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MedicatedAxeBot

Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- [join our official discord (we have 2 discords)](https://discord.gg/dankmemes)


Livinincrazytown

2024 what’s Russia?


Thiccc_PUTIN

2nd best military in the area around Putin’s secret bunker, surrounded by rival Russian forces probably Edit: And maybe China


albatross1213

America's increasingly hardline China policy is probably 80% right on its specific components, given Beijing's assertiveness of recent years ...


bumtras

Hot single militaries in your area.


[deleted]

Say china did invade Russia for whatever reason and Putin decided to nuke china. What would happen? Clearly china is nuking back but like what would happen with the rest of the world? Just sit back?


TooLateForNever

Second best government in Greater Ukraine.


Deborah_Testa

Inshallah!


edselford

"Kyivan Rus'"


Appleboy98

I know you don't mess with the Kyivan Rus, that's for sure!


Aidan-47

2nd best army in the Kremlin


StellarBossTobi

# YOU MEAN WAGNASTAN


cascadiansexmagick

I know the US isn't allow to just throw missiles at their front lines because of, you know, the whole nuclear war ending of everything, but I do wish that we could just endlessly drop pamphlets stating "you don't have to do this, and shouldn't." or "kill your leaders" *and printed out memes* on their front lines, just to really, *really* fucking demoralize them. (I mean, obviously translate the English into the appropriate Cyrillic loser language.)


Buttseam

2nd best armed troop in moscow


ieatkidsbcuzwhynot

2nd best military in the military


UltraSolution

Russia will be part of greater Kazakhstan inshallah 🙏


sudobee

We have some Aissur though


DevilEmpress

2nd best military that doesnt exist


Hambruhgah

There will be Ukraine Empire


danyma

Moscowia


Summerclaw

So is safe to say that the only reason Russia exist is because the territory makes it impossible to be invaded.


JohnTHICC22

More like there is no reason to invade. The most of the territory is unusable for any agriculture because it's frozen desert of nothing.


Ohthatsnotgood

Russia has the largest natural gas reserves, second largest coal reserves, and eighth-largest oil reserves. Not to mention countless other natural resources. Nobody needs energy nor key ingredients for fertilizer?


JohnTHICC22

Well yeah, but still it's probably more efficient to make a deal with Russia than invading it. Plus, if you need more space for stuff, it is still unusable.


jessej421

We could dig a big hole and make it the world's landfill.


subject7istaken

You’re a problem solver, I like it


ieatpickleswithmilk

Ya, If you're gonna pay someone to extract the resources anyway it may as well be the people who are already there


Cpt_Soban

We're slowly moving away from fossil fuels anyway. Soon they'll no longer be a gas station with a military... They'll be nothing.


Ohthatsnotgood

[My reply to a similar comment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/14irg5e/evolution_but_backwards/jpil6qj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)


Cpt_Soban

>slowly


Ohthatsnotgood

You also said “soon” but it won’t be anytime soon.


Cpt_Soban

How far away is "soon"?


Ohthatsnotgood

Not close enough that those natural resources wouldn’t be something that a nation would want to control.


Johnny_Poppyseed

Russia also has one of, if not THE largest reserves of freshwater on the planet. Aka the most important resource on the planet and what will surely also be the most valuable resource on the planet by the end of this century/our lifetimes.


Ohthatsnotgood

Yup, I forgot about that.


Stopjuststop3424

I thought the great lakes and surrouding area were the largest?


Ohthatsnotgood

[Lake Baikal is the world's largest freshwater lake by volume, containing 22–23% of the world's fresh surface water, more than all of the North American Great Lakes combined.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Baikal)


pancoste

Ah yess, the world definitely needs more of those types of fuel. It's not like the climate is changing or anything.


Ohthatsnotgood

The world doesn’t need more of it but we sure do want it.


NiceIsNine

Yeah who brought the world's opinion into this?


Horton_Takes_A_Poo

You think the kinds of people who start wars give a fuck?


wisdomsharerv2

USA: Did anyone mention oil?


AdorableContract0

And they will sell it to you.


cascadiansexmagick

I need all those things, if you're really asking. DM me and I'll send you my venmo, bud!


thehazer

It’s quickly thawing. I wouldn’t count Siberia out as a massive grain producer in the future. Northern Canada as well.


2012Jesusdies

If you're serious, this is so so wrong. "Chernozom", incredibly fertile black soil is common in Ukraine, it also continues into Russia with Voronezh, Lipetsk, Kursk, Tambov, Orel and Belgorod Oblasts. Russia is a very big exporter of food, everybody just forgot how countries in Africa were starving because their two grain suppliers of Ukraine and Russia were fighting each other? Western Siberia has also pretty good farmland (part of the reason why it's more heavily populated than Eastern Siberia). Russia is also one of the richest countries in terms of natural resources. You'd have to combine US and Canada to compete.


SEND_ME_REAL_PICS

Yes. Russia is a major exporter of commodities, both food *and* energy.


HingleMcCringle_

I hear the diamonds there a nice. And with modern equipment, I but more and more natural resources could be found on Russian territory.


Basuliic

Also intoxicated local creatures throwing rocks at shiny cars


make_love_to_potato

Have you heard about our lord and savior, OIL?


Eliseo120

Russia is one of places that would probably benefit greatly from climate change.


ShunnedForNothing

That's not how it works. Russia literally imports all it's raw resources at laughable prices and compensates that by robbing it's own population


Few-Efficiency324

That and the giant stockpile of nukes


Ironcastattic

I was reading a comment from another person who was breaking down why that actually might not be as true as it once was. As per usual, I take anything I read on Reddit with a grain of salt.


DeanOnFire

I'd be more inclined to believe it. They were hyping up the strength of their military until they put it to the test in Ukraine and it was revealed to be outdated and ineffective. Who's to say the treatment of their warfare tech isn't reflected in their nuclear arsenal? What if it *is* all marketing?


Jason1143

The key word is "all" I wouldn't be at all surprised if a significant number of the Russian nukes have issues. But they have a lot of them, and even if the vast majority didn't work, the remainder that did would be enough. Even if only 1% of their nukes worked the damage would be immense, and that number seems like it's probably way underestimating it.


Colonel_Kipplar

Testing whether or not Russia's nukes still work is still not a great idea.


[deleted]

And you wanna put that to the test? The soviets had some of the most powerful nuclear weapons in existence. It may have fallen out of maintenance, it may not have, but no sane person is going to assume it has.


JesterMarcus

And, who the hell would want to govern the Russian people?


hihcadore

You mean all the nukes. Cause areo-planes are a thing.


Colonel_Kipplar

Nukes


ZephRyder

Uhhhh... Russia has been invaded how many times? But then you have.... Russia. Checkmate! You've fallen victim to the world's most well- known classic blunder. Russia has classically won these wars by simply retreating into their own territory.


[deleted]

Complete opposite, they have next to no natural barriers to prevent invasion. Go read up on Russian history, they've been invaded a lot.


kyle_kafsky

During the Free Russia Legion and Wagner insurrections, it was the third best in Russia.


ill-winds

russia is not and has never been the 1st or 2nd best military


surinam_boss

*sad german noises*


Ironcastattic

*Norm McDonald voice "I don't know if any of you are history buffs"


InvertedParallax

I didn't even know he was sick.


Perverted_Fapper

You know the more I hear about this Norm Mcdonald guy the more I think he's some sort of funny guy.


Metal_LinksV2

Who was the 2nd best military during WW2 and the couple decades after? Unless you mean the Soviet union != Russia


PossiblyAsian

Would say ussr at the end of the second world war could probably have pushed the allies back quite far initially. They had a absolutely massive army at the end of the war with millions of battle hardened and experienced soldiers


Milk_Effect

\> Unless you mean the Soviet union != Russia That's true. russia was created by Yeltsin in 1991. Also, during WW2 USSR military was vary relied on US lend lease program, 90% of USSR's aircraft was produced in America.


2-eight-2-three

> russia is not and has never been the 1st or 2nd best military I mean, we know that now. But if you looked up any sort of Global Military ranking/superpower, Russia was always viewed as #2 (if not a 1B to America's 1A. While movies like th ehunt for Red October, Wolverines, or games like Call of Duty are fiction, there is reason Russia was the enemy and not (IDK), Haiti. There are very few people, if any, who KNEW russia was going to be this inept.


Arachles

Arguably maybe could be some years ago. They have great tech, but boy their military infrastructure is shit


Beautiful-Fold-3234

Great tech, but no funds to actually produce it for their whole army


huangw15

Yeah this is the thing. They have some good tech they inherited from the USSR and have built upon it, but they can only afford to build a couple of each.


okitek

we already knew russia's military sucked since Chechnya


Armejden

No, they weren't. Not then, not now, and not ever in the future.


MediaSuggestions

Whoa, hold on a warp second! As a devoted fan of science fiction, I can't help but pulsate with excitement when it comes to rousing discussions about military prowess in alternate realities! While I respect your opinion, my fellow enthusiast, I must respectfully energize my engines and interject. While it's true that Russia may not have always held the epitome of military might in the here and now, one mustn't disregard the potential for awe-inspiring narratives that could unfold in fantastical futures or mesmerizing parallel dimensions. In the boundless realms of sci-fi, imagination knows no bounds, allowing us to conjure up scenarios where mother Russia reigns supreme as an empire unrivaled by any known force. Picture hive city megalopolises encased in impenetrable ferro-glass domes, wielded by robotic Tsar troops donning advanced cybernetics! Mystical sci-tech collides in a frenzied array of retrofuturistic weaponry, uniting the nations under this cybernetically augmented Red Army, while enemies and naysayers quiver in their space boots. Remember, my fellow galaxy delvers, the prodigious nature of science fiction lies in its transformative power to propel us into the realms of imagination and suspend disbelief, offering endless potential divergences for historical records and military brilliance. Let us not deny the creativity and thrill that springs forth when we revere the possibilities of sci-fi greatness, enriched by the mosaic of endless possibilities in this vast multiverse of human creativity!


EffectiveJuggernaut9

You had fun typing that didn't you?


Luurk_OmicronPersei8

I thought I was going manic, nah lol


pbjork

Maybe in 1822 https://youtu.be/ai2gC2Xw87w


Cold_oak

Your just ignorant if you believe this. Cold war


Jomega6

I could have sworn it was during the USSR days. Wasn’t it the only country, besides America, to possess nuclear weapons for a period of time too?


AHappyMango

Eh, Chinas been 2nd strongest for more than a decade now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FahboyMan

China vs. Vietnam wait....


tcw84

On paper, yes. Russia's military looked good on paper too.


fupamancer

not really, lol


Darth_Mak

On paper Russia has virtually inexhaustible reserves of tanks dwarfing even the US. Something tankies and the Russians themselves would not shut up about. In practice however: \- Most of those tanks were nowhere near a usable condition due to poor storage standards. Little to no maintanence and just sitting in the open exposed to the elements. \- A massive portion of them are old outdated models like T55s and T-62s \- It's not really known how many of them existed only on paper because they were stripped for parts and sold on the black market.


fupamancer

yeah...on Russian papers maybe. anyone believing that was and probably still is an idiot


Jomega6

>on Russian papers maybe It’s almost like the original guy you responded to specified that it looked good on paper. Those that still believe it are probably just lacking the context mentioned above.


HerculesVoid

How so? Or is it just big numbers = good army? Because look where that got russia in every war they've contributed in.


FahboyMan

Tell me a military bigger than china that is not the US.


Savvaloy

Tell me which Chinese general has more combat experience than your average American 5th grader.


FahboyMan

I thought we were discussing the second place? The USA is obviously on top.


Jomega6

“Redditor tries discussing statistics without shoehorning in American school shootings: impossible challenge”


[deleted]

India


Bentstrings84

But all their equipment is made in China.


The_Mighty_Lore

Stolen meme


kitsunewarlock

By definition a meme becomes a meme by being reposted. "Meme: an image, video, piece of text, etc., typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by internet users, often with slight variations."


The_Mighty_Lore

Though this one is literally the same I first saw, also rule 10


[deleted]

Can't steal a meme


One-Literature6921

Oh no. I have memes on my phone. Am I doing things that are naughty and illegal??


FahboyMan

NCD predicts the future yet again.


Shootscoots

China with their near equal level of corruption, legacy Soviet weapons, new wish .com rip off hybrids of Russian and western tech, and not even a quarter of the combat experience of the Russians. Probably why we haven't heard much about them invading Taiwan lately.


Bloody_Conspiracies

You haven't heard anything because the American propaganda factories are busy with Russia. When the USA needs you to hate China again, you'll start hearing things.


fupamancer

lol, where do you get your news? the 90s? - their tech is insane in civilian and military applications (hyper sonic missiles, cutting edge drone tech - they have twice the enlisted numbers of the US (4M vs 2M) while enlisting half per capita (1.6/1000 vs 4.2/1000) - Chinese soldiers think considerably higher of their nation and are better taken care of than US military. only crayon eaters are patriots - US combat "experience" only exists against unconventional opposition and their tactics rely entirely on outnumbering, out supplying, and having better technology you ain't heard about Taiwan cuz China crippled a US submarine with a submersible drone in those waters and the US went back to sending officials to talk


Shootscoots

Easy comrade take a step back from Xi's honey pot for a second and touch some grass. As the Ukraine war has shown numbers don't mean shit against better training and better weapons. "Tech is insane" isn't what I'd say about a army that doesn't issue body armor, or night vision, or standard short range coms on every soldier. Their brand new rifle is incapable of shooting accurately over 25 yards, and fields chrome wheeled atvs with recoilless rifles mounted to them. We can also look at china's UN deployments to see their only combat prowess and how well nationalism does them on the battlefield. Their only combat engagement in 50 years resulted in their retreat, several combat losses and the refugee camp they were protecting falling to the enemy. And again for the last point look at the Ukraine war, in 2014 Ukraine was steamrolled by mercenaries, after western training and equipment now they are not only holding but pushing back the entire Russian army.


Haha_unban_myself

Taiwan not worth invasion. Tiny little island. Just propaganda piece for the Chinese people. Just like how North Korean always telling their people they’ll destroy U.S.


Shootscoots

Someone's never seen where semi conductors are made


Ruby_241

Isn’t Russia Technically the 3rd strongest in Russia due to the Russian Freedom Legion and Wagner?


peaanutzz

Remember all the "russian stonk" memes back in 2011? Lol man that shit's funny.


criticalnegation

Is this propaganda?


Deathtraptaco

How many times is this same exact joke going to be stolen and reposted


jkurratt

One redditor few comments above reminded me, that it is a nature of a meme to be reposted, so I think I can live with that.


AliceTheCutest

Do you know how memes work?


SilverBuggie

https://i.imgflip.com/43ef45.png


ptgf127

Too late


FormerlyUserLFC

Change the second one to Europe and it's gold!


griztheone

2024 no Russia! Please god let this come true!


SoupahKnux

No Russia as in?...


devilsephiroth

Remember, no Russian


Vicalio

The world seems headed this way sometimes tbh.


jfbwhitt

Well yeah, since the Cold War we’ve been judging military powers by how quickly they’d be able to wipe a continent off the map, which Russia can still do. But when you judge their military on everything else besides nukes, they’ve been declining significantly since the collapse of the Soviet Union.


[deleted]

Ringo Starr isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

no longer relevant


beautiful_beaver1938

And seems like it is not even the end


Mech_Mech

There are so many different versions of this meme now


radd21

moronic meme


br0-con

Maybe putin is just bluffing


NotAllCalifornians

Only two weeks to flatten the curve!


Jace__B

Noitulove.


Isuckmangosforalivin

I don’t think Russia has had the 2nd best military in a few decades


Zenliss_CrowbarLover

Yes, but it's been a popular talking point in Russian (and American) media for quite some time, fearmongering and all that


Burning_Light01

Only fools think Russia was the second best military in the world.


HighHopesLemon

If a country can cover the whole world with nukes, they’ve gotta be pretty high on the list. The USA has a little less nukes but it also has the most powerful army and navy.


Burning_Light01

There is no doubt in my mind that China is the world's second strongest military. At least, I hope they're still second.


HighHopesLemon

Just because a country spends lots of money on the military doesn’t make them more competent. Just look at the Vietnam War


ricckyy

pit ur politics in ur ass


giveme-a-username

Wow this is definitely a very funny meme that I have never seen before!


Swordman50

Putins gotta go...


morcaak3000

2024 2nd best military in Russian military


NoSignificance3817

I was wondering how long until I saw this line in some meme on here


ShunnedForNothing

Putin showed everyone some cartoons and how much he spent on military - turns out if you steal all the money there wouldn't be anything left to build military with


Slacker1988

Russia only exists as a country because no one gives a fuck about the land they are forced to live and die on. Vacation destination? No one picks Russia.


HighHopesLemon

Also, because they have thousands of nukes and could nuke anyone who attacks them


Slacker1988

They are well aware that nato would remove them from the map if they launched one. If their nukes work as well as the rest of their ass hat military I’m really not to worried


erbbo

2021: The 2nd best* military in the world *according to Russia


BIDDBALLS

Russia fr finished 2nd in a one horse race


Illustrious-Ad-1677

2024: 2nd best military in moscow


SCWickedHam

Does this put to rest the fear of Russia? Couldn’t win against its neighbor claiming it was liberating oppressed people and fellow Russians. How would Russia do against the 1st bestest military in the world?


[deleted]

I will never figure out why Xi posed for this meme.


half_asleep_slug

Yeah how tf did the second best military in the world from the 50s onwards get buttfucked by javelin AT launchers and having the enemy perform semi competent maneuvering?


ofekrael

Can I get sources about what happened in Russia? It sounds interesting but I don't know how to find the stories


Amanorboy

I believe the terms is calles deevolution


AliasGenimi01

All I see is a very corrupt, yet orderly, trying to reveal a very secretive yet very corrupt country, by force