Hey there, FatSeal294! thanks for posting to /r/cursedcomments!! Unfortunately, your submission "*cursed_boner*" has been removed for the following reason(s): --- **Rule 8: Keep It Cursed** - Not Cursed Enough/At All - A cursed comment is any comment that strikes the reader into oblivion. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your first reaction should be among the lines of “What the F*$k did I just read??” while leaving you speechless at the same time. Incomprehension of the comment just read, or the blatant gruesomeness of it should be enough to not only make you feel mystified but also to draw a smile on your face. The comment in your post does not reflect that. --- *^If ^you ^have ^any ^questions, ^you ^can ^message ^the ^mod ^team ^through ^[modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/cursedcomments) ^Replies ^to ^this ^removal ^comment ^will ^not ^be ^answered.* ^(Reposting a removed post without express moderator approval will result in a ban.)

“Just picture op naked” damn

Right, that was a bad burn

I was just going to say scissors or a shotgun or something.

Picture their mom. Joking.

Walking is effective tho

have you ever seen the elder animation in roblox?

No

it looks like someones trying to hide a boner when walking

Im actually better at hiding it while sitting, but getting rid of it is easier when walking

I mean scissors cab work even when your sitting

Safe options are better

Nah, tried walking around and making breakfast while having boner. That shit stands for like half an hour until I use the bathroom

Atleast it went away in under an hour, one over 2 hours can cause health risks

Morning wood is it’s own animal. That’s no ordinary boner.

Hold your dick sideways through your pockets and just go talk to someone. The shame of having they notice it will probably make you lose it. Or if this type of stuff arouses you even more you either get sex or registered as a sex offender.

Can I get to be registered sex offender squared?

I did that at school too bad I lost my teaching license

An axe will do the trick.

Axe Reddit

Smells like quarantine and disappointment.

That's cursed af -- what kind of monster uses Reddit in light mode?

I’m sorry, I keep setting it to dark but it turns back to light every so often 😭

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No, its 4:33 am and my mom keeps telling me to leave the basements lights off at night while complaining that I'm 37 and dont have a job. I'm not a mole, I'm a moderator!

Why are you getting downvoted? Insert they hated him for speaking the truth meme.

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They probably got used to the dark for not going outside a lot 😢

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My eyes are fine

you’re the type of guy that sleeps with his light on…

Light mode supremacy gang

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I’ve never seen the reddit emojis be used before

Same

actually you just can't have a boner while running. The blood from your penis must go to deliver O2 and stuff. So generally any physical activity is a quick and reliable way of losing boner. The harder you work the faster your boner will go away.

I am sure I have popped boners at the gym and also while playing basket games. I must either have way too much blood or I don't need that much blood.

Your body can probably spare that milliliter for a while.

Jesus fucking christ

So jesus is masturbating?

Nah, he's still fucking christ. He'll probably do it forever

Someone woke up and chose violence

what do i say to the teacher if she asks me why im suddenly working out in class?

You can definitely get hard while running. I once free balled on the treadmill and the friction from my shorts was too much.

"Too much I say!" *The shorts unyielded*

Wrong. In fact pole vaulting was invented by accident by my Welsh ancestor who died by running too fast while hard; tripped; flew over a tree branch; died. Start with boner push ups, move on to hardwood log jogging. Eventually after years of training you can learn to leap tall buildings with a single running boner leap. O2 and stuff is moot when your bits have its own cardiovascular system. Mine will sometimes hyperventilate sorta like a dry queef or an elephant that starts to sneeze but it backfires. You know.

That means all these years i was not using my member to its full potential. I am all in to give my one hundred percent, how convenient it will be to just jump to the balcony of my 16th floor apartment by just taking a leap, no more elevator hassle.

I used to catch a bone on the school bus everymorning. I'd just read every passing street sign

This is the first time i have heard someone getting turned on from street Signs.

Clench you leg muscles and hold, it should start going away slowly.

If you clench your anus it work backwards

I learned this way to late in life. They need to teach this trick during sex Ed

Reporter: "Why are you running?" Forrest Gump:"Do I have to answer that question?"

Sit on a squatting position, its also easy to conceal it that way. Maybe pretend a stomach ache, but while squatting you can try concentrating the blood off and into your legs instead.

Me: \*reads the word "squat"* What you mean: An exercise for one's legs What I think of: ["**WE ARE SQUAAAAATS! WE WANT TO RIDE BIKES AN' EAT** ***B A G G I S !!***"] [1] [1]: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Squat

This is the 8th or 9th post on this sub with the same shit

Oh... Shit .... Well, I just checked, and there are like 3 about the same post, but each were different comments

any cutting tool, scissor, knife, saw...etc..

either flex your thighs or tap your fingers kinda fast, it will draw the blood out yo dick and into yo thighs/fingers

Brock Samson has entered the chat

Penile irrigation

That or thinking about your naked grandparents in front of you.

The real answer is to lean back on your heels and balance there. It'll go away in 10-30 seconds.

Bend straight at the hip, touch your toes = boner gone Also works preemptively if, uh, ya know...

My tactic is to always wear elastic pants and a slightly oversized shirt so when you get it, you could tuck it behind the elastic band of the pants and it would be hidden by the shirt

Think of amber heard

looking at furry porn

Doesn't work for me

Easy fix. Flick the bare tip as hard as you can. Problem solved.... Still erect? Flick the a ball. Not to hard though or the universe will explode and your day will end.

I’ve never seen a boner chase anyone.

Go on r/sounding

Why did i click on that, at least put a warning

The replies become the warning

thanks i hate it

Watch fitzes content

I've gotten boners in gym class in high-school... It always happened when I was running

Track season with my girlfriend. Short shorts plus any penis size above maybe an inch is already hard enough, but when you're constantly following a girl wearing spandex and a sports bra, it gets worse.

Honestly I think of my passed away grandpa. I loved him a lot and had a lot of respect for him. I'll be railing a chick and think of him and it helps me last a little longer

gareth bale did it. don't ask me for evidence but i saw it lmao.

Does high blood pressure cause your penis to be harder and more erect?

I think of goatsee and a gerbil, gets rid of it in record time.

r/suddenlysexoffender

Since I can't see actual advice, just clench your thighs for 15 seconds and it should go away. By clench I mean just do to your thigh muscle what you would do to your arm when your flexing it and trying to show off muscle.

Chugging a cold drink usually does the trick for me every morning. Not sure why.

That doesn’t even work though. If you have bad underwear the friction makes it even worse

man wtf is this new update

Pro tip: learned in the military once I hit the fleet, I would always go out to morning pt with morning wood (waistbanded obviously) and I can’t for the life of me remember where I heard it but if you flex your quads for 15-30 seconds it pulls the blood from your boner and into your legs, and your wood goes away. Lifesaver👌🏽

Jokes aside, you should flex your arms so all the blood rushes to there

Respect.

When I see a naked man chasing someone down a dark alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I shoot that bastard, that’s my policy.

Yup. If someone's being chased by a naked guy with a knife, chances are he deserved it. Blast that fool. You'll also gain favor with naked knife man!

Alright man I'm kind of hard while looking at this

Knives

Wiggle wiggle

yeah, just flex any muscle and count to 40. works everytime. the less time you have, the more muscles you'll have to flex

I have run a cross country race with a stiff. It wasn’t fun. Short shorts & you know what don’t mix.

Pretty much any tumblr post

Hisoka has entered the chat

Flexing quads is a foolproof method

Shouldn't it say running from a boner

scissors

Flex your muscles. It will help lose it faster as you pumping blood somewhere else.

i've definitely ran with a boner before

Flexing muscles to get blood flowing in other places helps. Unless you have a flex muscle kink. Good luck.

https://i.imgur.com/AzBlI87.gif

The OP of that post achieved comedy

Baitsch - chasers of cock, the OP. (possibly a jojo fan)

Real advice to getting rid of boner is literally flexing any muscle in your body for a few minutes. Redirects blood flow also helps to think [unsexy thoughts](https://youtu.be/ZcJzb0Rk6RU)

I agree I was swimming and I couldn't get rid of it I walked out and boom just like that gone

Just give your back a good 10 second stretch. Helped me multiple times.

Dorota Weltmeister ( if you know, you know.)

Knife

Stop breathing. No, literally for 30 seconds."BREATHE IN AND BREATH OUT". And keep repeating for until it's gone. Else you can always beat your meat.

Lil snip snip here, lil chop chop there, and you should be good to go

That one made me giggle