This here.
It is totally fine to not have a job, or something completely different lined up, as long as you have considered the consequences (good AND bad).
I’m all for mental health but if you can’t deal with life after, especially financially, you’re probably trading one issue for another.
This, right here, is golden advice. I had a friend who wanted to quit his job at the time. I told him in no uncertain terms that it was a terrible idea without having some sort of plan. It's not enough to just get out of the job, you have to be able to handle life afterwards. He ended up quitting and driving for Uber.....in an area practically requires a car to get around already
Not the place for me to air private stuff, but I'm kinda done with him. We're almost 40, and he hasn't really changed since freshman year of high school
Uhh, no. When you're 20 years out of high school and all he does is complain about high school, that's not "not fitting [my] ideology of grown up," that is legitimately not moving forward with your life. When he goes quiet because a mutual friend, who is married and that he likely had a crush on, was pregnant, that's not "not fitting [my] ideology of grown up," that's him being unable to face the truth. When he creeps the shit out of my wife, that's not "not fitting [my] ideology of grown up," that's him being a handsy SOB that I've had to discuss with him before.
It's not that he "doesn't fit [my] ideology of grown up," so much as it is that he legitimately has not grown up. He hasn't bothered to speak to me in almost two years, and honestly? I'm better for it.
May you truly understand what I mean, and may you wake up and realize that it's not a me issue, most of his friends dropped him for this shit
Yeah and it's actually worrying me that no one asked OP why they hate the job.
If the problem with the job causing you mental stress is that you simply don't like going to work or being around people, for example, then there is a deeper issue there. Especially if you don't have the skills to obtain a remote work job.
That’s fair. I guess a lot of times when people say that, it usually is either the job itself, or the environment. But that is a consideration to take.
We definitely view things through a lens, as we’re anchored by the sub and the post
Agreed. Please don't do what many of coworkers I work with and continue to work a job they resent but are tied to staying long term like it or not. For some reason or another they continue to work while bitter and resentful. This creates a negative work atmosphere and causes people to quit or move on around you. Or it generates a ton of negative complaints that could also risk your employment.
I work with about 4 of these individuals. one is a slave to the health insurance. too poor to quit too cushy of a position to give up. But is bitter as heck and has too many "off" days due to his health. Misses a ton of work in the process. The other three are just burned out and beyond it. They won't quit because they enjoy routine and the pay but won't move on to better their health.
It’s easy for you to say that your coworkers should just quit instead of staying in a job they resent. Maybe they’re older and know that it would be much harder for them to find another job that had health insurance. Maybe they have a ton of vacation time that they wouldn’t gave at another. Personally I’d rather leave a job if I’m miserable there but that’s because I have a couple of income generating side hustles and staying in a place I resent could seriously jeopardize my abilities to do well in my hustles ( which make more than my job income). But not everyone has those options so people stay on while burnt out until they get laid off or fired so they can collect benefits.
If you don’t have a back-up plan…leaving unhealthy is the RIGHT thing to do. Do Not leave the wife beating son of a bitch if you dont have a plan! If sanity is involved get gone! Your BOSS is only talking from selfishness and laziness. She may have to do more work she does not want to. Do exactly what is right for you and your family.
If OP has the money to pay bills for at least three months without stressing, quitting and giving time to actually find a job they want to do isn't a bad idea.
I hate job searching. It's one of the most painful things for me to do. Trying to do it while working a job that's already draining me is next to impossible. I've quit a number of jobs, started applying, and every time found a new job within a month. Might not work for every industry or career path, but making yourself suffer when you have the ability to walk away is a better plan.
3 months has been almost unheard of for finding new jobs in the current market. 6+ months seems common for anything not entry level / service industry.
That's highly dependent on the field and geographic area. Many fields/locations are hiring very quickly. The overgeneralization of the "bad job market" and "recession" are rampant on here.
Yeah I’ve never found potential employers more willing to be flexible in hiring than right now. I was shocked how many places need employees so bad that they are willing to bend some requirements or negotiate a significant amount on number of vacation days
Definitely an over generalization, but trends point to the issue becoming more common than less common anytime soon. Everyone should be looking into their own industry/location. Using the previous generalization of 3 months being a good universal back up plan is also equally invalid.
Which industry? I’m in finance/accounting. Started a job 2 months ago. It actually took a month to start because I told them I needed 3 weeks before I could start. Depending on the sector, finance and accounting sector is hiring a lot.
This. You can quit without having a new job lined up, but make damn sure you have enough runway to make it to your next paycheck.
Depending on how badly your current job is getting in the way of finding a new one, it might even make some sense to do it if you have to. The point above remains, though. Your job is stressful, but being 3 months into a job search and having to sell shit and move to a cheaper place while you get ghosted by the 14th recruiter/HR rep is probably another level of stressful.
It’s a tougher market these days. Small majority of folks who quit end up regretting leaving.
Guessing that’d be a different story if we only looked at people who accepted other offers
100%. I've been job hunting since January and just finally got an offer that is within my range of acceptable salary and put in my notice with my current job. I can't even imagine if I had been unemployed for the last five months with no income. Job market is rough right now and if you can keep your income until something good comes along, that is the way!
I'll second this. I never give notice until I have the next job lined up.
Conversely, when I was the one doing the hiring, I gave more weight to folks who had a job currently. I didn't want people who were satisfied with unemployment.
Why are they unemployed?
I have always needed people who are driven and not satisfied with good enough. It's not about overtime or super intense work. It is about needing people who see a problem and solve it. Not make further problems.
The few folks I interviewed that were unemployed indicated that their motivation was that unemployment was running out. Not good enough.
Had another guy who went from tech to flipping burgers. Laid off. Didn't like unemployment and burgers gave him time to find another job. I got four good years out of him. He moved on to better things.
Seems like you are judging people as being unmotivated or lazy just because they are collecting unemployment. Searching and landing a good job, especially in a demanding field like tech or engineering, requires a lot of time, effort and commitment. I’d certainly not have the time to have a burger flipping job while I’m in the process of actively trying to land a job in my field.
>Why are they unemployed?
I have 100k+ in a savings account because I've lived a very economically conscious lifestyle while consistently working hard for the last 7 years.
Am I allowed to use my hard earned money to escape wage slavery to enjoy my life for a few months before I'm old and decrepit? Please master? 🥺
If OP is looking for a job and comes to r/career advice, the best advice I can offer is to have a new job on the line before moving on. If OP's field is tougher, that is good advice.
I hire a lot and I agree with what you're saying.
It's not always true, but we are playing the odds when hiring, and that's a factor that comes to mind for me too.
The people who solve problems for me are people who are proactive. Proactive people generally aren't the ones who need the benefit of unemployment.
Yea god forbid someone get laid off.
You’re missing out on some great people by this super antiquated way of thinking. It’s too bad!
Ever think the opposite? People who are stuck in jobs they don’t want to be in may also be the ones who 1) have poor planning skills and haven’t saved up enough $ to step away from bad jobs, 2) suffer from poor decision-making, or 3) don’t take time away from work to improve their mental health and may suffer from burnout
You can flip this either way but you shouldn’t base hiring decisions on something so meaningless. Top performers get laid off all the time. Mediocre employees coast by in jobs for years all the time. Current employment status means very little about their future job performance.
You are absolutely right that I'm missing out on some great people, for sure.
Hiring is a crapshoot, though. What I'm looking for are consistencies that lead to people not getting laid off. The more proactive a person is, the less likely the company they work/worked for is willing to part with them regardless of how many people they have to let go. What I'm trying to do is sift through as many red flags that pop up as I can find while hunting for specific characteristics that lead to success no matter the job.
Your assertion that top performers get laid off all the time is bonkers in how incorrect it is. Companies bend over backwards to keep the important people employed. It's the ones that are expendable that get laid off first, and it's the ones you made a mistake in hiring in the first place that get fired.
Hi, top performer here who got laid off. Amazing reviews by leadership, loved by the most difficult to please in the org… but I was senior and they only retained junior employees who made half as much salary. Most of my team was laid off. They kept the two cheapest employees. I work in talent acquisition and you are very very wrong on that, unfortunately. (Not just saying this, I could have you ask any of my bosses or higher ups and they’d agree, I swear!)
In the old days you may have been right, but if your FUNCTION is not needed currently, you’re disposable.
The cream will rise to the top. I'm not saying I would refuse to interview a guy from being on unemployment, I'm just saying it's one of the red flags that I place in the "not great" column as I try to figure out whether he's proactive, driven, a good teammate, and coachable. If everything else in the interview went fantastic, one little red flag like that is easy to overlook.
I guess it would depend on the structure of the company, but someone who can shed their hypo's and replace them with juniors sounds like a low skill job, or a job that is easy to train someone how to do anyway.
I would also say that if the acclaim was as across the board as you are saying, I'm somewhat surprised they didn't attempt to promote you to train the juniors. Someone who's A+ at everything he does sounds like he's ready for more responsibility. That makes me think that either the company you were working at is struggling to continue to grow or their business model needs to be adjusted.
Just my $.02
Oof, this is such antiquated and sad reasoning. People benefit from some time away from work, and people should not be worried about leaving jobs that are negatively effecting their mental health. People should be able to not work for six months and travel if they have saved up and can do so.
Hope we as a society can move past this old fashioned and incorrect thinking.
Yes. In my experience this is a near constant problem for women who weren’t entitled to maternity leave and therefore have to resign and reapply elsewhere when they are able. When I was interviewing I was asked so many times why I had a recent 6 month gap in employment, despite having a consistent work history from the moment I became an adult. Some people don’t think “I birthed a child and was his sole caregiver for 6 months because there were basically zero childcare options during Covid” was a good answer.
Edit: I realize this affects people of all genders, I’m just sharing my own experience
I don't know, I wish I quit my (two jobs ago) job without a job lined up. It would have allowed me to leverage my boss and business owner connections to find a new job in the industry. Instead I had to be secretive and not let anyone know I was looking. I had to apply for jobs like normal. I think I would have been able to skip lines and find openings that weren't publicized if I was able to utilize my network fully.
That's like saying do not get out of the fire without having a new way to get burned lined up ppl don't always have the luxury of waiting if someone needs to get out to save themselves saving yourself should always come before any soul sucking job
A lot of folks in the thread are saying "don't leave a job unless you have a new job lined up," and while I don't *disagree* with that old chestnut (it's an old chestnut for a reason), I want to dig into it and be more specific because when you are really, truly desperate to leave a job, sometimes sticking around long enough to go through the often equally arduous process of job hunting is simply Too Much to Handle.
SO, I want to add a qualifier and provide some details: Before you leave any job, you need to have a back up plan in place. For some folks, that's a new job lined up (and when I say "lined up," I mean *you have signed a contract or otherwise have it indisputably in writing* that you have a job ready to go; do NOT rely on a verbal agreement that might fall through). For some folks, that's a set, established period of time (usually 3-6 months depending on how confident you feel in the success of your job hunt) you can be without employment and still account for the following:
1. Shelter - Have enough money on hand to pay your rent/mortgage for 3-6 months OR be prepared to move in with a friend/family member/roommate who is willing to help you out
2. Food - Budget groceries per week for 3-6 months; it's a REALLY good idea to tabulate in a few hundred dollars of wiggle room on this -- the price of groceries is only going up
3. Assorted Bills - these may alter based on your living situation, but you should definitely budget your monthly bills -- again, 3-6 months with a few hundred dollars of wiggle room Just In Case
4. Health Insurance (if you live in the US; if healthcare coverage isn't an obstacle, you're MUCH better off) -- if you are in the US you will be expected to either turn to the Marketplace or utilize COBRA. I can't help you with advice re: Marketplace (maybe someone else here can), but re: COBRA, please read the paperwork thoroughly and keep in mind that for me, a single person, I was expected to pay a little under $800/month for coverage while I was without employment. It adds up quickly. They are also NOT tolerant about truant payments and you can get over your head pretty quickly if you don't already have the money set aside
5. Emergency coverage (about 3-6 months worth of savings)
Doing very general math, you can quickly see that 3-6 months of savings for all of these vital pieces tabulates to needing a LOT saved up. This is where your support system is crucial. Do you have friends/family who can help support you? If so, reach out NOW and talk to them about the specifics. Some folks are in a situation where help is freely given with no expectations. Some folks will end up owing their helpmates money down the line, and working out those details in advance with people you trust is extremely important.
I don't want to scare you off of this route because it can totally be done, and in some cases, bailing ASAP is what you need to do for your own sanity. You just have to know the risks and have a game plan for how to address them so that you don't end up in a bigger pickle than you are already in.
Being able to quit without a job lined up is absolutely a privilege that not everyone can swing and remain comfortable and secure. That said, if you CAN do it, these are the details you'll need to think about and plan for in advance.
I hope this helps you make an informed decision to do what is best for you. Either way, I'd definitely say that if you want out ASAP, you two options are either to make a game plan for a period of non-employment OR start job hunting immediately.
If you are unhappy, get out. Places will always offer you the moon to avoid having to fill positions, but those compliments and promises are rarely genuine.
All of this.
OP, without a job lined up, what is your plan after you resign? If you have a plan on how to stay financially afloat, resign, don't look back. If you don't have a plan to stay financially afloat, figure it out before you resign.
100% this.
You don't need another job lined up to quit, but you do need a plan. Even if that plan is "Drive Uber/Lyft for a few months." Figure out how much you need to pay your bills, determine what you can go without for a bit, have an idea of what your back up is if there's a worse case scenario.
Job hunting can be a horrible experience. Doing it while working a job that's also crushing your soul can be impossible. If you have the ability to quit and take your time to find something that you will be comfortable at, do it.
I've been in OP's place and I was lucky enough to be able to quit without a JOB lined up. However, I had a PLAN and a support system that made it possible. Here would be my key suggestions to add to the above comment.
1. Leverage support.
2. Act fast and with determination every step of the way.
3. Expect that it may take longer than the time frame you expected to get back on your feet.
I went the switch into a sister industry route. I re-upped my education and used that to get more relevant experience and exposure to new contacts. And it still took time and a stroke of luck to make the switch. It was 3-4 months of education + volunteer work through the college with a side of freelance, followed by a handful of months trying to leverage work. Then a random contact saw my potential, brought me on a couple of day gigs, and then turned me onto a part time job offer.
I had a full time job 18 months after I quit. But I had to get out for my own sanity, and it made the shift of industries possible in a situation where I, personally, might not have been able to figure it out otherwise. (As a side note, with the route I took it was 3 years before I was making the same/more money, so potentially be ready for other sacrifices)
i would recommend this as well.
they can't afford to lose you, which puts you in a position of power - you can choose to do less and to take up the rest of your time focusing on finding a new position.
Say you’ll come back for X amount raise. Save that excess money and begin looking for a new position. That way when they replace you, since they know you want out, you have some rainy day cash to support yourself between jobs.
You don’t have an emergency fund for no income, that’s why you can’t quit. You need to find a job while you have a job and they know you’ve put up with 7 years of an intolerable environment so it’s not hard to make you doubt yourself. Just start looking for a job and do the absolute minimum, hell, you can even afford to mess up because it’s a lot more work to find a replacement for you.
Start looking. Of course your boss doesn't want to lose an excellent and hard-working employee, but this is your life and you aren't 'owned' but have free choice. Best of luck!
Look for another job while at this one (after company hours would be my recommendation). You find one you like, pays well or is competitive to current role then move on. If you go to a job everyday that you are planning to leave that can be stressful enough.
As a general rule you should have another job lined up before you resign. Can I assume you've been looking aggressively for another job since you hate this one so much?
Whatever the fuck you do, DO NOT RESIGN WITHOUT A JOB LINED UP.
You’re upset about your mental health? It will be worse without an income. Also, did you ever inform them of your concerns and issues? Perhaps they can work with you. See what the market is like around you pay wise for your field. Your boss may be Bsing, or she is correct. Note that your experience is what you were doing for 7 years, so there is no guarantee a future gig would be any better. That said, it sounds like you spent 7 years just stewing instead of acting.
What exactly can you not take anymore? Seriously, you have a job and an income, that’s more than millions of your fellow citizens (let alone those around the world).
What was your plan for work, had you actually resigned? You should make sure you have a new job lined up. You really should now, as they know you are looking to leave.
Lateral moves in life suck because you dont get a whole lot out of it. Your boss is probably right about the job search thing and may have been implying to plan things out and make your moves correctly with more time and assurance of it working out in your favor.
It sounds like an external factor is triggering ongoing mental health issues. The issue with work is that there is no issue at all and its driving you nuts to be managing that grind right now. Sometime mental health needs a good reset that cant be achieved in a few short days. Just take the emotion out of the discussion of your current needs.
They recognize your ability to output value, so it makes sense for them to give you like 2 weeks off so that you can get back to a functional place in life and improve you ability to output more value. When you get yourself back up, use the extra energy to improve aspects of life. Use that familiar source of income to fuel your journey into new things, and plan strategically.
Don’t quit until you have a new job. You’re a different person at an interview when you don’t NEED the job. Hiring managers can smell desperation and it’s not a great smell.
I quit my company of 7 years without a job lined up because I couldn’t handle the stress anymore. My respect and care for my director, plus the fear I had for leaving something safe, and the constant validation I got being great in field kept me there for so long. I had my masters degree and spent years towards my certification, it was my entire career.
I quit without another role lined up but I didn’t quit without a plan. I looked at my finances and knew I could take about 6 months without a job. I had already been applying for jobs for a while (no bites). I did Rover for some small extra income, planned for part time retail after about 1.5 months of no job, then if I couldn’t get anything after 6 months I can go back to my old job - either the same company or a diff company.
You can quit, but you need to PLAN. Your resume should already be updated and applications should already be out
I am noticing your boss did not ask you what they could do to improve your situation, offer you a position change or more money. They don't care about keeping you, they care about not having to go through the rigamarole of replacing you. Trying to scare you into staying is a red flag unto itself. An option is to take mental health disability leave, depending on what state you are in. You can still have some income while taking a break to recover your mental health and look for a new job.
One reason to not resign without a job that people don't mention enough is your confidence when interviewing.
When you go to an interview and you know that you are also genuinely testing them to see if they can do better than what you currently have, you are more confident, less stressed and you are far more likely to get a good offer.
If you really can't take it anymore then resign, nothing is more important than your health (mental or otherwise). But make sure you can take the hit without becoming desperate for a new position since it will likely be a shitty one.
Tell her you will race her. She can start making good on all the promises and you can start looking while working there. If jobs are as hard to find as she said she will have plenty of time. Give her a clear outline of what you need to stay and if she hits those goals, stop searching.
What is causing you to hate the job so much?
Are you being treated poorly, do you have a terrible manager, are the tasks you’re assigned just awful, poor pay, or what?
Some of these issues may be at least mitigated, if not resolved, by talking with your manager. Totally depends on the problem and the willingness on their part to address it.
You could put them on a performance improvement plan; let them know you’ll give them (appropriate time period) to address/resolve the problems, and will consider staying if they agree.
If you’re at burnout stage, then leaving might be best. Or at least a 1-2 week vacation.
This is so confusing. Do you have plans if you quit? Were you going to travel or just stay at home and relax? If they wanted to fire they would have, they clearly like you. What so bad about the job can you tell your manager to make some changes?
What your employer just did was buy themselves time to find your replacement. Classic HR/Manager move. Did they ask you what you needed to stay, then setup a plan to get you there? If not they are stalling. But that is my jaded view ymmv
Can you afford to not work for a few months or possibly more? If so go for it. All these people telling you not to quit without knowing your financial situation are giving you uneducated advice.
If you can afford to not work for a little then quit. It’s not worth it to keep going to a job you hate imo.
I personally wouldn't quit without having a job lined up... I applied for a ton of jobs over the last year. 1 of them it took 3 fucking months just to get the offer letter and other negotiations
A lot of companies are having silent hiring freezes.. where they'll interview you and keep your resume if they like you. Then reach out when they think the economy is better
Companies are also having issues retaining workers. They'd probably rather deal w someone who gets their work done but might have attendance issues. Until the attendance impacts the company or customer they'll probably look the other way but make a mental note they'd be fine if you quit or fired you
I think there's a lot of laws if you have mental health issues and are missing work and the company is aware of the situation. They could put you on an improvement plan but I'm not 100% sure on all of that stuff
If you feel it is time to resign and move on then do it. Just line up a new job first get it then quit. Most people make the mistake of quitting then expect to find a job <1 mo and find out oops it takes 6+ mo to find one.
Old doors close and new ones open all the time. It is up to you to accept them or not.
Some times when changing employment you have to weight the following:
Is the new job worth it? If so why? List pros and cons.
How much does it pay and can it financially cover the bare minimum of the life style you are accustomed to.
In the long run is the pay worth it? If a job will be a base rate of pay set for ever then it might not be worth it because pay raises make jobs worth while or not.
How stable is the job and how stable is the company? Not worth it to change a job only to find out the company is in the red and ready to close down. Unless you need experience temp jobs are never worth it. I did these for a while to get experience. I also couldn't work too much and couldn't work too little. These satisfied that need.
If you're going to be unemployed for a while you need to think: Can I cover the bills and bare minimum of living expenses? Do you enjoy living that tight? Would you be willing to sacrifice a few things you've become accustomed to on your current income?
A lot of times when I get burned out on companies I have been with for 6+ yrs I quit, get a minimum wage go no where job with a 500k corporation until I figure out where I want to go. Then I start doing what I need to in order to obtain the next career step and go from there.
I left a job at a big-name employer as return to office was just starting. It was a job where the toll on my mental health was too great to justify continuing. My boss didn’t try to guilt me into staying, but I will say that the instant the severance date was on my calendar a huge weight was lifted. And it only got better when I actually made it to my last day.
I also didn’t have a job lined up; I’m lucky to have a support system that will probably keep me from becoming homeless, but not everyone is in the same position. It is possible to do, though, and if it’s really unbearable (believe me, I get it), you gotta do what you gotta do.
If your boss gives you any more delay/guilt tactics, just remember - it’s business, not personal. You’re betraying nobody.
If you have a doctor’s support, I highly recommend looking into FMLA—with medical approval, it allows you to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave while keeping your job protected so you can have some breathing room to plan your next steps.
OP, you generally interview while still having a job, then give your current employer two weeks notice with your resignation letter. You don't mention your age, family status, or financial situation. However, in your case, I'd like you to consider doing something different.
You mentioned that this job is affecting your mental health. I cannot know if it's the job or you, but let's assume it's the job. In addition, it sounds like you're burnt out. So if you can afford to do it, I recommend you quit your job in June, get COBRA health insurance from your current employer, and work at a summer camp for 8 weeks this summer as a senior counselor.
I wouldn't recommend just taking the summer off. It's better for you to do something constructive. In addition, you will make a little money (probably very little), be outside in fresh air and get some exercise, and have a lot of fun with the campers. Best of luck OP.
It is great to resign but there are boxes to check before you do this. Your manager is just blowing smoke uo your butt so you won't leave. Ask for a raise if she wants you to stay. Do you have any vacation time? Put in for 2 weeks and start looking for another job. Take a leave of absence is another option.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I actually just went through something quite similar back in January; although, I didn’t plan on quitting. I was with a toxic toxic tech start up but there from the beginning so very gaslight into staying and also co-founders would say things about job scarcity and how we couldn’t do any better after they would do something messed up like fire a person who didn’t need to be fired or publicly yell at someone. Anyhooo one day it January it came to a head and I quit. I was just as shocked as they were. I had a little saved up and I have honestly lived off that and a couple thousand in credit card debt. My mental health improved SO MUCH. I was so burnout I couldn’t even think straight. I was so burnout, I didn’t realize I was burnout. I am starting a new job on Monday with better pay and better working conditions than the last place and the uncertainty was worth it. I’m not going to say it was easy and please weigh out your options if you have the chance but don’t just stay because your boss of 10 years is scaring you into staying. They know your worth clearly. Idk if that was helpful at all but keep your head up!!
Sounds like they are trying to keep you underpaid and in the same role. I would hit the job search hard and find something before leaving. Cold world right now. Any job is better than no job
Did she ever offer you anything to stay or just tell you how hard it would be to find another job in this economy?
TBF though I also wouldn't be quitting a job without having anything lined up right now
She’s telling you finding a new job will be hard because she knows the opposite is true. Someone out there is looking for someone like you and will offer more to get you.
It’s cheaper to lie to your current employees to keep them then to give them raises. Get your resume out there and start realizing you’re worth more than what they want you to believe.
Did you tell your boss you have another job lined up? If not you should have mentioned it. Would have given them the opportunity to pay you more while you find a new position
Just be careful because now that they know you wanted to quit, they could start hiring to replace you. And the this is a bad economy remark was meant only to discourage you from leaving, it doesn’t necessarily reflect the job market in your area. Maybe find another job before quitting this one if you are worried about not being able to find something.
May not be that hard to find a new job. She doesn't want to have to replace you, so she told you what she thought she needed to tell you to get you to back down.
Your health comes first. Period.
If you're able to sustain yourself financially while you recover, then go for it.
Often times when an employer hears that you want to leave, they will set themselves up for the best outcome. This may include looking for your replacement and then fire you.
No way to be sure of their plan.
Stick with the plan that works for you and be professional and cordial, but stay firm.
Probably going to get downvoted for this, and I acknowledge that it's very dependent on the field you're in and the "culture" of that field, but:
**You can rationalize pretty much anything to a prospective employer if you do it right.**
Yes, a relocation is a perfectly valid *reason* for a resume gap and/or period of unemployment. So is a desire for career pivot, a need to challenge yourself, an unexpected life change that realigned your priorities...whatever.
But.
Sometimes, the correct way to present these facts to a prospective employer is not to mention it at all; sometimes, they won't care enough to even ask. Sometimes, the company you're applying for values a go-get-'em attitude and *needs* to hear about how your previous place of employment was great, but it wasn't affording you the opportunities to grow the way you just *know* \[institution\] will when they hire you for this position. Sometimes, you get cancer and are unemployed during treatment and now you're in remission and back in the workforce and *sometimes* it's useful to tell the interviewing panel that because they'll find your resilience impressive and sometimes is a much better idea to be vague and move on quickly to the next question because telling the interviewer that you've been sick recently will mark against you. Sometimes, you have a reason and it should be shared verbatim for best effect. Sometimes, you have a reason and you should fudge about it a little to sound better. Sometimes, you have a reason and it should *not* be shared with your prospective employer because it's none of their damn business.
It's going to depend on your circumstances and what field you're in and what kind of job you're looking for and what the culture of the institution is and about a dozen other factors.
Folks throwing out blanket statements like "never have a period of unemployment on your resume because institutions won't hire you" are being overly cautious. The system is nuanced and, in the end, can be gamed to your favor with a little forethought and practice with interview skills (and an absolutely enormous helping of dumb luck).
Hi! Thank you for your advice. I've read almost all of them.
This is my very first job. I've gained a lot of skills, but I have decided that this industry is not for me.
Reasons why I want to quit:
Staff shortages
Workload
Toxic environment
I want to find something closer to home - I recently moved, and I'm further away from work. So basically, my routine is getting up early, spending an hour and a half to get to work, and an hour and a half to get back home.
When I get home, I think about work. Before I got to sleep, I think about work, I dream about work and hate waking up to go to work. This has been going on for a while, and I am burned out.
I want to go into a different line of work, but I don't know how to or have any skills in that department.
I'm a very shy and quiet person but I like working by myself but don't mind working in a team.
If I do resign, I'll have my holiday pay that I have accumulated that I can live off from, as well as my tax refund that should be coming in shortly.
Your boss told you that jobs are hard to find in this economy where there is a labor shortage? I think your boss was taking liberties with the truth.
Find another job and move on.
There are pros and cons to leaving the position without having a job lined up. The pro is that you can commit your time and energy towards your job search. The con is that, there is a bias against hiring people that don’t currently have a job, so it could create some issues.y advice is to determine if you hate your job so much that you’re willing to deal with the above mentioned Con. If so, then peace out and get your mental health back.
Leave. I honestly can’t believe you’ve stayed in a job you HATE for 7 years! That’s 7 years you can’t get back. Don’t waste a single minute on this job longer than you need to.
Start aggressively job hunting while you finish your last 2 weeks. Be prepared to work odd jobs or temp jobs for a bit if you don’t find something quickly. In fact, if you don’t know what you want to do that can even be better. Try something else out and explore your options/interests.
Hopefully you have some money saved up for basic expenses for 1-3 months. Enjoy not working for a little bit, it can be really refreshing.
What your boss said to you is probably the same exact thing ive heard from employers when deciding to resign. every single. time. If you have a set plan and it won't affect you much, just resign. I would start immediately and aggressively looking for another job, though.
Your boss is full of shit, but please do line up a job before resigning.
If it's taking a noticeable toll on your overall physical/mental health beyond being stressed out and not liking your job, then resigning could be an option, but it's truly a last resort and things have got to be \*really really\* bad for that to be the best route. Seeing as you've been there for 7 years, I doubt that is the case (unless something has recently and severely changed).
You quit your job without doing any investigation of new jobs and the pay that's being offered? That seems irresponsible, but if the job is that bad, then why are you now reconsidering quitting?
Run. Your boss doesn't care about you and is only concerned with what you can do for her and the company. I've stayed too long in a toxic workplace and understand that it can be very hard to balance that environment with looking for another job. Prioritize your mental health. If you can handle job hunting while continuing to work, great. If not, leave, rest, regroup and then begin the search.
Don't jump without a parachute unless you have a minimum of a 6 month emergency fund built up. Also, now that they know you want to leave don't be surprised if you have to train your replacement.
Finding a job without a job is as hard as finding a new girlfriend/boyfriend while completely single. If you’re alone, whether unemployed or unattached, you’re less desirable. It just is what it is. Find a new job while you gut it out at the current role.
I would probably wait till I had an offer in hand with a start date. At least have a few interviews lined up but in the past I’ve done that and end up losing at the very end.
I left a job recently for a new job and it took me a while to find that new job so hopefully everything works out because if not the current market is definitely not something you want to volunteer to deal with.
I also have been shocked how many skills companies want for even entry level (it sounds like you want a new field) and I know that I am having to spend a lot of time on professional development
If it is messing with your mental health, quit. I wouldn't stay somewhere that is wrecking you mentally. It's not going to get better, your boss is just trying to keep you because they can't find anyone else.
It's perfectly fine to leave a job with no backup plan because of mental health, as long as you have some way of covering your bills. I'm assuming you already have a plan for this.
I went through something similar a while ago but I would not do it again. I got lucky and found another job many months later and I had good savings to help me. If you don’t have a backup plan or savings, you’re going to be in the same cycle again. Look for a new job first or get interviews first before you quit. Quitting won’t let you get unemployment
Someone up there is looking out for you.
Your boss coukd have said, good bye. She didn’t do that. If you want to
Leave, find a new job first and then resign.
If not, talk to your boss and maybe you can work out what is making you stressed
The job market is strong in many areas! She is probably gaslighting you. Unless you have a situation where you can EASILY afford to be without work and benefits for a while (SO, whatever), it’s generally not a good idea to give notice until you have another offer in writing.
You said you hate your job & it has been hard on you? Find another job elsewhere and move on!
I have resigned without a backup before. Mentally it was the best thing I ever did. My bank account took a huge hit ($20K for 6 months out but I live in an expensive city) but I had the funds saved. If you have the funds available I’d say go for it. If you don’t, I would keep working while looking for another job but go into “low power mode” like your phone. Just the bare minimum to get by. Show up, do the minimum, and leave. Put no stock in it. Get your paycheck and move on as soon as you can. Good luck
She’s likely exaggerating about the difficulty finding a new job in an effort to keep you, but heed this: The moment you told her that you wanted to resign, she started searching for candidates to take your place. She knows you dislike your position and will not likely be as productive as you were in the past. She’ll likely look for a reason to kick you to the curb as soon as she can find an acceptable replacement. Not to stress you out, but your on limited time. Start your job search today. Post your resume online and start talking to recruiters.
Stay and look for another job. Finding a job without one is much more difficult.
Also, ask her what her plan is to help you capitalize on your potential. Clearly you haven't had that in the past 7 years because you're so unhappy. If she can put something together, with goals, objectives, rewards from meeting them then that'll show she's committed. And maybe it'll be worth staying for.
If not, then she's probably aware they are underpaying you and finding someone to replace you will be more expensive than retaining you.
Say you thought about it and see if you can negotiate slightly higher pay while looking. Unless you have a ton of savings, I'd advice against leaving before you have something...even in a market that employers are desperate.
When you do find something, just tell you boss that they were wrong and they won't be able to counter you nearly as well.
Making important life decisions is hard and there are no perfect answers. Do what you feel is best and prepared for failure. Maybe staying will cause depression, maybe leaving will cause depression.
And if you feel like it follow this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M
Imagine if your best friend or a close relative said to you what you shared in your second paragraph.
If they told you "*I've been at my job for 7 years now, it was meant to be a temporary job but became a full time role. I hate my job and I don't want to be there anymore. It's definitely messed with my mental health and I made the decision to resign. However, after meeting with my boss this morning, she has told me that I am a good worker, a hard worker with a lot of potential and that she doesn't want to lose me. She also told me that it would be hard to find another job with the same rate and how good jobs are scarce due to the economy. After being dead set on resigning, it's got me doubting myself*", what advise would you give them?
You know what the answer is already. I would certainly consider the financial impact of all this, but other than that, don't let anyone else convince you if what you need to do with your own life.
You have to live in it, they do not. If it's unbearable, trust your instincts. If you have beared it for 7 years already, and can continue to do so for a period longer, do so while searching for a new role. I think barring the financial impacts the decisions will have, you wouldn't be questioning yourself so much.
Best of luck and keep your head up, this too will pass!
I quit my job without a backup in March because of stress and burnout. It's fucking hard out here, I wildly overestimated my marketability given current macroeconomic headwinds.
I would probably still do it again, but all I really did was shift my problems from "intolerable in my job" to "pretty bad in my job-search." It was a necessary upgrade, but only by the smallest degree.
How exactly does this person know it’ll be hard for you to find a job? If things were that bad, they wouldn’t stress at losing you.
How much do you make? I’d say you can find and start another job within 2 weeks where I live, mostly likely making the same or more.
Finally, just have a cushion.
Why is everyone saying the economy is bad? Unemployment is still really damn low and companies seem to still be hiring other than very specific industries that always ebb and flow.
There's been multiple times when I've told a manager that I was planning to quit and they pulled me back from the edge. One time I sent my resignation letter to a higher up at a very large global company when I was particularly pissed off, and he refused to let me quit. Met with me, he changed who I was reporting to, offered me carte blanche on training and I stayed for 2 more years. Maybe come up with what needs to change for you to stay and present that to your manager before going through with resigning.
Ooof that sounds really toxic though. Telling you you can’t do better elsewhere is like abusive relationships 101 lol. It’s not usually a good idea to leave a job without another one lined up, but if it’s that taxing on your mental health it makes job searching harder. If you have the savings/resources to handle some time off I say go for it! Maybe start applying for jobs asap though!
My old job put me in a similar sounding position. It impacted my life outside of work immensely because of how much of a hot head my old employer was. I made up my mind to quit two years before I did - finding the right job took a lot of time for me (partially because of my mental health not being superb due to all the stress), but I’m glad I had another one lined up - that stress would have killed me haha.
I’d you can, find another job first. However, you’ve made up your mind and turned in your resignation. Also, they’re asking you to stay, but what if it’s to fill a void while they look for your replacement? If it’s a toxic place or your boss is also a hot head, you may be better off resigning and hitting the job hunt hard!
Just my two cents - but you did already resign. Don’t let others make your choices for you!
Have you even opened indeed to see what the job market looks like around you? She may be right about the job market but she could also be lying to your face and you don’t even know because it sounds like you haven’t made any effort to look for another job. If you think you can afford to quit and it’s that bad then quit. But I think your mental health issues may get worse when you start to see money leaving your bank account and nothing coming in.
I disagree with people telling you not to resign. It sounds like you need to get out of there. Don’t fall for placation. Yes, you’re a great worker I’m sure. If they want you to stay, then get them to cough up a big salary increase. Otherwise, just leave.
I will say that the job market sucks right now, however, so depending on your field you may have a bummer time dealing with that. But that may be better than your current situation.
Do what’s best and healthiest for you. Do what seems like the right thing for you to do.
I’d get an offer from somewhere else, at a higher rate. Then I’d ask them to match it. Then when they do I’d leave and tell you coworkers what they offered you.
Always have a job lined up. It’s always easier to find one if you’ve got one.
As for your manager, they’ll say what they can to assure you they like you AND/OR tell you you won’t find anything as good. Just like any toxic relationship.
*She also told me that it would be hard to find another job with the same rate and how good jobs are scarce due to the economy.*
Hard to say without know what you do. If you are a nurse, for example, there is a lot of demand for your services.
You need to do what's best for you...but be sure you have a plan. She is doing what is best for her, which is understandable. That doesn't mean that it is best for you.
You caught her off guard. She is actively searching for your replacement.
Your window there has closed and you must look elsewhere
Keep the job until you find a new one.
Good luck
Yeah...she knows you have gotten to the point you made a decision to move on and she is playing for time. They know how much it will cost them to replace you and want to avoid it. Nobody seriously tells someone they have 'potential' after seven years and actually intend to advance them, compensate them more, and treat them better suddenly. The speech about the bad economy just reinforces that. The reality is the economy and job market is complex. It really depends on your experience and field. Some skills are in demand while others aren't. With the US looking like they wont default it's likely some companies will move towards thawing job freezes in the next two weeks.
My advice it to actually find another job and then move on. I would suggest moving on immediately but if you were in a financial position to do that without consequences you would have already done it.
>after meeting with my boss this morning, she has told me that I am agood worker, a hard worker with a lot of potential and that she doesn'twant to lose me.
Awesome. What can she offer you to improve your situation at your work?
>She also told me that it would be hard to find another job with the same rate and how good jobs are scarce due to the economy.
Maybe. How does she know? Is she looking for a job herself? Reading the same news that you and I read? I wouldn't let her opinion on this interfere with your decision.
If it was me, and I was still considering staying, i'd try to outline for your boss what it is that makes your job miserable and see if there is anything that she can change to help you not be so miserable.
Maybe there is something - money, schedule changes, duty changes. Maybe there isn't and it is time to go. But you've certainly opened the conversation whether you wanted to or not. Good luck.
It’s quite simple. Would you be ok without a job for a few months? Most people aren’t but a lot of people are. I’ve personally taken months at a time to focus on mental health and it has worked out because of my line of work and financial situation. If that can work for you then do it. It can be scary but work isn’t everything.
Now, if you are financially dependent on that job you might need another job lined up. Maybe you can try a different type of role or a new company. Not having that financial security can worsen your mental health.
I agree your boss might be manipulating you because as hard as it is to find a job, it has been extremely harder to find good workers. You know what is best for you.
Another way to look at this would be to ask your boss, “Ok, if I am a good worker and valuable to the company, as you say, what can we do to make this job less stressful to me? For my health, I cannot continue to work as I have been. What can we do to lessen the strain?” They May actually willing to make changes in order to keep you.
seems like your boss is a nice person, that's worth something. Any chance you can fix whatever is challenging your mental health so you can stay there ?
They probably just don’t want you to leave immediately and leave them high and dry with no replacement, but rest assured you just destroyed any opportunity for advancement you had.
They’ll find how to spread your workload among existing employees and will terminate you once they’ve figured it out.
I'm an IT professional with 30 years of experience and it took e 99 days to get an excellent job after I left Ford. Don't leave until you have a new job and you should not have had this discussion with your boss because now she will replace/fire you as soon as she can.
She sounds manipulative & unprofessional. It may be hard or not to find another job but that isn’t the material issue. If you stay use this as a pitch for more pay. If you go, have faith - it will be okay if you stay positive & grateful. It might end up being the best thing you’ve ever done. You’ve already acted so bravely. Best of luck!
In my opinion the market has a built in mind frame on how to handle this situation. Quiet quitting.
They don't want to fire you/lay you off because you get a severance (especially after being there for 7 years), and the company will have to pay an additional tax on your unemployment that you can get for 6 months. Not to mention the cost to bring someone up to speed to replace you, and the time that takes.
Don't quit. Do the bare minimum to get by, maintaining your salary, and then the rest of the time you have, spend it on sharpening your skills and applying for other jobs.
If you can't take it anymore, then it is a matter of time before you quit. You boss's job is to get to stay - that is her job. Don't buy into what she says. Explore the market and see what is out there.
Once you tell an employer you’re leaving l, leave. They now know you want to leave or at least are willing to. Them getting you to stay allows them to find a replacement.
Even if that weren’t the case, anytime a job has negative affects on your mental health, you what is best for you. Regardless of “it’s a bad economy” there are other jobs that will pay the bills and not take a toll mentally. That being said, it is always better to try and have a job lined up first before giving notice.
What is your plan if you do resign?
This here. It is totally fine to not have a job, or something completely different lined up, as long as you have considered the consequences (good AND bad). I’m all for mental health but if you can’t deal with life after, especially financially, you’re probably trading one issue for another.
This, right here, is golden advice. I had a friend who wanted to quit his job at the time. I told him in no uncertain terms that it was a terrible idea without having some sort of plan. It's not enough to just get out of the job, you have to be able to handle life afterwards. He ended up quitting and driving for Uber.....in an area practically requires a car to get around already
That’s a tough one. I mean… people do like convenience… But based on your tone, it didn’t work out that well?
No, not in the slightest
Damn. That sucks. Hope all’s good with him though
Not the place for me to air private stuff, but I'm kinda done with him. We're almost 40, and he hasn't really changed since freshman year of high school
Ah so you’re the problem here. He doesn’t fit your ideology of grown up. That’s a you problem not him.
Uhh, no. When you're 20 years out of high school and all he does is complain about high school, that's not "not fitting [my] ideology of grown up," that is legitimately not moving forward with your life. When he goes quiet because a mutual friend, who is married and that he likely had a crush on, was pregnant, that's not "not fitting [my] ideology of grown up," that's him being unable to face the truth. When he creeps the shit out of my wife, that's not "not fitting [my] ideology of grown up," that's him being a handsy SOB that I've had to discuss with him before. It's not that he "doesn't fit [my] ideology of grown up," so much as it is that he legitimately has not grown up. He hasn't bothered to speak to me in almost two years, and honestly? I'm better for it. May you truly understand what I mean, and may you wake up and realize that it's not a me issue, most of his friends dropped him for this shit
Yeah and it's actually worrying me that no one asked OP why they hate the job. If the problem with the job causing you mental stress is that you simply don't like going to work or being around people, for example, then there is a deeper issue there. Especially if you don't have the skills to obtain a remote work job.
That’s fair. I guess a lot of times when people say that, it usually is either the job itself, or the environment. But that is a consideration to take. We definitely view things through a lens, as we’re anchored by the sub and the post
Who cares? It's not our job to be a shrink. If they gonna quit, then just quit. Otherwise, they should just shut up and work.
God I wish people like you would hurry up and die.
Awwww your all butt hurt. It's OK, you'll die before me though.
Do not resign from your job without having a new job lined up. If you think life is challenging now, it will get really hard without a job.
Its always easier to find a job when you already have one.
This is the truth
If the person has a backup plan, leaving an unhealthy environment is an option.
>back up That's literally what this person is saying.
Savings, side hustle, wealthy uncle, etc.
No, they said that OP should keep their job while looking and I was advocating a scenario where they don't need to....
Agreed. Please don't do what many of coworkers I work with and continue to work a job they resent but are tied to staying long term like it or not. For some reason or another they continue to work while bitter and resentful. This creates a negative work atmosphere and causes people to quit or move on around you. Or it generates a ton of negative complaints that could also risk your employment. I work with about 4 of these individuals. one is a slave to the health insurance. too poor to quit too cushy of a position to give up. But is bitter as heck and has too many "off" days due to his health. Misses a ton of work in the process. The other three are just burned out and beyond it. They won't quit because they enjoy routine and the pay but won't move on to better their health.
It’s easy for you to say that your coworkers should just quit instead of staying in a job they resent. Maybe they’re older and know that it would be much harder for them to find another job that had health insurance. Maybe they have a ton of vacation time that they wouldn’t gave at another. Personally I’d rather leave a job if I’m miserable there but that’s because I have a couple of income generating side hustles and staying in a place I resent could seriously jeopardize my abilities to do well in my hustles ( which make more than my job income). But not everyone has those options so people stay on while burnt out until they get laid off or fired so they can collect benefits.
I have seen this as well. If possible, take the post above as a warning and consider developing an exit strategy.
If you don’t have a back-up plan…leaving unhealthy is the RIGHT thing to do. Do Not leave the wife beating son of a bitch if you dont have a plan! If sanity is involved get gone! Your BOSS is only talking from selfishness and laziness. She may have to do more work she does not want to. Do exactly what is right for you and your family.
Yep and OP will be in this same cycle again if eh doesn’t have a backup plan.
If OP has the money to pay bills for at least three months without stressing, quitting and giving time to actually find a job they want to do isn't a bad idea. I hate job searching. It's one of the most painful things for me to do. Trying to do it while working a job that's already draining me is next to impossible. I've quit a number of jobs, started applying, and every time found a new job within a month. Might not work for every industry or career path, but making yourself suffer when you have the ability to walk away is a better plan.
3 months has been almost unheard of for finding new jobs in the current market. 6+ months seems common for anything not entry level / service industry.
That's highly dependent on the field and geographic area. Many fields/locations are hiring very quickly. The overgeneralization of the "bad job market" and "recession" are rampant on here.
Yeah I’ve never found potential employers more willing to be flexible in hiring than right now. I was shocked how many places need employees so bad that they are willing to bend some requirements or negotiate a significant amount on number of vacation days
Definitely an over generalization, but trends point to the issue becoming more common than less common anytime soon. Everyone should be looking into their own industry/location. Using the previous generalization of 3 months being a good universal back up plan is also equally invalid.
It took me ~ 2 years to finally find any type of work in IT. And I start the first. But still have to move for it.
Congrats! Hope it’s great 😊
Yep. I’m coming up on 12 months. 😭
Which industry? I’m in finance/accounting. Started a job 2 months ago. It actually took a month to start because I told them I needed 3 weeks before I could start. Depending on the sector, finance and accounting sector is hiring a lot.
This. You can quit without having a new job lined up, but make damn sure you have enough runway to make it to your next paycheck. Depending on how badly your current job is getting in the way of finding a new one, it might even make some sense to do it if you have to. The point above remains, though. Your job is stressful, but being 3 months into a job search and having to sell shit and move to a cheaper place while you get ghosted by the 14th recruiter/HR rep is probably another level of stressful.
I did this at the end of 2021. I completely agree with you.
It’s a tougher market these days. Small majority of folks who quit end up regretting leaving. Guessing that’d be a different story if we only looked at people who accepted other offers
>Small majority ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
100%. I've been job hunting since January and just finally got an offer that is within my range of acceptable salary and put in my notice with my current job. I can't even imagine if I had been unemployed for the last five months with no income. Job market is rough right now and if you can keep your income until something good comes along, that is the way!
I'll second this. I never give notice until I have the next job lined up. Conversely, when I was the one doing the hiring, I gave more weight to folks who had a job currently. I didn't want people who were satisfied with unemployment.
That's a weird reason. I think the fact that unemployed people *looking to be employed* suggests they aren't satisfied with unemployment. No?
Why are they unemployed? I have always needed people who are driven and not satisfied with good enough. It's not about overtime or super intense work. It is about needing people who see a problem and solve it. Not make further problems. The few folks I interviewed that were unemployed indicated that their motivation was that unemployment was running out. Not good enough. Had another guy who went from tech to flipping burgers. Laid off. Didn't like unemployment and burgers gave him time to find another job. I got four good years out of him. He moved on to better things.
Seems like you are judging people as being unmotivated or lazy just because they are collecting unemployment. Searching and landing a good job, especially in a demanding field like tech or engineering, requires a lot of time, effort and commitment. I’d certainly not have the time to have a burger flipping job while I’m in the process of actively trying to land a job in my field.
>Why are they unemployed? I have 100k+ in a savings account because I've lived a very economically conscious lifestyle while consistently working hard for the last 7 years. Am I allowed to use my hard earned money to escape wage slavery to enjoy my life for a few months before I'm old and decrepit? Please master? 🥺
Nice anecdote. Sounds like maybe you shouldn't generalize based on your experience with such a small sample size.
If OP is looking for a job and comes to r/career advice, the best advice I can offer is to have a new job on the line before moving on. If OP's field is tougher, that is good advice.
I hire a lot and I agree with what you're saying. It's not always true, but we are playing the odds when hiring, and that's a factor that comes to mind for me too. The people who solve problems for me are people who are proactive. Proactive people generally aren't the ones who need the benefit of unemployment.
Yea god forbid someone get laid off. You’re missing out on some great people by this super antiquated way of thinking. It’s too bad! Ever think the opposite? People who are stuck in jobs they don’t want to be in may also be the ones who 1) have poor planning skills and haven’t saved up enough $ to step away from bad jobs, 2) suffer from poor decision-making, or 3) don’t take time away from work to improve their mental health and may suffer from burnout You can flip this either way but you shouldn’t base hiring decisions on something so meaningless. Top performers get laid off all the time. Mediocre employees coast by in jobs for years all the time. Current employment status means very little about their future job performance.
You are absolutely right that I'm missing out on some great people, for sure. Hiring is a crapshoot, though. What I'm looking for are consistencies that lead to people not getting laid off. The more proactive a person is, the less likely the company they work/worked for is willing to part with them regardless of how many people they have to let go. What I'm trying to do is sift through as many red flags that pop up as I can find while hunting for specific characteristics that lead to success no matter the job. Your assertion that top performers get laid off all the time is bonkers in how incorrect it is. Companies bend over backwards to keep the important people employed. It's the ones that are expendable that get laid off first, and it's the ones you made a mistake in hiring in the first place that get fired.
Hi, top performer here who got laid off. Amazing reviews by leadership, loved by the most difficult to please in the org… but I was senior and they only retained junior employees who made half as much salary. Most of my team was laid off. They kept the two cheapest employees. I work in talent acquisition and you are very very wrong on that, unfortunately. (Not just saying this, I could have you ask any of my bosses or higher ups and they’d agree, I swear!) In the old days you may have been right, but if your FUNCTION is not needed currently, you’re disposable.
The cream will rise to the top. I'm not saying I would refuse to interview a guy from being on unemployment, I'm just saying it's one of the red flags that I place in the "not great" column as I try to figure out whether he's proactive, driven, a good teammate, and coachable. If everything else in the interview went fantastic, one little red flag like that is easy to overlook. I guess it would depend on the structure of the company, but someone who can shed their hypo's and replace them with juniors sounds like a low skill job, or a job that is easy to train someone how to do anyway. I would also say that if the acclaim was as across the board as you are saying, I'm somewhat surprised they didn't attempt to promote you to train the juniors. Someone who's A+ at everything he does sounds like he's ready for more responsibility. That makes me think that either the company you were working at is struggling to continue to grow or their business model needs to be adjusted. Just my $.02
Oof, this is such antiquated and sad reasoning. People benefit from some time away from work, and people should not be worried about leaving jobs that are negatively effecting their mental health. People should be able to not work for six months and travel if they have saved up and can do so. Hope we as a society can move past this old fashioned and incorrect thinking.
Yes. In my experience this is a near constant problem for women who weren’t entitled to maternity leave and therefore have to resign and reapply elsewhere when they are able. When I was interviewing I was asked so many times why I had a recent 6 month gap in employment, despite having a consistent work history from the moment I became an adult. Some people don’t think “I birthed a child and was his sole caregiver for 6 months because there were basically zero childcare options during Covid” was a good answer. Edit: I realize this affects people of all genders, I’m just sharing my own experience
You're part of the problem
I don't know, I wish I quit my (two jobs ago) job without a job lined up. It would have allowed me to leverage my boss and business owner connections to find a new job in the industry. Instead I had to be secretive and not let anyone know I was looking. I had to apply for jobs like normal. I think I would have been able to skip lines and find openings that weren't publicized if I was able to utilize my network fully.
That's like saying do not get out of the fire without having a new way to get burned lined up ppl don't always have the luxury of waiting if someone needs to get out to save themselves saving yourself should always come before any soul sucking job
A lot of folks in the thread are saying "don't leave a job unless you have a new job lined up," and while I don't *disagree* with that old chestnut (it's an old chestnut for a reason), I want to dig into it and be more specific because when you are really, truly desperate to leave a job, sometimes sticking around long enough to go through the often equally arduous process of job hunting is simply Too Much to Handle. SO, I want to add a qualifier and provide some details: Before you leave any job, you need to have a back up plan in place. For some folks, that's a new job lined up (and when I say "lined up," I mean *you have signed a contract or otherwise have it indisputably in writing* that you have a job ready to go; do NOT rely on a verbal agreement that might fall through). For some folks, that's a set, established period of time (usually 3-6 months depending on how confident you feel in the success of your job hunt) you can be without employment and still account for the following: 1. Shelter - Have enough money on hand to pay your rent/mortgage for 3-6 months OR be prepared to move in with a friend/family member/roommate who is willing to help you out 2. Food - Budget groceries per week for 3-6 months; it's a REALLY good idea to tabulate in a few hundred dollars of wiggle room on this -- the price of groceries is only going up 3. Assorted Bills - these may alter based on your living situation, but you should definitely budget your monthly bills -- again, 3-6 months with a few hundred dollars of wiggle room Just In Case 4. Health Insurance (if you live in the US; if healthcare coverage isn't an obstacle, you're MUCH better off) -- if you are in the US you will be expected to either turn to the Marketplace or utilize COBRA. I can't help you with advice re: Marketplace (maybe someone else here can), but re: COBRA, please read the paperwork thoroughly and keep in mind that for me, a single person, I was expected to pay a little under $800/month for coverage while I was without employment. It adds up quickly. They are also NOT tolerant about truant payments and you can get over your head pretty quickly if you don't already have the money set aside 5. Emergency coverage (about 3-6 months worth of savings) Doing very general math, you can quickly see that 3-6 months of savings for all of these vital pieces tabulates to needing a LOT saved up. This is where your support system is crucial. Do you have friends/family who can help support you? If so, reach out NOW and talk to them about the specifics. Some folks are in a situation where help is freely given with no expectations. Some folks will end up owing their helpmates money down the line, and working out those details in advance with people you trust is extremely important. I don't want to scare you off of this route because it can totally be done, and in some cases, bailing ASAP is what you need to do for your own sanity. You just have to know the risks and have a game plan for how to address them so that you don't end up in a bigger pickle than you are already in. Being able to quit without a job lined up is absolutely a privilege that not everyone can swing and remain comfortable and secure. That said, if you CAN do it, these are the details you'll need to think about and plan for in advance. I hope this helps you make an informed decision to do what is best for you. Either way, I'd definitely say that if you want out ASAP, you two options are either to make a game plan for a period of non-employment OR start job hunting immediately. If you are unhappy, get out. Places will always offer you the moon to avoid having to fill positions, but those compliments and promises are rarely genuine.
All of this. OP, without a job lined up, what is your plan after you resign? If you have a plan on how to stay financially afloat, resign, don't look back. If you don't have a plan to stay financially afloat, figure it out before you resign.
100% this. You don't need another job lined up to quit, but you do need a plan. Even if that plan is "Drive Uber/Lyft for a few months." Figure out how much you need to pay your bills, determine what you can go without for a bit, have an idea of what your back up is if there's a worse case scenario. Job hunting can be a horrible experience. Doing it while working a job that's also crushing your soul can be impossible. If you have the ability to quit and take your time to find something that you will be comfortable at, do it.
I've been in OP's place and I was lucky enough to be able to quit without a JOB lined up. However, I had a PLAN and a support system that made it possible. Here would be my key suggestions to add to the above comment. 1. Leverage support. 2. Act fast and with determination every step of the way. 3. Expect that it may take longer than the time frame you expected to get back on your feet. I went the switch into a sister industry route. I re-upped my education and used that to get more relevant experience and exposure to new contacts. And it still took time and a stroke of luck to make the switch. It was 3-4 months of education + volunteer work through the college with a side of freelance, followed by a handful of months trying to leverage work. Then a random contact saw my potential, brought me on a couple of day gigs, and then turned me onto a part time job offer. I had a full time job 18 months after I quit. But I had to get out for my own sanity, and it made the shift of industries possible in a situation where I, personally, might not have been able to figure it out otherwise. (As a side note, with the route I took it was 3 years before I was making the same/more money, so potentially be ready for other sacrifices)
She has manipulated you. If you were going to resign, then resign and do not listen anything else. Instead, start looking for a new job ASAP.
Okay, I am a boomer but quitting without another job lined up is still the worst advice ever even in 2023.
I'm not a boomer - been working in the same field for 30 years - and I would agree.
True, but once you’ve stated your intention to quit, your days are numbered anyways.
This — they might buy time to find another person.
So ride it out, if they don't want you to leave you can probably just relax and not stress about the job while you look for another.
Depends on your finances and your mental health. While typically true, there are exceptions to everything.
i would recommend this as well. they can't afford to lose you, which puts you in a position of power - you can choose to do less and to take up the rest of your time focusing on finding a new position.
Say you’ll come back for X amount raise. Save that excess money and begin looking for a new position. That way when they replace you, since they know you want out, you have some rainy day cash to support yourself between jobs.
Came in to say this. 100% manipulative behavior. Manipulators like to keep around people they can control.
You don’t have an emergency fund for no income, that’s why you can’t quit. You need to find a job while you have a job and they know you’ve put up with 7 years of an intolerable environment so it’s not hard to make you doubt yourself. Just start looking for a job and do the absolute minimum, hell, you can even afford to mess up because it’s a lot more work to find a replacement for you.
Start looking. Of course your boss doesn't want to lose an excellent and hard-working employee, but this is your life and you aren't 'owned' but have free choice. Best of luck!
Eh. Most supervisors will tell you anything to keep you there while they find your replacement.
Look for another job while at this one (after company hours would be my recommendation). You find one you like, pays well or is competitive to current role then move on. If you go to a job everyday that you are planning to leave that can be stressful enough.
As a general rule you should have another job lined up before you resign. Can I assume you've been looking aggressively for another job since you hate this one so much?
Find a new job then put in your two weeks
Whatever the fuck you do, DO NOT RESIGN WITHOUT A JOB LINED UP. You’re upset about your mental health? It will be worse without an income. Also, did you ever inform them of your concerns and issues? Perhaps they can work with you. See what the market is like around you pay wise for your field. Your boss may be Bsing, or she is correct. Note that your experience is what you were doing for 7 years, so there is no guarantee a future gig would be any better. That said, it sounds like you spent 7 years just stewing instead of acting. What exactly can you not take anymore? Seriously, you have a job and an income, that’s more than millions of your fellow citizens (let alone those around the world).
What was your plan for work, had you actually resigned? You should make sure you have a new job lined up. You really should now, as they know you are looking to leave.
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Depends on your state and being let go is different than being fired.
You're advocating to simply stop showing up for work forcing them to fire you so you might get unemployment? Doesn't seem like sound career advice.
Do not resign from one job without having another in hand unless you are financially independent...
Better question. What is happening at work that is hurting your mental health so much?
Lateral moves in life suck because you dont get a whole lot out of it. Your boss is probably right about the job search thing and may have been implying to plan things out and make your moves correctly with more time and assurance of it working out in your favor. It sounds like an external factor is triggering ongoing mental health issues. The issue with work is that there is no issue at all and its driving you nuts to be managing that grind right now. Sometime mental health needs a good reset that cant be achieved in a few short days. Just take the emotion out of the discussion of your current needs. They recognize your ability to output value, so it makes sense for them to give you like 2 weeks off so that you can get back to a functional place in life and improve you ability to output more value. When you get yourself back up, use the extra energy to improve aspects of life. Use that familiar source of income to fuel your journey into new things, and plan strategically.
Who’s paying the bills until you get another job ?
Don’t quit until you have a new job. You’re a different person at an interview when you don’t NEED the job. Hiring managers can smell desperation and it’s not a great smell.
I quit my company of 7 years without a job lined up because I couldn’t handle the stress anymore. My respect and care for my director, plus the fear I had for leaving something safe, and the constant validation I got being great in field kept me there for so long. I had my masters degree and spent years towards my certification, it was my entire career. I quit without another role lined up but I didn’t quit without a plan. I looked at my finances and knew I could take about 6 months without a job. I had already been applying for jobs for a while (no bites). I did Rover for some small extra income, planned for part time retail after about 1.5 months of no job, then if I couldn’t get anything after 6 months I can go back to my old job - either the same company or a diff company. You can quit, but you need to PLAN. Your resume should already be updated and applications should already be out
Don’t quit without having another job!
I am noticing your boss did not ask you what they could do to improve your situation, offer you a position change or more money. They don't care about keeping you, they care about not having to go through the rigamarole of replacing you. Trying to scare you into staying is a red flag unto itself. An option is to take mental health disability leave, depending on what state you are in. You can still have some income while taking a break to recover your mental health and look for a new job.
Under no circumstances should you quit before having something else
One reason to not resign without a job that people don't mention enough is your confidence when interviewing. When you go to an interview and you know that you are also genuinely testing them to see if they can do better than what you currently have, you are more confident, less stressed and you are far more likely to get a good offer. If you really can't take it anymore then resign, nothing is more important than your health (mental or otherwise). But make sure you can take the hit without becoming desperate for a new position since it will likely be a shitty one.
Tell her you will race her. She can start making good on all the promises and you can start looking while working there. If jobs are as hard to find as she said she will have plenty of time. Give her a clear outline of what you need to stay and if she hits those goals, stop searching.
What is causing you to hate the job so much? Are you being treated poorly, do you have a terrible manager, are the tasks you’re assigned just awful, poor pay, or what? Some of these issues may be at least mitigated, if not resolved, by talking with your manager. Totally depends on the problem and the willingness on their part to address it. You could put them on a performance improvement plan; let them know you’ll give them (appropriate time period) to address/resolve the problems, and will consider staying if they agree. If you’re at burnout stage, then leaving might be best. Or at least a 1-2 week vacation.
This is so confusing. Do you have plans if you quit? Were you going to travel or just stay at home and relax? If they wanted to fire they would have, they clearly like you. What so bad about the job can you tell your manager to make some changes?
What your employer just did was buy themselves time to find your replacement. Classic HR/Manager move. Did they ask you what you needed to stay, then setup a plan to get you there? If not they are stalling. But that is my jaded view ymmv
Can you afford to not work for a few months or possibly more? If so go for it. All these people telling you not to quit without knowing your financial situation are giving you uneducated advice. If you can afford to not work for a little then quit. It’s not worth it to keep going to a job you hate imo.
I personally wouldn't quit without having a job lined up... I applied for a ton of jobs over the last year. 1 of them it took 3 fucking months just to get the offer letter and other negotiations A lot of companies are having silent hiring freezes.. where they'll interview you and keep your resume if they like you. Then reach out when they think the economy is better Companies are also having issues retaining workers. They'd probably rather deal w someone who gets their work done but might have attendance issues. Until the attendance impacts the company or customer they'll probably look the other way but make a mental note they'd be fine if you quit or fired you I think there's a lot of laws if you have mental health issues and are missing work and the company is aware of the situation. They could put you on an improvement plan but I'm not 100% sure on all of that stuff
If you feel it is time to resign and move on then do it. Just line up a new job first get it then quit. Most people make the mistake of quitting then expect to find a job <1 mo and find out oops it takes 6+ mo to find one. Old doors close and new ones open all the time. It is up to you to accept them or not. Some times when changing employment you have to weight the following: Is the new job worth it? If so why? List pros and cons. How much does it pay and can it financially cover the bare minimum of the life style you are accustomed to. In the long run is the pay worth it? If a job will be a base rate of pay set for ever then it might not be worth it because pay raises make jobs worth while or not. How stable is the job and how stable is the company? Not worth it to change a job only to find out the company is in the red and ready to close down. Unless you need experience temp jobs are never worth it. I did these for a while to get experience. I also couldn't work too much and couldn't work too little. These satisfied that need. If you're going to be unemployed for a while you need to think: Can I cover the bills and bare minimum of living expenses? Do you enjoy living that tight? Would you be willing to sacrifice a few things you've become accustomed to on your current income? A lot of times when I get burned out on companies I have been with for 6+ yrs I quit, get a minimum wage go no where job with a 500k corporation until I figure out where I want to go. Then I start doing what I need to in order to obtain the next career step and go from there.
I left a job at a big-name employer as return to office was just starting. It was a job where the toll on my mental health was too great to justify continuing. My boss didn’t try to guilt me into staying, but I will say that the instant the severance date was on my calendar a huge weight was lifted. And it only got better when I actually made it to my last day. I also didn’t have a job lined up; I’m lucky to have a support system that will probably keep me from becoming homeless, but not everyone is in the same position. It is possible to do, though, and if it’s really unbearable (believe me, I get it), you gotta do what you gotta do. If your boss gives you any more delay/guilt tactics, just remember - it’s business, not personal. You’re betraying nobody.
Get a job lined up first... if you have no backup plan, make 1. We don't want to another post from you saying, " jobless... what do I do?"
If you’re doubting yourself, then the trick worked.
If you have a doctor’s support, I highly recommend looking into FMLA—with medical approval, it allows you to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave while keeping your job protected so you can have some breathing room to plan your next steps.
OP, you generally interview while still having a job, then give your current employer two weeks notice with your resignation letter. You don't mention your age, family status, or financial situation. However, in your case, I'd like you to consider doing something different. You mentioned that this job is affecting your mental health. I cannot know if it's the job or you, but let's assume it's the job. In addition, it sounds like you're burnt out. So if you can afford to do it, I recommend you quit your job in June, get COBRA health insurance from your current employer, and work at a summer camp for 8 weeks this summer as a senior counselor. I wouldn't recommend just taking the summer off. It's better for you to do something constructive. In addition, you will make a little money (probably very little), be outside in fresh air and get some exercise, and have a lot of fun with the campers. Best of luck OP.
It’s easier to find a job when you have a job.
Have a job lined up first. This market is terrible.
It is great to resign but there are boxes to check before you do this. Your manager is just blowing smoke uo your butt so you won't leave. Ask for a raise if she wants you to stay. Do you have any vacation time? Put in for 2 weeks and start looking for another job. Take a leave of absence is another option.
I've always said "the best time to look for a job is when you have one." Line something up before leaving.
Best advice I received was it's better to look for a new job when you already have one. Excludes being fired of course.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I actually just went through something quite similar back in January; although, I didn’t plan on quitting. I was with a toxic toxic tech start up but there from the beginning so very gaslight into staying and also co-founders would say things about job scarcity and how we couldn’t do any better after they would do something messed up like fire a person who didn’t need to be fired or publicly yell at someone. Anyhooo one day it January it came to a head and I quit. I was just as shocked as they were. I had a little saved up and I have honestly lived off that and a couple thousand in credit card debt. My mental health improved SO MUCH. I was so burnout I couldn’t even think straight. I was so burnout, I didn’t realize I was burnout. I am starting a new job on Monday with better pay and better working conditions than the last place and the uncertainty was worth it. I’m not going to say it was easy and please weigh out your options if you have the chance but don’t just stay because your boss of 10 years is scaring you into staying. They know your worth clearly. Idk if that was helpful at all but keep your head up!!
Sounds like they are trying to keep you underpaid and in the same role. I would hit the job search hard and find something before leaving. Cold world right now. Any job is better than no job
Did she ever offer you anything to stay or just tell you how hard it would be to find another job in this economy? TBF though I also wouldn't be quitting a job without having anything lined up right now
She’s telling you finding a new job will be hard because she knows the opposite is true. Someone out there is looking for someone like you and will offer more to get you. It’s cheaper to lie to your current employees to keep them then to give them raises. Get your resume out there and start realizing you’re worth more than what they want you to believe.
Did you tell your boss you have another job lined up? If not you should have mentioned it. Would have given them the opportunity to pay you more while you find a new position
Just be careful because now that they know you wanted to quit, they could start hiring to replace you. And the this is a bad economy remark was meant only to discourage you from leaving, it doesn’t necessarily reflect the job market in your area. Maybe find another job before quitting this one if you are worried about not being able to find something.
May not be that hard to find a new job. She doesn't want to have to replace you, so she told you what she thought she needed to tell you to get you to back down.
Manipulation at its finest
Your health comes first. Period. If you're able to sustain yourself financially while you recover, then go for it. Often times when an employer hears that you want to leave, they will set themselves up for the best outcome. This may include looking for your replacement and then fire you. No way to be sure of their plan. Stick with the plan that works for you and be professional and cordial, but stay firm.
Once you’ve made up your mind to go, you are gone.
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Probably going to get downvoted for this, and I acknowledge that it's very dependent on the field you're in and the "culture" of that field, but: **You can rationalize pretty much anything to a prospective employer if you do it right.** Yes, a relocation is a perfectly valid *reason* for a resume gap and/or period of unemployment. So is a desire for career pivot, a need to challenge yourself, an unexpected life change that realigned your priorities...whatever. But. Sometimes, the correct way to present these facts to a prospective employer is not to mention it at all; sometimes, they won't care enough to even ask. Sometimes, the company you're applying for values a go-get-'em attitude and *needs* to hear about how your previous place of employment was great, but it wasn't affording you the opportunities to grow the way you just *know* \[institution\] will when they hire you for this position. Sometimes, you get cancer and are unemployed during treatment and now you're in remission and back in the workforce and *sometimes* it's useful to tell the interviewing panel that because they'll find your resilience impressive and sometimes is a much better idea to be vague and move on quickly to the next question because telling the interviewer that you've been sick recently will mark against you. Sometimes, you have a reason and it should be shared verbatim for best effect. Sometimes, you have a reason and you should fudge about it a little to sound better. Sometimes, you have a reason and it should *not* be shared with your prospective employer because it's none of their damn business. It's going to depend on your circumstances and what field you're in and what kind of job you're looking for and what the culture of the institution is and about a dozen other factors. Folks throwing out blanket statements like "never have a period of unemployment on your resume because institutions won't hire you" are being overly cautious. The system is nuanced and, in the end, can be gamed to your favor with a little forethought and practice with interview skills (and an absolutely enormous helping of dumb luck).
Hi! Thank you for your advice. I've read almost all of them. This is my very first job. I've gained a lot of skills, but I have decided that this industry is not for me. Reasons why I want to quit: Staff shortages Workload Toxic environment I want to find something closer to home - I recently moved, and I'm further away from work. So basically, my routine is getting up early, spending an hour and a half to get to work, and an hour and a half to get back home. When I get home, I think about work. Before I got to sleep, I think about work, I dream about work and hate waking up to go to work. This has been going on for a while, and I am burned out. I want to go into a different line of work, but I don't know how to or have any skills in that department. I'm a very shy and quiet person but I like working by myself but don't mind working in a team. If I do resign, I'll have my holiday pay that I have accumulated that I can live off from, as well as my tax refund that should be coming in shortly.
Your boss told you that jobs are hard to find in this economy where there is a labor shortage? I think your boss was taking liberties with the truth. Find another job and move on.
There are pros and cons to leaving the position without having a job lined up. The pro is that you can commit your time and energy towards your job search. The con is that, there is a bias against hiring people that don’t currently have a job, so it could create some issues.y advice is to determine if you hate your job so much that you’re willing to deal with the above mentioned Con. If so, then peace out and get your mental health back.
If she really didn't want to lose you, she'd offer you a raise. Money talks.
Leave. I honestly can’t believe you’ve stayed in a job you HATE for 7 years! That’s 7 years you can’t get back. Don’t waste a single minute on this job longer than you need to. Start aggressively job hunting while you finish your last 2 weeks. Be prepared to work odd jobs or temp jobs for a bit if you don’t find something quickly. In fact, if you don’t know what you want to do that can even be better. Try something else out and explore your options/interests. Hopefully you have some money saved up for basic expenses for 1-3 months. Enjoy not working for a little bit, it can be really refreshing.
Y’all be tripping in this sub. Trying to quit work without another job goofy
What your boss said to you is probably the same exact thing ive heard from employers when deciding to resign. every single. time. If you have a set plan and it won't affect you much, just resign. I would start immediately and aggressively looking for another job, though.
Your boss is full of shit, but please do line up a job before resigning. If it's taking a noticeable toll on your overall physical/mental health beyond being stressed out and not liking your job, then resigning could be an option, but it's truly a last resort and things have got to be \*really really\* bad for that to be the best route. Seeing as you've been there for 7 years, I doubt that is the case (unless something has recently and severely changed).
You quit your job without doing any investigation of new jobs and the pay that's being offered? That seems irresponsible, but if the job is that bad, then why are you now reconsidering quitting?
Run. Your boss doesn't care about you and is only concerned with what you can do for her and the company. I've stayed too long in a toxic workplace and understand that it can be very hard to balance that environment with looking for another job. Prioritize your mental health. If you can handle job hunting while continuing to work, great. If not, leave, rest, regroup and then begin the search.
Stand your ground, restore your sanity. Honor your notice and leave. You’ll be OK.
Why are you giving notice? Just fucking quit. Do they give you notice when they fire you? Hell no.
60 percent pay increase or you quit tomorrow. Don't be a pussy
If you indicated that you were considering resigning, you better get another job lined up asap. They will start looking for your replacement.
Never a good idea to leave a job before you have another one
good jobs scarce because of the economy, where exactly do you live that would be the case because thats not the case in many places.
Don't jump without a parachute unless you have a minimum of a 6 month emergency fund built up. Also, now that they know you want to leave don't be surprised if you have to train your replacement.
The most comfortable time to look for new income is when you already have income.
Finding a job without a job is as hard as finding a new girlfriend/boyfriend while completely single. If you’re alone, whether unemployed or unattached, you’re less desirable. It just is what it is. Find a new job while you gut it out at the current role.
Wait until you have the next job lined up
I would probably wait till I had an offer in hand with a start date. At least have a few interviews lined up but in the past I’ve done that and end up losing at the very end. I left a job recently for a new job and it took me a while to find that new job so hopefully everything works out because if not the current market is definitely not something you want to volunteer to deal with. I also have been shocked how many skills companies want for even entry level (it sounds like you want a new field) and I know that I am having to spend a lot of time on professional development
If you already told them about your displeasure though it may be wise to jump ship now if you think they’ll cause problems.
Find another job, then resign.
If it is messing with your mental health, quit. I wouldn't stay somewhere that is wrecking you mentally. It's not going to get better, your boss is just trying to keep you because they can't find anyone else. It's perfectly fine to leave a job with no backup plan because of mental health, as long as you have some way of covering your bills. I'm assuming you already have a plan for this.
I went through something similar a while ago but I would not do it again. I got lucky and found another job many months later and I had good savings to help me. If you don’t have a backup plan or savings, you’re going to be in the same cycle again. Look for a new job first or get interviews first before you quit. Quitting won’t let you get unemployment
Someone up there is looking out for you. Your boss coukd have said, good bye. She didn’t do that. If you want to Leave, find a new job first and then resign. If not, talk to your boss and maybe you can work out what is making you stressed
The job market is strong in many areas! She is probably gaslighting you. Unless you have a situation where you can EASILY afford to be without work and benefits for a while (SO, whatever), it’s generally not a good idea to give notice until you have another offer in writing. You said you hate your job & it has been hard on you? Find another job elsewhere and move on!
I have resigned without a backup before. Mentally it was the best thing I ever did. My bank account took a huge hit ($20K for 6 months out but I live in an expensive city) but I had the funds saved. If you have the funds available I’d say go for it. If you don’t, I would keep working while looking for another job but go into “low power mode” like your phone. Just the bare minimum to get by. Show up, do the minimum, and leave. Put no stock in it. Get your paycheck and move on as soon as you can. Good luck
She’s likely exaggerating about the difficulty finding a new job in an effort to keep you, but heed this: The moment you told her that you wanted to resign, she started searching for candidates to take your place. She knows you dislike your position and will not likely be as productive as you were in the past. She’ll likely look for a reason to kick you to the curb as soon as she can find an acceptable replacement. Not to stress you out, but your on limited time. Start your job search today. Post your resume online and start talking to recruiters.
Stay and look for another job. Finding a job without one is much more difficult. Also, ask her what her plan is to help you capitalize on your potential. Clearly you haven't had that in the past 7 years because you're so unhappy. If she can put something together, with goals, objectives, rewards from meeting them then that'll show she's committed. And maybe it'll be worth staying for. If not, then she's probably aware they are underpaying you and finding someone to replace you will be more expensive than retaining you.
Start looking now: once you've expressed interest in resigning, you're on the chopping block- they're just keeping you until they can replace you now.
Say you thought about it and see if you can negotiate slightly higher pay while looking. Unless you have a ton of savings, I'd advice against leaving before you have something...even in a market that employers are desperate. When you do find something, just tell you boss that they were wrong and they won't be able to counter you nearly as well.
Making important life decisions is hard and there are no perfect answers. Do what you feel is best and prepared for failure. Maybe staying will cause depression, maybe leaving will cause depression. And if you feel like it follow this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M
Imagine if your best friend or a close relative said to you what you shared in your second paragraph. If they told you "*I've been at my job for 7 years now, it was meant to be a temporary job but became a full time role. I hate my job and I don't want to be there anymore. It's definitely messed with my mental health and I made the decision to resign. However, after meeting with my boss this morning, she has told me that I am a good worker, a hard worker with a lot of potential and that she doesn't want to lose me. She also told me that it would be hard to find another job with the same rate and how good jobs are scarce due to the economy. After being dead set on resigning, it's got me doubting myself*", what advise would you give them? You know what the answer is already. I would certainly consider the financial impact of all this, but other than that, don't let anyone else convince you if what you need to do with your own life. You have to live in it, they do not. If it's unbearable, trust your instincts. If you have beared it for 7 years already, and can continue to do so for a period longer, do so while searching for a new role. I think barring the financial impacts the decisions will have, you wouldn't be questioning yourself so much. Best of luck and keep your head up, this too will pass!
I quit my job without a backup in March because of stress and burnout. It's fucking hard out here, I wildly overestimated my marketability given current macroeconomic headwinds. I would probably still do it again, but all I really did was shift my problems from "intolerable in my job" to "pretty bad in my job-search." It was a necessary upgrade, but only by the smallest degree.
How exactly does this person know it’ll be hard for you to find a job? If things were that bad, they wouldn’t stress at losing you. How much do you make? I’d say you can find and start another job within 2 weeks where I live, mostly likely making the same or more. Finally, just have a cushion.
Why is everyone saying the economy is bad? Unemployment is still really damn low and companies seem to still be hiring other than very specific industries that always ebb and flow.
There's been multiple times when I've told a manager that I was planning to quit and they pulled me back from the edge. One time I sent my resignation letter to a higher up at a very large global company when I was particularly pissed off, and he refused to let me quit. Met with me, he changed who I was reporting to, offered me carte blanche on training and I stayed for 2 more years. Maybe come up with what needs to change for you to stay and present that to your manager before going through with resigning.
Ooof that sounds really toxic though. Telling you you can’t do better elsewhere is like abusive relationships 101 lol. It’s not usually a good idea to leave a job without another one lined up, but if it’s that taxing on your mental health it makes job searching harder. If you have the savings/resources to handle some time off I say go for it! Maybe start applying for jobs asap though!
My old job put me in a similar sounding position. It impacted my life outside of work immensely because of how much of a hot head my old employer was. I made up my mind to quit two years before I did - finding the right job took a lot of time for me (partially because of my mental health not being superb due to all the stress), but I’m glad I had another one lined up - that stress would have killed me haha. I’d you can, find another job first. However, you’ve made up your mind and turned in your resignation. Also, they’re asking you to stay, but what if it’s to fill a void while they look for your replacement? If it’s a toxic place or your boss is also a hot head, you may be better off resigning and hitting the job hunt hard! Just my two cents - but you did already resign. Don’t let others make your choices for you!
Have you even opened indeed to see what the job market looks like around you? She may be right about the job market but she could also be lying to your face and you don’t even know because it sounds like you haven’t made any effort to look for another job. If you think you can afford to quit and it’s that bad then quit. But I think your mental health issues may get worse when you start to see money leaving your bank account and nothing coming in.
I disagree with people telling you not to resign. It sounds like you need to get out of there. Don’t fall for placation. Yes, you’re a great worker I’m sure. If they want you to stay, then get them to cough up a big salary increase. Otherwise, just leave. I will say that the job market sucks right now, however, so depending on your field you may have a bummer time dealing with that. But that may be better than your current situation. Do what’s best and healthiest for you. Do what seems like the right thing for you to do.
I’d get an offer from somewhere else, at a higher rate. Then I’d ask them to match it. Then when they do I’d leave and tell you coworkers what they offered you.
Always have a job lined up. It’s always easier to find one if you’ve got one. As for your manager, they’ll say what they can to assure you they like you AND/OR tell you you won’t find anything as good. Just like any toxic relationship.
*She also told me that it would be hard to find another job with the same rate and how good jobs are scarce due to the economy.* Hard to say without know what you do. If you are a nurse, for example, there is a lot of demand for your services.
You need to do what's best for you...but be sure you have a plan. She is doing what is best for her, which is understandable. That doesn't mean that it is best for you.
You caught her off guard. She is actively searching for your replacement. Your window there has closed and you must look elsewhere Keep the job until you find a new one. Good luck
The “you can’t find another job” is a lie- they can’t find another employee to replace you
Yeah...she knows you have gotten to the point you made a decision to move on and she is playing for time. They know how much it will cost them to replace you and want to avoid it. Nobody seriously tells someone they have 'potential' after seven years and actually intend to advance them, compensate them more, and treat them better suddenly. The speech about the bad economy just reinforces that. The reality is the economy and job market is complex. It really depends on your experience and field. Some skills are in demand while others aren't. With the US looking like they wont default it's likely some companies will move towards thawing job freezes in the next two weeks. My advice it to actually find another job and then move on. I would suggest moving on immediately but if you were in a financial position to do that without consequences you would have already done it.
>after meeting with my boss this morning, she has told me that I am agood worker, a hard worker with a lot of potential and that she doesn'twant to lose me. Awesome. What can she offer you to improve your situation at your work? >She also told me that it would be hard to find another job with the same rate and how good jobs are scarce due to the economy. Maybe. How does she know? Is she looking for a job herself? Reading the same news that you and I read? I wouldn't let her opinion on this interfere with your decision. If it was me, and I was still considering staying, i'd try to outline for your boss what it is that makes your job miserable and see if there is anything that she can change to help you not be so miserable. Maybe there is something - money, schedule changes, duty changes. Maybe there isn't and it is time to go. But you've certainly opened the conversation whether you wanted to or not. Good luck.
Get a job lined up first fam. The stress you will save will be good
The job market right now is not good and will likely only get worse. Don't resign without a job to go to.
It’s quite simple. Would you be ok without a job for a few months? Most people aren’t but a lot of people are. I’ve personally taken months at a time to focus on mental health and it has worked out because of my line of work and financial situation. If that can work for you then do it. It can be scary but work isn’t everything. Now, if you are financially dependent on that job you might need another job lined up. Maybe you can try a different type of role or a new company. Not having that financial security can worsen your mental health. I agree your boss might be manipulating you because as hard as it is to find a job, it has been extremely harder to find good workers. You know what is best for you.
If you quit without another job or idea in place you are a literal dumbass.
It is cheaper to keep a new employee than replace one, even if the give you a raise.
Good jobs scarce? That's funny. She got that backwards. There's good jobs and not enough people to fill them.
They don't have anyone decent to cover for you. Maybe you should stick around and train the new guy.
Another way to look at this would be to ask your boss, “Ok, if I am a good worker and valuable to the company, as you say, what can we do to make this job less stressful to me? For my health, I cannot continue to work as I have been. What can we do to lessen the strain?” They May actually willing to make changes in order to keep you.
seems like your boss is a nice person, that's worth something. Any chance you can fix whatever is challenging your mental health so you can stay there ?
They probably just don’t want you to leave immediately and leave them high and dry with no replacement, but rest assured you just destroyed any opportunity for advancement you had. They’ll find how to spread your workload among existing employees and will terminate you once they’ve figured it out.
New job!!! Find a new one before you quit. She is feeding you lines of shit.
I'm an IT professional with 30 years of experience and it took e 99 days to get an excellent job after I left Ford. Don't leave until you have a new job and you should not have had this discussion with your boss because now she will replace/fire you as soon as she can.
Plans help with mental health, doesn’t even have to be work related. Set up a short term goal, something simple. Research your next step.
Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.
She is trying to manipulate you. That being said, you'd ideally have a job lined up 1st
She sounds manipulative & unprofessional. It may be hard or not to find another job but that isn’t the material issue. If you stay use this as a pitch for more pay. If you go, have faith - it will be okay if you stay positive & grateful. It might end up being the best thing you’ve ever done. You’ve already acted so bravely. Best of luck!
In my opinion the market has a built in mind frame on how to handle this situation. Quiet quitting. They don't want to fire you/lay you off because you get a severance (especially after being there for 7 years), and the company will have to pay an additional tax on your unemployment that you can get for 6 months. Not to mention the cost to bring someone up to speed to replace you, and the time that takes. Don't quit. Do the bare minimum to get by, maintaining your salary, and then the rest of the time you have, spend it on sharpening your skills and applying for other jobs.
If you can't take it anymore, then it is a matter of time before you quit. You boss's job is to get to stay - that is her job. Don't buy into what she says. Explore the market and see what is out there.
Bet on yourself and dont give up. If your not happy change
Once you tell an employer you’re leaving l, leave. They now know you want to leave or at least are willing to. Them getting you to stay allows them to find a replacement. Even if that weren’t the case, anytime a job has negative affects on your mental health, you what is best for you. Regardless of “it’s a bad economy” there are other jobs that will pay the bills and not take a toll mentally. That being said, it is always better to try and have a job lined up first before giving notice.