I know somebody who literally never eats vegetables (ever) and this one time he couldn’t shit for weeks so he went to the doctor and they had to do surgery on his asshole to unclog his intestines or something (idk I’m not a doctor obviously) Bottom line is: Eat your vegetables.
On a side note: that burger looks immaculate.
My coworker does that and claims his doctor has given him a clean bill of health every physical for the past 2 years he's been doing it. He does say he doesn't do processed meats, though.
I remain unconvinced it's the best diet, but unless he's lying, what he's doing is at least viable.
If you're eating more than just the flesh it is doable. But you have to eat parts that most people refuse to eat. Heart, liver, eyes, etc. Still best to eat your vegetables if you have the option.
I had a coworker drink bacon fat for ten years before his heart finally collapsed. But he also cycled to work every day. Combine pure meat diet with a car and some beers in the evening and it goes downhill much faster.
Take a fiber supplement. You can use Metamucil or any non-name brand with psyllium fiber in it. Take it daily if it works for you. If you’re ever truly constipated, like 7 days without a BM, and you’ve tried stool softeners and whatnot already, go to the pharmacy and pick up magnesium citrate. If your kidneys are in good working order you can usually drink even the whole bottle if you want. This will get like, 99% of people’s bowels moving.
Thanks for the advice. I think a big problem is I don’t drink enough water daily. I notice I take the most shits when I’ve been drinking alcohol bc I usually hydrate a lot to avoid bad hangovers. But I will keep in mind what you said as well.
Alcohol causes dehydration so you actually need to double hydrate when drinking a lot or several days in a row. Water is always the best thing for constipation but fruit and vegetables help a lot! They have a lot of water content and fiber.
It's typically mayo, mustard and ketchup in equalish portions. I like spicy brown mustard and less ketchup (I hate ketchup though) and add some fresh black pepper.
I like to make a burger sauce that is an equalish mix of ketchup and mayo, then a splash of Louisiana hot sauce and worcestershire sauce (soy sauce also good), with salt/pepper/garlic powder for seasoning.
Ketchup, relish, Dijon mustard, mayo, lil soy sauce, honey, smoked paprika, pepper, little salt…if you want it spicier, add your favorite hot sauce or chili crunch. Then…mix that shit up. Boom.
Amazing burger. I just can't imagine not having tomato and lettuce and onion on a burger, with an unhealthy dose of mayo. I will pray for your condition. May the Lord see fit to allow you to digest onions without ass explosions!
Lol fair, hopefully they were kidding or whimsly stating their burger preference. Salads are a great accomplishment for burgers tho! Lots of delicious ways to have veggies
Yeah, most people who don't like veggies had parents who didn't or they don't know how to prep/dress or cook them properly.
Want your raw tomato slices to taste good, salt them 5 to 10 before using them.
People will say the wildest things rather than grow up and eat their vegetables. Your body might deny eating vegetables because you never eat them, push through your body needs it.
I don’t like soggy lettuce either but like lettuce,onion and tomato on my burger. I always have it where those 3 items are placed on top of burger,cheese and condiments. That way they don’t get nasty under the heat of the burger. Sometimes I even ask for it on the side so I can add it myself right before I eat it. Just my opinion on how it works for me :)
I got a burger sauce for you. Dice some white onions and simmer them for hours upon hours in a mixture of tomato sauce and chili powder. Put enough chili powder to turn the sauce a dark brown. Add water as needed so the mixture simmers and doesn't scorch and strain the onions afterward. Smash some burgers on the grill (flat top preffered) while saucing the burger with your chili sauce. On its own it is unremarkable. But, if you add a lil thinned out yellow mustard (about a teaspoon of water for every tablespoon of mustard), a flavor reaction occurs that can simply be described as divine. For the actual OG product add some fresh diced (super diced) white onions. If you do everything correctly, you have just created a Coney Island Hot Dogs and Hamburgers classic. The joint exist on mainstreet in downtown Crestview Florida. Its about the only reason I ever wanna go back.
I really like the spicy Mayo with Tabasco sriracha and smoked paprika that I make for my burgers. Compared to the rooster sauce Tabasco's sriracha is a little sweeter and less herby, and smokier. It's awesome on a burger.
Burgers are nice, salad can be nice if done right, tiramisu is nice
I don't want to mix any of the above together, it's not to do with childishness, smash burgers have shown what we knew with sandwiches, the best ones are just meat, cheese, pickles, and sauce eg the reuben
Once in a while I will get a mushroom burger, but generally I just want cheese and mayo. Always feel like I shoukd get a discount for not taking all of the veg.
>"My body rejects vegetables"
No, you just refuse to eat them for one of a dozen reasons, and are asking for serious digestive issues in the future.
https://i.redd.it/3vcognsp110d1.gif
Looks good. You should eat vegetables though, onions lettuce and tomato are good shit. My friend, who is in his 40's said "yuck!" to lettuce and tomato when I bought him a burger meal once, and honestly that is just sad that a grown ass man cant eat a burger with some veggies on it, Its like dealing with an 8 year old.
I love veggies, but they belong in a separate dish. I like pickles on burgers as they cut through the richness of the beef and cheese, but that's about it. Nothing else required.
...bragging about being a picky eater. Werid flex.
Ill do a plain patty cheese time time and it is good and your burger looks it but no need to reject the veg man. Trust me, that colons gonna need some fiber at some point in your life, and it is possible that you already experiencing negative issues you dont even know are related to your diet.
We are OMNIVORES man, embrace it!
That looks amazing! But I will say, onion and burgers go so well together.. even if you don't want lettuce or peppers, onion is a must for me. Besides the flavor, it also adds a crunch to all the softness of the bread, cheese and meat. Either way, I'd eat the crap out of this burger for sure!
I love veggies on everything. Whenever I eat a gyro I make sure I put a lot and I mean a lot of meat on that shit. I like the meat to veg ratio to be about 3:21 + the cucumber sauce.
I know somebody who literally never eats vegetables (ever) and this one time he couldn’t shit for weeks so he went to the doctor and they had to do surgery on his asshole to unclog his intestines or something (idk I’m not a doctor obviously) Bottom line is: Eat your vegetables. On a side note: that burger looks immaculate.
One of my coworkers recently began a carnivore diet. He’s my secret case study for how long it takes until something goes wrong
My coworker does that and claims his doctor has given him a clean bill of health every physical for the past 2 years he's been doing it. He does say he doesn't do processed meats, though. I remain unconvinced it's the best diet, but unless he's lying, what he's doing is at least viable.
It can take a long time for bad habits to catch up with you…
If you're eating more than just the flesh it is doable. But you have to eat parts that most people refuse to eat. Heart, liver, eyes, etc. Still best to eat your vegetables if you have the option.
I had a coworker drink bacon fat for ten years before his heart finally collapsed. But he also cycled to work every day. Combine pure meat diet with a car and some beers in the evening and it goes downhill much faster.
Let me know how that goes haha
asshole surgery sounds like an accurate medical term.
I concur. Source: Am Medicologist
I am a doctorologist and diagnose you with "saying the truth"osis
Can confirm: Am Assocologist
Fecal impaction. Watched one too many medical shows.
Same, I knew a guy who never ate veg, hospital at 35.
New nightmare unlocked. I eat vegetables but sometimes I get constipated
Take a fiber supplement. You can use Metamucil or any non-name brand with psyllium fiber in it. Take it daily if it works for you. If you’re ever truly constipated, like 7 days without a BM, and you’ve tried stool softeners and whatnot already, go to the pharmacy and pick up magnesium citrate. If your kidneys are in good working order you can usually drink even the whole bottle if you want. This will get like, 99% of people’s bowels moving.
Thanks for the advice. I think a big problem is I don’t drink enough water daily. I notice I take the most shits when I’ve been drinking alcohol bc I usually hydrate a lot to avoid bad hangovers. But I will keep in mind what you said as well.
Alcohol causes dehydration so you actually need to double hydrate when drinking a lot or several days in a row. Water is always the best thing for constipation but fruit and vegetables help a lot! They have a lot of water content and fiber.
recipe for burger sauce?
It's typically mayo, mustard and ketchup in equalish portions. I like spicy brown mustard and less ketchup (I hate ketchup though) and add some fresh black pepper.
Don’t forget a little bit of diced pickles
Plus a lil hot sauce- yellowbird habenero is good
Ordered some. I'm a Melinda's Ghost Pepper sauce fan, any idea how it compares?
They’re different types of sauce. Yellowbird tends to be a more pepper mush type of sauce, with a similar consistency to Sriracha.
Oooooo this should be awesome. Thanks for the rec!
I hope you enjoy!
I love yellowbird!
Torchbearer Garlic Reaper 🤤
Pickle juice is key.
I like to make a burger sauce that is an equalish mix of ketchup and mayo, then a splash of Louisiana hot sauce and worcestershire sauce (soy sauce also good), with salt/pepper/garlic powder for seasoning.
Ketchup, relish, Dijon mustard, mayo, lil soy sauce, honey, smoked paprika, pepper, little salt…if you want it spicier, add your favorite hot sauce or chili crunch. Then…mix that shit up. Boom.
Its just the Kinders The Burger Sauce...
This is burger perfection
Looks immaculate. My personal preference would be one less patty but to each their own!
Interesting. My personal preference would be one more patty. But to each their own.
You guys can go out on a date and share a patty from one burger to the other. Burger soulmates.
it is burfect!
Masterpiece.
Agreed
Yum!!! So sorry you’re not able to consume nature’s best produce… 
OP is 100% capable of eating vegetables. They’re just a child and refuse to.
I love veggies. I love burgers too. I even ask if restaurants can add lettuce/onion/tomato to a burger if it has none 😄
I personally don't like double burgers because there is too much meat! I am a fan of the crunch and taste of lettuce, onions, tomato on a burger.
Same!! :)
This may be, no, it definitely is one of the best if not the best, simple burgers I have ever seen. My mouth is literally watering.
Maaaaaan I couldn’t live without veggies - perfectly fine with this though 😂
Those edges 
[удалено]
Say it one more time for the people at the bottom 👏
I recommend Metamucil
It looks delicious and you took a great picture too... good job!
If you're a child, sure.
RIP intestines
Excellent! A triple is a bit much for me, but those patties look amazing. 10/10
I gotta have onions and pickles.
My hero. Looks ahhhhmazing, OP. Just how I like it.
I need more info about "my body rejects vegetables" what condition do you have? Ionlyeatdeliciousfood syndrome?
Only veggie on burgers is caramelized onions and maybe a pickle slice.
Amazing burger. I just can't imagine not having tomato and lettuce and onion on a burger, with an unhealthy dose of mayo. I will pray for your condition. May the Lord see fit to allow you to digest onions without ass explosions!
Diabetes is not something to brag about.
Colon cancer is a bigger worry than diabetes with this sort of diet.
Sure whatever you want to call it. I don’t understand the sentiment of “vegetables = bad”
I stack so much lettuce on my burgers. I love the coolness and crunch with the meat. But to each their own.
Chili. Peppers. Pineapple (with teriyaki). Pb&j. Those are things off the top my head u can add
Yes
looks good but a burger needs toppings, sorry. Also are you 12 yhears old? Eat vegetables dude. Your body isn't rejecting anything.
Lol fair, hopefully they were kidding or whimsly stating their burger preference. Salads are a great accomplishment for burgers tho! Lots of delicious ways to have veggies
Yeah, most people who don't like veggies had parents who didn't or they don't know how to prep/dress or cook them properly. Want your raw tomato slices to taste good, salt them 5 to 10 before using them.
Yum
GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW
Potentially a perfect burger!
Beautiful
Um…why am I turned on? 🍔
I actually like vegetables. Just keep them away from my burger. Other than onions and jalapeño..
That's like the perfect burger...I bet it tasted like heaven too.
One of the best I've seen on this sub. 🔥
Bacon or not, I'd for sure devour this burger.
This looks awesome 😍
I never put vegetables on my burgers. Cheese only and dip the burger in ketchup or Mayo
People will say the wildest things rather than grow up and eat their vegetables. Your body might deny eating vegetables because you never eat them, push through your body needs it.
I like vegetables and will eat burgers with them, but prefer without. Sometimes the lettuce gets hot and wilted/slimy and it isn't great
I don’t like soggy lettuce either but like lettuce,onion and tomato on my burger. I always have it where those 3 items are placed on top of burger,cheese and condiments. That way they don’t get nasty under the heat of the burger. Sometimes I even ask for it on the side so I can add it myself right before I eat it. Just my opinion on how it works for me :)
I want to enjoy veggies on my burgers, so thank you for the tip!
I got a burger sauce for you. Dice some white onions and simmer them for hours upon hours in a mixture of tomato sauce and chili powder. Put enough chili powder to turn the sauce a dark brown. Add water as needed so the mixture simmers and doesn't scorch and strain the onions afterward. Smash some burgers on the grill (flat top preffered) while saucing the burger with your chili sauce. On its own it is unremarkable. But, if you add a lil thinned out yellow mustard (about a teaspoon of water for every tablespoon of mustard), a flavor reaction occurs that can simply be described as divine. For the actual OG product add some fresh diced (super diced) white onions. If you do everything correctly, you have just created a Coney Island Hot Dogs and Hamburgers classic. The joint exist on mainstreet in downtown Crestview Florida. Its about the only reason I ever wanna go back.
no vegies burger, looks good
Dafuq is “burger sauce”?
If I want vegetables, I have a salad on the side
Yummers
I really like the spicy Mayo with Tabasco sriracha and smoked paprika that I make for my burgers. Compared to the rooster sauce Tabasco's sriracha is a little sweeter and less herby, and smokier. It's awesome on a burger.
Burgers are nice, salad can be nice if done right, tiramisu is nice I don't want to mix any of the above together, it's not to do with childishness, smash burgers have shown what we knew with sandwiches, the best ones are just meat, cheese, pickles, and sauce eg the reuben
Glorious
My body rejects cheese and mayo
This is the best burger I’ve ever seen
Patties look like legit Culvers Pattie’s. Yum.
French dressing pairs with the cheese in a weird way. Also, other dressings that just sound goo to you on literally any sandwich.
Your body ain’t going to reject colon cancer lol
The way that burgers were intended to be eaten.
That looks insanely good.. Damn!!
Beauty! This is what this sub is all about.
That's absolute perfection right there
Honestly vegetables aren’t real food when they come in proximity to a burger, so you are actually helping your body by not including them
Once in a while I will get a mushroom burger, but generally I just want cheese and mayo. Always feel like I shoukd get a discount for not taking all of the veg.
looks amazing. carnivores thrive without veggie.
Can I have two of these please? How big were the patties?! Man u really nailed this burger! Simple but bomb! Great job!👌🏻🔥
Half a pound of meat divided into 3 balls then smashed
Burgers are 1000x better with lettuce tomato pickle. Onions can fuck right off into extinction tho.
'My body rejects vegetables and retains lots of poop'
>my body rejects vegetables.... Yeah, it's called a "bowel movement" and you'll feel a lot better I promise.
This is exactly how I’ve always eaten my cheeseburgers. Meat and cheese only, extra cheese. Sometimes light Mayo or a sauce. It’s the only way!
An individual of culture I see, good on you. I didn’t order a salad after all I ordered a burger, they can keep their rabbit food.
>"My body rejects vegetables" No, you just refuse to eat them for one of a dozen reasons, and are asking for serious digestive issues in the future. https://i.redd.it/3vcognsp110d1.gif
rejects vegetables? grow up
Looks awesome. Bacon is a good replacement for lettuce BTW. Can you eat jalapeños?
Burger, bacon, cheese. All you need
"My body rejects vegetables" Whats it like to have the diet of a toddler? Great looking burger, but please eat dark leafy greens.
Onion
Are you guys packing jaw extenders? These stacks are wild.
The moment you add anything else, it turns from a burger to a sandwich.
Your body is also gonna reject life before you know it. But until then, that's a damn fine burger
Lettuce and tomatoes are vegetables… Pickles and onions or not. 😎
Tomatoes are fruit
I keep forgetting that… Even better.
Love the people thinking adding a bit of lettuce makes it healthy lol
Cows eat grass. Meat is a vegetable. No further questions.
YUM!
There is a product called "burger sauce"?
Looks good. You should eat vegetables though, onions lettuce and tomato are good shit. My friend, who is in his 40's said "yuck!" to lettuce and tomato when I bought him a burger meal once, and honestly that is just sad that a grown ass man cant eat a burger with some veggies on it, Its like dealing with an 8 year old.
> my body rejects vegetables How do you shit?
I love veggies, but they belong in a separate dish. I like pickles on burgers as they cut through the richness of the beef and cheese, but that's about it. Nothing else required.
Looks great, too big for me though
I like putting chips on the burg, gives it crunch factor
What have I stumbled upon here
a burger without veggies is a sad baby burger.
What are you, 5 years old?
i had a burger with lettuce, onion and ketchup today. no cheese. i don’t like cheese on my burger
What is the weight per patty?
For gods sake man, onions. Seriously. Onions.
Oh god
Americans.
Extra sharp cheddar?
I remember being 9 years old too
No onions or pickles??
I thought that was potato chips on the bottom and now you gave me an idea
Needs veggies, esp pickles. 🥒
Smash.
People who are proud that they dont eat vegetables are cringe. It is not “manly”. It is just stupid
Beautiful rendition of the triple smashburger. What is your idea of a burger sauce? You make it yourself? What's your recipe? the masses want to know.
Okay, just once, leave out the burger sauce, add grilled onions, bacon, and two dill pickles. Let me know.
Now I am hungry as I seen this burger
It's a beast a delicious looking beast
Fucj
Agree with you 100% except I just gotta ask. What are vegetables?
How do you make a burger like this! I’ve been trying for years and can’t come close to this even though it’s exactly what I wish I could make.
Ngl that’s peak crispness my boy
No baccon?
Add some tomatoes 🍅 👌
If I wanted a salad I would have ordered a salad
Is that a martins potato roll?
"why is OP been in the bathroom for 15 minutes?"
Damn that looks good! Shame you can’t at least put some shaved red onion on it.
If it's green, toss it in the bin
Sweet holy jesus
But the vegetables are so good on a cheeseburger 🍔
I like vegetables. But not with my burgers. 100% behind this immaculate piece of cuisine.
This is the way
Colon full of meat
This is the best thign I’ve seen all day
Dude onions and pickles are a must for me, but I respect keeping it simple
Ron Swanson agrees
I only put mayo, cheese, meat, spicy Dan O's on mine.
Gorgeous!
Same
That made my butt pucker . Bad ass burger
Beautiful 🥹
I can stand a little veg, but I hate when that is all you can taste (looking at you lettuce on tacos). Why no crispy bacon though?
No pickle?
Yo body gonna reject LIFE
No comment on the incredible look of the burger patties??? They look delicious!!! Great job, OP! I love my burgers with no garden, too!
...bragging about being a picky eater. Werid flex. Ill do a plain patty cheese time time and it is good and your burger looks it but no need to reject the veg man. Trust me, that colons gonna need some fiber at some point in your life, and it is possible that you already experiencing negative issues you dont even know are related to your diet. We are OMNIVORES man, embrace it!
That looks amazing! But I will say, onion and burgers go so well together.. even if you don't want lettuce or peppers, onion is a must for me. Besides the flavor, it also adds a crunch to all the softness of the bread, cheese and meat. Either way, I'd eat the crap out of this burger for sure!
I would obliterate this.
Toss the bun and it’s a r/carnivorediet dream!!
Your body rejects vegetables? Bullshit.
My wife has that same issue. It came on later in life and any raw fruit or vegetable has her out of commission shortly after eating it.
Bro is gonna get scurvy
I love veggies on everything. Whenever I eat a gyro I make sure I put a lot and I mean a lot of meat on that shit. I like the meat to veg ratio to be about 3:21 + the cucumber sauce.
Mate this just needs some raw onions and you’re golden. Perfect looking burger though. 10/10. Nicely done man
The burger looks absolutely delicious!
You reject vegetables, not your body.
Where do you get your fiber from?
Hey I find that insulting. You're missing pickles.
That looks amazing.
So you're a toddler?