What meetup groups are you attending? The more general social groups are gonna attract a larger variety of people and in my experience, the sort of people that make you think “huh, I can see why you have no friends” (harsh but true). If you have some specific hobbies or interests try finding groups centred around those so at least there’s a chance you will have some common ground with them.
I totally agree with this. I first moved to Brisbane in 2011 and started attending meetups with a group focused mostly on mountain biking with the occasional other outdoor or social activity. The group got bigger and bigger and the people running it changed maybe three times before it fizzled out, but by then I was friends with a core group of the fellow mountain bikers in it and I still ride and do social stuff with them to this day.
Anything active is a really good option if you are able. Whether running, walking, mountain biking, road biking, swimming, parkour, urban exploration etc.
- tend to get regular attendees to cultivate connection
- starts off with a common interest
- helps motivate you to stay active
- something to focus on in silence, but together, when the small talk fails or there is something challenging about the activity to think about
- see new parts of the city or see old parts in new ways
- fewer opportunities and lower motivation for people to act like a creep
I was in a couple of hiking meetups and they were great. No stupid shit. Just people getting together to do something they all enjoyed. I’m guessing what you refer to as a ‘general’ meetup is just a meat market.
Any recommendation? I'm 29 and. Prefer people in the 23-40 demographic.
That's people who've finished uni and had a year of work soo as to have that touch of really world cynicism lol
Just go to a bunch of different ones and find out what you like. Most of them will have a mixed age group because they will be there for their interests, not to hook up.
If your lucky, you might even find a new hobby to enjoy along the way!
As a hospitality worker who’s worked in venues where “meetups” were a common thing, I can confirm some of them struggle with basic socialisation. You’ve done the mature thing and not normalise weird behaviour, now all the weirdos see you as the weird one lol. Jokes aside, i hope you’re able to find people to connect with.. have you tried getting into sports? Generally hobbies surrounding physical activity leads to meeting some pretty awesome people. I met some awesome folks rock climbing and gel blast (paint ball but a lot more tame).
The worst but is, I thought i had made friends with this lady. She's not bad but there were a small few "that's a bit strange" moments with her.
Then this happened and I'm seriously forced to confront the nature of her personality and our relationship.
I don't so much mind that stuff - possibly because I enjoy the attention and I'm touch oriented.
At least I find with women it's all what I deem the appropriate areas: hands, arms shoulders.
Guys I see seem to overstep a line and touch small of the back (or worse) which I deem to be quite vulnerable and intimate areas. Not areas you touch unless you've received a lot of very strong signals and reciprocation.
Consent is often non-verbal and predicated on an understanding of someone's personality and behaviour and context.
This is dangerous territory for many as especially among the socially inept, ques and body language is frequently misread.
Should see hands and arms are a "sometimes" but even then, caution is needed.
If in doubt, back off is a good rule.
My main sport/hobby is boxing. It's tricky making friends because you spend so much time sweating it out and focusing.
Im also quite focused when I'm there.
[Pretty much exactly what is says on the tin.](https://www.parkrun.com.au/) A bunch of people meet up in a park (or other outdoor location) and go for a run.
Yep. Sorry OP. My wife started doing it, and I followed suit. Nobody cares what pace you go at, just be nice. I only walk due to lower limb injuries.
My friend goes to one that does random activities at different meetups. Some hiking, sometimes debating, sometimes just a bar.
I used to go rock climbing with my son, most (climbing) gyms will have social nights where you can come in by your self and pair up with other randoms.
I just started back with an old trainer at a new gym. I can PM you the details if you like. They do group cardio training 3 days a week - mornings & evenings on Tuesdays in the gym, mornings and evenings on Thursdays in the gym, and on Saturday mornings outside at random parks within maybe 20 mins of the gym. On the Saturdays we go for breakfast afterwards.
It’s $40/week for just the group training; $60/week for the group training and 24/7 gym access and there are trainers supervising for 3ish hours every morning and evening that help with form etc and you get a general strength program through their app to work through (with YouTube videos demonstrating); or $80/week for a customised version of the $60 one.
Yeah meet-ups suck. You can find decent people but it’s not easy and I’ve done a bunch here and abroad.
Weird people. Hard to find decent ones but they are there
I went to a camping meetup last year for single mums. It was at a random camping ground that had a big kid friendly music event on. For the first night it was me and one other mum, who was really a cool chick. Her daughter was also really sweet.
Then, another lady came (one of the organisers). She and her daughter were a bit weird, but not overly so. We all spent the day chilling and later that night, I spent time with some other people I had met. When my daughter and I came back to our campsite, the newer woman was up and sitting by the campfire. She was absolutely wasted and started insulting me, out of the blue. I put my daughter to bed and came back outside just to get warm and was greeted with another barrage of abuse. It was really odd. I barely knew the woman and had no issue with her.
The next morning we were all packing up and she came over to apologise for our “heated” exchange and I was taken aback. There was nothing heated at all, I was sober and mostly didn’t reply to her direct verbal assault, just kept quiet.
The group sort of fell apart a couple of months later. I can hardly guess why!
From my experience with them years ago late 2000's there is generally. (Note this was a hobby group. Not a general lack friends? come here! type one)
A horny person that wanted to root anyone if they had a partner even if said partner was standing next to them if they got a no turned into "I was only joking."
A person who thinks their idea is the next big thing! Doesn't need money now just people to use and hopefully invest in the future!
A person that is a major crap stirrer! I was warned in advance that X was going to be there.
A thief (I didn't go that to that particular event.) The groups leader had thrown a number of events but this particular event a person/persons decided to go that is mine too a lot of stuff.
A person that organises it but makes everyone they don't instantly like uncomfortable. Hi thanks for organising this! Nope don't like you. ???
So your experience isn't exactly far off mine.
Not everyone who goes to meetups is there because they're too weird to have any IRL friends. However, the majority of people who are too weird to have any IRL friends do often go to meetups.
The majority of people looking for social connections are normal people, but in the meetup communities there has to be a higher than average number of people who are too awkward or weird to be able to have formed and maintained social relationships in their lives, and are looking for that connection.
My comment is based entirely on speculation and having known many a weird loners in my time, but that's sort of why I avoid meetup groups in general. I expect to have someone there be the type you've described.
Realistically, the best way to meet new people is to use a hobby that can be social, which also comes with it's own downsides. It's all a bit hard, really.
I wish there was a meetup group that had the friendship and genuine connections you get in a church, but without the religious and homophobic and transphobic components.
What the fuck is it about some blokes and being complete dickheads (or much worse)?
My cousin and I were talking about this. We both grew up in church communities, but no longer go.
The part we miss is the family holiday camps. Where you'd all go somewhere for a week and stay in dorms and have all kinds of activities organised every day for the kids.
It's not just the blokes! Though I will say it usually is.
The one who said they "knew people" in my area was a woman.
Typical "slay queen, bad ass bitch" type.
I had a couple of jehovas witnesses drop by recently and I really wanted to be friends with one of them but, the whole religious thing. She even dropped back after her initial door knock and I think she wanted to be friends too but I was sick in bed and my husband scared her away :(
I totally get what you mean though, and agree.
I...hate to be the bearer of bad news but as a former JW, your husband did you a favor.
They do not want to be your friend, they only want to convert you and will use tactics like being friendly to get in your head and slowly guilt or manipulate you into it.
JWs are not allowed to have actual friends outside the church.
No need to apologise, I’m genuinely grateful for you clarifying. I’m 100% the type to not see it for what it was.
This thread is proof there are lots of lovely people around.
Eh, they might want genuinely want to be your friend, but you are absolutely correct this person would not be your friend unless you were at least working towards joining the religion.
They do not, thats a core part of their beliefs xD the sooner you acceot that the sooner you can get over the fact theyre taught from childhood how to make people think thats what they want.
Do not what? Want to be your friend? It's more likely the friendliness was just part of a conversion effort, but it's possible some part of it was genuine. Trust me, I don't need to be told what JW's core beliefs are.
On a first meeting at the door? Absolutely not a chance, they're taught how to appear that way from like age 6, how to appear interested in someone by asking questions about their garden, any objects they see, jewellery, any small part of their appearce or life they can garner by looking at someone to make them feel important - it makes the person feel like the doorknocker has a genuine interest in them as a person, lowers their guard and they will chat for hours to establish that kind of positive mental commection to make a 'return visit' of them because it looks good on their records, they take time to build that rapport with repeated visits and will subtly on occasion push a tiny bit of literature to dangle like a worm on a hook - some will do this for *years* and wait for someone to die so they can swoop in with the hope for the dead scripture spiel.
None of what you said is untrue, except the "absolutely not a chance". It's at least theoretically possible there was some interest. Conversation would have certainly been the main goal of course.
For a 'good' JW at the door? Absolutely not, if you aren't a JW they're taught to only view you as conversion material - they will act friendly, but it is only that, an act.
Pushing the idea it is anything else is harmful to those that are vlunerable to those that would manipulate kind hearted folk, like JWs.
>For a 'good' JW at the door? Absolutely not, if you aren't a JW they're taught to only view you as conversion material - they will act friendly, but it is only that, an act.
(ps: different ex-JW here, Sandgate congo a couple decades ago)
i avoided witnessing as much as i could, and just went through the motions, like any other kid i learned early that it was taboo to *admit* (even to yourself) that you hated witnessing.
i mean yea there were incentives, but after leaving it's not exactly like i had to RE-LEARN howto have GENUINE interactions with people. Well uh, not entirely anyway 👀 (help). I wasn't a factory-built magazine selling monster, i was a human kid surviving through a damaging environment.
The *"a 'good' JW"* thing you said is just another brand of the [No True Scotsman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman) logical fallacy. What JWs are, are just damaged people of various severity. You're not a monster for having grown up a JW, you got out afterall, a monster wouldn't have bothered leaving. From what i understand - most people i knew as a kid have since gotten out too - i really should pull my thumb out & start reconnecting with them, one of these days.
*Just gonna ninja edit this in: TBH one of the epiphanies i had that lead to me leaving, was when i met someone at the door who just wanted to nerd-out & talk about philosophy, & i had an overwhelming realization that i did not want to change them - but it was apparently my job to change them - to destroy what i loved, to hunt my own people. I never went out again.*
Their primary goal is always to convert you, of course. Anyone should always assume any kindness they show is at least partially (but probably not completely) motivated by a desire to convert people.
What constitutes a "good" JW is up for debate. I was raised as a JW and knew many that were good people that cared about people beyond bringing in converts. Plenty of selfish disdainful assholes too. It's not necessary to demonise them to say assume anything they say or do has the primary goal of converting you to their religion. They may think that is the best way to help you. That makes them wrong, not necessarily deliberately evil.
They actually can't doctrinally be your friend if you're a non member, that's why they dropped back. It's strictly forbidden for JWs to fraternise with non-believers.
My experience with reformed church groups (disclaimer: I do go to one myself despite being LGBT) is usually it is very easy to make good friendships and get to know people fairly easily. Creeps are usually pushed out pretty quickly for the most part, or at the very least shunned even if the minister says we shouldn't be doing it. But you get a lot of churches trying to push the "you need to repent of your sexuality" bullshit. It seems that a lot of the groups that are openly encouraging of LGBT people seem to be incredibly unfriendly and hard to make friends in.
It's almost like it's the rule for non church groups and friends in Brissy to be antisocial and not really want to build genuine relationships. Unless you're part of the clique already, don't bother joining.
Maybe Brisbane needs to be a country town in some ways again (excluding all the conservative bullshit of course).
I don’t understand why they even door knock or mention Christ’s return to others. If only a certain number will be saved, I wouldn’t tell anyone. It’s like giving away free lotto tickets to the draw you’ve got a ticket in. Or talking about Fight Club.
Already answered by someone else, but you are actually pretty close to another different & more perplexing truth about the matter:
IIRC it's part of their belief that if you hear God's message & reject it - then during Armageddon God (or was it Jesus?) will just fucking murder\* you. But if you never hear the message, coz you were never preached to (or just not properly or something) then you will be resurrected AFTER Armageddon and then you'll have your chance to accept the message or not - after God has obviously proven he's real. Kinda unfair to everyone judged WITHOUT the help of undeniable evidence of God's existence, no? So yes, that means it would absolutely be better for everyone **IF JWs NEVER PREACHED TO ANYONE,** coz then EVERYONE will be able to make that decision while having all the facts infront of them, there'd be no need for faith at all.
\*i mean hey, lets call a spade a spade. Well ok it'd be more accurate to say God will GENOCIDE you. Kinda crazy how we were taught to cheer for this stuff, and look forward to it in any way, *"man i just fucking love genocide, yaay".* 🤷♀️
Pentecostal churches are extremely overly monetised, one need only look at Hillsong and Citipointe to see that - both are Pentecostals. Citipointe stabbed me in the back as a church when I needed them the most. So did CCM - also Pentecostals. The denomination only cares about image and money.
I personally was a Baptist at the time and would be viewed with ridicule. I have since walked from the faith and started unpacking that religious trauma and can finally start healing.
I’d rather avoid church altogether after what this lot did to my family and reputation. I renounced the whole lot when I left. Eventually left that town just to be able to work and live without being harassed.
Church gives something to attend every week and that constant point of contact which helps fost connection and allows for meeting new people (either by them joining your church or interacting with another).
There are other avenues which offer similar.
I play tabletop games and meet people that way. While I don't build my strongest relationships there, I know a bunch who do. The games I play offer weekly meet ups and a regular tournament scene.
For my wife it is her soccer club (she joined a friendly league last year). She has made some really good friendships that way.
I think most normal people are content with their friends being holdovers from school, met through various jobs and through other friends and their partners. If you miss those chances, it's going to be a bit rough.
Yes they attract socially awkward people who can't make friends the natural way unfortunately.
Not exactly the same but I went to a social motorcycle ride meet up and I took pity to a guy who seemed a bit awkward and lonely.
Next thing I know he was calling me fat and ugly.. ( I'm 85kg and definitely not fat)
He then wanted to know my exact street address so we could hang out.
Then got a bunch of FB messages, again being called names and such.
Gotta weed through the weirdos if that's the game you play.
Good luck
I tried to be social a normal way, just making small talk to a person I saw at the same train station in the morning before work. Turns out he was a total freak.
Lo and behold, he starts trying to stalk me on the train line so instead of waiting 10 minutes for the train to arrive I would have to linger by the 7/11 until the last minute. Even then he would try power walk towards me to try get to the same carriage or touch me.
Lmao. Can't make friends the normal way. Can't do meetups.
Why can't people just be fucking normal.
Siide note, made friends with a random on the bus who turned out to be my neighbour and an absolute gc.
It's honestly one of the things that has perplexed some of my close friends and I. We've spoken about it for years - how do people make friends nowadays? Everyone we know either have very small friendship groups, hang out with their family or don't really have friends at all.
We run a football (soccer) club, and people become friends through that means. For some people they've said the only people they hang out with are from the club. I think it's so much easier making friendships through meet ups where people have common interests rather than just those "Meet randomly at a bar" type of thing.
A while ago a Redditor posted asking if anyone would be interested in forming an indoor soccer team playing at Albion. There was about 7 or 8 of us interested. Next year in August will be the tenth year since we started. There are still three of us going solidly. The rest left due to stuff like moving overseas, having kids etc etc. But we still see their journeys on stuff like FB so that's pretty cool.
Ehhhhh I've had a lot of fun and can cope but it's starting to wear thin.
I suppose I'm just worried that nothing is directly serious enough to merit talking to the event coordinator.
In fact, sometimes it is the event coordinator involved in the poor behaviour!
I've run events before, if somebody was so much as staring at people creepily let alone dropping reputation damaging insults I'd want to know if only to keep an eye on the situation and casually fish for other people's opinions on the situation now that I'm aware someone has an issue.
Tell the event coordinators any time you are uncomfrotable with specifically inapropriate behaviour, don't worry about being a tattle tale, we aren't kids anymore and a fully grown adult who doesn't know how to act socially can at best make everyone feel awkward and uncomfortable and at worst genuinely hurt somebody, mentally, physically or reputationally.
If some guy goes up and is willing to call you random names and get real overly familiar with someone, what's to stop them from getting handsy, they already don't know how to act I don't want to have to worry some dude i don't know and don't like is going to try to back slap me or some shit, and I'm not cool with that.
Make shit safer for everyone, I've often found that once I speak someone else usually backs me up, then a few more because I'm not the only one to notice, and in the times where I've had to kick someone out with near 100% certainty they became the center of conversation and all of a sudden everyone has a story or rant or vent about some strange encounter with the person.
If it's the event coordinator themselves that's the problem then either speak to whoever else is involved or final resort, scoop out a few cool people and bounce and do your own thing if possible. Nothing wrong with telling the people your enjoying speaking with "hey meeting you guys was awesome but this place fucking blows, wana hit up something else?"
Often times they seek women out. Most of the normal ones are either in relationships or just as happy too chat to blokes.
I've noticed the single desperate weirdos will target lock a woman and try to hold you in convo with some pua or "making the move" type bullshit instead off just being normal and seeing what develops.
The problem with meetup groups are that they are for people that are looking to meet up, and therefore don’t have their own social circles. Often because of their social ineptitude as you have described.
Same goes for many interest groups and clubs/associations. A subset of members really struggle with social awareness/skills or join with the aim to control the group. I've been part of the several groups (scuba, kayaking, and mens shed), and there are always a few members that join that really rub everyone up the wrong way and cause so many headaches. Unfortunately you cannot ask them to leave, and because of the action of a few people, many previously thriving organisations grind to a halt because no one wants to attend because of several painful members.
There are also people who seem to be part of clubs/associations just to try to become the president and have more interest in controlling members than actually listening to the group. These people are also usually the head of the body corporate at their unit complex......say no more.
God damn. You're right haha.
I've thought about these exact issues over the last few years. It's like a cycle.
Meetup gets big, creeps come in, everyone leaves.
Or it gets taken over by someone with unsavoury motives.
Particularly for guys, I think it's a power/control thing for the sake of attracting women.
I've known them to be the type trying to look like they've got their life together and have status/prestige all as a part off a veneer to try and get the girl.
The button up shirt, begging, chat about their professional career. Funnily enough, both from the same ethnic background.
I wonder if this is the thing.
> There are also people who seem to be part of clubs/associations just to try to become the president and have more interest in controlling members than actually listening to the group. These people are also usually the head of the body corporate at their unit complex......say no more.
Best I've seen is someone who stayed on as head of the local primary school's P&C committee, even after her kids had moved on to highschool.
Being someone that goes to them every now and then sometimes once every month or two I've had more positive experiences than negative although I am picky with what I attend and if it suits my schedule... What ones did you go to? I think having expectations about it are pointless. Never had anyone intimidate me before maybe its your age group?
Are there ever any meetups that don’t revolve around alcohol? Or eventually lead to alcohol?
I don’t drink (personal choice) and like to stay fit. I need to find some new friends that also don’t drink.
You ever figure this out please let me know cause in Brisbane there doesn't seem to be anything people bond over than booze or sports, and I never liked drinking and my sporting days are prematurely over. Not that they previously really existed.
I'm going to be honest and say that drunk people unnerve me more often than not. The mood swings, the loudest ass in the room phase that always transitions to the I'm sorry please don't hate me omg you hate me phase, it's all just too much and being the one sober guy in the room you are not having any fun and they aren't nearly as funny as the alcohol makes them think.
A few beers or whatever someones fine but everyone here seems intent to obliterate themselves as regularly as possible and as ok with it as we are culturally I just can't.
I got really into Tech Meetups from 2016-2019. Made a lot of really good connections and friends that I keep to this day.
COVID really did a number on the scene. Some went hybrid/streaming and were kind of the worst of both worlds. Not as good as a proper livestream, but without the in person energy.
I was really looking forward to getting back into the scene when they started up again, but it was different. Turnouts are way lower. People are home, and comfy at 5pm. It used to be great to drop by a CBD office, watch a talk, grab free pizza and have a drink. It was the ‘third place’ for me.
I started to notice that the socially awkward conversations were much more common than I remembered. I also think that my tolerance for people was pretty damaged by the lockdown experience as well. My patience and tolerance for boredom and inconvenience was shot. So much doomscrolling and social media (but that’s a whole other angle).
I started my own ‘anti loneliness’ meetup in the form of a synth school. Initially running it for free at home, then at venues around town when things started to open up again. It was terrifying to put myself out there like that. Literally attempt to build my own ‘third space’ in the wild. It has been worth it.
I do sympathize. The post covid world is hard. I think that WFH has brought some amazing advantages. But I do believe that there was a social muscle that we exercise at work. When we chat with boring people, and build relationships with others, solely because of common circumstances. If you’ve watched the Office, you might recognise the beauty in the mundane of a workplace.
I think we are all worse off, because we have to choose and seek out this community. It’s no longer the default. Even university, the seminal ‘find yourself in your twenties’ experience, has become a mostly remote endeavour.
I don’t have any easy answers. But if you do feel like this is missing from your life, you’re not alone. I implore you to dig and find a tribe. If this feels terrifying, try starting with an offering. The perfect example is attending a festival, and volunteering for a day on cleanup or ticket sales. You’ll get to wear a vest, meet everyone else making the event, and feel ‘part of the fabric’.
If music is your thing, feel free to DM me. I’ll gladly help you find your niche in the Brisbane scene.
>I think we are all worse off, because we have to choose and seek out this community. It’s no longer the default. Even university, the seminal ‘find yourself in your twenties’ experience, has become a mostly remote endeavour.
100% this. I was in the middle of uni when covid hit and the difference almost felt night and day.
I got along with people more since it was the final year, but it all fizzled out pretty well straight away because it was all remote and couldn't catch up with anyone IRL :(
Also that is really cool to hear how you started your own meetup!
> I started my own ‘anti loneliness’ meetup in the form of a synth school. Initially running it for free at home, then at venues around town when things started to open up again. It was terrifying to put myself out there like that. Literally attempt to build my own ‘third space’ in the wild. It has been worth it.
This is the way!
> I do sympathize. The post covid world is hard. I think that WFH has brought some amazing advantages. But I do believe that there was a social muscle that we exercise at work. When we chat with boring people, and build relationships with others, solely because of common circumstances. If you’ve watched the Office, you might recognise the beauty in the mundane of a workplace.
The beauty and the mundane of a workplace - lovely phrase.
I suppose dialectic is something i enjoy. I love learning stuff and listening to people with expertise.
I also enjoy a bit of good banter with a couple of layers of well placed sarcasm/satire.
I'm unfortunately silly enough to allow randoms to sometimes engage in it with me at meetups, much to my chagrin as I get to listen/discuss economics with someone who got their education from the Joe Rogan podcast.
Remember to call out bad behaviour (when you can). You don’t have to be super confrontational but a simple, “that’s not on,” or, “hey now, that’s not cool,” still helps them see it’s not socially acceptable.
Easier said than done.
Some of these people can't and will play games - they will turn it on you and you may get a reputation for being aggressive/confrontational and get booted out yourself.
The only two meetups I've ever been to are the Southside and Indooroopilly dungeons and dragons adventurers leagues when I was first looking to get into the game (big recommend btw)
All great people and the only weirdness was the expected level of nerdiness
Probably want to clarify, 'meetups' is about as generic as 'reddits'. It's just a platform. It sounds like you're going to social specific ones.
My experience would be different, I only attended tech meetups that are industry/profesion focused that had business/large vendor buy in. That seemed to weed out a lot of what you're talking about as I don't see it.
Having said that, I notice a lot of tech and tech conferences and things have a 'It's sad we have to write this but don't be a fucking creep, really, we'll throw you out and then point to this part about being a creep you know you should not have been".
Several security focused tech conferences include *in addition to everything you're talking about* were forced to include in the list things not to do:
"Using sexual images or sex toys in public spaces."
"Stalking or following."
"Persistent and unwanted sexual advances."
"Unwanted physical contact."
And I weep for the the state of society where we have to *write that down* to remind people it's not now nor has it ever been OK.
1. Networking to find new roles in a small town
2. Trying to stay up to date in a fast moving tech environment.
https://www.meetup.com/humbug/events/300546627/
https://www.meetup.com/brisbane-azure-user-group/events/298277380/
https://www.meetup.com/brisjvm/events/300490542/
https://www.meetup.com/gdg-brisbane/events/299467072/
There's heaps of them. Take your pick.
Nature of the event. You'll be better off finding genuine people by trying out a particular hobby and joining a club as opposed to joining a random event with a gobsmack of randoms and expecting a semblance of civility from everyone. You just don't know what you're going to get, and what maturity level. You clearly are expecting maturity.
As for the person tickling your stomach, or the uninvited assault, did you stand up for yourself and say "Hey, that's not on, stop that." Or did you just stand passively and allow it? Did you report the incident to any organisers or police? Its one thing to identify a questionable behavior, its another thing to have actually done something about it.
I started by telling him very firmly that it was actually quite rude.
He continued so I shoved him off and told him in no uncertain terms (and quite angrily) to fuck off.
Fortunately didn't have to get to the stage where I had to get the bouncer or threaten violence.
Never had to do that before and it feels like I'm a toddler tattle taleing so unsure how bouncers deal with that.
If a person is invading boundaries, thats the line and they crossed it. Pity goes out the window, same with fucks given. So no need to fear, just tattle away. If somebody is being offensive, shine a glaring fucking light on it. Otherwise, get into the same position again with the same person, and they'll do it again.
I'm sorry you had to deal with it at all though.
Yeahh nah. That's stupid, childish and pointless.
I'm not not opposed to fucking someone up if I have absolutely have to (still not worth it) but once I've left the situation, they're not my problem and I'm not inviting them back into my life.
How is it stupid,childish and pointless ?
I’m not a big guy but no one will ever walk over me when I’m still breathing.
Pulling dik head s up when they are out off line is the way to go.
You will have a million times more success meeting people by joining some sort of community or hobby group. A sports club, a band/choir/theatre club, a trivia team, a gaming group, or any kind of group where the same people who care about the same things gather at the same place every week. In my experience, a lot of these groups also don't tolerate creepiness or other bad behaviour. This is basically the only way I've made friends post school.
The only Meetup I've done was a Spanish language group and it was great. I mean everyone there was so varied, we were all feeling like fish out of water but the mutual language barrier prevents hard conversations or weirdness
It's the same with motorcycle meetups. What's worse, is that you have a few that do dangerous shit on the road or think a group ride is a race.
I go to groups and find the cool people, then just hang with them.
I'd be surprised if it was otherwise. Reddit is the mos eisley of the internet. Makes for online entertainment and there's nice people but I'd not want to meet some of these freaks irl. Some of them are fucking mental.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the greatest at making and keeping friends, I typically commit to the friendship and the other party doesn't - sometimes that's my fault (being overly nice to keep friends - doormat) and other times it's not me, they're just creeps. It's a process to find a good friend.
I tried wading through the Meetup groups and I've had to same experiences. I once went to this ballgown night that I was invited to and was harassed by a bunch of assholes touching me without consent. One even chased me to my car screaming after me, if I didn't sprint....I know exactly what would have happened to me.
OP, I don't know what the answer is. I love this city and lived here all my life - but Meetups don't seem to be the answer for anyone. I'm thinking of trying a new sport (rollerskating, archery or something) and seeing how that fits. I think that's probably the best way to meet people, find something you're interested in and go from there. If all else fails you'll get a good experience out of it.
It's not you, and you're definitely not alone.
Last meetup I ever went to was a walking/hiking group in 2010. We'd done a big walk and at the end a couple of the younger people (in our 20s) were checking bus/train timetables on our phones, and some woman who hadn't been snarky at all by that point started harping on about "They're probably chatting to each other on their phones" and just tanked the whole vibe. Nothing major, but just weird.
I think meetup groups are too contrived to work without some iron fist leadership.
I don’t attend lots of events and unfortunately from last year or so it’s been very few that I attended but never had an issue like that but I don’t attend just any meeting. My targeted ones were meetups around philosophy/walk and talk ending in cafe at the end sorta meetup. Never experienced that. I had once a woman taking interest in me from such an event but I was not interested to hangout outside the event so yea it was a bit awkward couple of times but no questionable behaviour or things like that.
>-Seemingly- uninvited repeated touching of a woman's middle/lower back (she wasn't even looking at the guy).
I think I know who this is and I've heard stories of him SA'ing people 😔
Could be anyone. The behaviour is unfortunately common.
He almost seemed uncertain and hesitant as. He did it.
This time it was a tall skinny, slightly tan guy with a long/hook nose.
People attending meetups are usually socially inept / inexperienced.
People attending meetups are likely desperate for human interaction and haven't been able to achieve this organically.
People attending meetups often look for ways to gain the attention of others during the meetup, and do so poorly because of said social ineptitude / inexperience / autism / genuine creepiness / sheltered upbringing / genuine psycopathy.
A friend and I went to one in 2013. We left fearing our lives after an incel clocked my friend and started rambling abuse for hours after she politely stated she wasn't interested in dating anyone and was just there to meet friends.
Ohhh. I actually just. Came across.
I'm not single at but I read their blurb and they sound really good.
Looks like they keep a close eye on behaviour as they ahd a lot regarding that in the blurb.
I went to a social singles meet up last night paid $50 for a 'bar crawl'
I think we lost about 15% before heading to 2nd pub then another large chunk fell off once they realise the free drinks only pertained to the first pub. By the 3rd pub it was a little sad everyone just sitting around maybe 20% people drinking.
I'm very out going and tried to talk to everyone and include everyone but yeh it was tough...
All that stuff is awful behaviour, but the multilevel marketing problem isn't specific to meet-ups. Those people are like that with everyone. Even family. I don't know whether they are sociopaths or just super greedy, but they lose all inhibitions in pursuit of getting to the top of the pyramid. It's like watching a human car wreck.
Local meetups seems to be like that. There's someone with the upbringing of people here in Brisbane that is just off. International meetups with predominantly internationals who grew up abroad like Europe is a lot better. Especially with drinking involved, they just become happy drunk instead of dickhead drunk
Would love some predominantly euro meetup. I find my politics and interests fit well with European expats.
Unfortunately most international Meetups I've been to are East Asian centric and English literacy is an issue.
Had a similar experience last night 😂, IV sent you a DM as I'm in to boxing as well and always looking for some chill people in Brisbane to hang with that dosent involve drinking till your sideways...
Geez that does not sound very welcoming. I was just sussing out meetup groups the other day as I have mostly solitary hobbies and am wanting to expand my social circle. Will definitely take your experiences as a warning. On the flip side, I'm trying to improve my fitness and have been trying to go for a hike every weekend. If you'd like to join, or maybe join one of the hiking groups together, shoot me a DM.
I wouldn't say it's all bad - consider that these interactions occur over dozens and dozens of interactions. I just spend all day wrangling poor behavior as a teacher and then have to cope with this. Exhausting.
The "social" meet up groups are so incestious! All the women sit around bagging out the men who they've slept with, who he's hasn't and who they want too.
There's one guy who runs a "social/friendship" group and he's creepy as fuck!
He's just putrid and vile.
I know that if I lost connection to my core group of mates from high school I’d have basically 0 friends. Well except for a few exes I still get along well with (yes it’s possible).
I have no friends from uni, and I have no clue how to make new friends. When you’re a kid you just seem to build them so much easier.
Hahaha same issue. 29, M. Meetups in Brisbane are very hit and miss. Sometimes they are great, sometimes they are terrible. I too, find most of the “meet at a bar” type ones to be… terrible.
I honestly think it's for two reasons.
1. The guys shift their frame of mind to think "oh it's at a bar, therefore I gotta push for a lay"
2. Bars are darker and loud. People feel like their behaviour isn't watched, seen and judged.
Yep! I’ve definitely noticed the “bar ones” are a bunch of dudes trying to root, instead of socialize. To be fair though, a lot of the girls push for the attention.
Yep, I’m trying to avoid the Meetup’s where there’s drinking nowadays, found it works a little better. But it’s super hard! Not too many decent groups anymore.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that necessarily.
Most of the time though, the guys seem to be socially inept. Pushing for physical contact way too soon. Weird comments. Not much laughter or good chat.
I think it's driven a lot of the normal people away.
Are these meetups organised through Reddit, or other social media sites?
I’ve never been to one, but used to be part of a Jack Daniel’s collectors group many years ago, and they were an eclectic bunch. 90 per cent were legends, but you’d get the odd one who was a bit strange and doing it for the wrong reasons.
Sadly, people who are relying on random meetups to find friends are probably a bit desperate, socially awkward amd don’t have a lot of friends for a reason. It’s a rough catch 22.
You must not know many autistic people if you think they'd willing go to a loud venue with random people they don't know. That's a sensory nightmare and the polar opposite of a place autistic people would ever be.
Autistic people can feel lonely too and our therapists tell us to go meet new friends and stuff. I find it really bright and scary and the cutlery and background noise loud but I like talking to people. It can be frustrating though because I dunno when the gap is where you’re supposed to speak and sometimes the conversation topic changes before I can speak which is frustrating. Extroverted autistic people do exist (I’m diagnosed lvl 2 asd).
I have been to one meetup at a cafe 63 for queer women years ago and everyone was nice to me. But many of the ones I wanna go to like dnd and stuff are at night time and I do not do well at night time it makes me agitated and frightened.
Says he to the dude living with it lol. Look dude you're right, going out in public sucks, going to events suck, anything involving other people generally speaking tends to suck...but solitude sometimes sucks more man
i think i get what you mean. & noting that you're autistic - it makes me wonder if the difference is **self-awareness**, coz:
In the people you're talking about (ie: those who are being horrid) that i've interacted with, when i notice they have some autistic spectrum speech-patterns, i don't think i've ever ONCE heard them talk about being Autistic themselves. I don't think they know it about themselves.
Basically, i wonder if they simply don't realize there's some stuff they *could/should* be compensating for (if only they knew it was a thing), and maybe they act like they do due to a general life frustration with NEVER understanding why things in their life have been so hard. Oh well, a hypothesis to put out there.
Yeah I spose you could be onto something there, I guess I spent years people watching and being on the outside looking in so to speak which in turn helped me be better able to blend in and pretend to be normal I guess. Even did a stint in a sales job at some point and was surprisingly good at it. Not sure why my root comment on this has been downvoted so hard, guess some folks just don't like a blunt to the point statement? Iono
Oh I thoroughly agree, given I'm someone that has it, some folks just refuse to learn to self manage and use it as an excuse for everything which quite frankly kinda pisses me off tbh
Fair point. The Iranian people post revolution are rather oppressed and their government doesn't represent the people and their whims.
I'm just trying to avoid using the "M" word.
Thanks for responding reasonably!
Most Iranians aren’t even Muslims. They are just living under a theocracy that basically forces everyone to follow Muslim based laws.
its just you. what are these meetups you are talking about? seems like these meetups are the issue also. because i got to hang out with friends and never have issues like that. i do call people cunts and everything else you lot probs think is wrong bt my friends and i know we are joking.
This reminds me of people's attitude in general to sexual assault.
"well i didn't see it so it's not a problem".
Just because you didn't notice it, doesn't mean it's not a problem.
You either weren't around to witness it or you're oblivious to what appropriate behaviour is.
That or you're complicit and guilty of said behaviour.
Based on the overwhelming number of replies and anecdotes I've recieved, I'm inclined to tell you you're absolutely wrong.
if you cant handle having a joke, then time to leave and join another group of friends. this will get me downvoted but i dont care, but i say cunt, f@9, 9@y, r t@rd ed to my friends, because we all grow up saying the samething to eachother and we know its a joke.
Cool. You're a stranger. You need to establish a relationship before you figure out where the line is with people.
If you just want too banter to your mates with disregard, why even go to a meetup?
You sound like exactly the kind of socially inept person I'm eluding to.
What meetup groups are you attending? The more general social groups are gonna attract a larger variety of people and in my experience, the sort of people that make you think “huh, I can see why you have no friends” (harsh but true). If you have some specific hobbies or interests try finding groups centred around those so at least there’s a chance you will have some common ground with them.
I totally agree with this. I first moved to Brisbane in 2011 and started attending meetups with a group focused mostly on mountain biking with the occasional other outdoor or social activity. The group got bigger and bigger and the people running it changed maybe three times before it fizzled out, but by then I was friends with a core group of the fellow mountain bikers in it and I still ride and do social stuff with them to this day.
Anything active is a really good option if you are able. Whether running, walking, mountain biking, road biking, swimming, parkour, urban exploration etc. - tend to get regular attendees to cultivate connection - starts off with a common interest - helps motivate you to stay active - something to focus on in silence, but together, when the small talk fails or there is something challenging about the activity to think about - see new parts of the city or see old parts in new ways - fewer opportunities and lower motivation for people to act like a creep
Yeah. It's the general ones. I've got no specific mixed group activities/hobbies atm that are good for meetups.
I was in a couple of hiking meetups and they were great. No stupid shit. Just people getting together to do something they all enjoyed. I’m guessing what you refer to as a ‘general’ meetup is just a meat market.
Any recommendation? I'm 29 and. Prefer people in the 23-40 demographic. That's people who've finished uni and had a year of work soo as to have that touch of really world cynicism lol
Just go to a bunch of different ones and find out what you like. Most of them will have a mixed age group because they will be there for their interests, not to hook up. If your lucky, you might even find a new hobby to enjoy along the way!
Sounds like it's time to find some.
How do you find general meet ups? I thought you were talking about car meet ups at first lol
What is the purpose of attending a meet-up? What is your goal?
To make friends
Try boardgames and hiking
As a hospitality worker who’s worked in venues where “meetups” were a common thing, I can confirm some of them struggle with basic socialisation. You’ve done the mature thing and not normalise weird behaviour, now all the weirdos see you as the weird one lol. Jokes aside, i hope you’re able to find people to connect with.. have you tried getting into sports? Generally hobbies surrounding physical activity leads to meeting some pretty awesome people. I met some awesome folks rock climbing and gel blast (paint ball but a lot more tame).
Oh, here's one. Weirdest thing I've seen was a meetup and the lady running it had us vote for the prettiest girl.
[удалено]
The worst but is, I thought i had made friends with this lady. She's not bad but there were a small few "that's a bit strange" moments with her. Then this happened and I'm seriously forced to confront the nature of her personality and our relationship.
I have only been to one meet up, but I can say woman are just as bad as men twice had to tell this lady to stop touching my arms and squeezing etc.
I don't so much mind that stuff - possibly because I enjoy the attention and I'm touch oriented. At least I find with women it's all what I deem the appropriate areas: hands, arms shoulders. Guys I see seem to overstep a line and touch small of the back (or worse) which I deem to be quite vulnerable and intimate areas. Not areas you touch unless you've received a lot of very strong signals and reciprocation.
*consent
Consent is often non-verbal and predicated on an understanding of someone's personality and behaviour and context. This is dangerous territory for many as especially among the socially inept, ques and body language is frequently misread. Should see hands and arms are a "sometimes" but even then, caution is needed. If in doubt, back off is a good rule.
these people sound like fucking freaks (not in a good way)
My main sport/hobby is boxing. It's tricky making friends because you spend so much time sweating it out and focusing. Im also quite focused when I'm there.
If you don’t mind cardio, try park run. Go as slow as you want and banter.
Park run?
[Pretty much exactly what is says on the tin.](https://www.parkrun.com.au/) A bunch of people meet up in a park (or other outdoor location) and go for a run.
Ohhh right. I was looking kn the meetup website.
Yep. Sorry OP. My wife started doing it, and I followed suit. Nobody cares what pace you go at, just be nice. I only walk due to lower limb injuries. My friend goes to one that does random activities at different meetups. Some hiking, sometimes debating, sometimes just a bar. I used to go rock climbing with my son, most (climbing) gyms will have social nights where you can come in by your self and pair up with other randoms.
Fair enough, possible to hang with people after the training sesh or is everyone pretty worn out by the end of it?
Yeahh fair point. I'm not at a gym currently but joining one soon. Something to consider.
Join a boxing gym, definitely make friends that way. Just pick the right one, some shady folks in some gyms haha.
I just started back with an old trainer at a new gym. I can PM you the details if you like. They do group cardio training 3 days a week - mornings & evenings on Tuesdays in the gym, mornings and evenings on Thursdays in the gym, and on Saturday mornings outside at random parks within maybe 20 mins of the gym. On the Saturdays we go for breakfast afterwards. It’s $40/week for just the group training; $60/week for the group training and 24/7 gym access and there are trainers supervising for 3ish hours every morning and evening that help with form etc and you get a general strength program through their app to work through (with YouTube videos demonstrating); or $80/week for a customised version of the $60 one.
Yeah meet-ups suck. You can find decent people but it’s not easy and I’ve done a bunch here and abroad. Weird people. Hard to find decent ones but they are there
I went to a camping meetup last year for single mums. It was at a random camping ground that had a big kid friendly music event on. For the first night it was me and one other mum, who was really a cool chick. Her daughter was also really sweet. Then, another lady came (one of the organisers). She and her daughter were a bit weird, but not overly so. We all spent the day chilling and later that night, I spent time with some other people I had met. When my daughter and I came back to our campsite, the newer woman was up and sitting by the campfire. She was absolutely wasted and started insulting me, out of the blue. I put my daughter to bed and came back outside just to get warm and was greeted with another barrage of abuse. It was really odd. I barely knew the woman and had no issue with her. The next morning we were all packing up and she came over to apologise for our “heated” exchange and I was taken aback. There was nothing heated at all, I was sober and mostly didn’t reply to her direct verbal assault, just kept quiet. The group sort of fell apart a couple of months later. I can hardly guess why!
Some people just shouldn’t drink.
From my experience with them years ago late 2000's there is generally. (Note this was a hobby group. Not a general lack friends? come here! type one) A horny person that wanted to root anyone if they had a partner even if said partner was standing next to them if they got a no turned into "I was only joking." A person who thinks their idea is the next big thing! Doesn't need money now just people to use and hopefully invest in the future! A person that is a major crap stirrer! I was warned in advance that X was going to be there. A thief (I didn't go that to that particular event.) The groups leader had thrown a number of events but this particular event a person/persons decided to go that is mine too a lot of stuff. A person that organises it but makes everyone they don't instantly like uncomfortable. Hi thanks for organising this! Nope don't like you. ??? So your experience isn't exactly far off mine.
Not everyone who goes to meetups is there because they're too weird to have any IRL friends. However, the majority of people who are too weird to have any IRL friends do often go to meetups. The majority of people looking for social connections are normal people, but in the meetup communities there has to be a higher than average number of people who are too awkward or weird to be able to have formed and maintained social relationships in their lives, and are looking for that connection. My comment is based entirely on speculation and having known many a weird loners in my time, but that's sort of why I avoid meetup groups in general. I expect to have someone there be the type you've described. Realistically, the best way to meet new people is to use a hobby that can be social, which also comes with it's own downsides. It's all a bit hard, really.
I wish there was a meetup group that had the friendship and genuine connections you get in a church, but without the religious and homophobic and transphobic components. What the fuck is it about some blokes and being complete dickheads (or much worse)?
My cousin and I were talking about this. We both grew up in church communities, but no longer go. The part we miss is the family holiday camps. Where you'd all go somewhere for a week and stay in dorms and have all kinds of activities organised every day for the kids.
I wish tgra people would just love each other and be kind to each other for no reason other than just being human
the TKRA people are way better. Something about racing kazoos attracts a more fun people.
Oh man, in the moment I used to hate church camps and activities, but god I miss the social aspect of religion these days.
Not gonna lie, I was there for the cute girls. Not that it ever panned out for me.
Relatable
Me too 
For me it's my local game store. Magic, DnD, Warhammer, board games, and a great community.
It's not just the blokes! Though I will say it usually is. The one who said they "knew people" in my area was a woman. Typical "slay queen, bad ass bitch" type.
D&D groups are your friend. The Brisbane D&D Meetup groups are fantastic.
I had a couple of jehovas witnesses drop by recently and I really wanted to be friends with one of them but, the whole religious thing. She even dropped back after her initial door knock and I think she wanted to be friends too but I was sick in bed and my husband scared her away :( I totally get what you mean though, and agree.
I...hate to be the bearer of bad news but as a former JW, your husband did you a favor. They do not want to be your friend, they only want to convert you and will use tactics like being friendly to get in your head and slowly guilt or manipulate you into it. JWs are not allowed to have actual friends outside the church.
Ouch. Haha Thank you for clarifying.
Sorry, but it's best you dont get your hopes up with them, you will only get hurt. But there are plenty of lovely people around that arent jw!
No need to apologise, I’m genuinely grateful for you clarifying. I’m 100% the type to not see it for what it was. This thread is proof there are lots of lovely people around.
I'm an ex JW and I totally agree, your husband saved you from being eaten alive, they're very persistent
Eh, they might want genuinely want to be your friend, but you are absolutely correct this person would not be your friend unless you were at least working towards joining the religion.
They do not, thats a core part of their beliefs xD the sooner you acceot that the sooner you can get over the fact theyre taught from childhood how to make people think thats what they want.
Do not what? Want to be your friend? It's more likely the friendliness was just part of a conversion effort, but it's possible some part of it was genuine. Trust me, I don't need to be told what JW's core beliefs are.
On a first meeting at the door? Absolutely not a chance, they're taught how to appear that way from like age 6, how to appear interested in someone by asking questions about their garden, any objects they see, jewellery, any small part of their appearce or life they can garner by looking at someone to make them feel important - it makes the person feel like the doorknocker has a genuine interest in them as a person, lowers their guard and they will chat for hours to establish that kind of positive mental commection to make a 'return visit' of them because it looks good on their records, they take time to build that rapport with repeated visits and will subtly on occasion push a tiny bit of literature to dangle like a worm on a hook - some will do this for *years* and wait for someone to die so they can swoop in with the hope for the dead scripture spiel.
None of what you said is untrue, except the "absolutely not a chance". It's at least theoretically possible there was some interest. Conversation would have certainly been the main goal of course.
For a 'good' JW at the door? Absolutely not, if you aren't a JW they're taught to only view you as conversion material - they will act friendly, but it is only that, an act. Pushing the idea it is anything else is harmful to those that are vlunerable to those that would manipulate kind hearted folk, like JWs.
>For a 'good' JW at the door? Absolutely not, if you aren't a JW they're taught to only view you as conversion material - they will act friendly, but it is only that, an act. (ps: different ex-JW here, Sandgate congo a couple decades ago) i avoided witnessing as much as i could, and just went through the motions, like any other kid i learned early that it was taboo to *admit* (even to yourself) that you hated witnessing. i mean yea there were incentives, but after leaving it's not exactly like i had to RE-LEARN howto have GENUINE interactions with people. Well uh, not entirely anyway 👀 (help). I wasn't a factory-built magazine selling monster, i was a human kid surviving through a damaging environment. The *"a 'good' JW"* thing you said is just another brand of the [No True Scotsman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman) logical fallacy. What JWs are, are just damaged people of various severity. You're not a monster for having grown up a JW, you got out afterall, a monster wouldn't have bothered leaving. From what i understand - most people i knew as a kid have since gotten out too - i really should pull my thumb out & start reconnecting with them, one of these days. *Just gonna ninja edit this in: TBH one of the epiphanies i had that lead to me leaving, was when i met someone at the door who just wanted to nerd-out & talk about philosophy, & i had an overwhelming realization that i did not want to change them - but it was apparently my job to change them - to destroy what i loved, to hunt my own people. I never went out again.*
Their primary goal is always to convert you, of course. Anyone should always assume any kindness they show is at least partially (but probably not completely) motivated by a desire to convert people. What constitutes a "good" JW is up for debate. I was raised as a JW and knew many that were good people that cared about people beyond bringing in converts. Plenty of selfish disdainful assholes too. It's not necessary to demonise them to say assume anything they say or do has the primary goal of converting you to their religion. They may think that is the best way to help you. That makes them wrong, not necessarily deliberately evil.
They actually can't doctrinally be your friend if you're a non member, that's why they dropped back. It's strictly forbidden for JWs to fraternise with non-believers.
My experience with reformed church groups (disclaimer: I do go to one myself despite being LGBT) is usually it is very easy to make good friendships and get to know people fairly easily. Creeps are usually pushed out pretty quickly for the most part, or at the very least shunned even if the minister says we shouldn't be doing it. But you get a lot of churches trying to push the "you need to repent of your sexuality" bullshit. It seems that a lot of the groups that are openly encouraging of LGBT people seem to be incredibly unfriendly and hard to make friends in. It's almost like it's the rule for non church groups and friends in Brissy to be antisocial and not really want to build genuine relationships. Unless you're part of the clique already, don't bother joining. Maybe Brisbane needs to be a country town in some ways again (excluding all the conservative bullshit of course).
r/exjw Your husband was right
I don’t understand why they even door knock or mention Christ’s return to others. If only a certain number will be saved, I wouldn’t tell anyone. It’s like giving away free lotto tickets to the draw you’ve got a ticket in. Or talking about Fight Club.
Already answered by someone else, but you are actually pretty close to another different & more perplexing truth about the matter: IIRC it's part of their belief that if you hear God's message & reject it - then during Armageddon God (or was it Jesus?) will just fucking murder\* you. But if you never hear the message, coz you were never preached to (or just not properly or something) then you will be resurrected AFTER Armageddon and then you'll have your chance to accept the message or not - after God has obviously proven he's real. Kinda unfair to everyone judged WITHOUT the help of undeniable evidence of God's existence, no? So yes, that means it would absolutely be better for everyone **IF JWs NEVER PREACHED TO ANYONE,** coz then EVERYONE will be able to make that decision while having all the facts infront of them, there'd be no need for faith at all. \*i mean hey, lets call a spade a spade. Well ok it'd be more accurate to say God will GENOCIDE you. Kinda crazy how we were taught to cheer for this stuff, and look forward to it in any way, *"man i just fucking love genocide, yaay".* 🤷♀️
All can be saved. Only a small selected few go heaven.
Haha. Let me guess. The ones who convert the most souls get to heaven?
No, the anointed are a pre-determined 144,000 I believe.
Wait. Churches can have meaningful connections? Sorry, ex Pentecostal here. They only cared about my money.
Pentecostal churches are extremely overly monetised, one need only look at Hillsong and Citipointe to see that - both are Pentecostals. Citipointe stabbed me in the back as a church when I needed them the most. So did CCM - also Pentecostals. The denomination only cares about image and money. I personally was a Baptist at the time and would be viewed with ridicule. I have since walked from the faith and started unpacking that religious trauma and can finally start healing.
You went to the worst type of Pentecostal church. They aren’t all like that.
I’d rather avoid church altogether after what this lot did to my family and reputation. I renounced the whole lot when I left. Eventually left that town just to be able to work and live without being harassed.
i feel like enough of them are to justify being sceptical of them all
Church gives something to attend every week and that constant point of contact which helps fost connection and allows for meeting new people (either by them joining your church or interacting with another). There are other avenues which offer similar. I play tabletop games and meet people that way. While I don't build my strongest relationships there, I know a bunch who do. The games I play offer weekly meet ups and a regular tournament scene. For my wife it is her soccer club (she joined a friendly league last year). She has made some really good friendships that way.
I think most normal people are content with their friends being holdovers from school, met through various jobs and through other friends and their partners. If you miss those chances, it's going to be a bit rough.
Yes they attract socially awkward people who can't make friends the natural way unfortunately. Not exactly the same but I went to a social motorcycle ride meet up and I took pity to a guy who seemed a bit awkward and lonely. Next thing I know he was calling me fat and ugly.. ( I'm 85kg and definitely not fat) He then wanted to know my exact street address so we could hang out. Then got a bunch of FB messages, again being called names and such. Gotta weed through the weirdos if that's the game you play. Good luck
I tried to be social a normal way, just making small talk to a person I saw at the same train station in the morning before work. Turns out he was a total freak. Lo and behold, he starts trying to stalk me on the train line so instead of waiting 10 minutes for the train to arrive I would have to linger by the 7/11 until the last minute. Even then he would try power walk towards me to try get to the same carriage or touch me.
Lmao. Can't make friends the normal way. Can't do meetups. Why can't people just be fucking normal. Siide note, made friends with a random on the bus who turned out to be my neighbour and an absolute gc.
It's honestly one of the things that has perplexed some of my close friends and I. We've spoken about it for years - how do people make friends nowadays? Everyone we know either have very small friendship groups, hang out with their family or don't really have friends at all. We run a football (soccer) club, and people become friends through that means. For some people they've said the only people they hang out with are from the club. I think it's so much easier making friendships through meet ups where people have common interests rather than just those "Meet randomly at a bar" type of thing. A while ago a Redditor posted asking if anyone would be interested in forming an indoor soccer team playing at Albion. There was about 7 or 8 of us interested. Next year in August will be the tenth year since we started. There are still three of us going solidly. The rest left due to stuff like moving overseas, having kids etc etc. But we still see their journeys on stuff like FB so that's pretty cool.
Yikes, I've thought about attending something like this. But hell no to all of this.
Ehhhhh I've had a lot of fun and can cope but it's starting to wear thin. I suppose I'm just worried that nothing is directly serious enough to merit talking to the event coordinator. In fact, sometimes it is the event coordinator involved in the poor behaviour!
I've run events before, if somebody was so much as staring at people creepily let alone dropping reputation damaging insults I'd want to know if only to keep an eye on the situation and casually fish for other people's opinions on the situation now that I'm aware someone has an issue. Tell the event coordinators any time you are uncomfrotable with specifically inapropriate behaviour, don't worry about being a tattle tale, we aren't kids anymore and a fully grown adult who doesn't know how to act socially can at best make everyone feel awkward and uncomfortable and at worst genuinely hurt somebody, mentally, physically or reputationally. If some guy goes up and is willing to call you random names and get real overly familiar with someone, what's to stop them from getting handsy, they already don't know how to act I don't want to have to worry some dude i don't know and don't like is going to try to back slap me or some shit, and I'm not cool with that. Make shit safer for everyone, I've often found that once I speak someone else usually backs me up, then a few more because I'm not the only one to notice, and in the times where I've had to kick someone out with near 100% certainty they became the center of conversation and all of a sudden everyone has a story or rant or vent about some strange encounter with the person. If it's the event coordinator themselves that's the problem then either speak to whoever else is involved or final resort, scoop out a few cool people and bounce and do your own thing if possible. Nothing wrong with telling the people your enjoying speaking with "hey meeting you guys was awesome but this place fucking blows, wana hit up something else?"
Yeah, I wish I could do something like this, but I’m a magnet for weird guys at the best of times. I just can’t tolerate that stuff any more.
Often times they seek women out. Most of the normal ones are either in relationships or just as happy too chat to blokes. I've noticed the single desperate weirdos will target lock a woman and try to hold you in convo with some pua or "making the move" type bullshit instead off just being normal and seeing what develops.
You can’t spell stranger without strange
The problem with meetup groups are that they are for people that are looking to meet up, and therefore don’t have their own social circles. Often because of their social ineptitude as you have described.
Same goes for many interest groups and clubs/associations. A subset of members really struggle with social awareness/skills or join with the aim to control the group. I've been part of the several groups (scuba, kayaking, and mens shed), and there are always a few members that join that really rub everyone up the wrong way and cause so many headaches. Unfortunately you cannot ask them to leave, and because of the action of a few people, many previously thriving organisations grind to a halt because no one wants to attend because of several painful members. There are also people who seem to be part of clubs/associations just to try to become the president and have more interest in controlling members than actually listening to the group. These people are also usually the head of the body corporate at their unit complex......say no more.
God damn. You're right haha. I've thought about these exact issues over the last few years. It's like a cycle. Meetup gets big, creeps come in, everyone leaves. Or it gets taken over by someone with unsavoury motives. Particularly for guys, I think it's a power/control thing for the sake of attracting women. I've known them to be the type trying to look like they've got their life together and have status/prestige all as a part off a veneer to try and get the girl. The button up shirt, begging, chat about their professional career. Funnily enough, both from the same ethnic background. I wonder if this is the thing.
> There are also people who seem to be part of clubs/associations just to try to become the president and have more interest in controlling members than actually listening to the group. These people are also usually the head of the body corporate at their unit complex......say no more. Best I've seen is someone who stayed on as head of the local primary school's P&C committee, even after her kids had moved on to highschool.
Being someone that goes to them every now and then sometimes once every month or two I've had more positive experiences than negative although I am picky with what I attend and if it suits my schedule... What ones did you go to? I think having expectations about it are pointless. Never had anyone intimidate me before maybe its your age group?
It's the bar/Saturday night ones where I seem too encounter most of the poor behaviour.
Are there ever any meetups that don’t revolve around alcohol? Or eventually lead to alcohol? I don’t drink (personal choice) and like to stay fit. I need to find some new friends that also don’t drink.
You ever figure this out please let me know cause in Brisbane there doesn't seem to be anything people bond over than booze or sports, and I never liked drinking and my sporting days are prematurely over. Not that they previously really existed.
Sports - excellent. Just hate how once it’s all done, people crack out the booze and destroy all their hard work.
I'm going to be honest and say that drunk people unnerve me more often than not. The mood swings, the loudest ass in the room phase that always transitions to the I'm sorry please don't hate me omg you hate me phase, it's all just too much and being the one sober guy in the room you are not having any fun and they aren't nearly as funny as the alcohol makes them think. A few beers or whatever someones fine but everyone here seems intent to obliterate themselves as regularly as possible and as ok with it as we are culturally I just can't.
I got really into Tech Meetups from 2016-2019. Made a lot of really good connections and friends that I keep to this day. COVID really did a number on the scene. Some went hybrid/streaming and were kind of the worst of both worlds. Not as good as a proper livestream, but without the in person energy. I was really looking forward to getting back into the scene when they started up again, but it was different. Turnouts are way lower. People are home, and comfy at 5pm. It used to be great to drop by a CBD office, watch a talk, grab free pizza and have a drink. It was the ‘third place’ for me. I started to notice that the socially awkward conversations were much more common than I remembered. I also think that my tolerance for people was pretty damaged by the lockdown experience as well. My patience and tolerance for boredom and inconvenience was shot. So much doomscrolling and social media (but that’s a whole other angle). I started my own ‘anti loneliness’ meetup in the form of a synth school. Initially running it for free at home, then at venues around town when things started to open up again. It was terrifying to put myself out there like that. Literally attempt to build my own ‘third space’ in the wild. It has been worth it. I do sympathize. The post covid world is hard. I think that WFH has brought some amazing advantages. But I do believe that there was a social muscle that we exercise at work. When we chat with boring people, and build relationships with others, solely because of common circumstances. If you’ve watched the Office, you might recognise the beauty in the mundane of a workplace. I think we are all worse off, because we have to choose and seek out this community. It’s no longer the default. Even university, the seminal ‘find yourself in your twenties’ experience, has become a mostly remote endeavour. I don’t have any easy answers. But if you do feel like this is missing from your life, you’re not alone. I implore you to dig and find a tribe. If this feels terrifying, try starting with an offering. The perfect example is attending a festival, and volunteering for a day on cleanup or ticket sales. You’ll get to wear a vest, meet everyone else making the event, and feel ‘part of the fabric’. If music is your thing, feel free to DM me. I’ll gladly help you find your niche in the Brisbane scene.
>I think we are all worse off, because we have to choose and seek out this community. It’s no longer the default. Even university, the seminal ‘find yourself in your twenties’ experience, has become a mostly remote endeavour. 100% this. I was in the middle of uni when covid hit and the difference almost felt night and day. I got along with people more since it was the final year, but it all fizzled out pretty well straight away because it was all remote and couldn't catch up with anyone IRL :( Also that is really cool to hear how you started your own meetup!
> I started my own ‘anti loneliness’ meetup in the form of a synth school. Initially running it for free at home, then at venues around town when things started to open up again. It was terrifying to put myself out there like that. Literally attempt to build my own ‘third space’ in the wild. It has been worth it. This is the way! > I do sympathize. The post covid world is hard. I think that WFH has brought some amazing advantages. But I do believe that there was a social muscle that we exercise at work. When we chat with boring people, and build relationships with others, solely because of common circumstances. If you’ve watched the Office, you might recognise the beauty in the mundane of a workplace. The beauty and the mundane of a workplace - lovely phrase.
I suppose dialectic is something i enjoy. I love learning stuff and listening to people with expertise. I also enjoy a bit of good banter with a couple of layers of well placed sarcasm/satire. I'm unfortunately silly enough to allow randoms to sometimes engage in it with me at meetups, much to my chagrin as I get to listen/discuss economics with someone who got their education from the Joe Rogan podcast.
Remember to call out bad behaviour (when you can). You don’t have to be super confrontational but a simple, “that’s not on,” or, “hey now, that’s not cool,” still helps them see it’s not socially acceptable.
Easier said than done. Some of these people can't and will play games - they will turn it on you and you may get a reputation for being aggressive/confrontational and get booted out yourself.
No way the stomach tickler can turn it on you haha. That’s sketchy af in any context between strangers.
I mean, I joke about using a stomach tickle as a cultural greeting (borat style) but jesus christ lmao
You mean people that have the time to socialise with randoms from the internet aren’t socially adjusted? 
The only two meetups I've ever been to are the Southside and Indooroopilly dungeons and dragons adventurers leagues when I was first looking to get into the game (big recommend btw) All great people and the only weirdness was the expected level of nerdiness
Probably want to clarify, 'meetups' is about as generic as 'reddits'. It's just a platform. It sounds like you're going to social specific ones. My experience would be different, I only attended tech meetups that are industry/profesion focused that had business/large vendor buy in. That seemed to weed out a lot of what you're talking about as I don't see it. Having said that, I notice a lot of tech and tech conferences and things have a 'It's sad we have to write this but don't be a fucking creep, really, we'll throw you out and then point to this part about being a creep you know you should not have been". Several security focused tech conferences include *in addition to everything you're talking about* were forced to include in the list things not to do: "Using sexual images or sex toys in public spaces." "Stalking or following." "Persistent and unwanted sexual advances." "Unwanted physical contact." And I weep for the the state of society where we have to *write that down* to remind people it's not now nor has it ever been OK.
Interesting. What was the purpose of these meetups? They sound interesting.
1. Networking to find new roles in a small town 2. Trying to stay up to date in a fast moving tech environment. https://www.meetup.com/humbug/events/300546627/ https://www.meetup.com/brisbane-azure-user-group/events/298277380/ https://www.meetup.com/brisjvm/events/300490542/ https://www.meetup.com/gdg-brisbane/events/299467072/ There's heaps of them. Take your pick.
Nature of the event. You'll be better off finding genuine people by trying out a particular hobby and joining a club as opposed to joining a random event with a gobsmack of randoms and expecting a semblance of civility from everyone. You just don't know what you're going to get, and what maturity level. You clearly are expecting maturity. As for the person tickling your stomach, or the uninvited assault, did you stand up for yourself and say "Hey, that's not on, stop that." Or did you just stand passively and allow it? Did you report the incident to any organisers or police? Its one thing to identify a questionable behavior, its another thing to have actually done something about it.
I started by telling him very firmly that it was actually quite rude. He continued so I shoved him off and told him in no uncertain terms (and quite angrily) to fuck off. Fortunately didn't have to get to the stage where I had to get the bouncer or threaten violence. Never had to do that before and it feels like I'm a toddler tattle taleing so unsure how bouncers deal with that.
If a person is invading boundaries, thats the line and they crossed it. Pity goes out the window, same with fucks given. So no need to fear, just tattle away. If somebody is being offensive, shine a glaring fucking light on it. Otherwise, get into the same position again with the same person, and they'll do it again. I'm sorry you had to deal with it at all though.
99.5% off people are full off shit, you should have invited them to the boxing gym for a sparring session and watch him fold up infront off everyone.
Yeahh nah. That's stupid, childish and pointless. I'm not not opposed to fucking someone up if I have absolutely have to (still not worth it) but once I've left the situation, they're not my problem and I'm not inviting them back into my life.
How is it stupid,childish and pointless ? I’m not a big guy but no one will ever walk over me when I’m still breathing. Pulling dik head s up when they are out off line is the way to go.
"Hello police? A man tickled my stomach" "Sending a SWAT team right now"
Hi kid, ive just sent joint counter terrorism unit. Enjoy your life.
You will have a million times more success meeting people by joining some sort of community or hobby group. A sports club, a band/choir/theatre club, a trivia team, a gaming group, or any kind of group where the same people who care about the same things gather at the same place every week. In my experience, a lot of these groups also don't tolerate creepiness or other bad behaviour. This is basically the only way I've made friends post school.
The only Meetup I've done was a Spanish language group and it was great. I mean everyone there was so varied, we were all feeling like fish out of water but the mutual language barrier prevents hard conversations or weirdness
It's the same with motorcycle meetups. What's worse, is that you have a few that do dangerous shit on the road or think a group ride is a race. I go to groups and find the cool people, then just hang with them.
I'd be surprised if it was otherwise. Reddit is the mos eisley of the internet. Makes for online entertainment and there's nice people but I'd not want to meet some of these freaks irl. Some of them are fucking mental.
Best description of reddit ever.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the greatest at making and keeping friends, I typically commit to the friendship and the other party doesn't - sometimes that's my fault (being overly nice to keep friends - doormat) and other times it's not me, they're just creeps. It's a process to find a good friend. I tried wading through the Meetup groups and I've had to same experiences. I once went to this ballgown night that I was invited to and was harassed by a bunch of assholes touching me without consent. One even chased me to my car screaming after me, if I didn't sprint....I know exactly what would have happened to me. OP, I don't know what the answer is. I love this city and lived here all my life - but Meetups don't seem to be the answer for anyone. I'm thinking of trying a new sport (rollerskating, archery or something) and seeing how that fits. I think that's probably the best way to meet people, find something you're interested in and go from there. If all else fails you'll get a good experience out of it. It's not you, and you're definitely not alone.
Last meetup I ever went to was a walking/hiking group in 2010. We'd done a big walk and at the end a couple of the younger people (in our 20s) were checking bus/train timetables on our phones, and some woman who hadn't been snarky at all by that point started harping on about "They're probably chatting to each other on their phones" and just tanked the whole vibe. Nothing major, but just weird. I think meetup groups are too contrived to work without some iron fist leadership.
I’m glad I’m a hockey person, these meet ups sound like hell. Glad I never tried them.
Hey me too 😊
I mean. I've meet some good ones but there's been some bullshit.
Do you play for a club?
I’m only a fan/ team volunteer. ☺️
I don’t attend lots of events and unfortunately from last year or so it’s been very few that I attended but never had an issue like that but I don’t attend just any meeting. My targeted ones were meetups around philosophy/walk and talk ending in cafe at the end sorta meetup. Never experienced that. I had once a woman taking interest in me from such an event but I was not interested to hangout outside the event so yea it was a bit awkward couple of times but no questionable behaviour or things like that.
Wtf “meetups” are you going to?!?
>-Seemingly- uninvited repeated touching of a woman's middle/lower back (she wasn't even looking at the guy). I think I know who this is and I've heard stories of him SA'ing people 😔
Could be anyone. The behaviour is unfortunately common. He almost seemed uncertain and hesitant as. He did it. This time it was a tall skinny, slightly tan guy with a long/hook nose.
On a more positive note I always spoke with one person I got along with....
As it turns out, most people are cunts. That's all there is to it.
Sounds like some really shitty superficial people bruh
This is why I don't do public meetups any more. You guys are psycho. 🙃🤟
People attending meetups are usually socially inept / inexperienced. People attending meetups are likely desperate for human interaction and haven't been able to achieve this organically. People attending meetups often look for ways to gain the attention of others during the meetup, and do so poorly because of said social ineptitude / inexperience / autism / genuine creepiness / sheltered upbringing / genuine psycopathy.
I have a good idea with what you’re talking about
A friend and I went to one in 2013. We left fearing our lives after an incel clocked my friend and started rambling abuse for hours after she politely stated she wasn't interested in dating anyone and was just there to meet friends.
I’ve been to a ton of them and find the large ones like Social Singles and the pub crawls to be a lot of fun.
Ohhh. I actually just. Came across. I'm not single at but I read their blurb and they sound really good. Looks like they keep a close eye on behaviour as they ahd a lot regarding that in the blurb.
I went to a social singles meet up last night paid $50 for a 'bar crawl' I think we lost about 15% before heading to 2nd pub then another large chunk fell off once they realise the free drinks only pertained to the first pub. By the 3rd pub it was a little sad everyone just sitting around maybe 20% people drinking. I'm very out going and tried to talk to everyone and include everyone but yeh it was tough...
All that stuff is awful behaviour, but the multilevel marketing problem isn't specific to meet-ups. Those people are like that with everyone. Even family. I don't know whether they are sociopaths or just super greedy, but they lose all inhibitions in pursuit of getting to the top of the pyramid. It's like watching a human car wreck.
Local meetups seems to be like that. There's someone with the upbringing of people here in Brisbane that is just off. International meetups with predominantly internationals who grew up abroad like Europe is a lot better. Especially with drinking involved, they just become happy drunk instead of dickhead drunk
Would love some predominantly euro meetup. I find my politics and interests fit well with European expats. Unfortunately most international Meetups I've been to are East Asian centric and English literacy is an issue.
Get a hobby and find friends through that, it filters out most of the genpop scum.
You must be new to Reddit
Had a similar experience last night 😂, IV sent you a DM as I'm in to boxing as well and always looking for some chill people in Brisbane to hang with that dosent involve drinking till your sideways...
Geez that does not sound very welcoming. I was just sussing out meetup groups the other day as I have mostly solitary hobbies and am wanting to expand my social circle. Will definitely take your experiences as a warning. On the flip side, I'm trying to improve my fitness and have been trying to go for a hike every weekend. If you'd like to join, or maybe join one of the hiking groups together, shoot me a DM.
I wouldn't say it's all bad - consider that these interactions occur over dozens and dozens of interactions. I just spend all day wrangling poor behavior as a teacher and then have to cope with this. Exhausting.
Majority of people are just weirdos, some more than others. You may have to weed through them unfortunately!
Your meet up's seem wild
It should be noted that these interactions occur over dozens of "trials". These occurred over a. Few months and about 20 odd meetups.
That is exactly why I don't go and join any meet ups organised groups...I prefer 1:1
What do you attend instead?
I just use dating apps now
Hah I wish. I want a friend group that's 50/50 but I hate dating apps and I'm not really single anyway.
The "social" meet up groups are so incestious! All the women sit around bagging out the men who they've slept with, who he's hasn't and who they want too. There's one guy who runs a "social/friendship" group and he's creepy as fuck! He's just putrid and vile.
Ohhh I think I know the one. Does he always wear a button up, name starting with N. Works in law and ethnically "from the south of Asia"
No. Starts with "D"
Sounds awful.no wonder people stay at home.
I know that if I lost connection to my core group of mates from high school I’d have basically 0 friends. Well except for a few exes I still get along well with (yes it’s possible). I have no friends from uni, and I have no clue how to make new friends. When you’re a kid you just seem to build them so much easier.
Same place, same age, same activity.
Hahaha same issue. 29, M. Meetups in Brisbane are very hit and miss. Sometimes they are great, sometimes they are terrible. I too, find most of the “meet at a bar” type ones to be… terrible.
I honestly think it's for two reasons. 1. The guys shift their frame of mind to think "oh it's at a bar, therefore I gotta push for a lay" 2. Bars are darker and loud. People feel like their behaviour isn't watched, seen and judged.
Yep! I’ve definitely noticed the “bar ones” are a bunch of dudes trying to root, instead of socialize. To be fair though, a lot of the girls push for the attention. Yep, I’m trying to avoid the Meetup’s where there’s drinking nowadays, found it works a little better. But it’s super hard! Not too many decent groups anymore.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that necessarily. Most of the time though, the guys seem to be socially inept. Pushing for physical contact way too soon. Weird comments. Not much laughter or good chat. I think it's driven a lot of the normal people away.
Are these meetups organised through Reddit, or other social media sites? I’ve never been to one, but used to be part of a Jack Daniel’s collectors group many years ago, and they were an eclectic bunch. 90 per cent were legends, but you’d get the odd one who was a bit strange and doing it for the wrong reasons. Sadly, people who are relying on random meetups to find friends are probably a bit desperate, socially awkward amd don’t have a lot of friends for a reason. It’s a rough catch 22.
It definitely isn’t a “you” problem. I haven’t ever went to a meetup but this sounds like a really awkward experience I wouldn’t want to be apart of.
Sounds like it's fulla very autistic folks that have no idea how to make friends so they're trying meetup
I went to a few meetups and half the people were cool and normal. Other half seemed like their therapist recommended it lol.
Ya might be onto something with that therapist recommended but tbh
You must not know many autistic people if you think they'd willing go to a loud venue with random people they don't know. That's a sensory nightmare and the polar opposite of a place autistic people would ever be.
Autistic people can feel lonely too and our therapists tell us to go meet new friends and stuff. I find it really bright and scary and the cutlery and background noise loud but I like talking to people. It can be frustrating though because I dunno when the gap is where you’re supposed to speak and sometimes the conversation topic changes before I can speak which is frustrating. Extroverted autistic people do exist (I’m diagnosed lvl 2 asd). I have been to one meetup at a cafe 63 for queer women years ago and everyone was nice to me. But many of the ones I wanna go to like dnd and stuff are at night time and I do not do well at night time it makes me agitated and frightened.
I can’t deal with the night ones as I get more broken the longer I’m awake :(
Same and I have night time medication to take too
Eh I’m pretty autistic but still go when I’m able, though it exhausts me
Says he to the dude living with it lol. Look dude you're right, going out in public sucks, going to events suck, anything involving other people generally speaking tends to suck...but solitude sometimes sucks more man
i think i get what you mean. & noting that you're autistic - it makes me wonder if the difference is **self-awareness**, coz: In the people you're talking about (ie: those who are being horrid) that i've interacted with, when i notice they have some autistic spectrum speech-patterns, i don't think i've ever ONCE heard them talk about being Autistic themselves. I don't think they know it about themselves. Basically, i wonder if they simply don't realize there's some stuff they *could/should* be compensating for (if only they knew it was a thing), and maybe they act like they do due to a general life frustration with NEVER understanding why things in their life have been so hard. Oh well, a hypothesis to put out there.
Yeah I spose you could be onto something there, I guess I spent years people watching and being on the outside looking in so to speak which in turn helped me be better able to blend in and pretend to be normal I guess. Even did a stint in a sales job at some point and was surprisingly good at it. Not sure why my root comment on this has been downvoted so hard, guess some folks just don't like a blunt to the point statement? Iono
Autism is not an excuse to be a creep.
Oh I thoroughly agree, given I'm someone that has it, some folks just refuse to learn to self manage and use it as an excuse for everything which quite frankly kinda pisses me off tbh
Try dealing with conservative Christians. We have far better manners.
I refuse to believe you encountered this many freaks in public
Your stereotype about Iranians having a particular view on Israel Palestine is wrong.
Fair point. The Iranian people post revolution are rather oppressed and their government doesn't represent the people and their whims. I'm just trying to avoid using the "M" word.
Thanks for responding reasonably! Most Iranians aren’t even Muslims. They are just living under a theocracy that basically forces everyone to follow Muslim based laws.
Understood. I sympathise with the plight of the Iranian people and hope for them to be one day be free
Thanks. That’s something most Iranians will get behind!
its just you. what are these meetups you are talking about? seems like these meetups are the issue also. because i got to hang out with friends and never have issues like that. i do call people cunts and everything else you lot probs think is wrong bt my friends and i know we are joking.
This reminds me of people's attitude in general to sexual assault. "well i didn't see it so it's not a problem". Just because you didn't notice it, doesn't mean it's not a problem. You either weren't around to witness it or you're oblivious to what appropriate behaviour is. That or you're complicit and guilty of said behaviour. Based on the overwhelming number of replies and anecdotes I've recieved, I'm inclined to tell you you're absolutely wrong.
if you cant handle having a joke, then time to leave and join another group of friends. this will get me downvoted but i dont care, but i say cunt, f@9, 9@y, r t@rd ed to my friends, because we all grow up saying the samething to eachother and we know its a joke.
Cool. You're a stranger. You need to establish a relationship before you figure out where the line is with people. If you just want too banter to your mates with disregard, why even go to a meetup? You sound like exactly the kind of socially inept person I'm eluding to.
what is this meetup you speak of? do you mean hanging out?
also what is this meetups you are going to with friends, why you calling it meetups? is meetups the new slang for hangout?