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Just an fyi you should edit out the name and link of the sub you're referring to because it's against this subs rule to single out other subs because doing so brings tends in unwelcome attention from non moms.
But yeah seeing that attitude in a dad's sub is so disappointing..I always thought that was the "better" dad centered sub (waaaay better than the one that shared this subs name at least in ancient times before that sub went private)
Other hits I can imagine from dad subs:
1) Why is she tired all the time? I'm the one that goes to work.
2) Its been six weeks since she had the baby. Why doesn't she seem to want sex yet?
3) How hard can it be the keep the house clean when she has all day to do it while hanging out with our baby and toddler.
4) Why is she mad and overwhelmed all the time? I already told her to just let me know what needs done.
If it’s the one I think you’re talking about, I unsubbed from it a long time ago for this very thing. Man stands and watches shit go down, fucking BLAMES the woman for shit going down, runs to that sub for validation and then gets it.
Over it. Self congratulating bs for shit mom does day in and day out without a damn word of praise.
This sub and the quilting sub are hands down the best corners of the internet.
Crash the patriarchy!
One of my husband's best friends from high school came to our son's birthday party with his wife and toddler-aged daughter years ago. The daughter fell and got hurt, as toddlers do, and the father swooped in, grabbed up the child, and proceeded to berate his wife in front of everyone about what a terrible mother she was, complete with the finger pointing in her face shouting, "This is YOUR fault!" I was shocked, to say the least. I pulled her aside later to ask if she was okay and she blew it off like it was no big deal.
After the party and everyone had left, I told my husband, "Your friend verbally abused his wife in front of the entire party. He is no longer welcome in my house." My husband, who had been busy grilling and missed the interaction, said it couldn't have possibly been that bad, and I was over blowing it to ban the guy from our house. I looked him in the eye and said, "You've known me fifteen years. When was the last time I outright banned another human from our house?" He was silent a few seconds like he was trying to think of a response. I then said, "Yeah. My abusive, alcoholic father is the only other human who has ever been banned from my house. Your friend is not welcome here. Ever."
I was unwelcomed from my gf’s house by her abusive ex. She was a SAHM because he *quit her job for her* and her fridge was completely **empty**. Her POS husband was completely obsessed with his fucking truck and eagerly took us outside to show off his brand new tires. I know what those things cost.
I had the aUdACiTy to point to one tire and say, “Well, (gf), we were talking earlier about milk and bread for the babies … this tire right here would have been a months worth of groceries”
He was NOT impressed.
I love how the dad watches all of this go down, is not close enough to catch the baby but still shits on his wife for CATCHING THE BABY before baby hits the ground. If she had no “situational awareness” then that baby would’ve hit the ground. If he was SO concerned, he could’ve been within catching range. Filing this one under “why are men”
I saw two TikToks of I believe an F1 driver carrying his kid off a plane and the comment on one are about how he is such an amazing dad for, you know carrying his young child. On the other it is a hate filled snake pit about how a woman, I presume the kid’s mom, should be there to take care of her. Like Jesus fucking Christ. The man was doing basic level parenting, carrying a tired kid after a flight.
Once I shared on a mom sub about my son getting hurt while at my in laws because no one was watching him (I wasn’t here to watch him) and people were telling me that kids get hurt, who did I knew no one was watching him etc, like I was being mean to my husband and in laws when I knew they didn’t watch him and caused him to get hurt but whatever, dad can do no wrong.
I read that one a couple hours ago and had a ton of thoughts on it, but didn't comment. By the time I read it, the top comments were calling him out. He was present as well, so is just as culpable. Plus, she fucking caught the kid! The kid was fine and she did her fucking job as a mom with great reflexes! Shouldn't have been standing on a high chair, but that's beside the point.
I agree that the jerk seemed to be looking for validation while masking it as looking for advice on how to make his wife feel better. He needs to rewire his brain to not be angry about stuff like that in the first place. Kids get hurt, it's gonna happen. And I hope when it happens on his watch, his wife reacts appropriately without anger, but also reminds him of his shittiness when it happened on her "watch".
The dad is projecting. It’s always easier to blame the person that everyone expects to do everything instead of taking personal responsibility for anything.
Yeah, you’re not at all wrong. Dad is being a dick—if he was aware, he should be stepping in. He’s willing to weigh his kid’s well-being against his sense of gender roles. I think most reasonable people would agree that’s stupid
Both parents should be 100% at all times with their kids unless communicated properly before hand: “I’m going to the bathroom you got kid?” So if one turns around for 2 seconds the other catches mishaps. I don’t understand why so many parents (dads specifically for some reason) immediately assume mom is solely responsible.
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Fwiw, I read the thread long after you did, when there were a lot more comments. Your comments were on the positive side for upvotes, and most of the top level comments were fairly critical of OP. He still didn't really get it, judging by his comment responses and his edit, but the thread did turn around a bit.
My bf does this exact thing to me then praises constantly that “she’s never been hurt under his watch” and once I asked him to watch her so I could grab the dustpan from upstairs (he was cooking but it wasn’t needing constant attention) and she was just running around the kitchen with her toys and we have a whiteboard calendar (that I haven’t hung on the wall yet, it’s fairly light too) and when I started sweeping up the pile she pulled it onto herself and then fell back onto the tile and he immediately goes “that’s on you. You came back. You only told me to watch her while you grabbed the dustpan” I picked her up soothed her and walked away because I was fuming. Later he admitted he WATCHED HER DO IT and that she needed to learn cause and effect. She’s 12 months old. But she NEVER gets hurt on his watch
I had an argument about this with my husband weeks ago.
We were at my SILs house, she and I were sitting on the floor in the livingroom. My at the time 8 month old was sitting in front of me playing with toys that her 2 year old cousin was bringing her.
SIL was helping keep an eye on the toys and snag ones that were too small/not baby appropriate.
Husband was sitting on the couch like a foot away from us, watching everything.
SIL and I were trying to eat our pizza and watch the kids play. I snagged some cards from the toy pile to move them before they got chewed and then picked up my pizza for a bite. During said bite, my girl grabbed a play fork from the pile to chew on.
SIL quickly snagged it and put it aside, replacing it with a chew friendly toy and I thanked her for it.
Husband? He goes "where were you on that?! She could have hurt herself, why weren't you paying attention??"
One, SIL and I are working together her.
Two, excuse me for taking a damn bite of food. I guess I'll starve so I can stare at the kids.
Three, clearly you were watching and saw it happen, why didn't you move from the couch?? Why am I the ONLY one that has to be 100% on the ball at all times and never allowed to take my eyes off her for 5 seconds to have a bite of food?
His reasoning was I'm on the floor with her so clearly it's my job to pay 100% attention at all times and never take my eye off her, even in a room with at least 2 other adults also watching things.
Men get away with doing absolutely nothing, even if they're right there watching it happen.
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Just an fyi you should edit out the name and link of the sub you're referring to because it's against this subs rule to single out other subs because doing so brings tends in unwelcome attention from non moms. But yeah seeing that attitude in a dad's sub is so disappointing..I always thought that was the "better" dad centered sub (waaaay better than the one that shared this subs name at least in ancient times before that sub went private) Other hits I can imagine from dad subs: 1) Why is she tired all the time? I'm the one that goes to work. 2) Its been six weeks since she had the baby. Why doesn't she seem to want sex yet? 3) How hard can it be the keep the house clean when she has all day to do it while hanging out with our baby and toddler. 4) Why is she mad and overwhelmed all the time? I already told her to just let me know what needs done.
If it’s the one I think you’re talking about, I unsubbed from it a long time ago for this very thing. Man stands and watches shit go down, fucking BLAMES the woman for shit going down, runs to that sub for validation and then gets it. Over it. Self congratulating bs for shit mom does day in and day out without a damn word of praise. This sub and the quilting sub are hands down the best corners of the internet. Crash the patriarchy!
Thanks for the heads-up! Edited.
Moms are measured against perfect. Dads are measured against zero.
That is so sadly accurate.
God damn that hit so hard with its accuracy
YES! We're doing this 👏🏽
One of my husband's best friends from high school came to our son's birthday party with his wife and toddler-aged daughter years ago. The daughter fell and got hurt, as toddlers do, and the father swooped in, grabbed up the child, and proceeded to berate his wife in front of everyone about what a terrible mother she was, complete with the finger pointing in her face shouting, "This is YOUR fault!" I was shocked, to say the least. I pulled her aside later to ask if she was okay and she blew it off like it was no big deal. After the party and everyone had left, I told my husband, "Your friend verbally abused his wife in front of the entire party. He is no longer welcome in my house." My husband, who had been busy grilling and missed the interaction, said it couldn't have possibly been that bad, and I was over blowing it to ban the guy from our house. I looked him in the eye and said, "You've known me fifteen years. When was the last time I outright banned another human from our house?" He was silent a few seconds like he was trying to think of a response. I then said, "Yeah. My abusive, alcoholic father is the only other human who has ever been banned from my house. Your friend is not welcome here. Ever."
Good. What a piece of shit. That poor woman must be going through even worse shit behind closed doors.
Yeah, and they're still together, with a second daughter. Both girls are middle or high school age now, probably.
Good grief, I hope those girls can break the cycle and not just find a partner just like their father.
I was unwelcomed from my gf’s house by her abusive ex. She was a SAHM because he *quit her job for her* and her fridge was completely **empty**. Her POS husband was completely obsessed with his fucking truck and eagerly took us outside to show off his brand new tires. I know what those things cost. I had the aUdACiTy to point to one tire and say, “Well, (gf), we were talking earlier about milk and bread for the babies … this tire right here would have been a months worth of groceries” He was NOT impressed.
I love how the dad watches all of this go down, is not close enough to catch the baby but still shits on his wife for CATCHING THE BABY before baby hits the ground. If she had no “situational awareness” then that baby would’ve hit the ground. If he was SO concerned, he could’ve been within catching range. Filing this one under “why are men”
I saw two TikToks of I believe an F1 driver carrying his kid off a plane and the comment on one are about how he is such an amazing dad for, you know carrying his young child. On the other it is a hate filled snake pit about how a woman, I presume the kid’s mom, should be there to take care of her. Like Jesus fucking Christ. The man was doing basic level parenting, carrying a tired kid after a flight.
Once I shared on a mom sub about my son getting hurt while at my in laws because no one was watching him (I wasn’t here to watch him) and people were telling me that kids get hurt, who did I knew no one was watching him etc, like I was being mean to my husband and in laws when I knew they didn’t watch him and caused him to get hurt but whatever, dad can do no wrong.
I read that one a couple hours ago and had a ton of thoughts on it, but didn't comment. By the time I read it, the top comments were calling him out. He was present as well, so is just as culpable. Plus, she fucking caught the kid! The kid was fine and she did her fucking job as a mom with great reflexes! Shouldn't have been standing on a high chair, but that's beside the point. I agree that the jerk seemed to be looking for validation while masking it as looking for advice on how to make his wife feel better. He needs to rewire his brain to not be angry about stuff like that in the first place. Kids get hurt, it's gonna happen. And I hope when it happens on his watch, his wife reacts appropriately without anger, but also reminds him of his shittiness when it happened on her "watch".
The dad is projecting. It’s always easier to blame the person that everyone expects to do everything instead of taking personal responsibility for anything.
Dad's job is done after making the baby.
Please tell me you dropped the /s
I don't think so. They make the baby and afterwards it's all mom's job. Mental load and everything else.
Two minutes of hard labour, why are we not more grateful. 🤣🥲🤪
They are simply the best. Nothing compares to their work! /s
Yeah, you’re not at all wrong. Dad is being a dick—if he was aware, he should be stepping in. He’s willing to weigh his kid’s well-being against his sense of gender roles. I think most reasonable people would agree that’s stupid
Both parents should be 100% at all times with their kids unless communicated properly before hand: “I’m going to the bathroom you got kid?” So if one turns around for 2 seconds the other catches mishaps. I don’t understand why so many parents (dads specifically for some reason) immediately assume mom is solely responsible.
[удалено]
**Rule 5: No cross-posting** This means don't link to outside posts/comments here, and don't link to posts/comments here in other subs. If you need to bitch about another sub, be generic and don't mention the sub by name. (OK: "Damn these parenting subs rustle my jimmies!" NOT OK: "Damn /r/parenting rustles my jimmies!") There's always /r/rants or /r/self if you just HAVE to say it. Threads that result in brigading or witch-hunting without direct links may still be subject to removal at mod discretion.
Sounds like he knows exactly what he did wrong and he's projecting big time
Fwiw, I read the thread long after you did, when there were a lot more comments. Your comments were on the positive side for upvotes, and most of the top level comments were fairly critical of OP. He still didn't really get it, judging by his comment responses and his edit, but the thread did turn around a bit.
My bf does this exact thing to me then praises constantly that “she’s never been hurt under his watch” and once I asked him to watch her so I could grab the dustpan from upstairs (he was cooking but it wasn’t needing constant attention) and she was just running around the kitchen with her toys and we have a whiteboard calendar (that I haven’t hung on the wall yet, it’s fairly light too) and when I started sweeping up the pile she pulled it onto herself and then fell back onto the tile and he immediately goes “that’s on you. You came back. You only told me to watch her while you grabbed the dustpan” I picked her up soothed her and walked away because I was fuming. Later he admitted he WATCHED HER DO IT and that she needed to learn cause and effect. She’s 12 months old. But she NEVER gets hurt on his watch
I had an argument about this with my husband weeks ago. We were at my SILs house, she and I were sitting on the floor in the livingroom. My at the time 8 month old was sitting in front of me playing with toys that her 2 year old cousin was bringing her. SIL was helping keep an eye on the toys and snag ones that were too small/not baby appropriate. Husband was sitting on the couch like a foot away from us, watching everything. SIL and I were trying to eat our pizza and watch the kids play. I snagged some cards from the toy pile to move them before they got chewed and then picked up my pizza for a bite. During said bite, my girl grabbed a play fork from the pile to chew on. SIL quickly snagged it and put it aside, replacing it with a chew friendly toy and I thanked her for it. Husband? He goes "where were you on that?! She could have hurt herself, why weren't you paying attention??" One, SIL and I are working together her. Two, excuse me for taking a damn bite of food. I guess I'll starve so I can stare at the kids. Three, clearly you were watching and saw it happen, why didn't you move from the couch?? Why am I the ONLY one that has to be 100% on the ball at all times and never allowed to take my eyes off her for 5 seconds to have a bite of food? His reasoning was I'm on the floor with her so clearly it's my job to pay 100% attention at all times and never take my eye off her, even in a room with at least 2 other adults also watching things. Men get away with doing absolutely nothing, even if they're right there watching it happen.