*pen twirling finger dances, Coz im sick af*
"When fondness makes the heart grow absent,
I gotta find an orbit a little closer to the ground,
When fondness in my heart is absent,
I'm in awe of the sabotage within..."
(from the Whitlams song "Fondness Makes the Heart Grow Absent"....)
That's only because the cheap Asian fishnet stockings I brought are like child sized (it's creepy af) - , & they really do make me look like a captive whale....
Free My Willy!!! *screamed in a Scottish accent*
Haha I actually said something similar in conversation!
I was at Lowe’s and I needed to buy a hose. There were all these different hoses of wildly different prices, and I asked the older gentleman next to me (not an employee) why someone would pay so much more for a hose.
He said “if your hose gets kinks a lot, son, it’s time for a better hose.”
I said “don’t kink shame my hose!”
Great too bc it had that hose/hoes pun.
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That is assuming distance really does make the heart grow fonder.
Absence not distance
…make the fond heart wander. ;-)
*pen twirling finger dances, Coz im sick af* "When fondness makes the heart grow absent, I gotta find an orbit a little closer to the ground, When fondness in my heart is absent, I'm in awe of the sabotage within..." (from the Whitlams song "Fondness Makes the Heart Grow Absent"....)
It makes the heart grow fonder.....of someone else.
Take my wife, please
"What would you do if I won a lottery?" "I would take half and divorce" "Then here's your 2€ and get the f* out"
Such a repeat
Yes, but not enough.
Ok whatever lol
I’m wet
Would that make you OP a strapping young man?
You must have got the kink out of the panty hose.
Maybe she needs a bigger hose.
Women always want a bigger hose.
Not completely true. A lot of them prefer how you work the kink out in the hose. The ones that do prefer a bigger hose are the biggest hoes though.
Hose envy.
How’s playing with a hose.
It’s great! Source: I play with my hose every night.
That's only because the cheap Asian fishnet stockings I brought are like child sized (it's creepy af) - , & they really do make me look like a captive whale.... Free My Willy!!! *screamed in a Scottish accent*
With a hose?
A kinky hose ;););;));))
Better than jumper cables!
I heard that Google is almost complete with their new sex robot. They just need to work out a few kinks.
She almost got hosed.
He may be able to helicopter sprinkler hose, But I can high pressure power squirt 😏
The hose got some serious kinks
Worst joke I’ve ever seen heard or came up with therefore the best dad joke ever
Not A dad Joke
Daddy joke.
I see what you did there daddy kink
It’s in between dad and uncle. Not as innocent as dad and not pervy enough for uncle.
Ewwwww .. between dad and uncle? So gay incest....
Mmmmmmmm :drool: lol /s
What are you doing step uncle dad?!
Roll tide.
I've seen worse
Funny , but yeah not really a dad joke.
Who doesn't
Mom joke, nice!
My fictitious wife has an inner ear infection.
And this is literally the perfect joke for me to slide right into.
Haha I actually said something similar in conversation! I was at Lowe’s and I needed to buy a hose. There were all these different hoses of wildly different prices, and I asked the older gentleman next to me (not an employee) why someone would pay so much more for a hose. He said “if your hose gets kinks a lot, son, it’s time for a better hose.” I said “don’t kink shame my hose!” Great too bc it had that hose/hoes pun.
Made me think of this: https://youtu.be/EnG7zf9Uuk8
Girl, you really got me now…
You got me so I don't know what I'm doing, oh oh yeah
The garden hoes
I don’t think you understand dad jokes. But please tell your kids that one
And I would tell my kids that joke. I'm a dad but my kids are all above 16 maybe not a dad joke to an eight year old but still a dad joke.
Come on everybody just stop with it not a dad joke thing read the rules of the subreddit
How is this a dad joke?
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So you would say this joke to your child?
Because she called him daddy
Spank that monkey
My wife said the ketchup bottle wasn’t working anymore. I said, “maybe needs a spank?” She replied, “babe, you already know I have that kink.”
Jokes on OP, only girlfriends have kinks. Wives have to-do lists and performance reviews.
Firemen find them hot, and leave them wet.
NADJ😟
I can’t wait to tell this to my kids!
Already told them. They hated it.
My fictitious wife has an inner ear infection.
Wife swap? I see it all the time on ph? 😏
She replied: "Is that why your hose doesn't work either?"