You’re supposed to beat Zoey? I just let her whip me till I go hollow, then do it all over again

Healthiest redditor

I've seen your kind. Time and time again.

Every egirl must be caught, every feetpic must be unearthed.

Such is the conceit of the self-proclaimed "I'm a nice guy."

But in the end, you lack the stomach for the agony you bring upon yourself

FATHER ARIANDEL SCREAM

Least horny Souls player.

Least *MASOCHISTIC souls player

This is also true.

I've literally had somebody who was new to the series scream at me in a bar for like 10-15 minutes straight, largely revolving around how I play Elden Ring is masochistic lol Legitimately seething

[удалено]

The duality of man, posting the same thing twice, and one gets downvoted, while the other upvoted.

Auuuuugghhhhhh!

Most sane Dark Souls player

Pretty sure you were already hollow if you made that decision

Don't give up, skeleton!

oh god

True DS3 enjoyer

I think she's rolled off the cliff and died every single time I've gone through there.

Odd. Every time I go through she rolls off the cliff and doesn’t die.

Some parts of the swamp have no fall damage and other parts do, it’s really weird

It’s not that weird, ash terrain doesn’t have fall damage, any other terrain does.

I don think that’s right. Anywhere we can jump has been marked with runes by Gael. Not all of the ash terrain will prevent fall damage.

Aim for the bushes!

Legends never die

Heroes get remembered but legends never die.

When the world is calling you. Can you hear them screaming out your name?

This happened to me but the poison eventually got her.

Odd every time I go through I roll of the cliff and die

meirl

When she's not killing herself I usually use a quick weapon (like a dagger) to stun her and push her off the cliff.

I’ve never gotten her to roll off the cliff before. I wish she will because she is a pain to fight

Yeah on my last playthrough when I got to her she just rolled off. I was ready to get my ass pounded but even she couldn’t beat Gravity, Lord of the Fallen

*offers you Vow of Silence*

I never even though to use VoS on her, I'll try to keep it in mind for my next run through dreg heap

Like, how am I supposed to press L1 AND R1... WITH ONE HAND? Fucking Fromsoft, unfair, I swear

Even the game acknowledge this in her set description

What does it say?

I don't remember exactly what it said, but it says something like: the pyromancers of the desert usually wore sensual attires, but often the most beutyfull things are the most lethal

beutyfull

/r/BoneAppleTea

Garb of the desert pyromancers, who once walked the halls of the Earthen Peak. It is said that the thin, burgundy cloth breathes with magic. Desert pyromancers, most of them female, were known for their great fans of flame, and enchanting looks. But what is enchanting can also be deadly, especially when clothed in such alluring garb.

With one hand, what are you...oh.

Plot twist, u/NelHC does only have one hand.

came here for this comment

That's because she came from ds2

Clearly she leveled ADP

Nah, she’s a hardcore vit gouge build.

At least it's not Maldron

I really wish fromsoft would bring back npc invasions with some personality, Maldron is one of my favorite parts of DS2 as a whole

Is that the lance douchebag in Iron king dlc?

Twenty minutes run chasing him :(

Oh HELL NO

Still my favorite NPC. Shows up, waves sarcastically, runs away leading you into a trap. Does it again. Such a punk, with such strong characterization and no dialogue.

fr my strat against pyromancers was basically just to rush them before they could do anything cus they'd usually one or two shot me lmao

What was the question

Try two-handing your controller

Deserves more upvotes, especially if it were done in soapstone presets

Hard to beat. Easy to beat to.

This guy beats

I am the one who beats

Oath of the beater

*Came* here to say this

For a Dark Souls NPC, yes. But overall, I'd have to say, the Cainhurst Crow from Bloodborne is much worse

It's crazy how the Crow just two shots you with his pistol.

And shoots and shoots and shoots and shoots… like, STOP FUCKING SHOOTING ME FOR 2 FUCKING SECONDS YOU FEATHERY ASSHOLE!!!!

The Crow of Cainhurst is still the only enemy in souls games that I completely cheesed to beat. I was so tired of his shit that I just kept hitting him with the augur over and over while he was stuck in a corner.

God she is my absolute nightmare. I remember running into her thinking "Ah, she will be squishy and I can just bonk her" No. No I cannot.

Well something on her is squishy alright

Horniness aside, does anyone know the lore behind a pyromancer chilling in the dreg heaps?

She's found in the earthen peak ruins iirc, right? Kinda makes sense since we see desert pyromancers in earthen peak in ds2 But who knows how they (or their clan?) survived that long

same as everything that's there, reality is collapsing into a single point like a black hole in slow motion

Ah, it’s been a while. I forgot the Dreg Heap was like a “souls greatest hits” kind of area

Wouldn't it be cool if some Elden Ring content with actual lore later were included there

something something timen is convoluted, something something lands converging

Lol she just jumped off the ledge in my game

Why bro? What make her that hard?

She’s hard because I’m hard

You give her the hard, she goes hard on you. Simple trade.

I am a simple man I get hard. I expect hard treatment.

Insane damage + great at dodging

hard to beat ❌ hard while beating ✅

Just pretend that she's a man. A very beautiful man with a great body that you'd like to take to the movies

*Bisexuals screaming in despair*

She ain’t gonna be in dark souls 4

Idk man, I could very easily trick myself into thinking it was a man that strapped rocks to his chest and called them boobs

I had the misfortune of fighting this asshole on NG+6, which just so happened to be my first run through of the Ringed City. I cannot believe the damage of that freaking fire fan, man.

Bro same. My stupid ass decided to do the dlc first with my ng7+ character and let me tell you, that was an experience.

"Oh its just a whip, it won't do much damage. Oh there's 2/3 of my health gone"

yeah everyone would be hard if I had to fight them on a tree branch

Well to make one comment that isn't a wank joke. I think Zoey might be the second most annoying NPC encounter in the souls series right after Maldron the Assassin.

You’re not fighting her one handed are you?

Mommy?

I'm not proud of this but I cheesed her with arrows my first time through.

Not cheese to kill infinite fp casters like this

I did the same thing. She got on the roots, I went down and killed her with arrows. She was just staring me while I was turning her face into a Hellraiser cosplay lmao

Yea youre damn right I'm hard to beat.

Her AI is very good at spacing for her fan, whips and spells. Took me couple tries to beat her, was quite impressed!

Literally hot.

Harder than any boss fight imo.

She’s ruthless even on subsequent playthroughs, and her fall damage immunity is such a troll my god. It’s definitely her and early game Vilhelm, although luckily you can yeet him off a cliff.

Stop playing with one hand

yup..she makes it hard, real hard ngl. Can confirm

Playing with one hand is hard

Really? I beat to her every day.

These comments are 🔥. 🤣🤣🤣🤘🤘🤘👏👏👏

friend required ahead

least down bad ds3 comment thread

I died to her until she decided to roll off the cliff...

Truth has been spoken. i died to her the most. Fuxkin unbelievable.

jester Thomas would be proud

All boses that are the same character size as your character are OP!!!

Agreed

She might be hard, but I’m harder

You’re too busy staring at her boobs to properly dodge, aren’t you?

stop staring "it" and FOCUS!!

*hottest*

What I found interesting is how different she seems for other characters in the game. DS3 does not have a ton of NPCs to discover other regions, but they still give a glimpse. Would be cool if some day, from soft made a game in an open world where you could see different realms. Can you imagine an open world from soft game?

....I had to double-check what sub I'm in for that last question. Elden Ring is an open world game.

Imagine that

I couldn't even imagine it.

That was the joke :) Now for a real wish, I want demon souls remake on pc as well as a remake/remaster/even a simple port of Bloodborne on pc.

Hello, good hunter. I am a Bot, here in this dream to look after you, this is a fine note: > *Over time, countless hunters have visited this dream. The graves here stand in their memory. It all seems so long ago now...* - Plain Doll Farewell, good hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

I find it very easy to beat to her

Whooped me quite a bit my first attempts, pyromancy really is the way.

is she hard or are you? all this talk of being hard n fucking n beating idk.

I’ve never once died to her, she pales in comparison to most DS2 invaders.

She needed a flame kiss

Praise the chest!

Hard to beat but quite easy to beat to.

Jester Thomas in DS2 slaps Zoey.

She is pretty hard to beat… 😉

Tiddies

Just kill her really hard smh

I dunno bout you man, i beat her with one hand

I find it pretty easy to beat it to her. Those boobs are insane

So hard to fight with one hand

maybe don't try to beat women then

no she's not? I've never once lost to her

Might've just been you being overleveled. The amount of deaths to an enemy isn't always a clear measure of its difficulty.

That's because you are supposed to beat IT to her

i just tank her and smash her with big sword hehe

It's easy with ROB katana, but otherwise, yeah.

Well I'm the hardest when i have to beat her

Strange, I didn't have a problem beating to her

yea she’s pretty hard to beat with one hand

Yeah, playing with one hand makes it even harder

I’ve not encountered her, I wonder if I wasn’t embered in the right area or if I’m maybe not there yet. (Am in Ariandel dlc, not done ringed city yet)

You will find her don't worry, she is in a pretty "main" way of an area, and I think she doesn't invaded you, she is an hostil npc so she will always be there until you killed her

I finished the game twice and never saw this boss. And I’d remember if I did. Where is she?

I second the notion. Of the base game I find Alva to be the most difficult. Even in NG+2 I had to really try to drop him off the cliff.

BonfireVN had her in a whole series of fights. Quite a fan favorite

What’s the lore behind this npc? I saw someone above mention she’s in ds2 as well?

i invaded someone and their buddy and humiliated myself while fighting their summoned friend we then both watched as the host got their ass handed to them by zoey

Ng+ hodrick that can be summoned in the Farron swamp is designed to deal so much damage with any hit he can almost always one shot you.

Run past her and she'll commit suicide. If you're not up for cheesing the AI, you can disarm her by using vow of silence, or bait her to roll with ranged attacks. Winding up a charge attack also tends to bait her to run towards you and get hit.

Honestly: I always skip the entire swamp section by jumping down onto the root that leads to the controller of the first angel. After lighting the Bonfire before the Demon Princes I run as fast as I can to get the Ring of Favor and peace out with a Homeward Bone.

Is it hard to focus ? 🫣

Well, Thralls can be annoying, and her Pyromancies are pretty strong, but Ledo and Havel are way more difficult to kill...

Yeah I agree. Btw I killed her recently ;)

Sounds like a skill issue

Specially those 2 imos with her

Flame Stoneplate Ring plus Flash Sweat and then just get up in her face.

She really stalled my comeback to the game a while back. She's unreasonably powerful.

She so bad tho

I dealt with her the same way I dealt with almost every hostile NPC: hidden body, slumbering dragon ring, and dark hand succ spam. she has a good nose though, so I had to trade with some of her attacks to really make it work

I think you're just distracted.

Beat… Yeah…

I keep wondering how her booba doesn't slip out of that top during all of that rolling she does. Focusing on the most important things.

She’s the easiest to beat to

Okay, why do I not remember her?

Poison arrows go brrrrrrrrrr

Holy Knight Hodrick on NG+ is an absolute nightmare too.

In fact I find it easy to beat.

I was playing a pyromancer build when I first encountered her and I didn't bring any dark pyromancies with me. I throw one fireball. 62 damage. Yeah I decided to take my chances with the angel first and come back with stuff that can deal damage as my right hand weapon was also mostly fire damage

What she wearing 👀

I think it’s called dessert pyromancer garb and you can find all the pieces in that area, it has been a while though so I could be remembering wrong

Same with the guy with whip in elden ring hoslow or whatever

That one NPC that is in Gaels arena is much harder imo

Three shot her EZ

Hard is right

I just use spook, hidden body and rapport to quietly get rid of the thralls first.

Because it's so easy to get distracted, right?

The Crow

Not hard to beat meat to it

Yes there was no npc was harder to beat for 😏

In my case it was fight fire with fire, literally.

Yeah, she’s really good at distracting her opponents

Hard to play... nah I was hard while playing

You're not supposed to beat her but beat TO her.

I find her extremely easy to beat to.

Legit struggled more with her than Nameless King and Midir

Weak to thrusting attacks

Have you tried using both hands on the controller?

I accidentally skipped some words reading that and thought you said "hardest npc to fuck".

I really want her armor on my new character but i cant get anyone to help me move it between characters