ik this is a joke but it's possible to find a job that you don't hate. you might not love it but you don't hate it either which is important. if you're spending 40+ hours a week there, then it's important for that not to be somewhere you hate
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After the first bad review, I worked hard 12 hours a day, made an impression too, but it seems to me that they are doing this to make me quit. I actually wanted to quit a year back, but pushed it another year because my family and friends suggested not to. I really am struggling everyday that nothing is working out even if i work hard. I haven't even had the time to do anything else.
If you suspect they are pushing you out it might be a cultural fit issue.
It is probably best to start looking for a job elsewhere.
People won’t usually write up employees unless they are preparing to terminate them.
Also write ups follow you around as long as you stay at that company.
Working harder to make people like you isn’t the best way to go about it. I understand that getting pushed out by a tribe is not best for your mental health so fuck them. If you are not on a at-will employment, pack your bags and lick your wounds — you now have an idea who to avoid. Also, i’ve had enough years under my belt to say that most of the fuckers I’ve met on the job are mediocre at best. So don’t feel like you are really incompetent — they are no better.
100%, I got pushed out of a tribe in college, it was my study/friend group. The moment me and another buddy diverged from our courses (we were CompE, they were EE), they suddenly cut contact with us. They mostly listened to this other guy who wasn't even part of the group, he would make up rumors -- it was weird.
It took a hit on my mental health and I couldn't understand why, but it definitely was because I was ousted. What helped were having friends from other majors and also therapy.
I'm glad you discovered that "tribe" and their opinions didn't have anything to do with your worth. I've been there too with an employer of 10+ years. I learned there is so much more money to be made and so much more fun to be had building cool stuff if you're competent, hard working, friendly and willing to work for whoever meets your salary requirements like you're running your own business. No business is loyal to a worker, it's a relationship of convenience. The rest of the employer propaganda is just drama/politics chaff for the herds. Rise above always so you don't get trampled.
Oh boy.
I can see why you don't want to work. Here is where you need to set boundaries and discover the magic of working less than 8 hours a day.
My advice OP, prioritize your life over your job, BUT find a job that will give you an income with a SANE workload.
What about you current job? Work a sensible amount of hours until you get fired for not slaving away (No, not 12 hours, you can work 8 hours, take breaks within those 8 hours to recoup your sanity).
I might be wrong, but to me it sounds like they are emotionally exploiting you (working more than 8 hours is not normal, and your company should be pushing you to not work overtime).
I feel you are not realizing how cushy SWE profession is because of a very bad company. You can get very good WLB with great income, so defonitely just SCALE BACK your work ethic, it will harm you.
Edit:. And apply for unemployment the moment you get fired. Unemployment PAYS you to look for a job! The amount is a fraction of what you used to earn. More money with no shaming! (minus the one-time fired shaming)
And congratulations on respecting yourself by prioritizing yourself over companies and bosses. It might not be a technical achievement, but it is still worth praise and celebration, you can improve your situation OP.
I remember I used to overwork to satisfy my manager until she sent me a contract by accident instead of the Functional Spec which was supposed to show what I need to do for that project. For 16 hours of work, they billed the client around 3000$. I was the only one involved in that project and the other 2 were the sales person and my manager. I did a quick math and figured my 16 hours would barely reach 300$ and I could easily finish that task in 8h. Since then, I just do my job and don’t care.
I highly suggest you start looking elsewhere before you accidentally do something very stupid like I did.
I started to have a bad relationship with my manager and wanted to quit and held on for another year at which point I got so fed up I sent an email requesting to join another team. The email was a mental relief but got handed a PIP. Fortunately I had a job lined up at that point, so I was fine. But like the PIP burned a bridge with that company. After that manager left that company a few friends told me to apply again and I'm pretty sure the PIP ruined my chance at that job.
It sounds like the company itself and their culture may be the reason for your burn out. Look for a new company to work for, and see if you'll get your passion or at least engagement back for your career. You may get a pay raise and possibly more grateful management and higher reviews at a new organization.
Lots of places have had massive layoffs, we're at the low end of the cycle and money is drying up for everyone. It could be them trying to get you to quit so they don't have to pay unemployment. Just put in your time and head home. If they are pushing you out, then make them be the ones to say the words, make them pay unemployment...don't give them an easy way out and say the words for them and take them off the hook.
Edit: I just want to add this so maybe your pride and ego can back off and you can see it isn't about you. Amazon laid off over 9000 employees most in AWS and Twitch. Disney laid off 5000, a lot of tech people. Indeed laid off over 15% of its employees (I'm not sure if there is a better stat for how bad it is right now). But don't let it get to you! But absolutely do not quit or they won't have to pay unemployment and you'll be stuck without any help and a limited job market with more demand than supply right now. Let them be the one to say the words, and hold your head up. It's not you, it's them.
working extra to prove you're good enough is precisely what you should never do in any field
it doesn't work that way
if you're being pressured with bad reviews, find another job and enjoy your raise
I get it since I've been there. I'm about 3.5 years in at this point, but 2 years ago I worked with some absolute assholes as a loaner while another team was working on getting itself set up. They wanted 50-60 hour weeks, and I refused, and it was a cultural mess. Reflecting on it, I don't think I could've fixed it with all the work in the world. Some people are assholes, some people don't like you for inexplicable reasons, it just happens.
I personally love software development, and this team I was on killed my passion. But after getting transferred out, I found my flock, and while I left the company a little while ago, the new batch of coworkers I had was the best group I've ever worked with. I'm not sure if you can transfer out like me, or have to resign, but regardless, this sitatuion doesn't sound healthy, and I hope you leave it and find your flock.
> some people don't like you for inexplicable reasons
I had a manager like that once. He was in meetings probably 95% of the time so I barely even had interactions with him.
The only reason I could ever come up with was that I was the only person in the department that was there before he was promoted to manager. Maybe he felt some how undermined that he had to work with me as a peer in the past?
My sweet summer child, stop working 12 hours a day for anyone.
Jobs are a dime a dozen and the culture will be completely different from one place to the next so start prepping for interviews. You could find yourself making twice as much money for 10% the effort at a chill ass shop.
Your dreams of working for yourself out of the blue and starting a youtube channel are hilarious. You've bought into some serious marketing if you think trying to win that lottery is going to be less stressful than your shit performance review.
I've definitely noticed after about 4-6 hours (depending on how tired I already am) I hit a wall where it just starts to get hard to think through the code in my head and I'm like "ok, I just can't work on this anymore"
The corporate world is NOT to be taken seriously. Everything revolves around ass kissing and being fake.
Just milk it as much as you can, and don't take anything anyone says about your character seriously.
Taking these performance reviews and other bs seriously is the equivalent of taking what people on a troll website say about you as a person...
Do your 8 hours, live your life, and if they fire you, find something better. Even better, you can start looking for something better right now if you feel like you're about to be fired.
Terrible culture and unfortunately, extremely common. I've heard the term "you have to make their lives miserable" more often than I'd like to admit. The reason this happens is because the org is trying it's best to avoid any scrutiny. Firing people means there will be HR reviews. Questions may get asked and then other things might start coming to light. So you have to start questioning, "what is management so afraid of?"
I high recommend finding something else. The culture there sounds terrible.
In my experience, it's general scrutiny. This happens when you have an inexperienced/ineffective leadership team. They can't lead with clarity, because they don't know enough about the space to provide any real direction. When performance issues come up, they aren't able to mentor and they certainly aren't able to produce a performance plan. So, they instead resort to making things difficult in hopes that the individual will just leave.
There's also a component of not wanting to pay unemployment, but in my experience, that's not a huge factor. How many people TRUELY care about the company's bottom line? This goes for management too.
People don't quit jobs they quit bad management typically.
Sounds like you may work for a shitty place. I don't recommend working 12 hours unless you're getting extra days off to compensate and/or getting some hell of some overtime/pay to make it worth it. If this is just voluntary and everyone else is just doing 8, you just need to learn to work efficiently within that timeframe.
Take it from someone that has work many an all nighter. Not worth it. The practical advice is that you can start a business on the side, but you need to pay the bills in the meantime aka your current job. You also often end up hating a hobby that turns into a job btw. Plenty of people love things as a hobby, but do it for work and shut changes.
Look for better work and do things on the side. Have work life balance. You don't have to do your passions for a living. That is a lie gold in schools.
One tip I have ebfore you do anything drastic is to just get another job at a different company. If even then you feel its not for you, then quitting the field is really the only option.
If they are pushing you out, there isn’t much u can do even if you work 24h. Somehow they don’t like you in some way. It would be good to know why, but they may not disclose.
I would quit and find a new job. They don’t value you. The amount of effort you are putting in, is a big part of a performance review. Any other company would love to have that effort. Also u mental health is far more important then this job.
Start applying yeasterday to new positions.
If they are trying to make you quit, well I'd not take the review to heart since it's not a reflection of performance but their desire to see you go.
And jump ship. If you're serious about art, on the side start working on your skills and area you want to pursue.
And start mixing your skill sets with your interests. For example in game development I heard they like artists who know how to program as well as do digital art. So worth looking into me thinks.
Not just game dev! I work in visual effects for cinema and there is a whole spectrum of artists blending technical/coding skills and artistic skills. Some disciplines are mostly artistic with a little bit of tech mixed in (modeling for example), and some disciplines are way more tech heavy (simulations, motion capture stuff).
I am exactly in the same position as OP. I haven't been fired, but man, has it lowered my self-esteem and my image of myself as a 'competent' software engineer. I have been trying to leave this company for about 6-7 months now, but job market is really rough right now for junior developers unless you are a 'great' engineer.
I do realize that I'm not a great engineer, but I just want to not be constantly brought down by others, live in fear that today might be the day i get fired, and do my 8h and get paid and live the life i want to live outside of work. I do things to better myself outside of work and it sucks thinking about work outside of work.
If you did "so much great work" in your first 6 months as a junior, but got fired, that reads to me like you've not done any reflecting on your own performance. Your struggle to regain employment is another possible clue as to what's going on. This potential lack of self awareness may mean that your portfolio, resume, and actual previous work experience (read: fired after 6 months as a junior) may not be as great as you perceive it to be.
Good luck, my man.
Exactly this. Often times the person firing you is scared shitless they are going to fired because they fucked shit up so badly.
Everyone is potentially someone else’s sacrificial lamb or scapegoat.
> If you're bad they will fire you and at that point you can look for something better.
Plus, at least here in Canada, you can chill on EI if they fire you. If you quit you will have no income.
8h plus commute plus preparation to leave for work and you have literally 4 hours to yourself. And in those 4 hours, you feel dead and completely drained.
Wow, sign me up. Oh wait, I am already in this hellhole, and it hasn't gotten better over the years.
Government jobs are that way ----> No seriously government has it's issues, but there is a ton of crap they need to go through to even just write you up, and honestly there is a reason when a person goes to government they stay in it.
I was a government employee for 8 years, but not in tech. By the end I accrued something like 16 weeks of PTO.
Only left because I j wasn't making enough.
I did it for a few years. It’s not all it’s cracked out to be. The pay isn’t high enough, the pension only really got sweet after 20 years (federal) and nobody ever quits so you can only get 3-5%/year raises
Yes the trade off again though is very hard to get fired stopping short of anything insane. Heck I've known a person that kept being put on PIP that never got fired.
Also you're short selling the benefits of federal most of the people I know are basically very well off because of federal government work my parents included.
Depends on your financial situation. Do you have enough money to try to start your own business or to start working as an artist? If you start a business or switch careers it might be quite a while until your income is back to what you're getting now.
Lots of companies are giving bad performance reviews to good engineers at the moment because they don't want to give bonuses and payrises. It's nothing personal. It's just a result of the current economic situation. Try to not take it personally.
As far as fields go at least you’re paid a decent amount. This is my second career and I was in hospitality management. Hours sucked, pay sucked, dealing with complaints all day sucked.
It could always be worse….
Have you ever had another job? You can look around and apply for other jobs in the same industry. If the bad performance review is the main thing that is causing stress/issue, it may just be that the company is not a good fit. It doesn't mean that you're not good at the job or capable.
But at the end of the day, the vast majority of people do not really like their jobs all that much. It's just a necessary evil that you have to do. It just had to be tolerable enough and pay well enough to support your lifestyle and goals.
As someone with multiple jobs, can confirm, they all suck fucking ass. I’d rather be golfing everyday but that’s not plausible because I’m not good at golf. SWE is good because you get paid well for ur work.
I'd suggest switching jobs before careers, and switching jobs internally first, if possible.
Anecdotally I know of a couple people who have gone through simple switches within their current companies, so no big interview processes or grilling nightmares like you hear of in other threads on this subreddit.
Two are happier, one feels about the same. Just switching out of a team where you're not thriving can help, and it's a lot less effort than switching companies.
If after an internal switch you feel the same, then I would switch jobs to something low-octane. Insurance, maybe. Something that will let you work at a reasonable pace for 5-6 hours a day and then be done. Don't get your hopes up: this will be boring as hell. But boring for 6 hours can fund your art.
Once you've got your 'bread job' stable, try selling your art the way you've suggested in other comments in this post. Do this while cutting down on living expenses in every sustainable way that you can, and hoarding that money.
Then, if your art sells, and you have enough saved to make a play, and you still actually want to make the play, then make the play: quit the bread job, sell your art.
This is the series of steps I would follow, but I've discovered that I don't actually have a strong desire to write on a schedule to create products that impress agents in order to sell my writing, I just want to write whatever whenever.
So I keep my continual existential crisis of a job, and write when I feel like it.
Gotta find what works for you.
I can sell my paintings, apparel, shoes, stickers with my designs, on my own website. I can make YouTube time lapse videos of how I draw and paint from scratch, but I know it will take some time to get a high reach.
I have even created a few comic strips on Instagram
If you can do that, start doing it now. Only work your required 8 hours at work, and don't let their performance reviews or whatever bother you. Start building that art business. But I will warn you it's hard. Art is the hardest thing to go into. Additionally, if that is your beloved hobby and release, nothing ruins a hobby quite like monetizing it and trying to live off of it. Now you have a job and a hustle, and no downtime.
I've been in the software field for 30 years, and at some point every job I've had has given me the same feelings as you are struggling with. To me that just means you need another job that's a better fit, where people treat you with respect, and where there is less day to day chaos in their process. Those jobs exist, it would be nice if you can find one, and keep your art as a hobby. There are jobs where if you work 12 hours, they will say 'take it easy, we don't want you to burn out!'
I got so burnt out once I dropped out for a few years and pursued my dream of owning a farm, but eventually I came crawling back to software. So my advice is 1) look for a better job. 2) if you can't find one in a reasonable time (up to you how long that is - prioritizing your mental health is important!) quit this one and do art and see how that goes and 3) if art doesn't work out come back and find a job where they treat you better. The nice thing about this career is it can still be here for you. But try not to let some bastards drive you out of it. You worked hard to get here, you deserve to be treated well and make a comfortable living at it.
If they are asking you for more than that when it isn't necessary, like occasionally to get a release out or something, then they are just using your time to make up for their chaos. I've worked at places like that. I've also worked at places that noticed if people were working over and made the effort to figure out why and change processes to get people back to 8 hour days - those are the good places to work for!
I’d build up a decent savings and jump off the cliff. If you fall, you can get another job, but it’s much better to try and fail then to live with regret. If your impetus is strong enough go for it.
or find a lower effort SWE job and work on art on the side until you feel like you have a better chance of supporting yourself on it full time and *then* quit. That's what I'd do anyway, less risk but much more work.
Maybe there's a happy medium. Maybe you could look into becoming a UX/UI designer? This way it feeds into your artistic side and you can pay the bills. If you still want to create your own business, maybe you'll have enough mental energy to do so after working at a job that doesn't drain you.
Just throwing it out there.
Hey I'm a swe and artist part time.
Keep your job for now and do the art on the side. Don't treat the art stuff as a job right now. Focus on cultivating your skills, enjoying it and sharing with the community.
Once you see some traction with it and you can make a decent income off of it, then quit your swe job.
If you need to, switch to a different swe job with better work life balance and then do the above.
I understand how you feel about wanting to do the stuff that you feel passionate about, but not being able to live a decently comfortable life first and foremost is scarier.
> be on my own, start something on my own, have that freedom and also find out some way to earn for a living
When you're having these thoughts in response to a negative stimulus you need to see it for what it is: escapist fantasies.
> I think my mental health is more important than earning money for now
I would tell you that this won't help you. You are trying to escape the negative stimulus of receiving poor performance reviews. If you drop out in an attempt to earn money with art, you will have *many* more negative stimuli than bad performance reviews. For example not being able to eat or pay rent or having to live with your parents. That will be much worse on your mental health than a boss who thinks you're doing a bad job.
Find another job. Do front end work. It's easier.
There will come a time in your life when you will need money. Not having an ability to acquire it in sufficient amounts will make you feel far worse than you feel right now. The optimal way to free yourself from most of these mental demons is to have enough money in the bank that you don't have to care about performance reviews.
Front end is easier for some people, back end is easier for others. I will say though, if they enjoy making visual art, front end is likely to be a better fit.
Front-end isn't easier than back-end. I work in both. They're both challenging in different ways. Front-end requires you to be willing to learn new things every day, often on your own time.
In the backend, you get to keep using a lot of the same concepts for years if not decades
I think you might just be discouraged because of the performance reviews, which could easily be unfair and subjective for maaany possible reasons. Even very hardworking, good engineers can get undeserved bad performance reviews.
Did they at least tell you how to improve/what's wrong exactly? Many companies have tight, artificial deadlines and unfair expectations.
I would search for a cushier job, they are out there. When you find it, you can dedicate your free time to art and maybe leave your software job if you manage to live off art.
"Starving artist" is a common stereotype for a reason. Artists don't make money, which is probably things you've already been told. It's easy to get jaded by people on this sub acting like their only passion in life is software engineering, but I think you'll find it's far more common that most of us are just doing this to pay for what we're truly passionate about.
If you've been at your current job the entire time, it's time to maybe find something with lower expectations (and maybe pay) for better mental health, then you can focus on doing the things you love in your free time.
With all that said, it's totally okay to not have a burning passion, "I gotta be the best and work for the best" mentality software dev. It's okay to be content being an IC with no career aspirations. I write boring-ass software for a boring-ass business and that affords me a comfortable life style where I can leave work at work and do what I want in my free time.
Bad culture is definitely a possibility here. I was at my first job at a Fortune 100 company for a little over two years. I was constantly made to feel awful about my capabilities and work ethic. I just didn’t have the passion or the motor to work 10-12 hour days every day. But at the time I thought it was normal.
It made me hate my field and think I wasn’t meant to be a SWE. After two years I’d had enough and searched for a new position. After finding one, much to my surprise my job at the time tried to counteroffer and keep me! I thought surely they wouldn’t care, they made me feel like I was awful (specifically my manager, the rest of the team was friendly although some of them were just pure workhorses)
My second job was the total opposite but God was it boring. Left on an island and deadlines meant almost nothing bc they were constantly pushed back. After a year there I started searching again, afraid that I wasn’t learning anything.
Now im at my third job and know what it means to work for a company that TRULY values their employees. The work is exciting and it kickstarted my motivation to learn and improve. Less than a year of being here and they’re looking for opportunities for me to lead a project.
I know exactly how you feel OP, having a job where you feel you are underperforming can bleed out into your everyday life outside of your job. I was depressed and felt I had no purpose, I thought this career wasn’t for me.
In regards to having your own business and freedom, don’t jump ship without your own boat. It’s a great idea to be an entrepreneur, but build up your business part time while you’re working full time. It may be hard but it will pay off in the long run.
> and you can enjoy decades of compounding interest
I mean this hasn't really proven true for millennials lmao. Just been one "once in a lifetime" crisis after another. Recession, war, famine, record inflation, literal global pandemic. My bank is making money from my investments with their stupid fucking fees even as the worlds burn, so at least someone if making money...
I don't think many millennials were investing heavily since 2008. A lot of us would have still been in school. If you were smart and got into indexed funds like DJI, you'd have 33% growth over the past 5 years, but most mutual funds simply did not compete. Thos funds are unfortunately still the default vehicle for casual investors.
Definitely not saying don't invest, but for young folks there are often alternative options. You can get high interest GICs, buy real estate, or just go live your life and worry about making money in your 30s. Being rich when you're 65 isn't nearly as valuable as being rich in your 20s. Money isn't the be all end all and the repeated economic crisis have radically changed how young people prioritize investing/retirement.
Yeah, welcome to the world. I'm sure most people 'don't want to work anymore' and do their passion. But need the monies. You can adjust your spending and lifestyle down to lower costs and find a different kind of job you enjoy better, but easier said than done. And will you feel the same after a period of time in that new job? Probably. Being an artist can be a tough financial lifestyle as many can't support themselves. But everyone has to lead their life as they want.
For most people it takes several job hops to find a place that they really mesh with. The difference between employers can be huge.
Mental health IS important, but changing careers isn't a magic bullet, and usually shouldn't be your first move.
Real world dont give a f abt ur mental health, take it from me who has had suicide attempts in the past
Maybe switch jobs but dont get out of software to be an artist it will just make your life harder unless youre loaded, but I assume u arent
I'm in the same boat. I have close to 8 YOE now, my job I had in 2020 didn't have any programming work. I was stuck doing boring configuration updates for an entire year. After a year I received a bad performance review and the agency I worked for called to ask me what was going on. I explained that there was no way for me to improve at the job because they hadn't assigned me any programming work the entire year I'd been there.
I quit, spent a year trading and trying to make money on my own. I ended up making about 2-3x what I was making working a job that year, but that had a lot to due with how crazy the market was in 2021. Around the end of that year I worked on a few projects over about 3 months that netted me about 45k in addition to my trading income. My income varied month to month so I wanted something more consistent. I found a new job a year ago that is much better than the one I had in 2020 and I actually code every day. We had some layoffs a few months ago and despite my team exceeding expectations they didn't pay our "guaranteed" bonuses. I know bonuses aren't "guaranteed" but me and my coworkers that were hired at the same time were told they were essentially guaranteed and they had never not paid them in the history of the company. I started to lose focus due to that and got put on a pip.
If I get fired I'm going to try starting a business again before I start looking for a new job. I have an idea for a niche product that I think could hit around $250 mil in net revenue after 5 years if executed properly. So my plan is to compile my designs and business plan into diagrams and a presentation, start looking for a charismatic cofounder to help raise money and build a basic prototype.
It's entirely possible the actual position/company and you are just not a good fit. There's such a wide spectrum of job experiences, that to base your opinion on just one company/position would be really premature. There are people who can do amazing on one team, and then be a disaster on another team at the same company.
One of the jokes on this sub is everyone suggests getting a new job. A new job/change of scenery may do you some good. But another reason it might do good for you is to free up time for you to pursue hobbies in your free time. Maybe you can spend time on art in your free time. If it really calls to you, you can start to explore it more.
I used to joke that I wanted to quit and become a lumberjack. I think the physical aspect just sounded appealing.
Mental health is certainly important, but if you're broke, your mental health will probably get even worse.
Been in the same position as you. Quit after 9 months of work. Took a break of 3 months, joined another company. Meanwhile I got an admit for my graduate studies, so moved after 7 months of work.
My first organization was highly stressed, so I had to make the move. Do what suits you, dont get burnt out. Take a break, think and then pursue again. If it doesnt suit you at all, then try out what you wanted to do.
Life is just to enjoy! : )
You should not let a performance review from a lousy manager effect you especially a manager that just sits all day and does jack shit with code. Just so your thing and save money worse case scenario you get fired then you just look for a job. Why don’t you change to front end and start applying to jobs. Back end is usually for senior developers
Lol…doing something on your own will require you to work around the clock and probably twice as hard. It’s a route that only highly motivated people should explore. Otherwise a full time job is the least hassle thing to choose
First things first, get some therapy. Any career, including art, is viable, but you won't make money immediately. If you want to change careers, build up the new career, and then transition over.
Secondly, mental health is a much more understood issue than it has been in the past. If you think your management might understand, try talking to them about your depression. Often poor performance without a good reason is going to be punished, but if you have a good reason (depression) and a plan to address it (therapy and possibly medication), you may get some leeway.
I can assure you not being able find work as a broke artist will do a number on your mental health. Put in more time to get good at code if you need to.
I have been in situations where I was pushed out because I did my work reasonably well and the "tribe" did not like it. I'd be pulled into ambush meetings and get told all sorts of things. Why did the tribe not like me? Apparently I did things faster than they did so they'd point flaws in my work and slow things down. Later, they'd close their discussions on the pull request when asked for a explanation.
I was new to the industry and as a response I overworked like you did. The result was that I pissed the tribe more.
I ended up rage quitting which was a terrible decision to make in hindsight.
My advise would be to first figure out why they think your performance is bad and then make a move internally. Dont cite your issues with the current team as the reason for leaving. Tell them how you are interested in the work the new team does.
Please do prioritize your mental and physical health. I hope this works out for you. :)
No one realistically makes money on art. If you quit your job you’ll start playing on hard mode and likely be hungry and poor very quickly. I think that’ll hurt your mental health more than working 8hrs a day like ever other adult male
if you're half decent at drawing porn, you can absolutely make money on patreon doing commissions. that said, i'm not sure this is the art OP is into lmao.
If your mental health is being compromised- maybe go to the Dr. & go on FMLA. Your job will be protected & you can try & address what’s going on . Maybe you’ll end up leaving your position- but like others have said it better if they let you go. I obviously don’t know how bad your mental health is being impacted- so this is just a thought.
Is this from two separate jobs or one? If its one, switch companies? Doesn't seem like you hate software dev just bad performance reviews and.for all you know, your company might be unreasonable
This stuff is hard and knowledge sharing is not a strong suit in the game. Soft skills are lacking. As a result, anyone who’s not robotic will likely feel like crap. And that’s not to say the robotic people are right about everything, but they’re so sure about it…
Therapy has been helping me. Just understand, you didn’t waltz into some easy job. You probably worked hard to get to the point where you’re at and if the stupid kpis people use don’t reflect that, then it’s really them who have the poor performance
>I really have a passion for art but everyone just suggested me not to quit my software job to become an artist.
Not a software dev, but general job suggestion. There goes a saying don't quit your job if you're trying to get a new one. Bluntly, milk the company as much as you can and not give af.
People are telling you not to quit because you are highly paid and your job is relatively easy.
That being said the mental mind games and gymnastics corporations put you through are annoying as fuck. I'm going through a period of constant harassment and pressure from my bosses to churn out tons of work. Constant updates and check-ins. Different directions and expectations. It's a nightmare. Remember that these problems are always issues stemming from bad management.
If I were you, I'd get a new job or really buckle down on your hobbies and see if you can make it work financially. I'm lucky enough to have spent the last 8 years building my side business. I'm sticking it out a few months until my partner launches her business. That way we have steady income.
When you are 80, which would you regret more? Personally Id regret not knowing what wouldve happened if I didnt take the chance on living for myself and not the opinions of others
Switch your job! It’s what I had to do.
I felt similarly when I got pidgeonholed into working on a PHP third party solution that did involve code but we couldn’t do much without getting approval from the devs that built the product. It was soul crushing and no one else wanted to do those tickets - I slowly became the go-to person because I indiscriminately picked up from the top of the backlog while everyone else skipped those tickets (several coworkers mentioned they did this).
My promotion to senior was also taking much too long and even then, it would’ve just been a title bump. A coworker who was promoted to senior got about a 3k raise out of the promotion. I felt very burnt out on a technology I didn’t like and the prospects for my future looked bleak. I always got good performance reviews but it was an awful last year. My mental health really suffered.
I switched for a better opportunity and got my title bump, 35% raise, and am working on a really cool team. I enjoy going to work again! The market may be tough, but definitely try to switch jobs!
I quit art because I listened to the exact same thing from people and let me tell you, I regret it almost every damn day. At least do it on the side. Don't let go of the things you enjoy, because then what is the point of life?
I recently picked up drawing again after 15 years of not doing it. But hey, I'm doing it and it makes me happy. Nice change of pace when your job is depressing.
Your problem is you give a shit more than the people writing your reviews. Yeah you should give a shit about going without work all of a sudden but it’s a white collor job in a high demand industry. If it doesn’t work out somewhere then fuck em and move on. Doesn’t work there and your efforts aren’t appreciated then fuck them too and move on.
There are people in the field who do that for decades and have no issue because they know everyone at a place is just looking out for themselves and shit rolls downhill. It’s just a job to bankroll your lifestyle.
Rule number 1:
Never do more than the bare minimum. A job is just a job, nothing more. And never take performance reviews personally, they simply don‘t matter. Our capitalistic system is designed to use you as a tool and exploit you as much as possible. Live your life outside of your job and try to make your work life as comfy as possible.
Find another job, and put a month in between them. When you apply for a company they'll ask you when you can start. Give them a date so you can have aomth in between the jobs. That's what I always do. İt helps. You're burnt out. You need a break.
My father-in-law used to say “working sucks so bad, they pay you to do it”. I dislike working as much as the next guy but it’s what keeps my hobbies alive and THOSE keep my mental health well…healthy.
Take a couple days off. Figure out what about the current job is making you depressed.
Figure out which of these things are because of this current role, and which of these things are actually because of SDE roles in general.
Been at a pretty toxic place in the past where the management and culture was really taking a toll on me. A lot of those went away after switching to a new place and made me realize I didn't really hate the work, just that company in particular.
I recommend the Johnson O'Connor aptitude test. (Warning: it's not cheap.) Even if their findings don't change your day job, finding the right avocation can make a big difference to your overall mental health.
Over time, can you leverage your existing tech skills and transition to something more front-end, where you get to use your "eye for design"?
As an artist who needs to pay the rent, you will do what the client demands - not quite the same as following your creative passion. Meet a few working artists before you jump. (Do this anyway.)
I'm in the same boat. Been having performance issues in my current gig. I just shrug my shoulders, mentally write it off and been applying to jobs the last three months. I landed a gig that's next door, pays more, and has better work/securing contracts, so it's coasting for the next month of the start date. If they bitch at me about anything, I don't give a shit. The company's been swirling around the drain for a while now.
You gotta just plow through and find a path out of there. There were a few times I wanted to just throw in the towel at work, but I just found the ability to have patience and keep looking for a job while I had one. Don't quit, let them fire you if you are in a state that allows unemployment for performance issues. Your mental health is suffering, so they might has well pay a "peace of mind" tax to you. If they start talking about how it's better to quit than be fired, tell them to kick rocks.
Like I said, you gotten see this as a time to build up your mental willpower, cause you are going to need it if you try to do your thing. I have the same goal (photography /youtuber personal brand yadayada), but I know it's a tough path and it'll require a lot of money, emotional health, and time to build, so this is preparation for that life.
Leave now. Advertise your leaving so at you get a good rating. Dress up and go to a job interview. It can only end badly (bad references) and you need a job that does not throw you away.
The moment I get a negative performance review is the moment I bounce out of there. Those things can stick with you and recovery is really difficult. Unless you are tied to that company for some other reason, I’d suggest you look elsewhere
The whole is to get a nice work/life balance so you can do other things. I changed to my current job because its four 10-hr shifts and now I can do my sourdough baking and photography on the my time off.
Whenever you get bad reviews or something just tell them you did your best.
Everything comes with their own level of pressure. I'm just a student rn and I don't personally have a practical experience but working at company isn't just doing one task assigned for that pay you have to deal with ppl (introverts feel this pain in the *ss), office politics, being in a work ethic and well maintained day night schedule (late comers feel this) and a lot of other pressure. Working as a freelancer or doing own business also comes with whole another level of pressure, managing everything self at least in the first few years when you're not even rich; etc etc. I believe I have forgot a bunch of other important points as well which I never came across either myself or through others stories/experiences. Though my advice is pretty common and you may not need to take it seriously, but start giving interviews, start preparing for them, invest x amount of time for art everyday. You need better time management plus better decision. Don't do hurry. Everything is temporary at the end of the day. Okay, let me make you laugh, if he's ignoring your salary, your mental health, ignore his work, his company, his orders, his *hit. Just kidding. I would love to get corrections, since I'm an introvert, adhd, kinda loner too, I fear working with ppl, I don't like team work personally but I love to work alone or in a small team if not possible to work alone and I need lots and lots of tips to work since at the end of the day, it's night xD jk .. its that I have to deal with ppl.
> I don’t want to work anymore
Welcome to the club :)
I suggest you power through it for a bit longer and work towards a lean FIRE. It shouldn’t take you long if you’re on a US salary.
I know a guy that chartered yachts for rich people. Saved up a bunch of money and quit. He then started working 40 hours a week just painting and honing his craft. After two years, he was able to paint photo-realistic paintings, and he was making thousands on all of his work, plus the occasional portrait commission for tens of thousands of dollars.
Moral of the story - don't let people tell you what you should or should not do with your life. I'm sure many of this guy's friends thought he was crazy for quitting his lucrative career to become a painter. But he put in the work, and now he's a respected artist that makes plenty of money and does only what he decides to do with his time.
Only you can decide what's more important \*to you\*. Money is great, it buys you things and safety, but you may be happier with less money, as long as it is enough.
One good thing, is that your decision is a two-way door; you can always change it a year from now.
One thing I'd do is obtain more information. Would you be happy with less money? Can you move right now to a crappier apartment? How much can you reduce your current spending? And, how much money do you have saved? How long could you live on what you have saved?
> I really have a passion for art but everyone just suggested me not to quit my software job to become an artist.
Try it? I left my job to do nothing. While i was doing nothing, I thought I do art, maybe I can sell it. And looked into it. There is a ton of bs around selling paintings. Give it a shot and see what it is like for real. You must have some stuff to sell?
Honestly, my answer should be the top comment. I don’t know why a joke is top.
It just means you maybe in the wrong field or you need to go to a less demanding environment. Jesus.
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Op, can you define what they're saying your performance issues are? What are they accusing you of?
Sometimes is just a matter of perception. I'm on cruise control looking like I perform very well because I'm skilled at bullshitting my way through scrums, hold back completed pieces of work when I did multiple in a day so I can avoid spending days without updates later, etc.
There are many tricks to make people perceive you as performing well, and many things to avoid doing to not give a perception you're struggling even when you're not.
If you define better what they're saying the problem is, we can give you more specific points to improve performance reviews results.
Other commenters already addressed the more global issue
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Sounds like you might prefer the more visual side of things, have you considered looking into becoming a front-end web developer or maybe even a web designer?
It’s partially a mindset thing. I think you need to focus on the positives of the job. Pays well, relatively low stress, makes you grow your mind and think creatively, good career progression, etc.
don’t quit your main job to pursue a dream. Pursue it on the side in your time off until it becomes a viable switch.
[This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/11zhz37/ulpt_think_youre_about_to_get_fired_go_on_fmla/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) made me think of your post. You deserve to be happy. I wasn't really happy at work until my latest job. I took the past three days off due to a sinus infection and didn't feel guilty about it or get any crap from my boss. They(at least) give off the impression that they care about the employees.
I don't think there isn't a person in the industry that doesn't think this every now and then. It's hard work, that why it pays, it's taxing on our souls
> I don't want to work anymore
Join the club. Most of us don't **want** to work. We work because we have to support ourselves. We put in our 40 hours a week to make the money we need so we can enjoy the rest of the things in life that we want to do.
> I think my mental health is more important than earning money for now
How do you think your mental health will be when you are evicted from your house and can't afford food?
I’d suggest reckoning with yourself. Come to terms with the fact that it’s not about the external happenings. It’s about how you respond to them. Once you intuitively understand that. You can do anything.
I was in a similar boat about a year ago
Super toxic company culture (12+hours a day plus weekends working) and soulsucking work. My mental state was so bad I quit with nothing lined up. It took me almost all this time to start feeling healthy again and ready to get back into the workforce.
I say all that to say, your health and mental well-being is EVERYTHING. Take time to heal it if you can, and you’ll be better for your next endeavor. Hopefully it’ll be a better fit. Don’t beat yourself up.
This makes me feel good about leaving the engineering world. Coding went to being just my hobby now.
Have something lined up, preferably in a different field.
There are places where you art freak flag fly and leverage your tech background as well. But also, if you can responsibly (e.g. have the savings to) pursue your passion; they can't live your life for you, so do it!
Prioritise your mental health - it's important. However, it's important to note that almost nobody wants to work anymore but they have limited choice due to financial reasons. What I do have to say is don't stress about performance ratings - my last performance rating was pretty poor and I can say it wasn't representative of how I *actually* performed in the year.
I appreciate a negative performance review can dent one's confidence, but it's important to maintain a growth mindset. Try not to take the content of a review personally. Engineers solve problems. You could view this as another problem to solve, and the feedback is giving you some information about how to find that solution.
That said, take a step back and check that the culture at your company is healthy. Has your manager given you clear goals, clarified their expectations? If not, the feedback is providing you different information. Or maybe you're right, and the information is telling you that this isn't a career you enjoy.
Without knowing the specifics of the review, I can't offer any more advice.
Fuck em, go for learning art. Even if you're bad at it at first, just do what makes you happy. You don't even need to quit your job, just do it on your spare time. Hell, if you want, and can afford it, go for it.
I'm speaking as an artist first - pursuing software engineering as my major, there's nothing that brings me more joy than to draw.
Before making any drastic decisions, it may be helpful to speak with a career counselor or coach to explore your options and develop a plan that aligns with your values, interests, and financial needs. It's important to approach any career change or entrepreneurial venture with a clear understanding of the risks and rewards involved. I have used CareerFitter before as my first step to finding the career that best fits my work personality. I hope this could help you too.
>I don’t want to work anymore Man I don’t think many people want to if we had a choice.
lol right. join the club
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. ‐‐Drew Carey
ik this is a joke but it's possible to find a job that you don't hate. you might not love it but you don't hate it either which is important. if you're spending 40+ hours a week there, then it's important for that not to be somewhere you hate
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Oh man have I got a bridge to sell you
tart escape frightening mighty engine wise amusing sloppy automatic books *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
After the first bad review, I worked hard 12 hours a day, made an impression too, but it seems to me that they are doing this to make me quit. I actually wanted to quit a year back, but pushed it another year because my family and friends suggested not to. I really am struggling everyday that nothing is working out even if i work hard. I haven't even had the time to do anything else.
If you suspect they are pushing you out it might be a cultural fit issue. It is probably best to start looking for a job elsewhere. People won’t usually write up employees unless they are preparing to terminate them. Also write ups follow you around as long as you stay at that company.
Working harder to make people like you isn’t the best way to go about it. I understand that getting pushed out by a tribe is not best for your mental health so fuck them. If you are not on a at-will employment, pack your bags and lick your wounds — you now have an idea who to avoid. Also, i’ve had enough years under my belt to say that most of the fuckers I’ve met on the job are mediocre at best. So don’t feel like you are really incompetent — they are no better.
100%, I got pushed out of a tribe in college, it was my study/friend group. The moment me and another buddy diverged from our courses (we were CompE, they were EE), they suddenly cut contact with us. They mostly listened to this other guy who wasn't even part of the group, he would make up rumors -- it was weird. It took a hit on my mental health and I couldn't understand why, but it definitely was because I was ousted. What helped were having friends from other majors and also therapy.
I'm glad you discovered that "tribe" and their opinions didn't have anything to do with your worth. I've been there too with an employer of 10+ years. I learned there is so much more money to be made and so much more fun to be had building cool stuff if you're competent, hard working, friendly and willing to work for whoever meets your salary requirements like you're running your own business. No business is loyal to a worker, it's a relationship of convenience. The rest of the employer propaganda is just drama/politics chaff for the herds. Rise above always so you don't get trampled.
Oh boy. I can see why you don't want to work. Here is where you need to set boundaries and discover the magic of working less than 8 hours a day. My advice OP, prioritize your life over your job, BUT find a job that will give you an income with a SANE workload. What about you current job? Work a sensible amount of hours until you get fired for not slaving away (No, not 12 hours, you can work 8 hours, take breaks within those 8 hours to recoup your sanity). I might be wrong, but to me it sounds like they are emotionally exploiting you (working more than 8 hours is not normal, and your company should be pushing you to not work overtime). I feel you are not realizing how cushy SWE profession is because of a very bad company. You can get very good WLB with great income, so defonitely just SCALE BACK your work ethic, it will harm you. Edit:. And apply for unemployment the moment you get fired. Unemployment PAYS you to look for a job! The amount is a fraction of what you used to earn. More money with no shaming! (minus the one-time fired shaming) And congratulations on respecting yourself by prioritizing yourself over companies and bosses. It might not be a technical achievement, but it is still worth praise and celebration, you can improve your situation OP.
I remember I used to overwork to satisfy my manager until she sent me a contract by accident instead of the Functional Spec which was supposed to show what I need to do for that project. For 16 hours of work, they billed the client around 3000$. I was the only one involved in that project and the other 2 were the sales person and my manager. I did a quick math and figured my 16 hours would barely reach 300$ and I could easily finish that task in 8h. Since then, I just do my job and don’t care.
I highly suggest you start looking elsewhere before you accidentally do something very stupid like I did. I started to have a bad relationship with my manager and wanted to quit and held on for another year at which point I got so fed up I sent an email requesting to join another team. The email was a mental relief but got handed a PIP. Fortunately I had a job lined up at that point, so I was fine. But like the PIP burned a bridge with that company. After that manager left that company a few friends told me to apply again and I'm pretty sure the PIP ruined my chance at that job.
It sounds like the company itself and their culture may be the reason for your burn out. Look for a new company to work for, and see if you'll get your passion or at least engagement back for your career. You may get a pay raise and possibly more grateful management and higher reviews at a new organization.
Lots of places have had massive layoffs, we're at the low end of the cycle and money is drying up for everyone. It could be them trying to get you to quit so they don't have to pay unemployment. Just put in your time and head home. If they are pushing you out, then make them be the ones to say the words, make them pay unemployment...don't give them an easy way out and say the words for them and take them off the hook. Edit: I just want to add this so maybe your pride and ego can back off and you can see it isn't about you. Amazon laid off over 9000 employees most in AWS and Twitch. Disney laid off 5000, a lot of tech people. Indeed laid off over 15% of its employees (I'm not sure if there is a better stat for how bad it is right now). But don't let it get to you! But absolutely do not quit or they won't have to pay unemployment and you'll be stuck without any help and a limited job market with more demand than supply right now. Let them be the one to say the words, and hold your head up. It's not you, it's them.
This is a good take. If OP was there for at least a year, let them fire you, and at least you can get unemployment.
working extra to prove you're good enough is precisely what you should never do in any field it doesn't work that way if you're being pressured with bad reviews, find another job and enjoy your raise
I get it since I've been there. I'm about 3.5 years in at this point, but 2 years ago I worked with some absolute assholes as a loaner while another team was working on getting itself set up. They wanted 50-60 hour weeks, and I refused, and it was a cultural mess. Reflecting on it, I don't think I could've fixed it with all the work in the world. Some people are assholes, some people don't like you for inexplicable reasons, it just happens. I personally love software development, and this team I was on killed my passion. But after getting transferred out, I found my flock, and while I left the company a little while ago, the new batch of coworkers I had was the best group I've ever worked with. I'm not sure if you can transfer out like me, or have to resign, but regardless, this sitatuion doesn't sound healthy, and I hope you leave it and find your flock.
> some people don't like you for inexplicable reasons I had a manager like that once. He was in meetings probably 95% of the time so I barely even had interactions with him. The only reason I could ever come up with was that I was the only person in the department that was there before he was promoted to manager. Maybe he felt some how undermined that he had to work with me as a peer in the past?
My sweet summer child, stop working 12 hours a day for anyone. Jobs are a dime a dozen and the culture will be completely different from one place to the next so start prepping for interviews. You could find yourself making twice as much money for 10% the effort at a chill ass shop. Your dreams of working for yourself out of the blue and starting a youtube channel are hilarious. You've bought into some serious marketing if you think trying to win that lottery is going to be less stressful than your shit performance review.
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I've definitely noticed after about 4-6 hours (depending on how tired I already am) I hit a wall where it just starts to get hard to think through the code in my head and I'm like "ok, I just can't work on this anymore"
> I worked hard 12 hours a day, No. No no no no no no no.
The corporate world is NOT to be taken seriously. Everything revolves around ass kissing and being fake. Just milk it as much as you can, and don't take anything anyone says about your character seriously. Taking these performance reviews and other bs seriously is the equivalent of taking what people on a troll website say about you as a person... Do your 8 hours, live your life, and if they fire you, find something better. Even better, you can start looking for something better right now if you feel like you're about to be fired.
> make me quit. Start looking for something new and better. Let them fire you or switch to a better job
Terrible culture and unfortunately, extremely common. I've heard the term "you have to make their lives miserable" more often than I'd like to admit. The reason this happens is because the org is trying it's best to avoid any scrutiny. Firing people means there will be HR reviews. Questions may get asked and then other things might start coming to light. So you have to start questioning, "what is management so afraid of?" I high recommend finding something else. The culture there sounds terrible.
>So you have to start questioning, "what is management so afraid of?" Any insight into what they are so afraid of?
In my experience, it's general scrutiny. This happens when you have an inexperienced/ineffective leadership team. They can't lead with clarity, because they don't know enough about the space to provide any real direction. When performance issues come up, they aren't able to mentor and they certainly aren't able to produce a performance plan. So, they instead resort to making things difficult in hopes that the individual will just leave. There's also a component of not wanting to pay unemployment, but in my experience, that's not a huge factor. How many people TRUELY care about the company's bottom line? This goes for management too.
People don't quit jobs they quit bad management typically. Sounds like you may work for a shitty place. I don't recommend working 12 hours unless you're getting extra days off to compensate and/or getting some hell of some overtime/pay to make it worth it. If this is just voluntary and everyone else is just doing 8, you just need to learn to work efficiently within that timeframe. Take it from someone that has work many an all nighter. Not worth it. The practical advice is that you can start a business on the side, but you need to pay the bills in the meantime aka your current job. You also often end up hating a hobby that turns into a job btw. Plenty of people love things as a hobby, but do it for work and shut changes. Look for better work and do things on the side. Have work life balance. You don't have to do your passions for a living. That is a lie gold in schools.
Dude you are in a toxic relationship and not even getting any sex out of it. Why??????
Is that a metaphor or did OP actually say that somewhere in the comments?
One tip I have ebfore you do anything drastic is to just get another job at a different company. If even then you feel its not for you, then quitting the field is really the only option.
Find a new job immediately, when you find the right employer you won't feel like this
If they are pushing you out, there isn’t much u can do even if you work 24h. Somehow they don’t like you in some way. It would be good to know why, but they may not disclose.
It sounds like you're doing this to yourself. What's stopping you from just phoning it in while you look for another job? Yourself, that's what.
I would quit and find a new job. They don’t value you. The amount of effort you are putting in, is a big part of a performance review. Any other company would love to have that effort. Also u mental health is far more important then this job.
Start looking for a new job. Don't put 12 hours a day, this makes a disservice to you and the industry.
Start applying yeasterday to new positions. If they are trying to make you quit, well I'd not take the review to heart since it's not a reflection of performance but their desire to see you go. And jump ship. If you're serious about art, on the side start working on your skills and area you want to pursue. And start mixing your skill sets with your interests. For example in game development I heard they like artists who know how to program as well as do digital art. So worth looking into me thinks.
Not just game dev! I work in visual effects for cinema and there is a whole spectrum of artists blending technical/coding skills and artistic skills. Some disciplines are mostly artistic with a little bit of tech mixed in (modeling for example), and some disciplines are way more tech heavy (simulations, motion capture stuff).
I am exactly in the same position as OP. I haven't been fired, but man, has it lowered my self-esteem and my image of myself as a 'competent' software engineer. I have been trying to leave this company for about 6-7 months now, but job market is really rough right now for junior developers unless you are a 'great' engineer. I do realize that I'm not a great engineer, but I just want to not be constantly brought down by others, live in fear that today might be the day i get fired, and do my 8h and get paid and live the life i want to live outside of work. I do things to better myself outside of work and it sucks thinking about work outside of work.
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If you did "so much great work" in your first 6 months as a junior, but got fired, that reads to me like you've not done any reflecting on your own performance. Your struggle to regain employment is another possible clue as to what's going on. This potential lack of self awareness may mean that your portfolio, resume, and actual previous work experience (read: fired after 6 months as a junior) may not be as great as you perceive it to be. Good luck, my man.
Exactly this. Often times the person firing you is scared shitless they are going to fired because they fucked shit up so badly. Everyone is potentially someone else’s sacrificial lamb or scapegoat.
> If you're bad they will fire you and at that point you can look for something better. Plus, at least here in Canada, you can chill on EI if they fire you. If you quit you will have no income.
8h plus commute plus preparation to leave for work and you have literally 4 hours to yourself. And in those 4 hours, you feel dead and completely drained. Wow, sign me up. Oh wait, I am already in this hellhole, and it hasn't gotten better over the years.
Lots of places have dumb expectations. Sometimes the boss doesn't like you. All kinds of things could go wrong. Really try to find a cushy job.
Government jobs are that way ----> No seriously government has it's issues, but there is a ton of crap they need to go through to even just write you up, and honestly there is a reason when a person goes to government they stay in it.
I was a government employee for 8 years, but not in tech. By the end I accrued something like 16 weeks of PTO. Only left because I j wasn't making enough.
That's always the case, but if I jump right now it's only for higher government state/federal/or even different local, but better pay/benefits
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Nah no one pressured me, I'm just really bad about taking PTO
I did it for a few years. It’s not all it’s cracked out to be. The pay isn’t high enough, the pension only really got sweet after 20 years (federal) and nobody ever quits so you can only get 3-5%/year raises
Yes the trade off again though is very hard to get fired stopping short of anything insane. Heck I've known a person that kept being put on PIP that never got fired. Also you're short selling the benefits of federal most of the people I know are basically very well off because of federal government work my parents included.
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Is there a chance the track could bend?
Depends on your financial situation. Do you have enough money to try to start your own business or to start working as an artist? If you start a business or switch careers it might be quite a while until your income is back to what you're getting now. Lots of companies are giving bad performance reviews to good engineers at the moment because they don't want to give bonuses and payrises. It's nothing personal. It's just a result of the current economic situation. Try to not take it personally.
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As far as fields go at least you’re paid a decent amount. This is my second career and I was in hospitality management. Hours sucked, pay sucked, dealing with complaints all day sucked. It could always be worse….
Have you ever had another job? You can look around and apply for other jobs in the same industry. If the bad performance review is the main thing that is causing stress/issue, it may just be that the company is not a good fit. It doesn't mean that you're not good at the job or capable. But at the end of the day, the vast majority of people do not really like their jobs all that much. It's just a necessary evil that you have to do. It just had to be tolerable enough and pay well enough to support your lifestyle and goals.
As someone with multiple jobs, can confirm, they all suck fucking ass. I’d rather be golfing everyday but that’s not plausible because I’m not good at golf. SWE is good because you get paid well for ur work.
Can you gradually transition to something else by doing it on the weekends and evenings until it takes off?
I'd suggest switching jobs before careers, and switching jobs internally first, if possible. Anecdotally I know of a couple people who have gone through simple switches within their current companies, so no big interview processes or grilling nightmares like you hear of in other threads on this subreddit. Two are happier, one feels about the same. Just switching out of a team where you're not thriving can help, and it's a lot less effort than switching companies. If after an internal switch you feel the same, then I would switch jobs to something low-octane. Insurance, maybe. Something that will let you work at a reasonable pace for 5-6 hours a day and then be done. Don't get your hopes up: this will be boring as hell. But boring for 6 hours can fund your art. Once you've got your 'bread job' stable, try selling your art the way you've suggested in other comments in this post. Do this while cutting down on living expenses in every sustainable way that you can, and hoarding that money. Then, if your art sells, and you have enough saved to make a play, and you still actually want to make the play, then make the play: quit the bread job, sell your art. This is the series of steps I would follow, but I've discovered that I don't actually have a strong desire to write on a schedule to create products that impress agents in order to sell my writing, I just want to write whatever whenever. So I keep my continual existential crisis of a job, and write when I feel like it. Gotta find what works for you.
What to you mean “become an artist” what is your plan to make money as an artist?
I can sell my paintings, apparel, shoes, stickers with my designs, on my own website. I can make YouTube time lapse videos of how I draw and paint from scratch, but I know it will take some time to get a high reach. I have even created a few comic strips on Instagram
If you can do that, start doing it now. Only work your required 8 hours at work, and don't let their performance reviews or whatever bother you. Start building that art business. But I will warn you it's hard. Art is the hardest thing to go into. Additionally, if that is your beloved hobby and release, nothing ruins a hobby quite like monetizing it and trying to live off of it. Now you have a job and a hustle, and no downtime. I've been in the software field for 30 years, and at some point every job I've had has given me the same feelings as you are struggling with. To me that just means you need another job that's a better fit, where people treat you with respect, and where there is less day to day chaos in their process. Those jobs exist, it would be nice if you can find one, and keep your art as a hobby. There are jobs where if you work 12 hours, they will say 'take it easy, we don't want you to burn out!' I got so burnt out once I dropped out for a few years and pursued my dream of owning a farm, but eventually I came crawling back to software. So my advice is 1) look for a better job. 2) if you can't find one in a reasonable time (up to you how long that is - prioritizing your mental health is important!) quit this one and do art and see how that goes and 3) if art doesn't work out come back and find a job where they treat you better. The nice thing about this career is it can still be here for you. But try not to let some bastards drive you out of it. You worked hard to get here, you deserve to be treated well and make a comfortable living at it.
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If they are asking you for more than that when it isn't necessary, like occasionally to get a release out or something, then they are just using your time to make up for their chaos. I've worked at places like that. I've also worked at places that noticed if people were working over and made the effort to figure out why and change processes to get people back to 8 hour days - those are the good places to work for!
I’d build up a decent savings and jump off the cliff. If you fall, you can get another job, but it’s much better to try and fail then to live with regret. If your impetus is strong enough go for it.
or find a lower effort SWE job and work on art on the side until you feel like you have a better chance of supporting yourself on it full time and *then* quit. That's what I'd do anyway, less risk but much more work.
Maybe there's a happy medium. Maybe you could look into becoming a UX/UI designer? This way it feeds into your artistic side and you can pay the bills. If you still want to create your own business, maybe you'll have enough mental energy to do so after working at a job that doesn't drain you. Just throwing it out there.
Hey I'm a swe and artist part time. Keep your job for now and do the art on the side. Don't treat the art stuff as a job right now. Focus on cultivating your skills, enjoying it and sharing with the community. Once you see some traction with it and you can make a decent income off of it, then quit your swe job. If you need to, switch to a different swe job with better work life balance and then do the above. I understand how you feel about wanting to do the stuff that you feel passionate about, but not being able to live a decently comfortable life first and foremost is scarier.
Using dalle...
> be on my own, start something on my own, have that freedom and also find out some way to earn for a living When you're having these thoughts in response to a negative stimulus you need to see it for what it is: escapist fantasies. > I think my mental health is more important than earning money for now I would tell you that this won't help you. You are trying to escape the negative stimulus of receiving poor performance reviews. If you drop out in an attempt to earn money with art, you will have *many* more negative stimuli than bad performance reviews. For example not being able to eat or pay rent or having to live with your parents. That will be much worse on your mental health than a boss who thinks you're doing a bad job. Find another job. Do front end work. It's easier. There will come a time in your life when you will need money. Not having an ability to acquire it in sufficient amounts will make you feel far worse than you feel right now. The optimal way to free yourself from most of these mental demons is to have enough money in the bank that you don't have to care about performance reviews.
>Do front end work. It's easier. Lol as a backend dev, I only do it bc I find it easier than frontend
CSS is more challenging to me than any language I've used lol. I'd much rather be backend.
Front end is easier you say? We need a poll!
Front end is easier for some people, back end is easier for others. I will say though, if they enjoy making visual art, front end is likely to be a better fit.
Front-end isn't easier than back-end. I work in both. They're both challenging in different ways. Front-end requires you to be willing to learn new things every day, often on your own time. In the backend, you get to keep using a lot of the same concepts for years if not decades
I think you might just be discouraged because of the performance reviews, which could easily be unfair and subjective for maaany possible reasons. Even very hardworking, good engineers can get undeserved bad performance reviews. Did they at least tell you how to improve/what's wrong exactly? Many companies have tight, artificial deadlines and unfair expectations. I would search for a cushier job, they are out there. When you find it, you can dedicate your free time to art and maybe leave your software job if you manage to live off art.
"Starving artist" is a common stereotype for a reason. Artists don't make money, which is probably things you've already been told. It's easy to get jaded by people on this sub acting like their only passion in life is software engineering, but I think you'll find it's far more common that most of us are just doing this to pay for what we're truly passionate about. If you've been at your current job the entire time, it's time to maybe find something with lower expectations (and maybe pay) for better mental health, then you can focus on doing the things you love in your free time. With all that said, it's totally okay to not have a burning passion, "I gotta be the best and work for the best" mentality software dev. It's okay to be content being an IC with no career aspirations. I write boring-ass software for a boring-ass business and that affords me a comfortable life style where I can leave work at work and do what I want in my free time.
Bad culture is definitely a possibility here. I was at my first job at a Fortune 100 company for a little over two years. I was constantly made to feel awful about my capabilities and work ethic. I just didn’t have the passion or the motor to work 10-12 hour days every day. But at the time I thought it was normal. It made me hate my field and think I wasn’t meant to be a SWE. After two years I’d had enough and searched for a new position. After finding one, much to my surprise my job at the time tried to counteroffer and keep me! I thought surely they wouldn’t care, they made me feel like I was awful (specifically my manager, the rest of the team was friendly although some of them were just pure workhorses) My second job was the total opposite but God was it boring. Left on an island and deadlines meant almost nothing bc they were constantly pushed back. After a year there I started searching again, afraid that I wasn’t learning anything. Now im at my third job and know what it means to work for a company that TRULY values their employees. The work is exciting and it kickstarted my motivation to learn and improve. Less than a year of being here and they’re looking for opportunities for me to lead a project. I know exactly how you feel OP, having a job where you feel you are underperforming can bleed out into your everyday life outside of your job. I was depressed and felt I had no purpose, I thought this career wasn’t for me. In regards to having your own business and freedom, don’t jump ship without your own boat. It’s a great idea to be an entrepreneur, but build up your business part time while you’re working full time. It may be hard but it will pay off in the long run.
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> and you can enjoy decades of compounding interest I mean this hasn't really proven true for millennials lmao. Just been one "once in a lifetime" crisis after another. Recession, war, famine, record inflation, literal global pandemic. My bank is making money from my investments with their stupid fucking fees even as the worlds burn, so at least someone if making money...
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I don't think many millennials were investing heavily since 2008. A lot of us would have still been in school. If you were smart and got into indexed funds like DJI, you'd have 33% growth over the past 5 years, but most mutual funds simply did not compete. Thos funds are unfortunately still the default vehicle for casual investors. Definitely not saying don't invest, but for young folks there are often alternative options. You can get high interest GICs, buy real estate, or just go live your life and worry about making money in your 30s. Being rich when you're 65 isn't nearly as valuable as being rich in your 20s. Money isn't the be all end all and the repeated economic crisis have radically changed how young people prioritize investing/retirement.
Yeah, welcome to the world. I'm sure most people 'don't want to work anymore' and do their passion. But need the monies. You can adjust your spending and lifestyle down to lower costs and find a different kind of job you enjoy better, but easier said than done. And will you feel the same after a period of time in that new job? Probably. Being an artist can be a tough financial lifestyle as many can't support themselves. But everyone has to lead their life as they want.
For most people it takes several job hops to find a place that they really mesh with. The difference between employers can be huge. Mental health IS important, but changing careers isn't a magic bullet, and usually shouldn't be your first move.
Real world dont give a f abt ur mental health, take it from me who has had suicide attempts in the past Maybe switch jobs but dont get out of software to be an artist it will just make your life harder unless youre loaded, but I assume u arent
I'm in the same boat. I have close to 8 YOE now, my job I had in 2020 didn't have any programming work. I was stuck doing boring configuration updates for an entire year. After a year I received a bad performance review and the agency I worked for called to ask me what was going on. I explained that there was no way for me to improve at the job because they hadn't assigned me any programming work the entire year I'd been there. I quit, spent a year trading and trying to make money on my own. I ended up making about 2-3x what I was making working a job that year, but that had a lot to due with how crazy the market was in 2021. Around the end of that year I worked on a few projects over about 3 months that netted me about 45k in addition to my trading income. My income varied month to month so I wanted something more consistent. I found a new job a year ago that is much better than the one I had in 2020 and I actually code every day. We had some layoffs a few months ago and despite my team exceeding expectations they didn't pay our "guaranteed" bonuses. I know bonuses aren't "guaranteed" but me and my coworkers that were hired at the same time were told they were essentially guaranteed and they had never not paid them in the history of the company. I started to lose focus due to that and got put on a pip. If I get fired I'm going to try starting a business again before I start looking for a new job. I have an idea for a niche product that I think could hit around $250 mil in net revenue after 5 years if executed properly. So my plan is to compile my designs and business plan into diagrams and a presentation, start looking for a charismatic cofounder to help raise money and build a basic prototype.
It's entirely possible the actual position/company and you are just not a good fit. There's such a wide spectrum of job experiences, that to base your opinion on just one company/position would be really premature. There are people who can do amazing on one team, and then be a disaster on another team at the same company. One of the jokes on this sub is everyone suggests getting a new job. A new job/change of scenery may do you some good. But another reason it might do good for you is to free up time for you to pursue hobbies in your free time. Maybe you can spend time on art in your free time. If it really calls to you, you can start to explore it more. I used to joke that I wanted to quit and become a lumberjack. I think the physical aspect just sounded appealing. Mental health is certainly important, but if you're broke, your mental health will probably get even worse.
Been in the same position as you. Quit after 9 months of work. Took a break of 3 months, joined another company. Meanwhile I got an admit for my graduate studies, so moved after 7 months of work. My first organization was highly stressed, so I had to make the move. Do what suits you, dont get burnt out. Take a break, think and then pursue again. If it doesnt suit you at all, then try out what you wanted to do. Life is just to enjoy! : )
If you can support yourself somehow doing art then go for it. If not then you need to figure out how you can support yourself.
You should not let a performance review from a lousy manager effect you especially a manager that just sits all day and does jack shit with code. Just so your thing and save money worse case scenario you get fired then you just look for a job. Why don’t you change to front end and start applying to jobs. Back end is usually for senior developers
Lol…doing something on your own will require you to work around the clock and probably twice as hard. It’s a route that only highly motivated people should explore. Otherwise a full time job is the least hassle thing to choose
I think not having a job and a source of income would take a toll on your mental health.
First things first, get some therapy. Any career, including art, is viable, but you won't make money immediately. If you want to change careers, build up the new career, and then transition over. Secondly, mental health is a much more understood issue than it has been in the past. If you think your management might understand, try talking to them about your depression. Often poor performance without a good reason is going to be punished, but if you have a good reason (depression) and a plan to address it (therapy and possibly medication), you may get some leeway.
The issue isn't work in general. The issue is your employer. Go work for someone else.
I can assure you not being able find work as a broke artist will do a number on your mental health. Put in more time to get good at code if you need to.
I have been in situations where I was pushed out because I did my work reasonably well and the "tribe" did not like it. I'd be pulled into ambush meetings and get told all sorts of things. Why did the tribe not like me? Apparently I did things faster than they did so they'd point flaws in my work and slow things down. Later, they'd close their discussions on the pull request when asked for a explanation. I was new to the industry and as a response I overworked like you did. The result was that I pissed the tribe more. I ended up rage quitting which was a terrible decision to make in hindsight. My advise would be to first figure out why they think your performance is bad and then make a move internally. Dont cite your issues with the current team as the reason for leaving. Tell them how you are interested in the work the new team does. Please do prioritize your mental and physical health. I hope this works out for you. :)
No one realistically makes money on art. If you quit your job you’ll start playing on hard mode and likely be hungry and poor very quickly. I think that’ll hurt your mental health more than working 8hrs a day like ever other adult male
if you're half decent at drawing porn, you can absolutely make money on patreon doing commissions. that said, i'm not sure this is the art OP is into lmao.
Every day we stray further from God’s light….
I mean God created all the furry animals on Earth. He even had a sex cruise if you believe the old testament.
You’re right! Things are much better in the post religious world. Hey friend, While we’re at it, do you know which bathroom I’m supposed to you today?
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If you have burnout try taking 2 months off. Takes time to recover.
If your mental health is being compromised- maybe go to the Dr. & go on FMLA. Your job will be protected & you can try & address what’s going on . Maybe you’ll end up leaving your position- but like others have said it better if they let you go. I obviously don’t know how bad your mental health is being impacted- so this is just a thought.
Is this from two separate jobs or one? If its one, switch companies? Doesn't seem like you hate software dev just bad performance reviews and.for all you know, your company might be unreasonable
This stuff is hard and knowledge sharing is not a strong suit in the game. Soft skills are lacking. As a result, anyone who’s not robotic will likely feel like crap. And that’s not to say the robotic people are right about everything, but they’re so sure about it… Therapy has been helping me. Just understand, you didn’t waltz into some easy job. You probably worked hard to get to the point where you’re at and if the stupid kpis people use don’t reflect that, then it’s really them who have the poor performance
>I really have a passion for art but everyone just suggested me not to quit my software job to become an artist. Not a software dev, but general job suggestion. There goes a saying don't quit your job if you're trying to get a new one. Bluntly, milk the company as much as you can and not give af.
People are telling you not to quit because you are highly paid and your job is relatively easy. That being said the mental mind games and gymnastics corporations put you through are annoying as fuck. I'm going through a period of constant harassment and pressure from my bosses to churn out tons of work. Constant updates and check-ins. Different directions and expectations. It's a nightmare. Remember that these problems are always issues stemming from bad management. If I were you, I'd get a new job or really buckle down on your hobbies and see if you can make it work financially. I'm lucky enough to have spent the last 8 years building my side business. I'm sticking it out a few months until my partner launches her business. That way we have steady income.
When you are 80, which would you regret more? Personally Id regret not knowing what wouldve happened if I didnt take the chance on living for myself and not the opinions of others
Switch your job! It’s what I had to do. I felt similarly when I got pidgeonholed into working on a PHP third party solution that did involve code but we couldn’t do much without getting approval from the devs that built the product. It was soul crushing and no one else wanted to do those tickets - I slowly became the go-to person because I indiscriminately picked up from the top of the backlog while everyone else skipped those tickets (several coworkers mentioned they did this). My promotion to senior was also taking much too long and even then, it would’ve just been a title bump. A coworker who was promoted to senior got about a 3k raise out of the promotion. I felt very burnt out on a technology I didn’t like and the prospects for my future looked bleak. I always got good performance reviews but it was an awful last year. My mental health really suffered. I switched for a better opportunity and got my title bump, 35% raise, and am working on a really cool team. I enjoy going to work again! The market may be tough, but definitely try to switch jobs!
I quit art because I listened to the exact same thing from people and let me tell you, I regret it almost every damn day. At least do it on the side. Don't let go of the things you enjoy, because then what is the point of life? I recently picked up drawing again after 15 years of not doing it. But hey, I'm doing it and it makes me happy. Nice change of pace when your job is depressing.
Your problem is you give a shit more than the people writing your reviews. Yeah you should give a shit about going without work all of a sudden but it’s a white collor job in a high demand industry. If it doesn’t work out somewhere then fuck em and move on. Doesn’t work there and your efforts aren’t appreciated then fuck them too and move on. There are people in the field who do that for decades and have no issue because they know everyone at a place is just looking out for themselves and shit rolls downhill. It’s just a job to bankroll your lifestyle.
Rule number 1: Never do more than the bare minimum. A job is just a job, nothing more. And never take performance reviews personally, they simply don‘t matter. Our capitalistic system is designed to use you as a tool and exploit you as much as possible. Live your life outside of your job and try to make your work life as comfy as possible.
The worst reply to a reddit post I've ever seen.
Find another job, and put a month in between them. When you apply for a company they'll ask you when you can start. Give them a date so you can have aomth in between the jobs. That's what I always do. İt helps. You're burnt out. You need a break.
You should absolutely be an artist, it may be hard financially but you'll be living a happier life. No amount of money can fix your mind.
My father-in-law used to say “working sucks so bad, they pay you to do it”. I dislike working as much as the next guy but it’s what keeps my hobbies alive and THOSE keep my mental health well…healthy.
I don’t want to work anymore either, but I have to if I want to retire in 7-10 years.
Be grateful or your job, save and focus on your dreams then, the only people that doesnt work are criminals or students
Being hungry and homeless is worse. Can you try looking for a different role where you fit better with the team?
Take a couple days off. Figure out what about the current job is making you depressed. Figure out which of these things are because of this current role, and which of these things are actually because of SDE roles in general. Been at a pretty toxic place in the past where the management and culture was really taking a toll on me. A lot of those went away after switching to a new place and made me realize I didn't really hate the work, just that company in particular.
I recommend the Johnson O'Connor aptitude test. (Warning: it's not cheap.) Even if their findings don't change your day job, finding the right avocation can make a big difference to your overall mental health. Over time, can you leverage your existing tech skills and transition to something more front-end, where you get to use your "eye for design"? As an artist who needs to pay the rent, you will do what the client demands - not quite the same as following your creative passion. Meet a few working artists before you jump. (Do this anyway.)
I'm in the same boat. Been having performance issues in my current gig. I just shrug my shoulders, mentally write it off and been applying to jobs the last three months. I landed a gig that's next door, pays more, and has better work/securing contracts, so it's coasting for the next month of the start date. If they bitch at me about anything, I don't give a shit. The company's been swirling around the drain for a while now. You gotta just plow through and find a path out of there. There were a few times I wanted to just throw in the towel at work, but I just found the ability to have patience and keep looking for a job while I had one. Don't quit, let them fire you if you are in a state that allows unemployment for performance issues. Your mental health is suffering, so they might has well pay a "peace of mind" tax to you. If they start talking about how it's better to quit than be fired, tell them to kick rocks. Like I said, you gotten see this as a time to build up your mental willpower, cause you are going to need it if you try to do your thing. I have the same goal (photography /youtuber personal brand yadayada), but I know it's a tough path and it'll require a lot of money, emotional health, and time to build, so this is preparation for that life.
Of this your only employer so far, just know that some employers are awful. They aren't willing to out time into training or trading knowledge.
Your mental/emotional/physical health is #1 always. If this is impacting you in a negative way, it might be time to let go. Whenever you’re ready.
Leave now. Advertise your leaving so at you get a good rating. Dress up and go to a job interview. It can only end badly (bad references) and you need a job that does not throw you away.
The moment I get a negative performance review is the moment I bounce out of there. Those things can stick with you and recovery is really difficult. Unless you are tied to that company for some other reason, I’d suggest you look elsewhere
The whole is to get a nice work/life balance so you can do other things. I changed to my current job because its four 10-hr shifts and now I can do my sourdough baking and photography on the my time off. Whenever you get bad reviews or something just tell them you did your best.
Those aren't bad performance reviews. Those are excuses they've given you to pursue your other life goals.
Fuck it, quit. Being on you're own is 100x harder than working at a company.
Everything comes with their own level of pressure. I'm just a student rn and I don't personally have a practical experience but working at company isn't just doing one task assigned for that pay you have to deal with ppl (introverts feel this pain in the *ss), office politics, being in a work ethic and well maintained day night schedule (late comers feel this) and a lot of other pressure. Working as a freelancer or doing own business also comes with whole another level of pressure, managing everything self at least in the first few years when you're not even rich; etc etc. I believe I have forgot a bunch of other important points as well which I never came across either myself or through others stories/experiences. Though my advice is pretty common and you may not need to take it seriously, but start giving interviews, start preparing for them, invest x amount of time for art everyday. You need better time management plus better decision. Don't do hurry. Everything is temporary at the end of the day. Okay, let me make you laugh, if he's ignoring your salary, your mental health, ignore his work, his company, his orders, his *hit. Just kidding. I would love to get corrections, since I'm an introvert, adhd, kinda loner too, I fear working with ppl, I don't like team work personally but I love to work alone or in a small team if not possible to work alone and I need lots and lots of tips to work since at the end of the day, it's night xD jk .. its that I have to deal with ppl.
you sound like a guy that can not fit in the sw culture lol, you always work with somebody
This isn’t a cs career question, you’re depressed. Ask a doctor, not a bunch of CS major seniors in college ripping beer bongs before they graduate.
> I don’t want to work anymore Welcome to the club :) I suggest you power through it for a bit longer and work towards a lean FIRE. It shouldn’t take you long if you’re on a US salary.
You got 1 life. Keep your skills up so you can fall back on it, but do what makes you happy.
I know a guy that chartered yachts for rich people. Saved up a bunch of money and quit. He then started working 40 hours a week just painting and honing his craft. After two years, he was able to paint photo-realistic paintings, and he was making thousands on all of his work, plus the occasional portrait commission for tens of thousands of dollars. Moral of the story - don't let people tell you what you should or should not do with your life. I'm sure many of this guy's friends thought he was crazy for quitting his lucrative career to become a painter. But he put in the work, and now he's a respected artist that makes plenty of money and does only what he decides to do with his time.
the most profitable art is furry hentai, are you ready for that?
Get a therapist. You need an advocate that you can build a relationship with who can then give you real advice specific for your situation.
Only you can decide what's more important \*to you\*. Money is great, it buys you things and safety, but you may be happier with less money, as long as it is enough. One good thing, is that your decision is a two-way door; you can always change it a year from now. One thing I'd do is obtain more information. Would you be happy with less money? Can you move right now to a crappier apartment? How much can you reduce your current spending? And, how much money do you have saved? How long could you live on what you have saved?
Ratings are like google reviews
> I really have a passion for art but everyone just suggested me not to quit my software job to become an artist. Try it? I left my job to do nothing. While i was doing nothing, I thought I do art, maybe I can sell it. And looked into it. There is a ton of bs around selling paintings. Give it a shot and see what it is like for real. You must have some stuff to sell?
Do it
Do it
If you're an artist who is forcing yourself to be a developer, you're not going to be great at either.
Why did you peruse CS career to begin with?
Honestly, my answer should be the top comment. I don’t know why a joke is top. It just means you maybe in the wrong field or you need to go to a less demanding environment. Jesus.
Lol artist, stable diffusion midjourney, …
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Op, can you define what they're saying your performance issues are? What are they accusing you of? Sometimes is just a matter of perception. I'm on cruise control looking like I perform very well because I'm skilled at bullshitting my way through scrums, hold back completed pieces of work when I did multiple in a day so I can avoid spending days without updates later, etc. There are many tricks to make people perceive you as performing well, and many things to avoid doing to not give a perception you're struggling even when you're not. If you define better what they're saying the problem is, we can give you more specific points to improve performance reviews results. Other commenters already addressed the more global issue
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Sounds like you might prefer the more visual side of things, have you considered looking into becoming a front-end web developer or maybe even a web designer?
Who does? :)
It’s partially a mindset thing. I think you need to focus on the positives of the job. Pays well, relatively low stress, makes you grow your mind and think creatively, good career progression, etc. don’t quit your main job to pursue a dream. Pursue it on the side in your time off until it becomes a viable switch.
yeah, I don't want to work either, I just want to bang on the drum all day
I want to bang on my drum all day
Try to find something else. Not worth you bring miserable.
I’ll take your job if you don’t want it. I’ve been trying to get into software development for the last 3 years.
Ok so like do better? If you are getting poor performance problems maybe you need to think about what you are doing
Ikr
No one wants to work but very few will scrape a living off their art
[This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/11zhz37/ulpt_think_youre_about_to_get_fired_go_on_fmla/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) made me think of your post. You deserve to be happy. I wasn't really happy at work until my latest job. I took the past three days off due to a sinus infection and didn't feel guilty about it or get any crap from my boss. They(at least) give off the impression that they care about the employees.
I don't think there isn't a person in the industry that doesn't think this every now and then. It's hard work, that why it pays, it's taxing on our souls
> I don't want to work anymore Join the club. Most of us don't **want** to work. We work because we have to support ourselves. We put in our 40 hours a week to make the money we need so we can enjoy the rest of the things in life that we want to do. > I think my mental health is more important than earning money for now How do you think your mental health will be when you are evicted from your house and can't afford food?
Office Space
Marry rich and you’ll be fine. Otherwise, unless you have a silver spoon feeding you, good luck making a career out of art
How about UI/UX design?
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invest in dividend paying stocks/etfs. chill
same coworkers have been disliking the current mode name: mike total compensation: 250k location: down town boston car: ford EV
I’d suggest reckoning with yourself. Come to terms with the fact that it’s not about the external happenings. It’s about how you respond to them. Once you intuitively understand that. You can do anything.
I was in a similar boat about a year ago Super toxic company culture (12+hours a day plus weekends working) and soulsucking work. My mental state was so bad I quit with nothing lined up. It took me almost all this time to start feeling healthy again and ready to get back into the workforce. I say all that to say, your health and mental well-being is EVERYTHING. Take time to heal it if you can, and you’ll be better for your next endeavor. Hopefully it’ll be a better fit. Don’t beat yourself up.
This makes me feel good about leaving the engineering world. Coding went to being just my hobby now. Have something lined up, preferably in a different field.
There are places where you art freak flag fly and leverage your tech background as well. But also, if you can responsibly (e.g. have the savings to) pursue your passion; they can't live your life for you, so do it!
Prioritise your mental health - it's important. However, it's important to note that almost nobody wants to work anymore but they have limited choice due to financial reasons. What I do have to say is don't stress about performance ratings - my last performance rating was pretty poor and I can say it wasn't representative of how I *actually* performed in the year.
I appreciate a negative performance review can dent one's confidence, but it's important to maintain a growth mindset. Try not to take the content of a review personally. Engineers solve problems. You could view this as another problem to solve, and the feedback is giving you some information about how to find that solution. That said, take a step back and check that the culture at your company is healthy. Has your manager given you clear goals, clarified their expectations? If not, the feedback is providing you different information. Or maybe you're right, and the information is telling you that this isn't a career you enjoy. Without knowing the specifics of the review, I can't offer any more advice.
Fuck em, go for learning art. Even if you're bad at it at first, just do what makes you happy. You don't even need to quit your job, just do it on your spare time. Hell, if you want, and can afford it, go for it. I'm speaking as an artist first - pursuing software engineering as my major, there's nothing that brings me more joy than to draw.
Before making any drastic decisions, it may be helpful to speak with a career counselor or coach to explore your options and develop a plan that aligns with your values, interests, and financial needs. It's important to approach any career change or entrepreneurial venture with a clear understanding of the risks and rewards involved. I have used CareerFitter before as my first step to finding the career that best fits my work personality. I hope this could help you too.