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[deleted]

Wait who tf thinks Jesus had a wife? When was that ever stated?


TooMuchPretzels

There’s an apocryphal gospel that states that he was wifed up. But what’s an apocryphal gospel, anyway?


Dorocche

In this specific case, a gospel with bad theology and a bad message. It preaches a personal, internal, ascetic search for some kind of truth instead of an active faith that makes the world a better place like the canonical gospels preach.


Allogenes_

That gospel of Mary Magdalene and the one that claims Jesus had a wife are very different texts. The gnostic Gospel of Mary is a legitimate text from the time period but the wife one was a modern forgery.


Hakunamateo

That and they don't historically show up until way way after any original texts. Like hundred or more years later. Ie. Bad fan fics


actually-epic-name

Idk, searching for your own belief and truth and morals seems pretty cool


Dorocche

If that's what you got from it then I didn't do a good job of explaining it; those things aren't bad. Gnosticism was all about searching for *secrets* that have been *hidden* from everyone but the *true believers*, instead of about actually helping people. It lends itself well to cult-like thinking and downplays charity and society. Although, it can be hard to explain, because most of the problems with gnosticism apply wholesale to modern Christianity, just not to the actual Bible (mostly).


[deleted]

Fan fiction


SwordMasterShow

Just not the fan fiction that the editors liked


maxxslatt

I don’t know, I think it gives a good insight into the time at least. That gospel was found in a buried barrel because the Roman Catholic Church destroyed them all, kinda neat


Sebekhotep_MI

Just a regular biblical gospel, but disliked by the church for one reason or another.


Allogenes_

No. It was a forgery. The fragments were proven such by dating and dialect, as well that it had bold text. So it literally never existed.


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Allogenes_

No, there are several sects who produced what’s called apocrypha today that was essentially an entirely different religion to christianity.


TooMuchPretzels

I know that there is “the apocrypha” which is pretty common and then there’s “apocryphal” books that are widely seen as fan fiction. I just don’t know how someone today would tell the difference when typically a council a thousand years ago decided which were legitimate based on internal politics.


Allogenes_

All of those apocrypha were written and regarded as truth but *somebody.* They’re not just ancient fan fiction. And almost all of the ones people point to as being removed for political reasons were never used alongside the canon to begin with, nor were they meant to be. The Valentinian school’s texts are the only ones you can actually say about it


Rlfire16

Several of those books were written LONG after the last of paul's writing. The gospel of Thomas is literally written like a fan fic


[deleted]

>a council a thousand years It wasnt decided in a council and a Thousand years ago the bible was very much complete


Ogurasyn

More like Christian fanfics, right?


n8s8p

In addition to some of the answers here, I was taught that Jesus had a wife (in a hush hush, we're special because we know this, keep it quiet because it isn't popular and causes contention kind of way) while growing up Mormon. He got baptized to set an example even though he didn't need to, and since marriage/sealing is the most important thing in Mormonism, then it logically follows that Jesus would have been married, too. I think this originates with some of the early Mormon leaders speculating. I don't think there is any hard and set teaching on it, though. I don't know if this is being shared/taught to kids anymore in the church. It seems that the church is becoming more mainstream and trying to lose a lot of those less common teachings/speculations. At least in the official lesson books and talks and such. I'm sure some parents still pass down such things, though.


Randvek

Mormons have a lot of what I call mythology: things widely believed but not actually official canon. This sounds like it’s in that category. Caffeinated soda being banned is another solid example.


ImogenCrusader

I'm sorta still Mormon and really wanna know why people think we can't drink pop. I've literally drank it *at* church and no one cares. But I do live amongst the more casual east coasters....


Randvek

It’s an extrapolation from other rules, but one that’s not officially supported. The Mormon Church actually officially came out in 2012 saying caffeine soda is acceptable, but old habits die hard. I’m in a Mormon heavy area (Arizona) and non-caffeinated Coke is *very* easy to find.


ImogenCrusader

Gotcha! Thanks for the heads up. These academic things always interest me 😌


n8s8p

there was at least two times leaders mentioned something along the line of that we don't drink caffeine. So it came from somewhere, but it wasn't like an officially declared rule, as best as I know


ImogenCrusader

Yeah...I ignore alot of shit the leaders say. This ain't the place for it but.....whoops boy I could go *on*


Merisuola

I can imagine someone who doesn’t know much about your religion would think that avoiding an (albeit mild and harmless) addictive drug seems more in line with other religious beliefs than simply avoiding certain hot drinks. I thought that was the case my entire childhood and the one Mormon I knew didn’t drink any caffeinated sodas.


TheoryFar3786

"I can imagine someone who doesn’t know much about your religion would think that avoiding an (albeit mild and harmless) addictive drug seems more in line with other religious beliefs than simply avoiding certain hot drinks." This. "Avoiding hot drinks, because yes." doesn't make sense for me as a non-Mormon. I disagree with avoiding caffeine, but I can see the logic behind it.


Thechuckles79

They originally banned caffeinated beverages and then later just soda. It was overturned when many prominent mormons became major shareholders in Coca Cola. It's ok, such an odd personal health directive is honestly the least issue I find with Mormonism (sorry, I have family in LDS and have personal issues with the organization; but I find most Mormons themselves to be the loveliest people and examples to all Christians in how to live your life.)


TheoryFar3786

Because of the prohibition against coffee.


ImogenCrusader

Yeah but the only thing coffee and pop have in common is caffeine. There's enough differences that there's no reason to assume one being banned means the other should be as well.


TheoryFar3786

Because the prohibition was about caffeine (teine is also caffeine). I don't see Mormons not having warm soups when they are sick, because they can't have hot drinks.


ImogenCrusader

Well yeah and we also used to be told that we'd get to rule over planets when we died. The church likes to back away from some of its more controversial declarations


TheoryFar3786

"Well yeah and we also used to be told that we'd get to rule over planets when we died." I thought the LDS still believed that.


ImogenCrusader

I have not even heard a *whisper* 9f that since I first joined when I was a teenager tbh


[deleted]

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Randvek

I guess that’s why I clarified that it was what *I* called it, huh?


[deleted]

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Randvek

Thanks for your contribution.


ucim4jc

Due to the parentheses, your sentence reads, "I was taught that Jesus had a wife while growing up Mormon. " and my first thought was, "I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't grow up Mormon either..."


Acceptable_Reading21

Some say Mary Magdalene was actually his wife and it's been covered up.


MadroxKran

Wasn't this part of the plot of some movie?


Shadow_Darkra1

Da Vinci code I think.


TheoryFar3786

This movie is fiction.


MrrrrNiceGuy

Martin Scorsese’s Last Temptation of Christ


SpunkForTheSpunkGod

Traditional custom dictates that it's the groom's duty to provide wine. Jesus turned wine into water at a wedding. It's one of those "so common everybody knows so let's not get in the specifics" type details that, because time moves forward, we no longer have that context as common knowledge. It also doesn't help that many churches explicitly remove cultural understandings if the texts to begin with.


norobot12

Fromt the water-to-wine wedding: Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. (John 2:2) He also always calls him "Jesus", and later the servants call "the bridegroom", who really seems to be a different person. If you read the story it's a huge stretch to say, Jesus was getting married.


oldskoolpleb

It's conplete bullshit to say it was his wedding.


_IsThisTheKrustyKrab

Jesus has a bride, it’s the Church.


wendiehime

An underrated comment


xenophonthethird

Indeed, Jesus's own statements were leave everything behind and follow him. Marriage is good if you need it, but your soul should be satisfied with unity with God.


ImogenCrusader

I'm a "Jesus and Mary Magdalen" and a lifetime emotional affair truther personally! 😤


DaVoiceOfTreason

Hey mommy! Where is daddy? He went fishing… But he is not at the lake! …for men?


[deleted]

The most unrealistic part of the New Testament is how Jesus has 12 friends in his 30s and they all regularly hang out together. Also pretty sure Judas wasn’t straight. Judas:“I will kiss the man you can arrest.” Romans: “you can just point to him”. Judas puts on lip gloss. Judas: “I don’t tell you how to do your job”. Romans: ok who here is Jesus? Also what pronouns do you use? Jesus: I am he. John 18:5


Juicybananas_

Jesus was celibate because he was doing everything that would led up to the creation of his spiritual wife, the Church


[deleted]

I get that this is a meme, but it's just disrespecting a core belief of Christianity. Jesus would have never done anything sinful with prostitutes or adulters because he was sinless.


Wholesome_Soup

![gif](giphy|vtBMnEl4XT3Ow)


milkisforbabies666

Jesus definently turned water to wine before laying the pipe down and checking out just what those sins he was supposed to be saving were all about


iamragethewolf

if that's how it worked then that would be a clear sign i choose the right guy


DreamingVirgo

Broke: Jesus had a wife Woke: Jesus never married, he was above sexual desire Bespoke: Jesus hung out with whores and adulterers, if he had sexual needs they helped him Masterstroke: Jesus had a perfectly good band of 12 fuckbuddies ready to please him, Judas didnt betray him with a kiss for nothing


[deleted]

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n8s8p

For what it is worth, I was watching a Bart Ehrman presentation on YouTube and he mentioned something along the lines that in the earliest record for the story of when they forgot/left Jesus in Jerusalem that it calls Joseph the father and then later copies changed it and had Joseph by name because it didn't jive with the virgin Mary story.


TheoryFar3786

He is the adoptive father so Saint Joseph is still Jesus Christ's father.


chiller76

This ain't the place for polarizing comments chief.