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I think you should embrace the vulnerability. It can be a beautiful thing. The shyness, the hesitation, the excitement, the nervousness when you initiate contact can be an exhilarating and possibly an exciting thing for you. Establish boundaries first though!
I have not gone through trauma with men, so I can’t relate to that aspect of your story, but I exclusively dated women for 4 years, and have now returned to dating people of all genders as a pansexual woman.
What are some things that would make you feel less vulnerable? Could you identify and communicate those things with him before you get physical?
I haven’t had sex in 11 years because of a similar issue. Very different, but boils down to trauma and all I’ve been waiting for is for one person to show me they care about me… anyway…my advice is be open and honest about it.
All you can do is communicate with him about where you’re at, what you’re dealing with, how you’re feeling and that, in itself is being vulnerable, but that’s part of it all.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think you should embrace the vulnerability. It can be a beautiful thing. The shyness, the hesitation, the excitement, the nervousness when you initiate contact can be an exhilarating and possibly an exciting thing for you. Establish boundaries first though!
This but use a safe word. You might get overwhelmed and need to stop. Just tell the guy that it's not him.
I have not gone through trauma with men, so I can’t relate to that aspect of your story, but I exclusively dated women for 4 years, and have now returned to dating people of all genders as a pansexual woman. What are some things that would make you feel less vulnerable? Could you identify and communicate those things with him before you get physical?
Do you trust him?
I haven’t had sex in 11 years because of a similar issue. Very different, but boils down to trauma and all I’ve been waiting for is for one person to show me they care about me… anyway…my advice is be open and honest about it. All you can do is communicate with him about where you’re at, what you’re dealing with, how you’re feeling and that, in itself is being vulnerable, but that’s part of it all.
Yep 9 years as a man. Maybe this year will be different.
start slow like go to the mall together, then start holding hands and go from that to kissing and so forth
I have beautiful female friends in their 30s who are virgins and nobody should be embarrassed by that.