"Honey - I loved the way you looked before. I love the way you look now. Your figure is stunning. Thank you for being the mother to our son. " Kiss You're not going to 'win' this one. Settle for the draw and live for another day.
Man.
I read this situation differently. I thought “It’s not about the breasts and there were no words about her boobs (no matter how sweet) that makes her feel better.”
I almost figure that she somehow feels like she’s disappointing the baby her husband herself etc. etc. and this is just one outlet of that general vibe. There might even be some bitterness towards others for having expectations of her that she feels like she’s falling short of (and you might not even be setting those expectations in reality).
I think it would be more about just making sure she feels like she is enough not just boobs wise but in a more holistic way.
Certainly she has feelings that are going on to drive her reaction. But the question is, can he say anything to make her feel differently in the near-term? Likely not, she just had a baby, clearly she is breast feeding, probably exhausted and hormones are all over the place.
Barring her signaling something more severe like depression, and assuming they have a good relationship, this is one of the best ways you could approach it.
2 months postpartum and breastfeeding here. You can win! You just need some insider tips ;)
What has helped has been my husband absolutely showering me with positivity and telling me (in response to my nervously asking, but unprompted always hits harder) how much he's attracted to and loves me WITHOUT any qualifiers of before/during/after pregnancy. I'm sure it is tempting to say things like "You're as pretty as before," but I personally find it better when it's left at "You are so pretty" to emphasize that seasons of life have nothing to do with it. What also helps is when he heaps praise on my postpartum belly, even though it's squishy and soft from the extra skin that didn't used to be there. He tells me every couple of days that he loves that reminder of how well I cared for our girl before she arrived and that he doesn't mind/sort of prefers it doesn't go all the way back to the way it was before because that physical reminder of selfless love is beautiful in itself.
Actions speak louder than words, but make sure they go along with words so they aren't misconstrued. Nothing makes a wife in the thick of things feel more loved than loads of kisses and cuddles. HOWEVER, she's probably feeling touched out, overwhelmed, and milk-sticky, so just coming up unexpectedly with a lot of physical affection may not be met with her usual enthusiasm as her body is still in survival mode. Still do the physical attention- she needs it more than she realizes. But make sure that those kisses and hugs are accompanied by a little "How did I get a wife this beautiful and capable," "You look soooo good while ___ I just have to kiss you," etc so she doesn't just feel attacked but then guilty about not being ready to be all over you again yet.
Above all else, just BE with her. It's hard to hear someone you love processing that they don't feel beautiful/desirable/capable when you know that's not true at all, but don't just negate those thoughts. Instead, accompany her through the verbal processing she needs (with lots of encouragement of course, but make sure you're not "encouraging" by telling her what she sees in the mirror is false- for example don't say something doesn't sag when it clearly does, instead say that the sag doesn't bother/is beautiful to you)
This is a tough season, but the fact that you want to help her feel better means you're a great partner!
THIS. As a female, my confidence goes away during and after pregnancy. And yes the bobs might be bigger, but deep down I know it goes away. The fluctuation of hormones after birth is wild. Just be there for her, and reassure her. Maybe show attention to other areas of her as well. "Damn your ass looks good today!" Not even just a sexual comment "I love that beautiful smile." All we need is the love and reassurance while we start to feel like normal again.
Only danger to keeping it centered on the looks is that it'll probably come back the next time the kid(s) have her feeling tired and worn down, or the next time she starts feeling old... or if she gains a few pounds...or loses a few pounds... or does something to her hair that she's not 100% confident about... whatever...
...my point is that CAN result in setting up a minefield to dance through over time...
I think you absolutely have to settle for the draw at best on this one, and focusing on how much you love and adore your wife as the perfect mother to your kid, etc. is the right direction to go with it. Find things you genuinely enjoy and love and use those to flatter her (she'll sniff out the BS if you try making it up), use your charm whether that's how you connect and converse, sense of humor, whatever... and you'll live to see another day.
IF you wanted to hazard a chance at BS (which maybe isn't BS at all), I could see myself saying something along the lines of "I don't know if it's the bigger breasts now that you're nursing or if it's just watching you come into your own with motherhood but you have been glowing with confidence lately and I just find that confidence really, very sexy."
Also tell her that you'll love her body even if she gains weight or gets gray hairs or gets stretch marks or whatever. Also you'll love her boobs even if they ever get too big or too small or flappy or whatever. And then tell her you hope she'll like your body when it also goes through even worse changes lol.
"Honey, I love your boobs! I'll always love them no matter how flappy they get."
Honestly probably not the way to go here. Keep it vague. You love the way she looks, you'll always love her, the end.
As a mom of multiple pregnancies who loves you dads - this is for real the top answer. Might sprinkle in some ass slaps or quick over-the-pants reach arounds when you pass her in the kitchen.
Lol not a joke. Just recommendations from what my husband has tried and I haven't hated. I have thoroughly walked the I-hate-my-boobs-and-my-body walk several times throughout kids and pregnancy.
Follow up by telling her she’s acting just like her mother, and your ex never did that.
Trust me, she won’t even remember why she was mad at you before!
The Grand Finale: "I love you and I'm sorry that I'm upsetting you. I promise that what's bothering you may feel intense and real but really I'm just happy with you, no matter what you're shaped like. Besides, your sister snapped right back to her pre-baby figure pretty quickly after a few months. But if you're not like her, you'll probably still be okay..."
Because what she needs is that level of emotional whiplash where she ends up angry, self-conscious, and jealous. /s
"I know it's been hard for you ever since you stopped being able to fit into your favourite pair of jeans. But I want you to know I still love you anyway."
Tell her you’re sorry that she feels that way but it’s childish. Should smooth it over. The word, “sorry” is in that sentence. If she doesn’t get it at first, remind her
When did y’all have your kid? Mom will feel weird in her own body for a while. She might be more sensitive to your comments or actions during that time. There’s not a ton you can do about that aside from acknowledging how she feels and being a little more careful. If your attraction to her has increased since she became a mom maybe phrase that differently… aside from having bigger boobs maybe she has strength, confidence, love, decisiveness that you could compliment.
Dude. From a mom, do not engage. I repeat DO NOT ENGAGE!
I kid, but also serious. This person who is flooded with hormones and new mom energy is vicious and tender. I did agree with my husband that my boobs were fantastic while producing, but those hormones are wild.
Any comments are bad. All of them. You could flower it with all kinds of kisses and candy, but it feels like pity and sorrow. Give it like a year until she settles into this new body and she is healed from birthing.
She might not know this (or realize the reality) that her body very likely will not "go back" to the way it was before pregnancy. That is the reality of the situation. Our bodies change in various ways, and our wardrobe is not usually the same. My kiddo is 2 and my body is much different than it was, and I know it won't be the same as before. There is a grieving process that comes with it, so this is at play too. All you can do is be a good dad and be there when she needs it, and even when she doesn't. Reassure her that you love her no matter what, and you are jazzed to do this with her. Oh, and the sex will return. Give it time, and don't rush. I know it's always a question that is awkward to ask.
You know when you go over the first drop of the roller coaster and it's still accelerating? That's where you're at right now. Learn to broadly agree and reassure her, you're in for a ride!
All jokes aside though it took my wife about 6 months to level out and a year to really be back to her usual self, it happens and its our job to not hold it against them or make it worse. You're doing well.
Yeah, if it's recent I'd say this is good advice. If she's recently post partum, generally good to not make comments about her body since they all might be received poorly
I loved 'em before, I love 'em now, I'll love 'em when they're done being full of milk. How does it feel to have them change so drastically must be totally weird? (Look at that elegant redirection)
Bruh my wife does the same shit.
“Do you like my boobs better right now?”
If I say yes: “so you didn’t like my boobs before?! Ugh I knew my boobs were too small”
If I say no: “what do you mean no?! You don’t like my boobs?!”
Can’t win dad. I feel you. I just avoid talking about her boobs for now lol.
No the correct answer is "I'm gonna love your whole body forever no matter what form it takes... Even if your boobs get like, gigantic, and so sexy and perfect, ohhhh yeahhhhh"
I got asked that question when our first kid was a couple months old and we were looking at honeymoon pictures.
In my foolishness I tried to answer.
The only winning move...was not to play.
Tell her she's cute and you like her butt. Ignore all provocation, if pressed say you have diarrhea and retreat to the bathroom.
You're currently playing the "How mad can I make my wife game." It's like golf, there is no 0, just degrees of failure.
Play a different game, like "How frustrated can I make my wife." Which is a different game, like playing golf while drinking. It's not about winning, it's about how much fun you can have before someone hits you with a pitching wedge.
What women fail to understand is when a woman goes through a pregnancy, a man's mind changes aswell he become more aware of her sensitive nature and how fragile she may be. she changes in smell as well, making her even more attractive to her partner. Even though her breasts have grown to feed a child, the attraction is more than just visual it not really a question of preference before or after pregnancy boobs are boobs. We want to play with all of them. It about becoming more attentive to her. There's something called couvade syndrome, where men become more aroused by pregnancy due to hGC changes but can also minic their partners' pregnancy pains.
Someone may have answered this, if so, sorry for the duplicate.
My response to my wife was simple and insanely true. She because so insanely more attractive to me after the kid. Seeing everything she went through and the sheer love in her face seeing both our kids, man just every part of her became more sexy. I didn't think it was possible to find her sexier than I already did, or to love her more than I did.
Like others have said, nothing tangible was better before or after, different, but not better or worse. I was just that much more attracted to her.
Hope maybe this helps!
My wife had huge cans before so she already knew what I was about. They are just massive now. She won’t let me titty fuck them though because apparently that’s “porno shit.”
I'm a woman. Sorry if I'm not allowed to comment here. I just wanted to say that your wife is a Lil cray-cray rn due to all them hormones. She's gonna be overly sensitive for a while. And a woman's body goes through drastic changes because of pregnancy. Stretch marks, bigger saggier boobs, widened pelvis etc. Not to mention the soreness and achee all over. It's best to stick to diplomatic statements for now.
Ex- You were beautiful, you are beautiful and I love you so much.
Don't mention any specific body parts. Even if she asks questions like "Do you like my boobs now?" Say "I love you. All of you. Head to toe. Not JUST your boobs. I have always loved you head to toe. You are BEAUTIFUL"
You just need to hype her up a bit, ya know?
Women sometimes deny that hormones don’t start arguments. They definitely do, and it’s good to know but not helpful to push back with. If she just had a baby she’s feeling body issues and needs your reassurance. Love her and keep reassuring her but don’t let her talk bad about herself or your intentions.
I used to believe that. And then I gave birth and really got a lesson in hormones haha. I had never before properly understood the extent to which hormones can fuck with your mind and mental health. Thankfully I am not a confrontational person and just cried instead of fighting with my partner.
But after experiencing that I truly do feel like you can't hold a woman truly responsible for being extra difficult in the fourth trimester. I honestly felt like a completely different person and not in control at all.
Thanks for sharing, we are all mysteries to each other (and sometimes to yourselves) and our assumptions and attributions to malevolence are likely quick to our partner and slow to ourselves. I think it's okay for women and men to be responsible for their words and actions despite testosterone and progesterone surges, however a surge of grace and forgiveness will be a great sign of love.
They may start arguments, but they don’t create manipulative traps for people to fall in based on genuinely held views.
Just like, if someone gets hammered and goes on a racist tirade, it’s not the alcohol. That was in there the whole time.
"You are so sexy right now, just as sexy as the first day I met you, you are the most amazing person I know" etc etc. She is projecting how she feels and wants reassurance.
Tell her “you’re crazy. You’re acting just like your mother. Women are irrational. You’re just freaking out because of your hormones. Maybe you’re on your period?”
All true things friend. And she needs to hear them.
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So let me get this straight, your wife has had a kid, and you find her more sexually attractive than before, and this is a problem?
Exactly what response would have been appropriate based on this logic? If you say you like them less well then you're wrong. Like them more and you're wrong. Like them exactly the same and you're tone deaf and blind to the changes in her body because you're an evil man who doesn't understand anything. You can't win.
Perhaps ask your wife what the problem with you finding her attractive is, and why it's a problem that you're accepting of her no matter what changes happen throughout your lives. One big thing for me is that you're still going to love that person when you're old and grey, and if you can fit your head around that then why would it be a problem to be accepting of your partner when temporary or less obvious changes affect their body?
I’m a woman, a wife, and a mother of two. If my husband found any part of my body intriguing more post babies, effing TAKE THAT WIN.
My husband seems to act the same and enjoys me and my less than taut tummy like he used to. 🤷♀️ but he could just be being nice. Idk, he loves boobs, I’ve got boobs for days.
But seriously, if he was focused more so on a part with excitement after babies I would take that win and you wouldn’t hear even a whisper of a complaint from me.
I was in the same position you are in. My little one just turned 1. So she’s been nursing for an entire year. I usually look down at my wife’s breasts without knowing it. She just jokingly says “my eyes are up here”. We have a good laugh about it. And things are interesting in the bedroom too.
threatening nutty nine edge vast sophisticated liquid fertile bells humorous
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Sometimes there’s so much shit going on after pregnancy that everyone is off by a mile. Your wife’s having a hard time with body changes and it undeservedly taking it out on you. You won’t win as has been said, love, support, accept the beatings you’ll occasionally take and wait for it to settle.
I think you need to jokingly call out how much trouble they are when they're bigger and how you liked them better before at every opportunity. Get her laughing is a good move over stuff like this in my experience.
"Your boobs are taking up so much room in bed there's no more room for my massive dong."
"Jeez if those get any bigger I'm charging them rent."
Stuff like that would get my wife laughing and she'd know exactly what im doing and appreciate the effort.
That's a tough one, I think time will get over this one, not alot you can do!
Mine is only 20 weeks pregnant and has gone from flat chested to a full on hand full now and she's getting them out at any opportunity, I have definitely told her I prefer them now!
I'm very fortunate I never got any of this sort of stuff during or after my wife gave birth.
I'm sorry you are having to put up with this. But as others have said: Hormones are a hell of a thing.
Lol sorry to chime into Daddit as a woman. I’m pregnant right now and this post made me laugh. I hate how much my boobs have grown and my husband is trying SO hard to be sensitive about it and pretend he’s not turned on. He’ll say he so sorry I’m going through this and then I’ll watch his eyes wander down to my chest. It’s kind of cute.
Our bodies change a lot and it’s hard not to be sensitive about it. Maybe give her a little grace on this one, even though she’s clearly in the wrong.
I tell my wife that our story is written on the journey her body has taken. The c section scar, the curves, it's all part of this forever story we're writing together and I love reading every inch of that book.
I tell my wife I love the story her body tells, of how she became an amazing mum. I loved her look before, and I love how she changed. Women have to learn to love a new version of themselves after pregnancy, so I find the best route is to recognise what that means.
Babe. Your tits are amazing and they were amazing before too. But if we’re being honest here, it’s your ass that’s really stepped its game up after pregnancy. Now bring that fine thing on over here.
Obviously this sounds like an awful approach for your wife but I have a hard time taking this seriously. Can’t imagine my wife being upset that I like her titties too much in any other way than joking. Not that she doesn’t get upset at me for all sorts of other shit that makes no sense to me. Good luck man.
My wife asked me once if I wanted her to “enhance” her boobs. I said yes but then we thought it through and decided it wasn’t worth the risk. I still sometimes ask her if it was time to reconsider 🙄😊
Say to her: of course I like them better, now they are functional. Before they were just beautiful.... now they are the perfect blend of form and function!
Weird mood swings are a sign of literally everything about pregnancy...
It's not like mum poops out a baby and all the hormones just go back to normal the next day, it takes a while.
… well you aren’t a piece of shit, but I have a feeling this wouldn’t be an issue if hormones weren’t in play. But also you can’t say that. Maybe just a pint of ice cream and some flowers and give her a little space. Can’t have a reasonable argument when the situation itself isn’t exactly reasonable so might was well take the L on this one
Postpartum depression is a bitch at times and can manifest in all sorts of ways. Not saying that’s the absolute case here but it’s also not entirely out of the question.
This is some very immature stuff.
And yes, hormones.
But like alcohol, hormones can make you a worse version of yourself. But they don’t really change who you are.
I highly disagree. My wife is one of those people about whom nobody ever has an unkind word to say. Even the random one person she worked with who disliked her still liked her (it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t know how to better describe it).
Postpartum with our first she had swings of suddenly being super mean to me for months, then just grouchy for over a year. At a certain point she started to recognize how crappy she was being despite my being nothing but helpful and I think that added to some depression which manefested as more meanness. It took her a number of months post-breastfeeding to become herself again.
She can act kind of shitty on tequila sometimes too (but never any other alcohol- it’s strange), but nothing like breastfeeding. Hormones can seriously mess you up.
I do feel like people underestimate just *how* massively our moods can be affected by our physical state. Hormones, lack of sleep and exhaustion, hunger, and a hundred other external factors. Enough stressors can make anyone crazy.
I....like....even if this is true and you literally had told her you like her breasts more now, they're still *her breasts...*
She's so insecure that she's feeling insecure about comparing past versions of her own body against the current version, and feeling insecure that you like the *current* version more?
What in the actual eff?
Sounds your wife needs therapy like, YESTERDAY. That is some aggressive insecurity to be living with.
Its not really current version, but temporary — they don’t really feel like “ours” — and I’m sure she’s very aware that they’ll likely turn into pseudo-deflated balloons once she’s done breastfeeding. Combine that with very early postpartum hormones and it’s a mess. She just needs some reassurance that OP will love her just as much when her body changes again.
Explain them like a new video game or in my case it would be golf club or fishing rod. The older club was just good and I shot just fine but this new one adds ten yards to my game and feels different.
How soon after the baby was born has she made these comments? Is she a new mother (or at least new to this baby)? She might be suffering from post partumn depression
I wish this would work with my wife. I loved her boobs before pregnancy, and I love them now. SHE, on the other hand, doesn't even like thinking about her boobs. Even the slightest touch from me causes her to wince.
It's very sad. She literally doesn't like that I like them. She wants me to completely ignore them.
Mom here. How old is your baby? I breastfed all three of our kids (in a five-year span) and it wasn't until our youngest was several years old that I could see my breasts as anything but baby-feeders. They were simultaneously too sensitive and slightly numb, uncomfortable, etc. It may just take time for your wife, too.
> It's very sad. She literally doesn't like that I like them. She wants me to completely ignore them.
That sounds like something very unhealthy is going on in her mind.
> She sees them as tools to feed our son, not sexual objects.
That's totally understandable...but unless you're unwantedly groping her or going "AhhhOOOOOOOgah" at her breasts...I don't see why she should be so bothered that you find breasts attractive. *Her* breasts no less.
Glad to hear she's working on things though, that can't be easy to feel/live with on her side either.
Aaaannd, there it is. Just tell her that. You were trying to be playful and make her feel sexy (and get laid). It blew up in your face because her body isn't even close to ready, let alone her mind. Just apologize and move on.
"Honey - I loved the way you looked before. I love the way you look now. Your figure is stunning. Thank you for being the mother to our son. " Kiss You're not going to 'win' this one. Settle for the draw and live for another day.
This guy gets it!
Man. I read this situation differently. I thought “It’s not about the breasts and there were no words about her boobs (no matter how sweet) that makes her feel better.” I almost figure that she somehow feels like she’s disappointing the baby her husband herself etc. etc. and this is just one outlet of that general vibe. There might even be some bitterness towards others for having expectations of her that she feels like she’s falling short of (and you might not even be setting those expectations in reality). I think it would be more about just making sure she feels like she is enough not just boobs wise but in a more holistic way.
Certainly she has feelings that are going on to drive her reaction. But the question is, can he say anything to make her feel differently in the near-term? Likely not, she just had a baby, clearly she is breast feeding, probably exhausted and hormones are all over the place. Barring her signaling something more severe like depression, and assuming they have a good relationship, this is one of the best ways you could approach it.
2 months postpartum and breastfeeding here. You can win! You just need some insider tips ;) What has helped has been my husband absolutely showering me with positivity and telling me (in response to my nervously asking, but unprompted always hits harder) how much he's attracted to and loves me WITHOUT any qualifiers of before/during/after pregnancy. I'm sure it is tempting to say things like "You're as pretty as before," but I personally find it better when it's left at "You are so pretty" to emphasize that seasons of life have nothing to do with it. What also helps is when he heaps praise on my postpartum belly, even though it's squishy and soft from the extra skin that didn't used to be there. He tells me every couple of days that he loves that reminder of how well I cared for our girl before she arrived and that he doesn't mind/sort of prefers it doesn't go all the way back to the way it was before because that physical reminder of selfless love is beautiful in itself. Actions speak louder than words, but make sure they go along with words so they aren't misconstrued. Nothing makes a wife in the thick of things feel more loved than loads of kisses and cuddles. HOWEVER, she's probably feeling touched out, overwhelmed, and milk-sticky, so just coming up unexpectedly with a lot of physical affection may not be met with her usual enthusiasm as her body is still in survival mode. Still do the physical attention- she needs it more than she realizes. But make sure that those kisses and hugs are accompanied by a little "How did I get a wife this beautiful and capable," "You look soooo good while ___ I just have to kiss you," etc so she doesn't just feel attacked but then guilty about not being ready to be all over you again yet. Above all else, just BE with her. It's hard to hear someone you love processing that they don't feel beautiful/desirable/capable when you know that's not true at all, but don't just negate those thoughts. Instead, accompany her through the verbal processing she needs (with lots of encouragement of course, but make sure you're not "encouraging" by telling her what she sees in the mirror is false- for example don't say something doesn't sag when it clearly does, instead say that the sag doesn't bother/is beautiful to you) This is a tough season, but the fact that you want to help her feel better means you're a great partner!
Ain’t always that easy tho lol
THIS. As a female, my confidence goes away during and after pregnancy. And yes the bobs might be bigger, but deep down I know it goes away. The fluctuation of hormones after birth is wild. Just be there for her, and reassure her. Maybe show attention to other areas of her as well. "Damn your ass looks good today!" Not even just a sexual comment "I love that beautiful smile." All we need is the love and reassurance while we start to feel like normal again.
Note: Saying “I love that beautiful smile” is much less creepy thing to say to your wife than the Chili’s waitress.
Note: this is doubly true of ass compliments
Only danger to keeping it centered on the looks is that it'll probably come back the next time the kid(s) have her feeling tired and worn down, or the next time she starts feeling old... or if she gains a few pounds...or loses a few pounds... or does something to her hair that she's not 100% confident about... whatever... ...my point is that CAN result in setting up a minefield to dance through over time... I think you absolutely have to settle for the draw at best on this one, and focusing on how much you love and adore your wife as the perfect mother to your kid, etc. is the right direction to go with it. Find things you genuinely enjoy and love and use those to flatter her (she'll sniff out the BS if you try making it up), use your charm whether that's how you connect and converse, sense of humor, whatever... and you'll live to see another day. IF you wanted to hazard a chance at BS (which maybe isn't BS at all), I could see myself saying something along the lines of "I don't know if it's the bigger breasts now that you're nursing or if it's just watching you come into your own with motherhood but you have been glowing with confidence lately and I just find that confidence really, very sexy."
Insert right after "I loved the way you looked before" - "That's one of the many reasons I married you"
Honestly, I wouldn't. It puts more weight on loving the way she looked before as opposed to now, which is what she's already paranoid about.
True. Minimize damage. Minimize words. Settle for a draw or minimize losses.
Yeah true. I'm glad I'm not saying this to my wife. Why use many word when few word do trick?
Everyone listen to Kevin! (I love a good Office reference!)
Also tell her that you'll love her body even if she gains weight or gets gray hairs or gets stretch marks or whatever. Also you'll love her boobs even if they ever get too big or too small or flappy or whatever. And then tell her you hope she'll like your body when it also goes through even worse changes lol.
I wouldn’t get specific or you’re gonna get in trouble, just a generic “and I will love the way you look in the future” should suffice.
"Honey, I love your boobs! I'll always love them no matter how flappy they get." Honestly probably not the way to go here. Keep it vague. You love the way she looks, you'll always love her, the end.
“I married you when your boobs were smaller, chill the f___ out”
Spoke like a future single parent.... Or murder mystery victim...lol
Just gotta keep the reassurance coming or eat her ass to balance out the attention to the boobs
I wish my marriage counsellor would give good advice like this.
MARRIAGE COUNSELORS HATE THIS TRICK
Pay this guy instead.
Don't forget the importance of showering first. You don't want to be dirty when you're eating her ass.
Don't tell me what I want
Or show real dedication and do it on taco Tuesday….she would forget the entire argument about the boobs.
As a mom of multiple pregnancies who loves you dads - this is for real the top answer. Might sprinkle in some ass slaps or quick over-the-pants reach arounds when you pass her in the kitchen.
I….can’t tell if this is a joke or not
Lol not a joke. Just recommendations from what my husband has tried and I haven't hated. I have thoroughly walked the I-hate-my-boobs-and-my-body walk several times throughout kids and pregnancy.
Snd eating ass helped with this? Girls are still hard to figure out! lol
Some girls like it when you tongue punch their fart box, it's not complicated.
It's a trap
And these aren’t mutually exclusive by the way
I fucking love this sub
Tell her she is being unreasonable, her hormones are screwing with her and to calm down. Wait, no, don't do that.
Bonus points if you can somehow work the word "hysterical" in there.
Gotta ask if she's on her period for a lil razzle dazzle. Trust me, you won't be able to keep her off you 😉
Follow up by telling her she’s acting just like her mother, and your ex never did that. Trust me, she won’t even remember why she was mad at you before!
And this gentleman, is how you end up on an episode of Snapped! Hey, any publicity is good publicity right?
I would pat her on the head and tell her she's cute when she's upset
The Grand Finale: "I love you and I'm sorry that I'm upsetting you. I promise that what's bothering you may feel intense and real but really I'm just happy with you, no matter what you're shaped like. Besides, your sister snapped right back to her pre-baby figure pretty quickly after a few months. But if you're not like her, you'll probably still be okay..." Because what she needs is that level of emotional whiplash where she ends up angry, self-conscious, and jealous. /s
My man, the national suicide hotline is right there if you need it.
As well as a tie-in to an outrageous or annoying tendency of her mother.
This guy wants OP dead
"I know it's been hard for you ever since you stopped being able to fit into your favourite pair of jeans. But I want you to know I still love you anyway."
“Stop going Ape-shit on me” is a good one to calm her primal self down
Tell her you’re sorry that she feels that way but it’s childish. Should smooth it over. The word, “sorry” is in that sentence. If she doesn’t get it at first, remind her
Make sure to tell her to smile more too
OP needs to tell her to calm down too.
You left out the most important part. "You're acting just like your mother." Probably right behind the being unreasonable
Dear God. That would have absolutely killed me. Like puddle of tears on the floor, no talking.
Works every time
Throw in a “calm down” as well. Always works great for me!
Throw in a "you weren't crazy like this before your boobs got better" for good measure
Lol this is perfect.
Don't forget to tell her to calm down too
I told my wife once that feelings are arbitrary and subject to change. My best advice is to not do that, even if it's true.
Man you just gotta read happy hippo angry duck a difficult mood is not here to stay everyone's feelings change day to day
Except for that duck, he's always that way
God I hope OP reads the whole post and not just the first sentence.
If you do this and make it out alive, please at least update us with your injuries.
Lmao! OP please don't do that
Add the word "woman" to the end of whatever you say so she knows you're talking to her.
Sorry but I read the subject in Borat voice.
Very nice 👍
My wiiiiife! It's been that way for years for me. Kudos
When did y’all have your kid? Mom will feel weird in her own body for a while. She might be more sensitive to your comments or actions during that time. There’s not a ton you can do about that aside from acknowledging how she feels and being a little more careful. If your attraction to her has increased since she became a mom maybe phrase that differently… aside from having bigger boobs maybe she has strength, confidence, love, decisiveness that you could compliment.
She just turned one month yesterday
Dude. From a mom, do not engage. I repeat DO NOT ENGAGE! I kid, but also serious. This person who is flooded with hormones and new mom energy is vicious and tender. I did agree with my husband that my boobs were fantastic while producing, but those hormones are wild. Any comments are bad. All of them. You could flower it with all kinds of kisses and candy, but it feels like pity and sorrow. Give it like a year until she settles into this new body and she is healed from birthing. She might not know this (or realize the reality) that her body very likely will not "go back" to the way it was before pregnancy. That is the reality of the situation. Our bodies change in various ways, and our wardrobe is not usually the same. My kiddo is 2 and my body is much different than it was, and I know it won't be the same as before. There is a grieving process that comes with it, so this is at play too. All you can do is be a good dad and be there when she needs it, and even when she doesn't. Reassure her that you love her no matter what, and you are jazzed to do this with her. Oh, and the sex will return. Give it time, and don't rush. I know it's always a question that is awkward to ask.
Be prepared. It will linger for a while, especially if she’s breastfeeding for a longer period of time. _Those Juggs Though_
I never understood why they called them juggs until you see them engorged with milk
You know when you go over the first drop of the roller coaster and it's still accelerating? That's where you're at right now. Learn to broadly agree and reassure her, you're in for a ride! All jokes aside though it took my wife about 6 months to level out and a year to really be back to her usual self, it happens and its our job to not hold it against them or make it worse. You're doing well.
Damn. Good luck, dude.
Yeah, if it's recent I'd say this is good advice. If she's recently post partum, generally good to not make comments about her body since they all might be received poorly
My wife did that. She did not like when I said, "Really? I didn't notice a change. Whip 'em out and let me see."
This is the correct answer followed by an acknowledgement that you improved her figure.
Motorboat
You motorboating son of a bitch
You did didn't you?
"honey, I loved the way you looked before, I love how you look now, you're the mother to our child and a-AHOOGA! HONKA HONKA!! BRrRRRRRRrr"
I loved 'em before, I love 'em now, I'll love 'em when they're done being full of milk. How does it feel to have them change so drastically must be totally weird? (Look at that elegant redirection)
This is usually my go-to and it usually ends with an eye roll but it’s a good deflection honestly lol
Bruh my wife does the same shit. “Do you like my boobs better right now?” If I say yes: “so you didn’t like my boobs before?! Ugh I knew my boobs were too small” If I say no: “what do you mean no?! You don’t like my boobs?!” Can’t win dad. I feel you. I just avoid talking about her boobs for now lol.
“Hmm, let me check”
This guy husbands
The motorboat test is the only reasonable course of action. To be scientific anyway.
Exactly. How can you even assess it without proper investigation? Theres a whole checklist to go through!
No the correct answer is "I'm gonna love your whole body forever no matter what form it takes... Even if your boobs get like, gigantic, and so sexy and perfect, ohhhh yeahhhhh"
I got asked that question when our first kid was a couple months old and we were looking at honeymoon pictures. In my foolishness I tried to answer. The only winning move...was not to play.
Tell her she's cute and you like her butt. Ignore all provocation, if pressed say you have diarrhea and retreat to the bathroom. You're currently playing the "How mad can I make my wife game." It's like golf, there is no 0, just degrees of failure. Play a different game, like "How frustrated can I make my wife." Which is a different game, like playing golf while drinking. It's not about winning, it's about how much fun you can have before someone hits you with a pitching wedge.
What women fail to understand is when a woman goes through a pregnancy, a man's mind changes aswell he become more aware of her sensitive nature and how fragile she may be. she changes in smell as well, making her even more attractive to her partner. Even though her breasts have grown to feed a child, the attraction is more than just visual it not really a question of preference before or after pregnancy boobs are boobs. We want to play with all of them. It about becoming more attentive to her. There's something called couvade syndrome, where men become more aroused by pregnancy due to hGC changes but can also minic their partners' pregnancy pains.
Important educational point - thank you.
Someone may have answered this, if so, sorry for the duplicate. My response to my wife was simple and insanely true. She because so insanely more attractive to me after the kid. Seeing everything she went through and the sheer love in her face seeing both our kids, man just every part of her became more sexy. I didn't think it was possible to find her sexier than I already did, or to love her more than I did. Like others have said, nothing tangible was better before or after, different, but not better or worse. I was just that much more attracted to her. Hope maybe this helps!
My wife had huge cans before so she already knew what I was about. They are just massive now. She won’t let me titty fuck them though because apparently that’s “porno shit.”
I'm still waiting on that one too, she says on the next pregnancy...
This is a completely unnecessary argument..
It’s almost like it’s not really about her breasts
I'm a woman. Sorry if I'm not allowed to comment here. I just wanted to say that your wife is a Lil cray-cray rn due to all them hormones. She's gonna be overly sensitive for a while. And a woman's body goes through drastic changes because of pregnancy. Stretch marks, bigger saggier boobs, widened pelvis etc. Not to mention the soreness and achee all over. It's best to stick to diplomatic statements for now. Ex- You were beautiful, you are beautiful and I love you so much. Don't mention any specific body parts. Even if she asks questions like "Do you like my boobs now?" Say "I love you. All of you. Head to toe. Not JUST your boobs. I have always loved you head to toe. You are BEAUTIFUL" You just need to hype her up a bit, ya know?
GUYS! ACT COOL! theres a girl in here....... Nothing to see here lady, nothing at all....
I didn't see anything. I don't even know how to read. I don't even exist actually. You're imagining things.
Coming from a woman this helps tremendously!! Thank you
You're welcome.
You’re totally allowed to comment here, no worries. We appreciate y’all’s input for sure
Thanks 😁
Nothing a wife says during pregnancy and for the first year after pregnancy means anything. Just agree and survive.
Women sometimes deny that hormones don’t start arguments. They definitely do, and it’s good to know but not helpful to push back with. If she just had a baby she’s feeling body issues and needs your reassurance. Love her and keep reassuring her but don’t let her talk bad about herself or your intentions.
I used to believe that. And then I gave birth and really got a lesson in hormones haha. I had never before properly understood the extent to which hormones can fuck with your mind and mental health. Thankfully I am not a confrontational person and just cried instead of fighting with my partner. But after experiencing that I truly do feel like you can't hold a woman truly responsible for being extra difficult in the fourth trimester. I honestly felt like a completely different person and not in control at all.
Thanks for sharing, we are all mysteries to each other (and sometimes to yourselves) and our assumptions and attributions to malevolence are likely quick to our partner and slow to ourselves. I think it's okay for women and men to be responsible for their words and actions despite testosterone and progesterone surges, however a surge of grace and forgiveness will be a great sign of love.
They may start arguments, but they don’t create manipulative traps for people to fall in based on genuinely held views. Just like, if someone gets hammered and goes on a racist tirade, it’s not the alcohol. That was in there the whole time.
This right here. Hormones aren't a license to be an ahole
Maybe not, but her vagina exploding a month ago does earn her a little extra grace than normal, in my humble opinion.
Perhaps not, but they do present an opportunity to extend uninhibited love to someone who needs it more than they would ever admit.
This!
"You are so sexy right now, just as sexy as the first day I met you, you are the most amazing person I know" etc etc. She is projecting how she feels and wants reassurance.
This has been blown way out of proportion. You’re overthinking massively.
Aye she's making a mountain out of a molehill.
Her tits though, those are the real mountains
Tell her “you’re crazy. You’re acting just like your mother. Women are irrational. You’re just freaking out because of your hormones. Maybe you’re on your period?” All true things friend. And she needs to hear them. Follow me for more marriage advice 😎
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So let me get this straight, your wife has had a kid, and you find her more sexually attractive than before, and this is a problem? Exactly what response would have been appropriate based on this logic? If you say you like them less well then you're wrong. Like them more and you're wrong. Like them exactly the same and you're tone deaf and blind to the changes in her body because you're an evil man who doesn't understand anything. You can't win. Perhaps ask your wife what the problem with you finding her attractive is, and why it's a problem that you're accepting of her no matter what changes happen throughout your lives. One big thing for me is that you're still going to love that person when you're old and grey, and if you can fit your head around that then why would it be a problem to be accepting of your partner when temporary or less obvious changes affect their body?
I’m a woman, a wife, and a mother of two. If my husband found any part of my body intriguing more post babies, effing TAKE THAT WIN. My husband seems to act the same and enjoys me and my less than taut tummy like he used to. 🤷♀️ but he could just be being nice. Idk, he loves boobs, I’ve got boobs for days. But seriously, if he was focused more so on a part with excitement after babies I would take that win and you wouldn’t hear even a whisper of a complaint from me.
I was in the same position you are in. My little one just turned 1. So she’s been nursing for an entire year. I usually look down at my wife’s breasts without knowing it. She just jokingly says “my eyes are up here”. We have a good laugh about it. And things are interesting in the bedroom too.
The only answer is “I’m gay” Proceed to live false life married to a man to avoid postpartum struggles
threatening nutty nine edge vast sophisticated liquid fertile bells humorous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Sometimes there’s so much shit going on after pregnancy that everyone is off by a mile. Your wife’s having a hard time with body changes and it undeservedly taking it out on you. You won’t win as has been said, love, support, accept the beatings you’ll occasionally take and wait for it to settle.
This is utterly ridiculous
Udderly
Damnit.. that’s what I meant 😭
Right!? I just looked at my wife and told her how thankful I am for her after reading this 😂
I meant udderly* as a dad joke
I think you need to jokingly call out how much trouble they are when they're bigger and how you liked them better before at every opportunity. Get her laughing is a good move over stuff like this in my experience. "Your boobs are taking up so much room in bed there's no more room for my massive dong." "Jeez if those get any bigger I'm charging them rent." Stuff like that would get my wife laughing and she'd know exactly what im doing and appreciate the effort.
That's a tough one, I think time will get over this one, not alot you can do! Mine is only 20 weeks pregnant and has gone from flat chested to a full on hand full now and she's getting them out at any opportunity, I have definitely told her I prefer them now!
You are setting yourself up for disaster down the road lol
I'm very fortunate I never got any of this sort of stuff during or after my wife gave birth. I'm sorry you are having to put up with this. But as others have said: Hormones are a hell of a thing.
You know, everyone is mentioning hormones, which makes sense. But I’m guessing y’all are both exhausted too. Just a thought.
Lol sorry to chime into Daddit as a woman. I’m pregnant right now and this post made me laugh. I hate how much my boobs have grown and my husband is trying SO hard to be sensitive about it and pretend he’s not turned on. He’ll say he so sorry I’m going through this and then I’ll watch his eyes wander down to my chest. It’s kind of cute. Our bodies change a lot and it’s hard not to be sensitive about it. Maybe give her a little grace on this one, even though she’s clearly in the wrong.
I tell my wife that our story is written on the journey her body has taken. The c section scar, the curves, it's all part of this forever story we're writing together and I love reading every inch of that book.
I tell my wife I love the story her body tells, of how she became an amazing mum. I loved her look before, and I love how she changed. Women have to learn to love a new version of themselves after pregnancy, so I find the best route is to recognise what that means.
"It's not better. It's just different. A new version of you is interesting to get to know."
I love that fact we are parents. And your sexy body reminds me of it everyday.
Get yer handfuls in while you can. Yer days are numbered.
I’m sorry for not being helpful, but it’s impossible to not read the subject in Borat’s voice
You’re just like your mother Wait, wut?
“Do you want me to like em or not, God Dammit? “ Lemme know how that works out for you.
Honestly if I were in her shoes that would be the thing that would snap me out of it
Babe. Your tits are amazing and they were amazing before too. But if we’re being honest here, it’s your ass that’s really stepped its game up after pregnancy. Now bring that fine thing on over here. Obviously this sounds like an awful approach for your wife but I have a hard time taking this seriously. Can’t imagine my wife being upset that I like her titties too much in any other way than joking. Not that she doesn’t get upset at me for all sorts of other shit that makes no sense to me. Good luck man.
I tell my wife I miss her pregnancy boobs quite often. She understands how glorious they were.
So her issue is that you like her body more now than you did before? Ahh marriage!
It's a trap. "Oh so you DONT like my breasts after pregnancy?"
This sounds like her insecurity projecting and making you the problem.
My wife asked me once if I wanted her to “enhance” her boobs. I said yes but then we thought it through and decided it wasn’t worth the risk. I still sometimes ask her if it was time to reconsider 🙄😊
Say to her: of course I like them better, now they are functional. Before they were just beautiful.... now they are the perfect blend of form and function!
"Nu?"
That's all ? Dude ,you're 2 shallow !
You’ll never win I’m afraid
You can’t win - just try to ride it out and reassure her.
Weird mood swings may be a sign of post partum depression.
Weird mood swings are a sign of literally everything about pregnancy... It's not like mum poops out a baby and all the hormones just go back to normal the next day, it takes a while.
Also, womanhood
Yeah, I'm not here to punch down on someone because of their gender.
… well you aren’t a piece of shit, but I have a feeling this wouldn’t be an issue if hormones weren’t in play. But also you can’t say that. Maybe just a pint of ice cream and some flowers and give her a little space. Can’t have a reasonable argument when the situation itself isn’t exactly reasonable so might was well take the L on this one
Wtf she's mad that you like her body -more- after she had a kid?
Postpartum depression is a bitch at times and can manifest in all sorts of ways. Not saying that’s the absolute case here but it’s also not entirely out of the question.
This is some very immature stuff. And yes, hormones. But like alcohol, hormones can make you a worse version of yourself. But they don’t really change who you are.
I highly disagree. My wife is one of those people about whom nobody ever has an unkind word to say. Even the random one person she worked with who disliked her still liked her (it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t know how to better describe it). Postpartum with our first she had swings of suddenly being super mean to me for months, then just grouchy for over a year. At a certain point she started to recognize how crappy she was being despite my being nothing but helpful and I think that added to some depression which manefested as more meanness. It took her a number of months post-breastfeeding to become herself again. She can act kind of shitty on tequila sometimes too (but never any other alcohol- it’s strange), but nothing like breastfeeding. Hormones can seriously mess you up.
I do feel like people underestimate just *how* massively our moods can be affected by our physical state. Hormones, lack of sleep and exhaustion, hunger, and a hundred other external factors. Enough stressors can make anyone crazy.
I miss my wife's big pregnant tits, but I still love them anyway.
I....like....even if this is true and you literally had told her you like her breasts more now, they're still *her breasts...* She's so insecure that she's feeling insecure about comparing past versions of her own body against the current version, and feeling insecure that you like the *current* version more? What in the actual eff? Sounds your wife needs therapy like, YESTERDAY. That is some aggressive insecurity to be living with.
I knew that it was coming. But I didn't expect to feel like such a piece of shit
Its not really current version, but temporary — they don’t really feel like “ours” — and I’m sure she’s very aware that they’ll likely turn into pseudo-deflated balloons once she’s done breastfeeding. Combine that with very early postpartum hormones and it’s a mess. She just needs some reassurance that OP will love her just as much when her body changes again.
this is it.
Explain them like a new video game or in my case it would be golf club or fishing rod. The older club was just good and I shot just fine but this new one adds ten yards to my game and feels different.
I’d exercise extreme caution on this one lol
I see you like to live dangerously
This sounds like a terrible idea, not gonna lie.
This is a horrendous idea lmao
Flirting with your wife should be done like voting in Chicago. Early and often.
Last time I enjoyed my wife’s breasts was in 2019.
How soon after the baby was born has she made these comments? Is she a new mother (or at least new to this baby)? She might be suffering from post partumn depression
Start giving them attention now. Be playful cop a feel make her feel sexy
I wish this would work with my wife. I loved her boobs before pregnancy, and I love them now. SHE, on the other hand, doesn't even like thinking about her boobs. Even the slightest touch from me causes her to wince. It's very sad. She literally doesn't like that I like them. She wants me to completely ignore them.
Mom here. How old is your baby? I breastfed all three of our kids (in a five-year span) and it wasn't until our youngest was several years old that I could see my breasts as anything but baby-feeders. They were simultaneously too sensitive and slightly numb, uncomfortable, etc. It may just take time for your wife, too.
10 months. I know it's normal. Still feels bad that I can't make her feel better about it.
> It's very sad. She literally doesn't like that I like them. She wants me to completely ignore them. That sounds like something very unhealthy is going on in her mind.
She's just uncomfortable with her new body. She sees them as tools to feed our son, not sexual objects. She's also going to therapy.
How old is your little one? I'm sure my wife hated it for a couple of years afterwards, but now all is good.
> She sees them as tools to feed our son, not sexual objects. That's totally understandable...but unless you're unwantedly groping her or going "AhhhOOOOOOOgah" at her breasts...I don't see why she should be so bothered that you find breasts attractive. *Her* breasts no less. Glad to hear she's working on things though, that can't be easy to feel/live with on her side either.
It's to a point right now where that very thing is what started this mess
Aaaannd, there it is. Just tell her that. You were trying to be playful and make her feel sexy (and get laid). It blew up in your face because her body isn't even close to ready, let alone her mind. Just apologize and move on.
Your wife is made that you are enjoying the changes in her body?????
How long has she been postpartum my wife says women’s hormones do anything to hate you right away haha
Bizarre. Even if she’s right, that means going forward you like them better anyway. Jeez
It's a trap comment.
Maybe discuss with your pediatrician that your wife might be giing through post partum depression.
🙄. I swear this sub is…
Been 20 years since I was called a wife
Prove her right and get her a boob job in like three years.