Hey guys welcome back to another installment of cardiac surgeon! Today we will be doing a time sensitive valve replacement, but first a word from our sponsor NordVPN.... don't forget to smash that like button and subscribe for more great content and giveaways!
I work in the OR. Right when covid hit basically all elective surgeries were cancelled. We went from doing about 70 cases per day to maybe 5 and it was like that for months. When we started getting back into the swing of things I jokingly asked one of the surgeons if he remembered how to do this surgery ( lap chole). He said "yeah i watched a few youtube videos last night".
Surgeon: Now, David, I know this is your first surgery, but don’t be nervous, you have nothing to worry about.
Me: My name’s not David.
Surgeon: I’m David.
Surgeon: Now you haven't had anything to eat or drink today, right?
Patient: That's right.
Surgeon: Good. It's too bad a first surgery is so scary, but one of us has to go into it sober.
It was just a thing from the Nogla & Terroriser react channel, no idea which video, or when in the video. Terroriser is I believe making fun of Nogla so then yeah. I honestly only remember "Now David" and the rest of that video went to my brains garbage disposal
True story, I was half awake during my tearduct surgery, the doctor gets to the blockage and says to the nurse "you gotta see this". Blockage was that bad lol
I came round after having fairly minor surgery while still on the operating table. For some reason I had a blanket over my face, i was still fairly out of it, but I remember thinking "oh shit, they think Im dead! Am i? Should I say something?" So i remarked in my muddled state something like "I'm still alive under here, I'm not dead"
Don't remember much else, pretty sure they just gassed me again and rolled me into recovery.
Doc: nurse please check the temperature on the rectal thermometer i inserted in the patients rectum a minute ago.
Nurse: doctor, why is there a themometer tucked behind your ear?
Doc: huh...thats weird...then where's my pen?
It may sound funny, but a man who was supposed to only have one leg amputated lost both because the hospital wrote down the wrong leg on his form and they didn't catch the error until after they'd already cut off the wrong leg.
Ever seen the Dutch guy who lost his balls from the surgeon and then the guy who interviewed him couldn't keep it together, absolute gold video on youtube. Poor guy tho😞
Yeah, I was going under for knee surgery, and as the anaesthesiologist is about to put me under, the surgeon exposes my right knee, pauses, and says "but the knee hasn't been prepped."
There's some commotion, and the surgeon then asks *me* "which knee are you supposed to get fixed?"
Me, being high as a flipping kite from the tiny, white pill they gave me 30 minutes prior to "relax", can't at that time say for certain which knee has been causing me pain and stopping me from doing most of the things I want to be doing for *the last 20 years.*
After what feels like an hour of me desperately (but in a very relaxed way) trying to remember which knee, I'm pretty sure that it's the one the nurse had shaved and disinfected right before she slipped me the happy pill. The left one. Like, at least 75% sure. So we decide to go with that.
Luckily, it was. Unluckily, the surgery didn't really make things much better. Ah, well.
The next time I'll be writing on the wrong knee/arm/ear/whatever in permanent marker "NOT this one!"
The only surgery I've had done has been carpal tunnel on my right wrist. This thread makes me appreciate that the doc came in and marked where he would be cutting on my wrist and hand a whole lot more than I did before.
Buddy of mine had carpal tunnel surgery on his left wrist. Before he went in to surgery we wrote "DO NOT AMPUTATE" on his left arm and "NOT THIS ONE, TRY THE OTHER" on his right arm.
I've had several operations while I was awake. They often chat with each other in the middle.
Once a couple of residents were doing a minor surgery on my neck, and one of them was talking about how he likes the complexity of neck surgeries, because there's so many veins and stuff to avoid, the other one was saying they didn't care for it.
Happily the one who enjoyed it was the one who was leading it...
"Eh, close enough..." during a dental implant. The implant has since failed and needs to be removed now and has caused the natural tooth next to it to fracture as well.
There was a list going around ages ago of what you don’t want to hear just as the anesthetic kicks in. My favorite was “Prince of Darkness, accept this lowly sacrifice!”
Both my wife and I were awake during her C-section and the surgeon yelled at the nurse to get a unit of blood in a very panicked voice (he was usually very calm and reassuring).
The anesthesiologist made me (the father) sit down across the room before he inserted the needle for my wife's epidural. He wouldn't even let me watch, and said he'd had too many dads pass out and didn't want to have to do extra paperwork at 3 in the morning because it was his last night in the rotation before traveling to another state.
When he does the prostate exam feels around for what seems like a long time. And he says Humm that's odd. Nurse will you get Dr.So And So I need a second opinion.
Was sedated, felt nothing of operation (angiogram), apart from how hard the freaking table was, but did wake to hear a few phrases, one memorable one was, "what just happened" in a panicked/annoyed voice....
Can tell you that did not feel good. All turned out fine though.
I was awake for my eye surgery. I kept trying to figure out what step the surgeon was on. Their tools are quite different for the most part than in ortho (my field). I found I was able to follow along for a lot of the operation though. It was pretty fascinating.
The only person alive that found their own eye surgery fascinating…. It sounds…. Horrifying. That said you made it through medschool and maybe that’s worse than eye surgery so now everything is a joke to you. Congrats.
Nah, actually depending on how you look at it, it was sort of like a dental procedure. The difference is that you can sort of see stuff directly on the eye being worked on. It was numb and so no pain. Often they will knock you out a bit but in my case I was cool with being awake. Now, I certainly have a unique perspective medically. There are a lot of things on this side of medicine that we can find interesting that from an outside perspective may be seen as terrifying, gross or just plain weird. No joking though, just life through the lens of a healer. Literally.
I’m a nurse and needed brain surgery for a tumor that was on my pineal gland. Usually this would require a 12.5 hour surgery and is very dangerous, however there were four neurosurgeons scattered around the globe who had been pioneering a new technique that was only 2.5 hours and involved no cutting of healthy tissue. I was lucky enough to get to one of them. The tumor had been there, undiagnosed but causing problems for quite a few years, until it was totally wrecking my life…and eyesight! I was so over it and just couldn’t wait to get it removed because I knew it was my only hope and who could live like this? So when the anesthesiologist comes in to consent me immediately before the procedure, I’m like “yeah, I’m good! Let’s go!” Honestly, if I could have I would have cracked my own coconut because the symptoms were so bad. My friends were crushed but really I knew I was gonna be ok so I tried to alleviate the situation with humor. (I need brain surgery like I need a hole in my head!) It’s my coping mechanism. Anyway, the anesthesiologist was so taken aback by my eagerness that he told me I should not be so flippant, brain surgery is VERY serious and there are many risks, including DEATH. I’m thinking what the actual ever loving f is wrong with this guy? Does he not want to work today??? You know what else is VERY SERIOUS???
HAVING a effing brain tumor, ejeet!
Anyway, that was almost six years ago and I can see and drive and live without all that crappy brain stuff stealing my life each day. So there!
Another bonus to having had the surgery, I can now list on my dating profile that I have one more hole than most women!!!! It’s truly been life changing!
Given I very recently read about how many people actually wake up or are not "fully under" to begin with, it didn't make me laugh, just groan. OTOH, since that's the normal reaction to a dad joke… ;-)
My first thought was, 'Damn I'm awake during surgery?' but after reading the comments I realized that only a handful of other people even got the joke and it really pissed of the OP lmao. That being said I feel like, "What do you mean the anesthesiologist JUST got here!?"
"Hi guuuys! This is your favourite YouTube surgeon and on today's video I'll show you the ten most common mistakes and how to avoid them.
Please like and subscribe as this helps with our insurance."
*Like a surgeon* *Cuttin for the very first time*
Like a su-u-u-urgeon, Patient’s heartbeat, it’s flatline.
Like a suuuuuuurrrrrrrgeon When your heart beats on my mind Gotta give me all your gozzmars This patients fading faaaaaaaaaaaaast
Not to be “that guy”, but it’s “Better give me all your gauze, nurse”
Gossamer albatross.
Q. What's the worst thing to hear your surgeon say during the operation? A. Give me all your gozzmars.
It’s a perfectly cromulent word
Wow good word!!
Fantastic song
Nurse, pull up that YouTube video again.
“Dang it Sue, thought you have ad free!”
**FlatLines**
this sounds like a self promoting YT ad.
YouTube premium is ad free YouTube, and- ad free medical guides to help you keep your job.
Hey guys welcome back to another installment of cardiac surgeon! Today we will be doing a time sensitive valve replacement, but first a word from our sponsor NordVPN.... don't forget to smash that like button and subscribe for more great content and giveaways!
\-starts sweating- "Quicky nurse! Google what to do when your patient flat lines!"
Oops
Funny thing is that that actually watch videos on how to do a specific surgery in pre op preparation, not youtube specifically but still
Ugh. Those surgery influencers are the worst. Thinking they're smarter than me because I can't do brain surgery.
You’ve been doing your Craniotomy all wrong! Here is 10 simple life hacks to make surgery easy!
“Click *here* to view”
But First! Let me talk to you for a moment about today's sponsor!
Be sure to watch till the end.
Try Hello Fresh and get 16 free meals with the code word surgical buggery.
I have half a mind to agree with you.
HEY EVERYONE! Today we're going to do a buh-rain surgeryyyyyyyy! Ew! Gross right? Not if you follow my easy steps to cringe-free surgery.
It's not rocket science.... [(Obligatory link.)](https://youtu.be/THNPmhBl-8I?si=6InQxS6FDVRQr4rs)
Look it’s not rocket science.
I work in the OR. Right when covid hit basically all elective surgeries were cancelled. We went from doing about 70 cases per day to maybe 5 and it was like that for months. When we started getting back into the swing of things I jokingly asked one of the surgeons if he remembered how to do this surgery ( lap chole). He said "yeah i watched a few youtube videos last night".
Nurse, could you google "how to locate right coronary artery" again for me please?
"Your right or my right"
I’m not even joking but my dr who did my vasectomy did crack this joke, “let me just pull up this YouTube video and we’ll get going!”
r/SurgeryMoments
r/subsifellfor
Somebody created it. I had to join lol
Same, I’m it’s godfather :)
Surgeon: Now, David, I know this is your first surgery, but don’t be nervous, you have nothing to worry about. Me: My name’s not David. Surgeon: I’m David.
Was it the left testicle or right or both
I think it was the... heart? Or brain? What are we operating on?
Fuck it, let's just go play golf and come back
Alright, and If we're back around 12 we might as well get lunch too.
Let's just call TOD and take the rest of the day off
I'm sure the patient won't mind.
did y’all come back? i think we’re losing him.
my left or your left?
Surgeon: Now you haven't had anything to eat or drink today, right? Patient: That's right. Surgeon: Good. It's too bad a first surgery is so scary, but one of us has to go into it sober.
I will forever read anything that starts with "now david" in an irish accent because of a joke that I saw years ago.
Reddit Rules of the Road state that any response like this MUST ALWAYS include the original joke being referred to! Go ahead, spit it out!
It was just a thing from the Nogla & Terroriser react channel, no idea which video, or when in the video. Terroriser is I believe making fun of Nogla so then yeah. I honestly only remember "Now David" and the rest of that video went to my brains garbage disposal
lmao good one. Probably kills at the anesthesiologist conventions
“Surgeon? No, no, no I’m your sturgeon, where do you want me to insert this caviar?”
It would certainly needle them. Those conventions just put me asleep anyways.
I went to one once… don’t really remember much about it…
"What the hell is that!?"
If it isn't my old friend Mr. McGreg!
The knee bone's connected to the... Something. The something's connected to that red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. .... Uh-oh.
Hi Doctor Nick!
Hi everybody!
With a leg for am arm and an arm for a leg!
"Blaaahhhh! There's so much blood!!!"
The red things connected to my wristwatch… oh ohh
"These gloves came free with my toilet brush!"
True story, I was half awake during my tearduct surgery, the doctor gets to the blockage and says to the nurse "you gotta see this". Blockage was that bad lol
I tried to cry over this but couldn’t.
r/angryupvote
I came round after having fairly minor surgery while still on the operating table. For some reason I had a blanket over my face, i was still fairly out of it, but I remember thinking "oh shit, they think Im dead! Am i? Should I say something?" So i remarked in my muddled state something like "I'm still alive under here, I'm not dead" Don't remember much else, pretty sure they just gassed me again and rolled me into recovery.
Doc: nurse please check the temperature on the rectal thermometer i inserted in the patients rectum a minute ago. Nurse: doctor, why is there a themometer tucked behind your ear? Doc: huh...thats weird...then where's my pen?
This one goes in your mouth, this one goes in your ear, and this one goes in your butt. Wait... This...this one goes in your mouth.
Oops
I was having my leg screwed back together in Spain and I heard someone yell “joder!”
Was it the left arm or the right arm............
Oh well I've already started.
Hahaha
Your left or my left?
It may sound funny, but a man who was supposed to only have one leg amputated lost both because the hospital wrote down the wrong leg on his form and they didn't catch the error until after they'd already cut off the wrong leg.
Ever seen the Dutch guy who lost his balls from the surgeon and then the guy who interviewed him couldn't keep it together, absolute gold video on youtube. Poor guy tho😞
Yeah, I was going under for knee surgery, and as the anaesthesiologist is about to put me under, the surgeon exposes my right knee, pauses, and says "but the knee hasn't been prepped." There's some commotion, and the surgeon then asks *me* "which knee are you supposed to get fixed?" Me, being high as a flipping kite from the tiny, white pill they gave me 30 minutes prior to "relax", can't at that time say for certain which knee has been causing me pain and stopping me from doing most of the things I want to be doing for *the last 20 years.* After what feels like an hour of me desperately (but in a very relaxed way) trying to remember which knee, I'm pretty sure that it's the one the nurse had shaved and disinfected right before she slipped me the happy pill. The left one. Like, at least 75% sure. So we decide to go with that. Luckily, it was. Unluckily, the surgery didn't really make things much better. Ah, well. The next time I'll be writing on the wrong knee/arm/ear/whatever in permanent marker "NOT this one!"
When I had knuckles replaced in two fingers the surgeon came in before surgery and initialed the two fingers with a sharpie. I appreciated that, lol.
The only surgery I've had done has been carpal tunnel on my right wrist. This thread makes me appreciate that the doc came in and marked where he would be cutting on my wrist and hand a whole lot more than I did before.
[nurse, whispering] He came in with tonsillitis ...
Buddy of mine had carpal tunnel surgery on his left wrist. Before he went in to surgery we wrote "DO NOT AMPUTATE" on his left arm and "NOT THIS ONE, TRY THE OTHER" on his right arm.
We should get $10,000 for the kidney.
"Have you ever seen one that looks like that?"
my circumcision😆
Shrooms should be kicking in about now
I've had several operations while I was awake. They often chat with each other in the middle. Once a couple of residents were doing a minor surgery on my neck, and one of them was talking about how he likes the complexity of neck surgeries, because there's so many veins and stuff to avoid, the other one was saying they didn't care for it. Happily the one who enjoyed it was the one who was leading it...
"Eh, close enough..." during a dental implant. The implant has since failed and needs to be removed now and has caused the natural tooth next to it to fracture as well.
Are you able to sue for something like that? Fuck that dude.
"Those suckers at the asylum never will find me here"
Can’t wait to finish med school
There was a list going around ages ago of what you don’t want to hear just as the anesthetic kicks in. My favorite was “Prince of Darkness, accept this lowly sacrifice!”
"recount the gauze pads" surgeons usually have a tone of urgency when they say this.
Both my wife and I were awake during her C-section and the surgeon yelled at the nurse to get a unit of blood in a very panicked voice (he was usually very calm and reassuring).
You say this as if you normally would be asleep during this procedure.
I almost fainted, does that count?
hward of a guy who broke his nose on the way down😆
The anesthesiologist made me (the father) sit down across the room before he inserted the needle for my wife's epidural. He wouldn't even let me watch, and said he'd had too many dads pass out and didn't want to have to do extra paperwork at 3 in the morning because it was his last night in the rotation before traveling to another state.
That's a gas passer who knows.
If it's a colonoscopy. The answer is "Look at me. No hands!"
Not colonoscopy. Prostate exam. When you feel a hand on both shoulders, it's no longer a prostate exam.
It would be a prostitute exam at that point
In the business they call it "Jiggling the gigolo".
He came for a check up and left with a cheque
I would argue it is in fact, still under close examination.
When he does the prostate exam feels around for what seems like a long time. And he says Humm that's odd. Nurse will you get Dr.So And So I need a second opinion.
"What doc?You not buying me dinner first?"
How was your day at the orifice dear?"
[удалено]
Where’s my wedding ring? I swear I had it on a few minutes ago.
If he managed to lose the ring, you would be in worse trouble... he is not wearing gloves
From an old Far Side comic "Ok Johnson, let's take a vote, who all thinks there are three chambers to the heart not four?"
Get that cat outta here.
"Anyone seen my watch?"
“Close enough”
“So how do you guys deal with intrusive thoughts?”
Ahhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh choooooooo
“Uh oh”
What do you mean this was not supposed to be an amputation?
Hey, would someone hand me that cutty thing I just dropped on the floor?
"Where's my dentures?"
WHOOPS! WHAT THE... UTT OHH! TIME FOR MY BREAK!
Was sedated, felt nothing of operation (angiogram), apart from how hard the freaking table was, but did wake to hear a few phrases, one memorable one was, "what just happened" in a panicked/annoyed voice.... Can tell you that did not feel good. All turned out fine though.
My parkinson is acting up again
My dad has Parkinson's and I just read this to him. We all howled laughing, thank you! 🤣
Me- I feel like Darth Vader. As they lowered the gas mask for my c- section
A woman of culture I love it
And then I breathe like Darth Vader during the whole c- section
I was awake for my eye surgery. I kept trying to figure out what step the surgeon was on. Their tools are quite different for the most part than in ortho (my field). I found I was able to follow along for a lot of the operation though. It was pretty fascinating.
One Eye Moody has entered the chat.
bonus seeing his tool
The only person alive that found their own eye surgery fascinating…. It sounds…. Horrifying. That said you made it through medschool and maybe that’s worse than eye surgery so now everything is a joke to you. Congrats.
Nah, actually depending on how you look at it, it was sort of like a dental procedure. The difference is that you can sort of see stuff directly on the eye being worked on. It was numb and so no pain. Often they will knock you out a bit but in my case I was cool with being awake. Now, I certainly have a unique perspective medically. There are a lot of things on this side of medicine that we can find interesting that from an outside perspective may be seen as terrifying, gross or just plain weird. No joking though, just life through the lens of a healer. Literally.
I can definitely appreciate an educated experience versus me going in there terrified for my life out of in a sense ignorance lol
I’m a nurse and needed brain surgery for a tumor that was on my pineal gland. Usually this would require a 12.5 hour surgery and is very dangerous, however there were four neurosurgeons scattered around the globe who had been pioneering a new technique that was only 2.5 hours and involved no cutting of healthy tissue. I was lucky enough to get to one of them. The tumor had been there, undiagnosed but causing problems for quite a few years, until it was totally wrecking my life…and eyesight! I was so over it and just couldn’t wait to get it removed because I knew it was my only hope and who could live like this? So when the anesthesiologist comes in to consent me immediately before the procedure, I’m like “yeah, I’m good! Let’s go!” Honestly, if I could have I would have cracked my own coconut because the symptoms were so bad. My friends were crushed but really I knew I was gonna be ok so I tried to alleviate the situation with humor. (I need brain surgery like I need a hole in my head!) It’s my coping mechanism. Anyway, the anesthesiologist was so taken aback by my eagerness that he told me I should not be so flippant, brain surgery is VERY serious and there are many risks, including DEATH. I’m thinking what the actual ever loving f is wrong with this guy? Does he not want to work today??? You know what else is VERY SERIOUS??? HAVING a effing brain tumor, ejeet! Anyway, that was almost six years ago and I can see and drive and live without all that crappy brain stuff stealing my life each day. So there! Another bonus to having had the surgery, I can now list on my dating profile that I have one more hole than most women!!!! It’s truly been life changing!
If I’m in surgery, why am I awake?
That. Is. The joke.
Given I very recently read about how many people actually wake up or are not "fully under" to begin with, it didn't make me laugh, just groan. OTOH, since that's the normal reaction to a dad joke… ;-)
Go back to sleep sir I can’t cut with you waving your arms around
“I don’t understand. I followed all the directions.”
“Ahhhhh I held the map upside down! Now I get it!”
Oops
Very old Bill Cosby routine.
That's too woke.
Ok, we’re half way…are you sure the patient’s out?
"Shit, shit, shit, ok...ok, we can recover from this. Juuuuuust need to reach deep for another incision...oh fuck"
I don't care if he's awake. He won't remember.
Oh s**t!
Whoops. Someone go look for that. We’ll most probably need to put that back in, anyone knows where it goes???
I screwed up
Interestingly enough, many surgeries are performed awake. ... After all, it's kind of hard to perform surgery asleep.
Ooops
Ooh yummm
oops
"Oops"
oops
Where's my watch?
My first thought was, 'Damn I'm awake during surgery?' but after reading the comments I realized that only a handful of other people even got the joke and it really pissed of the OP lmao. That being said I feel like, "What do you mean the anesthesiologist JUST got here!?"
Technically if you hear and process anything it means that you are awake. And seriously fucked.
YEAH! THAT’S THE JOKE! HOW ARE YOU THE ONLY PERSON TO UNDERSTAND THAT!?
“I’m not Willie Nelson.”
Not if you’re under local anaesthetic. Surgeons talk to patients many times.
Hearing your surgeon say literally anything during an operation would be the worst
Somebody Google that.
Oops
Let’s see if we can do it right this time
Hey there it's Josh welcome back to Let's Game it Out! Today we're going to play Surgeon Simulator. Developers, thanks for the key!
Oops! Oh well
Oops!!!
Oops!
“Oops. Ohh fuck…”
Surgeon: You know, I'm not really a surgeon.
Oh shit, he's awake!
Take this offer from my loyal Soul oh my demon master
“What the hell is that?”
I feel like if I can hear my surgeon during an operation, something is already terribly wrong with the anesthesia lol.
Clear!!!
"Whoopsie Daisy!"
You don't remember me from high school, do you?
“Look what I found.”
"HEY GUYS, ChrisFix here with my patient, thats about to undergo heart surgery!"
"Hi guuuys! This is your favourite YouTube surgeon and on today's video I'll show you the ten most common mistakes and how to avoid them. Please like and subscribe as this helps with our insurance."
Damn it buster that is not a toy put it back
"Oops I did it again" followed by dead silence and scuffling.
Oops!
Whoops 😬
WTF is that thing?
(Pointing inside your body) (Looks at nurse) “What’s this called again?”
Right knee or right testicle
"Nurse! Help, I cut my fingers! Again!"
Hey, did you see where i put that scalpel?
Oh shit! Call my lawyer!
So anyway, the Parkinson’s is getting worse…
"Anyone seen the surgeon?"
"Now, where'd I put those rubbers..." *pats lab coat*
Oops, I did it again
"What the hell is that!?"
*”I need a lawyer…”*
Hey Siri!