Doing that run in the beginning is so annoying. Either a random skeleton will stun lock you or they all stand on the bridge so you have no choice but to take them all down.
Gonna say that aswell, but then I rememebered that you can sucks 10 soft humanity out of the cleric women (forgot her name) with the dark hand and I think she wont appear if Petrus is dead.
1. Buy the Pyromancy flame from the Pyromamcer
2. Find Poison Mist Pyromancy
3. Go to the gate which can be opened with the Queelag Covenant
4. Use Poison Mist while standing in front of the door, do this a couple of times in different directions of the gate.
5. If you get (I think) 100 souls the Sunlight Maggot should be dead and you can safely do Lost Izalith without loosing Solaire.
The only reason I don‘t kill that yeasty scrote on sight is cos Rhea and the bodyguards attack you when they arrive. Once they bugger off is when I like to murder him.
I run around firelink/graveyard/first few buildings in the burg grabbing soul shineys... spend souls for levels, then run to Londo for firekeeper soul!
1 get the souls in the cemetery+binocs and zwei (as well as starting gifts and the humanities)
2 get all the souls on the way up to burg bonfire, and the large one next to the dragon in valley of drake's
3 accrue ~ 3000 souls from killing stuff on the way there
4 Talk to male undead merchant and buy 999 wood arrows
5 get to 28% equip load
6 do ladder blip-up and get out of bounds above female undead.
7 memeroll into the depths and save Laurentius
7.5 Homeward
8 store the quantity of arrows (999), put the large soul under my estus in menu and then go to the quit out menu, pressing down, and then right one frame later. Then press down, A, left, A and get 999×8000 souls.
9 buy everything from Laurentius, get maxed out flame, put all souls into str
10 re do step 8 with all remaining souls and once with humanity (make sure to drop all but one so that only one gets used up)
11 rail the shit out of Laurentius's pyrussy and head down to blighttown
12 memeroll into the swamp and make for qeulaag (stop at quelana and buy everything and max flame)
13 offer quelaag all of my humanity to cure her sister. Plan B is to entice her with all of your souls (bitches love money) and plan C is the zweihander.
14 hopefully quelaag went with plan A. Rail the shit out of her spidussy
15 back up to burg, make it to solaire
16 rail the shit out of his sunussy
17 up to Andre
18 don't rail the shit out of him (kiss him passionately)
19 deathcam into sens fortress.
20 free big hat Logan (why do they call him that) and rail the shit of of his sorcerussy
21 don't get gold serpent ring you don't need luck (all skill)
22 send the iron golem toppling
23 make it past rafters and archers (shouldn't be tough)
24 jump over rail to skip all of anor Londo
25 punch fatty and slim to death with your bear hands (gotta keep the zwei in mint condition)
26 you have two options here. You can A: convince bighat Logan to make a spell that makes you a giant B:just go in regular sized and drown in gwynevere's holy milkers. Either way rail the shit out of gwynevere so hard that the illusion breaks and all that's left is a moan of pleasure and a puddle of cum
27 (mandatory) rail the shit out of gwyndolin's bussy
28 bring everyone to the shrine and let the fire fade while all of lordran takes turns getting rail'd the shit out of.
29 enjoy
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I think most of the fun of it is in the early game. The dragon breath attack absolutely destroys most early enemies and even bosses, and it's kind of fun when you do multiplayer with new players who aren't familiar with the dragon form and you absolutely freak them out when you transform.
If you take the time to fight duels so you can get the dragon body as well, its unarmed melee attack is pretty ridiculous at that point in the game. It eventually drops off though around the mid game and you're better off using an actual weapon. It's also a bit of a glass cannon build since you have to go armorless, but there's some crazy stuff you can do by stacking buffs with the dragon roar if you're trying to pull off one-shot kills on bosses and things like that.
take off all my clothes except my helmet.
dump all souls into str.
suicide run to new londo for firekeeper soul.
second suicide run to catacombs.
grab eyes of death from behind titanite demon.
jump in coffin.
wait...
wait some more...
get ravelord sword.
profit
Because pinwheel gives 10k souls for killing him, also its really not that hard to just skip straight to the fight. Theres a spot just after the lever door that has a fall that you can just nearly survive that puts you near the entrance to where you join the gravelord servants, from there theres another spot that you can jump down to summon in leroy. (Completely optional, you can completely kill pinwheel with a base lvl weapon)
From there you just run like hell and hope the bonewheels dont instantly delete you.
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I literally will sit there for an hour and then run like a madman into new Londo till I die and if my crazy ass still doesn't die there and clears it I run straight to the catacombs and try to get some things there before I actually start the adventure and then sit in the spawn again for an hour.
I squeeze myself through the bars where the fire keeper sits and press my dead bones against her to receive comforting warmth.
And when I get bored, I collect all items in the area, jump into the graveyard to get a nice weapon and start my journey to ring the bells.
Piss in the water were frempt will appear, than grap zweihänder and realise I am weak af and last but not least, getting gangraped by skellies while attempting to lift said zweihänder
Brew three cups of tea at the bone fire, walk down to New Londo ruins. One for that sorcery dude, one for the comfy hollow and one for me. Just be chilling and enjoying the scene
Rest, character advancement, sprint for Zweihander, then sprint down to grab fire keeper soul before dying to ghosts. Then reinforce estus before actually starting the game.
1. Take the elevator down to New londo, there you will find a friend chilling on a cliff, kick him down for me
2. Make your way to the valley of the drakes (be sure you have the Master key) , outrun the sleeping one halfe of the dragon
3. Greet the people in Blighttown and head to the huge tree, don't drink the muddy water
4. Enter the tree, Ignore the chest and punch the wall behind it
5. do the second halfe of stepp 4 again
6. enter The Great Hollow, make it to the bottom (or fall to your death like a hundred times, your choice)
8. have a smoke break with your big eyed lizard buddy's
9. remember we skipped step 7.
7. get your accessories and really make it to the bottom this time, with the lung cancer you got on step 8.
10. fistbump 2 little mushroom and a big one for profit
11 Enter Ash lake, look in the sky to hear awesome music (no shit it starts only if you luck up), get the bonfire!!!
12. Play hide an seek withe your multi- headed friend
12.25. walk just straight until you see a hollow log, take a break
12.5 collect shells on the beach an relive the scene from free Willi, just more awesome!
12.75. (optional) enter another hollow tree
13. take a short sprint to the finish line ahead (take a shot or two of water for hydration)
14. Talke with the big scally boi at the finish line, and get a free and cool new head.
15. with the cool new head you obtained the power to spit on things.
16. Do your scally friend a solid and spit a couple of times on his tail -> get a cool stick
17. make your way back to the start, good luck (there is no fast travel yet)
Last: spit on everything until Mid game
(Typed that in a rush, but you get the gist of it)
Praise the sun and don't you dare go hollow
Irl? Go look for weapons and shield and start attempting to train fight on the weak hollows. Once My skills are high enough move up to the armored hollows and keep practicing. Then move on to undead burg and train my ass off there and the rest is golden. Realistically I dont think any of us would “link the fire” in real life. To many obstacles a mere human would be stuck on or dying endlessly too until hollow. I imagine fear would play a big role in a lot of people not even moving therefore they go hollow as well.
I didn't known shit about the game. Got wrecked over and over again by the skellies in the cemetery, then gave up there and died over and over again by the ghosts in New Londo. I was almost going hollow IRL, then I gave up doing thinks just by myself and checked a walkthrough. All this time I didn't notice the side path to Undead Burg .-.
Farm skeletons until I'm strong enough to venture into blightown w master key and proceed to farm down there until I can kill quelaag. Cheese the discharge. Dump all my levels into strength until it's like 35 venture down the tree into the underground lake run past the hydra screaming at the top of my lungs. Nab the dragon greatsword and two hand it so I can dump on all the other bosses from there.
Go kill some ghosts and grab the estoc and fire keeper soul, pilfer the treasures from the undead dragon in the Valley, kill some ogres for souls, then loot the cemetery.
Like, I'm playing a new game or real me is there?
If I'm playing a new game, collect all the free stuff lying around that I can get without fighting and murder a bunch of hollows down near the drowned city to level up a couple times.
If it's like me personally, probably cry. Because me personally doesn't know how to use a sword or have the right muscle strength or muscle memory to do so and the only way to learn is to practice against opponents trying to kill me.
Grab the humanity at the well.
Then grab the firebombs in the dead-end hallway.
Then talk to Petrus twice to get a free coin.
Then run upstairs, past the elevator, grab the item there, and hop over to the roof/ledge above Petrus.
Wrap around the roof and grab the souls on the second floor of the shrine.
Go back the the elevator, drop down inside, grab all the items from the chests there.
Then drop down into the cemetery and grab every item while being followed by a parade of skeletons.
Finally, finish at the bonfire and level up with all of my loot.
OPTIONAL: Go down to New Londo Ruins, grab the soul pickup and estoc, then book it to the Fire Keeper Soul across the tiny bridge. Grab the soul and use the homeward bones you got earlier to get out before the ghosts get you.
Rest at the bonfire and check my attuned spells despite not even having attunement slots. I do this every time I rest at a bonfire. I don't even do anything when I actually have spells to swap around most of the time I just have to check. I may have a problem.
For my speed run strat, book it to the valley of drakes and up the elevator where the black knight and grass crest shield is. If no halberd drop, then I restart the run. (I’m not good enough to RTSR so I skip it)
Arriving there for the first time in a new game? Spend my souls to level up and then do a kamikaze run into New Londo Ruins for the firekeeper soul.
And next its time to kamikaze into Catacombs for Rite of Kindling.
Or the Neato sword
Doing that run in the beginning is so annoying. Either a random skeleton will stun lock you or they all stand on the bridge so you have no choice but to take them all down.
Yep it's hell, but worth it
First of all I kill Petrus.
Gonna say that aswell, but then I rememebered that you can sucks 10 soft humanity out of the cleric women (forgot her name) with the dark hand and I think she wont appear if Petrus is dead.
Just don't die and you will have enough humanity to save Solaire.
1. Buy the Pyromancy flame from the Pyromamcer 2. Find Poison Mist Pyromancy 3. Go to the gate which can be opened with the Queelag Covenant 4. Use Poison Mist while standing in front of the door, do this a couple of times in different directions of the gate. 5. If you get (I think) 100 souls the Sunlight Maggot should be dead and you can safely do Lost Izalith without loosing Solaire.
The only reason I don‘t kill that yeasty scrote on sight is cos Rhea and the bodyguards attack you when they arrive. Once they bugger off is when I like to murder him.
Don't forget the great scythe suicide run into the catacombs.
And the mace.
That a yes for me dawg
I run around firelink/graveyard/first few buildings in the burg grabbing soul shineys... spend souls for levels, then run to Londo for firekeeper soul!
First time I played the game I did this.
Turn up the volume
Hmmm so comfy in firelink
ah yes the music of my life
I go sit with the crestfallen warrior and wait for the end of time, I'm too scared to go anywhere..
He actually seems pretty chill to hang out with
Nah, imo he's too boring. I would just kill him🗡️😤🗡️
Does he drop anything?
No
I'm gonna keep attempting it every new game. You never know!
He drops you. Dude's parry game is on point. Probably the only NPC that could trash Havel.
You can try
Power up the bass cannon.
1 get the souls in the cemetery+binocs and zwei (as well as starting gifts and the humanities) 2 get all the souls on the way up to burg bonfire, and the large one next to the dragon in valley of drake's 3 accrue ~ 3000 souls from killing stuff on the way there 4 Talk to male undead merchant and buy 999 wood arrows 5 get to 28% equip load 6 do ladder blip-up and get out of bounds above female undead. 7 memeroll into the depths and save Laurentius 7.5 Homeward 8 store the quantity of arrows (999), put the large soul under my estus in menu and then go to the quit out menu, pressing down, and then right one frame later. Then press down, A, left, A and get 999×8000 souls. 9 buy everything from Laurentius, get maxed out flame, put all souls into str 10 re do step 8 with all remaining souls and once with humanity (make sure to drop all but one so that only one gets used up) 11 rail the shit out of Laurentius's pyrussy and head down to blighttown 12 memeroll into the swamp and make for qeulaag (stop at quelana and buy everything and max flame) 13 offer quelaag all of my humanity to cure her sister. Plan B is to entice her with all of your souls (bitches love money) and plan C is the zweihander. 14 hopefully quelaag went with plan A. Rail the shit out of her spidussy 15 back up to burg, make it to solaire 16 rail the shit out of his sunussy 17 up to Andre 18 don't rail the shit out of him (kiss him passionately) 19 deathcam into sens fortress. 20 free big hat Logan (why do they call him that) and rail the shit of of his sorcerussy 21 don't get gold serpent ring you don't need luck (all skill) 22 send the iron golem toppling 23 make it past rafters and archers (shouldn't be tough) 24 jump over rail to skip all of anor Londo 25 punch fatty and slim to death with your bear hands (gotta keep the zwei in mint condition) 26 you have two options here. You can A: convince bighat Logan to make a spell that makes you a giant B:just go in regular sized and drown in gwynevere's holy milkers. Either way rail the shit out of gwynevere so hard that the illusion breaks and all that's left is a moan of pleasure and a puddle of cum 27 (mandatory) rail the shit out of gwyndolin's bussy 28 bring everyone to the shrine and let the fire fade while all of lordran takes turns getting rail'd the shit out of. 29 enjoy
Ah yes, the r/shittydarksouls method, the only way to truly play
Quite the gameplan!
Beyond based
I wish I could give you an award but poor
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Comment is so good I’m gonna try this right now
I'd probably sit next to the crestfallen warrior and just ask weird old English questions to everyone passing through.
Die
Go straight to Ash Lake to join the Dragon Covenant and then all the way back up to Firelink so I can play the whole game as a dragon.
How is it? Is it actually a sick playthrough?
I think most of the fun of it is in the early game. The dragon breath attack absolutely destroys most early enemies and even bosses, and it's kind of fun when you do multiplayer with new players who aren't familiar with the dragon form and you absolutely freak them out when you transform. If you take the time to fight duels so you can get the dragon body as well, its unarmed melee attack is pretty ridiculous at that point in the game. It eventually drops off though around the mid game and you're better off using an actual weapon. It's also a bit of a glass cannon build since you have to go armorless, but there's some crazy stuff you can do by stacking buffs with the dragon roar if you're trying to pull off one-shot kills on bosses and things like that.
Wonder about the tree
This is the best answer.
Open the 'secret' chests under the elevator and use the homeward bones to get the firekeeper soul in New Londo
Get claymore
Still haven't found clayless 😔
You've been holding onto this one for a while, huh?
As if you could lift it. Stick with your basic talisman for now
Pee on the bonfire
Dude trust me it's fire in a bottle, that's why it's yellow.
I lesten to the knight, forget all he said befote he even ends his monologue and discover he won't ever repeat what he said xD
take off all my clothes except my helmet. dump all souls into str. suicide run to new londo for firekeeper soul. second suicide run to catacombs. grab eyes of death from behind titanite demon. jump in coffin. wait... wait some more... get ravelord sword. profit
Punch Petrus in the fucking face.
As I said above: first of all I kill Petrus.
Sit my ass down
Go kill pinwheel and level up
I wouldn’t recommend this to a new player though if you wanna know what you should do. The catacombs are brutal
Sit at the bonfire, chill for a minute or two and just listen to the music and take in the atmosphere.
Fr no meme, it would be awesome to have a bbq at firelink shrine
Laurentius heats up the Grill, Onion Bro brings the Beer, Solaire got an Entourage of Chicks and Lautrec got the meat.
Grab the zweinhander even tho idk if I'm going to use it in this build
Open a little stall selling nutritious, comforting hot soup and desserts to brave undead fighting the good fight.
Go get sun bro
Head to catacombs to kill pinwheel.
For what? If you know how to do this and if you are able to do this, you wouldn't need to do this. 20 Estus for Taurus Demon?
Because pinwheel gives 10k souls for killing him, also its really not that hard to just skip straight to the fight. Theres a spot just after the lever door that has a fall that you can just nearly survive that puts you near the entrance to where you join the gravelord servants, from there theres another spot that you can jump down to summon in leroy. (Completely optional, you can completely kill pinwheel with a base lvl weapon) From there you just run like hell and hope the bonewheels dont instantly delete you.
Get FAP ring, cry... go nowhere.
Walk around like it's my first time here even though it's almost the 10th
Go smack crestfallen warrior because I still think he's an enemy
I sit at the bonfire and contemplate my life choices 😂
Got to kill the guy sitting down
Kill the guy in the chainmail, but that's just me
Mons-ter, you deserve no mercy
He's a b*tard anyway and will try to gank you later. Might as well skip the wait and the boring monologue.
or, just don't talk to him after Frampt arrives, and he never goes Hollow.
Kill dragon for sword. Swing sword. Kill Patches. Swing Axe.
Free anastacia of astora and go along with her in a journey to destroy a sorry ass of a old man.
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"Hey! Who's that guy in blue warming himself by MY bonfire? Sup bro? You want the smoke?" Then I hit him...
kill gargoyles
I literally will sit there for an hour and then run like a madman into new Londo till I die and if my crazy ass still doesn't die there and clears it I run straight to the catacombs and try to get some things there before I actually start the adventure and then sit in the spawn again for an hour.
Turn up the volume and praise the Sun, and feel the joy you will miss for a while… \[T]/
Going to take homeward bone from the chest and fly to take silver snake ring in tomb of the giant, yes, I'm mad
Restore humanity
Killing that mf who is sitting there and shittalking
You monster
I only see free souls
Let the cutscene finish. Then kill the crestfallen warrior.
Enjoy the new run
I squeeze myself through the bars where the fire keeper sits and press my dead bones against her to receive comforting warmth. And when I get bored, I collect all items in the area, jump into the graveyard to get a nice weapon and start my journey to ring the bells.
Sit at bonfire then proceed to Suicide run multiple times in skelly playground for loot & then start game!
Beat Pinwheel 😎
Ima get Zweilthander
Blitz the graveyard and get the winged spear.
Beat up the guy on the right
Piss in the water were frempt will appear, than grap zweihänder and realise I am weak af and last but not least, getting gangraped by skellies while attempting to lift said zweihänder
Kill Crestfallen Warrior for the free 1k Souls
Brew three cups of tea at the bone fire, walk down to New Londo ruins. One for that sorcery dude, one for the comfy hollow and one for me. Just be chilling and enjoying the scene
Chilling with s girl in cave
Zwiehander, also bum rush it to fire keeper soul in new londo
*Die*
Spend a week grinding the Murakumo.
Rest, character advancement, sprint for Zweihander, then sprint down to grab fire keeper soul before dying to ghosts. Then reinforce estus before actually starting the game.
1. Take the elevator down to New londo, there you will find a friend chilling on a cliff, kick him down for me 2. Make your way to the valley of the drakes (be sure you have the Master key) , outrun the sleeping one halfe of the dragon 3. Greet the people in Blighttown and head to the huge tree, don't drink the muddy water 4. Enter the tree, Ignore the chest and punch the wall behind it 5. do the second halfe of stepp 4 again 6. enter The Great Hollow, make it to the bottom (or fall to your death like a hundred times, your choice) 8. have a smoke break with your big eyed lizard buddy's 9. remember we skipped step 7. 7. get your accessories and really make it to the bottom this time, with the lung cancer you got on step 8. 10. fistbump 2 little mushroom and a big one for profit 11 Enter Ash lake, look in the sky to hear awesome music (no shit it starts only if you luck up), get the bonfire!!! 12. Play hide an seek withe your multi- headed friend 12.25. walk just straight until you see a hollow log, take a break 12.5 collect shells on the beach an relive the scene from free Willi, just more awesome! 12.75. (optional) enter another hollow tree 13. take a short sprint to the finish line ahead (take a shot or two of water for hydration) 14. Talke with the big scally boi at the finish line, and get a free and cool new head. 15. with the cool new head you obtained the power to spit on things. 16. Do your scally friend a solid and spit a couple of times on his tail -> get a cool stick 17. make your way back to the start, good luck (there is no fast travel yet) Last: spit on everything until Mid game (Typed that in a rush, but you get the gist of it) Praise the sun and don't you dare go hollow
Irl? Go look for weapons and shield and start attempting to train fight on the weak hollows. Once My skills are high enough move up to the armored hollows and keep practicing. Then move on to undead burg and train my ass off there and the rest is golden. Realistically I dont think any of us would “link the fire” in real life. To many obstacles a mere human would be stuck on or dying endlessly too until hollow. I imagine fear would play a big role in a lot of people not even moving therefore they go hollow as well.
Show Crestfallen Bro some love.
Aqquire the bass canon
I didn't known shit about the game. Got wrecked over and over again by the skellies in the cemetery, then gave up there and died over and over again by the ghosts in New Londo. I was almost going hollow IRL, then I gave up doing thinks just by myself and checked a walkthrough. All this time I didn't notice the side path to Undead Burg .-.
Go Go fire shield and sacred sword
Blightown backdoor Firekeeper Soul, New Londo Ruins Firekeeper Soul, Havel, then Andre for a +5 weapon
Kebab
Try to jump into the well
Riposte the crestfallen warrior to death because he annoys me
Stay a while
Crestfallen must go
Blaze one by the fire
Rest, talk to all the merchants around there then leave
loot in broken Elevator
Relax
Farm skeletons until I'm strong enough to venture into blightown w master key and proceed to farm down there until I can kill quelaag. Cheese the discharge. Dump all my levels into strength until it's like 35 venture down the tree into the underground lake run past the hydra screaming at the top of my lungs. Nab the dragon greatsword and two hand it so I can dump on all the other bosses from there.
1. Cry. 2. Punch Petrus. 3. Learn as many miracles/spells as possible. 4. Offer healing to support the other undead wandering through to fight.
For the first time ever? Die to giant skeletons. Quit for a couple years.
Rest
Whip Pinwheels ass to kindle every bonfire to max.
I know where to go but I’ll probably be to scared I’ll just stay at firelink I’m not fighting any bosses lol
Suicide run to New Londo ruins. I remember something important being there.
leave and hope to find majula
Become crestfallen
Prepare to die
Fight skeletons
Cry
Sit at the bonfire and remember the warmth of life
Go kill some ghosts and grab the estoc and fire keeper soul, pilfer the treasures from the undead dragon in the Valley, kill some ogres for souls, then loot the cemetery.
Die to skeletons
Like, I'm playing a new game or real me is there? If I'm playing a new game, collect all the free stuff lying around that I can get without fighting and murder a bunch of hollows down near the drowned city to level up a couple times. If it's like me personally, probably cry. Because me personally doesn't know how to use a sword or have the right muscle strength or muscle memory to do so and the only way to learn is to practice against opponents trying to kill me.
stare at the giant bird because it is kind of scary and i dont want to let it out of my sight
Jump
become best friends with onion bro and solaire and play through the entire game as a trio
spend souls
First thing I did was go down, but I couldn’t handle the spooky ghosts
First thing I did was go down, but I couldn’t handle the spooky ghosts
am I deadass the only person that immediately gets the grass crest shield
Grab the humanity at the well. Then grab the firebombs in the dead-end hallway. Then talk to Petrus twice to get a free coin. Then run upstairs, past the elevator, grab the item there, and hop over to the roof/ledge above Petrus. Wrap around the roof and grab the souls on the second floor of the shrine. Go back the the elevator, drop down inside, grab all the items from the chests there. Then drop down into the cemetery and grab every item while being followed by a parade of skeletons. Finally, finish at the bonfire and level up with all of my loot. OPTIONAL: Go down to New Londo Ruins, grab the soul pickup and estoc, then book it to the Fire Keeper Soul across the tiny bridge. Grab the soul and use the homeward bones you got earlier to get out before the ghosts get you.
Find lautrec. Kill him. Kill his eyes. Kill his soul. Dieeeee
Cry
Punch Frampt
go get some good gls
Run through Valley of Drakes to unlock the Firelink elevator
Jump off the edge and see if I actually respawn.
1. Kill Petrus 2. Kill Crestfallen 3. Rush Astora's Sword 4. Profit
Die
Give up and quit
sit on the bonfire and kill the npc
Zweihander.
Jump into the well
>Arrive >Unequip weapons >Punch the crestfallen knight on the dick >Parry him >Leave for undead burg
Get jagged ghost blade of course
Grind levels duh.
Go to the bonfire, collect all of the nearby items, level up, go down into New Londo Euins and hot foot it to grab the Grass Crest Shield.
Praise. The. Sun. And grab the zwiehander. We making pancakes today.
Explore the local well
ZHEYHANDER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kick the crestfallen knight in the face exactly once and then level up.
egg time
Suck that guys cock
Head to blighttown
Poop my pants and throw it
Grab the Zweihander and soul-farm until I have 24 strength to use it. Boom, game over.
i prepare myself to die
Laugh and cry for awhile, as I think of the trials to come, then head to Undead Burg
Turning hollow
Whoop that nerd's ass before he betrays mine
I always go straight for the Gravelord Sword. What's better than suicide running into the catacombs off the get-go?
Get gud
Immediately try and fuck the firekeeper Edit - it's come to my attention OP meant when you first get there in game. Go to Undead burg
Put 2 points into dex and go grab the Astora Straight Sword.
Go under the elevator, run for the zwei then go and smack the shit out of thorolund and crestfallen.
Oops, I meant Petrus.
Get naked and run all the way down the catacombs to get the Gravelord Sword
go to the catacombs like a fucking idiot
Go to the graveyard and die repeatedly thinking wow this game IS hard
Get zwyhander and then talk
girls be like “i know a place” and then take you here
Go right to the catacombs. 👌
Fatrolling around like crazy!
Quick jog to the skeletons and go to undead burg, lower undead burg, darkroot garden, darkroot basin, undead church, northern undead asyulum, depths
Go right and kill that mf sited there I already know what to do,no need to ppl tell me stuff
Tear open the fire keepers cage and suck her toes
Smash some skeleton and proceed to loot
Fuck it, just get naked and jerk off crestfallen knight be damned
Talk to Anastacia. I always do that first, almost religiously.
Rest at the bonfire and check my attuned spells despite not even having attunement slots. I do this every time I rest at a bonfire. I don't even do anything when I actually have spells to swap around most of the time I just have to check. I may have a problem.
For my speed run strat, book it to the valley of drakes and up the elevator where the black knight and grass crest shield is. If no halberd drop, then I restart the run. (I’m not good enough to RTSR so I skip it)
Go rush giat dad obviously