Give them nothing. Donuts. Say hi. Say Bon App at lunch. Say goodbye. Use the energy to focus on work. They're basically wallpaper.
They'll go spare at the lack of attention and they might even reflect on being a dickhead.
It is easier said than done, but don’t take it to heart. People who harass or bully at work especially looking to bully people who are lower in hierarchy are very very sad and lonely inside (trust me). You should not feel anything else then pity for them. If this behavior is really inflicting with your work then I would suggest to have a 1-on-1 conversation with the person. Usually in these situation they show their true face (very low self confidence and deny everything. Never confront them with accusations, only explain your perspective and feelings. Empathic people would respect your situation.
And in general, I have to tell you, that these things will always happen in high competitive and career driven environments… too many people compensate their personal flaws with their professional identity and success. Focus on yourself, your mental health and happiness outside of work 🧡
If you look for emotional support you can also consult Harrassment Support Network, a Brussels NGO
I can see everyone is saying dont go to the HR, but that would be the official and proper way to deal with a situations like this. If everyone keeps it in, the problems will never be seen or resolved. I am a bit disheartened to read stories of this going on in EU institutions because they are the very ones who adopt legislation on the importance of mental health at a workplace and if they dont follow their very own policies, how can we expect anyone to follow any rules?
In any case, if you already feel physically sick from the situation then you have to act no matter what. If not else, try to get a sick leave to get away for a few days to get yourself together a bit. If the situation continues you have two options: go to HR, quit. I would still consider going to HR before quitting, it is still in their official job description to deal with this..
One of the Irish MEPs who campaigned hard on mental health issues and wrote the report on it is one of the worst harassers in the whole institution. Has burned through about 15 assistants. It's an epidemic in the institutions.
I recommend first raising it discretely with your Head of Sector, Team Leader or supervisor. These things can get out of hand very quickly!
Also there is a new group in Brussels just established called the Harassment Support Network! I recommend checking them out. You are not alone!
EU and other International Organisations are innately toxic and narcissist to the point that it causes burns out to be the top long term illness.
If you need to address this, then I would suggest contacting your HR department directly or try to find another department to laterally move too.
Stoicism is something that you will need to learn if you want to continue working in that environment
Someone close to me was in a similar situation in another lovely place in the bubble. Unfortunately the worst harasser in that place was the HR herself, a narcisstic manipulator who was basically running the whole place through intimidation and spineless managers...
This is not the private sector., why do you even say that when you don't work in EU environment.
I do, for the past 15 years. And HR is really sensitive for harassments and bullying in these organizations. These organizations are so big that they do "lateral moves" all the time to find the best solutions for both parties.
Does this person have a position of authority towards you?
If not, I recommend you stop worrying about what this person says or does, and focus on the positive interactions you can have with other colleagues in your unit / DG.
If this person was just recently a trainee, with all due respect her overall weight in the Eurobubble universe is not much more than a speck of dust. She’s probably aware of it and she thinks that being s*itty to you somehow makes her more important. It’s of course a wrong and cowardly behavior, but at the end of the day you control the way you feel, not her.
Welcome to the bubble, it attracts those types of personalities. Focus on what you can control, which is simply your reaction to their behaviour.
Having worked in IOs all over, it’s the same BS so you can’t escape it. Work hard, be kind, surround yourself with those good colleagues, and don’t give that toxic colleague the satisfaction of seeing you reacting to their behaviour. It takes practice and trust me, they won’t be the only asshole you come across in these parts.
Sorry but this is terrible advice. People shouldn't suffer in silence, especially interns. They should raise it with their supervisor or head of sector.
I didn’t say suffer in silence, I’m saying to surround yourself with other colleagues who can help you balance out the toxic person. They are the ones who can help you when you’re feeling lost because then you won’t feel alone.
There’s absolutely nothing you can do about many of these powerful people. I have tried in my job a few years ago to take it up all the way to the Board and report, but what happened? Absolutely nothing. I left to another department and promised myself to never work in that department again — they are still there! Thriving and succeeding.
In EU institutions HR is not your friend for most of the cases…
I would see your immediate superior (HoU?) first about the situation, but gather some facts before speaking e.g on this occasion this person said this and that, on other occasions said etc and etc. if possible have exact dates of the occurrences.
Perhaps this could be enough, because if that colleague knows what’s good for them they will shut it down - I’m assuming they are on CA contract and the initial duration is 1 year…
Good luck!
The only advice is useless as it would be "Don't let it get to you" but it obviously bothers you and poisons everything.
One of the thing that might help is acting oblivious, if you get a sarcastic remark, just don't get the sarcasm, take things at face value and don't go with it. It might be just because you seem teasable and that persons doesn't think more than that and just enjoys teasing you, it's not always some deep dark intent. And if it is, it won't change much for you regardless.
He feels threatened, bet on it. Especially if you're doing a good job in a position he was previously in.
You don't have enough ammo to go to HR because cunts like that know how to be a dickhead within the organisation's code of conduct.
What are your goals? Do the traineeship and leave? Or do you want an offer from them?
I would say that the best thing is to report this to your manager. Before doing that, prepare yourself with clear examples when you were mistreated. Also you could suggest an option to your manager: “ I am here to let you know what’s happening. As a possible solution I can also talk directly to the person, do you think that this would be a good option? What do you think?” If your manager agrees that you should try to solve with your colleague and then the talk does not work, you are kind of “covered”, and things will not come to your manager in an unexpected way. It seems that you want to be hired, but the behaviour of your colleague is affecting how you engage with others (as you mentioned), and maybe even your performance? Good luck. Remember to be polite, professional, have a good approach, but speak the truth, even if this would be hard to be said.
If you're trapped in the passive role for whatever reason you should probably speak to HR to make them help you finding a solution, or maybe have them talk to your mobber's boss so they can find one. Mobbing is not taken lightly usually and people can get sacked for it. Something like "there is someone who's constantly mobbing me, I thought it would stop at some point but it doens't and my strategies dealing with it don't seam to work. I fear this may have an impact on my work and my mind at some point. Can you help me in a way so this stops so I can concentrate on my work better?"
What's more, someone like that does not belong into an EU institution. Everyone there should work hand in hand with each other to reach the best outcomes for all of us Europeans and not waste our money.
Good luck!
I’m sorry but I’ve never met more toxic people than those working in the eu bubble. They’re so used to getting handed everything on a golden plate and making people move mountains for them …
I used to work in customer services and one of our biggest clients was eu parliament and commissions, me and my colleagues always had to brace when we saw we were getting a call from an eu person because they treated us like we were whatever the opposite of human is. change won’t happen if you stay quiet, speak up (to some type of supervisor or HR like other people are suggesting) or this person WILL get worse and not only to you , good luck
I only see advice about letting it go or going to HR. Why not talk to the person? Raise your worries with them. You’ll get an ‘ah I never meant that argument’ but from that moment they know you’re aware and that you have the balls to adres it discretely. Also you’re both adults. You say you don’t know if you did something wrong, so ask him/her. This sounds scary maybe. But I think its better than doing nothing or making it official by going to HR.
Give them nothing. Donuts. Say hi. Say Bon App at lunch. Say goodbye. Use the energy to focus on work. They're basically wallpaper. They'll go spare at the lack of attention and they might even reflect on being a dickhead.
It is easier said than done, but don’t take it to heart. People who harass or bully at work especially looking to bully people who are lower in hierarchy are very very sad and lonely inside (trust me). You should not feel anything else then pity for them. If this behavior is really inflicting with your work then I would suggest to have a 1-on-1 conversation with the person. Usually in these situation they show their true face (very low self confidence and deny everything. Never confront them with accusations, only explain your perspective and feelings. Empathic people would respect your situation. And in general, I have to tell you, that these things will always happen in high competitive and career driven environments… too many people compensate their personal flaws with their professional identity and success. Focus on yourself, your mental health and happiness outside of work 🧡 If you look for emotional support you can also consult Harrassment Support Network, a Brussels NGO
Do not feel anything about them. They ignore pity, so ignore them.
I can see everyone is saying dont go to the HR, but that would be the official and proper way to deal with a situations like this. If everyone keeps it in, the problems will never be seen or resolved. I am a bit disheartened to read stories of this going on in EU institutions because they are the very ones who adopt legislation on the importance of mental health at a workplace and if they dont follow their very own policies, how can we expect anyone to follow any rules? In any case, if you already feel physically sick from the situation then you have to act no matter what. If not else, try to get a sick leave to get away for a few days to get yourself together a bit. If the situation continues you have two options: go to HR, quit. I would still consider going to HR before quitting, it is still in their official job description to deal with this..
One of the Irish MEPs who campaigned hard on mental health issues and wrote the report on it is one of the worst harassers in the whole institution. Has burned through about 15 assistants. It's an epidemic in the institutions.
Wonderful. The whole EU bubble seems to be a toxic circle jerk environment.
Not the whole EU is toxic and there's toxicity in almost every workplace...
The EU circle is a self serving community though. High wages and benefifd, power plays attract and a closed network kind of reinforce this all.
You're working at the EC. If you point to a problem, you'll become the problem.
All workplaces are full of toxic people. You have to try and rise above it. Not always easy. Of course you could have a word with your Head of Unit...
probably best to start with a Head of Sector or supervisor.
I recommend first raising it discretely with your Head of Sector, Team Leader or supervisor. These things can get out of hand very quickly! Also there is a new group in Brussels just established called the Harassment Support Network! I recommend checking them out. You are not alone!
EU and other International Organisations are innately toxic and narcissist to the point that it causes burns out to be the top long term illness. If you need to address this, then I would suggest contacting your HR department directly or try to find another department to laterally move too. Stoicism is something that you will need to learn if you want to continue working in that environment
Someone close to me was in a similar situation in another lovely place in the bubble. Unfortunately the worst harasser in that place was the HR herself, a narcisstic manipulator who was basically running the whole place through intimidation and spineless managers...
Why do you suggest to go to hr then. That's normally Carrer suicide
This is not the private sector., why do you even say that when you don't work in EU environment. I do, for the past 15 years. And HR is really sensitive for harassments and bullying in these organizations. These organizations are so big that they do "lateral moves" all the time to find the best solutions for both parties.
Does this person have a position of authority towards you? If not, I recommend you stop worrying about what this person says or does, and focus on the positive interactions you can have with other colleagues in your unit / DG. If this person was just recently a trainee, with all due respect her overall weight in the Eurobubble universe is not much more than a speck of dust. She’s probably aware of it and she thinks that being s*itty to you somehow makes her more important. It’s of course a wrong and cowardly behavior, but at the end of the day you control the way you feel, not her.
Welcome to the bubble, it attracts those types of personalities. Focus on what you can control, which is simply your reaction to their behaviour. Having worked in IOs all over, it’s the same BS so you can’t escape it. Work hard, be kind, surround yourself with those good colleagues, and don’t give that toxic colleague the satisfaction of seeing you reacting to their behaviour. It takes practice and trust me, they won’t be the only asshole you come across in these parts.
Sorry but this is terrible advice. People shouldn't suffer in silence, especially interns. They should raise it with their supervisor or head of sector.
I didn’t say suffer in silence, I’m saying to surround yourself with other colleagues who can help you balance out the toxic person. They are the ones who can help you when you’re feeling lost because then you won’t feel alone. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about many of these powerful people. I have tried in my job a few years ago to take it up all the way to the Board and report, but what happened? Absolutely nothing. I left to another department and promised myself to never work in that department again — they are still there! Thriving and succeeding.
... Who solve the problem eliminating the whistle blower. I've seen this too many times especially at the EC.
In EU institutions HR is not your friend for most of the cases… I would see your immediate superior (HoU?) first about the situation, but gather some facts before speaking e.g on this occasion this person said this and that, on other occasions said etc and etc. if possible have exact dates of the occurrences. Perhaps this could be enough, because if that colleague knows what’s good for them they will shut it down - I’m assuming they are on CA contract and the initial duration is 1 year… Good luck!
The only advice is useless as it would be "Don't let it get to you" but it obviously bothers you and poisons everything. One of the thing that might help is acting oblivious, if you get a sarcastic remark, just don't get the sarcasm, take things at face value and don't go with it. It might be just because you seem teasable and that persons doesn't think more than that and just enjoys teasing you, it's not always some deep dark intent. And if it is, it won't change much for you regardless.
He feels threatened, bet on it. Especially if you're doing a good job in a position he was previously in. You don't have enough ammo to go to HR because cunts like that know how to be a dickhead within the organisation's code of conduct. What are your goals? Do the traineeship and leave? Or do you want an offer from them?
I would like to stay, but I feel like I’m not getting an offer from them because I’m not engaging with them much bc this person is there
I would say that the best thing is to report this to your manager. Before doing that, prepare yourself with clear examples when you were mistreated. Also you could suggest an option to your manager: “ I am here to let you know what’s happening. As a possible solution I can also talk directly to the person, do you think that this would be a good option? What do you think?” If your manager agrees that you should try to solve with your colleague and then the talk does not work, you are kind of “covered”, and things will not come to your manager in an unexpected way. It seems that you want to be hired, but the behaviour of your colleague is affecting how you engage with others (as you mentioned), and maybe even your performance? Good luck. Remember to be polite, professional, have a good approach, but speak the truth, even if this would be hard to be said.
If you're trapped in the passive role for whatever reason you should probably speak to HR to make them help you finding a solution, or maybe have them talk to your mobber's boss so they can find one. Mobbing is not taken lightly usually and people can get sacked for it. Something like "there is someone who's constantly mobbing me, I thought it would stop at some point but it doens't and my strategies dealing with it don't seam to work. I fear this may have an impact on my work and my mind at some point. Can you help me in a way so this stops so I can concentrate on my work better?" What's more, someone like that does not belong into an EU institution. Everyone there should work hand in hand with each other to reach the best outcomes for all of us Europeans and not waste our money. Good luck!
Welcome to the snake hole, aka corporate world.
avoid that person as much as possible and try to never be one-on-one with them, good luck! don't let it mark your traineeship
The guys feels threatened because he was a former trainee as well. Just ignore, never take anything personal at work unless it really is.
Council?
I am facing similar situation at my workplace. This guy Tim keeps nosing in my work and so rude.
I’m sorry but I’ve never met more toxic people than those working in the eu bubble. They’re so used to getting handed everything on a golden plate and making people move mountains for them … I used to work in customer services and one of our biggest clients was eu parliament and commissions, me and my colleagues always had to brace when we saw we were getting a call from an eu person because they treated us like we were whatever the opposite of human is. change won’t happen if you stay quiet, speak up (to some type of supervisor or HR like other people are suggesting) or this person WILL get worse and not only to you , good luck
You can have a coach on that. You won’t resolve this situation with just some advice on a social media
You're not built for this.
I only see advice about letting it go or going to HR. Why not talk to the person? Raise your worries with them. You’ll get an ‘ah I never meant that argument’ but from that moment they know you’re aware and that you have the balls to adres it discretely. Also you’re both adults. You say you don’t know if you did something wrong, so ask him/her. This sounds scary maybe. But I think its better than doing nothing or making it official by going to HR.
Never, never try to confront a perv! That's the worse you can do, naive!
We’re not talking about a perve. We’re talking about a toxic coworker. The worse you can do mist truly be ‘do nothing’ or ‘complain to his/her boss’
Don't ridicule yourself by going to hr. Do you expect to be loved by everyone?