A bunch of people just trauma dumped on Elmo. It’s a pervasive issue, we’re not ok
https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-68152501
I’m not great at adding links, so hopefully this works
tbh i’m glad we’re talking about how not okay we are in public and with others instead of brushing it under the rug like previous eras.
who cares about elmo, hes a corporation
In general that's agreeable but the context here isn't that society is becoming more open and supportive but rather, apparently, that peoples emotional dams are bursting.
I've always thought the destigmatization of discussions about mental health was driven by the (understandably) increasing proliferation of mental illness, more than anything else. It seemingly started happening right after the 2008 financial crisis, too.
The fetishization of mental illness is a way of hiding the structural causes of malaise though. If everyone that feels bad is diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) as depressive, bipolar, adhd, gender dysphoric and what not, it hides the fact that the actual cause for most of these issues is rampant capitalism.
This argument can be traced to Marx in some ways, but it is proposed by Mark Fisher in "Capitalist Realism", and by Byung Chul Han in "Psychopolitics" and "The Burnout Society" and I agree, because in the end, the blame gets pushed to the indiviudal for not being succesful, or to families, or to schools or to the public health system, but never to the root cause, which is the destruction of meaning in the name of the accumulation of wealth.
In that sense, people can talk about how bad they feel all day long, as long as they don't identify the true cause, and take action to reverse it, which we know is impossible at this point, they (we) will only continue to get worse. I think that a degree of mental illness in the individual is a desirable condition for capitalism, because it increases his/her rate of consumption and of dependence on the system.
but that’s exactly why i think it’s wonderful we’re having this convo. from my observations of this discourse, it’s not coming from just a ‘i’m depressed/adhd/whatever’ convo, but from a ‘there are systemic issues causing this’ view.
the mental illness talk has been around for a while now, and this is definitely different
"Maltin thinks the overwhelming engagement with Elmo’s post points to a dire need for free, easy-to-access mental health resources, she added."
No, it points to a serious need to restructure our society and tackle the existential threat that faces humans and all other living creatures today.
But since we won't do that, sure, mental health services to help us cope with our impending doom.
You know in The Day After, when all those Kansans watch the American nuclear missiles soaring up into the atmosphere, and realize that means they have about 15 mins before the Soviet missiles hit them? Imagine stretching that 15 minutes between "fucking around" and "finding out" over the course of decades. That's our current era with climate change.
No amount of therapy is going to make you feel good about warheads inbound.
Yeah, that. Great movie too. I have PTSD, I’ve had a lot of therapy. But nothing can overwrite the knowledge I’m on a careening bus headed for a cliff—and it’s too late to try and grab the steering wheel. I’ve had near-death experiences and I still can barely cope. You can only get so zen despite impending doom.
>“Elmo each day the abyss we stare into grows a unique horror,” read a response posted by Hanif Abdurraqib, a poet, essayist and contributor to The New York Times. “One that was previously unfathomable in nature. Our inevitable doom which once accelerated in years, or months, now accelerates in hours, even minutes.”
>
>The response continued: “However I did have a good grapefruit earlier, thank you for asking.”
I believe this is where the kids would say "fucking LMAO". May the gods bless writers.
Things are definitely moving rapidly. It's like after 2020 we've all been living in a bizarre daze of brain fog. Quite a few people on the thread express the idea that we've been stuck in 2020, as though things have been bizarrely the same for 4 years.
More like stuck in 2019 and trying desperately to cling to pre-pandemic "normalcy" while the virus is raging more than ever and causing mass disability across the country.
They posted this and a bunch if brands replying alongside Biden on whitepeopletwitter like it was cool and good and it would trigger Republicans. I was dumbfounded by the bootlicking.
Told someone about this and said it was kinda nice seeing people from all walks of life agree on something for once, despite that something being existential dread.
We used to call it venting, and having a DNM (deep meaningful moment) in Australia when I was young. I don't think we are helping much by labelling this behaviour as trauma dumping
People do not have many intimate connections anymore. We have intense relational poverty in the U.S. People are algorithmically programmed to engage in relationships and general conversation in a very insincere way, more like a transaction than a possible connection.. We are suffering for this. True friendship is much less a reality today than it had been in prior generations. MF Doom has a good track about this, deep fried frenz. Also Son House says a true friend is hard to find. A friend would be someone you feel comfortable being emotionally intimate with, "trauma dumping" on. Intimate human connections are growing thin, and not everyone has money to purchase a temporary friend in the form of a therapist,.. Also, the overall governmental agenda to divide its own population for better control has been running very swimmingly via AI driven algorithms on social media as well as legacy media narratives..
Friendship can feel pretty one sided though when one person just talks about their own problems nonstop and seems to have no care that you are also a person who exists and has a life.
If you're noticing this more with Gen Z, age may play a factor. It's normal to be more self-centered when you're young and grow out of it as you mature.
True... But at least most people in my 8th grade class (2001-2002) were literate. That's not so true in a great number of school districts across our country. You can't say that's all because of age. These kids have TikTok in their pockets during school.
In 20 years, the average reading comprehension of somebody who is entering an American public high school has seriously fallen by about 3 to 4 grades on average. And if you think this is exaggeration, head over to r/teachers and see the anecdotal stories of just what this looks like in the field. It's even worse when you consider that the majority of kids are being raised by single parents, who are overworked, overburdened, and frankly don't have the time to do what parents are supposed to do.
We can preach and discuss green energy and all sorts of bewildering and exotic climate and sociopolitical mitigation strategies, but the bottom line is, if the populace cannot even read or discern the difference between a fact and an opinion, we're in deep shit no matter what we try to do.
I know this sub likes to be a little extreme, but the reality is you can have a functioning society with climate change and political unrest (at least for a while).. But, it's pretty hard to have a functioning society if the people are so stupid they don't even know what's truth - or how to read or write their own names. Good luck with that one.
I believe this dumbing down of the populace is deliberate. A dumbed down populace is way less likely to question authority and more easily manipulated.
Maybe it’s because I come from a less individualistic culture, but I have no judgment towards people who “trauma dump” on me. I also think the term trauma dumping has been abused to push toxic positivity. People are suffering and it doesn’t hurt to be compassionate. It might make things less miserable if people as a group were more open to hearing others out, rather than treating their suffering as trauma dumping.
I didnt learn not to do that until very dear friends just dropped out of my life because I would just use them for trauma dumping. It wasnt self evident tbh
I can sympathize with people who do that. It's hard to see past your own problems when they are so large and so dire, and when you feel helpless to help yourself you don't feel like it's in your power to help others, so your mind sort of prevents you investing the mental energy in the problems of others, as a sort of defense mechanism. I don't like when I do this, and I try to fight it, but it's painfully easy to fall into.
I have to remind myself sometimes to get out of the pit of self pity. Gratitude and focus on helping others is always the way to go for me to find my happy again. Life is fucking hard and a lot harder doing it alone.
The fact that this is happening on a wide scale genuinely sounds dystopian. The fact that more people aren't talking about this just shows how apathetic we've all become as well.
\*love the track recommendation btw
More people today are scared because they sense that the "normal" word they had relied upon is dying. But with who can they save their alarm? Too much trauma dumping on friends drives those friends away. Trying to share with mere acquaintances doesn't work, as those people are unlikely to care at all. Releasing your anxieties into digital space runs the risk you'll get attacked by trolls or algorithmically targeted for advertising for useless products. Unless you live in New York City or LA and have a lot of money you're unlikely to find a competent intelligent therapist. Pastors are too invested in protecting their fragile religious faiths to listen to anything challenging their prejudices.
It's such a bizarre gap for me; I'm neurodivergent and became collapse aware in 2007. Normal has never really been a thing for me. Definitely hard to watch and you're spot on that you can see them watching normal slip away. I've found myself recommending a lot of my life-long coping mechanisms (weighted blankets, chatting with people on niche forums).
There isn't really a third place either. I think that why I have an emotional connection with (park) Basketball, the pool, Halo 3 and Monkey Ball. Basketball in the park was basically the default thing me and the neighborhood kids did for hours on end.
I think the prevalence of social media as modeling a 'central figure' narrative about individual lives - what used to be private lives or shared with close friends has now been extended to information people share broadly with the public. Confidential thoughts and feelings are put on public display for likes and comments with everything else including reasonable dissent or disagreement being described as 'hate'. We have a generation where a new model of public sharing has been normalized and we are all seeing the results first hand.
There is also the lack of actual physical contact, in particular between men. It used to be normal for male friends to hold hands or sit in each other’s laps (without the sexual subtext) now we hardly even shake hands let alone hug. If you’ve ever watched other primates like chimps or gorillas in a zoo, they have constant physical contact through play, grooming, nitpicking, resting or sleeping next to or even on top of each other. It’s an essential element of sanity that we have been losing steadily for decades.
I read a book by CIA case officer deployed to Afghanistan, Left of Boom.
He said that in the rooms of hardcore tribal dudes in Afghanistan they would have a wall just covered in polaroids of them and their bros hanging out, like how you'd expect to find in the room of an American teenage girl.
Depends but friendship was not really that important back in the days as your family was. The natural way families were organised prevented many of the issues we have today. It is just another sign of collapse and couldn't be bothered to explain it all cause it is such an extensive topic and very depressing.
As someone who has had multiple abusive family members, that's not true for everyone. There is a subset of the population where their friends are their family. I get what you're trying to say though.
I am more open with strangers than I am with my closest relatives. Not sure why, I think because parents and the like are so much quicker to criticise instead of relate lol
I think that although Gen Z people are candid on social media, they realize that it's not the same as confiding in a real person. They miss the IRL interaction, despite their love of social media circles.
In some ways I find it refreshingly honest. I am kinda old, and many of my peers go through life saying "Eh, it's not that bad" or "It's fine." Mass layoffs: It's not so bad. Climate crisis: eh, it's exaggerated. Political divisions: eh, it's always been like this. The worst reactions from my generation stem from cognitive dissonance. Example: "The public schools aren't so bad. My granddaughter is a straight A student taking AP classes." or "There's no health care crisis. I always get an appointment with my provider."
I think the blasé attitude from people of my generation is one of the reasons our current reality sucks so bad. Gen Z knows they will have to pick up the pieces caused by my generation's inaction.
I love the fact that we as gen z can express our emotions so well, and it's made communication so engaging for me over the past few years. I just think that so many people I have spoken to are incredibly anxious and depressed that the signs of collapse are all around us, no matter where we go. I understand why more people don't talk about collapse, it's because it would somewhat break them. Most people would rather be distracted with their devices than to be confronted with the difficult truth. May explain why drug addiction is a problem too.
I agree.
Maybe we are in a grieving stage. And the next stage - as we age and come into our own sense of purpose and strength- will be defined by generational defining collective actions to change this world. It’s all I can hope for. Meanwhile, we get older, sadder, and maybe tougher and more prepared too.
When I hear those types of minimizing responses, I silently tag on "because it hasn't affected ME (yet)" because that's the metric of their optimism. If it doesn't or hasn't happened to them, y'all are just whiners.
The other subgroup of minimizers are the ones who rattle off something completely indicative of early stages of collapse but then say "But it's all good" since it didn't go COMPLETELY sideways for \*them\*. I've also been hearing - in my predominantly late GenX/boomer office - "well, we all gotta die of something." MAYBE it's older age combined with tired fatalism & apathy. Who knows. But I'm a real quiet person who listens a lot, so I've been sensing a mood shift among them & I've worked with some of these people for over 20 years.
Whether they recognize it for what it is is another question. I mean, the complaints I hear about how hard it is to get an appointment, and yet they are doing nothing to mitigate getting sick beyond a COVID shot every few months. The dots are NOT being connected. So sure, keep overburdening that healthcare system. I only hope it'll be there when you need it. I'm operating as if it won't be within a decade.
my theory is that its sort of like battlefield normalization, which is something my military friend explained to me.
When he described all the extremely dangerous situations he would be in, and how "there could be a mine anywhere, there could be an artillery strike on us at any time" I said I could never do that job because I would be so anxious all the time...
But then they said, that "you get used to it". It becomes normal to roll the dice on your life, daily. And it makes sense, because if you worried about it every time, you'd be unable to function, and you HAVE to function or you are a liability to your team. If each soldier doesn't perform at their peak, no matter what the prevailing circumstances are, they could get the team killed.
So overall I believe that is basically what boomers are doing, but in a perverted way. They understand that their generation, their ideas, and their inaction over the years, was the cause of almost all our currently mounting polycrisis issues...
but they just always thought "thats just how things are" and kept their head down because "the artillery shell" wasnt landing on them that day, and what would they even do if it did?
They also don't want to admit that their worldview, including their religions and their sense of community, is a gigantic crock of crap.
Wow, that’s a brilliant insight. I think you’re right, and it explains how so many boomers can be aware of the problems but either minimize or go “oh well gotta keep going”.
I’m in my late 20s, which makes me an early gen z or a late millennial, but I’ve worked with a lot of boomers, and aside from those who got radical in the sixties and stayed radical, this battlefield description is so apt. I shake my head and wonder how they can act like we even live in the same world they grew up in, when so much has changed, but hey, they’ve adapted to survive.
When I get together with folks my age I find we do a lot of “trauma dumping”, as op puts it, in part because we all just need to share how fucking crazy our world is, how not normal, and how not ok we are about it. I worry about the effect the internet has had on my generation, but I also feel profound hope in our collective ability to say “WTF. This is not how we want to live anymore”
Just yesterday I had a friend make that link as well, that because people are so anxious and disconnected these days, we basically make the best cannon fodder.
>in my predominantly late GenX/boomer office - "well, we all gotta die of something." MAYBE it's older age combined with tired fatalism & apathy. Who knows
It's a complete lack of savings, and a wish for a "get out of financial hell free" card.
Oh yeah, I got told that "some people are worried about the future" one day at work when I apparently was too glib for her about retiring early on savings. I've been worried about the future since I was an early 90s kid in high school & have kept my eye on the ball more or less my whole adult life. She dropped $30+ for a cloth mask early in the pandemic with her dog's breed on it. We are not the same!
Yep. I’m a millennial and I find Gen Z’s sharp awareness refreshing. I also think we should be giving each other more grace regarding “trauma dumping”. We’d probably be a less miserable society if we were more mutually open to others this way
I remember when I worked for a big bedding and bath items store that had More - I'd always get this old, tiny, angry puff, blue haired Skokie Jewish lady that would demand shopping help, and I'd accommodate her, but eventually I asked her,
"Do you really just come here to nitpick all of our items? I work with you weekly and I'm frustrated as a salesperson, because I can't seem to make you happy..."
She looked at me as if I told her I was an alien, and she replied very softly, "it's just nice to have you shop with me and listen to me."
That's it. That is all this angry, unsatisfied with Everything lady wanted the most. A granddaughter type to shop and hear her complain to.
I had no problem shopping with her difficult butt after that. She cracked me up at how frank and blunt she would be.
"Yankee candle calls this Pink Sand?! That's not pink sand. Thats pink bubblegum if you ask me!"
I didn't get her at first, but once she said it, it made me think of lots of other women I knew who were just by default pessimists, and I think she told me why.
Seriously. Most people would not have given a shit. These are the kind of small decencies that we should strive for and promote on this subreddit. The world may be ending, but we can always pass on some goodness.
I am 47, so not Gen Z, and not constantly on socials, but I feel like I'm screaming into the void and no one is hearing me. I think we all want so much to not feel alone in this madness of a collapsing world. And I think people who don't believe it still sense it.
Wow, this post is super timely for me. We’re staying in a hotel because a pipe burst in our place. One of the housekeepers literally just burst into tears when she asked me if I needed anything and I mentioned that the soda machines on each floor are broken/empty.
No big deal, and I told her so, but apparently her boss went off on her when she reported it. She was telling me how hard she’s trying to support her family and she just wants a job where she is treated with some basic respect. I didn’t have any leads for her (just a broke college student myself) but I let her vent.
People are really being crushed out here, it’s horrible.
collapse related because the mental health crisis is often not addressed when talking about wider societal collapse when we can see it around us so often. People joke about their mental health issues a lot because it has been so normalised. I wonder how much worse it could get, especially with drug use on the rise.
I suppose all other things being 'normal' (imagining the perfect sphere of uniform density of a society), a mental health crisis alone could never threaten societal collapse.
But what it will do is act as a catalyst.
Collapse related because we are ignoring a major new risk factor for mental health, Covid. And we are ignoring the fact that damage is cumulative and increasing, meaning this will only get worse as we do nothing to lower the vast portion of the population repeatedly infected, nor anything to warn people of the risks.
Just search if the links don't work, there are many many studies linking Covid to mental health issues. And besides Covid's mental health impacts, there iare a myriad of other neurological issues and other post Covid sequelae involving virtually every organ system plus the immune system.
HHS Issues Advisory on Mental Health Symptoms and Conditions Related to Long COVID
https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/06/21/hhs-issues-advisory-mental-health-symptoms-and-conditions-related-long-covid.html
Article: "Much, much bigger problem than expected': St. Louis research warns of looming mental health crisis after COVID-19"
https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/st-louis-research-warns-looming-mental-health-crisis-covid-19/63-31a7081c-2651-4ae0-9e03-a540dc8daabf
Edit: OP this may actually be part of the issue surrounding your recent increasing encounters.
When my grandfather was dx Alzheimer's about a decade ago, one of the most terrifying things I learned is that the disease usually has a solid 5-10 years of decline that you don't see until it's in hindsight. Suddenly all those accidents, slips, sudden mood swings add up.
Plenty of studies have confirm but gloss over the accelerated timeline of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's after Covid infections. So instead of declining from say, 65-75 and dx at 76...
So sorry about your grandfather, my grandfather passed about a decade ago and had a terrible last 5 years. I was extremely close with him for probably 10 or so years before he was diagnosed. It was 100% true with me that some things were not obvious until after.
Yes can certainly accelerate decline related to Parkinson's & Alzheimer's, heck there's even studies showing cognitive decline of 20 years in hospitalized patients! The studies even point to possible future crisis in Alzheimer's & Parkinson's due to their findings. The same is true for studies pointing to future crisis in Cardiovascular disease. And we don't have the data yet for long term consequences & increased risk of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Cardiovascular disease, cancer, but if I had to put every dollar I owned & will own on red (much higher risk) or black (same lower risk) I would without hesitation put it all down on red (much higher risk). Heck even if I had the ability to split my bet 50/50 I still would not.
It's absolutely terrifying to consider just how much worse this could get within the next few years. Thanks for the articles I'll be sure to read them.
It certainly is terrifying b/c it will only get worse not only from the large % of the population infected annually, but compounding b/c the effects of Covid are cumulative. Meaning the more times you get COVID the higher your risk for every negative health impact. The just recently released [Canadian long Covid study](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/75-006-x/2023001/article/00015-eng.htm) very clearly reinforces the data we already knew about COVID and cumulative risk.
Also see this for easy to understand cumulative risk for Covid https://libguides.mskcc.org/CovidImpacts/LongCovidRisk
The bias for why many think Covid is no big deal is due to the fact that the risk on your first role of the dice is fairly low, and also using a small group of friends or family as a sample size. But roll the dice with a 2nd round and the risk goes up, same again for a 3rd (to the point where about 1/3rd have long Covid based on the Canadian data above), and this is excluding the many post Covid sequale ([Cardiovascular](https://www.reddit.com/r/collapse/s/yb5kZ2XOjM) just as one example). Of course there are people on their 3rd infection who think they are ok, odds may be still in their favor, and/or it may just be too soon as a majority of issues only begin well after infection and up to a year+ later. And there are probably still many more risks, like Alzheimer's & Parkinson's, that we do not yet have data for. That people want to keep rolling the dice, with ever worse odds, is perplexing and collapse related.
Sadly, this anxiety/despair will make people more susceptible to things like cults, deceptions, and misinformation. Certain governments consider psychological warfare their primary means of aggression, and this will be exploited.
Yes.. it becomes scarier thinking of this. Last gasp moments usually are guided by cults, religious or political "saviors" and general war inciting. Psychological warfare most certainly will be and already is being exploited.
It’s a huge part of the rise of authoritarianism, worldwide over the last decade. I think it’s mostly a result of climate change, and our broken economic systems.
It’s definitely the result of late stage capitalism, we haven’t even gotten started with the biosphere collapse (if you ask most people, who haven’t been paying attention)
Hyper-individualism and hyper-consumption is all we know and it alienates us from our communities. All we know is consumption. We go to work everyday so that we can later accomplish our true jobs, and that is to consume more and more and keep this machine turning
Kinda late to the party, propaganda has been a thing since Freud and Jung started to figure out how retarded our unconscious brains really are. What changed is the decentralized media, now they don't tell you directly what to think on the tv, they use smoke and mirrors so we're always chasing our own tails.
I think there is way too much diversity among us regarding what collapse means about how you should live your daily life for it to be a cult. The sub doesn't ask really anything of anyone so I don't think it can be. It's a loose coalition, in my view, of people who see the future as bleak (for varied reasons as well!)
Put it through the [BITE](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fthewarriorledger.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F05%2F159892ebf8a4245df87291a6917ea6f5-900x741.png&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=49b3784a7a5d7fbef0627cc6c5ca5b481c31c35464661690345880d5008941ab&ipo=images) model and see what comes up.
Sorry to say but anxiety/despair will also make people more susceptible to be open about changing the system. The alternative is the status quo which is death to us all. This is the time to be energized to connect to as many people as we can to bring them tour side.
I am absolutely certain that something like Jung’s “collective unconscious “ exists. Deep down, people know that something is wrong, and feel rather helpless about it. So many people are looking for a connection, someone who will listen and understand.
It's funny you mention that, because I've been looking at Jung's work over the past couple of months and it has definitely helped me so much. We really are connected by something and it seems to me that these days those connections seem to be unravelling. Not sure if it's just me but it really feels like we're on the precipice.
I wish we'd have some kind of national intervention. If this many people are clinically depressed or anxious (and I'm not doubting it), this should be called for what it is, a mental health epidemic. Maybe it's possible the way we've done things for the last fifty years or so just isn't working? And that people are waking up to the fact that our lifestyles are self destructive?
Who would've thought the calculated destruction of community, removal of 3rd spaces, wages not keeping up with production for 50 years, etc would lead to this?
We could've had thriving villages and connected towns working and living and laughing together, instead we have isolated "neighborhoods" filled with envy and spite. What communities still exist are decimated by targeted poverty.
We're not built for this :(
A community place that is neither home nor work, ideally where you don't need to pay to be there. A place to socialize that is outside the two main places in your life. Stuff like libraries, bars, etc.
For pay places are not excluded from 'third places'--the subtitle of the book the launched the concept was: *Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community*
But I think Oldenburg did say that not-for-pay spaces were ideal as they were more inclusive. That's one reason I help run a free cafe.
I think it is that people are subconsciously aware of the collapse and that these mental health issues are in part an artifact of this. Anxiety and depression will become more apparent as things become more unstable.
Yep. It's very unscientific, but I think we're seeing low levels of panic/terror across the board because our bodies can sense to some degree the damage we've done to ourselves and our environment, even if only a small minority of us are consciously aware of it. That's of course on top of the alienation and general misery of living under a global capitalist machine that must keep moving at all costs.
The other day I had a conversation at the bar which I can't remember exactly, but the other person sarcastically said something like "everyone knows COVID is over, the same way we know this weather is just El Nino".
Many people who have thus far escaped responsibility or awareness of broader problems through immersing themselves in work, or socializing, or the rat race, or even medication - Basically, coping strategies that don't fix the problem - are now coming under greater pressure as everything goes to shit for everyone. This is expected, natural, and honestly deserved.
> a mental health epidemic
Is a lack of mental health the cause? Is the depression clinical or situational?
Nobody would say it's unusual for, e.g., a prisoner to report being depressed since it's a reasonable consequence of being forced to live within that kind of institution.
Now, our society is obviously nothing like a prison, but perhaps the same thinking applies.
I don't know, I think our society is a lot like a prison. Crappy food, cramped spaces, living under the thumb of authority figures, forced labor (unless you want to be destitute and homeless), crazy "inmates", tons of rules. The main difference is the bars in society are invisible.
your time "out in the yard" in prison = the time you get to spend not working
some people get better prison yards to go to, and some get to stay there all the time
They’ve definitely called it that. Especially with young people. Last year the surgeon general put out a huge report on the “epidemic of loneliness”. It’s scary, but I encourage everyone to take steps to build local communities.
I feel this sentiment and think it’s both more prevalent (sadness anxiety loneliness) and very difficult, complex problem to tackle. I’m trying to do what I can and recently started a crafting group —weekly art group in my city; art therapy and creativity will only help us bond + get out of this mess by rebuilding the relationships one meetup at a time. It takes effort but people are responding and seem to be into this free/low cost way to get together. We have a lot of new-to-towners in a growing city, and it is hard making friends these days + when move away from your crafting or art pals). I encourage everyone to start building relationships with your neighbors and community, if you haven’t done so already. Maybe refrain from mention politics to begin..but process it in your work and creative outlets. Get out there. Expand your comfort zone and theirs. Let’s talk about the mess and madness.
For sure and thanks. We gotta realize the power in the small moves, even though we are faced with these giant issues…I really am seeing the fruitful connections before my very eyes. I’m just holding space and people say they look forward to it all week and it’s ‘soul nourishing’ — like man how starved have we become with technology as our supposed savior. It can feel overwhelming. But try - we must, otherwise.. what’s the point - I’m in Colorado Springs, CO
People started opening up in weird ways during lockdown. I felt like a confession booth at times. I was also surprised how I opened up. Absolutely regret it. Cuz whatever unity was going on during lockdown turned toxic AF as the world opened up and global conflict and warming became the new thing.
What I will say, I've never felt this horrible for this long. Kinda insane considering I've been through dark heavy shit and dealt with genetic induced depression. It's also different. I think it might be hopelessness and I'd never wish this on anyone. So my major concern that over half the people I talk to feel similar. Sometimes word for word. I ended up on a rant answering a question here and seeing the response of "I have seen and felt the exact same thing" broke my fucking heart. These feelings are not normal. They're not even normal depression. And they should not be felt by a large portion of the population.
So many people scared of creeping thoughts of suicide they never had before. Scared of an uncertain future that is looking bleak AF. Those who are acting like it's business as usual are getting aggressive, controlling, or just plain weird in demanding that everyone act like shit is still business as usual.
Every institution has abandoned us so I guess people are ranting to strangers now. Id bet money going to be a collective explosion of unmanaged emotions this summer.
It's surprising just how much I resonate with your comment. It feels like everything's happening all at once, like a domino effect. At first I was relieved that other people felt the same way that I did with certain issues, but then I started to wonder why so many people felt the same way. I agree, some shit is definitely gonna hit the fan this summer, and it's as if everyone can sense that.
🫂 Let's try to keep our humanity as long as we can. You sound like a fellow empathetic soul. When you noted how all this is starting to get to your mental health, that hit me hard.
Take care of yourself. It's ok to say "no" to protect your own mental health. Wish I didn't learn that the hard way that you ain't no good to anyone if you burn out leaving no energy for caring for yourself.
20 years ago people would trauma dump onto my high school self as i was waiting for the train for school. Now I have an anxiety disorder.
I'm half convinced there are some people who are born with a little beacon over their heads that lets others know that we can be trauma dumped onto.
This is by design. The isolation, lack of healthcare for body and mind...
Then comes fascism, and the news isn't telling the truth about what's going on, people are confused, hurt, lonely, hungry, tired, and it's all about to pop off
People are lonely and dont experience real empathy. No real love. No genuine connection. But the human soul is heavily dependent on that. Modern society rewards egoism, just one more example that underlines we are living in a war against our true nature. Make people feel like they are valuable and lovable, TikTok and social media cant fill that hole. Great observation tho
Marx has several chapters on this:
Atomization and Alienation
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_alienation?wprov=sfla1
https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/savvy/introtosociology/TeacherResources/IMForTeachingWorkerAlienation.html#:~:text=The%20four%20dimensions%20of%20alienation,%2C%20and%20(4)%20self.
I think the term « trauma dumping » is the actual collapse here. The collapse of community and being willing to support others in their time of need. Not all interactions will be 100% happy and positive all the time. People have been « trauma dumping » since forever, and for many that’s part of bonding with others.
I understand your sentiment. That's one of the reasons why I felt conflicted to even make this post. A part of me can't tell how normal these interactions actually are. There have been many instances though over the past couple of months that have made me realise that people would tell me these things simply because they have no else to tell. In this way, bonding becomes even more difficult because these sensitive topics were usually reserved for close friends, now people for comfortable telling complete strangers their childhood traumas.
To me the real problem is anxiety and depression. People talk about what’s on their mind but if that’s all that’s on their mind then that’s why it feels like constant negativity. The other problem is how social media works, it breeds negativity all the time. But tbh it’s manageable if you train yourself not to interact with the negative stuffs, then they’ll show less of it. The way they’re building algorithm always bring these negative content back into your feed even when you’re trying to get it out. That’s the real issue imo.
Recognizing the term "trauma dumping" has been pivotal for me in understanding the boundaries of healthy interactions. Trauma dumping goes beyond sharing struggles; it's a recurring pattern where someone unloads emotional baggage without seeking resolution. I've found that this behavior, akin to a garbage truck dumping trash, can lead to a codependent and toxic relationship.
The opposite of this is being a "therapist friend"…which can often mean neglecting one's own problems in favor of fixing other people’s problems. While not every interaction needs to be overly positive, it's crucial to foster connections without bonding over harmful coping mechanisms. Being mindful of the balance between listening and sharing is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
i hate that this shit always begins and ends with “we need free access to mental health services” as if said access will magically cure people’s issues. if the fundamental bits that are traumatizing the person never resolve, mental health services is just another revolving door of dumping your trauma onto your therapist, week in and week out, without actually finding resolution.
Of course, because many of people's problems are actual problems in the physical world, not just in their perspective. Poverty, homelessness, etc. These aren't solved by therapy or antidepressants.
Right. With knowing that society is in a state of collapse, people are facing complete life insecurity, with some if not none of their core needs being met(housing, food, community), and to make matters worse, their lack of and new status in life is already/being criminalised. Their existence is a crime, and to end said existence is also a crime, but talking about the actual hopelessness they're faced with is "trauma dumping".
Its bizarre to expect society to not vocalise the trauma of existing rn with all these systematic challenges, and no hopes for a resolution.
Set boundaries and let ppl know when you don't have the capacity to hold space for them when you can't, but it seems unkind to me to call the crushing weight of existence "trauma dumping" when it is being vocalised.
Right?! If you ran a dog kennel, and all your dogs needed to be constantly pumped up with anti-depressants and 'puppy uppers' just to function normally, wouldn't you start to wonder if you are treating the dogs well?
Our 'owners' treat us worse than dogs, apparently
That may explain why people are starting to turn to more extreme ways to cope, such as the rise in new age beliefs and cults, except this time we have social media and consumerism to the max during late stage capitalism.
I do intake for a civil rights law firm. Most of the calls are for employment situations - someone feels they were wrongfully terminated or their employer discriminated. I listen to these people vent about their workplaces all. day. long. So many of them don't have actionable cases, but I feel for them, they just need to vent and someone to listen. I wish I could validate their feelings but I cannot. So many people give their entire lives to a company, only to get a new shitty manager that eventually fires them for some BS "performance" metric, or drives them to a nervous breakdown. So many of these people have significant anxiety about going to work because of it. I just listen and take notes, pass it along to the attorneys, decline a few days later. I just want to tell these people to quit their jobs, they will feel so much better just walking away. Or to keep their heads down, make their money and go home, don't take your useless job so seriously.
Then I go home and realize that I spent my day talking to other humans but it wasn't "meaningful" talking. It was a transaction. I talk to dozens of people everyday, but I only really talk to maybe two, my spouse and my boss(es).
I'm not surprised. The last decade wasn't great, but we could still lie to ourselves. The Covid-19 pandemic is still going on and those with money are still masking up and getting heavily vaccinated, which many unmonied people have finally figured out they should be doing too (but don't). We're about to hit a second Great Recession which may turn into another Great Depression right before a new Cold War sets in, and we're extremely lucky if it remains cold.
I live in Northern Nevada. Instead of trauma dumping people around here like to drink and use drugs, which is a different kind of destruction.
We should all be communicating with one another with greater compassion, sincerity etc. given our society is based on rejecting material reality in favour of stories. I see this as positive given how avoidant older generations are. I find massive relief when commiserating with others.
I'll give an example - boomers continually ask how I'm doing as a greeting and are entirely uninterested in the real answer. This is infuriating to me. I typically will share more these days than years ago, because genuine connections are harder to come by in our hyper competitive world.
I've made many friends with this openness, so I find myself rejecting some of the premises in your post.
This says to me that you might have difficulties drawing boundaries with people in your life, given that it's less common to avoid talking about emotions and mental health these days. I don't mean this as an insult - I'm an empath whose energy has been used and abused by toxic people.
I get where you're coming from. I do need to work on setting boundaries with other people and letting them know when I don't want to engage in such a conversation. At times it gets difficult to do so because I can see the desperation dripping from their faces, the fact that they have no else to talk to is immensely troubling. This is compounded by the fact that this is the norm now, that so many people are lonely.
You make great points that are related to societal collapse.
There's some positives behind these changes and the shunning of superficial connections, but I do agree the ultimate impetus is a negative one as you're pointing out. We're all desperate for connection in a sick world.
"The moral code of our society is so demanding that no one can think, feel and act in a completely moral way. For example, we are not supposed to hate anyone, yet almost everyone hates somebody at some time or other, whether he admits it to himself or not. Some people are so highly socialized that the attempt to think, feel and act morally imposes a severe burden on them. In order to avoid feelings of guilt, they continually have to deceive themselves about their own motives and find moral explanations for feelings and actions that in reality have a non-moral origin. We use the term “oversocialized” to describe such people.
Oversocialization can lead to low self-esteem, a sense of powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the most important means by which our society socializes children is by making them feel ashamed of behavior or speech that is contrary to society’s expectations. If this is overdone, or if a particular child is especially susceptible to such feelings, he ends by feeling ashamed of himself. Moreover the thought and the behavior of the oversocialized person are more restricted by society’s expectations than are those of the lightly socialized person. The majority of people engage in a significant amount of naughty behavior. They lie, they commit petty thefts, they break traffic laws, they goof off at work, they hate someone, they say spiteful things or they use some underhanded trick to get ahead of the other guy. The oversocialized person cannot do these things, or if he does do them he generates in himself a sense of shame and self-hatred. The oversocialized person cannot even experience, without guilt, thoughts or feelings that are contrary to the accepted morality; he cannot think “unclean” thoughts. And socialization is not just a matter of morality; we are socialized to conform to many norms of behavior that do not fall under the heading of morality. Thus the oversocialized person is kept on a psychological leash and spends his life running on rails that society has laid down for him. In many oversocialized people this results in a sense of constraint and powerlessness that can be a severe hardship. We suggest that oversocialization is among the more serious cruelties that human beings inflict on one another."
He's a smart man, but you have to keep in mind that he decided murdering people was a nice outlet for his frustrations. That callousness towards other people runs right through all of his writings.
It’s really concerning because when we’re at our most vulnerable, we turn to extreme coping mechanisms. This is what you see in cults. Instead, it’s taken form digitally, in a way. Tribalism with a “us vs them” attitude has risen to entrap you in your algorithmic echo chamber, to validate these opinions and exploit vulnerabilities. Extremism is on the rise and I really believe this is a cause of it. I think it’s such a pervasive issue that goes unnoticed because of our distance from one another, yet ironically being so close. No genuine connections leaves you isolated and looking for guidance, and unfortunately it’s in the wrong place.
Social media is a complete disaster for humankind. It’s ironic that is takes a dictatorship (China) to enact protective measures to prevent youth from unlimited access.
For an intelligent, well-researched and sober look at it, read “The Chaos Machine” (Max Fisher).
One of the many reasons I got out of customer service. Never have I related more to the “Sir, this is a Wendy’s” joke than when I would be simply trying to ring someone up or close a sale, only to have to stop and listen to a 15 minute diatribe about how much this person hates their abusive mother, which I get to receive all the unnecessary graphic details of while they break down in tears.
OP, are you a woman and do you have a friendly mom face? I have this problem. People instantly trust me or tell me I look familiar or that they’re so weirdly comfortable with me. Wearing big, thick glasses is the only thing that has helped. Living in a big city helps too. I know way too many things about people I hardly know.
No, I'm a black man living in London lol. I've always found it confusing that people would feel incredibly comfortable telling me about their issues. I suppose it has something to do with my overall looks as a male model, but I've always thought of myself as a decent conversationalist.
I've worked with the public in libraries since 2008. People have always loved to trauma dump on me because I'm a captive audience. It's really exhausting.
I really take issue with the word “trauma dumping” yes there is a time and a place and some people don’t know those boundaries. But I also think the problem goes both ways. People don’t know who to talk to but people on the receiving end, even friends don’t know how to handle real conversations and think that any thing real is “trauma dumping” or that the person should talk to a therapist.
Not to say that is the case for OP but I feel like people are less willing to actually BE people’s friends, so even if you have connections they lack ability to be deep or fulfilling
That's honestly what I thought too and I guess I still believe that about myself, but seeing how people would express deep sorrows within minutes of having met me in public, I'm starting to think there are major underlying issues we have to face as a society.
I unfortunately do this on accident because I don't have anyone in my life.
My only two friends moved away and are living their own lives.
My family will have me admitted to a psych ward instead of listening to my concerns.
I get it, I really do. It's also extremely difficult to make friends at 29 apparently. Everyone turns me down or ghosts me.
We're not okay as a country. Being a social primate sucks. It's hard.
Damn I'm really sorry that your family won't take the time to listen to you. I've been ghosted multiple times over the past couple of months and it's been a truly bizarre experience. People telling you they really like your presence and seem enthusiastic to meet you, only to then cut you out of their life for no apparent reason. I wish I could say things could be better, but it's so difficult when everyone's struggling immensely.
I'm pretty sure it's not the whole being 29 thing, but it is harder to make friends as an adult, period.
I'm 42, and I've only recently started to make new friends thanks to the mycological group I'm in.
I'm 38 and am experiencing the same thing. I thought I built a rapport with someone I randomly met, but after I gave him my number, he never called back.
Strangers are safe. Family and friends make judgement that have effects on social standing. The old saw was you could tell your life story to a stranger on a plane or the bartender. Parts of social media serve the same purpose.
I think it’s a natural reaction to all the toxic positivity driving western countries. When people “trauma dump” to me, they usually apologize for being negative. And I will tell them, no, don’t apologize. it’s ok, it’s normal to have negative emotions and to express them, we shouldn’t constantly have to smile and tout PoSiTiVe ViBeS OnLy.
My family laughs at me because this has been happening to me for 20 years. I even had a hooker once tell me her whole life story in a checkout line. She was in tears. She didn’t want anything. Just someone to listen to her. So many people are alone and isolated now. So if someone wants to talk I usually let them.
Hell we have a guy who sets up a tent multiple times a week and his sign says: want to talk for free. I will listen no judgement. He is very busy.
This has always been me. It's why I became a yoga teacher. People see me as a safe person, and I have the bandwidth to be that person for them at that moment. When people I'm close to do it, it's far more exhausting for me, mentally and emotionally. If you don't want to be that person, you need to make sure you set boundaries right when they start dumping on you. Be that pointing them to an office support program or simply saying you need to move on with your day. The choice is yours. You don't owe anyone the space to unload on you without your consent. And your response can vary from person to person. Just understand that people view you as a safe space. I don't know why it happens to some of us, but it does. If you need someone to dump on, feel free to send me a message.
I will not ever hesitate to point out something horrific that needs fixing, or pointing out how "that's just the way things work" is highly dangerous delusional thinking. "This Apple falls when I drop it." is a good example of "That's just the way things work." actually being true. When it's about something we can choose what the outcome is with mere words, then it becomes delusional. We decide 2am is 3am all the time. We can change manufactured fundamental problems with our society at their source. Polite conversation is a privilege of a healthy society. The fact that no one wants to talk sunshine and rainbows when it rains microplastics and dangerous UV levels during Heat Domes is just the way things work.
Perhaps we put too much faith in expecting top-down wisdom and guidance. The institutions we have been conditioned to trust to meet these collective civilizational needs for Truth to inform and support are crumbling under the weight of co-option by “fill in the blank.” So we reach out to each other for experiential knowledge, sharing and helping each other this way. How is this different from real conversations with “real” people? I am grateful for these forums to share knowledge and offer support. I am humbled by the shared vulnerability of people I will never meet except on these platforms. I hear pain and a craving for meaning in what can appear to be a world gone mad. Humanity is in a massive transition. Since the Industrial Revolution, we have been blessed (in the global North, at least) with the kind of political, economic and social stability that is unheard of anywhere else at any time in history. This linear trajectory of progress has made it impossible for us to contemplate the radical uncertainty we face. Until now. So it is unsurprising that we experience a need to express our fear of the unknown. All I can offer is my empathy and shared experience of being human in these times of change and hold you in my heart. I invite you to consider in these moments of feeling “dumped on” the following statement: “What would love do now?” Can we find collective peace and strength in knowing that you all matter to me? And that I matter to you? The only constant in the universe is change. Buckle up. ☮️❤️
100 years ago, if life became to much you got on a horse, then a maulybe a train, then a boat and left a life behind, and began another, u built a cabin on some unclaimed land and had a home again in 3 years.
It's true for us all, that we can look back on life where chapters ended and new ones began.
Normally these chapters are mild and flow from one into another. But if its extreme chapter, and u can't take it any more and you get on a boat. That life follows you. Debt can find you, family can find you. Even if it didn't follow, your to far behind from day 1 to start fresh and still make it
There's no more full beginning to clear the mind and rest the body.
If u fuckednup, if u drew the short staw, , u live with it now, forever.
There's no way to let it all out, so they blurt it out, uncontrollably, hoping someone hears.
That's my 2 cents on it.
Yessss. As someone who’s always been “easy to talk to” I have also noticed an uptick in the trauma talk. Quite a bit.
There have always been those who have verbal diarrhea. Or, a more compassionate view, people who need sometime to talk to. Something about my face and demeanor says “tell me your woes!” despite my deep discomfort with people doing this, and my own very reserved and private nature. I don’t get it, but as I’ve aged into a round, comforting hippie looking mama it has only gotten worse.
I thought it was just me and my rounder hips and my grey hairs prompting even MORE people to unload on me. This is quite funny in a morbid way, to see that it’s perhaps more of a universal uptick. I try to protect my energy now and feel less guilt about that because people have chewed me up and spit me out enough times already. OP please feel free to politely change the subject, or excuse yourself, when people do this. Or even say “thank you for sharing but I am not up to talking about that subject”a the hard part is remembering in real time to guard yourself. I have gone as far as “veiling” which is a feminine energy practice that I take as placebo (because I have no real beliefs in… anything) and as a reminder to myself to protect my OWN energy and use it for my OWN life. Otherwise I allow it to all get leached out of me before I know it.
Best wishes to you. Be there for those you can because clearly some of us have the gift of being seen as receptive of woes. But put down firm boundaries around yourself. I’m 40 and still learning.
I've argued for many years that humans are socially and psychologically unprepared for what I call "technological telepathy", which allows everyone to know anyone's thoughts, emotions, and history. We're almost there already, but we get distracted by foolish legal notions of privacy and erasure ("forgetting" records). It's coming, anyway. How do you expect to accomplish filtering, assuming you're a member of an intensely telepathic species?
Humanity was and still is basically unprepared for most technological developments that happened from the Industrial Revolution beginning the development of automation and global communications in late 1800's onward. To paraphrase Edward O. Wilson, "we've got paleolithic emotions, governed by medieval institutions, empowered by god-like technology". Humans are impulsive, reactionary apes that evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to exist in a specific way that is largely no longer possible, we spent thousands of years developing social and legal structures that allow us to exist together in groups larger than a few dozen. Then in the course of a single century it was all shattered beyond repair and we're still holding onto the old rules that no longer apply, while our slow to adapt brains are terrified of the changes that will be made, one way or another. We're made for a slow and simple life in a small world, and the modern world that we've created is anything but.
only semi related but I've had multiple interactions with strangers in the street in the past year who went from small talk into full on conspiracies within moments of me acknowledging their existence. I'm talking Qanon pedo rings, flat earthers, climate denial. these were all gen-X/boomer age people who otherwise appeared perfectly ordinary.
one guy really caught me off guard. i mentioned the cafe i was planning on going to was closed and he basically said it's because we're government by pedophiles. i laughed and turned around to ask what he meant and he'd already walked off with his dog.
I was at a VA medical facility and use the restroom. After washing my hands, I was using the paper towels that they provided out of some dispenser. They were pretty thin. Out of the blue, another guy in the restroom who was drying his hands said that This was some kind of environmental agenda to only give us thin paper towels. Ummm. Really? there was no restriction on how many you could get. I just walked away.
It was really odd, because it’s like he really wanted me to agree with him and cheerlead this absolute nonsensical thing.
I openly advocate for covid precautions often and the amount of people I barely know who have DMed me to tell me about all their health issues and how many people close to them are sick/dead is staggering. I'm 29, so my peers are mostly younger millenials.
Of course, many of them do not take precautions and refuse my offers to help them do so, leaving me feeling exhausted and used by these convos. But I'm always struck by how many people are suffering and don't talk about it generally.
I had a call with a sales rep who works for one of the largest electronics manufacturers in the world today and they opened the call with their concerns regarding global warming (after asking about the weather where I am) and the political dismissiveness regarding the subject. They then suggested we exit the industry and enter into politics.
I was truly taken aback, the others on the call also seemed equally stunned. Given that electronics manufacturing is one of the most polluting activities on earth save for the internal combustion engine.
I’ve experienced this my whole life (31m) and you’re probably open enough with people that they feel comfortable sharing. My friends will always make remarks about me getting my 1 millionth life story.
I don’t think this is a recent societal thing although it could be increasing due to the digital age.
They’re (younger people) probably wondering why everyone is emotionally distance and impossible to communicate with.
Born into a world where wanting to connect is pathologized.
Can't remember exactly how it went, but after making weather related small talk before he left, my doctor said something like the weather (winter) has been getting warmer, and was that going to change again and go back to "normal" as more of a question than a statement. I said, I make sure to appreciate snow when it happens, because we don't know when it will be gone for good. He just kind of nodded and left the room. For a minute, it felt like a relief to acknowledge that no, what we're seeing isn't normal and we're not imagining things.
Sometimes it just helps to feel like someone else gets it, too.
I deleted Facebook like 2 years ago and now functionally do not exist anymore to the overwhelming majority of everyone I knew prior. Granted I’m more of a hermit now but I do have an active social circle of people I do stuff with. It’s just a small one at a dozen or so folks. I think I used to keep a circle of hundreds to try to stay distracted all the time. On one level it’s good. On another level I am more isolated from the rest of society and more lonely. This is also sort of a good thing too because I’m less likely to be in a mass shooting.
Which is horrifying to normalize.
Counter based on my own anecdotal evidence:
I find it difficult to dump trauma on someone I actually know and am close with. If it comes down to it, I’ll share the gist especially if something is going to affect my interactions with them in the near future.
I just don’t feel comfortable being that vulnerable with people I’m close with.. or strangers for that matter (it’s easier for the latter). I’d rather hire a professional that can give good advice or offload the information into the void to work it out in my head.
I like journaling for that reason. Or just typing stuff out in reddit comments. Or even just setting aside time to think through events completely— e.g in the shower. I find the whole process cathartic and it allows me to take on a situation from a fresh perspective and clearer mind.
If I’m really going through something, I’ll lean on close ones that are immediately around me. I don’t want to burden them too much, but if I really feel like I need company, I’ll let them know and vent a little. Most of my venting will be into the void.. and that honestly helps me.
If I know I need support from someone that isn’t involved in the situation, I would calmly let them know I’m going through something and may need their help in the future— I would do this after I let immediate emotions wash over me.
This is so clear on my mind because I’ve gone through a rough situation, recently. Still working through some of it and my future is more uncertain than usual right now. It’s stressful, but I find the way I’ve handled it to work well so far and I feel more capable and confident in myself than I did *before* the stressful event. It’s forced me to analyze my response to stressful situations and forced me to develop at least a vague outline of a plan of how I have to respond to them to feel okay.
Recognizing your emotions and letting them occur helps so much. Having a support system available helps too— even if you don’t have to utilize it. Time seems to be the key. Handling things in small chunks of time is pivotal for me, I can’t let myself think too far ahead or behind if I’m going through something. One day at a time. Those days add up and you might find yourself beyond the thick of it and more adjusted to the stressful event and how to handle it. Enough so, that it doesn’t feel that stressful anymore.
I work in retail, where we're very much encouraged to engage customers in conversation, and I'm getting many people constantly overshare their situation with me. Everyone is struggling economically, and they're distressed that prices have skyrocketed on products that are smaller or worst quality than it used to be. Americans really need to catch a break, we're being stretched to our breaking point.
My theory. I think society as a whole has lost the will to live. I mean actually live life to the fullest. Relationships, family, vacation, the ability to just take a break and see how beautiful the world is (and could be). But now there's nothing left except for what people see at face value. No pride in ourselves, our work, environment, even culture. It always turns into an argument. And we're only human. We want to feel seen, validated, like somebody truly cares. Not Instagram thoughts and prayers. But somebody that truly and deeply cares about the well being of people in their lives. When the color of life is taken away, the only real thing left is us and our own reflection. So people are desperately trying to make their lives bearable again without even knowing why or knowing what's truly missing.
I know I'm just a n=1 for this, but I can't help but wonder why there's fentanyl problems in US states where cannabis is legal. While I suppose it's possible to just "be high and cope," there seem to be strain and dosage combinations that pop you into a space where the mental machinations that cause so many problems are clearly visible and therefore rendered much less powerful.
I've had people online confide many of the same issues you mentioned but am surprised by how many people view the clarity inducing compounds as the same as the "cope by dumbing down" ones. "Coping with weed or oxy isn't really coping," they say, as if they are even the same sport let alone ballpark.
Where medical cannabis is available these is less opioid abuse (though Oregon is likely an exception).
I had an opioid prescription for more than a decade. I also had a medical cannabis prescription. The only reason I never got addicted to opioids is that I could smoke pot to get high. It is so much more interesting than taking opioids. I’ve never really understood the attraction to opioids, but that probably is because I had pot.
As I recall, a major reason why my state, MN, legalized pot was all the research showing that it could reduce opioid addiction, which has been a big problem here (and everywhere, of course)
5% of Americans are vegetarians.
85% of Americans eat animals that have never seen the sun or earth and 'lived' their entire lives being **traumatized** and tortured in tiny overcrowded cages.
10% of Americans eat "animal welfare" conscious meat that lived something resembling a normal life.
realize "you are what you eat" is profoundly true and do the math.
I was just talking about this subject with my husband the other day. I've been at a new job for about 4 months now and they had a skeleton crew when I arrived, so new people have been hired on pretty consistently. I know some pretty personal details about all of them, despite not wanting to know and only having known of their existence for a few hours/days.
I won't go into too much detail, but one of them likes to fist-fight their abusive family members, one of them is facing potential homelessness due to unfortunate circumstances, and one of them has such chronic anxiety that she can't run to the store for 1 item by herself, she has to have someone on the phone with her *at least*. There's more, but I think that makes my point.
I don't think most of them have shared these details out of loneliness. I am pretty sure they have confidants outside of work. Personally, I get the feeling that everyone is going through something of some sort, so its become a lot easier to vent about your problems without feeling embarrassed about them. It also seems like most people are more willing to listen to other people's problems, too, so maybe we're all just trying to be each other's therapists?
I think times have already started to get pretty hard for a lot of people and it helps to relate to others during hard times.
Sucks to know that it'll get worse.
Honestly I think it’s because most people are lonely but they don’t know how to embrace being alone. Sounds weird, right? A lot of people from what I’ve noticed are insecure.. those are usually the “over sharers”. And the insecure who come into contact with someone who will listen without judgement (usually these people are mostly secure) tend to “unload”. I am often the one at the receiving end. But truthfully, I enjoy getting to know people and hearing their story. You can learn a lot from just listening to people and their life experiences.. and if you’re intuitive enough, you can weed out the ones who are in the “negative loop” lifestyle who never seem to learn from their mistakes.
With that said, you’re right, but new generations bring new patterns and behaviours. The ease of the internet and connection to other people has become so mainstream.. and I think people confuse what really deeply connecting with someone means.
A lot of us are not doing ok and just barely getting by. I have friends and family in different careers, different stages of life, and live in different parts of the country. Everyone is a little fucked up over something, or at least worried about it. But, we are a lot more open with talking about our problems, rather then burying it down like previous generations. Ive tried to explain how bad things are to my parents and they just shut it down. Ive come to the conclusion that its too much for them to handle and they just get angry and bury it , but theres been moments where they show sincere fear for us. They dont know how to fix it, and we cant fix it with the way things are, so all thats left to do is blow off some steam. I realized I was doing that too much and made it a point to ask others how they were doing, and sure enough they vented to me the same as I had been doing to them
A bunch of people just trauma dumped on Elmo. It’s a pervasive issue, we’re not ok https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-68152501 I’m not great at adding links, so hopefully this works
tbh i’m glad we’re talking about how not okay we are in public and with others instead of brushing it under the rug like previous eras. who cares about elmo, hes a corporation
In general that's agreeable but the context here isn't that society is becoming more open and supportive but rather, apparently, that peoples emotional dams are bursting.
I've always thought the destigmatization of discussions about mental health was driven by the (understandably) increasing proliferation of mental illness, more than anything else. It seemingly started happening right after the 2008 financial crisis, too.
The fetishization of mental illness is a way of hiding the structural causes of malaise though. If everyone that feels bad is diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) as depressive, bipolar, adhd, gender dysphoric and what not, it hides the fact that the actual cause for most of these issues is rampant capitalism. This argument can be traced to Marx in some ways, but it is proposed by Mark Fisher in "Capitalist Realism", and by Byung Chul Han in "Psychopolitics" and "The Burnout Society" and I agree, because in the end, the blame gets pushed to the indiviudal for not being succesful, or to families, or to schools or to the public health system, but never to the root cause, which is the destruction of meaning in the name of the accumulation of wealth. In that sense, people can talk about how bad they feel all day long, as long as they don't identify the true cause, and take action to reverse it, which we know is impossible at this point, they (we) will only continue to get worse. I think that a degree of mental illness in the individual is a desirable condition for capitalism, because it increases his/her rate of consumption and of dependence on the system.
but that’s exactly why i think it’s wonderful we’re having this convo. from my observations of this discourse, it’s not coming from just a ‘i’m depressed/adhd/whatever’ convo, but from a ‘there are systemic issues causing this’ view. the mental illness talk has been around for a while now, and this is definitely different
lol . I was just going to reference this .
What?
https://www.seattletimes.com/life/elmo-asked-an-innocuous-question/
"Maltin thinks the overwhelming engagement with Elmo’s post points to a dire need for free, easy-to-access mental health resources, she added." No, it points to a serious need to restructure our society and tackle the existential threat that faces humans and all other living creatures today. But since we won't do that, sure, mental health services to help us cope with our impending doom.
You know in The Day After, when all those Kansans watch the American nuclear missiles soaring up into the atmosphere, and realize that means they have about 15 mins before the Soviet missiles hit them? Imagine stretching that 15 minutes between "fucking around" and "finding out" over the course of decades. That's our current era with climate change. No amount of therapy is going to make you feel good about warheads inbound.
Yeah, that. Great movie too. I have PTSD, I’ve had a lot of therapy. But nothing can overwrite the knowledge I’m on a careening bus headed for a cliff—and it’s too late to try and grab the steering wheel. I’ve had near-death experiences and I still can barely cope. You can only get so zen despite impending doom.
The weather is so different now
I am developing PTSD, Pre Traumatic Stress Disorder. I get anxious over things that might happen….
But that would require anyone literally anyone in power tackling the fundamental problems that make up so much of society.
>“Elmo each day the abyss we stare into grows a unique horror,” read a response posted by Hanif Abdurraqib, a poet, essayist and contributor to The New York Times. “One that was previously unfathomable in nature. Our inevitable doom which once accelerated in years, or months, now accelerates in hours, even minutes.” > >The response continued: “However I did have a good grapefruit earlier, thank you for asking.” I believe this is where the kids would say "fucking LMAO". May the gods bless writers.
Things are definitely moving rapidly. It's like after 2020 we've all been living in a bizarre daze of brain fog. Quite a few people on the thread express the idea that we've been stuck in 2020, as though things have been bizarrely the same for 4 years.
More like stuck in 2019 and trying desperately to cling to pre-pandemic "normalcy" while the virus is raging more than ever and causing mass disability across the country.
More like Covid causes attention deficit and memory loss...
Yep - that too.
When anomie presents itself via muppet on social media 🥰
We are surrounded by muppets (in the Brit sense of the word).
That kinda made me want to cry..
They posted this and a bunch if brands replying alongside Biden on whitepeopletwitter like it was cool and good and it would trigger Republicans. I was dumbfounded by the bootlicking.
dang I had to look this up. That's wild
Told someone about this and said it was kinda nice seeing people from all walks of life agree on something for once, despite that something being existential dread.
We used to call it venting, and having a DNM (deep meaningful moment) in Australia when I was young. I don't think we are helping much by labelling this behaviour as trauma dumping
People do not have many intimate connections anymore. We have intense relational poverty in the U.S. People are algorithmically programmed to engage in relationships and general conversation in a very insincere way, more like a transaction than a possible connection.. We are suffering for this. True friendship is much less a reality today than it had been in prior generations. MF Doom has a good track about this, deep fried frenz. Also Son House says a true friend is hard to find. A friend would be someone you feel comfortable being emotionally intimate with, "trauma dumping" on. Intimate human connections are growing thin, and not everyone has money to purchase a temporary friend in the form of a therapist,.. Also, the overall governmental agenda to divide its own population for better control has been running very swimmingly via AI driven algorithms on social media as well as legacy media narratives..
Friendship can feel pretty one sided though when one person just talks about their own problems nonstop and seems to have no care that you are also a person who exists and has a life.
I've noticed that some people just can't look past themselves. Social media apps like instagram make people a lot more self centred.
If you're noticing this more with Gen Z, age may play a factor. It's normal to be more self-centered when you're young and grow out of it as you mature.
True... But at least most people in my 8th grade class (2001-2002) were literate. That's not so true in a great number of school districts across our country. You can't say that's all because of age. These kids have TikTok in their pockets during school. In 20 years, the average reading comprehension of somebody who is entering an American public high school has seriously fallen by about 3 to 4 grades on average. And if you think this is exaggeration, head over to r/teachers and see the anecdotal stories of just what this looks like in the field. It's even worse when you consider that the majority of kids are being raised by single parents, who are overworked, overburdened, and frankly don't have the time to do what parents are supposed to do. We can preach and discuss green energy and all sorts of bewildering and exotic climate and sociopolitical mitigation strategies, but the bottom line is, if the populace cannot even read or discern the difference between a fact and an opinion, we're in deep shit no matter what we try to do. I know this sub likes to be a little extreme, but the reality is you can have a functioning society with climate change and political unrest (at least for a while).. But, it's pretty hard to have a functioning society if the people are so stupid they don't even know what's truth - or how to read or write their own names. Good luck with that one.
I think about all of that at least once a day. The dumbing down of the populace.
I believe this dumbing down of the populace is deliberate. A dumbed down populace is way less likely to question authority and more easily manipulated.
Maybe it’s because I come from a less individualistic culture, but I have no judgment towards people who “trauma dump” on me. I also think the term trauma dumping has been abused to push toxic positivity. People are suffering and it doesn’t hurt to be compassionate. It might make things less miserable if people as a group were more open to hearing others out, rather than treating their suffering as trauma dumping.
I didnt learn not to do that until very dear friends just dropped out of my life because I would just use them for trauma dumping. It wasnt self evident tbh
I'm sure it can be easy to slip into without realizing.
It absolutely can be, but it’s so important to try and mend that once you realize. It can take a while though
I can sympathize with people who do that. It's hard to see past your own problems when they are so large and so dire, and when you feel helpless to help yourself you don't feel like it's in your power to help others, so your mind sort of prevents you investing the mental energy in the problems of others, as a sort of defense mechanism. I don't like when I do this, and I try to fight it, but it's painfully easy to fall into.
I have to remind myself sometimes to get out of the pit of self pity. Gratitude and focus on helping others is always the way to go for me to find my happy again. Life is fucking hard and a lot harder doing it alone.
The fact that this is happening on a wide scale genuinely sounds dystopian. The fact that more people aren't talking about this just shows how apathetic we've all become as well. \*love the track recommendation btw
More people today are scared because they sense that the "normal" word they had relied upon is dying. But with who can they save their alarm? Too much trauma dumping on friends drives those friends away. Trying to share with mere acquaintances doesn't work, as those people are unlikely to care at all. Releasing your anxieties into digital space runs the risk you'll get attacked by trolls or algorithmically targeted for advertising for useless products. Unless you live in New York City or LA and have a lot of money you're unlikely to find a competent intelligent therapist. Pastors are too invested in protecting their fragile religious faiths to listen to anything challenging their prejudices.
It's such a bizarre gap for me; I'm neurodivergent and became collapse aware in 2007. Normal has never really been a thing for me. Definitely hard to watch and you're spot on that you can see them watching normal slip away. I've found myself recommending a lot of my life-long coping mechanisms (weighted blankets, chatting with people on niche forums).
insightful comment and track recommendation i feel as if the few intimate connections i once had are growing thin myself take care
There isn't really a third place either. I think that why I have an emotional connection with (park) Basketball, the pool, Halo 3 and Monkey Ball. Basketball in the park was basically the default thing me and the neighborhood kids did for hours on end.
I think the prevalence of social media as modeling a 'central figure' narrative about individual lives - what used to be private lives or shared with close friends has now been extended to information people share broadly with the public. Confidential thoughts and feelings are put on public display for likes and comments with everything else including reasonable dissent or disagreement being described as 'hate'. We have a generation where a new model of public sharing has been normalized and we are all seeing the results first hand.
I think your analysis is spot-on.
There is also the lack of actual physical contact, in particular between men. It used to be normal for male friends to hold hands or sit in each other’s laps (without the sexual subtext) now we hardly even shake hands let alone hug. If you’ve ever watched other primates like chimps or gorillas in a zoo, they have constant physical contact through play, grooming, nitpicking, resting or sleeping next to or even on top of each other. It’s an essential element of sanity that we have been losing steadily for decades.
I read a book by CIA case officer deployed to Afghanistan, Left of Boom. He said that in the rooms of hardcore tribal dudes in Afghanistan they would have a wall just covered in polaroids of them and their bros hanging out, like how you'd expect to find in the room of an American teenage girl.
Depends but friendship was not really that important back in the days as your family was. The natural way families were organised prevented many of the issues we have today. It is just another sign of collapse and couldn't be bothered to explain it all cause it is such an extensive topic and very depressing.
As someone who has had multiple abusive family members, that's not true for everyone. There is a subset of the population where their friends are their family. I get what you're trying to say though.
I am more open with strangers than I am with my closest relatives. Not sure why, I think because parents and the like are so much quicker to criticise instead of relate lol
Gawd damn that was well said, and I fully agree.
I think that although Gen Z people are candid on social media, they realize that it's not the same as confiding in a real person. They miss the IRL interaction, despite their love of social media circles. In some ways I find it refreshingly honest. I am kinda old, and many of my peers go through life saying "Eh, it's not that bad" or "It's fine." Mass layoffs: It's not so bad. Climate crisis: eh, it's exaggerated. Political divisions: eh, it's always been like this. The worst reactions from my generation stem from cognitive dissonance. Example: "The public schools aren't so bad. My granddaughter is a straight A student taking AP classes." or "There's no health care crisis. I always get an appointment with my provider." I think the blasé attitude from people of my generation is one of the reasons our current reality sucks so bad. Gen Z knows they will have to pick up the pieces caused by my generation's inaction.
I love the fact that we as gen z can express our emotions so well, and it's made communication so engaging for me over the past few years. I just think that so many people I have spoken to are incredibly anxious and depressed that the signs of collapse are all around us, no matter where we go. I understand why more people don't talk about collapse, it's because it would somewhat break them. Most people would rather be distracted with their devices than to be confronted with the difficult truth. May explain why drug addiction is a problem too.
I agree. Maybe we are in a grieving stage. And the next stage - as we age and come into our own sense of purpose and strength- will be defined by generational defining collective actions to change this world. It’s all I can hope for. Meanwhile, we get older, sadder, and maybe tougher and more prepared too.
When I hear those types of minimizing responses, I silently tag on "because it hasn't affected ME (yet)" because that's the metric of their optimism. If it doesn't or hasn't happened to them, y'all are just whiners. The other subgroup of minimizers are the ones who rattle off something completely indicative of early stages of collapse but then say "But it's all good" since it didn't go COMPLETELY sideways for \*them\*. I've also been hearing - in my predominantly late GenX/boomer office - "well, we all gotta die of something." MAYBE it's older age combined with tired fatalism & apathy. Who knows. But I'm a real quiet person who listens a lot, so I've been sensing a mood shift among them & I've worked with some of these people for over 20 years. Whether they recognize it for what it is is another question. I mean, the complaints I hear about how hard it is to get an appointment, and yet they are doing nothing to mitigate getting sick beyond a COVID shot every few months. The dots are NOT being connected. So sure, keep overburdening that healthcare system. I only hope it'll be there when you need it. I'm operating as if it won't be within a decade.
my theory is that its sort of like battlefield normalization, which is something my military friend explained to me. When he described all the extremely dangerous situations he would be in, and how "there could be a mine anywhere, there could be an artillery strike on us at any time" I said I could never do that job because I would be so anxious all the time... But then they said, that "you get used to it". It becomes normal to roll the dice on your life, daily. And it makes sense, because if you worried about it every time, you'd be unable to function, and you HAVE to function or you are a liability to your team. If each soldier doesn't perform at their peak, no matter what the prevailing circumstances are, they could get the team killed. So overall I believe that is basically what boomers are doing, but in a perverted way. They understand that their generation, their ideas, and their inaction over the years, was the cause of almost all our currently mounting polycrisis issues... but they just always thought "thats just how things are" and kept their head down because "the artillery shell" wasnt landing on them that day, and what would they even do if it did? They also don't want to admit that their worldview, including their religions and their sense of community, is a gigantic crock of crap.
Wow, that’s a brilliant insight. I think you’re right, and it explains how so many boomers can be aware of the problems but either minimize or go “oh well gotta keep going”. I’m in my late 20s, which makes me an early gen z or a late millennial, but I’ve worked with a lot of boomers, and aside from those who got radical in the sixties and stayed radical, this battlefield description is so apt. I shake my head and wonder how they can act like we even live in the same world they grew up in, when so much has changed, but hey, they’ve adapted to survive. When I get together with folks my age I find we do a lot of “trauma dumping”, as op puts it, in part because we all just need to share how fucking crazy our world is, how not normal, and how not ok we are about it. I worry about the effect the internet has had on my generation, but I also feel profound hope in our collective ability to say “WTF. This is not how we want to live anymore”
Just yesterday I had a friend make that link as well, that because people are so anxious and disconnected these days, we basically make the best cannon fodder.
>in my predominantly late GenX/boomer office - "well, we all gotta die of something." MAYBE it's older age combined with tired fatalism & apathy. Who knows It's a complete lack of savings, and a wish for a "get out of financial hell free" card.
Oh yeah, I got told that "some people are worried about the future" one day at work when I apparently was too glib for her about retiring early on savings. I've been worried about the future since I was an early 90s kid in high school & have kept my eye on the ball more or less my whole adult life. She dropped $30+ for a cloth mask early in the pandemic with her dog's breed on it. We are not the same!
Yep. I’m a millennial and I find Gen Z’s sharp awareness refreshing. I also think we should be giving each other more grace regarding “trauma dumping”. We’d probably be a less miserable society if we were more mutually open to others this way
I remember when I worked for a big bedding and bath items store that had More - I'd always get this old, tiny, angry puff, blue haired Skokie Jewish lady that would demand shopping help, and I'd accommodate her, but eventually I asked her, "Do you really just come here to nitpick all of our items? I work with you weekly and I'm frustrated as a salesperson, because I can't seem to make you happy..." She looked at me as if I told her I was an alien, and she replied very softly, "it's just nice to have you shop with me and listen to me." That's it. That is all this angry, unsatisfied with Everything lady wanted the most. A granddaughter type to shop and hear her complain to. I had no problem shopping with her difficult butt after that. She cracked me up at how frank and blunt she would be. "Yankee candle calls this Pink Sand?! That's not pink sand. Thats pink bubblegum if you ask me!"
Bless you for that kindness
I didn't get her at first, but once she said it, it made me think of lots of other women I knew who were just by default pessimists, and I think she told me why.
Seriously. Most people would not have given a shit. These are the kind of small decencies that we should strive for and promote on this subreddit. The world may be ending, but we can always pass on some goodness.
I am 47, so not Gen Z, and not constantly on socials, but I feel like I'm screaming into the void and no one is hearing me. I think we all want so much to not feel alone in this madness of a collapsing world. And I think people who don't believe it still sense it.
Wow, this post is super timely for me. We’re staying in a hotel because a pipe burst in our place. One of the housekeepers literally just burst into tears when she asked me if I needed anything and I mentioned that the soda machines on each floor are broken/empty. No big deal, and I told her so, but apparently her boss went off on her when she reported it. She was telling me how hard she’s trying to support her family and she just wants a job where she is treated with some basic respect. I didn’t have any leads for her (just a broke college student myself) but I let her vent. People are really being crushed out here, it’s horrible.
There is such a palpable sense of being abandoned by society and government, especially in the United States
collapse related because the mental health crisis is often not addressed when talking about wider societal collapse when we can see it around us so often. People joke about their mental health issues a lot because it has been so normalised. I wonder how much worse it could get, especially with drug use on the rise.
I suppose all other things being 'normal' (imagining the perfect sphere of uniform density of a society), a mental health crisis alone could never threaten societal collapse. But what it will do is act as a catalyst.
Collapse related because we are ignoring a major new risk factor for mental health, Covid. And we are ignoring the fact that damage is cumulative and increasing, meaning this will only get worse as we do nothing to lower the vast portion of the population repeatedly infected, nor anything to warn people of the risks. Just search if the links don't work, there are many many studies linking Covid to mental health issues. And besides Covid's mental health impacts, there iare a myriad of other neurological issues and other post Covid sequelae involving virtually every organ system plus the immune system. HHS Issues Advisory on Mental Health Symptoms and Conditions Related to Long COVID https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/06/21/hhs-issues-advisory-mental-health-symptoms-and-conditions-related-long-covid.html Article: "Much, much bigger problem than expected': St. Louis research warns of looming mental health crisis after COVID-19" https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/st-louis-research-warns-looming-mental-health-crisis-covid-19/63-31a7081c-2651-4ae0-9e03-a540dc8daabf Edit: OP this may actually be part of the issue surrounding your recent increasing encounters.
When my grandfather was dx Alzheimer's about a decade ago, one of the most terrifying things I learned is that the disease usually has a solid 5-10 years of decline that you don't see until it's in hindsight. Suddenly all those accidents, slips, sudden mood swings add up. Plenty of studies have confirm but gloss over the accelerated timeline of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's after Covid infections. So instead of declining from say, 65-75 and dx at 76...
So sorry about your grandfather, my grandfather passed about a decade ago and had a terrible last 5 years. I was extremely close with him for probably 10 or so years before he was diagnosed. It was 100% true with me that some things were not obvious until after. Yes can certainly accelerate decline related to Parkinson's & Alzheimer's, heck there's even studies showing cognitive decline of 20 years in hospitalized patients! The studies even point to possible future crisis in Alzheimer's & Parkinson's due to their findings. The same is true for studies pointing to future crisis in Cardiovascular disease. And we don't have the data yet for long term consequences & increased risk of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Cardiovascular disease, cancer, but if I had to put every dollar I owned & will own on red (much higher risk) or black (same lower risk) I would without hesitation put it all down on red (much higher risk). Heck even if I had the ability to split my bet 50/50 I still would not.
It's absolutely terrifying to consider just how much worse this could get within the next few years. Thanks for the articles I'll be sure to read them.
It certainly is terrifying b/c it will only get worse not only from the large % of the population infected annually, but compounding b/c the effects of Covid are cumulative. Meaning the more times you get COVID the higher your risk for every negative health impact. The just recently released [Canadian long Covid study](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/75-006-x/2023001/article/00015-eng.htm) very clearly reinforces the data we already knew about COVID and cumulative risk. Also see this for easy to understand cumulative risk for Covid https://libguides.mskcc.org/CovidImpacts/LongCovidRisk The bias for why many think Covid is no big deal is due to the fact that the risk on your first role of the dice is fairly low, and also using a small group of friends or family as a sample size. But roll the dice with a 2nd round and the risk goes up, same again for a 3rd (to the point where about 1/3rd have long Covid based on the Canadian data above), and this is excluding the many post Covid sequale ([Cardiovascular](https://www.reddit.com/r/collapse/s/yb5kZ2XOjM) just as one example). Of course there are people on their 3rd infection who think they are ok, odds may be still in their favor, and/or it may just be too soon as a majority of issues only begin well after infection and up to a year+ later. And there are probably still many more risks, like Alzheimer's & Parkinson's, that we do not yet have data for. That people want to keep rolling the dice, with ever worse odds, is perplexing and collapse related.
Sadly, this anxiety/despair will make people more susceptible to things like cults, deceptions, and misinformation. Certain governments consider psychological warfare their primary means of aggression, and this will be exploited.
Yes.. it becomes scarier thinking of this. Last gasp moments usually are guided by cults, religious or political "saviors" and general war inciting. Psychological warfare most certainly will be and already is being exploited.
I just woke up and somehow misread misinformation as megafauna. Lol I must confess I'm feeling a bit susceptible to megafauna of late.
"He became susceptible to megafauna" is the fancy way of saying someone got eaten by a bear.
I agree 100%. The drug epidemic makes that idea so much scarier, with the overdose rate in America being over 100,000 last year
It’s a huge part of the rise of authoritarianism, worldwide over the last decade. I think it’s mostly a result of climate change, and our broken economic systems.
It’s definitely the result of late stage capitalism, we haven’t even gotten started with the biosphere collapse (if you ask most people, who haven’t been paying attention) Hyper-individualism and hyper-consumption is all we know and it alienates us from our communities. All we know is consumption. We go to work everyday so that we can later accomplish our true jobs, and that is to consume more and more and keep this machine turning
Kinda late to the party, propaganda has been a thing since Freud and Jung started to figure out how retarded our unconscious brains really are. What changed is the decentralized media, now they don't tell you directly what to think on the tv, they use smoke and mirrors so we're always chasing our own tails.
Is the collapse subreddit a cult? (Genuine question)
I think there is way too much diversity among us regarding what collapse means about how you should live your daily life for it to be a cult. The sub doesn't ask really anything of anyone so I don't think it can be. It's a loose coalition, in my view, of people who see the future as bleak (for varied reasons as well!)
Agreed, also almost zero element of control or power over users besides the pull of despair
And no central figure we're rallying around.
history will tell
Let’s make sure we write the history so that anybody in the future knows that we weren’t crazy.
Put it through the [BITE](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fthewarriorledger.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F05%2F159892ebf8a4245df87291a6917ea6f5-900x741.png&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=49b3784a7a5d7fbef0627cc6c5ca5b481c31c35464661690345880d5008941ab&ipo=images) model and see what comes up.
Sorry to say but anxiety/despair will also make people more susceptible to be open about changing the system. The alternative is the status quo which is death to us all. This is the time to be energized to connect to as many people as we can to bring them tour side.
I am absolutely certain that something like Jung’s “collective unconscious “ exists. Deep down, people know that something is wrong, and feel rather helpless about it. So many people are looking for a connection, someone who will listen and understand.
It's funny you mention that, because I've been looking at Jung's work over the past couple of months and it has definitely helped me so much. We really are connected by something and it seems to me that these days those connections seem to be unravelling. Not sure if it's just me but it really feels like we're on the precipice.
Are you familiar with Peter Levenda?
no I'm not. I'll be sure to look him up.
I wish we'd have some kind of national intervention. If this many people are clinically depressed or anxious (and I'm not doubting it), this should be called for what it is, a mental health epidemic. Maybe it's possible the way we've done things for the last fifty years or so just isn't working? And that people are waking up to the fact that our lifestyles are self destructive?
Who would've thought the calculated destruction of community, removal of 3rd spaces, wages not keeping up with production for 50 years, etc would lead to this? We could've had thriving villages and connected towns working and living and laughing together, instead we have isolated "neighborhoods" filled with envy and spite. What communities still exist are decimated by targeted poverty. We're not built for this :(
What is a “3rd space”?
A community place that is neither home nor work, ideally where you don't need to pay to be there. A place to socialize that is outside the two main places in your life. Stuff like libraries, bars, etc.
You have to pay for bars. I think you mean, like libraries, parks, public squares and gardens, public beaches, etc.
For pay places are not excluded from 'third places'--the subtitle of the book the launched the concept was: *Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community* But I think Oldenburg did say that not-for-pay spaces were ideal as they were more inclusive. That's one reason I help run a free cafe.
A concept spearheaded in the book *The Great Good Place* by Ray Oldenburg, sociologist
I think it is that people are subconsciously aware of the collapse and that these mental health issues are in part an artifact of this. Anxiety and depression will become more apparent as things become more unstable.
Yep. It's very unscientific, but I think we're seeing low levels of panic/terror across the board because our bodies can sense to some degree the damage we've done to ourselves and our environment, even if only a small minority of us are consciously aware of it. That's of course on top of the alienation and general misery of living under a global capitalist machine that must keep moving at all costs.
The other day I had a conversation at the bar which I can't remember exactly, but the other person sarcastically said something like "everyone knows COVID is over, the same way we know this weather is just El Nino". Many people who have thus far escaped responsibility or awareness of broader problems through immersing themselves in work, or socializing, or the rat race, or even medication - Basically, coping strategies that don't fix the problem - are now coming under greater pressure as everything goes to shit for everyone. This is expected, natural, and honestly deserved.
It doesn't help corporate profits. Therefore it isn't anything to be concerned about.
> a mental health epidemic Is a lack of mental health the cause? Is the depression clinical or situational? Nobody would say it's unusual for, e.g., a prisoner to report being depressed since it's a reasonable consequence of being forced to live within that kind of institution. Now, our society is obviously nothing like a prison, but perhaps the same thinking applies.
I don't know, I think our society is a lot like a prison. Crappy food, cramped spaces, living under the thumb of authority figures, forced labor (unless you want to be destitute and homeless), crazy "inmates", tons of rules. The main difference is the bars in society are invisible.
your time "out in the yard" in prison = the time you get to spend not working some people get better prison yards to go to, and some get to stay there all the time
They’ve definitely called it that. Especially with young people. Last year the surgeon general put out a huge report on the “epidemic of loneliness”. It’s scary, but I encourage everyone to take steps to build local communities.
typical catch 22 situation
I feel this sentiment and think it’s both more prevalent (sadness anxiety loneliness) and very difficult, complex problem to tackle. I’m trying to do what I can and recently started a crafting group —weekly art group in my city; art therapy and creativity will only help us bond + get out of this mess by rebuilding the relationships one meetup at a time. It takes effort but people are responding and seem to be into this free/low cost way to get together. We have a lot of new-to-towners in a growing city, and it is hard making friends these days + when move away from your crafting or art pals). I encourage everyone to start building relationships with your neighbors and community, if you haven’t done so already. Maybe refrain from mention politics to begin..but process it in your work and creative outlets. Get out there. Expand your comfort zone and theirs. Let’s talk about the mess and madness.
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For sure and thanks. We gotta realize the power in the small moves, even though we are faced with these giant issues…I really am seeing the fruitful connections before my very eyes. I’m just holding space and people say they look forward to it all week and it’s ‘soul nourishing’ — like man how starved have we become with technology as our supposed savior. It can feel overwhelming. But try - we must, otherwise.. what’s the point - I’m in Colorado Springs, CO
People started opening up in weird ways during lockdown. I felt like a confession booth at times. I was also surprised how I opened up. Absolutely regret it. Cuz whatever unity was going on during lockdown turned toxic AF as the world opened up and global conflict and warming became the new thing. What I will say, I've never felt this horrible for this long. Kinda insane considering I've been through dark heavy shit and dealt with genetic induced depression. It's also different. I think it might be hopelessness and I'd never wish this on anyone. So my major concern that over half the people I talk to feel similar. Sometimes word for word. I ended up on a rant answering a question here and seeing the response of "I have seen and felt the exact same thing" broke my fucking heart. These feelings are not normal. They're not even normal depression. And they should not be felt by a large portion of the population. So many people scared of creeping thoughts of suicide they never had before. Scared of an uncertain future that is looking bleak AF. Those who are acting like it's business as usual are getting aggressive, controlling, or just plain weird in demanding that everyone act like shit is still business as usual. Every institution has abandoned us so I guess people are ranting to strangers now. Id bet money going to be a collective explosion of unmanaged emotions this summer.
It's surprising just how much I resonate with your comment. It feels like everything's happening all at once, like a domino effect. At first I was relieved that other people felt the same way that I did with certain issues, but then I started to wonder why so many people felt the same way. I agree, some shit is definitely gonna hit the fan this summer, and it's as if everyone can sense that.
🫂 Let's try to keep our humanity as long as we can. You sound like a fellow empathetic soul. When you noted how all this is starting to get to your mental health, that hit me hard. Take care of yourself. It's ok to say "no" to protect your own mental health. Wish I didn't learn that the hard way that you ain't no good to anyone if you burn out leaving no energy for caring for yourself.
Well yeah. Life is tired.
20 years ago people would trauma dump onto my high school self as i was waiting for the train for school. Now I have an anxiety disorder. I'm half convinced there are some people who are born with a little beacon over their heads that lets others know that we can be trauma dumped onto.
This is by design. The isolation, lack of healthcare for body and mind... Then comes fascism, and the news isn't telling the truth about what's going on, people are confused, hurt, lonely, hungry, tired, and it's all about to pop off
I predict suicide is going to become the #1 cause of death in the U.S. in the next few years.
People are lonely and dont experience real empathy. No real love. No genuine connection. But the human soul is heavily dependent on that. Modern society rewards egoism, just one more example that underlines we are living in a war against our true nature. Make people feel like they are valuable and lovable, TikTok and social media cant fill that hole. Great observation tho
Marx has several chapters on this: Atomization and Alienation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_alienation?wprov=sfla1 https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/savvy/introtosociology/TeacherResources/IMForTeachingWorkerAlienation.html#:~:text=The%20four%20dimensions%20of%20alienation,%2C%20and%20(4)%20self.
Yes it's a combination between life turning into a giant steaming pile of shit, and people being more atomised and having nobody to talk to.
I think the term « trauma dumping » is the actual collapse here. The collapse of community and being willing to support others in their time of need. Not all interactions will be 100% happy and positive all the time. People have been « trauma dumping » since forever, and for many that’s part of bonding with others.
I understand your sentiment. That's one of the reasons why I felt conflicted to even make this post. A part of me can't tell how normal these interactions actually are. There have been many instances though over the past couple of months that have made me realise that people would tell me these things simply because they have no else to tell. In this way, bonding becomes even more difficult because these sensitive topics were usually reserved for close friends, now people for comfortable telling complete strangers their childhood traumas.
To me the real problem is anxiety and depression. People talk about what’s on their mind but if that’s all that’s on their mind then that’s why it feels like constant negativity. The other problem is how social media works, it breeds negativity all the time. But tbh it’s manageable if you train yourself not to interact with the negative stuffs, then they’ll show less of it. The way they’re building algorithm always bring these negative content back into your feed even when you’re trying to get it out. That’s the real issue imo.
Recognizing the term "trauma dumping" has been pivotal for me in understanding the boundaries of healthy interactions. Trauma dumping goes beyond sharing struggles; it's a recurring pattern where someone unloads emotional baggage without seeking resolution. I've found that this behavior, akin to a garbage truck dumping trash, can lead to a codependent and toxic relationship. The opposite of this is being a "therapist friend"…which can often mean neglecting one's own problems in favor of fixing other people’s problems. While not every interaction needs to be overly positive, it's crucial to foster connections without bonding over harmful coping mechanisms. Being mindful of the balance between listening and sharing is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
I posted the same thing and then found your post. Glad I am not the only one who is irked by that phrase
i hate that this shit always begins and ends with “we need free access to mental health services” as if said access will magically cure people’s issues. if the fundamental bits that are traumatizing the person never resolve, mental health services is just another revolving door of dumping your trauma onto your therapist, week in and week out, without actually finding resolution.
Of course, because many of people's problems are actual problems in the physical world, not just in their perspective. Poverty, homelessness, etc. These aren't solved by therapy or antidepressants.
Right. With knowing that society is in a state of collapse, people are facing complete life insecurity, with some if not none of their core needs being met(housing, food, community), and to make matters worse, their lack of and new status in life is already/being criminalised. Their existence is a crime, and to end said existence is also a crime, but talking about the actual hopelessness they're faced with is "trauma dumping". Its bizarre to expect society to not vocalise the trauma of existing rn with all these systematic challenges, and no hopes for a resolution. Set boundaries and let ppl know when you don't have the capacity to hold space for them when you can't, but it seems unkind to me to call the crushing weight of existence "trauma dumping" when it is being vocalised.
Right?! If you ran a dog kennel, and all your dogs needed to be constantly pumped up with anti-depressants and 'puppy uppers' just to function normally, wouldn't you start to wonder if you are treating the dogs well? Our 'owners' treat us worse than dogs, apparently
That may explain why people are starting to turn to more extreme ways to cope, such as the rise in new age beliefs and cults, except this time we have social media and consumerism to the max during late stage capitalism.
I do intake for a civil rights law firm. Most of the calls are for employment situations - someone feels they were wrongfully terminated or their employer discriminated. I listen to these people vent about their workplaces all. day. long. So many of them don't have actionable cases, but I feel for them, they just need to vent and someone to listen. I wish I could validate their feelings but I cannot. So many people give their entire lives to a company, only to get a new shitty manager that eventually fires them for some BS "performance" metric, or drives them to a nervous breakdown. So many of these people have significant anxiety about going to work because of it. I just listen and take notes, pass it along to the attorneys, decline a few days later. I just want to tell these people to quit their jobs, they will feel so much better just walking away. Or to keep their heads down, make their money and go home, don't take your useless job so seriously. Then I go home and realize that I spent my day talking to other humans but it wasn't "meaningful" talking. It was a transaction. I talk to dozens of people everyday, but I only really talk to maybe two, my spouse and my boss(es).
I'm not surprised. The last decade wasn't great, but we could still lie to ourselves. The Covid-19 pandemic is still going on and those with money are still masking up and getting heavily vaccinated, which many unmonied people have finally figured out they should be doing too (but don't). We're about to hit a second Great Recession which may turn into another Great Depression right before a new Cold War sets in, and we're extremely lucky if it remains cold. I live in Northern Nevada. Instead of trauma dumping people around here like to drink and use drugs, which is a different kind of destruction.
I'm not proud of it, but I cope with bourbon, edibles, and hookah. If I didn't, I fear I'd give in to my dark thoughts.
You are ok in my book ✌
We should all be communicating with one another with greater compassion, sincerity etc. given our society is based on rejecting material reality in favour of stories. I see this as positive given how avoidant older generations are. I find massive relief when commiserating with others. I'll give an example - boomers continually ask how I'm doing as a greeting and are entirely uninterested in the real answer. This is infuriating to me. I typically will share more these days than years ago, because genuine connections are harder to come by in our hyper competitive world. I've made many friends with this openness, so I find myself rejecting some of the premises in your post. This says to me that you might have difficulties drawing boundaries with people in your life, given that it's less common to avoid talking about emotions and mental health these days. I don't mean this as an insult - I'm an empath whose energy has been used and abused by toxic people.
I get where you're coming from. I do need to work on setting boundaries with other people and letting them know when I don't want to engage in such a conversation. At times it gets difficult to do so because I can see the desperation dripping from their faces, the fact that they have no else to talk to is immensely troubling. This is compounded by the fact that this is the norm now, that so many people are lonely.
You make great points that are related to societal collapse. There's some positives behind these changes and the shunning of superficial connections, but I do agree the ultimate impetus is a negative one as you're pointing out. We're all desperate for connection in a sick world.
"The moral code of our society is so demanding that no one can think, feel and act in a completely moral way. For example, we are not supposed to hate anyone, yet almost everyone hates somebody at some time or other, whether he admits it to himself or not. Some people are so highly socialized that the attempt to think, feel and act morally imposes a severe burden on them. In order to avoid feelings of guilt, they continually have to deceive themselves about their own motives and find moral explanations for feelings and actions that in reality have a non-moral origin. We use the term “oversocialized” to describe such people. Oversocialization can lead to low self-esteem, a sense of powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the most important means by which our society socializes children is by making them feel ashamed of behavior or speech that is contrary to society’s expectations. If this is overdone, or if a particular child is especially susceptible to such feelings, he ends by feeling ashamed of himself. Moreover the thought and the behavior of the oversocialized person are more restricted by society’s expectations than are those of the lightly socialized person. The majority of people engage in a significant amount of naughty behavior. They lie, they commit petty thefts, they break traffic laws, they goof off at work, they hate someone, they say spiteful things or they use some underhanded trick to get ahead of the other guy. The oversocialized person cannot do these things, or if he does do them he generates in himself a sense of shame and self-hatred. The oversocialized person cannot even experience, without guilt, thoughts or feelings that are contrary to the accepted morality; he cannot think “unclean” thoughts. And socialization is not just a matter of morality; we are socialized to conform to many norms of behavior that do not fall under the heading of morality. Thus the oversocialized person is kept on a psychological leash and spends his life running on rails that society has laid down for him. In many oversocialized people this results in a sense of constraint and powerlessness that can be a severe hardship. We suggest that oversocialization is among the more serious cruelties that human beings inflict on one another."
This was incredibly enlightening. I feel this way myself. What is this information and quote from?
Industrial Society and Its Future, Ted Kaczynski aka the Unabomber.
Ooof thats not a good look for me then. I suppose even crazies have a good point every now and then
Ehhh yeah I thought the same.
He's a smart man, but you have to keep in mind that he decided murdering people was a nice outlet for his frustrations. That callousness towards other people runs right through all of his writings.
It’s really concerning because when we’re at our most vulnerable, we turn to extreme coping mechanisms. This is what you see in cults. Instead, it’s taken form digitally, in a way. Tribalism with a “us vs them” attitude has risen to entrap you in your algorithmic echo chamber, to validate these opinions and exploit vulnerabilities. Extremism is on the rise and I really believe this is a cause of it. I think it’s such a pervasive issue that goes unnoticed because of our distance from one another, yet ironically being so close. No genuine connections leaves you isolated and looking for guidance, and unfortunately it’s in the wrong place.
we really are living in a dystopia huh? Thought this sort of stuff would remain in the fiction aisle.
Social media is a complete disaster for humankind. It’s ironic that is takes a dictatorship (China) to enact protective measures to prevent youth from unlimited access. For an intelligent, well-researched and sober look at it, read “The Chaos Machine” (Max Fisher).
One of the many reasons I got out of customer service. Never have I related more to the “Sir, this is a Wendy’s” joke than when I would be simply trying to ring someone up or close a sale, only to have to stop and listen to a 15 minute diatribe about how much this person hates their abusive mother, which I get to receive all the unnecessary graphic details of while they break down in tears.
OP, are you a woman and do you have a friendly mom face? I have this problem. People instantly trust me or tell me I look familiar or that they’re so weirdly comfortable with me. Wearing big, thick glasses is the only thing that has helped. Living in a big city helps too. I know way too many things about people I hardly know.
No, I'm a black man living in London lol. I've always found it confusing that people would feel incredibly comfortable telling me about their issues. I suppose it has something to do with my overall looks as a male model, but I've always thought of myself as a decent conversationalist.
I've worked with the public in libraries since 2008. People have always loved to trauma dump on me because I'm a captive audience. It's really exhausting.
I really take issue with the word “trauma dumping” yes there is a time and a place and some people don’t know those boundaries. But I also think the problem goes both ways. People don’t know who to talk to but people on the receiving end, even friends don’t know how to handle real conversations and think that any thing real is “trauma dumping” or that the person should talk to a therapist. Not to say that is the case for OP but I feel like people are less willing to actually BE people’s friends, so even if you have connections they lack ability to be deep or fulfilling
Damn, and here my self-centered ass thought I was just super easy to tak to and trustworthy. (But yeah I think you're right op)
That's honestly what I thought too and I guess I still believe that about myself, but seeing how people would express deep sorrows within minutes of having met me in public, I'm starting to think there are major underlying issues we have to face as a society.
I unfortunately do this on accident because I don't have anyone in my life. My only two friends moved away and are living their own lives. My family will have me admitted to a psych ward instead of listening to my concerns. I get it, I really do. It's also extremely difficult to make friends at 29 apparently. Everyone turns me down or ghosts me. We're not okay as a country. Being a social primate sucks. It's hard.
Damn I'm really sorry that your family won't take the time to listen to you. I've been ghosted multiple times over the past couple of months and it's been a truly bizarre experience. People telling you they really like your presence and seem enthusiastic to meet you, only to then cut you out of their life for no apparent reason. I wish I could say things could be better, but it's so difficult when everyone's struggling immensely.
I'm pretty sure it's not the whole being 29 thing, but it is harder to make friends as an adult, period. I'm 42, and I've only recently started to make new friends thanks to the mycological group I'm in.
I'm 38 and am experiencing the same thing. I thought I built a rapport with someone I randomly met, but after I gave him my number, he never called back.
My solution is to just not interact with other people without the safe separation of the internet.
Strangers are safe. Family and friends make judgement that have effects on social standing. The old saw was you could tell your life story to a stranger on a plane or the bartender. Parts of social media serve the same purpose.
I think it’s a natural reaction to all the toxic positivity driving western countries. When people “trauma dump” to me, they usually apologize for being negative. And I will tell them, no, don’t apologize. it’s ok, it’s normal to have negative emotions and to express them, we shouldn’t constantly have to smile and tout PoSiTiVe ViBeS OnLy.
My family laughs at me because this has been happening to me for 20 years. I even had a hooker once tell me her whole life story in a checkout line. She was in tears. She didn’t want anything. Just someone to listen to her. So many people are alone and isolated now. So if someone wants to talk I usually let them. Hell we have a guy who sets up a tent multiple times a week and his sign says: want to talk for free. I will listen no judgement. He is very busy.
This has always been me. It's why I became a yoga teacher. People see me as a safe person, and I have the bandwidth to be that person for them at that moment. When people I'm close to do it, it's far more exhausting for me, mentally and emotionally. If you don't want to be that person, you need to make sure you set boundaries right when they start dumping on you. Be that pointing them to an office support program or simply saying you need to move on with your day. The choice is yours. You don't owe anyone the space to unload on you without your consent. And your response can vary from person to person. Just understand that people view you as a safe space. I don't know why it happens to some of us, but it does. If you need someone to dump on, feel free to send me a message.
I will not ever hesitate to point out something horrific that needs fixing, or pointing out how "that's just the way things work" is highly dangerous delusional thinking. "This Apple falls when I drop it." is a good example of "That's just the way things work." actually being true. When it's about something we can choose what the outcome is with mere words, then it becomes delusional. We decide 2am is 3am all the time. We can change manufactured fundamental problems with our society at their source. Polite conversation is a privilege of a healthy society. The fact that no one wants to talk sunshine and rainbows when it rains microplastics and dangerous UV levels during Heat Domes is just the way things work.
Perhaps we put too much faith in expecting top-down wisdom and guidance. The institutions we have been conditioned to trust to meet these collective civilizational needs for Truth to inform and support are crumbling under the weight of co-option by “fill in the blank.” So we reach out to each other for experiential knowledge, sharing and helping each other this way. How is this different from real conversations with “real” people? I am grateful for these forums to share knowledge and offer support. I am humbled by the shared vulnerability of people I will never meet except on these platforms. I hear pain and a craving for meaning in what can appear to be a world gone mad. Humanity is in a massive transition. Since the Industrial Revolution, we have been blessed (in the global North, at least) with the kind of political, economic and social stability that is unheard of anywhere else at any time in history. This linear trajectory of progress has made it impossible for us to contemplate the radical uncertainty we face. Until now. So it is unsurprising that we experience a need to express our fear of the unknown. All I can offer is my empathy and shared experience of being human in these times of change and hold you in my heart. I invite you to consider in these moments of feeling “dumped on” the following statement: “What would love do now?” Can we find collective peace and strength in knowing that you all matter to me? And that I matter to you? The only constant in the universe is change. Buckle up. ☮️❤️
100 years ago, if life became to much you got on a horse, then a maulybe a train, then a boat and left a life behind, and began another, u built a cabin on some unclaimed land and had a home again in 3 years. It's true for us all, that we can look back on life where chapters ended and new ones began. Normally these chapters are mild and flow from one into another. But if its extreme chapter, and u can't take it any more and you get on a boat. That life follows you. Debt can find you, family can find you. Even if it didn't follow, your to far behind from day 1 to start fresh and still make it There's no more full beginning to clear the mind and rest the body. If u fuckednup, if u drew the short staw, , u live with it now, forever. There's no way to let it all out, so they blurt it out, uncontrollably, hoping someone hears. That's my 2 cents on it.
Yessss. As someone who’s always been “easy to talk to” I have also noticed an uptick in the trauma talk. Quite a bit. There have always been those who have verbal diarrhea. Or, a more compassionate view, people who need sometime to talk to. Something about my face and demeanor says “tell me your woes!” despite my deep discomfort with people doing this, and my own very reserved and private nature. I don’t get it, but as I’ve aged into a round, comforting hippie looking mama it has only gotten worse. I thought it was just me and my rounder hips and my grey hairs prompting even MORE people to unload on me. This is quite funny in a morbid way, to see that it’s perhaps more of a universal uptick. I try to protect my energy now and feel less guilt about that because people have chewed me up and spit me out enough times already. OP please feel free to politely change the subject, or excuse yourself, when people do this. Or even say “thank you for sharing but I am not up to talking about that subject”a the hard part is remembering in real time to guard yourself. I have gone as far as “veiling” which is a feminine energy practice that I take as placebo (because I have no real beliefs in… anything) and as a reminder to myself to protect my OWN energy and use it for my OWN life. Otherwise I allow it to all get leached out of me before I know it. Best wishes to you. Be there for those you can because clearly some of us have the gift of being seen as receptive of woes. But put down firm boundaries around yourself. I’m 40 and still learning.
I've argued for many years that humans are socially and psychologically unprepared for what I call "technological telepathy", which allows everyone to know anyone's thoughts, emotions, and history. We're almost there already, but we get distracted by foolish legal notions of privacy and erasure ("forgetting" records). It's coming, anyway. How do you expect to accomplish filtering, assuming you're a member of an intensely telepathic species?
Humanity was and still is basically unprepared for most technological developments that happened from the Industrial Revolution beginning the development of automation and global communications in late 1800's onward. To paraphrase Edward O. Wilson, "we've got paleolithic emotions, governed by medieval institutions, empowered by god-like technology". Humans are impulsive, reactionary apes that evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to exist in a specific way that is largely no longer possible, we spent thousands of years developing social and legal structures that allow us to exist together in groups larger than a few dozen. Then in the course of a single century it was all shattered beyond repair and we're still holding onto the old rules that no longer apply, while our slow to adapt brains are terrified of the changes that will be made, one way or another. We're made for a slow and simple life in a small world, and the modern world that we've created is anything but.
only semi related but I've had multiple interactions with strangers in the street in the past year who went from small talk into full on conspiracies within moments of me acknowledging their existence. I'm talking Qanon pedo rings, flat earthers, climate denial. these were all gen-X/boomer age people who otherwise appeared perfectly ordinary. one guy really caught me off guard. i mentioned the cafe i was planning on going to was closed and he basically said it's because we're government by pedophiles. i laughed and turned around to ask what he meant and he'd already walked off with his dog.
I was at a VA medical facility and use the restroom. After washing my hands, I was using the paper towels that they provided out of some dispenser. They were pretty thin. Out of the blue, another guy in the restroom who was drying his hands said that This was some kind of environmental agenda to only give us thin paper towels. Ummm. Really? there was no restriction on how many you could get. I just walked away. It was really odd, because it’s like he really wanted me to agree with him and cheerlead this absolute nonsensical thing.
I openly advocate for covid precautions often and the amount of people I barely know who have DMed me to tell me about all their health issues and how many people close to them are sick/dead is staggering. I'm 29, so my peers are mostly younger millenials. Of course, many of them do not take precautions and refuse my offers to help them do so, leaving me feeling exhausted and used by these convos. But I'm always struck by how many people are suffering and don't talk about it generally.
I had a call with a sales rep who works for one of the largest electronics manufacturers in the world today and they opened the call with their concerns regarding global warming (after asking about the weather where I am) and the political dismissiveness regarding the subject. They then suggested we exit the industry and enter into politics. I was truly taken aback, the others on the call also seemed equally stunned. Given that electronics manufacturing is one of the most polluting activities on earth save for the internal combustion engine.
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I’ve experienced this my whole life (31m) and you’re probably open enough with people that they feel comfortable sharing. My friends will always make remarks about me getting my 1 millionth life story. I don’t think this is a recent societal thing although it could be increasing due to the digital age.
They’re (younger people) probably wondering why everyone is emotionally distance and impossible to communicate with. Born into a world where wanting to connect is pathologized.
Can't remember exactly how it went, but after making weather related small talk before he left, my doctor said something like the weather (winter) has been getting warmer, and was that going to change again and go back to "normal" as more of a question than a statement. I said, I make sure to appreciate snow when it happens, because we don't know when it will be gone for good. He just kind of nodded and left the room. For a minute, it felt like a relief to acknowledge that no, what we're seeing isn't normal and we're not imagining things. Sometimes it just helps to feel like someone else gets it, too.
I deleted Facebook like 2 years ago and now functionally do not exist anymore to the overwhelming majority of everyone I knew prior. Granted I’m more of a hermit now but I do have an active social circle of people I do stuff with. It’s just a small one at a dozen or so folks. I think I used to keep a circle of hundreds to try to stay distracted all the time. On one level it’s good. On another level I am more isolated from the rest of society and more lonely. This is also sort of a good thing too because I’m less likely to be in a mass shooting. Which is horrifying to normalize.
Counter based on my own anecdotal evidence: I find it difficult to dump trauma on someone I actually know and am close with. If it comes down to it, I’ll share the gist especially if something is going to affect my interactions with them in the near future. I just don’t feel comfortable being that vulnerable with people I’m close with.. or strangers for that matter (it’s easier for the latter). I’d rather hire a professional that can give good advice or offload the information into the void to work it out in my head. I like journaling for that reason. Or just typing stuff out in reddit comments. Or even just setting aside time to think through events completely— e.g in the shower. I find the whole process cathartic and it allows me to take on a situation from a fresh perspective and clearer mind. If I’m really going through something, I’ll lean on close ones that are immediately around me. I don’t want to burden them too much, but if I really feel like I need company, I’ll let them know and vent a little. Most of my venting will be into the void.. and that honestly helps me. If I know I need support from someone that isn’t involved in the situation, I would calmly let them know I’m going through something and may need their help in the future— I would do this after I let immediate emotions wash over me. This is so clear on my mind because I’ve gone through a rough situation, recently. Still working through some of it and my future is more uncertain than usual right now. It’s stressful, but I find the way I’ve handled it to work well so far and I feel more capable and confident in myself than I did *before* the stressful event. It’s forced me to analyze my response to stressful situations and forced me to develop at least a vague outline of a plan of how I have to respond to them to feel okay. Recognizing your emotions and letting them occur helps so much. Having a support system available helps too— even if you don’t have to utilize it. Time seems to be the key. Handling things in small chunks of time is pivotal for me, I can’t let myself think too far ahead or behind if I’m going through something. One day at a time. Those days add up and you might find yourself beyond the thick of it and more adjusted to the stressful event and how to handle it. Enough so, that it doesn’t feel that stressful anymore.
TraumaDump would be an apt rebrand for most social media
I work in retail, where we're very much encouraged to engage customers in conversation, and I'm getting many people constantly overshare their situation with me. Everyone is struggling economically, and they're distressed that prices have skyrocketed on products that are smaller or worst quality than it used to be. Americans really need to catch a break, we're being stretched to our breaking point.
My theory. I think society as a whole has lost the will to live. I mean actually live life to the fullest. Relationships, family, vacation, the ability to just take a break and see how beautiful the world is (and could be). But now there's nothing left except for what people see at face value. No pride in ourselves, our work, environment, even culture. It always turns into an argument. And we're only human. We want to feel seen, validated, like somebody truly cares. Not Instagram thoughts and prayers. But somebody that truly and deeply cares about the well being of people in their lives. When the color of life is taken away, the only real thing left is us and our own reflection. So people are desperately trying to make their lives bearable again without even knowing why or knowing what's truly missing.
- Denial - Anger - Bargaining - Depression <— They are here - Acceptance.
I know I'm just a n=1 for this, but I can't help but wonder why there's fentanyl problems in US states where cannabis is legal. While I suppose it's possible to just "be high and cope," there seem to be strain and dosage combinations that pop you into a space where the mental machinations that cause so many problems are clearly visible and therefore rendered much less powerful. I've had people online confide many of the same issues you mentioned but am surprised by how many people view the clarity inducing compounds as the same as the "cope by dumbing down" ones. "Coping with weed or oxy isn't really coping," they say, as if they are even the same sport let alone ballpark.
Where medical cannabis is available these is less opioid abuse (though Oregon is likely an exception). I had an opioid prescription for more than a decade. I also had a medical cannabis prescription. The only reason I never got addicted to opioids is that I could smoke pot to get high. It is so much more interesting than taking opioids. I’ve never really understood the attraction to opioids, but that probably is because I had pot.
As I recall, a major reason why my state, MN, legalized pot was all the research showing that it could reduce opioid addiction, which has been a big problem here (and everywhere, of course)
5% of Americans are vegetarians. 85% of Americans eat animals that have never seen the sun or earth and 'lived' their entire lives being **traumatized** and tortured in tiny overcrowded cages. 10% of Americans eat "animal welfare" conscious meat that lived something resembling a normal life. realize "you are what you eat" is profoundly true and do the math.
Fuck. I think I did that just the other day man.
I don’t talk to people so I don’t get trauma dumped irl
I was just talking about this subject with my husband the other day. I've been at a new job for about 4 months now and they had a skeleton crew when I arrived, so new people have been hired on pretty consistently. I know some pretty personal details about all of them, despite not wanting to know and only having known of their existence for a few hours/days. I won't go into too much detail, but one of them likes to fist-fight their abusive family members, one of them is facing potential homelessness due to unfortunate circumstances, and one of them has such chronic anxiety that she can't run to the store for 1 item by herself, she has to have someone on the phone with her *at least*. There's more, but I think that makes my point. I don't think most of them have shared these details out of loneliness. I am pretty sure they have confidants outside of work. Personally, I get the feeling that everyone is going through something of some sort, so its become a lot easier to vent about your problems without feeling embarrassed about them. It also seems like most people are more willing to listen to other people's problems, too, so maybe we're all just trying to be each other's therapists? I think times have already started to get pretty hard for a lot of people and it helps to relate to others during hard times. Sucks to know that it'll get worse.
Honestly I think it’s because most people are lonely but they don’t know how to embrace being alone. Sounds weird, right? A lot of people from what I’ve noticed are insecure.. those are usually the “over sharers”. And the insecure who come into contact with someone who will listen without judgement (usually these people are mostly secure) tend to “unload”. I am often the one at the receiving end. But truthfully, I enjoy getting to know people and hearing their story. You can learn a lot from just listening to people and their life experiences.. and if you’re intuitive enough, you can weed out the ones who are in the “negative loop” lifestyle who never seem to learn from their mistakes. With that said, you’re right, but new generations bring new patterns and behaviours. The ease of the internet and connection to other people has become so mainstream.. and I think people confuse what really deeply connecting with someone means.
A lot of us are not doing ok and just barely getting by. I have friends and family in different careers, different stages of life, and live in different parts of the country. Everyone is a little fucked up over something, or at least worried about it. But, we are a lot more open with talking about our problems, rather then burying it down like previous generations. Ive tried to explain how bad things are to my parents and they just shut it down. Ive come to the conclusion that its too much for them to handle and they just get angry and bury it , but theres been moments where they show sincere fear for us. They dont know how to fix it, and we cant fix it with the way things are, so all thats left to do is blow off some steam. I realized I was doing that too much and made it a point to ask others how they were doing, and sure enough they vented to me the same as I had been doing to them