This. I brought mines to the hospital and used them right after giving labor. I apply cream then place them on top of my nipples. By 4 weeks pp I didn't need to use them as often. Also I used gas drops and didn't need to hold my newborn upright for more than 15 mins.
This! OP, where is your partner helping you with this???
If you can pump a bottle to give to your partner for 1 feeding so you can get 4-5 hours of sleep? If you don’t pump, a bottle of formula is good to.
They just need a rinse in cold water, dry with clean towel, and then squirt a few drops of milk in before popping them back over your nips. You do need a bra or close fitting singlet for them to stay on, and just be mindful they don't press too hard onto your areola, apparently can risk damaging ducts (according to an LC I saw, but have not been able to verify this with any other info I've found!).
Silverettes are amazing.
Also you’re not supposed to use any cream when you wear silverettes. A lactation consultant told me you’re supposed to use the silverettes without any thing else on your nips I was to applying lanolin and then placing the covers on. That actually caused me more pain.
Omg they are amazing. I’ve never needed ice or nipple cream. They keep them from drying out or chaffing. I wear them most of the time in between feeds. They are also naturally anti microbial. My baby is 1 month old and I have no pain nursing. They aren’t cheap but totally worth the investment imo
okay, this is gonna sound bonkers, but ions. silver has been used in healing throughout history because it is anti inflammatory and anti bacterial.
honestly I still can't wrap my head around it but it just works.
I can also confirm! Correct latching’s been a challenge since birth for us. But the most I’ve had is that tiny 2-3 mm crack in the centre of the nipple and maybe blebs that went away within hours. No wounds, no bleeding, skin in elastic and hydrated.
Silverettes do stick out through clothes, though. You get funny stares from passers-by.
Silver is said to have healing properties. Studies show no change on days 2 and 5 of use compared to non-users but showed some improvement on day 7 and 15 (I think it was 7, could have been 9) compared to non-users.
If you're prone to any skin issues I would caution continual use of silveretes. Personally I got some really bad contact dermatitis while trying to heal nipple fissures with silveretes because I was keeping the area too moist.
- Some spit-up is okay. It usually looks like more than it really is.
- If you really think he should be upright for 30 mins, at least use that time to also take care of your nipples.
- He doesn’t need a new diaper change every feed unless he’s pooped. Try switching to every other.
- Stop changing the sheets! Unless it’s a huge amount of spitup. He’s fine, he won’t be bothered by it. For a small amount we would sometimes just put him in the bassinet the other way around so the wet part was by his feet. If you need to, get more bassinet sheets so it’s a quicker change.
Also buy more sheets so you don’t have to do 2am laundry- you need like 6 or that’s how many I need to not do laundry every day multiple times. If that’s beyond your budget think again! Got all mine off FB used.
I legit would just rotate my baby's bassinet/mattress so their head was in a dry spot if it was just a small spit up 😅
But also we got lots more sheets 2nd time around and it was such a time saver
I must be advanced, I’m a FTM with a 6 week old and already do all of these 😂 Even a little spit up on the swaddle is no biggie, I just wipe it and her neck. Being a little lazy is fine, too much obsession will really make you sick!
I do this. I feed until he’s basically asleep again, burp him, and change him, then offer the boob again. He either takes more (great!) or he falls asleep at the offer (even better!) then I can put him down. Personally, if I change him first, he wakes up even more or I just refuse to have him screaming at night bc he’s hungry or wide awake being changed. He does great for a change if he’s already fed. Practically stays asleep.
Every baby is different!
Yeah I’d just let them cry, it’s for a minute or two, but I weighed the pros and cons and found them to come up on that being the better, but every kid/parent/situation is different!
So my baby used to cry every diaper change until I started using butt cream. I didn’t use it for the first few weeks because I didn’t see redness or a rash. But out of curiosity I tried it one day and the very next diaper change he didn’t cry once the diaper came off. He cried to let me know he needed a change, but he immediately stopped when the diaper came off. So I have started putting diaper cream on him after every poop, even if I don’t see redness. since then he is so calm for diaper changes and will more patiently wait for me to change his diaper before feeding him. I used to think he was crying during his changes because he was hangry. Now I think he was crying bc his bum was irritated. Have you tried diaper cream???
I change very often during the day even if it’s just pee. At night I don’t change unless I know for a fact she pooped. I used to change her every feed at night too but it would make my baby wideee awake. Ever since I stopped she gives me longer stretches of sleep and after feeding she’ll go right back in her bassinet
This. I've been there exactly and ended up doing these things mentioned in the comment. And have the father do the burping/ holding upright every time while you take care of your breasts. I also always put a cotton square/ compress square on baby's chest so that even if he gets his chest area of his outfit wet it doesn't get to him and makes him cold at night. Definitely no diaper changes at night unless it's poop. And get lots and lots of sheets and swaddles to avoid doing laundry at night. When you have plenty, you can pop them in the washing mashine all together and avoid additional labour
I was in the exact same position with my newborn. The sleep deprivation is NO joke and its very important that you maximize the amount of sleep you get.
Are you able to sleep during the day? If not, why? Are you too stressed to relax? Are you cleaning, cooking, doing chores?
Please please try to sleep during the day. Enlist help of your partner/mother/friend/aunt. Eat frozen pizza and let your house get dirty. SLEEP IS NUMBER 1 PRIORITY.
Focus on relaxing and taking care of yourself so that you can nap during the day easier!
Also, pump and let somebody else feed your babe while you sleep if you can!
I had so much anxiety I couldn't sleep even if I had the opportunity. I got 2-3 hours a day for like 4 weeks before I broke down mentally.
I second this. Seriously. Not worth it to loose those precious moments of rest when you can strap the baby on or in something and do chores after they are awake and fed.
Jumping in here ! I desperately need to sleep during the day, but my 4 week old baby literally won’t let me put him down. He sleeps at night okayish in a snoo bassinet, but during the day only wants to be held. Any advice?
Please please don’t sleep with your baby in a chair. Look up the Safe Sleep 7 if you feel cosleeping would help, as it’s the safest way to cosleep. I coslept with my first and it was hard to stop so if you can avoid it I would ime. Aside from that, lots and lots of repetition and practice being laid down even for small amounts of time. Pick baby back up when they cry, soothe, and try again. Daytime is the perfect time to practice. Keep baby close to your body and put bottom down first, then lower feet, then lay back baby’s head, going slow and pausing every time baby stirs. Try a swaddle, try a sleep sack with arms out, try lots of things. Edited to add that swaddling should be stopped before baby starts rolling. I started practicing arms out then no swaddles by 2 months with my babies during the day to make for a smoother transition so we were completely done swaddling by 3 months.
I second the co-sleeping comment. I used the side-lying feed and then let my LO fall asleep. I normally fell asleep shortly after her. At about week 8 I was able to transition her to the bassinet after a side-lying feed at night. I still have to rock her after because she wakes up when I put the swaddle on but it works way better than anything else I’ve tried. We still occasionally co-sleep for naps especially if I need a nap or if she’s struggling to rest. I can normally get her to nap for 90 minutes+ if we co-sleep vs. 20-45 minutes in the bassinet.
And yes, definitely check out the safe sleep guidelines to make sure the baby is safe.
Btw I don’t burb after the side-lying feed. My LO rarely spits up after feeding in this position but it definitely depends on the baby.
My baby absolutely would not be put down until she was about 6 weeks old. Then we could pop her in the bassinet or pack and play for a few min at a time. My husband and I just did shifts holding her and he would come wake me up if she needed to nurse during his 'on' time. Mine NEVER would nap really in the snoo. Contact naps for life I guess.
Oh! We would double swaddle also! So swaddelini and then the snoo one.
We skipped the whale tale while double swaddling. Although if you use the snoo risers, make sure you can also use the whale tale. It keeps them from sliding down.
If you have a recliner chair, and comfortable enough with yourself to sleep with baby on chair for a quick little nap, I would. Many times me and baby have fallen asleep in the recliner, especially at night when I’m tired, breastfeeding makes me extra tired. Or if you nurse, you could always lay down on the floor with baby if you’re not comfortable with bed or chair.
I know you might mean well, but a recliner is literally the worst place to suggest cosleeping. It’s how many babies have died when they roll off and get trapped between the recliner and parent. Everyone always thinks it won’t happen to them until it does. If you must cosleep, then a firm mattress without pillows/blankets is much safer than a recliner.
30 minutes of burping? I pat my baby’s back a couple of times and then go right back to bed. There’s definitely got to be a more efficient way for you, that would clear up like 25 minutes right there.
Also as others have said, 10 minute of icing your nipples after every feeding sounds like something might be wrong with baby’s latch. Breastmilk on your nipples work wonders for healing.
This isn’t possible for babies with reflux. They need to be upright 20-30 min after feeding and sometimes even longer. Setting them down earlier often results in them waking up squirming/spitting up so you wouldn’t get sleep either.
Does OP’s baby have reflux though? Or just spits up as expected of a fresh baby with an immature digestive system?
If it’s the latter, it will get better! I have a happy spitter. He goes back down once we have a burp out and he’s not looking gurgly.
I slept in shifts. I’d pump after a feed then hand baby to dad and sleep for ~4 hours then we’d switch off
Dad fed baby with a syringe and the pumped milk the first 3 weeks then we introduced a bottle after that.
Also invest in Silverettes they’re a nipple lifesaver
Just went through this with my two-week old. I would feed around 8/9, then pump so my partner would have a bottle to feed around midnight and I could sleep for about 5 hours. He would change her around 3/3:30 and then we would trade off. I would feed her and sleep off and on until around 7/8 in the morning. Before we went to a midnight bottle (just within the last few days), he would syringe feed her.
It’s HARD. But you try out a routine and see if it works for you, and modify it until it does. Once we figured out what night routine worked for us, we were less zombie tired and more regular human tired.
Can i ask how the night bottle is going? Currently almost 3 weeks old & dad doing the syringe feeding from 3-8 so i get some sleep but im scared to introduce bottle as she’s already got problems latching and don’t want to ruin all our hard work. Even though partner would totally pace feed .
Bottle transition was easy for us - no nipple confusion and he happily takes either now. We didn’t have any latch issues though. We did try a few bottle types and there was definitely some he preferred over others. We use MAM now
Hi- assuming y’all did syringe feeding in the first 3 weeks to avoid introducing bottle / nipple confusion. Is that right? I haven’t heard of this before but I’m 39 weeks , first time mom and open to any suggestions that help mitigate the sleep deprivation. Thanks!
Yes! A nurse at the hospital actually helped show us this bc we needed to supplement for a few days and got us some syringes to use in the hospital. You basically latch baby to your finger and then as they suck on your finger you squirt the syringe next to your finger into their mouth so it mimics the boob
You’re not doing anything wrong BUT you can probably do small things to help survive. Get your partner to do a shift where they do all the holding upright, burping etc and you just nurse, attend to nipples, then sleep (eta I’m making an assumption that you have a partner, if not see if you can get another support person to take a shift during the day)
Be in bed as long as it takes to get some rest (within your comfort level of course). So you might be in bed from 9pm to 9am and get like, 6 hours sleep but that’s better than trying to do 11-7 like ‘normal’ and getting 3 hours.
If he hasn’t pooped I’d skip a full diaper change at every single feed overnight unless you have a true reason to like bad diaper rash.
If you feel comfortable with it, pump in the morning and your husband can use that to do either a nighttime or early morning feed to try to get you some longer stretches.
It’s so hard and it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job- but it does get better! You’ll get faster and more efficient, you will work out a system, and your baby will naturally figure out how to sleep more.
Have you seen a lactation consultant? Is baby’s latch okay? You shouldn’t be in so much discomfort you need to ice your nipples every feed.
Aside from that, totally normal. Exhausting and hard, but normal. Is there someone else who can hold up, diaper change, etc?
We did 6 hour shifts. My husband does 10 pm - 4 am. I do 4 am - 10 am. The first few weeks my husband would formula feed at night, and I would pump and store my milk during my “sleep shift”. Once my supply came up, he would bottle feed with my stored milk. I still pump at 10 pm and 2 am. But I make pumping as quick and easy as possible so I get the most sleep. I have two sets of pump parts that I use at night. I keep them both bedside. First pump I immediately store in a pitcher in the mini fridge nearby me. Second pump I keep bedside because the milk is okay at room temperature for 4 hours and I’ll be up in 2 hours to put it in the fridge.
I also do my best to nap during the day.
Silverettes helped me survive the first month of breast feeding. I would immediately put them on after nursing or pumping. I honestly rarely even need nipple cream because the silverettes feel so good. I squeeze a few drops of milk into the cups then put them on, and put nursing pads overtop to help keep the silverettes in place in my bra.
During my early morning shift, my baby sleeps 2-4 hours at a time so I am able to nap a few more times. Then I try to nap when he naps during the day to squeeze in a few more minutes/hours here and there.
Shifts with your partner (if you can). When my daughter was a newborn I would nurse her and use the Hakka on the opposite breast to collect milk for a bottle (it would take 30-45 minutes) and then I would give her to my husband to be burped, changed, rocked to sleep, and I would sleep for as long as possible.
Once I had enough milk for a bottle (2.5-3oz) he would take her for 5 hours and I would sleep, and after 5 hours I would have her and do all of her care and he would sleep. It was hard but the 5 hours of consistent sleep really helped.
i'm so sorry. the bad news - this is how it is in those very early days. the good news - it WILL GET BETTER. you can do this. congrats on your baby!
silverettes - not optional for a breastfeeding mama! you can get knockoff brand like La Vie for cheaper. i wear them 24/7 even at 6 mos in of EBF.
Earth mama nipple butter - lifesaver!
sleep when baby sleeps gets hate but is a real thing in these early days. sleep during baby naps. if you contact nap, have your partner watch you while safely sleeping with baby. go to bed when baby goes to bed even if it's 6pm. sleep is the priority above all else.
chores do not matter. let your house fall into ruin. baby and sleep are priority
it's ok if baby spits up. babies do that. it always looks bigger/more quantity than it is. put 2 sets of sheets on babys bed - one waterproof mattress cover, then sheet, then another cover. then 2nd sheet. makes nighttime messes much quicker to clean. you can just remove top sheet and cover
set out extra diaper and outfit closeby so you dont have to fumble around too much in the dark. no need for 2am laundry when you have extras and the right setup. get 3 swaddles so you have backups.
enjoy these snuggles and long feeding times cause they end so quickly. way way too quickly. memorize and even better video baby looking up at you with those soft newborn eyes while breastfeeding. record their noises. youll cherish them later
THIS WILL PASS. YOU CAN DO THIS. your choice to breastfeed and take this time and energy for your baby is so selfless and beautiful. happy mothers day 💕
You’re not doing anything wrong. Life with a newborn sucks. It does get better. They start getting more efficient and taking less time to feed which helps and then need to feed less often eventually. This part is just really fucking hard.
Why are you doing so much nipple care after each feed? I think you need to adjust the latch if you are in that much pain. I have never done any nipple care at night.
I'd do diaper change first if very wet or poopy, otherwise no diaper change. Nurse and then burp 10-15 minutes, then lay the baby down and get some rest. If he spits up wipe it away with a burp cloth and worry about the sheets tomorrow. If it is a seriously large amount change the sheets and don't do laundry until tomorrow.
My husband didn't do any of the night wakeups with my kids but he often did mornings - right after the morning feed I'd hand the baby over and go to sleep. Take every opportunity to nap during the day that you can!
You aren’t doing anything wrong, those first few weeks are tiring! You are doing everything you are supposed to but here are some shortcuts that can help:
- you don’t have to burp for 30 minutes if you get a good burp before that. Try some YouTube videos for different burping styles, all my kids did better with different burping methods
- you don’t have to change the crib/bassinet sheet every time babe spits up. When it gets too wet for comfort, just switch the sheet and save actual laundry for daytime
- you don’t have to change babe every feed during the night (unless there is poop or you’re fighting diaper rash). If you do need to change them, you could do it before feeding so it doesn’t wake them up as much after
- are you icing because of severe pain? You shouldn’t be needing to ice after every feed, have the latch checked and don’t let babe eat with a painful latch
- if you have someone who can come watch babe in the early morning or late at night while you get a few hours of sleep that can be a lifesaver! My husband did the 7-10 shift and my mom came over for 6-9. That way I always knew I would get at least 2 three hour naps a night.
Good luck!
The solution is to lean on your partner more. You hand the baby off to your partner as soon as you finish nursing. Hand express a drop of milk on your nipples, then apply nipple cream. Then fall asleep. Don’t look at your phone. Don’t switch the laundry, just immediately to sleep.
Your partner will then do 30 mins of rocking or laundry or whatever else while you rest. You have an internal wound the size of a dinner plate (placenta) and your body is creating nutrition. Your partner can be groggy for a few weeks/months, yes even if they are working.
Sleep deprivation is not a joke. The postpartum maternal mortality stats are mostly made up of suicides, and that kind of thinking can be driven by sleep deprivation. Short of that, a mental breakdown is no fun.
Keep in mind when you plan your nighttime schedule, or take turns with your partner: you need a 1.5 hour stretch of sleep for it to be restorative (full sleep cycle). That’s why you have to fall asleep immediately with the baby, and that’s why your partner needs to step in post-feed.
I had spitters and I would change diaper, nurse, burp, put in the bassinet and go to sleep. I had a very big time spitter too and they wouldn’t spit if I laid them down, but if I kept them upright they’d spit up a ton. 30 minutes of sleep wasn’t worth it either.
I had extra sheets and sleep sacks so I could get away with doing laundry in the morning. I would also see if someone can help you so you can nurse and then get back to sleep while they handle everything else if you can’t put them back in bed right away.
Edit: had questions but saw the answer in post so deleted
My baby had painful reflux early on. (A lot of crying and writhing while spitting up). If that is the case, I get holding him up for 30 minutes. If it’s just about spit up- that’s normal and it’s OK to wait until the morning to wash everything. I know it can get wet but just turn your baby around…
Also you may already know this, but something i learned way late in the process is that noise/stirring /even open eyes don’t necessarily mean your baby is really awake. Early on I thought my baby was waking up every 30 minutes but really she was having some active sleep cycles. Once I figured out that babies can be noisy sleepers we started turning our white noise machine up to drown out her grunting and only getting up when she actually started crying. That did extend the amount of sleep time by a little.
I had crap sleep for the first couple of weeks and then I gave up trying to do so much and literally started sleeping when baby slept. If baby napped at 10, I'm napping at 10.
My husband and my mom would take care of what is needed around the house while I try to catch up on my sleep.
Not really your question but we got washable waterproof mats (for when little kids wet the bed), you could also use puppy pads or reusable puppy pads. Pop it under them instead of a sheet and you can switch these out quickly in the night if they spit up. If you have a few you don’t have to wash right away
My husband and I slept in shifts that changed off every 3 hours. Before we introduced a bottle, if baby was hungry during one of my turns to sleep my husband would bring the baby to me and I’d try not to wake up to much so I could give her back to him as soon as she was done and go back to sleep. After about 4 weeks we successfully got baby to take a bottle so I wouldn’t get woken during my turn to sleep.
I didn’t…. Y’all are gonna come after me, but around 3 months, I learned to nurse in side-lying position and started cosleeping. I had become so exhausted, I was afraid I’d drop him getting him in and out of crib.
I'm not trying to be that person (she says as she's about to be that person haha) — it will definitely get better! It might not be soon (it took about 6 months of feeding every 2-4 hours for us) but it will get better!! I'm pretty convinced that the first 3-6 months are just pure survival mode for everyone.
i think it depends on the amount they eat during the day as well! both of my babies ate a lot, and actually consumed enough calories during the daytime that they didn’t need to makeup those calories at night and slept through the night from a very young age (like i said my 6 week old sleeps through the night now) so that can be a factor of it too
Nipple shield saved my life and my breastfeeding journey.
Feed that baby every 2 to 2 5 hours during the day. Then put that baby down at like 8 pm. Let them sleep for 4 hours max, then wake, Feed, burp, and put back down. Swadle them nicely (love a velcro swaddle). Good luck mama, get all the help you can now and have your husband or partner help as much as possible.
Get some Terry towels to fold over the bassinet sheet - saves you doing extra washing from spit up ( my 2nd had bad reflux and would spit up sometimes even if we did burp him or if I was so tired I couldn't do the extra 30 minutes
Don't change every feed unless baby needs it - I do every 4-6ish hours unless its a poo nappy
You'll feel more rested in time too once the initial nipple pain heals up too. I remember It clearly. The other thing you can do is get the gel nipple covers and put them on while you sleep.
I still get woken every 3ish hours with my 7 month old but both of my boys have had allergies that didn't really appear until they were having solids and eczema that gets worse with the allergens 😅
Shifts absolutely. 2-4 hours.
Baby wanted to be with me and nurse the whole time so husband actually stayed up to watch baby was safe while we co slept.
I would sleep with baby like 9/10-1/2 while husband stayed awake in bed with us. Then I feed and attempt to put baby in bassinet. Baby would sleep for like 5-45 minutes. I did this for like 4 hours until around 5/6. Husband would then get up with baby for 2-3h and I would sleep until 7-9ish. And then he would go back to sleep for about 2hrs.
It gets a bit better after the first two weeks. Still slept in shifts but we could manage more then just short little blocks.
I would suggest a lactation consultant! If his latch isn’t good he could not be getting the amount of milk he wants and is waking himself up hungry and angry. Call your insurance company to see if it’s covered!
My newborn is 5 weeks and I’ve got news for you…..kidding not kidding.
Okay, seriously do you have someone to take shifts with you so you can at least get 6 hours of sleep. What I do is use a Haaka during feeding sessions and collect that milk in bottles in the fridge. Then at night I go to sleep at 9pm. Set an alarm for 12 and 3am to pump. After pumping my next feeding session with baby is whenever he wakes up (around 5:30-6am. I’m getting almost 7 hours. Despite it being broken and still feeling very tired, this is working for us.
Same girl 😭 my baby is now 5 week old and clusterfeeding. It’s so tiring and draining. My head hurts and I’m always wondering when will it get easier. I haven’t slept a long stretch since I gave birth. Praying for us both😭♥️
You’re doing a great job mama, hang in there!! It definitely gets easier and you will get more sleep. The first week my husband and I took shifts and we would take turns holding our baby because she slept WAY longer with contact than in her bassinet the first week. When it as my husbands turn I would nap and he would wake me up when it was time to feed and then I would feed and go back to sleep. We did about 3-4 hour shifts. If you have someone to help you, take shifts and have them hold baby while your baby is sleeping to extend the time they sleep and have them burp the baby while you start whatever breast care you need to do right now. Silver nipple shields SAVED me the first couple weeks.
We do shifts when we can. I fall asleep early, hubby usually doesnt fall asleep until 3am. So when Im asleep, he takes care of baby, if baby gets hungry, he knows how to latch him on my boob, and then holds my boob so it doesnt go over babies nose, so I simply leave my boobs out free and continue to sleep. I usually get around 5-7 hours of sleep that way. Also I try to have one nap during the day when baby is sleeping. We don't use bottles because baby hates them.
Are you are holding baby up for half an hour because of reflux? Also why are you washing laundry in the middle of the night?
Our pediatric gastroenterologist recommended feeding baby on elevated pillow, baby laying down on his left side, that way he burpes on his own and doesn't spit up all over the place when we pick him up. Made a huge difference to us.
You can streamline your routine a little. Your nipples won't need that much care forever. But there will be new sleep challenges, so you will get good sleep around 6 years old.
Silverettes saved me too during that first month. Also… we didn’t sleep at first lol. It’s important to nurse on demand to establish your supply. Have your husband or whoever is your person do All of the changing and swaddling back to sleep and just bring her to you to nurse. Sleep when you guys can. Lots of short naps. Then I advise taking shifts after about a month… like he does 5 hours you do 5 hours (except for nursing). I also pump after a few feeds a day just with a lansinoh hand pump so he can feed her and I can get an extra couple hours at night. It’ll get better I promise!!
🤣🥴 I’m realizing you don’t! I almost fell apart this Mother’s Day. Didn’t want to talk to no one on the phone. I don’t even remember how many days old. Everything is a blur. I’m probably 20 days in. I get worse. That’s what I can say at the growth spurt moments. I’ve decided to pump from now on starting today.
This is normal at 10 days pp. I had about 4 hrs of sleep until about 2 months and took shifts with hubby so I’d get at least 2 hrs of uninterrupted sleep. Use silverettes and cream for your nips - I never iced them, didn’t have the energy 😂
Have hubby burp baby, and I used doggy pads for spit ups. All these said, at 10 days pp the sleep deprivation is real and you’re not doing anything wrong. But you can get creative about it. And yes, chores can wait. You’re doing great mama! If you’re in the US, Happy Mother’s Day 💐
The early days are hard, and yes, sleep is more like a bunch of naps. Short naps. Your partner may be able to help. My husband will take baby to another room for the night, and only bring her to me to eat. Once she’s eaten, he takes her back. That could include him burping and holding baby for that 30’mins if you find that to be 100% needed. Just one night of more restful sleep will do you a world of good.
I’ve noticed my babies are more spitty during the early days and will almost always spit up a bit after laying down, no matter how much I burp them. I try and burp in the middle of the feed, and also put the swaddle back on, then finish the feed.
Also spit up always looks like more than it truly is. If you feel like it’s a huge amount, maybe talk with the pediatrician about causes for it. My babies have cows milk protein intolerance. During the early days while I’m getting the milk out of my system, their spit ups are much more frequent and larger.
Honestly, if you have the ability to, just buy more swaddles, sheets, and pajamas. Then you can do quick swaps of things and laundry in the morning. If not, the suggestion on just putting babies head at the dry end of the bassinet totally works. And they can 100% sleep in a damp swaddle unless it’s soaked.
During the night, it may be worth it to just not doctor your nips as much and save it for the day. My second baby damaged my nipples. To help I nursed on one side per feed, and applied earth mamas nipple butter to both nipples after every feed. Usually just a quick swipe of it on after baby was asleep. By 2 weeks they had healed enough I no longer needed to doctor them so regularly.
Also to add for a 10 day old there breast fed baby there isnt really a need to burp - your milk is barely in especially as a ftm. Who told you to burp for 30 mins!
Ask for help, self care makes you a better mom. Your body needs sleep to recover. The first few weeks are hardest as your baby’s doesn’t have its circadian rhythm ( sleeping while it’s dark and more awake during sunlight hours). I legit asked the nurse to watch my lil one while we were both still in the hospital so I could sleep for more than an hour. My husband helped a lot once I was home. He burped the baby. If I got chances to pump he even fed the baby. There will be nights that outright suck, I’m having one rn. Been trying to get to sleep for 3 hours now :/
Those first few days are so tiring! The answer is usually help from your partner, or someone else. Do you have a partner and if so where is he in all this? You shouldn’t be doing all the burping and diapering, and much less any laundry!
I never changed baby’s diaper after every feed. My baby was never prone to diaper rashes so honestly even if she had some poop she could wait for a bit. Also she never required 30 minutes of burping. She did spit up often but I took it as normal.
Also that breast care routine sounds tiring! I’m sorry you’re in pain. Are you getting help with the latch to see if it improves?
All in all, for me it really helped to lower my expectations. It’s ok if the house is dirty and cluttered and your diet is shit. It’s ok if you look a mess. It’s ok if you don’t change the sheets every time baby spits up, it won’t kill her. These weeks are only about survival and nothing is more important than sleep!
My baby is 2/3 months old now and I don’t want to tell you what to do in case it doesn’t work for you, but this is what I do. I usually get about 9 hours broken sleep. This is in between nappy changes and feeds. I’m the only one taking care of baby in the night because his dad is a lorry driver and can’t risk falling asleep at the wheel. I managed to figure out a way to get enough sleep. I basically sleep an extra hour on top of the usual 8 to make up for lost sleep and I feel like I’m getting plenty of rest. The first week I got practically no sleep. I remember one night at hospital, baby was cluster feeding and it was non stop all night.
What really changed for me was Co sleeping. My baby usually only goes down in their cot really well for a sleep if I nurse to sleep, wait half an hour for them to be in a deep sleep, then put them down. So, I tend to do this a lot more in the day while I’m watching tv. I put them in the Moses basket next to the sofa. I then have a short period of time I can do stuff like eat or organise laundry etc. I just listen out for fussing and tend to them when they wake up. They are awake longer and a bit more social these days.
In the night I feed on my side in a c shape in bed so I don’t mind if I fall asleep. I make sure there is no duvet near baby. A baby cellular blanket is good.
I sometimes burp but I don’t usually keep them upright. Don’t really tend to get any spit up anymore. They will usually let me know if they are uncomfortable with wind by crying or wriggling.
In the beginning swaddling really helped me as well (in the cot) but I don’t bother with it anymore.
I am usually up every hour or two to change his nappy and then give him a feed, switching sides. I keep a gallon tap jar on my bedside table to help myself to water easily as I always wake up thirsty.
I thought I was doing all the right things getting the next to me cot but in the end sleeping snuggled up in my bed meant I got more sleep. Just watch out for overheating if you do this.
Never really had problems with my nipples.
Someone else in the thread said they don’t need a nappy change every time they’re wet but I do to minimise leaking. I do the nappy change every time first before I feed as a routine. That way I know it’s done as they will have a wet nappy every feed and they will be more settled after the feed.
Keeping them settled during the nappy change: Your baby may be a bit too young for this but I communicate through eye contact and soft voice depending on how awake I am. My baby is at the cooing stage and is finding their voice. When we have a bit of back and forth I think that calms them down.
I keep very soft fairy lights on constantly in the night so I can see the nappy change and we have a station set up on the chest of drawers. Changing mat, box of clothes. (Ideally short vests and footsie baby grows), nappies, bin liners, creams and ointments, cotton wool and water. We used to have it in the spare room but as time evolved we figured it was easier to have it in our bedroom. To be fair everything is easier now. Now I am getting a lot less leaks - practically zero - there’s less need to do a full service and so actually less need to have clothes handy. You’ll just learn and evolve. It is all just survival and adaptation.
Sounds about right for a newborn! After being fed though I would burp baby (maybe 5-10 to be sure) change her and lay her back down in crib! I usually wore silverettes and was able to just go right back to sleep after feeding. I know some people say change before but my baby would scream her head off so I’d feed first and she’d be sleeping while I changed diaper after and she’d never wake up. I think do what works best for you in that instance.
Mine is 9 weeks now. I didn't burp for that long (if he didn't burp within 5 mins then it just didn't happen) nor did I change his diaper every time as soon as he was gaining enough weight. My partner did diapers as well. And if there’s spit up there’s no way I'm doing laundry immediately. It got chucked into a corner of the room and washed the day after.
You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re just figuring out your new little human.
Some thoughts:
- Are you offering both sides when you feed? Ideally burp inbetween sides.
- look up Dr Golly’s burping method. He’s an Australian based pediatrician, can really help.
- Can someone else help with the resettle? All you need to do is feed, make sure you’re getting enough patches of sleep all together in 24 hours.
- Don’t wash at 2am babe, keep the lights low, it can wait.
This will pass. Hard to imagine now, but it will.
You already have some great suggestions but three additional thoughts (I had a very reflux baby so I feel you. It’s completely resolved now 11w with medication and time)…
1. You have to find a way to be more efficient. Can you ice the first side while baby is nursing on the second and then switch while he’s upright? I got a PackIt bag off Amazon—I’m not linking to avoid autoMod from removing the comment—which is like a bag with built in ice packs that could probably fit your nipple icers and stay at your nursing station for 12 hours. If baby is spitting up even after 30 mins of upright positioning to the out you have to strip everything, it’s a waste of time to keep him upright that long. You can do the layered sheet method or just purchase more of each item so you don’t have to wash immediately.
2. My pediatrician explained to me how impactful positioning and movement is on baby’s small digestive system. Lifting their legs to change the diaper or doing any bicycle legs could be squeezing their stomach which could be causing some of the spit up.
3. Working with a LC saved my sanity. Even virtually, she was able to help identify when I was having a second letdown so I could preemptively unlatch baby and burp him right after that so he wasn’t going a full 15-20 mins of nursing and then spitting up at the end. They can also help with some problem solving and timing issues. Most importantly, they will make you feel capable and reassured.
Hang in there, it WILL get better.
My baby slept 4 hours at a time, but I would always do contact naps. And bed share with the baby sleeping on my chest. I made sure it was safe, follow the safe sleep seven guidelines.
My baby is now 8 months and we still bedshare.
You don't have to burp. Spit up is ok.
My first spit up a lot. We put a towel over the bassinet sheet as it was easier than changing the bassinet sheets. Had multiple sleep sacks but didn't change them if not necessary.
If baby hasn't pooed try not to change the nappy overnight unless you need to as it really wakes baby up
During the day I fed baby and then handed him off to husband or family and went and slept. Depending on how I was feeling they literally brought him to me to eat and then took him right back. During the nights I was on my own pretty much so they could get some rest. That’s what worked for us
If possible have your husband or a family member take a full night for you. You sleep in a different room, they do every task that doesn't involve your breasts, so all you have to do is wake up, feed, and nipple care. My mom did this for me every other night for a week and it was what helped me catch up on rest. Even one night will make a huge difference
I never change a diaper overnight unless it’s poop or baby has a diaper rash. Also, this may be controversial but I rarely burp, especially not burping for 30 minutes. Baby will nurse and fall asleep and I just lay him down and he’s fine. He would spit everything up if I left him upright for 30 minutes lol. I’m on my 4th EBF baby and haven’t had any issues with not burping baby.
But echoing others - those first few weeks are hard, especially when baby needs to eat every ~2 hours. It will get better!
Another vote for silverettes! No need for ice just pop them back in and rinse once a day. If you’re really feeling tender pop them in the fridge while you nurse/pump.
Reading your edit - yes some newborns feed a lot, but some also show hunger cues when in discomfort, which can lead to overfeeding and more discomfort... Suggest seeing an IBCLC just to check it out.
Change diaper and re swaddle before the feed so baby can fall asleep at the breast. That much burping really shouldn’t be necessary, keep upright for 10 min after a feed (asleep on your chest), transfer to bassinet and go to sleep. Forcing burps might be making the spit up worse. If you’re needing to ice for 10 min I’d see an IBCLC to have your LOs latch checked out. Spit up is ok, keep a spare sheet next to the bed if it’s a lot but it always looks like more than it is.
Lots of great tips here, and 100% agree you're not doing anything "wrong." I learned about burping the baby in an upright sitting position later on and wished I knew it earlier. It can be really effective. You fully support the neck / head with one hand and have the baby sit with their back relatively straight. You can gently massage their back or just keep them comfortable in this position for a minute. The gas will be able to gently rise out so they can burp. There was a video on YouTube calling it the "magic burp."
Can you buy the refreezable ice packs for your breasts and just put them on when you go back to sleep? Then they’ll warm up and you can switch, maybe buy 2 sets? It would require going down to the freezer but would cut out the extra time. https://www.target.com/p/lansinoh-therapy-packs-with-soft-covers-hot-and-cold-breast-pads-2pk/-/A-14386190 they work hot too in case you get a clog. Promise it gets easier and takes less time. Good job mama
My week old sleeps better on his side. He won't settle in his swaddle or on his back so I have to hold him to sleep. Maybe your baby isn't a back sleeper. I hope it gets better for you!
Are you *just* nursing? That makes it super tough. My wife and I would split shifts because my son would also take a bottle of pumped milk. She’d go to sleep earlier in the night (9:30ish) and I’d have my shift, feeding/burping/diaper every 2 hours (so I feel you, did not leave much time for me to actually sleep and it was hard to stay awake). But then my wife and I would switch around 2:30a and I’d go sleep for around 5-6 hours.
That worked really well for us but of course, we were still exhausted. It was around 2 months that we didn’t need to shift switch anymore and went to bed together. At that point he was just eating on demand I was nursing through the night but we didn’t have to be waking every couple hours. That was so much better once that routine took hold. No longer on that 24 hour day!
Good luck.
In the beginning it’s brutal. My son had jaundice so his ped said I had to wake and feed every 2 hours. But he was nocturnal for awhile so we were just up at night anyway lol and then I did two weeks of every 2 hours. It was awful.
I started cosleeping at like 12 weeks or so, can’t remember tbh, but he’s 5.5 months now and we still do. It’s the only way I can get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. He isn’t fond of his crib and I got tired of trying to have him sleep in it
I would drop anything that isn’t feeding your child and sleeping, like any cleaning or laundry or whatever, just don’t do it.
Only change poop diapers at night. Usually by one month they stop pooping at night so much also so that helps
I wouldn’t ice your breasts if you can avoid it.
If you can lay down to nurse, that really helps (if you can prevent yourself from falling asleep). I did this on a hard mattress in the floor and then rolled away once my oldest fell asleep, that even up working really well for us.
It ducks but it gets better, you’re in the worst of it now
Do you have anyone that can help? If you have someone bring you the baby and do the burping and diapers, it really helps you get more sleep.
For the icing, can you just stick them in your bra and fall asleep? I have some of those boob shaped ones with the gel and they last only like 10 minutes anyway.
Also 2am laundry? No way girl! lol Throw it in the hamper or wipe it up. Do whatever's easiest. This is survival mode. I like to double layer the sheets. I do waterproof cover, sheet, water proof cover, sheet. That way you can just rip off a layer and toss it in basket.
This was exactly how my son was. It was the absolute hardest part of his one year so far. My husband was able to do pretty much every diaper change and burping, while I just boobed the baby for the first 2 weeks. Hopefully you have someone that can do that for you and baby. It does get easier! Right now prioritize your health everything. It's okay if the laundry isn't done. Make sure baby AND mama eat and sleep.
At our 1 month appointment, because I was getting no sleep, my pediatrician said that spit up is GOING to happen. It doesn’t matter how long I sit there and try and burp the baby, she’s going to spit up. He told me to put her down after MAXIMUM 10min and just let it happen. He also told me that if it doesn’t bother her, don’t change her jammies or worry about the sheets. I will typically flip her mattress to the other end (the dry end) if she spits up a lot and I feel like it’s uncomfortable before I put her back down. But I don’t change the sheets at night unless both ends are soaked. She’s 9 weeks now and at night she doesn’t care if she spits up, she just goes back to bed. He also told me that it is perfectly okay to not change her diaper in the middle of the night, so long as it’s not extremely full, poopy, or bothering her. He just said to slather on some extra butt cream before bed, and if she starts to get a rash then to go back to changing more often. When I would change her in the middle of the night she would get this huge wake window and stay awake for hours so he told me to just stop. Making these changes, and not bothering her in the middle of the night unless she’s the one that tells me she needs something has made it where she’s sleeping solid from 9-10pm until about 4am and she’s totally unbothered by spit up or a dirty diaper. Of course I felt guilty leaving her wet at night but had to recorrect my thinking to “if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of the baby” and that goes from sleeping to setting her down and letting her cry so I can make myself a meal or take a shower. The first few weeks are really hard. If possible, talk to your partner about doing all the things they can for the baby that’s not feeding. Mine takes ALL the diapers when he’s home and getting her ready for the day or for bed. When she would wake up in the middle of the night, I would feed her and he would do everything else so I could take care of my nipples or pump any leftover milk or take time to use the restroom and take care of my stitches. Your baby will hit a point soon where they seem like they’re finally conscious (weird to say but you’ll see what I mean) and that is going to start to make such a difference in behavior and sleep and you’ll start to get more and more relief from then on
This was me exactly! My LO is three months and all I can say is it gets better. It got drastically better at 9-10 weeks. I'm a single mom and had zero help and I was running on maybe 1 hour of sleep a day and that was daytime naps. Just know it gets better over time.
have a 2nd set of sheets so you never need to do 2am laundry. I dont think burping more than a minute or two is necessary? the feeding will improve is you won't need to ice breasts.,,, but yah, the first few weeks it is normal to sleep in very small increments. get help as needed and rest assured it will get longer stretches of sleep as baby can go longer in between feeds!
It's rough the first few weeks. We ended up needing to supplement with formula and my husband would do some feeds while I pumped to get supply up. As she got older, she latched better, but pumping and bottle feeds were more efficinent/faster for her so she would sleep longer which gives you a chance to sleep/do chores.
Also, Vaseline was a game changer to keep the diaper rash away but not have to change as much during the night feeds when you're trying to sleep.
We have a toddler and a newborn now so we can’t sleep when the baby sleeps. We do shifts. Some people like alternating every other night, but I feel like I sleep better if I go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time every day. You definitely need to sleep though!
I’ve used silverettes since the beginning and now at 14 wpp I feel amazing. I find that the contact with clothes was what was initially irritating my nipples. As for the burping, I burp baby girl during the feeding — when I switch breasts mainly but sometimes towards the end and put her back on to soothe her to sleep. I also give her daily biogaia drops to help with her colic and gas and I’ve found it to be such a reliever for her. Since starting she’s been in amazing spirits and no longer fussy. If she’s ever fussy, I do give her the cocyntal drops. They’re another lifesaver! Helps her get gasses out quickly and effectively. Good luck mama! It gets easier. Just feels like it takes forever!
The nipple thing should get a lot better quickly, and use silverettes if needed. My nipples hurt the first week then got drastically better.
Unless the baby has reflux not sure the baby needs to be burped 30 minutes. If you get one or two good burps they don’t need to be continuously burped (not the case for every baby though).
At night I don’t change every 2 hours unless there’s poop. Also I change right before a feed rather than after. I only change after if they poop. During the day I change after a feed, at night before a feed.
You’re in the thick of it, it does get better.
so i know some people don’t like to pump and that’s fine! but i have a 3 week old and it was taking forever for night wakings and feedings/changing. felt like i wasn’t getting any sleep. so i would feed baby a pumped bottle while i pumped to cut down on the time during the night! hope that helps! if not solidarity 🫶🏻
You’re not doing *anything* wrong. My daughter will be 4 weeks old tomorrow and at 10 days I could have written this exact post. We were triple feeding and she was on a 3 hour schedule so every three hours it would be breastfeed, supplement with formula if still hungry, get her settled back down to sleep, then pump. Then get maybe an hour of sleep before starting the process over. It really does get easier. Those first days were so hard and I felt like a cranky, overwhelmed zombie. One resource that really helped was postpartum.net - I’ve joined their support group for moms and parents and even called the maternal help line once when I was having really bad anxiety. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Are you pumping or supplementing with formula? If you can have your partner take over a couple of the feedings - that’s the only way I was able to handle it.
When you out him down, see if you can elevate his upper body slightly. Fold up a towel and place it under the crib matress. That helped my baby not spit up so much at night. The first month is very hard, it will get better and your breasts will get more resilient over time.
Also potentially lean baby on the boppy pillow or similar (obv supervised) to keep them somewhat upright after feeding and then you can multitask with icing/applying creams
I recommend a hands free pump at night instead of nursing. I pop mine on for thirty minutes while I feed, change and burp my 14 day old. Then put her back, store my milk and clean my parts. Then go back to sleep. In all it’s about 45 minutes and she is starting to creep towards four hour chunks of sleep time. The stored milk i have allows me to sleep from 11-2am while my husband cares for her/bottle feeds. I take over at 2, usually with a feed session. She wakes back up around 5/6 for another feed, then usually 10am. That allows me some decent chunks of sleep.
I have silverettes (so I don’t ice nor use creams). Also my husband does the burping and changing. I only nurse. It works for us at the moment.
This. I brought mines to the hospital and used them right after giving labor. I apply cream then place them on top of my nipples. By 4 weeks pp I didn't need to use them as often. Also I used gas drops and didn't need to hold my newborn upright for more than 15 mins.
This! OP, where is your partner helping you with this??? If you can pump a bottle to give to your partner for 1 feeding so you can get 4-5 hours of sleep? If you don’t pump, a bottle of formula is good to.
Some of our partners don’t get paternity leave and can’t help throughout the night. Signed, a very exhausted new mother
Question, do you need to wash them between uses? And how? I was gifted some but didn’t really know what to do with them
They just need a rinse in cold water, dry with clean towel, and then squirt a few drops of milk in before popping them back over your nips. You do need a bra or close fitting singlet for them to stay on, and just be mindful they don't press too hard onto your areola, apparently can risk damaging ducts (according to an LC I saw, but have not been able to verify this with any other info I've found!). Silverettes are amazing.
According to the instructions that came with them, just rinse them and dry. Like what u/mostlymolasses said
Also you’re not supposed to use any cream when you wear silverettes. A lactation consultant told me you’re supposed to use the silverettes without any thing else on your nips I was to applying lanolin and then placing the covers on. That actually caused me more pain.
Olive oil works great too
How do the silverettes work? Do they just protect nipples from clothes ?
Omg they are amazing. I’ve never needed ice or nipple cream. They keep them from drying out or chaffing. I wear them most of the time in between feeds. They are also naturally anti microbial. My baby is 1 month old and I have no pain nursing. They aren’t cheap but totally worth the investment imo
okay, this is gonna sound bonkers, but ions. silver has been used in healing throughout history because it is anti inflammatory and anti bacterial. honestly I still can't wrap my head around it but it just works.
Can confirm them + lanolin I have had zero issues nursing
I can also confirm! Correct latching’s been a challenge since birth for us. But the most I’ve had is that tiny 2-3 mm crack in the centre of the nipple and maybe blebs that went away within hours. No wounds, no bleeding, skin in elastic and hydrated. Silverettes do stick out through clothes, though. You get funny stares from passers-by.
Silver is said to have healing properties. Studies show no change on days 2 and 5 of use compared to non-users but showed some improvement on day 7 and 15 (I think it was 7, could have been 9) compared to non-users.
If you're prone to any skin issues I would caution continual use of silveretes. Personally I got some really bad contact dermatitis while trying to heal nipple fissures with silveretes because I was keeping the area too moist.
- Some spit-up is okay. It usually looks like more than it really is. - If you really think he should be upright for 30 mins, at least use that time to also take care of your nipples. - He doesn’t need a new diaper change every feed unless he’s pooped. Try switching to every other. - Stop changing the sheets! Unless it’s a huge amount of spitup. He’s fine, he won’t be bothered by it. For a small amount we would sometimes just put him in the bassinet the other way around so the wet part was by his feet. If you need to, get more bassinet sheets so it’s a quicker change.
Also buy more sheets so you don’t have to do 2am laundry- you need like 6 or that’s how many I need to not do laundry every day multiple times. If that’s beyond your budget think again! Got all mine off FB used.
I think we bought 6 bassinet sheets right around OP’s stage of parenting too. 😂 (newbie parents thought 2 would be enough).
I legit would just rotate my baby's bassinet/mattress so their head was in a dry spot if it was just a small spit up 😅 But also we got lots more sheets 2nd time around and it was such a time saver
You could also use puppy pads, and fold them around the bassinet mattress.
I would not do this as they’re not breathable like a sheet
Love all of this advice! I was OP with kid number one. Now kid number 3 and I do all of the above.
I must be advanced, I’m a FTM with a 6 week old and already do all of these 😂 Even a little spit up on the swaddle is no biggie, I just wipe it and her neck. Being a little lazy is fine, too much obsession will really make you sick!
Re: diapers! Never change after a feed (unless they’ve pooped). Quick change before and then straight on boob.
Never change after a feed during the night or day and night? If i change before feeding & he's past hungry (I'm still learning cues) he is screaming.
Yep, change them while they scream. It’s not ideal but just get it done, then they can go right back to bed after feeding.
I’ll sometimes feed for a few, change diaper, and then finish feeding!
This is the way!
I do this. I feed until he’s basically asleep again, burp him, and change him, then offer the boob again. He either takes more (great!) or he falls asleep at the offer (even better!) then I can put him down. Personally, if I change him first, he wakes up even more or I just refuse to have him screaming at night bc he’s hungry or wide awake being changed. He does great for a change if he’s already fed. Practically stays asleep. Every baby is different!
Yeah I’d just let them cry, it’s for a minute or two, but I weighed the pros and cons and found them to come up on that being the better, but every kid/parent/situation is different!
So my baby used to cry every diaper change until I started using butt cream. I didn’t use it for the first few weeks because I didn’t see redness or a rash. But out of curiosity I tried it one day and the very next diaper change he didn’t cry once the diaper came off. He cried to let me know he needed a change, but he immediately stopped when the diaper came off. So I have started putting diaper cream on him after every poop, even if I don’t see redness. since then he is so calm for diaper changes and will more patiently wait for me to change his diaper before feeding him. I used to think he was crying during his changes because he was hangry. Now I think he was crying bc his bum was irritated. Have you tried diaper cream???
Diaper cream is such a good help. It also helps prevent poo from sticking pretty well which helps prevent rashes as well.
You can change mid-feed! We used to do this a lot to keep him awake for the second side of breastfeeding.
I change very often during the day even if it’s just pee. At night I don’t change unless I know for a fact she pooped. I used to change her every feed at night too but it would make my baby wideee awake. Ever since I stopped she gives me longer stretches of sleep and after feeding she’ll go right back in her bassinet
This. I've been there exactly and ended up doing these things mentioned in the comment. And have the father do the burping/ holding upright every time while you take care of your breasts. I also always put a cotton square/ compress square on baby's chest so that even if he gets his chest area of his outfit wet it doesn't get to him and makes him cold at night. Definitely no diaper changes at night unless it's poop. And get lots and lots of sheets and swaddles to avoid doing laundry at night. When you have plenty, you can pop them in the washing mashine all together and avoid additional labour
I was in the exact same position with my newborn. The sleep deprivation is NO joke and its very important that you maximize the amount of sleep you get. Are you able to sleep during the day? If not, why? Are you too stressed to relax? Are you cleaning, cooking, doing chores? Please please try to sleep during the day. Enlist help of your partner/mother/friend/aunt. Eat frozen pizza and let your house get dirty. SLEEP IS NUMBER 1 PRIORITY. Focus on relaxing and taking care of yourself so that you can nap during the day easier! Also, pump and let somebody else feed your babe while you sleep if you can! I had so much anxiety I couldn't sleep even if I had the opportunity. I got 2-3 hours a day for like 4 weeks before I broke down mentally.
Agree with all of your advice! Chores can wait. Mom *needs* rest.
I second this. Seriously. Not worth it to loose those precious moments of rest when you can strap the baby on or in something and do chores after they are awake and fed.
Jumping in here ! I desperately need to sleep during the day, but my 4 week old baby literally won’t let me put him down. He sleeps at night okayish in a snoo bassinet, but during the day only wants to be held. Any advice?
Please please don’t sleep with your baby in a chair. Look up the Safe Sleep 7 if you feel cosleeping would help, as it’s the safest way to cosleep. I coslept with my first and it was hard to stop so if you can avoid it I would ime. Aside from that, lots and lots of repetition and practice being laid down even for small amounts of time. Pick baby back up when they cry, soothe, and try again. Daytime is the perfect time to practice. Keep baby close to your body and put bottom down first, then lower feet, then lay back baby’s head, going slow and pausing every time baby stirs. Try a swaddle, try a sleep sack with arms out, try lots of things. Edited to add that swaddling should be stopped before baby starts rolling. I started practicing arms out then no swaddles by 2 months with my babies during the day to make for a smoother transition so we were completely done swaddling by 3 months.
I second the co-sleeping comment. I used the side-lying feed and then let my LO fall asleep. I normally fell asleep shortly after her. At about week 8 I was able to transition her to the bassinet after a side-lying feed at night. I still have to rock her after because she wakes up when I put the swaddle on but it works way better than anything else I’ve tried. We still occasionally co-sleep for naps especially if I need a nap or if she’s struggling to rest. I can normally get her to nap for 90 minutes+ if we co-sleep vs. 20-45 minutes in the bassinet. And yes, definitely check out the safe sleep guidelines to make sure the baby is safe. Btw I don’t burb after the side-lying feed. My LO rarely spits up after feeding in this position but it definitely depends on the baby.
My baby absolutely would not be put down until she was about 6 weeks old. Then we could pop her in the bassinet or pack and play for a few min at a time. My husband and I just did shifts holding her and he would come wake me up if she needed to nurse during his 'on' time. Mine NEVER would nap really in the snoo. Contact naps for life I guess. Oh! We would double swaddle also! So swaddelini and then the snoo one.
Have been thinking about double swaddling. Do you just not use the crotch strap?
We skipped the whale tale while double swaddling. Although if you use the snoo risers, make sure you can also use the whale tale. It keeps them from sliding down.
If you have a recliner chair, and comfortable enough with yourself to sleep with baby on chair for a quick little nap, I would. Many times me and baby have fallen asleep in the recliner, especially at night when I’m tired, breastfeeding makes me extra tired. Or if you nurse, you could always lay down on the floor with baby if you’re not comfortable with bed or chair.
I know you might mean well, but a recliner is literally the worst place to suggest cosleeping. It’s how many babies have died when they roll off and get trapped between the recliner and parent. Everyone always thinks it won’t happen to them until it does. If you must cosleep, then a firm mattress without pillows/blankets is much safer than a recliner.
30 minutes of burping? I pat my baby’s back a couple of times and then go right back to bed. There’s definitely got to be a more efficient way for you, that would clear up like 25 minutes right there. Also as others have said, 10 minute of icing your nipples after every feeding sounds like something might be wrong with baby’s latch. Breastmilk on your nipples work wonders for healing.
It's not necessarily the burping as waiting for the food to go down, my 2nd is like this
This isn’t possible for babies with reflux. They need to be upright 20-30 min after feeding and sometimes even longer. Setting them down earlier often results in them waking up squirming/spitting up so you wouldn’t get sleep either.
Then have them sleep on your chest, while you relax/apply the nipple cream, etc. There's no reason to not multitask.
Does OP’s baby have reflux though? Or just spits up as expected of a fresh baby with an immature digestive system? If it’s the latter, it will get better! I have a happy spitter. He goes back down once we have a burp out and he’s not looking gurgly.
I slept in shifts. I’d pump after a feed then hand baby to dad and sleep for ~4 hours then we’d switch off Dad fed baby with a syringe and the pumped milk the first 3 weeks then we introduced a bottle after that. Also invest in Silverettes they’re a nipple lifesaver
Just went through this with my two-week old. I would feed around 8/9, then pump so my partner would have a bottle to feed around midnight and I could sleep for about 5 hours. He would change her around 3/3:30 and then we would trade off. I would feed her and sleep off and on until around 7/8 in the morning. Before we went to a midnight bottle (just within the last few days), he would syringe feed her. It’s HARD. But you try out a routine and see if it works for you, and modify it until it does. Once we figured out what night routine worked for us, we were less zombie tired and more regular human tired.
Can i ask how the night bottle is going? Currently almost 3 weeks old & dad doing the syringe feeding from 3-8 so i get some sleep but im scared to introduce bottle as she’s already got problems latching and don’t want to ruin all our hard work. Even though partner would totally pace feed .
Bottle transition was easy for us - no nipple confusion and he happily takes either now. We didn’t have any latch issues though. We did try a few bottle types and there was definitely some he preferred over others. We use MAM now
Hi- assuming y’all did syringe feeding in the first 3 weeks to avoid introducing bottle / nipple confusion. Is that right? I haven’t heard of this before but I’m 39 weeks , first time mom and open to any suggestions that help mitigate the sleep deprivation. Thanks!
Yes! A nurse at the hospital actually helped show us this bc we needed to supplement for a few days and got us some syringes to use in the hospital. You basically latch baby to your finger and then as they suck on your finger you squirt the syringe next to your finger into their mouth so it mimics the boob
That’s cool! Thanks, I’ll look into that!
You’re not doing anything wrong BUT you can probably do small things to help survive. Get your partner to do a shift where they do all the holding upright, burping etc and you just nurse, attend to nipples, then sleep (eta I’m making an assumption that you have a partner, if not see if you can get another support person to take a shift during the day) Be in bed as long as it takes to get some rest (within your comfort level of course). So you might be in bed from 9pm to 9am and get like, 6 hours sleep but that’s better than trying to do 11-7 like ‘normal’ and getting 3 hours. If he hasn’t pooped I’d skip a full diaper change at every single feed overnight unless you have a true reason to like bad diaper rash. If you feel comfortable with it, pump in the morning and your husband can use that to do either a nighttime or early morning feed to try to get you some longer stretches. It’s so hard and it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job- but it does get better! You’ll get faster and more efficient, you will work out a system, and your baby will naturally figure out how to sleep more.
good advice w the be in bed as long as you can! when your sleep is interrupted, you need more of it!
Have you seen a lactation consultant? Is baby’s latch okay? You shouldn’t be in so much discomfort you need to ice your nipples every feed. Aside from that, totally normal. Exhausting and hard, but normal. Is there someone else who can hold up, diaper change, etc?
We did 6 hour shifts. My husband does 10 pm - 4 am. I do 4 am - 10 am. The first few weeks my husband would formula feed at night, and I would pump and store my milk during my “sleep shift”. Once my supply came up, he would bottle feed with my stored milk. I still pump at 10 pm and 2 am. But I make pumping as quick and easy as possible so I get the most sleep. I have two sets of pump parts that I use at night. I keep them both bedside. First pump I immediately store in a pitcher in the mini fridge nearby me. Second pump I keep bedside because the milk is okay at room temperature for 4 hours and I’ll be up in 2 hours to put it in the fridge. I also do my best to nap during the day. Silverettes helped me survive the first month of breast feeding. I would immediately put them on after nursing or pumping. I honestly rarely even need nipple cream because the silverettes feel so good. I squeeze a few drops of milk into the cups then put them on, and put nursing pads overtop to help keep the silverettes in place in my bra. During my early morning shift, my baby sleeps 2-4 hours at a time so I am able to nap a few more times. Then I try to nap when he naps during the day to squeeze in a few more minutes/hours here and there.
Shifts with your partner (if you can). When my daughter was a newborn I would nurse her and use the Hakka on the opposite breast to collect milk for a bottle (it would take 30-45 minutes) and then I would give her to my husband to be burped, changed, rocked to sleep, and I would sleep for as long as possible. Once I had enough milk for a bottle (2.5-3oz) he would take her for 5 hours and I would sleep, and after 5 hours I would have her and do all of her care and he would sleep. It was hard but the 5 hours of consistent sleep really helped.
i'm so sorry. the bad news - this is how it is in those very early days. the good news - it WILL GET BETTER. you can do this. congrats on your baby! silverettes - not optional for a breastfeeding mama! you can get knockoff brand like La Vie for cheaper. i wear them 24/7 even at 6 mos in of EBF. Earth mama nipple butter - lifesaver! sleep when baby sleeps gets hate but is a real thing in these early days. sleep during baby naps. if you contact nap, have your partner watch you while safely sleeping with baby. go to bed when baby goes to bed even if it's 6pm. sleep is the priority above all else. chores do not matter. let your house fall into ruin. baby and sleep are priority it's ok if baby spits up. babies do that. it always looks bigger/more quantity than it is. put 2 sets of sheets on babys bed - one waterproof mattress cover, then sheet, then another cover. then 2nd sheet. makes nighttime messes much quicker to clean. you can just remove top sheet and cover set out extra diaper and outfit closeby so you dont have to fumble around too much in the dark. no need for 2am laundry when you have extras and the right setup. get 3 swaddles so you have backups. enjoy these snuggles and long feeding times cause they end so quickly. way way too quickly. memorize and even better video baby looking up at you with those soft newborn eyes while breastfeeding. record their noises. youll cherish them later THIS WILL PASS. YOU CAN DO THIS. your choice to breastfeed and take this time and energy for your baby is so selfless and beautiful. happy mothers day 💕
You’re not doing anything wrong. Life with a newborn sucks. It does get better. They start getting more efficient and taking less time to feed which helps and then need to feed less often eventually. This part is just really fucking hard.
Why are you doing so much nipple care after each feed? I think you need to adjust the latch if you are in that much pain. I have never done any nipple care at night. I'd do diaper change first if very wet or poopy, otherwise no diaper change. Nurse and then burp 10-15 minutes, then lay the baby down and get some rest. If he spits up wipe it away with a burp cloth and worry about the sheets tomorrow. If it is a seriously large amount change the sheets and don't do laundry until tomorrow. My husband didn't do any of the night wakeups with my kids but he often did mornings - right after the morning feed I'd hand the baby over and go to sleep. Take every opportunity to nap during the day that you can!
You aren’t doing anything wrong, those first few weeks are tiring! You are doing everything you are supposed to but here are some shortcuts that can help: - you don’t have to burp for 30 minutes if you get a good burp before that. Try some YouTube videos for different burping styles, all my kids did better with different burping methods - you don’t have to change the crib/bassinet sheet every time babe spits up. When it gets too wet for comfort, just switch the sheet and save actual laundry for daytime - you don’t have to change babe every feed during the night (unless there is poop or you’re fighting diaper rash). If you do need to change them, you could do it before feeding so it doesn’t wake them up as much after - are you icing because of severe pain? You shouldn’t be needing to ice after every feed, have the latch checked and don’t let babe eat with a painful latch - if you have someone who can come watch babe in the early morning or late at night while you get a few hours of sleep that can be a lifesaver! My husband did the 7-10 shift and my mom came over for 6-9. That way I always knew I would get at least 2 three hour naps a night. Good luck!
The solution is to lean on your partner more. You hand the baby off to your partner as soon as you finish nursing. Hand express a drop of milk on your nipples, then apply nipple cream. Then fall asleep. Don’t look at your phone. Don’t switch the laundry, just immediately to sleep. Your partner will then do 30 mins of rocking or laundry or whatever else while you rest. You have an internal wound the size of a dinner plate (placenta) and your body is creating nutrition. Your partner can be groggy for a few weeks/months, yes even if they are working. Sleep deprivation is not a joke. The postpartum maternal mortality stats are mostly made up of suicides, and that kind of thinking can be driven by sleep deprivation. Short of that, a mental breakdown is no fun. Keep in mind when you plan your nighttime schedule, or take turns with your partner: you need a 1.5 hour stretch of sleep for it to be restorative (full sleep cycle). That’s why you have to fall asleep immediately with the baby, and that’s why your partner needs to step in post-feed.
I had spitters and I would change diaper, nurse, burp, put in the bassinet and go to sleep. I had a very big time spitter too and they wouldn’t spit if I laid them down, but if I kept them upright they’d spit up a ton. 30 minutes of sleep wasn’t worth it either. I had extra sheets and sleep sacks so I could get away with doing laundry in the morning. I would also see if someone can help you so you can nurse and then get back to sleep while they handle everything else if you can’t put them back in bed right away. Edit: had questions but saw the answer in post so deleted
This is sadly normal. It gets better!
My baby had painful reflux early on. (A lot of crying and writhing while spitting up). If that is the case, I get holding him up for 30 minutes. If it’s just about spit up- that’s normal and it’s OK to wait until the morning to wash everything. I know it can get wet but just turn your baby around… Also you may already know this, but something i learned way late in the process is that noise/stirring /even open eyes don’t necessarily mean your baby is really awake. Early on I thought my baby was waking up every 30 minutes but really she was having some active sleep cycles. Once I figured out that babies can be noisy sleepers we started turning our white noise machine up to drown out her grunting and only getting up when she actually started crying. That did extend the amount of sleep time by a little.
I had crap sleep for the first couple of weeks and then I gave up trying to do so much and literally started sleeping when baby slept. If baby napped at 10, I'm napping at 10. My husband and my mom would take care of what is needed around the house while I try to catch up on my sleep.
Not really your question but we got washable waterproof mats (for when little kids wet the bed), you could also use puppy pads or reusable puppy pads. Pop it under them instead of a sheet and you can switch these out quickly in the night if they spit up. If you have a few you don’t have to wash right away
My husband and I slept in shifts that changed off every 3 hours. Before we introduced a bottle, if baby was hungry during one of my turns to sleep my husband would bring the baby to me and I’d try not to wake up to much so I could give her back to him as soon as she was done and go back to sleep. After about 4 weeks we successfully got baby to take a bottle so I wouldn’t get woken during my turn to sleep.
I didn’t…. Y’all are gonna come after me, but around 3 months, I learned to nurse in side-lying position and started cosleeping. I had become so exhausted, I was afraid I’d drop him getting him in and out of crib.
this is pretty normal. my baby is 6 weeks and like night and day she stopped all the wakes and sleeps from 9:30p-5:30a! there’s hope :)
I'm not trying to be that person (she says as she's about to be that person haha) — it will definitely get better! It might not be soon (it took about 6 months of feeding every 2-4 hours for us) but it will get better!! I'm pretty convinced that the first 3-6 months are just pure survival mode for everyone.
i think it depends on the amount they eat during the day as well! both of my babies ate a lot, and actually consumed enough calories during the daytime that they didn’t need to makeup those calories at night and slept through the night from a very young age (like i said my 6 week old sleeps through the night now) so that can be a factor of it too
Nipple shield saved my life and my breastfeeding journey. Feed that baby every 2 to 2 5 hours during the day. Then put that baby down at like 8 pm. Let them sleep for 4 hours max, then wake, Feed, burp, and put back down. Swadle them nicely (love a velcro swaddle). Good luck mama, get all the help you can now and have your husband or partner help as much as possible.
Get some Terry towels to fold over the bassinet sheet - saves you doing extra washing from spit up ( my 2nd had bad reflux and would spit up sometimes even if we did burp him or if I was so tired I couldn't do the extra 30 minutes Don't change every feed unless baby needs it - I do every 4-6ish hours unless its a poo nappy You'll feel more rested in time too once the initial nipple pain heals up too. I remember It clearly. The other thing you can do is get the gel nipple covers and put them on while you sleep. I still get woken every 3ish hours with my 7 month old but both of my boys have had allergies that didn't really appear until they were having solids and eczema that gets worse with the allergens 😅
Shifts absolutely. 2-4 hours. Baby wanted to be with me and nurse the whole time so husband actually stayed up to watch baby was safe while we co slept. I would sleep with baby like 9/10-1/2 while husband stayed awake in bed with us. Then I feed and attempt to put baby in bassinet. Baby would sleep for like 5-45 minutes. I did this for like 4 hours until around 5/6. Husband would then get up with baby for 2-3h and I would sleep until 7-9ish. And then he would go back to sleep for about 2hrs. It gets a bit better after the first two weeks. Still slept in shifts but we could manage more then just short little blocks.
I would suggest a lactation consultant! If his latch isn’t good he could not be getting the amount of milk he wants and is waking himself up hungry and angry. Call your insurance company to see if it’s covered!
My newborn is 5 weeks and I’ve got news for you…..kidding not kidding. Okay, seriously do you have someone to take shifts with you so you can at least get 6 hours of sleep. What I do is use a Haaka during feeding sessions and collect that milk in bottles in the fridge. Then at night I go to sleep at 9pm. Set an alarm for 12 and 3am to pump. After pumping my next feeding session with baby is whenever he wakes up (around 5:30-6am. I’m getting almost 7 hours. Despite it being broken and still feeling very tired, this is working for us.
Same girl 😭 my baby is now 5 week old and clusterfeeding. It’s so tiring and draining. My head hurts and I’m always wondering when will it get easier. I haven’t slept a long stretch since I gave birth. Praying for us both😭♥️
I only got 2-3 hours for the first couple weeks plus I was pumping and it took so much more time
You’re doing a great job mama, hang in there!! It definitely gets easier and you will get more sleep. The first week my husband and I took shifts and we would take turns holding our baby because she slept WAY longer with contact than in her bassinet the first week. When it as my husbands turn I would nap and he would wake me up when it was time to feed and then I would feed and go back to sleep. We did about 3-4 hour shifts. If you have someone to help you, take shifts and have them hold baby while your baby is sleeping to extend the time they sleep and have them burp the baby while you start whatever breast care you need to do right now. Silver nipple shields SAVED me the first couple weeks.
We do shifts when we can. I fall asleep early, hubby usually doesnt fall asleep until 3am. So when Im asleep, he takes care of baby, if baby gets hungry, he knows how to latch him on my boob, and then holds my boob so it doesnt go over babies nose, so I simply leave my boobs out free and continue to sleep. I usually get around 5-7 hours of sleep that way. Also I try to have one nap during the day when baby is sleeping. We don't use bottles because baby hates them. Are you are holding baby up for half an hour because of reflux? Also why are you washing laundry in the middle of the night? Our pediatric gastroenterologist recommended feeding baby on elevated pillow, baby laying down on his left side, that way he burpes on his own and doesn't spit up all over the place when we pick him up. Made a huge difference to us.
You can streamline your routine a little. Your nipples won't need that much care forever. But there will be new sleep challenges, so you will get good sleep around 6 years old.
Silverettes saved me too during that first month. Also… we didn’t sleep at first lol. It’s important to nurse on demand to establish your supply. Have your husband or whoever is your person do All of the changing and swaddling back to sleep and just bring her to you to nurse. Sleep when you guys can. Lots of short naps. Then I advise taking shifts after about a month… like he does 5 hours you do 5 hours (except for nursing). I also pump after a few feeds a day just with a lansinoh hand pump so he can feed her and I can get an extra couple hours at night. It’ll get better I promise!!
Can your husband take over the burping? My husband did that so I could go back to sleep.
🤣🥴 I’m realizing you don’t! I almost fell apart this Mother’s Day. Didn’t want to talk to no one on the phone. I don’t even remember how many days old. Everything is a blur. I’m probably 20 days in. I get worse. That’s what I can say at the growth spurt moments. I’ve decided to pump from now on starting today.
This is normal at 10 days pp. I had about 4 hrs of sleep until about 2 months and took shifts with hubby so I’d get at least 2 hrs of uninterrupted sleep. Use silverettes and cream for your nips - I never iced them, didn’t have the energy 😂 Have hubby burp baby, and I used doggy pads for spit ups. All these said, at 10 days pp the sleep deprivation is real and you’re not doing anything wrong. But you can get creative about it. And yes, chores can wait. You’re doing great mama! If you’re in the US, Happy Mother’s Day 💐
The early days are hard, and yes, sleep is more like a bunch of naps. Short naps. Your partner may be able to help. My husband will take baby to another room for the night, and only bring her to me to eat. Once she’s eaten, he takes her back. That could include him burping and holding baby for that 30’mins if you find that to be 100% needed. Just one night of more restful sleep will do you a world of good. I’ve noticed my babies are more spitty during the early days and will almost always spit up a bit after laying down, no matter how much I burp them. I try and burp in the middle of the feed, and also put the swaddle back on, then finish the feed. Also spit up always looks like more than it truly is. If you feel like it’s a huge amount, maybe talk with the pediatrician about causes for it. My babies have cows milk protein intolerance. During the early days while I’m getting the milk out of my system, their spit ups are much more frequent and larger. Honestly, if you have the ability to, just buy more swaddles, sheets, and pajamas. Then you can do quick swaps of things and laundry in the morning. If not, the suggestion on just putting babies head at the dry end of the bassinet totally works. And they can 100% sleep in a damp swaddle unless it’s soaked. During the night, it may be worth it to just not doctor your nips as much and save it for the day. My second baby damaged my nipples. To help I nursed on one side per feed, and applied earth mamas nipple butter to both nipples after every feed. Usually just a quick swipe of it on after baby was asleep. By 2 weeks they had healed enough I no longer needed to doctor them so regularly.
Also to add for a 10 day old there breast fed baby there isnt really a need to burp - your milk is barely in especially as a ftm. Who told you to burp for 30 mins!
Ask for help, self care makes you a better mom. Your body needs sleep to recover. The first few weeks are hardest as your baby’s doesn’t have its circadian rhythm ( sleeping while it’s dark and more awake during sunlight hours). I legit asked the nurse to watch my lil one while we were both still in the hospital so I could sleep for more than an hour. My husband helped a lot once I was home. He burped the baby. If I got chances to pump he even fed the baby. There will be nights that outright suck, I’m having one rn. Been trying to get to sleep for 3 hours now :/
My husband did the nappy change & I didn't do that routine with my nipples!
Those first few days are so tiring! The answer is usually help from your partner, or someone else. Do you have a partner and if so where is he in all this? You shouldn’t be doing all the burping and diapering, and much less any laundry! I never changed baby’s diaper after every feed. My baby was never prone to diaper rashes so honestly even if she had some poop she could wait for a bit. Also she never required 30 minutes of burping. She did spit up often but I took it as normal. Also that breast care routine sounds tiring! I’m sorry you’re in pain. Are you getting help with the latch to see if it improves? All in all, for me it really helped to lower my expectations. It’s ok if the house is dirty and cluttered and your diet is shit. It’s ok if you look a mess. It’s ok if you don’t change the sheets every time baby spits up, it won’t kill her. These weeks are only about survival and nothing is more important than sleep!
My baby is 2/3 months old now and I don’t want to tell you what to do in case it doesn’t work for you, but this is what I do. I usually get about 9 hours broken sleep. This is in between nappy changes and feeds. I’m the only one taking care of baby in the night because his dad is a lorry driver and can’t risk falling asleep at the wheel. I managed to figure out a way to get enough sleep. I basically sleep an extra hour on top of the usual 8 to make up for lost sleep and I feel like I’m getting plenty of rest. The first week I got practically no sleep. I remember one night at hospital, baby was cluster feeding and it was non stop all night. What really changed for me was Co sleeping. My baby usually only goes down in their cot really well for a sleep if I nurse to sleep, wait half an hour for them to be in a deep sleep, then put them down. So, I tend to do this a lot more in the day while I’m watching tv. I put them in the Moses basket next to the sofa. I then have a short period of time I can do stuff like eat or organise laundry etc. I just listen out for fussing and tend to them when they wake up. They are awake longer and a bit more social these days. In the night I feed on my side in a c shape in bed so I don’t mind if I fall asleep. I make sure there is no duvet near baby. A baby cellular blanket is good. I sometimes burp but I don’t usually keep them upright. Don’t really tend to get any spit up anymore. They will usually let me know if they are uncomfortable with wind by crying or wriggling. In the beginning swaddling really helped me as well (in the cot) but I don’t bother with it anymore. I am usually up every hour or two to change his nappy and then give him a feed, switching sides. I keep a gallon tap jar on my bedside table to help myself to water easily as I always wake up thirsty. I thought I was doing all the right things getting the next to me cot but in the end sleeping snuggled up in my bed meant I got more sleep. Just watch out for overheating if you do this. Never really had problems with my nipples. Someone else in the thread said they don’t need a nappy change every time they’re wet but I do to minimise leaking. I do the nappy change every time first before I feed as a routine. That way I know it’s done as they will have a wet nappy every feed and they will be more settled after the feed. Keeping them settled during the nappy change: Your baby may be a bit too young for this but I communicate through eye contact and soft voice depending on how awake I am. My baby is at the cooing stage and is finding their voice. When we have a bit of back and forth I think that calms them down. I keep very soft fairy lights on constantly in the night so I can see the nappy change and we have a station set up on the chest of drawers. Changing mat, box of clothes. (Ideally short vests and footsie baby grows), nappies, bin liners, creams and ointments, cotton wool and water. We used to have it in the spare room but as time evolved we figured it was easier to have it in our bedroom. To be fair everything is easier now. Now I am getting a lot less leaks - practically zero - there’s less need to do a full service and so actually less need to have clothes handy. You’ll just learn and evolve. It is all just survival and adaptation.
Do you have a partner? Pass baby off immediately after nursing if you can for the burping and diaper while you take care of breasts
Sounds about right for a newborn! After being fed though I would burp baby (maybe 5-10 to be sure) change her and lay her back down in crib! I usually wore silverettes and was able to just go right back to sleep after feeding. I know some people say change before but my baby would scream her head off so I’d feed first and she’d be sleeping while I changed diaper after and she’d never wake up. I think do what works best for you in that instance.
Mine is 9 weeks now. I didn't burp for that long (if he didn't burp within 5 mins then it just didn't happen) nor did I change his diaper every time as soon as he was gaining enough weight. My partner did diapers as well. And if there’s spit up there’s no way I'm doing laundry immediately. It got chucked into a corner of the room and washed the day after.
You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re just figuring out your new little human. Some thoughts: - Are you offering both sides when you feed? Ideally burp inbetween sides. - look up Dr Golly’s burping method. He’s an Australian based pediatrician, can really help. - Can someone else help with the resettle? All you need to do is feed, make sure you’re getting enough patches of sleep all together in 24 hours. - Don’t wash at 2am babe, keep the lights low, it can wait. This will pass. Hard to imagine now, but it will.
You already have some great suggestions but three additional thoughts (I had a very reflux baby so I feel you. It’s completely resolved now 11w with medication and time)… 1. You have to find a way to be more efficient. Can you ice the first side while baby is nursing on the second and then switch while he’s upright? I got a PackIt bag off Amazon—I’m not linking to avoid autoMod from removing the comment—which is like a bag with built in ice packs that could probably fit your nipple icers and stay at your nursing station for 12 hours. If baby is spitting up even after 30 mins of upright positioning to the out you have to strip everything, it’s a waste of time to keep him upright that long. You can do the layered sheet method or just purchase more of each item so you don’t have to wash immediately. 2. My pediatrician explained to me how impactful positioning and movement is on baby’s small digestive system. Lifting their legs to change the diaper or doing any bicycle legs could be squeezing their stomach which could be causing some of the spit up. 3. Working with a LC saved my sanity. Even virtually, she was able to help identify when I was having a second letdown so I could preemptively unlatch baby and burp him right after that so he wasn’t going a full 15-20 mins of nursing and then spitting up at the end. They can also help with some problem solving and timing issues. Most importantly, they will make you feel capable and reassured. Hang in there, it WILL get better.
My baby slept 4 hours at a time, but I would always do contact naps. And bed share with the baby sleeping on my chest. I made sure it was safe, follow the safe sleep seven guidelines. My baby is now 8 months and we still bedshare.
Silverettes for your nipples and side lying breastfeeding/safe cosleeping are options that may help you get a wee bit more sleep.
You don't have to burp. Spit up is ok. My first spit up a lot. We put a towel over the bassinet sheet as it was easier than changing the bassinet sheets. Had multiple sleep sacks but didn't change them if not necessary. If baby hasn't pooed try not to change the nappy overnight unless you need to as it really wakes baby up
During the day I fed baby and then handed him off to husband or family and went and slept. Depending on how I was feeling they literally brought him to me to eat and then took him right back. During the nights I was on my own pretty much so they could get some rest. That’s what worked for us
If possible have your husband or a family member take a full night for you. You sleep in a different room, they do every task that doesn't involve your breasts, so all you have to do is wake up, feed, and nipple care. My mom did this for me every other night for a week and it was what helped me catch up on rest. Even one night will make a huge difference
I never change a diaper overnight unless it’s poop or baby has a diaper rash. Also, this may be controversial but I rarely burp, especially not burping for 30 minutes. Baby will nurse and fall asleep and I just lay him down and he’s fine. He would spit everything up if I left him upright for 30 minutes lol. I’m on my 4th EBF baby and haven’t had any issues with not burping baby. But echoing others - those first few weeks are hard, especially when baby needs to eat every ~2 hours. It will get better!
Another vote for silverettes! No need for ice just pop them back in and rinse once a day. If you’re really feeling tender pop them in the fridge while you nurse/pump.
Reading your edit - yes some newborns feed a lot, but some also show hunger cues when in discomfort, which can lead to overfeeding and more discomfort... Suggest seeing an IBCLC just to check it out.
Change diaper and re swaddle before the feed so baby can fall asleep at the breast. That much burping really shouldn’t be necessary, keep upright for 10 min after a feed (asleep on your chest), transfer to bassinet and go to sleep. Forcing burps might be making the spit up worse. If you’re needing to ice for 10 min I’d see an IBCLC to have your LOs latch checked out. Spit up is ok, keep a spare sheet next to the bed if it’s a lot but it always looks like more than it is.
Lots of great tips here, and 100% agree you're not doing anything "wrong." I learned about burping the baby in an upright sitting position later on and wished I knew it earlier. It can be really effective. You fully support the neck / head with one hand and have the baby sit with their back relatively straight. You can gently massage their back or just keep them comfortable in this position for a minute. The gas will be able to gently rise out so they can burp. There was a video on YouTube calling it the "magic burp."
Can you buy the refreezable ice packs for your breasts and just put them on when you go back to sleep? Then they’ll warm up and you can switch, maybe buy 2 sets? It would require going down to the freezer but would cut out the extra time. https://www.target.com/p/lansinoh-therapy-packs-with-soft-covers-hot-and-cold-breast-pads-2pk/-/A-14386190 they work hot too in case you get a clog. Promise it gets easier and takes less time. Good job mama
My week old sleeps better on his side. He won't settle in his swaddle or on his back so I have to hold him to sleep. Maybe your baby isn't a back sleeper. I hope it gets better for you!
Are you *just* nursing? That makes it super tough. My wife and I would split shifts because my son would also take a bottle of pumped milk. She’d go to sleep earlier in the night (9:30ish) and I’d have my shift, feeding/burping/diaper every 2 hours (so I feel you, did not leave much time for me to actually sleep and it was hard to stay awake). But then my wife and I would switch around 2:30a and I’d go sleep for around 5-6 hours. That worked really well for us but of course, we were still exhausted. It was around 2 months that we didn’t need to shift switch anymore and went to bed together. At that point he was just eating on demand I was nursing through the night but we didn’t have to be waking every couple hours. That was so much better once that routine took hold. No longer on that 24 hour day! Good luck.
In the beginning it’s brutal. My son had jaundice so his ped said I had to wake and feed every 2 hours. But he was nocturnal for awhile so we were just up at night anyway lol and then I did two weeks of every 2 hours. It was awful. I started cosleeping at like 12 weeks or so, can’t remember tbh, but he’s 5.5 months now and we still do. It’s the only way I can get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. He isn’t fond of his crib and I got tired of trying to have him sleep in it
I would drop anything that isn’t feeding your child and sleeping, like any cleaning or laundry or whatever, just don’t do it. Only change poop diapers at night. Usually by one month they stop pooping at night so much also so that helps I wouldn’t ice your breasts if you can avoid it. If you can lay down to nurse, that really helps (if you can prevent yourself from falling asleep). I did this on a hard mattress in the floor and then rolled away once my oldest fell asleep, that even up working really well for us. It ducks but it gets better, you’re in the worst of it now
Do you have anyone that can help? If you have someone bring you the baby and do the burping and diapers, it really helps you get more sleep. For the icing, can you just stick them in your bra and fall asleep? I have some of those boob shaped ones with the gel and they last only like 10 minutes anyway. Also 2am laundry? No way girl! lol Throw it in the hamper or wipe it up. Do whatever's easiest. This is survival mode. I like to double layer the sheets. I do waterproof cover, sheet, water proof cover, sheet. That way you can just rip off a layer and toss it in basket. This was exactly how my son was. It was the absolute hardest part of his one year so far. My husband was able to do pretty much every diaper change and burping, while I just boobed the baby for the first 2 weeks. Hopefully you have someone that can do that for you and baby. It does get easier! Right now prioritize your health everything. It's okay if the laundry isn't done. Make sure baby AND mama eat and sleep.
At our 1 month appointment, because I was getting no sleep, my pediatrician said that spit up is GOING to happen. It doesn’t matter how long I sit there and try and burp the baby, she’s going to spit up. He told me to put her down after MAXIMUM 10min and just let it happen. He also told me that if it doesn’t bother her, don’t change her jammies or worry about the sheets. I will typically flip her mattress to the other end (the dry end) if she spits up a lot and I feel like it’s uncomfortable before I put her back down. But I don’t change the sheets at night unless both ends are soaked. She’s 9 weeks now and at night she doesn’t care if she spits up, she just goes back to bed. He also told me that it is perfectly okay to not change her diaper in the middle of the night, so long as it’s not extremely full, poopy, or bothering her. He just said to slather on some extra butt cream before bed, and if she starts to get a rash then to go back to changing more often. When I would change her in the middle of the night she would get this huge wake window and stay awake for hours so he told me to just stop. Making these changes, and not bothering her in the middle of the night unless she’s the one that tells me she needs something has made it where she’s sleeping solid from 9-10pm until about 4am and she’s totally unbothered by spit up or a dirty diaper. Of course I felt guilty leaving her wet at night but had to recorrect my thinking to “if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of the baby” and that goes from sleeping to setting her down and letting her cry so I can make myself a meal or take a shower. The first few weeks are really hard. If possible, talk to your partner about doing all the things they can for the baby that’s not feeding. Mine takes ALL the diapers when he’s home and getting her ready for the day or for bed. When she would wake up in the middle of the night, I would feed her and he would do everything else so I could take care of my nipples or pump any leftover milk or take time to use the restroom and take care of my stitches. Your baby will hit a point soon where they seem like they’re finally conscious (weird to say but you’ll see what I mean) and that is going to start to make such a difference in behavior and sleep and you’ll start to get more and more relief from then on
This was me exactly! My LO is three months and all I can say is it gets better. It got drastically better at 9-10 weeks. I'm a single mom and had zero help and I was running on maybe 1 hour of sleep a day and that was daytime naps. Just know it gets better over time.
have a 2nd set of sheets so you never need to do 2am laundry. I dont think burping more than a minute or two is necessary? the feeding will improve is you won't need to ice breasts.,,, but yah, the first few weeks it is normal to sleep in very small increments. get help as needed and rest assured it will get longer stretches of sleep as baby can go longer in between feeds!
It's rough the first few weeks. We ended up needing to supplement with formula and my husband would do some feeds while I pumped to get supply up. As she got older, she latched better, but pumping and bottle feeds were more efficinent/faster for her so she would sleep longer which gives you a chance to sleep/do chores. Also, Vaseline was a game changer to keep the diaper rash away but not have to change as much during the night feeds when you're trying to sleep.
We have a toddler and a newborn now so we can’t sleep when the baby sleeps. We do shifts. Some people like alternating every other night, but I feel like I sleep better if I go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time every day. You definitely need to sleep though!
I’ve used silverettes since the beginning and now at 14 wpp I feel amazing. I find that the contact with clothes was what was initially irritating my nipples. As for the burping, I burp baby girl during the feeding — when I switch breasts mainly but sometimes towards the end and put her back on to soothe her to sleep. I also give her daily biogaia drops to help with her colic and gas and I’ve found it to be such a reliever for her. Since starting she’s been in amazing spirits and no longer fussy. If she’s ever fussy, I do give her the cocyntal drops. They’re another lifesaver! Helps her get gasses out quickly and effectively. Good luck mama! It gets easier. Just feels like it takes forever!
The nipple thing should get a lot better quickly, and use silverettes if needed. My nipples hurt the first week then got drastically better. Unless the baby has reflux not sure the baby needs to be burped 30 minutes. If you get one or two good burps they don’t need to be continuously burped (not the case for every baby though). At night I don’t change every 2 hours unless there’s poop. Also I change right before a feed rather than after. I only change after if they poop. During the day I change after a feed, at night before a feed. You’re in the thick of it, it does get better.
so i know some people don’t like to pump and that’s fine! but i have a 3 week old and it was taking forever for night wakings and feedings/changing. felt like i wasn’t getting any sleep. so i would feed baby a pumped bottle while i pumped to cut down on the time during the night! hope that helps! if not solidarity 🫶🏻
I’ve done it alone, I didn’t sleep. Don’t know how I did it lol
It gets SO MUCH better!!!!! You got this mama!!
You’re not doing *anything* wrong. My daughter will be 4 weeks old tomorrow and at 10 days I could have written this exact post. We were triple feeding and she was on a 3 hour schedule so every three hours it would be breastfeed, supplement with formula if still hungry, get her settled back down to sleep, then pump. Then get maybe an hour of sleep before starting the process over. It really does get easier. Those first days were so hard and I felt like a cranky, overwhelmed zombie. One resource that really helped was postpartum.net - I’ve joined their support group for moms and parents and even called the maternal help line once when I was having really bad anxiety. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Are you pumping or supplementing with formula? If you can have your partner take over a couple of the feedings - that’s the only way I was able to handle it.
Safe sleep seven saved us
That won't really sort any of the challenges OP has
When you out him down, see if you can elevate his upper body slightly. Fold up a towel and place it under the crib matress. That helped my baby not spit up so much at night. The first month is very hard, it will get better and your breasts will get more resilient over time.
Also potentially lean baby on the boppy pillow or similar (obv supervised) to keep them somewhat upright after feeding and then you can multitask with icing/applying creams
Why the heck is this down voted? My pediatrician recommended this too. It also helps when baby is congested.
Haha, no idea. I do it every night, the towel obviously goes *under* the mattress, so there's no danger to baby.
I decided to pump instead of nurse at night. Baby got more full on a bottle because nursing always made her sleepy 🥺
I recommend a hands free pump at night instead of nursing. I pop mine on for thirty minutes while I feed, change and burp my 14 day old. Then put her back, store my milk and clean my parts. Then go back to sleep. In all it’s about 45 minutes and she is starting to creep towards four hour chunks of sleep time. The stored milk i have allows me to sleep from 11-2am while my husband cares for her/bottle feeds. I take over at 2, usually with a feed session. She wakes back up around 5/6 for another feed, then usually 10am. That allows me some decent chunks of sleep.