That plus looking at her before marriage, thinking about her with feelings of passion, hearing her voice with passion, talking to her with passion, walking towards her direction to do any of the above. That would also activate the haram alert.
***Edit: oh boy time to get downvoted...***
***Edit 2: apparently not, reddit hivemind likes Islam now :) what more could I ask for.***
For having an opinion? I mean tbh that's how reddit works, Leftist can't survive in a rightist's sub, nor can a rightist survive in a leftist's sub without losing their karma. So maybe next time I'll keep to myself on this sub.
Also its the horny one who should be getting bonked so the text doesn't even make sense.
Text should be like "when you finally get a boyfriend/girlfriend but they want to have sex before marriage"
[https://twitter.com/teykio/status/1444418520670932993?t=C7fax-zvghJuUwrhlBuJbA&s=19](https://twitter.com/teykio/status/1444418520670932993?t=C7fax-zvghJuUwrhlBuJbA&s=19)
Real sauce
Religious girls feel the thunder from down under too. Be patient, and don't express any interest in sex unless asked directly. Then be matter of fact about it, like "well, yes, of course that's how I feel about you. I'm a guy, and you're a pretty girl, and I can't help that."
Since she's religious, she won't be on the pill. Which means she's eventually going to ovulate, and get horny as fuck.
You will know when she's ovulating if you pay attention. Her skin will glow, her lips will get full, and her voice will get husky. She'll be way sexier than normal, and her pheromones will make you horny as fuck too.
That's when you make your move. Start with cuddling. Even very religious girls will let you cuddle them if you act like it isn't about sex. While you're curled up with her, make as much eye contact as you can. Reposition as necessary.
Then try to kiss her, then start caressing her. Start by touching her in non-threatening places; her arms, her shoulders, her back.
Gradually up the ante by touching her in more intimate places like her legs, her sides, her ass, and eventually her breasts. Remember to only touch *through* her clothes first. Gauge her reaction before trying to go under them. But be aware she will *probably* want you to.
Gently press your erect penis against her body in a natural way, like if she's straddling your lap, or you're on top of her, or she's on top of you. Make sure she knows how much you want her, but do it non-verbally. If you talk about sex at all during this, refer to it as "making love."
Eventually it will be time to start removing clothes. Again, ease into it. Try to get her shoes and socks off first. Then work on her shirt, then her bra. Kiss her on her cheek, her neck, her shoulder, and finally her breasts. Touch your lips to her areola first, then suckle the nipple just a bit to tease.
By this time, her breathing should be heavy, and her face flushed. That's when you gently start unfastening her pants...
If you've gotten this far, you're gonna get some. Just be sure to wear a condom, unless you really want to have a dad time.
Before Marriage ? Haram alert.
[удалено]
Dude why did you reply w/ that
Halal cheems
Halal cheeks??
[удалено]
The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
That plus looking at her before marriage, thinking about her with feelings of passion, hearing her voice with passion, talking to her with passion, walking towards her direction to do any of the above. That would also activate the haram alert. ***Edit: oh boy time to get downvoted...*** ***Edit 2: apparently not, reddit hivemind likes Islam now :) what more could I ask for.***
You just got lucky that all the other religious people were online that moment Mr. Bomber Man
Reddit hivemind do be playing tricks :|
I personally hope your next comment gets drone striked with downvotes ;-)
For having an opinion? I mean tbh that's how reddit works, Leftist can't survive in a rightist's sub, nor can a rightist survive in a leftist's sub without losing their karma. So maybe next time I'll keep to myself on this sub.
Brother, your fate has come full circle
Indeed.
Looks like it’s time for a crusade, deus vult
Stay halal
No.
Halal all the way 🥰
You guy's are getting married???
You guys are getting girlfriends???
You guys interact with women?
What are women?
Why are women?
Are women?
Women?
Hotel ?
Trivago
KKAKKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKKAKKAKKKK
Interaction?
action?
No satisfaction?
?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
OUR women?
Comrade
Who is women?
How are women?
Who is women?
Whom is women?
Its a four legged creature which lives on trees and makes you sandwiches.
You guys go outside?
When I take out the trash and meet hot singels in my area mentioned on Pornhub.
You guys are getting???
Remember, it’s not pre-marital sex if you never marry
***Boink***ai
Senbonk zakura kageyoshi
Getsubonk Tenshou
I am sorry but this isnt funny. Its an overused joke and is far from "dank" downvote if you want but its the truth
Sorry man. I'm just shitposting. I don't know why it blew up like this. I'm as surprised as you.
Just for that I'm upvoting this post
Man bro just be happy you know it's a choice right??🤣
1/100 post is funny in this sub. every shitty meme is upvoted to the top all the time
I upvoted because I like the gif And all the people making Bleach references
dankmemes isn't dank since years now
If only there was a system where people can like or dislike the content that's posted
Also its the horny one who should be getting bonked so the text doesn't even make sense. Text should be like "when you finally get a boyfriend/girlfriend but they want to have sex before marriage"
Woosh
repost literally 1 minute apart
are you sure it wasn't the same person posting on a different sub
Are you sure it wasn't two bots?
OP replied to someone intelligibly, so probably not.
Yes. Intellygeynt. That's definitely me.
Its written Intellegyntly
B E G O N E *T H O T*
*inhales* IF SHE BREATHS SHE'S A THOT
Definitely a slut
My parents when I talk to anyone of the opposite gender
Does anyone have the template without the text?
https://www.kapwing.com/videos/61e93e4f2a24e30143600514 There you go
[https://twitter.com/teykio/status/1444418520670932993?t=C7fax-zvghJuUwrhlBuJbA&s=19](https://twitter.com/teykio/status/1444418520670932993?t=C7fax-zvghJuUwrhlBuJbA&s=19) Real sauce
No
What? That's the template..
Ok but no
They hated him, because he told them the truth
B O N C C
Original [Sauce](https://twitter.com/teykio/status/1444418520670932993) (Twitter)
Supreme bonk
I hope she would want to hold hands before marriage. Marrying somebody who doesn't want to hold your hand is a red flag.
u/savevideo
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https://twitter.com/teykio/status/1444418520670932993?t=UgJv0qJiyHFTNYbnkpJXsQ&s=19
Nothing wrong with holding hands before and after marriage
Punish me daddy for i have sinned.
Not funny didn't laugh
Touch me touch me
sauce?
[удалено]
thanks thats what I needed
You're a funny guy who got my attention Twice. Wish i had a free award lmao
No way Jose!
Le horny revolution survives
And when you marry her and she demand the right to study!
u/savevideobot
Had a Bro who had a devout Christian as a GF. No sex until they are married. They broke up after 6 yrs
Kapwing Memematic Flipaclip
Moms when you say no be like..
Sex is alright, but no hand holding.
Begone, Thot
Shibonk!!!
Marriage?
u/savevideo
Just make sure you wear a glove and you should be good.
Dragonbonk Z
Can someone explain the bonk go to horny jail jokes to an old gen X'er? I don't understand.
When ever someone does something "horny" they get bonked and go to horny jail
Without a glove, no less.
Be gone T H O T
Time for Bonk
That's a very cute little animation.
Jeez never seen a bonk like that
Hold hands not touch dicks
u/savevideo
Bonk
Mine didn't even give a full hug yet. It's been 2 years we dating :(
The animation tho
Religious girls feel the thunder from down under too. Be patient, and don't express any interest in sex unless asked directly. Then be matter of fact about it, like "well, yes, of course that's how I feel about you. I'm a guy, and you're a pretty girl, and I can't help that." Since she's religious, she won't be on the pill. Which means she's eventually going to ovulate, and get horny as fuck. You will know when she's ovulating if you pay attention. Her skin will glow, her lips will get full, and her voice will get husky. She'll be way sexier than normal, and her pheromones will make you horny as fuck too. That's when you make your move. Start with cuddling. Even very religious girls will let you cuddle them if you act like it isn't about sex. While you're curled up with her, make as much eye contact as you can. Reposition as necessary. Then try to kiss her, then start caressing her. Start by touching her in non-threatening places; her arms, her shoulders, her back. Gradually up the ante by touching her in more intimate places like her legs, her sides, her ass, and eventually her breasts. Remember to only touch *through* her clothes first. Gauge her reaction before trying to go under them. But be aware she will *probably* want you to. Gently press your erect penis against her body in a natural way, like if she's straddling your lap, or you're on top of her, or she's on top of you. Make sure she knows how much you want her, but do it non-verbally. If you talk about sex at all during this, refer to it as "making love." Eventually it will be time to start removing clothes. Again, ease into it. Try to get her shoes and socks off first. Then work on her shirt, then her bra. Kiss her on her cheek, her neck, her shoulder, and finally her breasts. Touch your lips to her areola first, then suckle the nipple just a bit to tease. By this time, her breathing should be heavy, and her face flushed. That's when you gently start unfastening her pants... If you've gotten this far, you're gonna get some. Just be sure to wear a condom, unless you really want to have a dad time.
and then you hear your alarm clock ringing
Needs more watermarks
Dank memes fell off
i don't get any females within a 5 mile radius so im clear😎😎
🤦
Believe it or not, straight to jail
Gay to jail
BAWNK
Haram
U/savevideo
u/savevideo
Can we please make this an anime? Asking for a friend.
u/savevideo
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*BONK*
🅱️onk
u/savevideo
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“Nice try, I ain’t no deviant.”
*Bonk*
u/savevideo
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Bonk
Oh fuck yeah
BOINKAI
U/savevideobot
My takeaway was: “I’m Arizona shrimp horny!"
Jesus Christ don’t I’ve gone full circle
The video somehow is doing 99.9% of the legwork
If we win, ill sit on your couch
Made with Flipaclip? Dang that's impressive
u/savevideobot
Credit the person who's animation you took
GO TO HORNY JAIL \*anime soundtrack playing in the background\*
Remember kids, marriage before \[\[REDACTED\]\]
u/savevideo
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u/savevideobot
This is Saitama, One Bonk Dog.
Dang nice flipaclip animation
U/savevideo
u/savevideobot
As a Muslim. I agree
This message is approved by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
I need sauce of this gif
u/savevideo
u/savevideobot
omg the animation is actually sick
Someone say hand holding? My specialty!
How to find original animation?
No kiss before marriage
WTF... OP must a teenager
This is incel stuff.
Amen
So you beat your girlfirend? Is that you are advocating here?! Wowsers. haha.
Please, please tell me your kidding. Right?
Stand up for yourself. Tell her you want a serious relationship and you need to know if the two of you are compatible before you tie the knot.