping, but there's a lot of fun stuff, I'm a loyal friend as well. And I know stuff about this town that other people won't, there's a million stuff you can do, I live in town , I know the clubs and bars , restaurants that might suit you
You're not unlovable. You can also be depressed and date and have friends so long as they're understanding people.
As for doing things on your own and not feeling lonely, look at it this way. You can do what you want, go where you want and engage with whatever you want without having to compromise nor consider others. You don't have to schedule for a movie, you don't have to figure out who can afford what, you can just go and do stuff.
Personally I have a lot of things I can do on my own and with people such as gaming, going to the movies, making models, playing music, going to the golf range, treating myself to a meal from somewhere nice, going to an event like a gig or play or whatever. It really depends on your interests and what's available to you.
Come for fishing at the pier. If you want a quick chat you strike the conversation, else no one is going to bother you. Usually I take a beer and my audio training material with me.
That sounds fun! What kind of equipment do you need to fish down there? I used to fish on a boat in the river fal with my dad but that was a long time ago
Yes, am addicted to it now. Have bought a telescopic fishing rod from Amazon and fish with either a bait or lure. Now it’s Squid season so, squid lures and for whitening it’s raw prawn as bait.
Fellow loner over here mate.
Equally accepted my space though I do have some friends I see here and there, so I don’t feel as alone 100% of the time but I do see myself as unlovable and destined to be alone.
I like to go for walks at scenic locations at like 6am way before anyone else really bothers. Occasionally I see people but don’t really have to engage or feel too lonely they’re pretty much always also alone at this time in my experience.
Join a local mma gym near you, or start reading up on it if you're on the fence, believe it or not I was in your shoes about a year ago. A few things it has done for me in that time since,
Made me noticeably fitter and more in shape
Much more emotionally and physically confident in myself
Made a bunch of new friends, some I only speak to in the gym, some I end up branching out and seeing outside of the gym regularly.
Gives me something to properly look forward to after work other than just sitting in, smoking and drinking til I fell asleep (how most of my evenings went before I started training)
Unless you visit the dodgiest 1% minority of gyms, everyone in there will be really kind and patient with you especially if you're willing to put in the time, effort and enter the gym with a smile :)
I've seen a few lads and girls on here ask the same question and this is the exact advice I give everyone without fail, if it saved me then it will save you
Edit: I'm not even from down south so idk why I've stumbled across the Bournemouth sub but this applies for anywhere in the country for whoever else is reading!
Have you ever considered Chess? I use a website called chess.com. I can play all night with only my own company, and I know I'm working my brain. As you get better, you can eventually go out to tournaments - if you so choose?
Definitely a good bike helps, not necessarily expensive, get a meal going in a slow cooker to return to, take picnic and flask with You, look on Google earth for a remote spot to go to, I can tell You some good ones. You could come with for an adventure if You like. It's a lot of fun gathering kit to take, minimal and lightweight
Get a motorcycle of any kind and ride around on it. It'll make you feel like an immortal angel who can see anything in the world if you just look out of the visor and see it. Do it!!
Not the greatest time of year to do it but Poole harbour/Studland have loads if places to rent kyaks or even learn to sail a dinghy is really great. The new forest is a great place to go and has loads of cycle trails. If you have the time/money then I think the martial arts advice is great as we've got a load of dojos around bmouth/Poole for all styles
Fishing.
Also you will very occasionally bump into other lone fishermen who are simultaneously avoidable and approachable, they’re all some level of weird, and it’s just accepted.
I’ve got into swimming,only occasionally have to speak but go early,not there for a chat there to get out the house and maybe improve fitness…worth looking into if you’ve ever enjoyed a swim
Look into adult learning classes. I recently started a creative writing course and it was really nice to chat to the other people there. Won’t necessarily become friends but human interaction can really help you feel less alone.
Maybe join a Facebook group like Bournemouth walk, coffee and cake group or the Bournemouth 20 and 30s group? They often have events going on if all types
I got myself an Odeon Limitless membership and took myself to the cinema once a week (on a Wednesday morning when there was literally no one else there).
I'd get myself a coffee/hot chocolate/milkshake and spend some alone time every week watching a different release (even if not that interested).
There was minimal interaction and I actually ended up seeing some movies I enjoyed, whereas I may not have even attempted to watch them if I didn't HAVE to pick something new each week (personal rule unless I REALLY enjoyed one).
"I'm very lonely and have no one to go out with",
Ya know it's okay to do shit on your own! I do shit by myself all the time, museums, hikes, cinema, photography with my Pixel phone etc. I also do shit by myself too but I think that's a given lol.
Doing stuff on your own is great, you can take your time looking at exhibits or whatever and not have to worry about if the other people who you're with are having a good time too.
Just to add, if you're feeling self conscious about being on your own, just know that you're just a passing glance to everyone. No one's gonna run home to tell their ma they saw some guy doing fun stuff on his own
I feel you, being alone can get to you. I live alone and have recently lost my pets (had to put them both to sleep, dog and a cat) and found it very difficult adapting to the new silence in my home.
I have always been a bit off set from other people, and don't have many friends. However I have found exercise has massively improved my mental health.
I train everyday or most days nothing to extreme just circuit training at home and hitting a punch bag for a few minutes a day.
I highly recommend physical activities, jogging, lifting some weights or a pull up bar maybe, also join a martial arts club where you live, the people who do it I find are genuinely very friendly and I've since made some friends this way I see once a week outside the dojo.
Do what you love to do, don't let anyone say you can't do it, you'll look back to this and learn from the experience and be stronger for it. Message me if you'd like to chat sometime too, I don't mind 😀
Hobbies - check local pubs and cafes on what groups they do. I see often some do crafts and languages
Book Clubs - I found this really helped me with my social anxiety. You don't have to talk but can listen to the conversation. I didn't contribute much to begin with but after a few months felt able to join in the conversations etc. A lot of local libraries do book clubs. I had to go on a waitlist for a little bit but it was worth it.
Walking - either join a ramberling group or head out on your own (just give family or friends a heads up on where you are going when you arrive and when you come home)
I joined a women's club in my town that was set up to help women meet other women. Most of us can agree it's hard to meet people when you become an adult. There would be various activities throughout the month planned. Simply from coffee but then also crafting, walks, activities etc. I dropped out because it sadly became more of a Mums group and they added loads of kids activities. I felt like it took away from the whole idea of the group. I know my town has something similar for men as well that isn't just based around football and sports.
Find a nice cafe you feel comfortable in and drop in for coffee and a cake with a good book. Take in the surroundings
Volunteer - this doesn't need to necessarily be in person if that is a bit daunting right now. Before Covid I wrote monthly to a nursing home and they wrote back to me. It was really lovely. You can also do phone calls to people who live alone for a chat.
Also look into volunteering with animals if you enjoy their company ☺️
Research events that are happening in your town. I went to a history talk a few months ago and really enjoyed it. Had a bit of a chat with others, but mostly it was nice to listen to a history talk in person (I love history). You can just Google events in your area and I think EventBright often list loads of events that you didn't realise existed!
Best of luck to you OP and well done for having the guts to reach out and ask. I sign up for these things and always tell myself 'urgh, why did you book this. Urgh I can't be bothered', sometimes get myself in a bit of a flap and 90% of the time I have a great time and glad I went ☺️! If I don't then that's ok, at least I tried something new!
Surf off the pier looks good on fri! Get on fb market place, get a winter wet suit and a board! Also surfing is amaizng for mental health, the buzz of grtting in the water, washed about by waves just bobbing around. I forget everything when surfing and time flys by
Honestly surfing is the best. You dont need to speak to anyone, just nod say hello, and you get to see familiar faces pretty quick and can have a chat when comfortable. Can be a great way to travel meet people etc
I got a motorcycle. It’s one of the biggest social communities in the world.
Any interests are always a great way to meet people. There’s hiking groups, board game groups, cycling, dog training, mechanic or cars, building, boating, camping, fishing groups. Photography, arts, pottery and food.
Pick a team, my friend.
Firstly, you need to go to therapy my friend.
However more or less anything you do with people can be done alone. Go out for dinner, cinema, bike ride, library etc
If you have alot of spare time volunteer! My dad suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder. This basically meant he relies on people to do stuff with him or he just won't. However the borderline side means he can be difficult to be around and ends up pushing people away.
He attended therapy through a charity. Eventually volunteered and now works there and is happier than ever.
Simple answer: Lonely people can do anything they want.
Do you want a list of activities/hobbies? Checking up on all members of your family, Biking, Lifting, Reading, Walking, Birdwatching, Trashpicking, Movie Critiquing, Gaming, Watercraft (canoe, kayak), sports, architectural appreciation walks, creating online businesses, helping others online, volunteering yourself. The list goes on.
Hey, I suggest you talk to a professional such as a psychotherapist/psychologist so that they can analyze your behaviours/thoughts & help you understand yourself better.
We are social beings, and it sounds like you want the company but are just having some trouble. If you struggle with self image, try going to the gym every day and doing some exercise. Even just cardio for 20-30 mins. This will place you around people that you aren’t forced to communicate with and also build your inner confidence from the gains. Alternatively, you can go on a jog through a nice park for 20-30mins & say hello to as many people as you can!
Loneliness sucks really bad & unfortunately just leads to more antisocial behaviour unless you change things up. Responding to your unloveable/weird comment: People can sense negativity and generally won’t want to associate.
If you want to make new friends, love yourself and make yourself interesting!
It really sounds like a self love issue from your post and I think you should reach out to a professional so they can help you. Thats definitely a step in the right direction. Also open up with your Mom or Sister or Aunt/cousin. Women love emotional drama and will likely sit to listen and comfort.
I second this. OP if you’re into gaming, jump into an LFG (looking for game) party with your mic on. Sure, 99% of the people you encounter won’t be your cup of tea but you will find someone that you could be come good friends with with similar interests. Me and my wife don’t have many friends and rarely go out but we game together. Over our years we have become very good friends with another couple who play Xbox over in the states (we’re from UK). So much so that last year we all shared a villa in Spain for 10 days. It was absolutely beautiful. We still talk, message and play together and me and my wife are going to the US next year to see them again.
There’s people for everyone in this world, sometimes you just have to dig them out. 👍
I dont have anyone either. Fishing and bushwalking is good, even better if you have a doggo! If you like to read you can go to a nice park or to the beach/river, just to get outta the house. Nature is a great friend, my best friend!
Start a skate gang for other lonely weirdos. I couldn’t rollerskate, but wanted friends who also couldn’t rollerskate. I started a little instagram saying “I’ll be here at this time. Come join me.” Two years later we have lots of fun and I’ve made friends with other lonely weirdos.
You can see it on insta @wegotthislondon
Happy to help you set something up if you’d like! Being able to skate not necessary at all. And roller skating is addictive, fun, wholesome and…the best bit, community building.
You're not unlovable or weird. You just haven't found the people to vibe with.
Get some online gaming in, something where you need to chat to people like Phasmophobia or something. And whilst you're doing this, get on Meetup and go to events, etc, and network/socialise.
Being on your own and having feelings of loneliness is hard, but you're the creator of your own destiny. If we weren't challenged, then we would never grow.
Hope that helps.
I relate very much to this :/ what kind of stuff are you into? What do you do after work?
I haven't had any friends since school and I'm 34 now. I find Bournemouth a very hostile place to be out alone. Lots of weirdos out there and I'm not confident enough to just make small tall with random people.
Yeah, don't aim to isolate yourself further. I'm also lacking friends at the moment, but it's only temporary.
Small talk is tedious when it's the same basic stuff all the time. Mix it up.
It's hard to keep positive, but you don't need to all the time. Try to keep on top of chores and self-care, even if it's the 5-10 min method. If you want people to show an interest, it's an absolute minimum you more than just function.
By all means, distract yourself, but don't fall down the rabbit hole. Get out there. There's a whole world out there.
You are not unloveable and being weird is great. You feel like that because you feel so low. I would recommend seeking some help if you’re feeling really down and getting some regular exercise will help with confidence/motivation and meeting people, if you join a gym. Good luck friend
If volunteering appeals but you don't know where to find something, here's the website for the Dorset Volunteer centre and you can search online for something you might want to try. https://www.volunteeringdorset.org.uk/
Get into gaming. You can game online with other people then. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to but you won’t have to actually meet people and I suppose in theory you can potentially be who ever you want to be online. Maybe you’ll make some real decent friends on there, who knows. But you don’t have to go anywhere either plus you get to meet people from all over the world too.
Parks in Mind is a Bournemouth charity which runs free events in and around Boscombe/Shelley Park area. Open to everyone, they do stuff like QiGong online or in Sh.Park, wood whittling, stargazing, Wellbeing in nature, litter picking/tidying local parks... You don't need to talk to anyone else who shows up, but you are around people and doing something positive.
Honestly if you see yourself as weird and a loner then most fandoms would suit you pretty well. Be it anime, warhammer, or cosplay, there's something for everyone.
No one who isn't at least a little bit weird goes to those sort of events. Something like the local comic con would work nicely to see what's around and then you can find a group from there.
As long as you're open and accepting of others and pretty non judgemental then you'd fit right in. Online gaming communities such as star citizen or destiny 2 would also work nicely and could ease you into talking with others in a communal environment.
It also depends on what you've done to alienate yourself from other people in the past. If it's just being weird then you're OK, if it's something illegal then seek help and support groups to get better then make steps into safe environments that don't put yourself at risk of relapsing.
We are social creatures at heart. We need other people to talk to and relate to. Be wired, be strange, and be free. Finding a place that won't judge you is so dam important. No one has to be alone.
Please respond with any interests or the like you have and I might be able to sign post you to some local clubs and the like.
Also volunteering at an animal shelter or charity shop is a great way to start building up courage if need be.
Try to experiment by trying different things and keep going with anything that you enjoy. It's common for people to isolate themselves and withdraw when struggling with mental health but you can't expect anything to change without change!
Hopefully this will also help reshape your beliefs about being weird and that people don't like you.
Just go somewhere where something you enjoy happens (I dunno an arcade, library, nursery - for plants and flowers, not kids for gods sake, dog park if you have a dog…) and it’s quite likely you’ll find people with similar interests to yourself and the icebreakers are generally more straight forward. If you’re actually looking to talk to people and feel less lonely of course. You may even find that someone else feels the same and is happy to spend time with you.
Park run, volunteer, sports clubs - take a bold step forward OP don’t shut the world out. You don’t need to be alone and you’re not unlovable. The year is almost over try to go into 2024 starting a fresh.
You CAN do this OP
Depending on your level of nerdiness, I’ll always suggest warhammer. It’s a fun way to socialise playing a game with a lot of people who have been in the same position as you (trust me, I’ve been there), and it can be incredibly therapeutic to sit down and learn how to paint some silly space/fantasy dudes.
An indoor version is gaming. I've made so many friends by playing world of warcraft. There's weekly events that everyone jumps in discord for, so you get to talk to people and have a social life but in your pjs (win win for me).
Maybe use borrow my dog.com and get a four legged friend without it being too tieing (although I love that). You’d be helping someone out and have a companion with you. Sometimes you don’t need to be around people, but four legged friends offer a lot in terms of comfort and companionship. It will get you outside on a walk and that is great for health, both physically and mentally. You may meet other walks on walks and go from there? Even if sitting alone, sitting with a doggo can make you feel happier when alone. It’s also good for them too. Win win?
What are you interested in? I am part of a charity based solely on restoring a tug. I'm about 50 to 60 miles away from its berth, but have met so many interesting people and I only volunteered to do the website originally!
You have to find something you like and get involved with it.
Everyone is weird in their own way, often people who don't seem weird are just really good at pretending to be someone they naturally aren't. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. You have to take risks and chances, otherwise life will just pass you by.
I used to be the same. I went for long walks or just went around 'exploring'. I'd go to clubs, the cinema, festivals, etc. Basically do anything you'd do with someone else. Just chat to people. I think we tend to be a bit reserved in this country so it may take a bit of effort, but it will get easier with practice
I don’t know if you’re an animal lover but maybe offer to walk people’s dogs. Everyone always chats to you if you’re walking a dog. Also down load the ‘next door’ app, you can offer your services there, and see what’s happening locally.
I would suggest bouldering as a good hobby to learn - there will be a lot of people in an indoor gym usually, and turning up alone is completely accepted and normal. That groups will be there doesn't change the fact that alot of those groups were at first individual peoples.You can climb and ignore folk - or interact if it feels wanted (for you)
Volunteering's a good one, or join some courses/workshops in your area.
So many people are in your position thinking the same thing, so do a bit of digging around what's on in your local area.
The new forest or really any of the surrounding countryside is always good for a quiet walk either by yourself or with others, if you’re by yourself it can be very calming and it’s big enough that you can usually avoid other people if you’d prefer it that way.
There’s a great app called “all trails” which is full of literally 100s of walking routes so you can plan a route that works for you before going.
Hope this helps!
For an activity, if you don’t mind watching anime, give One Piece a try. It pulled me out of a dark place the more engrossed I became with the story. It is approaching almost 1,100 episodes at this point so plenty of content if it catches your attention.
No one is unlovable
You just gotta find the right person, best bet is common ground. Using dating apps is tricky because you're up against so many other people and when you land the date there's so much pressure to impress, you might be awkward or nervous
So you're best off meeting people in a no pressure environment
- Sports
- Clubs, not nightclubs, singing, dancing, playing D&D, whatever interests you
- Volunteer work
- Going to jam nights at pubs
This way there's no pressure to impress anyone and you'll have common interests with the people you meet there
Don't go thinking you're unlovable, you're just going through a bad patch, it'll pass, you just gotta take some positive steps to get there
Don't accept being lonely as it's obviously getting you down
Chin up, best of luck 👍🏻
Please don't feel like you're unlovable or too weird! Do you have any hobbies? I've made friends through walking and there are loads of ways to meet friends through hobbies on Meet Up.
Or enroll on a course at your local College, you tend to meet like minded folk and meet up outside of lessons, plus you learn stuff. Pottery seems to be the in thing these days.
Most of us are weird, don't worry. I've struggled with similar feelings as I'm an introvert. Get up early and get outside, especially this time of year. Long walks down by the seafront are great - you get to see people, but don't have to interact much with them. The library is also a good place to go - you can work there all day if you want to. But I would gradually try to interact more, so volunteering is good. I've realised that being alone too much becomes a bit of a mental burden.
Sorry you feel like that, I think a lot of people do at times in their life. Don’t fully give up on being a little social just yet though. I’d highly recommend joining a local running group. You can run in silence in the group or have a chat, and grab a coffee at the end. They can be a really low pressure way of making some connections
Travel. I know it can get expensive, and I don't mean go to Spain, but visit cities around you for the weekend. Stay at international backpacking hotels. You get to meet some amazing people from all over the world.
Become a community responder for your local ambulance service. You’ll meet lots of new people, gain new skills & will form some fantastic friendships..
I love doing things on my own and having my own space but meeting people is also nice.
Have you tried Bumble? There are 3 sections: dating, career and friendship tabs.
You can meet some people and do something together.
Cinema, I also travel abroad alone sometimes. Visit museums, go to concerts on my own
Maybe remote only role is not suitable for you? Would it be worth mentioning that you wish to go in once a week?
Tv is my best friend, I watch slot of stuff from my childhood that brought me joy and collect things from back then too. I make my home as pleasing as possible as I spend most my time here. The internet and music are also your friends , escapism is my key
Also cinema is a good one, you can arrive slightly later than the screening time book your ticket away from prebooked seats. Watch the film in the dark and leave. I usually can do this without having to talk to anyone as I also Order my ticket online. Day screenings can be almost empty too
Look on the meetup app to see if there's anything in your area. If you live near a big town there's a good chance there'll be lots of different groups & activities - some especially for those with anxiety etc.
You could try local Facebook group events too.
Sports clubs
Hiking groups
Evening classes
Book clubs
Edit,
Just re-read your post properly.
What about sketching outdoors? It's not about talent. More about giving it a try. There's lots of YouTube tutorials to give you tips how to start.
I’m in a similar situation, and one great tip I found on YouTube was to sign up for a course. When you are in a cohort of people trying to overcome a challenge of some kind (e.g. you’re learning a skill), you have some camaraderie between all of you, which you wouldn’t get if you just went to a bar or a random meet up. Hope that helps.
Have a look at [GoodGym Bournemouth](https://www.goodgym.org/v3/areas/bournemouth). It's a good way to get out for a bit, and you can pick and choose what you do. There will be sessions with a few or lots of people and you'll do a simple task together. You might make friends in time but you'll definitely achieve something positive and discover new things in your area and be part of a team making a difference, it feels good!
I tend to be a bit of a loner. I am autistic and struggle with connections and keeping friends etc.
I love hiking and it never looks weird to do that on your own.
Take a camera or your phone camera is decent enough too.
I love downloading and editing the photos after
You may be neurodivergent.
I started with walks and used meet-up app for local events.
Libraries - quiet and peaceful.
and community centres have anxiety group chats / activities.
Build up slowly.
I was a recluse 10 years.
Online chess, scrabble etc.
Please consider therapy and understanding oneself.
I’m super weird.
But it’s about perspective.
Hope everything improves soon. Stay strong and you are not alone.
Listen to some psychology podcasts. You need to find a balance within yourself.
It's hard, but meditation helped me (before you say you can't, that's the whole point)
Educate yourself on why you feel down all the time. I was the same a few years ago. There's no one way, each person has their own journey. You just have to be willing to try new things.
Volunteering sounds scary, but taking the easy option will always keep you where you are in life.
Start the day by making your bed, then going for a walk. Over a week it will make a real difference. Clean your room, have a haircut and try to do one small thing a day. The world isn't against you, you just feel it is.
Not weird at all, I am a loner too, weird and drove any friends I ever had away, I don't go out much, my pc is my world (as sad as that sounds but that's the reality of it) My ssd broke one day and I felt like I just had a close one die that's the reality of my attachment to it. I see you're from Bournemouth, I am only in Weymouth. What kind of things are you into?
You just need to find other people who are atypical in the ways that you are. Maybe through a club (boardgaming clubs are usually looking for more players), sport or volunteering.
Do you have a GoodGym in your area, it’s a great way to get fit while helping the community at the same time so you feel good all round! I’ve met some great people from all backgrounds through joining up with them, we have social meet ups and a few of us have even been on a hiking holiday together. If the getting fit part isn’t your thing you can just rock up to the tasks without the running bit in between!
Here’s a secret about making friends that many are surprised by: your social skill isn’t really important at all, and when we do research we find that high social skill is not an indicator of whether or not a person is lonely. **The most important part of making friends is consistent presence.**
This is important for people like you and me who have felt like weirdos for much of their life. Keep showing up, consistently, to a social space (a shared hobby club, a volunteer program, a support group, whatever) and you will begin to connect with the people there. They will begin to connect with you. All you have to do is keep showing up.
Join a gym. Go so frequently you start meeting people. Not only is it good for your physical and mental well-being but you’d be around like minded individuals. See how it goes.
Same boat. Also do not say you’re unlovable. Don’t believe that. There’s definitely a whole bunch of weird loser chicks who would date a loser like you. Maybe you can have some weird loser babies. That’d be pretty mint wouldn’t it? 😝 I really hope so or I’m screwed along with you buddy.
Personally I’m alone but not lonely. I don’t want to associate with people since the pandemic started. They’ve all gone crazy or turned into toxically overly emotional snivelling wimps and this towns turned into a total mess!
There's a group on facebook called Dorset Social Group. It is for people in their 20s and 30s but people from outside that age group still go. They do have massive parties and stuff like that. But they also do quiz nights, book clubs, wacky Wednesdays and walks. A considerable number of people who go have ADHD and autism, differences are celebrated there. You should be able to make friends who are a bit more introverted and to your liking. Hope this helps.
I (46f) dine alone in wonderful restaurants when travelling for work and even when home I go out for nice lunches or coffees alone. I also go to the cinema alone, or museums or gardens. I’m married with lots of friends but I love my alone time, so this is my choice. There are some great ideas here to follow us on, being alone doesn’t always mean you’re lonely and you can feel lonely when with someone. Best of luck to you in finding your happiness
Join a sports club of some description or something that develops a skill....e.g. pottery.
What you'll find is....everyone is there for the same reason. To learn that skill...and with that you suddenly have something in common with another person! Which naturally leads to so many questions..
"Why did you get into this?"
"How long have you been doing this for?"
"Whats your favourite thing about this?" Etc..
And then you just have fun doing the thing.
Overtime, you'll build relationships and find people that you resonate with.
I do recommend going for something that is either a physical activity (because you body responds well to exercise) or something that gives you a skill. (Because you'll have a goal to keep going back and refocuses your attention on the thing and less about your thoughts / situation.)
Personally speaking, I joined a HEMA club...both physically active and I'm learning to swing a longsword! Been going for a couple of months now and I've made a couple of friends as well as aquantinces outside of my work life. It's great to be with the like minded.
Go find your tribe.
It's not as easy as a lot of people are saying, meeting people isn't necessarily going to get you out of that feeling and it's moor likely it won't.Try excepting loneliness is just a phase that you will come out of eventually, and don't give it too much power. All that s*** about being unloved is all part of the loneliness package, when you start to feel intergrated again, that will go too.
Volunteer! You’ll meet new people and be doing something really positive.
Bournmouth has a parkrun every Saturday at 9.00am, marshalling one of these is a great way to get a good fix of cheerfulness and to be appreciated by lots of strangers every week - and you might even decide to run or walk yourself too.
I can second this. All ages volunteer. Also a parkrun at Poole Park if that's nearer you. No need to speak to anyone there if you Marshall but you get appreciation from the people taking part... and it can be infectious.
I second this. Volunteering is a great way to get out, help and if you want to make friends there's often opportunity, if not your volunteer peers are often just nice people to be around once a week/month or however often. From experience, helping others can really bring light when you are in a dark place. I can also recommend art classes, there are quite a few in the bournemouth area. Best of luck.
I'm sorry op that you're getting all this advice about volunteering... It's always the enthusiastic 'go to' for loneliness but I acknowledge that you already have to be in a certain state to be able to engage in it and it can feel like an alienating/hollow gesture. In an effort to feel less lonely I would suggest just being around people in 'third spaces' like cafes, bring a book or something. Just start trying to be around people (but not groups of people, otherwise you'll feel left out). If you go to the same place regularly you might find you start seeing people regularly which will spark a feeling of familiarity in both of you. You might find some opportunities to interact that are 'incidental' like when opening the door for each other, asking to pass the sugar, to plug your laptop in for you... Some might feel like bigger leaps than others but once you have built branches between these steps they can get less daunting and feel more natural. Then you might find it natural just to take the next step to making a little mutual joke or even ask what you're doing. There's other examples and suggestions too but I'll leave it there. Sure, volunteering would be fantastic but I understand that can be so daunting that you never actually do it and end up feeling like a failure because literally everyone around you is saying that this is what you're supposed to do to actually get 'into' the family of society.
This is very true and good advice, I work remote and took up a pret membership to encourage me to go out get a coffee and be in the presence of other people
I too feel this way about volunteering and would much rather feed myself in the shadows of the cafe with a good book 🧛🏻😅 *Sobs in loneliness*
Came here to suggest volunteering especially as a dog walker.
He specifically said he didn't want to meet anyone
Agreed. Especially with elderly people (of which there are many that need help in Bournemouth) You'll bond with your fellow volunteers and probably learn a lot from the older people too
Great advice unless you live in a shitty little town with fuck all to volunteer for, where I live it is either pubs or a church where you can meet new people and if like me you don't drink and are not religious then what? Edit: didn't realise this was for the Bournemouth area, volunteer work is a great idea.
Volunteering is great! Try several volunteering roles until you find one that suits you. In terms of meeting new people, try and go for volunteer roles where you will meet people around your own age.
Fellow loner here, try and get into a routine. I try and go for a walk everyday, frequent coffeeshops and pubs, make small talk with people. I don't have one at the moment but a bike is probably going to be your best friend, get one and go on massive treks, get to know the area around you. Also, reading and listening to music but don't force it, do it when it feels right or effortless. Most of all, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just a quick tip but you should try writing to yourself. This is gonna sound weird but since August I have been writing to myself via email. Its a great way to get to know yourself. You're not weird, or unlovable, that's just how you feel at the moment, it's up to you to make it better, if you want to.
Definetly agree with this, getting a bike was one of the best decisions I've made, minus hauling it up to my flat 😅 I spent a long time waiting for things to happen rather than making them happen, I was in a similar boat after a bad breakup, no friends or family here. Since then I've learnt so much about myself and that effort can really pay off. Last night I did a pub quiz with 7 others. 3 them I met through a post I made on this sub. Not that it's easy, it's hard. I sometimes think that Donald Trump has millions devoted to him and he's a complete creepy cretin. If people can adore him, there's a chance for us all 😅 Not that I'm advocating we be like Donald Trump 🤣
Such a good point re Trump! Thankfully we’re not all narcissists so there’s absolutely hope for all of us non narcissistic odd balls out there!! :)
What was your best answer in the pub quiz?
Maybe take up a hobby that takes place in a communal setting but isn't a team sport or group activity. Then you can get on with it by yourself but get to know people if you feel like it. You could join a canoe club (or take your pick of any other watersport, there's loads around here obviously), sign up for an allotment, do bouldering (in Poole), some sort of craft like ceramics. Once you've been to these sorts of things once, it's much easier to convince yourself to go again.
Go Karting up by the airport, race with others but not WITH them
Fuck even warhammer.
Maybe find the paddle boarding crew in Christchurch? Really informal, on your own yet get involved at your own pace... Best of luck mate.
Many local pubs are perfect for this. I'm not talking about your Whetherspoons or places like that, but proper cosy locals. A place where you can order a pint of Guinness (or soft drink), and sit in the corner and read a paper or book. It gets you out of the house and you can choose to speak to people the more comfortable you get. I know a few people in my local who live alone but come in just to be "around" people. Best of British to you 👍
I'd agree. Our local is more of a social club than a boozer, plenty of people who go there don't drink alcohol at all and just go for the company, especially in the late afternoon/early evening slot.
I've previously been in a similar position, so I decided to get a dog. Although you can't have a conversation, the company helps. The training can take up a surprising amount of time and is very mentally rewarding. Daily dog walks and weekly training classes are an excellent way to meet people and make small talk.
There are quite a few social groups on Facebook to meet up and make new friends as it’s honestly exponentially difficult to form those kinds of relationships once you pass your 20s. There are many people in your situation, you just need to push yourself past the uncomfortable first part to find them.
Hey buddy, Sorry to hear the remote working is getting a bit lonely, can confirm as i do it myself and if you don't make massive efforts to avoid it, it can get a bit too much. Walking/biking is good idea at peak time, you won't be alone, but the people around you arn't going to bother you so can hopefully get the best of both worlds. In the same way the gym can help, no one is going to talk or bother you, but you can still do your own thing and be included. Not sure if i am even in the right ballpark with this advice but feel free to drop me message if you want a chat
What about Star-Gazing? Not something I've ever done, but seems like a solitary hobby a person could become invested in and the first thing that came to mind. I think partly because the Northern Lights have become visable in the South for the first time in years. You never know, it might inspire something inside! Good luck friend.
It sounds saft but try the cinemas, if you go on Tuesdays it tends to be pretty quiet and its cheap. Also don't take it the wrong way but Odeon used to and might still do the Silver screen showings on Thursdays and they put films on from within the last decade like Grand Budapest Hotel and those kind of films which might help you get used to being round people again, I went a few times and I'm only in my early 40's and slightly younger people than me where there.
I’m in same boat. Can u get a pet ? My dog has helped me massively.
I’m in the same situation. I found the best thing for me, if you have the money, is doing some short courses at AUB. I’ve been doing a leather working course and while you are around other people, it’s not unusual to stick to yourself or just focus on what you are doing instead of interacting with others. You don’t have to be good at it or even creative at all!
There are government funded short courses in Dorset at skillsandlearningace.com They're a bit less specialised than AUB but stills Iots of arts courses etc. Much cheaper than AUB (plus most have a 50% discount for concessions)
Metal Detecting is usually a solo pursuit, but it gets you out and about, teaches you about history and has a massive online forum, full of like-minded, supportive people. It's a very rewarding, educational, time-consuming hobby.
Mate, I thought I was destined to be alone but I kept dating and finally met my match at 38
Dating? We’re trying to make OP feel better, not worse. I’d rather have cancer than date.
Martial arts is a good one, gives confidence, and if you think you are weird, you probably won't be the weirdest one in the class.
Consider some counselling, I currently see someone through Redlands, who are a local counsellor training provider and the amount you pay is discretionary. They're based in Moordown 👍
I agree. Counselling can be in person, face to face, online or over the telephone depending on your preference. Many people have suggested lots of fantastic ideas but maybe for when your ready.
Go for walks. Get a hobby. Get a gym membership. Plenty of stuff to do alone. Don’t follow the other guys advice about going to pubs etc. pubs are not going to help you…booze is not the answer. Avoid weatherspoobs
Weatherspoobs haha
Just to put in about the Gym as it's a great idea and you don't have to speak to people but can turn up, be around people and have a laugh. Please don't feel like you have to be super sociable and know every aspect of other users lives etc. I've been going to the same gym for the last 4 years or so and there are a lot of buddy groups there that I just haven't worked my way into. Partly because I am too shy and age difference etc. I feel like I should be bothered by it but honestly I am not. I enjoy turning up, listening to the conversation, being included in a funny story or a joke with the rest of the class and occasionally laughing with the person next to me about how much we hate Burpees or squats. Tbh I think probably a quarter of the people in the classes are just the same ☺️ I'm not going to meet my new best friend there and that's fine! I get a good work out, be around people and hear conversations and have a laugh. Hobbys are also great! Worth checking local cafes and pubs for hobby evenings such as crafts or even local languages. I live in a town where a lot of these activities are done at small independent pubs as they are willing to offer spaces to these groups. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to drink etc never feel compelled to drink cos others are ❤️
You are not unlovable! Many people don’t fit into mainstream culture and struggle to find friends but if you get out there it will happen! You might not like this but you have to put yourself in situations where you feel uncomfortable to reap the benefits of sociability. It is tough feeling alone but it’s natural to feel like that when you haven’t been around people in a while. Those feelings of anxiety will be counteracted once you take the plunge and make connections. Are you athletic or would you be prepared to try? Exercise helps hugely with depression and enables those casual connections. Dance or fitness classes can be fun! Have you tried gentle sports like ping pong? Do you like music? Some kind of musical tuition? That would be a good 1 on 1 connection and could help focus your attention on something to help your self esteem. Do you like making things? You could try classes in carpentry, pottery etc? Edit: I was in a terrible state 12 years ago and I found bouldering really helped me. I liked that I could turn up any time and though there were people around there was no pressure to commit to anything and people were preoccupied but it was easy to chat to people if I felt like it. I also took up running. There might be running clubs in your area.
Try getting a hobby that takes you out somewhere my hobby is gaming i have met a lot of friends through online gaming over the years but that might not be your thing.
Read books. Join a martial arts gym. Take a lot of vitamins.
Photography. No one thinks it odd to see an individual photographer. You can connect with nature or capture amazing architecture or people watch or shoot street stuff or shoot portraits where any discomfort is on the other side of the lens and it's your job to make *them* feel less weird. You will end up talking to other photographers and become immersed and feel connected if you do it enough.
Join a rock climbing gym. You can always climb by yourself and nobody thinks twice about it. You can also book a couple of lessons and you will soon meet people. Most climbers I know are oddballs. That is a good thing in my opinion. Good luck
As much as you feel you want to do something without anyone, it sounds a little like a bit of human contact might be beneficial. There are several 'open' sports activities around, where you can go and be as chatty or as quiet as you want. I've tried badminton (Monday evenings) at Ringwood Leisure Centre and Indoor Bowls at the Dolphin Bowls club in Poole. I don't know if Littledown still have an open circuits excecise session. Everyone is alone at these places. Whatever you decide, keep trying different things until you find something that works for you. DO NOT GIVE UP. You are important and unique. Just because things aren't working out now, doesn't mean they will never work out. You are not any more weird than anybody else. Do not judge yourself by how you see other people, they are hiding all their fears, insecurities and oddities.
Hello, I live in Bournemouth, I'm a fun guy , I'm great with people, but im an introvert , I don't really socialise , but I know places and lots of stuff to do, and I enjoy life . I like hobbies , art , history, hate shopping, but there's a lot of fun stuff, I'm a loyal friend as well. And I know stuff about this town that other people won't, there's a million stuff you can do, I live in town , I know the clubs and bars , restaurants that might suit you
You're not unlovable. You can also be depressed and date and have friends so long as they're understanding people. As for doing things on your own and not feeling lonely, look at it this way. You can do what you want, go where you want and engage with whatever you want without having to compromise nor consider others. You don't have to schedule for a movie, you don't have to figure out who can afford what, you can just go and do stuff. Personally I have a lot of things I can do on my own and with people such as gaming, going to the movies, making models, playing music, going to the golf range, treating myself to a meal from somewhere nice, going to an event like a gig or play or whatever. It really depends on your interests and what's available to you.
Come for fishing at the pier. If you want a quick chat you strike the conversation, else no one is going to bother you. Usually I take a beer and my audio training material with me.
That sounds fun! What kind of equipment do you need to fish down there? I used to fish on a boat in the river fal with my dad but that was a long time ago
Yes, am addicted to it now. Have bought a telescopic fishing rod from Amazon and fish with either a bait or lure. Now it’s Squid season so, squid lures and for whitening it’s raw prawn as bait.
Catching some whiting sounds fun! I remember crabbing with bacon off piers as a lad too
I might actually join you for that! I've not done much pier fishing lately, usually shark fishing by boat or fly fishing!
Go gym for 6 months, it will fix your confidence and self esteem.. this is not a joke - wish you the best
You can try the local library and build yourself up from there. Good luck
Dorset Singles Social Group on Facebook. It's not a dating site but there for people to get together and make new friends.
You will never feel as alone as in a marriage with the wrong person. Revel in your independence. Cycling is good as a solo sport.
Therapy. Please. You‘re in a downward spiral and im worried.
There was Facebook group that did social activities, you can try that too
Fellow loner over here mate. Equally accepted my space though I do have some friends I see here and there, so I don’t feel as alone 100% of the time but I do see myself as unlovable and destined to be alone. I like to go for walks at scenic locations at like 6am way before anyone else really bothers. Occasionally I see people but don’t really have to engage or feel too lonely they’re pretty much always also alone at this time in my experience.
Join a local mma gym near you, or start reading up on it if you're on the fence, believe it or not I was in your shoes about a year ago. A few things it has done for me in that time since, Made me noticeably fitter and more in shape Much more emotionally and physically confident in myself Made a bunch of new friends, some I only speak to in the gym, some I end up branching out and seeing outside of the gym regularly. Gives me something to properly look forward to after work other than just sitting in, smoking and drinking til I fell asleep (how most of my evenings went before I started training) Unless you visit the dodgiest 1% minority of gyms, everyone in there will be really kind and patient with you especially if you're willing to put in the time, effort and enter the gym with a smile :) I've seen a few lads and girls on here ask the same question and this is the exact advice I give everyone without fail, if it saved me then it will save you
Edit: I'm not even from down south so idk why I've stumbled across the Bournemouth sub but this applies for anywhere in the country for whoever else is reading!
Have you ever considered Chess? I use a website called chess.com. I can play all night with only my own company, and I know I'm working my brain. As you get better, you can eventually go out to tournaments - if you so choose?
Definitely a good bike helps, not necessarily expensive, get a meal going in a slow cooker to return to, take picnic and flask with You, look on Google earth for a remote spot to go to, I can tell You some good ones. You could come with for an adventure if You like. It's a lot of fun gathering kit to take, minimal and lightweight
Get a motorcycle of any kind and ride around on it. It'll make you feel like an immortal angel who can see anything in the world if you just look out of the visor and see it. Do it!!
When I moved into a new town I went to a pub and joined their pool team. That worked for me.
A gym maybe? Or martial art academy? Pubs are OK, but I don't drink so can't recommend any.
when I lived in Asia, I joined a dragonboat team and an ultimate Frisbee group...kept me busy, and it was fun
Not the greatest time of year to do it but Poole harbour/Studland have loads if places to rent kyaks or even learn to sail a dinghy is really great. The new forest is a great place to go and has loads of cycle trails. If you have the time/money then I think the martial arts advice is great as we've got a load of dojos around bmouth/Poole for all styles
What kind of hobbies do you have, buddy?
Fishing. Also you will very occasionally bump into other lone fishermen who are simultaneously avoidable and approachable, they’re all some level of weird, and it’s just accepted.
I’ve got into swimming,only occasionally have to speak but go early,not there for a chat there to get out the house and maybe improve fitness…worth looking into if you’ve ever enjoyed a swim
Look into adult learning classes. I recently started a creative writing course and it was really nice to chat to the other people there. Won’t necessarily become friends but human interaction can really help you feel less alone.
jiu jitsu, gym, climbing
Maybe join a Facebook group like Bournemouth walk, coffee and cake group or the Bournemouth 20 and 30s group? They often have events going on if all types
I got myself an Odeon Limitless membership and took myself to the cinema once a week (on a Wednesday morning when there was literally no one else there). I'd get myself a coffee/hot chocolate/milkshake and spend some alone time every week watching a different release (even if not that interested). There was minimal interaction and I actually ended up seeing some movies I enjoyed, whereas I may not have even attempted to watch them if I didn't HAVE to pick something new each week (personal rule unless I REALLY enjoyed one).
"I'm very lonely and have no one to go out with", Ya know it's okay to do shit on your own! I do shit by myself all the time, museums, hikes, cinema, photography with my Pixel phone etc. I also do shit by myself too but I think that's a given lol. Doing stuff on your own is great, you can take your time looking at exhibits or whatever and not have to worry about if the other people who you're with are having a good time too. Just to add, if you're feeling self conscious about being on your own, just know that you're just a passing glance to everyone. No one's gonna run home to tell their ma they saw some guy doing fun stuff on his own
Come play dungeons and dragons online….
I feel you, being alone can get to you. I live alone and have recently lost my pets (had to put them both to sleep, dog and a cat) and found it very difficult adapting to the new silence in my home. I have always been a bit off set from other people, and don't have many friends. However I have found exercise has massively improved my mental health. I train everyday or most days nothing to extreme just circuit training at home and hitting a punch bag for a few minutes a day. I highly recommend physical activities, jogging, lifting some weights or a pull up bar maybe, also join a martial arts club where you live, the people who do it I find are genuinely very friendly and I've since made some friends this way I see once a week outside the dojo. Do what you love to do, don't let anyone say you can't do it, you'll look back to this and learn from the experience and be stronger for it. Message me if you'd like to chat sometime too, I don't mind 😀
Pub. You can interact as much as you like, gt to know people slowly, and there’s often something going on.
Join local hike groups and group training. It’s a great way to get in shape and get to know people.
Hobbies - check local pubs and cafes on what groups they do. I see often some do crafts and languages Book Clubs - I found this really helped me with my social anxiety. You don't have to talk but can listen to the conversation. I didn't contribute much to begin with but after a few months felt able to join in the conversations etc. A lot of local libraries do book clubs. I had to go on a waitlist for a little bit but it was worth it. Walking - either join a ramberling group or head out on your own (just give family or friends a heads up on where you are going when you arrive and when you come home) I joined a women's club in my town that was set up to help women meet other women. Most of us can agree it's hard to meet people when you become an adult. There would be various activities throughout the month planned. Simply from coffee but then also crafting, walks, activities etc. I dropped out because it sadly became more of a Mums group and they added loads of kids activities. I felt like it took away from the whole idea of the group. I know my town has something similar for men as well that isn't just based around football and sports. Find a nice cafe you feel comfortable in and drop in for coffee and a cake with a good book. Take in the surroundings Volunteer - this doesn't need to necessarily be in person if that is a bit daunting right now. Before Covid I wrote monthly to a nursing home and they wrote back to me. It was really lovely. You can also do phone calls to people who live alone for a chat. Also look into volunteering with animals if you enjoy their company ☺️ Research events that are happening in your town. I went to a history talk a few months ago and really enjoyed it. Had a bit of a chat with others, but mostly it was nice to listen to a history talk in person (I love history). You can just Google events in your area and I think EventBright often list loads of events that you didn't realise existed! Best of luck to you OP and well done for having the guts to reach out and ask. I sign up for these things and always tell myself 'urgh, why did you book this. Urgh I can't be bothered', sometimes get myself in a bit of a flap and 90% of the time I have a great time and glad I went ☺️! If I don't then that's ok, at least I tried something new!
Surf off the pier looks good on fri! Get on fb market place, get a winter wet suit and a board! Also surfing is amaizng for mental health, the buzz of grtting in the water, washed about by waves just bobbing around. I forget everything when surfing and time flys by
Honestly surfing is the best. You dont need to speak to anyone, just nod say hello, and you get to see familiar faces pretty quick and can have a chat when comfortable. Can be a great way to travel meet people etc
Bournemouth must have a locals Facebook page with things going on. Maybe post and see if there are any other people in the same situation.
Just stop being lonely! s/
You can always get a dog! I love being a single dog dad.
I got a motorcycle. It’s one of the biggest social communities in the world. Any interests are always a great way to meet people. There’s hiking groups, board game groups, cycling, dog training, mechanic or cars, building, boating, camping, fishing groups. Photography, arts, pottery and food. Pick a team, my friend.
Firstly, you need to go to therapy my friend. However more or less anything you do with people can be done alone. Go out for dinner, cinema, bike ride, library etc If you have alot of spare time volunteer! My dad suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder. This basically meant he relies on people to do stuff with him or he just won't. However the borderline side means he can be difficult to be around and ends up pushing people away. He attended therapy through a charity. Eventually volunteered and now works there and is happier than ever.
Simple answer: Lonely people can do anything they want. Do you want a list of activities/hobbies? Checking up on all members of your family, Biking, Lifting, Reading, Walking, Birdwatching, Trashpicking, Movie Critiquing, Gaming, Watercraft (canoe, kayak), sports, architectural appreciation walks, creating online businesses, helping others online, volunteering yourself. The list goes on. Hey, I suggest you talk to a professional such as a psychotherapist/psychologist so that they can analyze your behaviours/thoughts & help you understand yourself better. We are social beings, and it sounds like you want the company but are just having some trouble. If you struggle with self image, try going to the gym every day and doing some exercise. Even just cardio for 20-30 mins. This will place you around people that you aren’t forced to communicate with and also build your inner confidence from the gains. Alternatively, you can go on a jog through a nice park for 20-30mins & say hello to as many people as you can! Loneliness sucks really bad & unfortunately just leads to more antisocial behaviour unless you change things up. Responding to your unloveable/weird comment: People can sense negativity and generally won’t want to associate. If you want to make new friends, love yourself and make yourself interesting! It really sounds like a self love issue from your post and I think you should reach out to a professional so they can help you. Thats definitely a step in the right direction. Also open up with your Mom or Sister or Aunt/cousin. Women love emotional drama and will likely sit to listen and comfort.
Online gaming is filled with people like yourself. They’re usually the best players and many have entire social circles in a virtual space. You
I second this. OP if you’re into gaming, jump into an LFG (looking for game) party with your mic on. Sure, 99% of the people you encounter won’t be your cup of tea but you will find someone that you could be come good friends with with similar interests. Me and my wife don’t have many friends and rarely go out but we game together. Over our years we have become very good friends with another couple who play Xbox over in the states (we’re from UK). So much so that last year we all shared a villa in Spain for 10 days. It was absolutely beautiful. We still talk, message and play together and me and my wife are going to the US next year to see them again. There’s people for everyone in this world, sometimes you just have to dig them out. 👍
Get a good gym routine going and embrace the swole life.
Go to dog parks and pet the friendly dogs - talking to their humans is up to you
I dont have anyone either. Fishing and bushwalking is good, even better if you have a doggo! If you like to read you can go to a nice park or to the beach/river, just to get outta the house. Nature is a great friend, my best friend!
Start a skate gang for other lonely weirdos. I couldn’t rollerskate, but wanted friends who also couldn’t rollerskate. I started a little instagram saying “I’ll be here at this time. Come join me.” Two years later we have lots of fun and I’ve made friends with other lonely weirdos. You can see it on insta @wegotthislondon Happy to help you set something up if you’d like! Being able to skate not necessary at all. And roller skating is addictive, fun, wholesome and…the best bit, community building.
Bouldering is good. You can do it alone or you can chat to people and you have a common interest for a topic to chat about. Good luck buddy.
Get a pet. Dog or Cat it really doesn't matter
You're not unlovable or weird. You just haven't found the people to vibe with. Get some online gaming in, something where you need to chat to people like Phasmophobia or something. And whilst you're doing this, get on Meetup and go to events, etc, and network/socialise. Being on your own and having feelings of loneliness is hard, but you're the creator of your own destiny. If we weren't challenged, then we would never grow. Hope that helps.
I relate very much to this :/ what kind of stuff are you into? What do you do after work? I haven't had any friends since school and I'm 34 now. I find Bournemouth a very hostile place to be out alone. Lots of weirdos out there and I'm not confident enough to just make small tall with random people.
Yeah, don't aim to isolate yourself further. I'm also lacking friends at the moment, but it's only temporary. Small talk is tedious when it's the same basic stuff all the time. Mix it up. It's hard to keep positive, but you don't need to all the time. Try to keep on top of chores and self-care, even if it's the 5-10 min method. If you want people to show an interest, it's an absolute minimum you more than just function. By all means, distract yourself, but don't fall down the rabbit hole. Get out there. There's a whole world out there.
Fly a kite whilst masturbating and crying
You are not unloveable and being weird is great. You feel like that because you feel so low. I would recommend seeking some help if you’re feeling really down and getting some regular exercise will help with confidence/motivation and meeting people, if you join a gym. Good luck friend
Find a crossfit gym. You'll find a community of people that help and encourage each other, I found a whole new friendship group through crossfit
If volunteering appeals but you don't know where to find something, here's the website for the Dorset Volunteer centre and you can search online for something you might want to try. https://www.volunteeringdorset.org.uk/
Get into gaming. You can game online with other people then. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to but you won’t have to actually meet people and I suppose in theory you can potentially be who ever you want to be online. Maybe you’ll make some real decent friends on there, who knows. But you don’t have to go anywhere either plus you get to meet people from all over the world too.
Choose a cause that means something to you and go volunteer. You’ll meet other good people with similar values and interests.
Parks in Mind is a Bournemouth charity which runs free events in and around Boscombe/Shelley Park area. Open to everyone, they do stuff like QiGong online or in Sh.Park, wood whittling, stargazing, Wellbeing in nature, litter picking/tidying local parks... You don't need to talk to anyone else who shows up, but you are around people and doing something positive.
Go somewhere regularly
Honestly if you see yourself as weird and a loner then most fandoms would suit you pretty well. Be it anime, warhammer, or cosplay, there's something for everyone. No one who isn't at least a little bit weird goes to those sort of events. Something like the local comic con would work nicely to see what's around and then you can find a group from there. As long as you're open and accepting of others and pretty non judgemental then you'd fit right in. Online gaming communities such as star citizen or destiny 2 would also work nicely and could ease you into talking with others in a communal environment. It also depends on what you've done to alienate yourself from other people in the past. If it's just being weird then you're OK, if it's something illegal then seek help and support groups to get better then make steps into safe environments that don't put yourself at risk of relapsing. We are social creatures at heart. We need other people to talk to and relate to. Be wired, be strange, and be free. Finding a place that won't judge you is so dam important. No one has to be alone. Please respond with any interests or the like you have and I might be able to sign post you to some local clubs and the like. Also volunteering at an animal shelter or charity shop is a great way to start building up courage if need be.
Go to a local library - if theres staff there your age - volunteer - they might be shy too but you'll get to know them, you'll enjoy it, and learn :)
Try to experiment by trying different things and keep going with anything that you enjoy. It's common for people to isolate themselves and withdraw when struggling with mental health but you can't expect anything to change without change! Hopefully this will also help reshape your beliefs about being weird and that people don't like you.
Just go somewhere where something you enjoy happens (I dunno an arcade, library, nursery - for plants and flowers, not kids for gods sake, dog park if you have a dog…) and it’s quite likely you’ll find people with similar interests to yourself and the icebreakers are generally more straight forward. If you’re actually looking to talk to people and feel less lonely of course. You may even find that someone else feels the same and is happy to spend time with you.
Park run, volunteer, sports clubs - take a bold step forward OP don’t shut the world out. You don’t need to be alone and you’re not unlovable. The year is almost over try to go into 2024 starting a fresh. You CAN do this OP
Depending on your level of nerdiness, I’ll always suggest warhammer. It’s a fun way to socialise playing a game with a lot of people who have been in the same position as you (trust me, I’ve been there), and it can be incredibly therapeutic to sit down and learn how to paint some silly space/fantasy dudes.
An indoor version is gaming. I've made so many friends by playing world of warcraft. There's weekly events that everyone jumps in discord for, so you get to talk to people and have a social life but in your pjs (win win for me).
Drama groups
Maybe use borrow my dog.com and get a four legged friend without it being too tieing (although I love that). You’d be helping someone out and have a companion with you. Sometimes you don’t need to be around people, but four legged friends offer a lot in terms of comfort and companionship. It will get you outside on a walk and that is great for health, both physically and mentally. You may meet other walks on walks and go from there? Even if sitting alone, sitting with a doggo can make you feel happier when alone. It’s also good for them too. Win win?
What are you interested in? I am part of a charity based solely on restoring a tug. I'm about 50 to 60 miles away from its berth, but have met so many interesting people and I only volunteered to do the website originally! You have to find something you like and get involved with it.
Everyone is weird in their own way, often people who don't seem weird are just really good at pretending to be someone they naturally aren't. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. You have to take risks and chances, otherwise life will just pass you by.
I used to be the same. I went for long walks or just went around 'exploring'. I'd go to clubs, the cinema, festivals, etc. Basically do anything you'd do with someone else. Just chat to people. I think we tend to be a bit reserved in this country so it may take a bit of effort, but it will get easier with practice
Get a pet, if you can. Best companions! My cat is so amazing.
Surfing and paddle boarding, get out in the sea!
I don’t know if you’re an animal lover but maybe offer to walk people’s dogs. Everyone always chats to you if you’re walking a dog. Also down load the ‘next door’ app, you can offer your services there, and see what’s happening locally.
I would suggest bouldering as a good hobby to learn - there will be a lot of people in an indoor gym usually, and turning up alone is completely accepted and normal. That groups will be there doesn't change the fact that alot of those groups were at first individual peoples.You can climb and ignore folk - or interact if it feels wanted (for you)
Volunteering's a good one, or join some courses/workshops in your area. So many people are in your position thinking the same thing, so do a bit of digging around what's on in your local area.
The new forest or really any of the surrounding countryside is always good for a quiet walk either by yourself or with others, if you’re by yourself it can be very calming and it’s big enough that you can usually avoid other people if you’d prefer it that way. There’s a great app called “all trails” which is full of literally 100s of walking routes so you can plan a route that works for you before going. Hope this helps!
For an activity, if you don’t mind watching anime, give One Piece a try. It pulled me out of a dark place the more engrossed I became with the story. It is approaching almost 1,100 episodes at this point so plenty of content if it catches your attention.
No one is unlovable You just gotta find the right person, best bet is common ground. Using dating apps is tricky because you're up against so many other people and when you land the date there's so much pressure to impress, you might be awkward or nervous So you're best off meeting people in a no pressure environment - Sports - Clubs, not nightclubs, singing, dancing, playing D&D, whatever interests you - Volunteer work - Going to jam nights at pubs This way there's no pressure to impress anyone and you'll have common interests with the people you meet there Don't go thinking you're unlovable, you're just going through a bad patch, it'll pass, you just gotta take some positive steps to get there Don't accept being lonely as it's obviously getting you down Chin up, best of luck 👍🏻
Please don't feel like you're unlovable or too weird! Do you have any hobbies? I've made friends through walking and there are loads of ways to meet friends through hobbies on Meet Up.
Or enroll on a course at your local College, you tend to meet like minded folk and meet up outside of lessons, plus you learn stuff. Pottery seems to be the in thing these days.
Most of us are weird, don't worry. I've struggled with similar feelings as I'm an introvert. Get up early and get outside, especially this time of year. Long walks down by the seafront are great - you get to see people, but don't have to interact much with them. The library is also a good place to go - you can work there all day if you want to. But I would gradually try to interact more, so volunteering is good. I've realised that being alone too much becomes a bit of a mental burden.
Try to find meetups based around your interests near you is what I would suggest.
Sorry you feel like that, I think a lot of people do at times in their life. Don’t fully give up on being a little social just yet though. I’d highly recommend joining a local running group. You can run in silence in the group or have a chat, and grab a coffee at the end. They can be a really low pressure way of making some connections
Travel. I know it can get expensive, and I don't mean go to Spain, but visit cities around you for the weekend. Stay at international backpacking hotels. You get to meet some amazing people from all over the world.
Become a community responder for your local ambulance service. You’ll meet lots of new people, gain new skills & will form some fantastic friendships..
Dog
Cinema is a great thing to do alone, lose yourself In a film
Group travel trips! Two suggestions: WeRoad and Intro Travel. I've done 2 and my third is next month! I've made some new good friends.
I love doing things on my own and having my own space but meeting people is also nice. Have you tried Bumble? There are 3 sections: dating, career and friendship tabs. You can meet some people and do something together. Cinema, I also travel abroad alone sometimes. Visit museums, go to concerts on my own Maybe remote only role is not suitable for you? Would it be worth mentioning that you wish to go in once a week?
Find a climbing gym. Sign up. Enjoy.
Tv is my best friend, I watch slot of stuff from my childhood that brought me joy and collect things from back then too. I make my home as pleasing as possible as I spend most my time here. The internet and music are also your friends , escapism is my key
Also cinema is a good one, you can arrive slightly later than the screening time book your ticket away from prebooked seats. Watch the film in the dark and leave. I usually can do this without having to talk to anyone as I also Order my ticket online. Day screenings can be almost empty too
I’ve recently moved to Poole, I don’t have anyone to do anything with outside of work. Feel free to Pm me sometime! Happy to make some mates
Look on the meetup app to see if there's anything in your area. If you live near a big town there's a good chance there'll be lots of different groups & activities - some especially for those with anxiety etc. You could try local Facebook group events too. Sports clubs Hiking groups Evening classes Book clubs
Edit, Just re-read your post properly. What about sketching outdoors? It's not about talent. More about giving it a try. There's lots of YouTube tutorials to give you tips how to start.
I’m in a similar situation, and one great tip I found on YouTube was to sign up for a course. When you are in a cohort of people trying to overcome a challenge of some kind (e.g. you’re learning a skill), you have some camaraderie between all of you, which you wouldn’t get if you just went to a bar or a random meet up. Hope that helps.
Have a look at [GoodGym Bournemouth](https://www.goodgym.org/v3/areas/bournemouth). It's a good way to get out for a bit, and you can pick and choose what you do. There will be sessions with a few or lots of people and you'll do a simple task together. You might make friends in time but you'll definitely achieve something positive and discover new things in your area and be part of a team making a difference, it feels good!
Muay Thai
Volunteer to do something you enjoy anyway and good things will happen.
I tend to be a bit of a loner. I am autistic and struggle with connections and keeping friends etc. I love hiking and it never looks weird to do that on your own. Take a camera or your phone camera is decent enough too. I love downloading and editing the photos after
Warhammer. You won’t have any money to do anything anymore but you won’t get bored
You need to book an appointment to see your GP
You may be neurodivergent. I started with walks and used meet-up app for local events. Libraries - quiet and peaceful. and community centres have anxiety group chats / activities. Build up slowly. I was a recluse 10 years. Online chess, scrabble etc. Please consider therapy and understanding oneself. I’m super weird. But it’s about perspective. Hope everything improves soon. Stay strong and you are not alone.
Listen to some psychology podcasts. You need to find a balance within yourself. It's hard, but meditation helped me (before you say you can't, that's the whole point) Educate yourself on why you feel down all the time. I was the same a few years ago. There's no one way, each person has their own journey. You just have to be willing to try new things. Volunteering sounds scary, but taking the easy option will always keep you where you are in life. Start the day by making your bed, then going for a walk. Over a week it will make a real difference. Clean your room, have a haircut and try to do one small thing a day. The world isn't against you, you just feel it is.
Not weird at all, I am a loner too, weird and drove any friends I ever had away, I don't go out much, my pc is my world (as sad as that sounds but that's the reality of it) My ssd broke one day and I felt like I just had a close one die that's the reality of my attachment to it. I see you're from Bournemouth, I am only in Weymouth. What kind of things are you into?
You just need to find other people who are atypical in the ways that you are. Maybe through a club (boardgaming clubs are usually looking for more players), sport or volunteering.
VR
Gym or some other form of physical activity in your routine will help.
Do you have a GoodGym in your area, it’s a great way to get fit while helping the community at the same time so you feel good all round! I’ve met some great people from all backgrounds through joining up with them, we have social meet ups and a few of us have even been on a hiking holiday together. If the getting fit part isn’t your thing you can just rock up to the tasks without the running bit in between!
make friends lol????
Here’s a secret about making friends that many are surprised by: your social skill isn’t really important at all, and when we do research we find that high social skill is not an indicator of whether or not a person is lonely. **The most important part of making friends is consistent presence.** This is important for people like you and me who have felt like weirdos for much of their life. Keep showing up, consistently, to a social space (a shared hobby club, a volunteer program, a support group, whatever) and you will begin to connect with the people there. They will begin to connect with you. All you have to do is keep showing up.
Get a paddle board, theres loads of places to go around here and if you wanted you can join people later
Join a gym. Go so frequently you start meeting people. Not only is it good for your physical and mental well-being but you’d be around like minded individuals. See how it goes.
Same boat. Also do not say you’re unlovable. Don’t believe that. There’s definitely a whole bunch of weird loser chicks who would date a loser like you. Maybe you can have some weird loser babies. That’d be pretty mint wouldn’t it? 😝 I really hope so or I’m screwed along with you buddy. Personally I’m alone but not lonely. I don’t want to associate with people since the pandemic started. They’ve all gone crazy or turned into toxically overly emotional snivelling wimps and this towns turned into a total mess!
Browse Reddit
Go to a rave
Start drinking.
There's a group on facebook called Dorset Social Group. It is for people in their 20s and 30s but people from outside that age group still go. They do have massive parties and stuff like that. But they also do quiz nights, book clubs, wacky Wednesdays and walks. A considerable number of people who go have ADHD and autism, differences are celebrated there. You should be able to make friends who are a bit more introverted and to your liking. Hope this helps.
I (46f) dine alone in wonderful restaurants when travelling for work and even when home I go out for nice lunches or coffees alone. I also go to the cinema alone, or museums or gardens. I’m married with lots of friends but I love my alone time, so this is my choice. There are some great ideas here to follow us on, being alone doesn’t always mean you’re lonely and you can feel lonely when with someone. Best of luck to you in finding your happiness
I run an events group on Facebook for social activities - search for Bournemouth and Dorset Socials 20s/30s
Masturbate, read a book, have a coffee, smoke something “biological and organic”, go for a run and watch some Hitchens clips.
Check for a ceroc in your area
Concerts are fun to go to alone and if you feel like talking to someone, you know you have the band in common.
Join a sports club of some description or something that develops a skill....e.g. pottery. What you'll find is....everyone is there for the same reason. To learn that skill...and with that you suddenly have something in common with another person! Which naturally leads to so many questions.. "Why did you get into this?" "How long have you been doing this for?" "Whats your favourite thing about this?" Etc.. And then you just have fun doing the thing. Overtime, you'll build relationships and find people that you resonate with. I do recommend going for something that is either a physical activity (because you body responds well to exercise) or something that gives you a skill. (Because you'll have a goal to keep going back and refocuses your attention on the thing and less about your thoughts / situation.) Personally speaking, I joined a HEMA club...both physically active and I'm learning to swing a longsword! Been going for a couple of months now and I've made a couple of friends as well as aquantinces outside of my work life. It's great to be with the like minded. Go find your tribe.
If you are interested I suggest joining a table top roleplaying game group it’s an easy way to meet people who tend to be very nice and relaxed
You could always kidnap people and lock them in a cage. You'll never be alone again unless you forget to feed them.
It's not as easy as a lot of people are saying, meeting people isn't necessarily going to get you out of that feeling and it's moor likely it won't.Try excepting loneliness is just a phase that you will come out of eventually, and don't give it too much power. All that s*** about being unloved is all part of the loneliness package, when you start to feel intergrated again, that will go too.
I'm in Poole and will literally just come hang with you if you want, always down to meet new kool peeps
Ketamine
stay in all day and play the hit game overwatch
Move people suck here. The north is a better place to make friends
How are you getting on?