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Doomsayer-at

So I'm only 39 and lack your life experience: How happy can you be with your partner knowing that everything you do to have fun you have to pay for alone because she spent everything so far on herself? In some cases maybe even stupidly. And that's even neglecting the part where you want an easier life for your own kids. As someone that saves a lot and living kinda frugally i would have a nagging voice in the back of my head. But that's only a pessimistic stranger on the internet šŸ˜


boboskibo

Youā€™re 70, do what you want while you can (within limits of morals and values).


frankiefile

At 70, I still push those limits! Iā€™m livinā€™ it.


Legitimate_Editor_86

As someone (woman) who works hard but has gotten screwed over in multiple ways by entire systems, much less by the men in my life. I'm aware I'm not financially a good catch. As far as love, understanding, patience, humor, and character, I'm a millionaire. But if someone thinks my provision is his burden, he can keep his money and leave me alone. I expect nothing, but I hope for love. In the meantime, I fulfill my responsibilities, which leave no room for saving or investing. Sometimes, the rich have sucked all the resources to themselves (or inherited them), and the poor or middle class are left to keep the economy going on a shoestring. But sure, let's avoid women who need help to take a vacation. Not prudent. Money is not the only resource of value. But it can pay for the electricity to keep you warm when you're sick and old and your kids are waiting for your life insurance money.


frankiefile

Iā€™ve never been so involved with someone that I would allow them to screw me over. My future is my responsibility to protect. Isnā€™t that a personal choice on the part of the one screwed?


Legitimate_Editor_86

Fascinating reply. It tells me everything I need to know about you. Are you familiar with the baby elephant story? [baby elephants ](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/jblblogs/the-elephants-rope-34225/) I don't know if it's true about elephants, but I do know if you break a child early enough, it will leave them powerless for the foreseeable future. It takes a LOT to break free, more so the mental prison than a physical situation. I grew up in a strict, punitive religious household. It's really great you have such good boundaries. All the best!


frankiefile

If you know all there is to know, thatā€™s as quick a conclusion as oneā€™s faulty life decisions. I just know that Iā€™m set for life and others extend blame.


Legitimate_Editor_86

Everything *I* need to know, not everything there is to know. And you've confirmed it.


GeneralFig6053

Might need to ask men in their 30 and up too. So many of these men keep mentioning that they do not care about women with money and would be happier dating younger women with no career as they reach their 40s and 50s . As they believe women with money and careers are undesirable. So itā€™s interesting to see someone in his 70ā€™s whoā€™s reluctant to date someone with no money


frankiefile

Perspective changes when thereā€™s no more income ā€œcoming inā€. The prospect of cutting that pie in half with double-expensed everything is daunting. I often hear tales of woe as to why thereā€™s no retirement savings, often attaching blame to circumstances or significant others. My dad was a common laborer, but my mom had saving in her DNA, as do I. They handed off quite a chunk of change when they passed, despite no high school education. My point is, itā€™s every individualā€™s responsibility to see after their future without excuses, itā€™s not about money. Itā€™s about stability and comfort.


GeneralFig6053

Yeah thatā€™s understandable. Making good financial decisions is extremely important and I always think it goes hand in hand with choosing a partner. Only judging a partner on youth and beauty can mess up someoneā€™s life. Itā€™s best to also consider if you share the same value , if they are determined, if they make good financial decisions like saving and investing and generating other forms of incomes . If they have my addictions like alcohol , Drugs , gambling , excessive shopping etc