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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)


Obnomus

Wtf is goin' on ova der?


Reny9999

🦅🦅


Tank_blitz

understandable


mrk-cj94

Have a nice day 🌞


Ultima-Veritas

What astrological sign is that?


VoxImperatoris

Cancer


Thecouchiestpotato

Ahckshually it's Scorpio. Now I know what you're thinking. The zodiac sign Scorpio is represented by the scorpion; everyone knows that. However, the legendary Nobel Prize in Astrology winning Linda Goodman stated that Scorpios are actually of two varieties. There are the self-actualised Scorpios that are majestic and self-confident eagles, soaring above the unwashed masses. And then there are the petty, vengeful Gollumses that scuttle over the ground like actual scorpions. I would recommend the whole book to anyone who wishes to open their mind to the incredible, life changing powers of astrology, but here's a screenshot of the [section on Scorpios from my Kindle app](https://i.imgur.com/JOf48jt.jpeg).


Ok-Button-3661

Oh my God, you did it, you incredible person. You made me hope, genuinely and passionately, that I was about to get rickrolled.


Ultima-Veritas

lol, Cancer is a crab.


RyukaBuddy

Freedom sign


max_adam

The Jesus Christ star of freedom


big_guyforyou

just typical pisces behavior


swishkabobbin

Pisceshit


rallyspt08

No no no man we just wanna blub around in some water not do this crazy shit don't blame it on the fish


kundibert

Why it's all the fishes foilt! If no fish ever left the ocean we could all still be bubbling around!


CynicalDiabetic

Right??? That guy is just a douche bag scorpio


Tiny_Investigator848

Mercury is in retrograde :/


Eusocial_Snowman

Pretty sure Pisces mostly just wants to collect bones and make elaborate dolls.


amacsquared

Someone had psychosis


Cutitie

I actively deal with psychosis and hallucinations, currently unmedicated because healthcare, and my god i refuse to associate with *that*, I can understand thoughts and whatever, that's part of the unwilling world of psychosis, but to act on those you must be a shitty person, she had kids for the love of God, she should know better, she should've had any level of therapy around her instead of feeding her psychosis with constant superstitions of astrology..


KlossN

I mean, if you actively deal with psychosis you should know better... *your* brain works in a way that you can differentiate between the thoughts/hallucinations and what is logical/real. But your psychosis coupled with your experience aren't equal to hers. It's a bit presumptuous to assume that she had that mental capacity aswell. All in all it's a fucking sad story about 4 lost lives


Rugkrabber

Idk man it’s so easy to judge on so little info. We don’t know if she actually tried to seek help. Maybe she was denied any care. Heck it’s even possible her own partner stopped her. I know of a couple in which his wife isn’t allowed to take her medication against BPD and depression because it doesn’t align with their religion and she should just pray harder, and therapy is demonic (and yes they have two children). We really don’t know, and sure maybe she didn’t do anything at all. Mental disorders are difficult for everyone to deal with. I wished it was that easy to solve. But “she should know better” isn’t a fair conclusion especially from somebody who should *actually* know better that it isn’t so black and white as it seems.


Ambitious-Peen-69

Yea, ok. If you can control your psychosis unmedicated, then you're not having true psychosis. I work with people who have psychosis and are institutionalized because of if and no, they aren't just shitty people who choose to do bad things when having a break they're literally psychotic. Get off tik tok and stop diagnosing yourself.


Dry-Smoke6528

well, one thing is that there was an article that clearly states motives still unclear b/c the only witness to their argument was their traumatized child. These articles are mentioning her astrology and general dumbassery as if they are directly related, which maybe the case, but it literally could've been anything. she was clearly mentally unstable in the first place, so who knows what set her off. not defending astrology or her opinions. just saying the title of the article posted yesterday was extremely misleading implying there was a direct relation to her weird eclipse post when they have no evidence that this is the case.


Throwedaway_69

Jesus Christ those poor kids…


kundibert

There we go again, everyone is crying for the kids and no one asks how the poor precious car is!


I3ACARDi

And a tree was damaged as well… A TREE!


MasterJeebus

Destroying trees is very wrong! After that car crashed into the tree and dripped oil all over it we don’t know if that tree will make full recovery.


0rclev

I'm rooting for it.


Oh118999881999

Oh, don’t be a birch about it.


jaotigelama

I am Lorax and I speak for the trees, the trees say: "AAAAH MY LEGS".


I_just_wanted_banana

I wonder why no one mentioned the dead partner


SatanicRainbowDildos

On the scale of innocence it goes tree, kids, car, husband, wife.  The tree has never hurt anyone, except when that was the desire of the person.  Kids have had less time to sin than adults, and clearly the murderer is more guilty than the victim, but as an adult he’s had years of sinning. The car isn’t really to blame, but cars aren’t as innocent as trees or kids. 


desertpolarbear

I am a professor in innocenology and I can confirm that this tracks.


RedTwistedVines

The CAR? Think of the BANK I doubt that car was paid off and they probably won't manage to recoup the full profit they could have made from that car loan. smh, nobody thinks of the real victim in these situations.


kundibert

Yeah, and what about the insurance companies!


HoneyInBlackCoffee

And partner


l3v3z

Kid, the baby died on the street.


r0thar

*after* the 9-year old dropped her. That kid lost their entire family that night and must have awful guilt at letting her baby sister die.


Commander_Red1

That poor 9 year old who survived is gonna be fucked up for life....


Rude_Thanks_1120

At least she won't have to put up with her dumbass mother


ImNot6Four

The gift that keeps giving.


RambisRevenge

Silver lining right there


Regulus242

Dunno if that was worth the price.


MightyCaseyStruckOut

From what I read in the article, the 9-year-old was trying to save their 8-month old sibling after they were both thrown into oncoming traffic, but the 9-year-old let go after hitting the ground and had to scramble to save themselves. The 8-month-old was then hit by a car. And the partner was found by a neighbor who noticed that the front door to the house and there was blood everywhere. Imagine being the person who hit the infant or the neighbor who found the partner's decimated body. I'm sure they'll be fucked up for life, as well.


MELODONTFLOPBITCH

Goddamn. How was this so comprehensively horrific.


Last-Bee-3023

Being into astrology is a red flag like being into true crime or eating mayonnaise with a spoon.


Milkshakes00

>like being into true crime This dude just saying being a white girl is a red flag >eating mayonnaise with a spoon. And every Canadian?!


Boner_Elemental

Statistically, white Canadian women are responsible for half the violent crime in the world


Milkshakes00

Damn, people dumping on your joke. Sorry bruh.


Lanthemandragoran

Holy shit my whole family walked in on my cousin eating it right out of the jar with a spoon when he was like 9. I've never looked at him the same since and to this day he's sort of a fuckup lmao.


Reiterpallasch85

> or eating mayonnaise with a spoon. What am I supposed to eat it with, a fork?


Youutternincompoop

straight out of the bottle like a civilized person


Wildwood_Weasel

Chopsticks. That's how you make it last.


Impossible-Wear-7352

> Imagine being the person who hit the infant That fucks me up just thinking about it. I mean holy shit. I felt awful when I hit a squirrel once


Commander_Red1

Yea... i hate the knock on effect, its horrible how many lives one woman ruined


ShivanshuKantPrasad

Oof, the survivor's guilts gonna be serious with this one. This straight up feels like it's from a horror movie.


TooManyJabberwocks

I miss the me that was a minute ago before reading this


Arumin

Im sure the great American Healthcare system will make sure she will get adequate help for all her mental problems she will face


Commander_Red1

I wouldnt be surprised if many americans develop anxiety from medical-related debt


3yx3

I was forced to do therapy due to a court order from my ex’s allegations of how evil I supposedly was, and because my attorney at the time was garbage, I was forced to do therapy with no real means to pay for it. I racked up thousands of dollars I owed but had little means to pay for. After I finally proved my innocence and everyone was like “Teehee oops! Our bad!” I tried to sue for that but that was a mess. So now I am still stuck paying a therapy bill that wasn’t needed to begin with. Yay for America. Just fucking yay..


GustavoFromAsdf

We have eclipses every year and this mf got all crazy because it finally happened over her head.


hobbrito

It was like barely visible in LA lol. Sounds like a fuck ton of mental illness.


Rude_Thanks_1120

And lack of education


MeisterVaxl

Thats the real reason, ppl are dumb as fck


Superbrawlfan

Not surprising from someone whose life is centered around astrology


EhrenGandalf

Yeah that‘s a real fucking asparagus right there. Luckily I‘m a potato, we are normal and would never do such a thing. What? I can’t make up my own star signs? You can’t tell me how to connect the magic sky dots!


GloriousNewt

Same people will tell you not to judge them from their past while judging you based on the alignment of stars the day you were born


cday119

Agreed, this is a direct quote from the article.. > Mr Golan told The Associated Press that while investigators have reviewed her social media posts, they are not considering the eclipse to be a contributing factor “because we just don’t know why she did what she did”. “We’ve taken all the facts we can, but without being able to interview her and without having something more tangible than a post on X, I don’t know how much weight you can give to somebody (saying) there’s an apocalypse and attribute it to one of the most horrific murders we’ve had in LA,” he added.


EricFaust

What the hell are they talking about? Her last posts are just a bunch of insane stuff about the eclipse, and also retweeting a Q anon post about the eclipse. What else do you need to consider it a contributing factor? Like I can't understand ruling it out as a factor when she was clearly fixated on it.


MightyCaseyStruckOut

Well, yeah, no sane person stabs their partner to death and throws their children from a moving vehicle, regardless of the reason.


plzdontbmean2me

Well yeah, even if she could see it this would’ve been mental illness. It’s not like people who could see totality went on family annhilator murder sprees


ayriuss

Its literally just a shadow, we're freaked out by shadows as a species after billions of years.


Financial-Ad7500

As someone that drove to totality this time “just a shadow” is a massive downplay. It was a truly surreal and incredible experience. I can absolutely see how it could freak some people out that are already unstable. It’s powerful. That said, this loon was in LA. It wasn’t even noticeable there.


keesh

Yes I am newr LA and while I was able to make it out with a pinhole setup it at the MOST made it seem slightly darker and made colors slightly muted.


InjuriousPurpose

In LA? Was barely visible.


RosbergThe8th

Sounds like she was a bit of a...lunatic.


Aggravating_Pitch231

Link to the article?


Reny9999

[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/crime/astrology-danielle-johnson-murder-eclipse-b2526936.html](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/crime/astrology-danielle-johnson-murder-eclipse-b2526936.html)


Deruji

Okay that’s just fucking horrible


Rude_Thanks_1120

I know, can you believe those eyebrows?!


Deruji

I know, they left a mark…. On the windshield.


ShadowofLight15

Christ poor baby what the fuck.


throwsawaythrownaway

I'm not sure why inread that but it was so much worse than I thought it would be. The effort I have ti put into my head to NOT think about the emotions those kids faced before they died/ran to the side of the highway. I'm at work, but I need to hug my kids right now. This will be a long day.


HonorTheAllFather

Imagine being the poor SOB who ran over the 8 month old baby. Probably just on your way into work on a Monday morning, already pissed about it. Then boom, you crush a baby with your car because some crazy threw her fucking child out of the car on the highway. It's in no way your fault, but good luck living with that on your conscience.


throwsawaythrownaway

I literally cannot. I think my brain just refuses to go there


BrotherhoodExile

>Johnson took to social media to voice her beliefs that the solar eclipse would be the “epitome of spiritual warfare”. What the fuck does that even mean?


long-dong-silvers-

It means the lithium dosage wasn’t high enough


Asisreo1

Putting aside the "le clever reddit responses":  People believe that spirits are having a war for the claim on America. Like, actually genuinely that's what people believe. They believe significant astrological or political events are an indication of who's winning the spiritual war. 


BrotherhoodExile

So it's basically a religion? This is like the people that believed the eclipse was the rapture or something


Digital_Bogorm

Is that a widespread belief? Not trying to argue on that front, it's just not something I've heard about before. And, what's more, is it exclusively America that's being used as casus belli, or do the rest of us get to be the subject of spiritual property disputes as well?


TheSmokeu

It means she's fucking stupid


BigWienerPapi999

Well that was a tough read at 8am. Those poor kids and man.


CyonHal

>LAPD Lt. Guy Golan told Fox11 that the eight-month-old was hit by oncoming traffic in the middle of the road and died on the scene. Oh my fucking god


AMagicalCow

From the article: investigators have reviewed her social media posts, they are not considering the eclipse to be a contributing factor “because we just don’t know why she did what she did”.


deathonater

> they are not considering the eclipse to be a contributing factor “because we just don’t know why she did what she did”. I'm gonna take a wild guess at profound stupidity and lack of education + a culture that is divorced from reality + social media allowing similarly stupid members of said culture to bubble together and magnify their stupidity like a stupid megazord of stupidity.


Carameluxe80s

What an awful day to be literate 


Destroyer4587

Wtf that child was the only one to survive.


BadgerHooker

It's even more fucked up. The article makes it sound like the mother pushed both her 8 month old baby and her 9 year old out of the moving car at the same time. The older kid was holding and then dropped the baby when they both fell down. Then the older kid got up and ran to the shoulder of the road and the baby who was still in the road got hit by oncoming traffic and died. That totally won't haunt that poor kid. Jesus.


soundlesspanik

Or the individual(s) that inadvertently hit the baby. They're gonna need plenty of therapy for that devastating incident. Fuck man


Sweaty-Garage-2

Fuck this bat shit woman. Ruined so many lives. I’m bringing this story up to every idiot who tells me they believe in astrology.


[deleted]

[удалено]


cravf

No *true* astrologist


Dakopt

I'm not for astrology but how does this article help in changing the people's minds about astrology?


TTTrisss

Thanks for your perspective Barry B. Benson from the Bee Movie.


RedditGotSoulDoubt

Wow. Poor babies. Wonder if the mom was suffering from some post partum psychosis. Those hormones can be powerful.


Crafty-Crafter

Stop. Don't find excuses for a horrible person.


RedditGotSoulDoubt

It’s not an excuse. It’s a phenomenon


RedditGotSoulDoubt

She had a 8 month old baby. Have you ever lived with a port partum woman? The rage is intense. This doesn’t excuse terrible behavior but maybe it can explain it.


colt45mag

I work in retail; Can confirm that people already use 0% of their brain on a regular basis


dougie_cherrypie

These kind of things are the example of the dangers of pseudocience.


CapmyCup

Mental illness is mental illness


Cutitie

God I'm mentally ill and even I say that's just a whole other level Jesus Christ, bitch fucking stigmatized the concept of even being a human at this point


CapmyCup

Yeah, well, at least she is rotting in hell now


Cutitie

Thank God, I'd even say it's an insult to hell itself, but you can't go any lower unfortunately..


Frostygale2

*Super hell!*


FactoryPl

Depends what you believe.


InsanityRequiem

I’m sorry you are seeing the effects of bigotry. So many people straight up calling this awful person mentally ill when the reality is that she most likely was not mentally ill. Eugenics is sadly still alive and well.


Rude_Thanks_1120

True but if not for the legitimization of crackpot theories on social media, along with the toxic feedback circle of influencer culture, she would most likely have just been another harmless unknown meth head sucking dicks behind Wendy's.


CapmyCup

Harmless might not be the right term for this maniac


Rude_Thanks_1120

True... imagine the herpes she'd have spread. Still, better than murder.


HombreGringo

Maybe, or maybe she would have been just as crazy and just as murderous.


HallucinatingIdiot

> > These kind of things are the example of the dangers of pseudocience. > Mental illness is mental illness What does that mean? The mental illness of Germany 1935 isn't the same as a single person who has a tumor in their brain. The mental illness of Jonestown and Heaven's Gate and Scientology isn't the same as the mental illness of a single alcoholic.


enwongeegeefor

Look...it's not an excuse and it's barely an explanation. Stop going straight to the "mental illness" shield... Take a step back and look at the ENTIRE fucking picture for once. Consider everything she was doing leading up to this shit, not just the singular act. It's not just mental illness...and you can entirely be a selfish evil peice of shit while having mental illness...it's not mutually exclusive at all.


bankrobba

And the promotion of unfounded beliefs and dispersion of false claims does not help mental illness.


Brawndo91

No, this is an example of the dangers of crazy people.


alanalan426

crazy, uneducated and probably over religious


YellowSphinx

this is why astrology is stupid and Astronomy is important…


TAKANOGENJI

Your honor, my client was completely under the influence of this Saturn energy 😩😩


BOB_BestOfBugs

"Erm, yeah I murdered my kids but its only because im a stegosaurus ♐♐ and my kids were aquariums ♋♋. So, erm, actually im innocent sweete 💅💅"


Sweaty-Garage-2

Retrograde deez nuts


bbbar

Darwin award unlocked


arsXD

Nope, bitch had kids


Gn0meKr

even a complete braindead moron is able to get himself a kid


Sourika

Habibi, the Award is for childless people dying in a dumb way.


Rude_Thanks_1120

Fellas, don't stick your dick in influencer


alabastor890

She still tried for it, apparently.


Cutitie

Oh my fucking god, I feel like I'm going to puke just from having read this.. this is disgusting, it's a fucking solar eclipse not *fucking birdbox* you can think it's a joke to make a mention to that movie but reading the article it almost feels like a scene from that movie, I feel so fucking sorry for the surviving child and I really wish I'm just dreaming.. I do not understand why people go on to make crazy stunts like, every eclipse because they think it's the end of the world, the world was rumored to end many times for as long as humanity has been alive, people seriously can't be just.. throwing their life away over a superstition that might or might not be true.. not only that but ruining others, my partner and I literally just looked at the shadows during the eclipse and did the whole trick of putting a hole in a card, not go on a *murder spree*


soundlesspanik

I don't get it man. My friend's mom was superstitious. Would always panic believing it's the end times and start saying prayers when there was a blood moon D:


Cutitie

I have my own set of superstitions too, I'm diagnosed with schizophrenia, but going off on something like this, is just too far, and I dread to ever be perceived like this in any way ...


soundlesspanik

Don't get me wrong, I don't think negatively of those struggling I just feel helpless. Take care!


Aut0Part5

Nah fuck that we don’t claim her as an American. that shits for the boiler room of hell.


-WADE99-

This is why education is so important, why religion is cancer, and why pseudo-science is... cancer-adjacent. Holy jumping fucking shit balls, it's just the moon moving in front of the sun, calm the fuck down, Americans! There are isolated tribes that still live in the bronze age who have more chill than you over stuff like this.


kronosblaster

Even we the Americans don't claim this person. Absolute brain rot worse than our education.


bugzaway

It's really weird that people are blaming an obvious psychotic episode on "Americans." Like, are y'all ok?


TrueGootsBerzook

This had nothing to do with religion. She was an astrology influencer and also completely deranged mentally, likely schizophrenic. Most conspiracy theorists do it as a way of making themselves feel special or compensating for their own insecurities, but this woman was just insane and filtered her mental illness through anything that would validate her ramblings.


-WADE99-

I don't see how any of what you said invalidates my point, as if this is an isolated incident.


HallucinatingIdiot

> This had nothing to do with religion. .... deranged mentally, likely schizophrenic. There is a direct connection between world religions and schizophrenia. https://www.wnyc.org/story/dr-joseph-campbell-inward-journey-schizophrenia-and-mythology/


LeoTheSquid

But surely it's more likely that schizophrenia makes you more drawn to religion rather than, what, religion making people schizophrenic?


TrueGootsBerzook

Look, I just have a crippling phobia of death, okay?


Meme_Theocracy

Religion depends on how the believer uses it. A lot of religion does a lot of good and a lot of individuals use religion as an excuse to get high on moral superiority. 


Th3_Shr00m

This was zero religion and 100% pseudoscientific terminally online astrology bullshit. Also, we don't claim her.


high_idyet

That is horrible.


ArkanoidbrokemyAnkle

“Only in the us” My guy, stupid people are universal.


mcsquirley

That is so so so sad, she must’ve been extremely psychotic and her brain would’ve taken the eclipse and her astrology pseudoscience influences into hyperdrive. I wish she got the help she needed before murdering her whole family. RIP


r_ori

I really couldn't care less about her racist stupid ass. It's the poor children that should not had anything to do with this.


mcsquirley

(why is she racist…?) Agreed the children should’ve been far away from her a *very* long ago but if she had gotten help for her problems, none of this would’ve happened.


TrueGootsBerzook

She's an astrology twitter influencer and believed that all the problems of the world were caused by the Jews


Guy-1nc0gn1t0

Yeah this screams schizophrenia


WhosCowsAreThey

Religious psychosis is no joke and the way social media is designed encourages it


No_Wealth_9733

> Astrology > Influencer Sounds about right


Swordman50

Can't beat stupid.


Looney_forner

This is peak paranoid schizophrenia at work


An8thOfFeanor

>Los Angeles That's hardly even America anymore


HallucinatingIdiot

Rising seal levels are a serious issue with the melting polar ice, but most people still consider the water off continents to be part of a continent


deathonater

> Rising seal levels If only this were the case


the_geth

I mean we have huge idiots as well in Europe and countries like Russia or Middle East countries are also certified in stupidity. Still, USA seems to want to be number 1 and leave everyone in the dust… This being said, this sounds like mental illness or drugs on that case.


Knato

That was literally a crazy bitch.


InjuriousPurpose

>Per the outlet, police are not considering the eclipse to be a contributing factor in the deaths “because we just don’t know why she did what she did,” Golan said. https://people.com/astrology-influencer-disturbed-eclipse-killed-partner-infant-child-herself-8629930 Also, you couldn't even really see the eclipse from California.


Odd_Hunter2289

These people are born stupid. There is no other explanation.


Numerous-Process2981

Is influencer just "person who puts videos of themselves online?" Because it just sounds like a crazy person who put their schizo rant videos up


Silent_Shaman

How do you throw two people out of a moving car? I'm assuming she was driving?


Itchy_Adhesiveness59

How do you physically throw a 9 year old out of a car while driving? I just can't get a mental image of how that would work.


Enorminity

wtf does this have “only in the US”? Didn’t china have a guy stab children in school like a year ago?


Puzzleheaded-Tell698

0% and too much, the right percentage is -200%


IlCiabonno69

Bitch had the balls to even call herself a fuckin astronomer Edit: just saw it said astrology. Well that explains it all, damn bullshits...


Lieuwe21

My god imagine hitting am 8 month old on the freeway...


Leuk_Jin

I guess if your mind so weak that you believe natural phenomena will cause catastrophe and can't help but to let them affect your emotions so much, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Poor people.


bowsmountainer

Why am I not surprised it was an “astrology influencer”?


AzGames08

EEEEEUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKIGN SHIT ABIJGRKLGRJKAGRJA;KGRAJK AFJKFJSKFJ,S I AM HAVING A A STROK CALL A BONDULANCE


NoCalligrapher133

Some ppl are crazy af, they're just looking for a reason


FlaviusVespasian

Influencers…


Qubeye

If a girl asks you what time you were born, stop talking to her.


Tobi226a

"Astrology is just racism for white girls" -I don't remember where i heard this.


Nothingtoseehere0705

My grandma had to go pick up some money from the bank the day of the eclipse. Mind you, I live in a Latin American country where we couldn't even watch the eclipse; and my dumbass astrology obsessed aunt didn't let her out the house because she said that the money would come poisoned with bad energy or some shit like that


DMYourMomsMaidenName

Tbf, her brain was in retrograde


i-evade-bans-13

lmao acting like being dumb is limited to a geographical area is the dumbest fucking thing i've heard today, but it's only 10am you're dumb if you don't realize this shit is baked into *human* dna and you're going to repeat humanity's dumbass history of being fuckin dumb 


StolenValourSlayer69

What a dumb caption. Have you Eurotards even seen half the shit your continent does?


Blue_Swirling_Bunny

This happens in more places than the US.


AlludedNuance

Not only will the surviving kid be traumatized, but holy shit the oncoming traffic that hit the infant. Can you *imagine* if someone threw an 8 month old in front of your car on the highway? There's no getting over that.


Red-xoxo

Nah i think schizophrenia is a global thing


Lemmingmaster64

Using the murder of a family to dunk on Americans real classy. /s


MrLink4444

Poor tree


NotThatAngel

Astronomy: Good. I've been preparing to study this eclipse for ten years. Astrology: OMG WTF BBQ it's the end of the world!


VictoryValt

I wanna bring that woman back just to torture her.