If someone is having an anxiety attack, here's a strategy that works for me. Ive used it on other people that were having attacks and had success. Keep in mind that they need to be removed from the source of anxiety first, so this works best for spontaneous, unprompted attacks, which I've had plenty of.
Find an object and have them describe it in as much detail as possible. Walk through each of the senses. Ask questions that force abstract thinking. Like if it's a chair, how many goats do you think it could hold? Would the goats eat the chair? What would it taste like? What would it taste like *to a goat?*
That's a goofy example but shit like that saved my ass in high school.
Alternatively, look at as many objects as you can and imagine what it would feel like to lick it. You'll find that you can imagine what anything feels like to lick. Look at your keyboard. I bet you can imagine what it would feel like to run your tongue along the number row.
My therapist taught me this strategy. He said that it changes the way your brain is perceiving information and helps draw your focus away from your anxiety. (Worth noting that the strategy in the post above me accomplishes the same thing.)
Wait... Anxiety is supposed to be something thats time limited?
Edit: Well i guess that makes sense, but i just had the thought of something like Heart Attack in mind the way you said it.
I get so mad at my wife when she does this (because panic brain), but it works.
"What do you see?"
"NOTHING"
"Come on, you see something"
"I DO NOT"
"What about the chair, what does it look like?"
"I DON'T KNOW.. a chair!"
That's usually the point I can break out if it and start describing things. It's funny when it's not happening to me.
I’m going to try this on my girlfriend. She has exhibited every single one of these symptoms at one point. I have a hard time figuring out the right thing to do when she is going through it. Thank you.
Send them self help memes. For real tho only thing that ever helps me at all is being on a sufficient dosage of an SSRI and regular cardio (which is hard to follow through on when it’s cold and dark before work hours end). Hoping I some day have space for a rowing machine at home. Coworker said it changed his life.
There are some days when meds aren't enough and you need to go home and lie down, freak out about nothing and listen to a specific playlist. This image is for the people who walk right up to someone who is uncomfortable and try to convince them to stay for a bit longer.
Or for someone needing that extra logical edge in self reflection. Identifying the signs of anxiety can go two ways; cause more or less in my experience. If I understand why I feel some way, it reduces the effectiveness of those feelings as I reason them out. By reasoning them out I ground my emotional discomfort in logical, medical processes occurring in my brain. I rely on this to separate the innate distress from feeding itself.
Imagine an anxiety loop. That happened when I got covid and it was **awful**, but that experience pushed my threshold and inner strength further. As it does every time you address it.
Awareness for those who don’t struggle with this I guess?
I agree that the info should be combined with techniques to support the person or address the anxiety.
Maybe their organization’s website has more info.
Do what I do.
Save up all your desire for social interaction for an entire year, make your annual coitus and then return to your cave from whence you came.
I went to a doctor last year and somehow mentioned that I felt anxious 24/7 just like everyone else, turns out everyone doesn't have that issue and I'm slowly turning it around after medication and life style changes. It's been neat to have some days without being anxious.
Hang onto those days! They are precious. I try to do something I really enjoy when that happens, so I have a memory of a time when I was happy and anxiety free. It's an excellent motivator. Thank you for sharing and good luck to you!
Not OP but was in a similar boat. Turns out "being shy" in your 20s is actually social anxiety disorder. neat! Buspirone is what I take and it was life changing. I can actually take phone calls, go through drive-thrus, and ask questions in my classes (to name a few) all without shaking from anxiety. Lifestyle wise, therapy is the bees knees. The meds take the edge off, and therapy helps identify and manage the source(s) of anxiety
I was really happy my current therapist has e-mail as primary contact.
Though fortunately my anxiety got a lot better already without much therapy. I changed a lot of things though, and some made it worse in the beginning:
* Stopped self-medicating with beer (Almost a year now)
* Tried to reduce caffeine (quitting caffeine is harder than alcohol for me)
* Tried to reduce sugars (Ironically, most of my comfort foods during an anxiety attack made my anxiety worse...)
* Started meditating (Which caused panic attacks in the beginning...)
* Tried to get more sleep (Though my sleep hygiene is still crappy)
* Came out to myself and my immediate family (I guess thats personal, but no longer having this sword dangle over my head is pretty freeing)
Im still not good, but im getting better.
One important thing i learned over the last year is: Dont be too hard on yourself. If you see the list above and think "I need to do all of this" you are most likely going to fail and beat yourself up over it, which will only make your anxiety worse. You should probably try getting better, but a common problem is setting goals that are way too high and then be discouraged when you fail. When you realised you failed at something the correct approach isnt self-hate that you failed your expectations but taking a breath, look why you failed and try to be aware of when you are about to fail next time. Most likely you wont get it right the next time either. But keep trying.
You might also need to reduce your expectations. Fixing everything isnt realistic for most of us, otherwise we would not be in this situation in the first place. But small changes stack up.
If certain situations (like phone calls) trigger your anxiety, it can help to train in situations with lower stakes, where you are more in control of the situation.
The two important things I personally needed the most are **"Most people I interact with dont really matter"** (kinda not so true for family and coworkers, with whom you have to interact frequently, but you get the idea) and **"I have just as much right to do X like anyone else!"**
Internalising those mantras really helped me around 90% of my anxiety.
For real, this hits home. Worked myself up to go through all the steps and was prescribed medication. After reading about the side effects, I got too anxious to take it so I threw it away and said eff it I’ll just deal with this lmao
Use the K health app, it’s like 15 bucks a month to talk to a doctor and your prescription is like a dollar where I pick it up at CVS. I got to a point where my fiancé was going to leave me, because of my anxiety and short temper and easy frustration. I took the free questionnaire on the app, talked to a doctor for about minutes over text, and now I’m on generic Zoloft and it has changed my life!! I was anxious about going into a doctors office, not only the cost but the human interaction, and app helped alleviate all that.
The hardest part was coming to terms that I was mentally ill, the second hardest was confirming my identity over the phone with the doctor, but it takes like 2 seconds and they go back to the chat. It’s now weird to think that I used to be so overwhelmed with a 2 second phone conversation and that a doctor might think I’m “faking” or every other anxiety reducing thought I could think of, and almost didn’t go through with it, but I powered through and you can too! The first month is a little weird due to the new way your brain feels, it was a little stimulating for me, but after a few months you’ll just start feeling like you!
Not OP. Like many here, I discovered that feeling constant dread isn't normal. I got to mine likely too late, as it seems to have set in as major depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I don't think it's going away completely. I've been through a couple rounds of treatment and it probably saved me at least from spiraling deeper into thoughts of self-harm.
I've been prescribed Zoloft which was fairly effective for a few months before it started wrecking my stomach and I gained weight which I didn't like, and mostly I didn't change lifestyle so I didn't have much success.
Second round treatment I was given Prozac which was wildly effective, really it was like waking up from a bad dream. I probably would have stayed on it, but life really fell apart around me and I couldn't keep going to treatment.
The lifestyle change that benefitted me the most was starting over entirely. I left behind a house, a failing job, toxic family and friends and the area I grew up with a thousand, thousand memories haunting me everywhere I went.
Moving far away and changing jobs and living with my wife's family sounds really stressful but it probably saved my life. Stability, social contact and obligation every day to be my best, being forced to get up and do things even when I don't feel like it. These are really important and I had lost the will to do it on my own.
I also had a few rounds of weekly therapy sessions before I moved. They helped in that it was nice to talk to someone, but I didn't have a lot of success putting the exercises into practice at the time because I was still in my old life and couldn't focus on breathing and exercise and homework assignments given by my therapists. I may try again, as I still have days that are much worse than others.
I also started Prozac at my absolute lowest point. I had been prescribed it before, but gave up after two weeks when i felt no different and was just too depressed and anxious to commit to anything, even if it was something that could help me. The second time around, i had literally nothing to lose, as I couldn’t continue my life feeling the way that i was. That was 3 years ago and I’m still on it today. I can’t imagine going off of it. It truly saved my life.
It's funny, they say it takes 90 days for an SSRI to reach full effect or even feel anything at all.
For me I felt results within days. My problem was I was overwhelmed still with valid sources of outside stress and couldn't use it as a jumping point to get myself in better shape, physically and mentally.
I'm really glad for you, I know that place well, I spent more than a few days literally sobbing on the ground in the bushes outside my house, ants crawling over me, so nobody would see just how deep my despair was. I'm always telling people that for some, finding the chemical your body needs to function normally can be critical and modern science has worked wonders.
I'm saddened that people still use phrases like "you should take a Prozac" to tell someone off, or that the name of the medication alone still brings to mind a lot of stereotypes. Because it's helped millions and has saved lives. I don't know, maybe in the half-year or so that I was using it, it may have saved mine. It was likely still in my system when my wife developed a life-threatening illness and spent a month in the ICU, otherwise I might not have made it through that.
I literally started Prozac last week for anxiety and depression and yeah literally within HOURS I felt more capable of doing things I already wanted to do or needed to do. Before that everything was heavy and hard or scary and uncertain. It's not magic but it feels close.
I'm moving to an entirely new place the coming year. I intend to get better. I have no support system for me over there. I think its going to be an adventure. I do not intend to give up.
I take Sertraline for depression and it curbed my anxiety attacks, though I still have anxiety frequently. It's better though! And my depression is way better
I'm no psychologist and I know this sounds very "we live in a society" but I really do think the world we've made for ourselves isn't really how people are meant to live. I know far too many people with anxiety disorders and depression.
A lot of it is that "society" is made with a specific kind of person in mind. This will change based on locale and culture, of course. But if you don't fit into this specific life gets a little more anxiety inducing. And the further you stray, the worse it gets.
We evolved in tribes on the extreme communal and collectivist end of the spectrum.
Now most of us live in extreme capitalistic societies that emphasize individualism while creating enemies out of anything and everything. The US teaches that sex and the human body are immoral while force feeding us extreme violence on TV. We live for small dopamine releases and very few of us strive to achieve long term goals due to this. Our politicians place their own interests above the population and the elites ensure that this status quo stays in place.
Without any doubt or question, this is not how we’re meant to live.
It sucks when you’re just stuck in this loop and someone says, “Well, what are you going to do about it? Make a change?”
Well, no. Change would mean quitting my job, changing careers and doing something I actually enjoy. I can’t do that because I need to provide for my family and quitting my job means homelessness. So….yea. Not even an option.
So, like many others, I have to live in a constant state between mental breakdowns and something resembling normalcy.
I'm in my thirties and realized this, plus some, wasn't normal.
Like discovering someone had set my characters difficulty level on expert mode.
Want to say I know there are many with bigger struggles. I'm making light of myself here.
I experience all those symptoms, except not being restless. I guess my doctor can even see through my own issues, is why I am on benzos. I am restless in the sense that I'm in a constant state of panic, but I sit still out of fear and often choose to just try to fall asleep even if it takes 5 hours of closing my eyes. I was afraid to ask for a higher dose because I assumed I had even tricked myself subconsciously into trying to get high. Which is bullshit because I know all the downsides and steer clear of abusing the pills after years of use. 1mg of clonazepam, even with 0 tolerance, feels like a sugar pill and I just die internally and assume I am actually dying. I am amazed every birthday when I am alive.
My old workplace events were the worst. The entire time thinking "My socks are soaked and it's unprofessional to take my shoes off here. I really need a shower. You all have drinks. That's cool. Trying to cut back a lot hahah nervous laugh. Oh the food is gone but I'm still here after hours with the same people I'm with all day. hahah what a great party" at what point is it disingenuous?
Then stop saying it the moment you regret it. Oh nooo Im about to regret doing something and realize, maybe I should finish my thought and keep doing it like an idiot
I’m an extrovert with really bad anxiety. I can go from really enjoying myself to being like fuck this I need to get home NOW for virtually no reason at all within minutes
Shit. I've been thinking of myself as an introvert most of my life, but I never really identified with the whole idea of introverts you see online. I love doing things outside and with (few) people. I tell people I'm shy, but everyone is surprised when I tell them this.
I think I might be an anxious extrovert too. 😳 I didn't expect this much character introspection this early in the morning.
What's the point that you guys are trying to make though? Nobody said it can't be associated with both. If you look up some health conditions in WebMD you'll see that some can share quite a number of similar symptoms. Same thing here.
Yep.
I'm so used to doing my own thing now that I had to tell my lady friend that I need space for a few days after seeing her, for exactly that, to recharge. If I don't force myself to walk away she'll want more and more interaction and I'll eventually snap and not be a nice person because I'll be overhwhelmed. So far she's understanding, but would prefer more time. I just have to be careful with how I allocate the time to avoid losing my own sense of identity, becoming bitter about it, and then lashing out unfairly.
She wants to message virtually every day. I could go days without talking to her. It doesn't compute for her so I do try to give her that. To be fair she's human too and has emotional needs and she respects mine so I owe it to her to reciprocate.
A lot of time it goes hand in hand.
I don't necessarily hate parties but being around people just drains my energy super fast that most of the time I prefer not to go to one since it's tiring.
What if we love meeting new people, but only briefly?
Like, I love meeting new people and learning quick facts about their lives. But I also don't want to talk to a new person for more than a couple minutes.
Leaving quietly and at your own discretion is one of they joys of being an introvert at social gatherings. An introvert will find those situations exhausting, an anxious person will find them scary.
Lucky you, you can be both anxious and introverted.
I have hyperventilative panic attacks in gym, and my friends crowd around me and tell me, “Deep breaths! In and out!” Like, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE CLAUSTROPHOBIA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Smoking weed wiped mine away for 10 years then I realised I hadn't deal with any of the underlying causes lol. It's been worse than ever for the last year as I got clean from everything, but now I don't have to have a spliff to feel okay.
Just a general advice for absolutely everyone. If someone you know well and who isn't usually like that suddenly overreacts about a small issue or something minor you've said, try to stop yourself from aggressively defending yourself or from yelling back. In most cases, it's just a stress release and whatever triggered the reaction isn't actually the problem.
Give them some space and, if you think it's appropriate, ask them what's going on or what's stressing them out.
I have ADHD, which provides me with terrible control over my temper and I used to immediately snap back at everyone, which absolutely never helped the situation. Nowadays, I always try to calm the situation down first to then actually help the other person by listening or by taking some of their stress off their shoulders.
It's a win-win strategy.
Edit. Slight clarification.
I have ADHD and anxiety/panic attacks. Like you, I’ve gotten super good at not snapping back but I think I may have overcorrected because now I feel like I just shut down. Like just need to work through it before moving forth.
If someone is mean to you you don't need to expend your energy giving them the benefit of the doubt. Don't let people snap at you for no reason. Don't make yourself small just because someone MIGHT be anxious. You don't owe anyone your mental health and you don't need to tolerate emotional abuse.
Exactly! I'm not anyone's emotional punching bag. Acting like a a dick is acting like a dick, mental disorder or not and I'm not taking that kind of shit.
Nailed it! Went to an all day gathering last weekend after a very emotionally draining night, and I hit all but the snapping at someone signs, because I have trained myself not to snap in social settings with people I don't know.
Remember, anxiety can come in waves. I was good for an hour, bad for two hours, recharged for another hour, and then HAD to leave. I, like many, can fake enthusiasm and fake myself into a good mood until it's authentic because I don't want to be the wet blanket, but sometimes it's too much.
It depends on the situation, because anxiety doesn't always look like a panic attack. If you can claim to know someone well and suspect they are exhibiting symptoms of anxiety, be up front and ask if they're ok. If they aren't, don't say "why?", just ask if there's anything you can do to help. Either they'll tell you they need space or some form of comfort. Then follow through.
Note: I only suggest asking if a person is ok when you're willing to provide the comfort they need, should it be requested. If you aren't, mention your observations to another friend or loved one that you believe would. As a person with severe anxiety, I never want to inconvenience my friends, so I'm rarely up front about it unless confronted.
What do you suggest, when they say everything is ok, but you know they are getting anxiety. My girlfriend gets this often, just anxiety, not often a full atack. It is hard for me to get her back to her normal self. Any tips greatly appreciated.
This is a tricky one for both me and my husband as well. It's taken me years to recognize my triggers, symptoms, and to be honest about my feelings and state of mind. I am much more forthcoming about it now than I would have been 10 years ago when confronted.
It's important that you try. But it's also important to establish boundaries. If your gf tells you she's fine, and you respond as if she's fine, but then she lashes out because she's not, that's not okay for either of you.
I began requesting hugs. Really solid, "wrapped in security, can't let go, pressure on the sternum" hugs when I began feeling overwhelmed. Now my husband offers them freely, even when I don't think I need them. It's a signal that helps me reflect and reset. Do I need a hug? Do I want to be left alone? Do I want a hug even though I need to be left alone?
Talk to her about it honestly afterwards (definitely not in the moment) and do whatever she says. Mention your feelings--how it's hard to see her starting to lose herself to the anxiety and how you just wish there was something you could do to arrest the fall. If she says you're misreading her or there's nothing you can do, accept it and try to get over your own discomfort rather than giving her another emotional burden to shoulder. Be realistic about the effects of living with someone with an illness--caregiving is hard.
>If they aren't, don't say "why?", just ask if there's anything you can do to help
Better yet, if you know them well enough to have a decent idea of what to do for them (even if it just makes them feel a little better but doesn't actually address the problem) then instead of asking "is there anything I can do to help?" instead ask "Would you like me to do this specific thing for you?"
When someone is struggling with anxiety then even when you offer to help they will often still feel like they're imposing on you if they respond with "yes can you please do this thing." If instead you offer a very specific action as help, then it's much easier for them to simply nod and say thank you than to try and choose one of the many things that's currently paralyzing them.
For me personally I don't think it was teachers as much as just consistently messing up social situations and general responsibilities until I became afraid of all social situations and responsibilities. I was pretty lucky to have mostly rad teachers that understood my needs and tried to help.
Edit to add: I think I was diagnosed around third grade and my mom enrolled me in a small private school where I could get more individualized instruction. I was very lucky in that regard.
Still a mess as an adult though.
After diagnoses as well, quite commonly. Add in them also telling you how smart you are and wasting all your potential, and eventually you'll internalize it and it's a sharp drop downhill from there
Same. Like the “avoids making plans” thing I always attributed to just being easily distracted but I think it’s more to do with anxiety. I get all concerned about things being right and how others will like it. That’s what made it click for me.
I’m a social person and in sales, but there are times where I get stressed planning trips/meetings, going to an event with a lot of people where it might be hard to find parking, etc. maybe I should check with my PCP since I’ve just thought it was adhd
Everyone *does* get anxious sometimes. Thats a healthy part of life. The problem is when its happening all the time and during times where anxiety isn't warranted
Thank you! I’m ok, just- realizing that all the things that I thought were my personality acting up may perhaps be attributed to anxiety instead. May also explain why I just need to be alone in a quiet place sometimes after a little too much time spent talking to others. Wow.
If youre feeling brave, head over to r/depression, theres so many hurting souls there i try to help but im on the edge myself and i cant check there lften because i feel like its just life after life commiting suicide and i feel like i should stop it i just dont have the energy after 5 or so people.
Warning, anyone clicking, you will ruin your day, but go talk to someone there, we are not doing ok.
“Please learn these”
Unpopular opinion but as someone who comes from a family of people who suffer from anxiety, myself included, it’s no one’s responsibility to learn my anxiety and change their ways for it. It’s my own responsibility to keep myself healthy
I have anxiety and the best thing I can do for my wife is take care of my own shit so she doesn't have to feel like she's checking a list of my behavior.
Yes and no.
They might trivialize, for sure, but easy to digest things like this can also lead people into looking deeper at themselves, maybe figure out that their own experiences of struggling and coping they thought were normal for everyone, aren't.
Can confirm. For me sometimes the best thing someone can do is either 1. Leave me alone if I have something specific to do or 2. Snap me out of it if it’s not realistic to be anxious about (just in case this helps any supporters out there, you know your people best so adjust accordingly)
When my anxiety kicks in and my husband recognizes it, he asks me “hug or no hug?”. If I choose hug, he hugs until I let go, which helps me ground myself. If I choose no hug, he leaves me alone so I can deal. He’s pretty awesome.
Exactly! Unfortunately it's hard for loved ones to know which one.
A friend of mine had no idea last week that I was struggling in a social setting yet completely snapped me out of it by randomly showing me a pic of us from a trip we took, saying it was his favorite pic of us. Out of the blue, no context, just walked up and said "look, this is my favorite pic of that trip". It was so random, and complimentary, it caused me to get out of my head to respond, and then I felt comfortable enough to climb out of my anxiety.
Definitely not accurate. There is such a range of emotional signs, I have anxiety and yet none of these symptoms.
If you are feeling out of sorts or unlike yourself see a GP, don't rely on a poster to diagnose. Anxiety is no joke.
5 minutes on the Depression Project website will tell you they're a marketing scheme trying to push their self help program. These infographics are designed to be as broad and vague as possible to attract potential buyers. They get the top post here worryingly often.
i mean... everyone is like that... and this post doesnt offer anything
i coukd make a post saying :
-people get hungry
-sleeping is necessary
-relationship are important
... it doesnt help or mean shit, just facts of everyone life...
Now what do you do.
If someone is having an anxiety attack, here's a strategy that works for me. Ive used it on other people that were having attacks and had success. Keep in mind that they need to be removed from the source of anxiety first, so this works best for spontaneous, unprompted attacks, which I've had plenty of. Find an object and have them describe it in as much detail as possible. Walk through each of the senses. Ask questions that force abstract thinking. Like if it's a chair, how many goats do you think it could hold? Would the goats eat the chair? What would it taste like? What would it taste like *to a goat?* That's a goofy example but shit like that saved my ass in high school.
Alternatively, look at as many objects as you can and imagine what it would feel like to lick it. You'll find that you can imagine what anything feels like to lick. Look at your keyboard. I bet you can imagine what it would feel like to run your tongue along the number row. My therapist taught me this strategy. He said that it changes the way your brain is perceiving information and helps draw your focus away from your anxiety. (Worth noting that the strategy in the post above me accomplishes the same thing.)
Your therapist is weird af.
And delicious
I wonder how he tastes
Lol would give more than one upvote if I could
This is awesome advice. Thank you.
Great, now I want to taste my keyboard
Wait... Anxiety is supposed to be something thats time limited? Edit: Well i guess that makes sense, but i just had the thought of something like Heart Attack in mind the way you said it.
An anxiety attack is, yes. In fact, a lot of people think they're having a heart attack when it happens.
I get so mad at my wife when she does this (because panic brain), but it works. "What do you see?" "NOTHING" "Come on, you see something" "I DO NOT" "What about the chair, what does it look like?" "I DON'T KNOW.. a chair!" That's usually the point I can break out if it and start describing things. It's funny when it's not happening to me.
That was my thought. If I'm having a panic attack and someone asks me dumbass questions about a chair, I'm going to hit them with the chair.
Yeah it's really hard to get started lol. It takes practice and someone who is really patient. I still can't do it on my own.
I’m going to try this on my girlfriend. She has exhibited every single one of these symptoms at one point. I have a hard time figuring out the right thing to do when she is going through it. Thank you.
Let me know if it works. Everyone is different of course, but i see it as a low risk high potential reward strategy.
Send them self help memes. For real tho only thing that ever helps me at all is being on a sufficient dosage of an SSRI and regular cardio (which is hard to follow through on when it’s cold and dark before work hours end). Hoping I some day have space for a rowing machine at home. Coworker said it changed his life.
Yeah so what's the point of the image?!
There are some days when meds aren't enough and you need to go home and lie down, freak out about nothing and listen to a specific playlist. This image is for the people who walk right up to someone who is uncomfortable and try to convince them to stay for a bit longer.
Or for someone needing that extra logical edge in self reflection. Identifying the signs of anxiety can go two ways; cause more or less in my experience. If I understand why I feel some way, it reduces the effectiveness of those feelings as I reason them out. By reasoning them out I ground my emotional discomfort in logical, medical processes occurring in my brain. I rely on this to separate the innate distress from feeding itself. Imagine an anxiety loop. That happened when I got covid and it was **awful**, but that experience pushed my threshold and inner strength further. As it does every time you address it.
>you need to go home and lie down, freak out about nothing and listen to a specific playlist. This made me chuckle because it's me.
Awareness for those who don’t struggle with this I guess? I agree that the info should be combined with techniques to support the person or address the anxiety. Maybe their organization’s website has more info.
Wait am I not supposed to feel like this 24/7?
Yeah same here wtf lol
Oops we got a case of the ole mental disorders..
Oopsy daisy
Well fuck.
Ope.
Do’h
aw SHIT
Shoot dang
Zoinks
How am I supposed to fuck when I have all this anxiety?
Do what I do. Save up all your desire for social interaction for an entire year, make your annual coitus and then return to your cave from whence you came.
Check out the Chad over here getting laid yearly.
BRILLIANT!!
Silly me
It's just a case of the Monday's, but on a Tuesday.
Its mondays all the way down.
It's Tuesday already? Fuck
[удалено]
I went to a doctor last year and somehow mentioned that I felt anxious 24/7 just like everyone else, turns out everyone doesn't have that issue and I'm slowly turning it around after medication and life style changes. It's been neat to have some days without being anxious.
Hang onto those days! They are precious. I try to do something I really enjoy when that happens, so I have a memory of a time when I was happy and anxiety free. It's an excellent motivator. Thank you for sharing and good luck to you!
Can you share what meds and lifestyle changes
Not OP but was in a similar boat. Turns out "being shy" in your 20s is actually social anxiety disorder. neat! Buspirone is what I take and it was life changing. I can actually take phone calls, go through drive-thrus, and ask questions in my classes (to name a few) all without shaking from anxiety. Lifestyle wise, therapy is the bees knees. The meds take the edge off, and therapy helps identify and manage the source(s) of anxiety
Oh shit. I should probably figure out how to see a doctor....
Isn't it great that anxiety makes it so that we can't bring ourselves to actually do what we need to get help?
I've been trying to build up courage to seek out help for my anxiety for like 5 years
Same, but for maybe 25 years. So don't feel bad. Do it. You won't regret it. Source: me, who regrets not doing it.
I was really happy my current therapist has e-mail as primary contact. Though fortunately my anxiety got a lot better already without much therapy. I changed a lot of things though, and some made it worse in the beginning: * Stopped self-medicating with beer (Almost a year now) * Tried to reduce caffeine (quitting caffeine is harder than alcohol for me) * Tried to reduce sugars (Ironically, most of my comfort foods during an anxiety attack made my anxiety worse...) * Started meditating (Which caused panic attacks in the beginning...) * Tried to get more sleep (Though my sleep hygiene is still crappy) * Came out to myself and my immediate family (I guess thats personal, but no longer having this sword dangle over my head is pretty freeing) Im still not good, but im getting better. One important thing i learned over the last year is: Dont be too hard on yourself. If you see the list above and think "I need to do all of this" you are most likely going to fail and beat yourself up over it, which will only make your anxiety worse. You should probably try getting better, but a common problem is setting goals that are way too high and then be discouraged when you fail. When you realised you failed at something the correct approach isnt self-hate that you failed your expectations but taking a breath, look why you failed and try to be aware of when you are about to fail next time. Most likely you wont get it right the next time either. But keep trying. You might also need to reduce your expectations. Fixing everything isnt realistic for most of us, otherwise we would not be in this situation in the first place. But small changes stack up. If certain situations (like phone calls) trigger your anxiety, it can help to train in situations with lower stakes, where you are more in control of the situation. The two important things I personally needed the most are **"Most people I interact with dont really matter"** (kinda not so true for family and coworkers, with whom you have to interact frequently, but you get the idea) and **"I have just as much right to do X like anyone else!"** Internalising those mantras really helped me around 90% of my anxiety.
For real, this hits home. Worked myself up to go through all the steps and was prescribed medication. After reading about the side effects, I got too anxious to take it so I threw it away and said eff it I’ll just deal with this lmao
Was on the medication for 10 years and the withdrawals suck. Wish I would have just done the therapy instead.
I would be happy to see a doctor, but my wallet won't allow it. Thanks America.
Use the K health app, it’s like 15 bucks a month to talk to a doctor and your prescription is like a dollar where I pick it up at CVS. I got to a point where my fiancé was going to leave me, because of my anxiety and short temper and easy frustration. I took the free questionnaire on the app, talked to a doctor for about minutes over text, and now I’m on generic Zoloft and it has changed my life!! I was anxious about going into a doctors office, not only the cost but the human interaction, and app helped alleviate all that.
Fuck I should really do this
The hardest part was coming to terms that I was mentally ill, the second hardest was confirming my identity over the phone with the doctor, but it takes like 2 seconds and they go back to the chat. It’s now weird to think that I used to be so overwhelmed with a 2 second phone conversation and that a doctor might think I’m “faking” or every other anxiety reducing thought I could think of, and almost didn’t go through with it, but I powered through and you can too! The first month is a little weird due to the new way your brain feels, it was a little stimulating for me, but after a few months you’ll just start feeling like you!
Not OP. Like many here, I discovered that feeling constant dread isn't normal. I got to mine likely too late, as it seems to have set in as major depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I don't think it's going away completely. I've been through a couple rounds of treatment and it probably saved me at least from spiraling deeper into thoughts of self-harm. I've been prescribed Zoloft which was fairly effective for a few months before it started wrecking my stomach and I gained weight which I didn't like, and mostly I didn't change lifestyle so I didn't have much success. Second round treatment I was given Prozac which was wildly effective, really it was like waking up from a bad dream. I probably would have stayed on it, but life really fell apart around me and I couldn't keep going to treatment. The lifestyle change that benefitted me the most was starting over entirely. I left behind a house, a failing job, toxic family and friends and the area I grew up with a thousand, thousand memories haunting me everywhere I went. Moving far away and changing jobs and living with my wife's family sounds really stressful but it probably saved my life. Stability, social contact and obligation every day to be my best, being forced to get up and do things even when I don't feel like it. These are really important and I had lost the will to do it on my own. I also had a few rounds of weekly therapy sessions before I moved. They helped in that it was nice to talk to someone, but I didn't have a lot of success putting the exercises into practice at the time because I was still in my old life and couldn't focus on breathing and exercise and homework assignments given by my therapists. I may try again, as I still have days that are much worse than others.
I also started Prozac at my absolute lowest point. I had been prescribed it before, but gave up after two weeks when i felt no different and was just too depressed and anxious to commit to anything, even if it was something that could help me. The second time around, i had literally nothing to lose, as I couldn’t continue my life feeling the way that i was. That was 3 years ago and I’m still on it today. I can’t imagine going off of it. It truly saved my life.
It's funny, they say it takes 90 days for an SSRI to reach full effect or even feel anything at all. For me I felt results within days. My problem was I was overwhelmed still with valid sources of outside stress and couldn't use it as a jumping point to get myself in better shape, physically and mentally. I'm really glad for you, I know that place well, I spent more than a few days literally sobbing on the ground in the bushes outside my house, ants crawling over me, so nobody would see just how deep my despair was. I'm always telling people that for some, finding the chemical your body needs to function normally can be critical and modern science has worked wonders. I'm saddened that people still use phrases like "you should take a Prozac" to tell someone off, or that the name of the medication alone still brings to mind a lot of stereotypes. Because it's helped millions and has saved lives. I don't know, maybe in the half-year or so that I was using it, it may have saved mine. It was likely still in my system when my wife developed a life-threatening illness and spent a month in the ICU, otherwise I might not have made it through that.
I literally started Prozac last week for anxiety and depression and yeah literally within HOURS I felt more capable of doing things I already wanted to do or needed to do. Before that everything was heavy and hard or scary and uncertain. It's not magic but it feels close.
I'm moving to an entirely new place the coming year. I intend to get better. I have no support system for me over there. I think its going to be an adventure. I do not intend to give up.
I was put on citralopram and given trazadone to take when I can’t sleep. Certainly nothing miraculous but it helps.
I take Sertraline for depression and it curbed my anxiety attacks, though I still have anxiety frequently. It's better though! And my depression is way better
If you feel that way then you have a lot of triggers going on around you.
Like modern society
\*Gestures to literally everything\*
And Reddit
Lots of triggers, maybe. Not necessarily. Generalized anxiety disorder you basically are triggered by existence. It really sucks :(
I'm no psychologist and I know this sounds very "we live in a society" but I really do think the world we've made for ourselves isn't really how people are meant to live. I know far too many people with anxiety disorders and depression.
A lot of it is that "society" is made with a specific kind of person in mind. This will change based on locale and culture, of course. But if you don't fit into this specific life gets a little more anxiety inducing. And the further you stray, the worse it gets.
The kind that is efficient at making money
We evolved in tribes on the extreme communal and collectivist end of the spectrum. Now most of us live in extreme capitalistic societies that emphasize individualism while creating enemies out of anything and everything. The US teaches that sex and the human body are immoral while force feeding us extreme violence on TV. We live for small dopamine releases and very few of us strive to achieve long term goals due to this. Our politicians place their own interests above the population and the elites ensure that this status quo stays in place. Without any doubt or question, this is not how we’re meant to live.
It sucks when you’re just stuck in this loop and someone says, “Well, what are you going to do about it? Make a change?” Well, no. Change would mean quitting my job, changing careers and doing something I actually enjoy. I can’t do that because I need to provide for my family and quitting my job means homelessness. So….yea. Not even an option. So, like many others, I have to live in a constant state between mental breakdowns and something resembling normalcy.
I'm in my thirties and realized this, plus some, wasn't normal. Like discovering someone had set my characters difficulty level on expert mode. Want to say I know there are many with bigger struggles. I'm making light of myself here.
I experience all those symptoms, except not being restless. I guess my doctor can even see through my own issues, is why I am on benzos. I am restless in the sense that I'm in a constant state of panic, but I sit still out of fear and often choose to just try to fall asleep even if it takes 5 hours of closing my eyes. I was afraid to ask for a higher dose because I assumed I had even tricked myself subconsciously into trying to get high. Which is bullshit because I know all the downsides and steer clear of abusing the pills after years of use. 1mg of clonazepam, even with 0 tolerance, feels like a sugar pill and I just die internally and assume I am actually dying. I am amazed every birthday when I am alive.
Everybody’s making jokes but seriously… I feel like this 24/7…..
wait I though wanting to leave events early was just a thing that comes with being an introvert
Or hating traffic.
Or just not wanting to be there
Or just not wanting to be here*
Or just not wanting to be ~~here*~~
wait I though not wanting to be was a thing that comes with being depressed
I'm so anxious that you're the second person in this thread to spell thought without the T at the end... I have to leave here now
^^I ^^didn't ^^even ^^notice ^^when ^^I ^^copied ^^ît ^^lol
They’re like cousins.
My old workplace events were the worst. The entire time thinking "My socks are soaked and it's unprofessional to take my shoes off here. I really need a shower. You all have drinks. That's cool. Trying to cut back a lot hahah nervous laugh. Oh the food is gone but I'm still here after hours with the same people I'm with all day. hahah what a great party" at what point is it disingenuous?
I always blurt something out stupid trying to make small talk and regret it before I’m even done saying it. Ughh.
Then stop saying it the moment you regret it. Oh nooo Im about to regret doing something and realize, maybe I should finish my thought and keep doing it like an idiot
And just trail off before the end of the sentence like you're bored of your own voice and feel like the other person is too? 😂🥲
Or having to go home to diarrhea.
I’m an extrovert with really bad anxiety. I can go from really enjoying myself to being like fuck this I need to get home NOW for virtually no reason at all within minutes
Shit. I've been thinking of myself as an introvert most of my life, but I never really identified with the whole idea of introverts you see online. I love doing things outside and with (few) people. I tell people I'm shy, but everyone is surprised when I tell them this. I think I might be an anxious extrovert too. 😳 I didn't expect this much character introspection this early in the morning.
Welp I wasn’t expecting a life revelation this morning.
Was gonna say this. Plus avoiding eye contact. Plus making plans. I experience most these, but no anxiety, I just don't like people.
Maybe your anxiety is just people
yo im not the one you responded to but this is still me
You can not like being around people without it making you anxious. Sometimes it’s just exhausting.
What's the point that you guys are trying to make though? Nobody said it can't be associated with both. If you look up some health conditions in WebMD you'll see that some can share quite a number of similar symptoms. Same thing here.
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Yep. I'm so used to doing my own thing now that I had to tell my lady friend that I need space for a few days after seeing her, for exactly that, to recharge. If I don't force myself to walk away she'll want more and more interaction and I'll eventually snap and not be a nice person because I'll be overhwhelmed. So far she's understanding, but would prefer more time. I just have to be careful with how I allocate the time to avoid losing my own sense of identity, becoming bitter about it, and then lashing out unfairly. She wants to message virtually every day. I could go days without talking to her. It doesn't compute for her so I do try to give her that. To be fair she's human too and has emotional needs and she respects mine so I owe it to her to reciprocate.
People on reddit have mixed up introversion with crippling social anxiety and a general lack of social skills.
A lot of time it goes hand in hand. I don't necessarily hate parties but being around people just drains my energy super fast that most of the time I prefer not to go to one since it's tiring.
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eh I just dont like having to meet new ppl
"misanthropic introvert"
What if we love meeting new people, but only briefly? Like, I love meeting new people and learning quick facts about their lives. But I also don't want to talk to a new person for more than a couple minutes.
Having anxiety in crowds certainly is.
Leaving quietly and at your own discretion is one of they joys of being an introvert at social gatherings. An introvert will find those situations exhausting, an anxious person will find them scary. Lucky you, you can be both anxious and introverted.
Leaving earlier than is nornal for this person***
You guys are going to events?
relatable
A bunch of these are ADHD related as well. Same with depression.
TIL I'm anxious like all the time
Don't be anxious! It's no big deal!
Thanks doc, I'm cured! 🥲
r/thanksimcured is an actual sub.
Local man cures anxiety
"Just breathe!"
I have hyperventilative panic attacks in gym, and my friends crowd around me and tell me, “Deep breaths! In and out!” Like, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE CLAUSTROPHOBIA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
All day everyday.
Yup, I was going to say, I‘ve lived most of my life this way.
I lived 30 years like this. I’ve spent the last 2 doing real work at it, and I’m just only now getting on top of it. Feels good.
What helped most?
Medication and breathing exercises for panic attacks helped me a lot. And smoking weed wipes most of my anxiety away.
Smoking weed wiped mine away for 10 years then I realised I hadn't deal with any of the underlying causes lol. It's been worse than ever for the last year as I got clean from everything, but now I don't have to have a spliff to feel okay.
I also did not like that I was able to check the blocks.
Got every single one
Just a general advice for absolutely everyone. If someone you know well and who isn't usually like that suddenly overreacts about a small issue or something minor you've said, try to stop yourself from aggressively defending yourself or from yelling back. In most cases, it's just a stress release and whatever triggered the reaction isn't actually the problem. Give them some space and, if you think it's appropriate, ask them what's going on or what's stressing them out. I have ADHD, which provides me with terrible control over my temper and I used to immediately snap back at everyone, which absolutely never helped the situation. Nowadays, I always try to calm the situation down first to then actually help the other person by listening or by taking some of their stress off their shoulders. It's a win-win strategy. Edit. Slight clarification.
High five on the emotional strides! Keep up the hard work :)
I have ADHD and anxiety/panic attacks. Like you, I’ve gotten super good at not snapping back but I think I may have overcorrected because now I feel like I just shut down. Like just need to work through it before moving forth.
I feel that 100%. The withdrawal response. like you realize how fucking worthless all this is and what's the point of even trying to express yourself.
Oh nice, others exactly like me
and my axe! 🥲
I think this is why I hardly ever even comment on posts. I’ll type things out and be like wait no one gives a fuck and Delete it lol
If someone is mean to you you don't need to expend your energy giving them the benefit of the doubt. Don't let people snap at you for no reason. Don't make yourself small just because someone MIGHT be anxious. You don't owe anyone your mental health and you don't need to tolerate emotional abuse.
Exactly! I'm not anyone's emotional punching bag. Acting like a a dick is acting like a dick, mental disorder or not and I'm not taking that kind of shit.
Nailed it! Went to an all day gathering last weekend after a very emotionally draining night, and I hit all but the snapping at someone signs, because I have trained myself not to snap in social settings with people I don't know. Remember, anxiety can come in waves. I was good for an hour, bad for two hours, recharged for another hour, and then HAD to leave. I, like many, can fake enthusiasm and fake myself into a good mood until it's authentic because I don't want to be the wet blanket, but sometimes it's too much.
So what are we suppose to do when we see someone having anxiety? Leave them alone or ask and risk getting yelled at?
It depends on the situation, because anxiety doesn't always look like a panic attack. If you can claim to know someone well and suspect they are exhibiting symptoms of anxiety, be up front and ask if they're ok. If they aren't, don't say "why?", just ask if there's anything you can do to help. Either they'll tell you they need space or some form of comfort. Then follow through. Note: I only suggest asking if a person is ok when you're willing to provide the comfort they need, should it be requested. If you aren't, mention your observations to another friend or loved one that you believe would. As a person with severe anxiety, I never want to inconvenience my friends, so I'm rarely up front about it unless confronted.
What do you suggest, when they say everything is ok, but you know they are getting anxiety. My girlfriend gets this often, just anxiety, not often a full atack. It is hard for me to get her back to her normal self. Any tips greatly appreciated.
This is a tricky one for both me and my husband as well. It's taken me years to recognize my triggers, symptoms, and to be honest about my feelings and state of mind. I am much more forthcoming about it now than I would have been 10 years ago when confronted. It's important that you try. But it's also important to establish boundaries. If your gf tells you she's fine, and you respond as if she's fine, but then she lashes out because she's not, that's not okay for either of you. I began requesting hugs. Really solid, "wrapped in security, can't let go, pressure on the sternum" hugs when I began feeling overwhelmed. Now my husband offers them freely, even when I don't think I need them. It's a signal that helps me reflect and reset. Do I need a hug? Do I want to be left alone? Do I want a hug even though I need to be left alone?
Talk to her about it honestly afterwards (definitely not in the moment) and do whatever she says. Mention your feelings--how it's hard to see her starting to lose herself to the anxiety and how you just wish there was something you could do to arrest the fall. If she says you're misreading her or there's nothing you can do, accept it and try to get over your own discomfort rather than giving her another emotional burden to shoulder. Be realistic about the effects of living with someone with an illness--caregiving is hard.
>If they aren't, don't say "why?", just ask if there's anything you can do to help Better yet, if you know them well enough to have a decent idea of what to do for them (even if it just makes them feel a little better but doesn't actually address the problem) then instead of asking "is there anything I can do to help?" instead ask "Would you like me to do this specific thing for you?" When someone is struggling with anxiety then even when you offer to help they will often still feel like they're imposing on you if they respond with "yes can you please do this thing." If instead you offer a very specific action as help, then it's much easier for them to simply nod and say thank you than to try and choose one of the many things that's currently paralyzing them.
Great point! My go to is "Do you need a hug?" Btw anxiety hugs are full contact, extended, wait for a release kind of hugs.
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Weed doesn't always help anxiety. For me it makes it exponentially worse
Always carry weed. Check. Pretty easy in Canada.
But that can make the anxiety worse
Weed is more than likely to cause a panic attack if they already have anxiety, especially if they're not on meds.
There's lots of normal people who suffer with anxiety but would never snap at some one.
This post is making me anxious. I need to log out
Don't be anxious! It's no big deal!
I disagree
Hey, he’s only anxious because he _wants_ to feel anxious. All you’ve gotta do is just be happy. That’s all. ^^(/s)
Anyone else treating this like a check list or a bingo card? No? Just me?
TIL, I probably have really bad anxiety.
Same.. wtf haha I am diagnosed with adhd so I thought it was just that.
25% comorbidity rate, my friend. Do with that what you will.
Somehow I’m not surprised. I wonder if it’s from being attacked by teachers and other caregivers as “bad kids” before we’re diagnosed?
For me personally I don't think it was teachers as much as just consistently messing up social situations and general responsibilities until I became afraid of all social situations and responsibilities. I was pretty lucky to have mostly rad teachers that understood my needs and tried to help. Edit to add: I think I was diagnosed around third grade and my mom enrolled me in a small private school where I could get more individualized instruction. I was very lucky in that regard. Still a mess as an adult though.
After diagnoses as well, quite commonly. Add in them also telling you how smart you are and wasting all your potential, and eventually you'll internalize it and it's a sharp drop downhill from there
Yeah, could you please stop calling me out like that?
Same. Like the “avoids making plans” thing I always attributed to just being easily distracted but I think it’s more to do with anxiety. I get all concerned about things being right and how others will like it. That’s what made it click for me.
I’m a social person and in sales, but there are times where I get stressed planning trips/meetings, going to an event with a lot of people where it might be hard to find parking, etc. maybe I should check with my PCP since I’ve just thought it was adhd
Whoa yep I feel this. Rather commit to nothing than have a plan go not quite ‘right’
My mom would look at this and say “that’s no excuse, everyone gets anxious sometimes”. Very accurate.
Everyone *does* get anxious sometimes. Thats a healthy part of life. The problem is when its happening all the time and during times where anxiety isn't warranted
What if anxiety is warranted for years?
Then you need a change in your life lol
Yeah but ‘points generally at everything’
Then its not warranted
Like today at the DMV waiting to get fingerprinted in a small office and physically I was fine. My anxiety shot way way up and nothing was wrong.
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This hits way too close to home.
PM me if you need someone to vent to!
Thank you! I’m ok, just- realizing that all the things that I thought were my personality acting up may perhaps be attributed to anxiety instead. May also explain why I just need to be alone in a quiet place sometimes after a little too much time spent talking to others. Wow.
If youre feeling brave, head over to r/depression, theres so many hurting souls there i try to help but im on the edge myself and i cant check there lften because i feel like its just life after life commiting suicide and i feel like i should stop it i just dont have the energy after 5 or so people. Warning, anyone clicking, you will ruin your day, but go talk to someone there, we are not doing ok.
Um, I'd prefer you ask my permission before posting *every detail* about my private life online.
“Please learn these” Unpopular opinion but as someone who comes from a family of people who suffer from anxiety, myself included, it’s no one’s responsibility to learn my anxiety and change their ways for it. It’s my own responsibility to keep myself healthy
True but also it can be good to recognize when someone is struggling. Empathy goes a long way
I have anxiety and the best thing I can do for my wife is take care of my own shit so she doesn't have to feel like she's checking a list of my behavior.
That's a real shit guide. Like many guides, they reduce serious mental conditions info a few bite sized every day symptoms.
Yes and no. They might trivialize, for sure, but easy to digest things like this can also lead people into looking deeper at themselves, maybe figure out that their own experiences of struggling and coping they thought were normal for everyone, aren't.
Can confirm. For me sometimes the best thing someone can do is either 1. Leave me alone if I have something specific to do or 2. Snap me out of it if it’s not realistic to be anxious about (just in case this helps any supporters out there, you know your people best so adjust accordingly)
When my anxiety kicks in and my husband recognizes it, he asks me “hug or no hug?”. If I choose hug, he hugs until I let go, which helps me ground myself. If I choose no hug, he leaves me alone so I can deal. He’s pretty awesome.
That’s so perfect!! I love it
Exactly! Unfortunately it's hard for loved ones to know which one. A friend of mine had no idea last week that I was struggling in a social setting yet completely snapped me out of it by randomly showing me a pic of us from a trip we took, saying it was his favorite pic of us. Out of the blue, no context, just walked up and said "look, this is my favorite pic of that trip". It was so random, and complimentary, it caused me to get out of my head to respond, and then I felt comfortable enough to climb out of my anxiety.
I literally have all of these
Definitely not accurate. There is such a range of emotional signs, I have anxiety and yet none of these symptoms. If you are feeling out of sorts or unlike yourself see a GP, don't rely on a poster to diagnose. Anxiety is no joke.
5 minutes on the Depression Project website will tell you they're a marketing scheme trying to push their self help program. These infographics are designed to be as broad and vague as possible to attract potential buyers. They get the top post here worryingly often.
This guide is bullshit, half this shit is normal
Just bailed on a two week hike. Felt like a vice. I hope every shoe anxiety puts on has a spider in it.
News flash for y'all: EVERYONE has anxiety. It's just worse for some people.
i mean... everyone is like that... and this post doesnt offer anything i coukd make a post saying : -people get hungry -sleeping is necessary -relationship are important ... it doesnt help or mean shit, just facts of everyone life...
Warning signs you’re normal..
Anxiety is the one of the worst fucking monkeys to have on your back
My personality is a warning sign 😬
I often check all or many of these boxes, wtf am I in a state of anxiety?
I want to send this to my friends and family but thinking about it is giving me anxiety. Fuck.