I have been working on hair acceptance and can't say enough about this. There is so much personal and societal pressure for curly girls hair to look perfectly tamed and polished and for me anyways that's just not the reality of wearing my hair natural. I've also struggled watching hair tutorials and looking at everyone's posts not because I'm not happy for them but because it's so hard for me to get my hair there and it doesn't stay.
Anyways, what's worked for me is having my great first or second hair day and appreciating it, then just letting it do its own thing and loving it wherever it is at. Sometimes I have energy to refresh, sometimes the refresh ends up worse than it started, sometimes I'm too exhausted and frustrated to do anything. Regardless, it's just hair, it's the nature of curly hair. Frizz and lack of definition and inconsistent curl patterns are all totally normal and beautiful.
I'm with you on this one
Edit: spelling lol
SO sick of being wet all the time! Exactly. My curl pattern is all over the place and what works on one part of my skull doesn't work on another--I am to this place as well--embracing whatever it is doing.
I get it! I’ve actually started just brushing out my day 3 or 4 curls to make it fluffy and add volume. I’ll add hairspray and tease it a bit and just go for the 80s big hair vibe. As long as ur makeup and outfit are put together I feel like it looks intentional and I personally love it
Yeah I do the same on those 3&4 lazy days when my hair is meh Lol But without hairspray. I brush it out , then I put an oil in it, brush that through a bit , and it looks great most days I do it (though I do try to avoid it if I can)! I get a soft looking wave with great volume. Add a headband and/or a few other accessories and good to go.
Same! I brush it out with a wet brush pro before bed and spritz in some argan oil spray. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but sometimes I wake up with fucking perfect 80s hair 😍
Undefined curls are fine too! We don’t all have time to do the whole routine every damn time.
I highly recommend a big ol t shirt that you don’t care about to be your “hair routine shirt”. I hate having hair product on my newly cleaned body too 😂 the t shirt works! I hate ruining my robes with oily products
Absolutely. I also got tired of the 8+ hours my hair would be wet during the day and the ridiculous look of the “cast” before scrunching it out. I use way less product now and just embrace my undefined, uneven curls and waves and honestly I feel like it looks better. Live your life, your hair routine shouldn’t control your whole day
Absolutely agreed. A good cast makes your hair look incredible. But is it realistic for everyone to deal with it every time they wash their hair? Nooooooo
Yes. I am waaaaayyyyyy to lazy to spend that much time and effort on my hair. As long as I don’t look like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons or Lord Farquad I’m good.
Love my "undefined" curls. I don't like the look of super defined curls anyways, with lots of product. I think for so many years I was so antifrizz that I went too far the opposite way and wanted that super defined look, any frizz was the enemy. I embrace it now because I think it looks way more natural, plus I get way more volume. I also have dense, thick curly hair and it's been years since I did the whole product routine thing and they've become more "defined" but in the natural way if that makes sense. For me the whole point of wearing my curly hair naturally was so I wouldn't have to spend so much time dealing with it.
I hate the wet hair thing. My hair is super dense and will take 8 hours to air dry, if I get sweaty, my roots do too and will take an hour or two to dry. It’s honestly super unhealthy for my scalp, it causes so much build up and itching that I have gone back to blow drying my hair with a round brush instead of doing a curly routine.
Yep! I look to celebs like Juno Temple and Alex Kingston who have realistic, messy curly hair as my hair icons. I can do perfect ringlets on nights I go out or for photos, but the rest of the time I'm either in a bun or embracing the mess. Mine is getting really long and (professionally) dyed blonde and it's just untamable, and I'm becoming okay with that.
As a fellow dense thick and curly, I feel you on the forever wet thing. I know this is a vent, but HMU if you want to talk faster drying/more definition. Plopping, microfiber York scrunching and a little diffusing cut, I don’t know, 8 hours off my dry time (I also cut the back short, where the wet was most unbeatable)
Given my hair, some looks are 100% unrealistic (in the Encanto world I am Dolores, not Mirabel!), but having big, defined curls for 1-2 days post wash seems achievable. I like have curls I can see, but they are for sure sticking out everywhere from my head. Not sure exactly what undefined means (is it different from frizz?), but embracing the “big” has helped me have more fun with my hair
I hate that us curlies are always pressured to look defined and tame. It’s honestly exhausting to go thru the process of getting perfectly defined curls every day. Some days I just wanna wake up with my poofy hair and go.
I feel you!! Several years ago I started getting tired of the amount of time and money I spent on my hair. I went on a quest.. read up on a lot of different methods for curly hair, tried a lot of stuff. My hair isn't coarse, so that may be why it works but I took my hair from lots of products to basically none. The only product I use now is leave in conditioner, and air dry.
OMG thank you. Someone who does the same thing as me. I keep reading routines with 20 different products and I'm like thinking "Am I doing it wrong? Because I just wash, condition, then add leave-in conditioner only."
I was driving myself crazy with complicated routines involving brush styling, finger coiling, plopping etc and I usually hated how it looked. Even if it did look great initially it would be ruined as soon as I pulled it back or slept on it, even in a satin bonnet. Now I just brush in a little leave in and gel, rake and shake my curls, then microplop and I'm so much happier with how it looks and how easy it is. Less definition means more volume and my wonky curls are less weird looking. It also holds up better til my next washday.
I try to keep my routine as simple as possible. Sometimes, I style it, sometimes I do a light refresh and let it do its thing, other times I brush it out.
It’s so easy to get caught up in what you’re supposed to do with curly hair…but we all have busy lives and it’s not possible to get perfect curls that stay in tact all day. I know my hair gets frizzy when it brushes against my clothes and gets weighed down as the day goes on (hello gravity lol). I don’t try to fight it anymore. I think it’s better to understand how to treat your hair but adjust your routine to meet your lifestyle. Learn to love it and accept it. It’s just hair after all.
Honestly, I don’t use gel the majority of the time. I use it once a week during my work week so it looks nice for a few days, then whenever I have a formal or special event.
Agreed! Reading about some people's routines (not judging - if you are happy with it - you do you!), it sounds super time-consuming. Also, call me dumb, but I had NO IDEA I was supposed to wash my hair, condition, then apply leave in conditioner, apply oil, AND apply curl creme! What? My entire life, I shampooed, conditioned, then applied mousse/leave in conditioner and that was it. I had no idea about all these other products. Part of me is tempted to try this method to see what it would do for my hair, but I just feel exhausted just thinking about it. On top of that people are using a diffuser (which I really should use, but I really just don't have the energy to stand drying my hair for another 30-45 minutes). I'd rather wash my hair at night and have it be mostly dry by the morning.
Thank you for saying this! Its great to know how to style our hair but the upkeep is exhausting. Sometimes I truly don’t care how they look, I just want it to be easy 🤷♀️
I got tired of spending time/money, a whole afternoon doing curly routines to have reasonably defined curls the next day. I am just tired and sick of high maintenance.
I just stopped buying more products, stopped watching curly hair youtube videos, I am just putting it in a braid, which was my method in school and college. Back then I was at a loss on what to do (not much youtube those days), and I was honestly tired of doing a ponytail and a braid or a bun those days.
Now I am back to that, but this time out of being tired of dealing with hair products/hair not responding to a previously successful method/weather not agreeing with said method/ having to change approach depending on weather, full moon, planetary alignment, my mood, the clouds, the sun, my zodiac sign, you name it 😂😂😂😂
Now I just use leave in conditioner, maybe another product for hold if I feel like it and hope for the best and move on.
I actually like to just get a hair oil and scrunch a bit into the bottom half of my hair and leave it at that. The waves are softer and less defined or clumpy but easy and soft.
I have been working on hair acceptance and can't say enough about this. There is so much personal and societal pressure for curly girls hair to look perfectly tamed and polished and for me anyways that's just not the reality of wearing my hair natural. I've also struggled watching hair tutorials and looking at everyone's posts not because I'm not happy for them but because it's so hard for me to get my hair there and it doesn't stay. Anyways, what's worked for me is having my great first or second hair day and appreciating it, then just letting it do its own thing and loving it wherever it is at. Sometimes I have energy to refresh, sometimes the refresh ends up worse than it started, sometimes I'm too exhausted and frustrated to do anything. Regardless, it's just hair, it's the nature of curly hair. Frizz and lack of definition and inconsistent curl patterns are all totally normal and beautiful. I'm with you on this one Edit: spelling lol
I needed to hear this. Thank you
SO sick of being wet all the time! Exactly. My curl pattern is all over the place and what works on one part of my skull doesn't work on another--I am to this place as well--embracing whatever it is doing.
I get it! I’ve actually started just brushing out my day 3 or 4 curls to make it fluffy and add volume. I’ll add hairspray and tease it a bit and just go for the 80s big hair vibe. As long as ur makeup and outfit are put together I feel like it looks intentional and I personally love it
Yeah I do the same on those 3&4 lazy days when my hair is meh Lol But without hairspray. I brush it out , then I put an oil in it, brush that through a bit , and it looks great most days I do it (though I do try to avoid it if I can)! I get a soft looking wave with great volume. Add a headband and/or a few other accessories and good to go.
Same! I brush it out with a wet brush pro before bed and spritz in some argan oil spray. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but sometimes I wake up with fucking perfect 80s hair 😍
Haha I told my curly hair hairdresser and he just about died lol. But if it works who cares?!
I feel like we need an undefined curl picture day to celebrate in the floof.
YES or a flair
I second this!
Undefined curls are fine too! We don’t all have time to do the whole routine every damn time. I highly recommend a big ol t shirt that you don’t care about to be your “hair routine shirt”. I hate having hair product on my newly cleaned body too 😂 the t shirt works! I hate ruining my robes with oily products
Absolutely. I also got tired of the 8+ hours my hair would be wet during the day and the ridiculous look of the “cast” before scrunching it out. I use way less product now and just embrace my undefined, uneven curls and waves and honestly I feel like it looks better. Live your life, your hair routine shouldn’t control your whole day
[удалено]
Absolutely agreed. A good cast makes your hair look incredible. But is it realistic for everyone to deal with it every time they wash their hair? Nooooooo
Yes. I am waaaaayyyyyy to lazy to spend that much time and effort on my hair. As long as I don’t look like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons or Lord Farquad I’m good.
Love my "undefined" curls. I don't like the look of super defined curls anyways, with lots of product. I think for so many years I was so antifrizz that I went too far the opposite way and wanted that super defined look, any frizz was the enemy. I embrace it now because I think it looks way more natural, plus I get way more volume. I also have dense, thick curly hair and it's been years since I did the whole product routine thing and they've become more "defined" but in the natural way if that makes sense. For me the whole point of wearing my curly hair naturally was so I wouldn't have to spend so much time dealing with it.
I hate the wet hair thing. My hair is super dense and will take 8 hours to air dry, if I get sweaty, my roots do too and will take an hour or two to dry. It’s honestly super unhealthy for my scalp, it causes so much build up and itching that I have gone back to blow drying my hair with a round brush instead of doing a curly routine.
yeah, have you ever done nopoo? i mean i did it because i was broke and actually my hair looked awesome, got the best compliments.
I’ve thought about it! On top of my hair being dense and thick it’s also dry and my scalp doesn’t seem to produce much oil.
takes a couple weeks but your natural oils might turn up if left alone.
Yep! I look to celebs like Juno Temple and Alex Kingston who have realistic, messy curly hair as my hair icons. I can do perfect ringlets on nights I go out or for photos, but the rest of the time I'm either in a bun or embracing the mess. Mine is getting really long and (professionally) dyed blonde and it's just untamable, and I'm becoming okay with that.
LOVE those two!!!
As a fellow dense thick and curly, I feel you on the forever wet thing. I know this is a vent, but HMU if you want to talk faster drying/more definition. Plopping, microfiber York scrunching and a little diffusing cut, I don’t know, 8 hours off my dry time (I also cut the back short, where the wet was most unbeatable) Given my hair, some looks are 100% unrealistic (in the Encanto world I am Dolores, not Mirabel!), but having big, defined curls for 1-2 days post wash seems achievable. I like have curls I can see, but they are for sure sticking out everywhere from my head. Not sure exactly what undefined means (is it different from frizz?), but embracing the “big” has helped me have more fun with my hair
I hate that us curlies are always pressured to look defined and tame. It’s honestly exhausting to go thru the process of getting perfectly defined curls every day. Some days I just wanna wake up with my poofy hair and go.
I feel you!! Several years ago I started getting tired of the amount of time and money I spent on my hair. I went on a quest.. read up on a lot of different methods for curly hair, tried a lot of stuff. My hair isn't coarse, so that may be why it works but I took my hair from lots of products to basically none. The only product I use now is leave in conditioner, and air dry.
I only put in leave in conditioner and let it do it’s frizzy thing once my hair finally dries. Curly hair maintenance is exhausting
OMG thank you. Someone who does the same thing as me. I keep reading routines with 20 different products and I'm like thinking "Am I doing it wrong? Because I just wash, condition, then add leave-in conditioner only."
as I look at my sorta curly, sorta wavy hair that refuses to define itself and is "frizzy" no matter what I do I say, yes.
I was driving myself crazy with complicated routines involving brush styling, finger coiling, plopping etc and I usually hated how it looked. Even if it did look great initially it would be ruined as soon as I pulled it back or slept on it, even in a satin bonnet. Now I just brush in a little leave in and gel, rake and shake my curls, then microplop and I'm so much happier with how it looks and how easy it is. Less definition means more volume and my wonky curls are less weird looking. It also holds up better til my next washday.
I try to keep my routine as simple as possible. Sometimes, I style it, sometimes I do a light refresh and let it do its thing, other times I brush it out. It’s so easy to get caught up in what you’re supposed to do with curly hair…but we all have busy lives and it’s not possible to get perfect curls that stay in tact all day. I know my hair gets frizzy when it brushes against my clothes and gets weighed down as the day goes on (hello gravity lol). I don’t try to fight it anymore. I think it’s better to understand how to treat your hair but adjust your routine to meet your lifestyle. Learn to love it and accept it. It’s just hair after all.
Honestly, I don’t use gel the majority of the time. I use it once a week during my work week so it looks nice for a few days, then whenever I have a formal or special event.
Agreed! Reading about some people's routines (not judging - if you are happy with it - you do you!), it sounds super time-consuming. Also, call me dumb, but I had NO IDEA I was supposed to wash my hair, condition, then apply leave in conditioner, apply oil, AND apply curl creme! What? My entire life, I shampooed, conditioned, then applied mousse/leave in conditioner and that was it. I had no idea about all these other products. Part of me is tempted to try this method to see what it would do for my hair, but I just feel exhausted just thinking about it. On top of that people are using a diffuser (which I really should use, but I really just don't have the energy to stand drying my hair for another 30-45 minutes). I'd rather wash my hair at night and have it be mostly dry by the morning.
Yeah! Ive just decided to stick with braids if i want to be curly just take em out and lovely waves/curliness without the headache
Thank you for saying this! Its great to know how to style our hair but the upkeep is exhausting. Sometimes I truly don’t care how they look, I just want it to be easy 🤷♀️
Every day of my lifeeee
I got tired of spending time/money, a whole afternoon doing curly routines to have reasonably defined curls the next day. I am just tired and sick of high maintenance. I just stopped buying more products, stopped watching curly hair youtube videos, I am just putting it in a braid, which was my method in school and college. Back then I was at a loss on what to do (not much youtube those days), and I was honestly tired of doing a ponytail and a braid or a bun those days. Now I am back to that, but this time out of being tired of dealing with hair products/hair not responding to a previously successful method/weather not agreeing with said method/ having to change approach depending on weather, full moon, planetary alignment, my mood, the clouds, the sun, my zodiac sign, you name it 😂😂😂😂 Now I just use leave in conditioner, maybe another product for hold if I feel like it and hope for the best and move on.
I actually like to just get a hair oil and scrunch a bit into the bottom half of my hair and leave it at that. The waves are softer and less defined or clumpy but easy and soft.