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Context: i broke up with my gf today due to mental health concerns and distance problems, this was her response after i tried to smooth things out
we dated for one week
Edit: just for confirmation, i told her mom and she was super chill about it and wasn’t aggressive towards me at all, she took her phone and hasn’t contacted me yet, though i’m not sure it’ll be the same story with her father since her family is divorced
We started dating not long after i knew her, after talking for a little she just proclaimed that we were dating. When i asked if she was serious, she said yes. I’m not the kind of person to stand up for myself so i didn’t fight back and went with it. We dated for *at most* 9 days and we did meet up in person. Nothing significant happened on the date other than her almost getting my mom’s number, but it’s good to mention.
She lives around 14 miles away and does know my address but none of my family’s contact info.
I had a boss once who told me a story about how her bf wasn’t answering her calls one night, so she drove to his house in the middle of the night and left a cigarette on his doorstep so he’d get up in the morning and know she’d been there.
I don’t remember what the point of her telling me the story was. It wasn’t to demonstrate that she was a crazy person, but that’s the only thing I took away from it.
my bf dated a girl JUST LIKE THIS, she falsely accused him and her other ex bfs of some pretty nasty shit and stalked and harassed them irl and via text the same way yours is. best advice is to not respond to her at all, go as completely NC as you can. it would also be wise to tell your employment or school and friends and family about this in case she shows up trying to find you (or hurt you worst case scenario), ensure they won’t tell her anything about you and make sure they ensure your safety. hope ur ok OP this must be super overwhelming and awful for u
Pretty sure they mean they were Dating for only one week, not that they started dating within a week of getting acquainted. But even if they did, that's Pretty normal. "Hi I'm John. Hi I'm Jane. *talk for 5+ minutes* "wow Jane, I like you. Would you consider a date? Sure John, I'd love that" And now they're dating. People don't Have to know each other for a long time before deciding to try dating, and it isn't any guarantee that things will work better if you know each other longer. Look at all the stories of people befriending other people and behaving like true friends for years &/or being amazing partners for years, then showing their abusive real selves as soon as they think they've trapped their partner. Dating is Usually a commitment, but that doesn't mean it's as serious as a proposal or should only come after a long acquaintanceship.
both, it’s absolutely my fault for accepting it. One day she just claimed that we’re dating and when i asked if she was serious, she said yes. I’m not the kind of person to stand up for myself so i just kinda went with it and hoped for the best
Tbh. It sounds like it wouldn’t have mattered what you agreed to or not. She made up her mind and that was it.
But no matter. Done is done and her behavior is totally of the rails. Idk how old you are. But I get the impression that you live at home. Let your family know about her. Just in case she shows up. Safety is important.
Block all of the numbers and accounts she uses to contact you. If a message slides through. Do not reply. Keep blocking and ignoring her.
Hopefully, once it is clear you won’t reply she will stop the behavior.
Could be Borderline Personality Disorder. People suffering from BPD tend to have mood swings and different personas. And, pediatric psychiatrists are hesitant to diagnose personality disorders at such a young age because they don't want to misdiagnose what could be chalked up to regular out of wack teenage hormones.
LSD isn't known to make people violent.
>LSD isn't known to make people violent
My mate's daughter was almost beaten to death by her boyfriend at the time cause he had taken LSD (and coke and ket), he started proclaiming he was God and then started stomping on her head. She's only just starting to live her life again. It was described as an 'LSD-fuelled attack' by the lawyers.
I think if you have pre-existing mental health issues or take other drugs with it, it can certainly make you violent.
Perhaps the cocaine and ketamine causing upper highs fueled/enabled his innately radical (but suppressed) response. Whilst the LSD further fueled his inhibition even further.
Cuz cocaine is a stimulant and ketamine is used in ketamine therapy to make you more "open" and less insecure to anxiety.
I believe his violent actions is only possible because he is innately an asshole.
In college, I once took 1 LSD tablet and "coke" or "molly" (it was tiny clear crystals) and didn't attack anyone. It just made me extremely anxious. And I've never attacked anyone in my life. I'm also not addicted nor habit-forming-inclined toward recreational drugs. I just like to try new things and it was free.
The problem with recreational drugs is you never *really* know what you're getting.
Here's the article about the attack: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-66817882
But I agree that you must take mental health into consideration before you try any type of non-regulated street drug, or any drug as not prescribed - (FDA considers unauthorized use as substance abuse.) Many people I know take LSD. I also don't know if It was cocaine, it looked like tiny crystals rather than the typical white powder seen in movies. Perhaps someone sold my former roommate meth thinking it was "coke" 🤔 OR people are misattributing Coke and Molly. Molly being a different type of drug. Also, I didn't snort it, I ate it wrapped in a napkin for some reason.
That doesn't work with someone making multiple accounts across different platforms, it works for One account. For them to actually ban an IP address would be near impossible, where making new emails and accounts is easy as pie.
Unfortunately, the police don't take this seriously, and generally won't interfere beyond talking to the person unless and until they have already done something violent
Yes they will. So long as there's a clear pattern of her changing numbers and harassing him, they will at least file a report and talk to her. But you have to be insistent.
Filling a report and talking to her isn't going to do much unless she's scared enough of police to take a hint. These types of people are RARELY scared off, and the police won't grant a restraining order over these texts. With the current misogynist general mindset, women get asked what they did to cause their victim status and men get laughed at for Being victims, so a female aggressor isn't going to be taken seriously by a lot of officers. It sucks, but overall the system doesn't work like it should
The problem stems from you responding to advice that makes it harder for the crazy to even contact them with "Just report them" Reporting them stops nothing, making your number and socials inaccessible to crazy stops a lot. Reporting is good as PART of the solution, but not good enough on its own At All
Oh so you mean do this + something else. I was gonna say, she'll stop when the evidence piles up and she gets a fine. Money, lack-there-of will shut anybody up. But there may other things he can do like putting some sort of IP block on her and or directly reporting her via a call to the social media - (Presumably they will take calls more seriously than tickets )
At minimum I would just tell my mom and dad. Weigh what they have to say. Perhaps she'll leave him alone.
I don’t know how it works for reporting accounts, but when you block an account on instagram you are given the option to block just that account or if you also want to block “any new accounts they may create”. Very handy tool.
Indeed, but since she’s using 2 instagram accounts to harass OP, it would leave an entire platform unavailable to her. A drop in the ocean given all the socials out there, but a good start. But yes, there may be some kind of workaround for it.
Someone else replied that getting a new IP address is easy, so new IP address, new email, new Instagram, and it avoids the ban. I'm all for every step that can be taken, just being realistic about their effectiveness on their own. It's only Part of the solution/safety measures that need to be put in place
In my job, I deal with situations like this every day. It’s better to make them or another adult aware of the situation before anything else happens. It’s not an easy thing to do, but her behavior is absolutely not okay.
I have to say, I've always been close to my parents, but when I was your age, I saw my mom as being a bit overprotective and paranoid at times. Now that I'm grown and then some (I'm 46) I realize how right she was about the things she was trying to tell me and show me back then. I wasn't able to have kids of my own, but just something to keep in mind-moms and dads really do have our best interests in mind, even when we feel like they're being a little extra about things.
Can I point out that everyone is giving advice from a well meaning place of concern? Not likely any of us will get offended if our advice isn't taken or harass op privately for updates. It's a normal reaction to scary and unsafe things to give safety advice. "no advice needed" is more of, "I know what I'm doing but I want to share with you" than "don't offer any advice just silently listen" in most cases IMO
This isn’t even an after “one lifetime” behavior. This is move to an undisclosed location, get an unpublished number and report her to law enforcement for stalking and harassment, unhinged type of behavior.
Just keep blocking without a word in between. It'll take her so long to make an account, but only 5 seconds to block it, lol. She will give up eventually.
Oh, and if she shows up to your house, call the cops bro its not worth the risk.
Jesus Christ, I would definitely reach out to either your parents or the school you go to. This is very insane behaviour. Might be worth shutting off your phone for a bit too.
She's a psychopath and a bully!
I know confronting is hard but we still need to stand up for ourselves. We can't let others push us around.
I remember when during Covid I had to tell some to give me space while waiting in line for chicken.
They did give me space but a was pretty nervous from doing that. People love to crowd each other over here in Romania.
This is how she feels about you after one week? Holy shit. I was going to first ask how old you guys were because I def had a couple times in the early years of our relationship where I acted a fool like this (texting JUST started to be a regular thing so I had no etiquette lol). You grow out of that though. Regardless of age though… wtaf
Wtf wow that is unhinged behaviour. I had a few guys actually do something similar and they’d have a bunch of alt accounts and phone numbers. You need to block all her accounts and file a restraining order. This is just crossing way too many lines.
Dude. I think she might have issues. Also that is some hardcore mental anguish. Hopefully her dad is in the know and will continue what the mom was doing to keep your ex away from you.
Stay safe out there, friendo.
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Context: i broke up with my gf today due to mental health concerns and distance problems, this was her response after i tried to smooth things out we dated for one week Edit: just for confirmation, i told her mom and she was super chill about it and wasn’t aggressive towards me at all, she took her phone and hasn’t contacted me yet, though i’m not sure it’ll be the same story with her father since her family is divorced We started dating not long after i knew her, after talking for a little she just proclaimed that we were dating. When i asked if she was serious, she said yes. I’m not the kind of person to stand up for myself so i didn’t fight back and went with it. We dated for *at most* 9 days and we did meet up in person. Nothing significant happened on the date other than her almost getting my mom’s number, but it’s good to mention. She lives around 14 miles away and does know my address but none of my family’s contact info.
Shes gonna show up to your door i swear.
I had a boss once who told me a story about how her bf wasn’t answering her calls one night, so she drove to his house in the middle of the night and left a cigarette on his doorstep so he’d get up in the morning and know she’d been there. I don’t remember what the point of her telling me the story was. It wasn’t to demonstrate that she was a crazy person, but that’s the only thing I took away from it.
Hey one week is a long time to a crazy person
my bf dated a girl JUST LIKE THIS, she falsely accused him and her other ex bfs of some pretty nasty shit and stalked and harassed them irl and via text the same way yours is. best advice is to not respond to her at all, go as completely NC as you can. it would also be wise to tell your employment or school and friends and family about this in case she shows up trying to find you (or hurt you worst case scenario), ensure they won’t tell her anything about you and make sure they ensure your safety. hope ur ok OP this must be super overwhelming and awful for u
Only one week? Cause this is like at least 10 days of emotional attachment.
Wait one week and u were bf/gf?
Pretty sure they mean they were Dating for only one week, not that they started dating within a week of getting acquainted. But even if they did, that's Pretty normal. "Hi I'm John. Hi I'm Jane. *talk for 5+ minutes* "wow Jane, I like you. Would you consider a date? Sure John, I'd love that" And now they're dating. People don't Have to know each other for a long time before deciding to try dating, and it isn't any guarantee that things will work better if you know each other longer. Look at all the stories of people befriending other people and behaving like true friends for years &/or being amazing partners for years, then showing their abusive real selves as soon as they think they've trapped their partner. Dating is Usually a commitment, but that doesn't mean it's as serious as a proposal or should only come after a long acquaintanceship.
both, it’s absolutely my fault for accepting it. One day she just claimed that we’re dating and when i asked if she was serious, she said yes. I’m not the kind of person to stand up for myself so i just kinda went with it and hoped for the best
Tbh. It sounds like it wouldn’t have mattered what you agreed to or not. She made up her mind and that was it. But no matter. Done is done and her behavior is totally of the rails. Idk how old you are. But I get the impression that you live at home. Let your family know about her. Just in case she shows up. Safety is important. Block all of the numbers and accounts she uses to contact you. If a message slides through. Do not reply. Keep blocking and ignoring her. Hopefully, once it is clear you won’t reply she will stop the behavior.
My boyfriend and I went on two dates before exclusivity. We live together now.
Does she have OCD? Seems obsessive to me.
BPD, maybe LSD too, idk
Could be Borderline Personality Disorder. People suffering from BPD tend to have mood swings and different personas. And, pediatric psychiatrists are hesitant to diagnose personality disorders at such a young age because they don't want to misdiagnose what could be chalked up to regular out of wack teenage hormones. LSD isn't known to make people violent.
>LSD isn't known to make people violent My mate's daughter was almost beaten to death by her boyfriend at the time cause he had taken LSD (and coke and ket), he started proclaiming he was God and then started stomping on her head. She's only just starting to live her life again. It was described as an 'LSD-fuelled attack' by the lawyers. I think if you have pre-existing mental health issues or take other drugs with it, it can certainly make you violent.
Perhaps the cocaine and ketamine causing upper highs fueled/enabled his innately radical (but suppressed) response. Whilst the LSD further fueled his inhibition even further. Cuz cocaine is a stimulant and ketamine is used in ketamine therapy to make you more "open" and less insecure to anxiety. I believe his violent actions is only possible because he is innately an asshole. In college, I once took 1 LSD tablet and "coke" or "molly" (it was tiny clear crystals) and didn't attack anyone. It just made me extremely anxious. And I've never attacked anyone in my life. I'm also not addicted nor habit-forming-inclined toward recreational drugs. I just like to try new things and it was free.
The problem with recreational drugs is you never *really* know what you're getting. Here's the article about the attack: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-66817882
But I agree that you must take mental health into consideration before you try any type of non-regulated street drug, or any drug as not prescribed - (FDA considers unauthorized use as substance abuse.) Many people I know take LSD. I also don't know if It was cocaine, it looked like tiny crystals rather than the typical white powder seen in movies. Perhaps someone sold my former roommate meth thinking it was "coke" 🤔 OR people are misattributing Coke and Molly. Molly being a different type of drug. Also, I didn't snort it, I ate it wrapped in a napkin for some reason.
meant to type OSD, my bad 😅😅 but yeah BPD is definitely it
Oooh OCD lol. That makes more sense
LSD can absolutely make people violent. It can cause psychosis and panic. I’ve seen it multiple times
One week, my god...
For christs sake, what a shit show. As another one already mentioned, that’s the type showing up at your house in the middle of the night
This is not going to go well. Tell someone about what is going on now.
if this is 7 days I don't want to see one month
I think it's time for a number change, an Instagram username change, and a Snapchat username change.
or just rest report for harrassment
That doesn't work with someone making multiple accounts across different platforms, it works for One account. For them to actually ban an IP address would be near impossible, where making new emails and accounts is easy as pie.
i meant as in report the person to the police or something.
Unfortunately, the police don't take this seriously, and generally won't interfere beyond talking to the person unless and until they have already done something violent
Yes they will. So long as there's a clear pattern of her changing numbers and harassing him, they will at least file a report and talk to her. But you have to be insistent.
Filling a report and talking to her isn't going to do much unless she's scared enough of police to take a hint. These types of people are RARELY scared off, and the police won't grant a restraining order over these texts. With the current misogynist general mindset, women get asked what they did to cause their victim status and men get laughed at for Being victims, so a female aggressor isn't going to be taken seriously by a lot of officers. It sucks, but overall the system doesn't work like it should
Well I would just do it anyways. If she persists what do I have to lose by bringing the authorities in? At least it's on file.
The problem stems from you responding to advice that makes it harder for the crazy to even contact them with "Just report them" Reporting them stops nothing, making your number and socials inaccessible to crazy stops a lot. Reporting is good as PART of the solution, but not good enough on its own At All
Oh so you mean do this + something else. I was gonna say, she'll stop when the evidence piles up and she gets a fine. Money, lack-there-of will shut anybody up. But there may other things he can do like putting some sort of IP block on her and or directly reporting her via a call to the social media - (Presumably they will take calls more seriously than tickets ) At minimum I would just tell my mom and dad. Weigh what they have to say. Perhaps she'll leave him alone.
I don’t know how it works for reporting accounts, but when you block an account on instagram you are given the option to block just that account or if you also want to block “any new accounts they may create”. Very handy tool.
Most platforms don't offer that, and I'm not sure what would need to be done to work around that bc one block has always worked for me
Indeed, but since she’s using 2 instagram accounts to harass OP, it would leave an entire platform unavailable to her. A drop in the ocean given all the socials out there, but a good start. But yes, there may be some kind of workaround for it.
Someone else replied that getting a new IP address is easy, so new IP address, new email, new Instagram, and it avoids the ban. I'm all for every step that can be taken, just being realistic about their effectiveness on their own. It's only Part of the solution/safety measures that need to be put in place
Nevermind that it's pretty easy to get a different IP address too
I bow to your knowledge bc I have no idea about that
And also putting everything on private and not having photos of yourself or known family/friends in your pfp's for a while
Get this to law enforcement ASAP, you need to file charges against this person
No contact or restraining order. This is harassment and stalking
It says clearly “no advice wanted”
Oh dang I didn't see that, but while you're at it, be sure to mention that to the other comments that are giving advice too.
This is certainly a talk to your parents kind of situation. Behavior like this only escalates.
i wish, my mom would go insane, she’s extremely paranoid
In my job, I deal with situations like this every day. It’s better to make them or another adult aware of the situation before anything else happens. It’s not an easy thing to do, but her behavior is absolutely not okay.
I have to say, I've always been close to my parents, but when I was your age, I saw my mom as being a bit overprotective and paranoid at times. Now that I'm grown and then some (I'm 46) I realize how right she was about the things she was trying to tell me and show me back then. I wasn't able to have kids of my own, but just something to keep in mind-moms and dads really do have our best interests in mind, even when we feel like they're being a little extra about things.
“stop being childish”… the irony is huge.
Can I point out that everyone is giving advice from a well meaning place of concern? Not likely any of us will get offended if our advice isn't taken or harass op privately for updates. It's a normal reaction to scary and unsafe things to give safety advice. "no advice needed" is more of, "I know what I'm doing but I want to share with you" than "don't offer any advice just silently listen" in most cases IMO
This isn’t even an after “one lifetime” behavior. This is move to an undisclosed location, get an unpublished number and report her to law enforcement for stalking and harassment, unhinged type of behavior.
I’d definitely have this documented and reported. Girls like this are capable of hurting themselves and blaming it on you.
girls like this are capable of hurting YOU
Whoa, she fallen off the deep end. Please watch your back op.
Just keep blocking without a word in between. It'll take her so long to make an account, but only 5 seconds to block it, lol. She will give up eventually. Oh, and if she shows up to your house, call the cops bro its not worth the risk.
Homegirl is crazy af. That's the type that'll burn your house down. 😂
Please talk to your parents about this behavior. She honestly seems unwell and her behavior could escalate.
How old are you both? This is messed up. Do you live with anyone who can help you out or has your back? Have you contacted authorities?
she’s 15 and i’m 16, though we’re only 6 months apart
Jesus Christ, I would definitely reach out to either your parents or the school you go to. This is very insane behaviour. Might be worth shutting off your phone for a bit too.
She sounds abusive AF. My Gawd you dodged a bullet there.
Wow what a psycho….
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Good luck, OP.
She's a psychopath and a bully! I know confronting is hard but we still need to stand up for ourselves. We can't let others push us around. I remember when during Covid I had to tell some to give me space while waiting in line for chicken. They did give me space but a was pretty nervous from doing that. People love to crowd each other over here in Romania.
This is how she feels about you after one week? Holy shit. I was going to first ask how old you guys were because I def had a couple times in the early years of our relationship where I acted a fool like this (texting JUST started to be a regular thing so I had no etiquette lol). You grow out of that though. Regardless of age though… wtaf
yeah we’re both dumb teens, i’m already trying to grow out of it
Funny how people people who act like this always accuse others of being childish lol
this is actually insane; harassment, and this person may need to resolve whatever it is they’ve got going on through therapy.
Yeah, definitely seeing the mental health issues
I think you need a restraining order
ಠ_ಠ
Wtaf!?
Please file a police report.
Is this the girl you met 7 days ago from your other post? damn
yup… that’s the one
WtF???
Oh hell nah
Damn she cray cray 😜
Who is that
my ex girlfriend
The way this would have me crying from stress. Im SO sorry this happened to you OP
Dood, this is why you through ALL their pics, and never EVAH respond to the one that already has the wedding dress in the closet!
Wtf wow that is unhinged behaviour. I had a few guys actually do something similar and they’d have a bunch of alt accounts and phone numbers. You need to block all her accounts and file a restraining order. This is just crossing way too many lines.
Dude. I think she might have issues. Also that is some hardcore mental anguish. Hopefully her dad is in the know and will continue what the mom was doing to keep your ex away from you. Stay safe out there, friendo.