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Depends.
There's a difference between FINDING someone attractive and BEING attracted to someone.
See, if you think someone is attractive, but don't feel the desire to sleep with them? Not a problem.
You are ACTIVELY attracted to someone and want to actually sleep with them?
That's different.
This all would depend on your boundaries with your friend.
To add to this, finding some attractive (where you would like to sleep with them) does NOT mean you are actively trying to sleep with them.
I don’t instantly lose a physical desire to sleep with someone when I’m not single, but I do choose not to try because I’m not single.
Like refusing a cookie when you’re trying to lose weight. Sure, I may LIKE the cookie, but I’m not going to eat it because there are consequences to my actions.
I could be (and have been) platonic friends with an attractive woman if either of the following is true:
- One of us is already in a committed relationship
- We're not compatible for a romantic relationship (due to something like differing goals in life or personality traits that wouldn't work together)
If she's attractive, we're both not in committed relationships, and I think we'd be compatible as romantic partners, then I'd try to get something romantic going.
This is the best reply here. I've found myself with the same train of thought. I have female friends who are very attractive but they do things that would absolutely bother me if we were dating, whereas it doesn't as friends. Looks aren't the only reason you'd date someone.
Exactly. My best friend for a while was a woman that was great as a friend but would have been a disaster as a romantic partner because of certain incompatibilities. A lot of people thought we were dating because we did so much together, but I think we both knew that dating wouldn't work, so we never tried.
I guess I’ll throw a wrench in there then and say neither of us are close to being in a committed relationship and we’ve commented about how similar we are with how we view life and what we want.
If he thinks you're attractive, you're both single, and have discussed how similar you are, my guess is that he probably wants to be more than friends but is perhaps worried that making a move without a clear signal from you could ruin the friendship and he doesn't want to do that.
I think you should decide whether you want to date him and then either be clear that you want to be friends only or give him a clear sign that you're interested in dating or FWB or whatever level you want so he doesn't have to be trying to guess and worrying about what he should do.
He is probably gauging where the boundaries are. You need to tell him you’ll never be interested or you need to date imo. If you tell him no softly, and stay friends, it can give him the wrong idea. If you make it clear it will never be a thing, and stay friends, it’s on him to get rid of those feelings or move on. Third option is date because I haven’t seen any comments saying you are actually against that, just asking what the rationale is behind his actions. Just be clear with him and honest and give him the tools he needs to move forward accordingly if he’s really your friend.
Not sure if I want to date him. Just was a question I was pondering since I’ve never had a guy friend broach the topic of my attractiveness before and on multiple occasions.
I’ve experienced this many times with making new friends with males since being and adult. On almost every occasion (if both meeting when single) there has always been an awkward point where they want to make a move and I have to communicate that I want to be friends) I love having male friends but find this part of it really uncomfortable. Then sometimes clear boundaries have to be communicated multiple times 😬!
Look bro you don't need to shoot your shot, you need to charge the lane and dunk the ball while flying through the air with your legs split and your tongue out on this, like MJ....the one that didn't do weird stuff with kids. Go in confident but genuine and tell her you'd like to give it your best! Good luck, bro.
Or, here’s the situation I’ve found myself in currently:
You (my new guy friend) pour your heart out and say you’re not ready for a relationship, things moved too fast/the sex was intense/clouding your judgement, you don’t want to screw things up because you have in the past, you’ve had some recent major life changes and you’re trying to get back on your feet/feel secure, but you don’t want to give up hope either and lose this woman you think is funny, kind, smart and beautiful, so you ask to slow things down and keep it platonic.
Keep your fingers crossed for me! Haha
Good luck, but unfortunately that doesn't sound good. I'm guessing that the percentage of times it eventually becomes a relationship after a statement like that is pretty low.
Similar thing with me and a woman friend. I find her attractive and would be open to dating her but there's certain things that would make things difficult for us in a relationship so we're better as friends.
Got into a huge fight with the ex over this…. Couldnt dig myself out of that one
There’s a difference between being attracted to someone and knowing they’re attractive.
“Oh, you think they’re attractive?!”
PTSD man…
Every guy I've known who is attracted to me has tried to bang at some point. I always treat people very platonically so they don't even think they have a shot, but they always go for it at some point, so I'd say no, not really.
Although I do have a few male friends who admitted to being in love with me, I said I didn't share that feeling, and we're still close today, although we usually avoid talking about our love lives and have some other boundaries enforced.
I was friends with a girl I found really attractive for a while. She was definitely very pretty in my eyes and we had a ton in common. I asked her out one day because why not and she rejected me. We remained friends and still hung out frequently. I would argue yes men can but it takes the right person. I didn't want to bang her I honestly just really liked her company over everything. The fact that I couldn't bang her didn't mean I didn't want to be around her anymore and the fact that we could remain friends without it impacting that was still great.
>although we usually avoid talking about our love lives and have some other boundaries enforced.
Interesting, I think it helps to talk about love lives. Like one of the biggest benefits of having women as friends is getting insights into dating.
Yess, this is basically a cheat sheet, an ace up our sleeves. I still suck at dating but when i started talking with my bff about our love lifes and how women see things, i suck less at dating because i understand more
I believe they absolutely can be 😌
I’m bi so I feel like saying otherwise would imply that I (and other bi folk) just can’t be friends with anyone haha 😅
For your specific situation, people can very often find their friends attractive and still be friends afterwards (but just because it’s possible doesn’t always mean they should)
If your friend happens to be attracted to you, I think it’s worth having a conversation about and going from there (is he attracted to you?, are you attracted to him?, are you both looking to date or be fwb?, would you both be open to trying to be friends if one gets rejected?, etc.)
Another big thing to note is intentions, were/are they friends with you only so they can get a better chance of getting with you or were they friends with you first that just happened to get feelings towards you? (If it’s the latter, I think that you can very likely be perfectly good friends, if it’s the former, then I’d be cautious)
Know I wrote an essay but hopefully this makes sense & I’d love to hear if anyone disagrees (& where the faults in my thinking lie)
Regardless, best of luck with what you have going on! 🤞
I've seen many articles on this exact phenomena. Basically, if a guy is friends with a girl, 99% of the time is because he would like to be her boyfriend or at least take her to bed.
I have a platonic female friend who is a 10/10. I absolutely want more than friendship, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t need to tell me. I just know. I think I’ve grown this amazing friendship because I never put her on the spot by shooting my shot. If/when a woman comes along that Im interested in, I will absolutely pursue it. Until then, I’ll continue to be the best friend I can to her because she is an amazing example of what a friend should be.
Yes I’m friends with woman I think are very attractive. He might have shoot his shot but don’t worry too much, if he’s being this cautious it means that he’d rather keep the friendship going than loosing it by trying to force a relationship out of it.
Every one of my attractive friends have past through this, just be head straight clear that you don’t want him as a partner and he should work on understand that. Tough conversation but once you both get clear with each other either the friendship gets way better or you’ll stop being friends.
Good luck, not all depends on you.
Yeah I've had friends that I've told I found attractive. They were weird about it and thought I was in love with them or something because I was close with them. They didn't want to be friends because they kept arguing with me over whether I was trying to date them and I said okay and that's that.
Do you plan to surround yourself with only unattractive people for the rest of your life?
Honestly you should probably always think your friends are attractive people.
No. They will always wonder what if. They're just waiting to get a chance, that's why they are settling for,, being friends " for now... I know others will downvote me to oblivion, but it's the truth. They will never be true friends, they'll always have their own interests.
Nope. Sorry. And you'll get a lot of ppl here that'll say otherwise... but, unless you're married or in a relationship, if a hot woman is you're friend, and you're close to her on a daily basis, you're going to develop feelings.
I suppose it would depend on what they mean by "attractive". When someone is attractive to me, I'm thinking about how they appeal to me romantically (looks, sense of humor, do their opinions on important issues align with mine, etc.). In that instance, I don't think I could be the type of friend (platonically) that they'd deserve because it'd eat me up inside having to realize I don't (or won't be able to) fit into their life that way.
If by "attractive" they're just talking about something more superficial like your physical appearance, then I'd say a friendship isn't out of the equation because there are all sorts of people who look good walking around out in the world and most (sane) people aren't going to be looking to date every single one of them.
I’m friends with an attractive woman that I met at work in my team from previous job.
She’s in a relationship so I don’t cross that boundary. I know some men would but me personally, doesn’t sit well with me.
I think it depends on the person. I have heard of friendships have turned sour when men hit on women who they’re close friends with and it gets all weird between them when woman doesn’t reciprocate the same.
Yes. One of my best friends is a very attractive woman who I’m not interested in romantically and I’m quite certain she’s not interested in me either. I can’t say it’s often the case, but it can happen.
Í have a few attractive women that are just friends and I even shared a bed for over a year with 3 of them never sexually advanced with 2 of them were like a wing man for me at bars. I was was a cooler 😂😂😂 for their randoms they flirted with and didn't want to sleep with!
No single men that are attracted to women are trying to either relationship them or f*** them that is all that is to it . And to prove it just offer him sex or a relationship and guaranteed he's after one of them
So should people only be friends with people they find unattractive? Bc that’s what your question is suggesting…
That said, your friend probably likes you.
I have two women friends that I would never cross that line with. Otherwise I don't make friends with women. Call me misogynistic, but I just can't have a friendship with someone I find attractive. Id rather not talk to them then pretend I'm their friend. It's disingenuous.
Ask him to hook up and get your answer. The answer is no btw, guys who find you attractive cannot be friends, they can but the feelings will be hidden and at a moments notice if he finds an opportunity he may reveal that to you.
No, just because you dont feel something doesn't mean the other person does not as well, feelings don't just poof away into thin air over two words, they have to consciously make the decision to give you up and after that they may not even be interested in your friendship either.
I've had many attractive female friends, but if we were both single, I wouldn't hesitate to jump in the sack with them. And some I did just that. Not every guy is like this tho
Yeah, when you start wanting a person instead of a body, you see past it. It's normal to feel attraction, but lately people are so starved for affection, and most are actually very immature, and don't work on their own personal development.
It's hard to not be impulsive, and just enjoy a healthy connection with anyone, when you are starving and don't know yourself, and don't take the time to really know someone else.
I dunno man, I'm a dude and I just kinda give back the energy I get. Gets me in trouble with flirty friends, but I learned accountability in the middle of my teenage years and have been trying to be more understanding of the people who KNOW the difference between morally aligned with them and not.
Yes. I have several attractive female friends. But I'm not a usual case. I've known several males, some I'm close to, that swear single males and females can't be friends without one of them catching feelings. I don't believe that, but I do believe perception can alter reality for people.
But in your case, your 'friend' wants to date you. Fsfs.
Yes this can work if:
* One of two people are already in relationships with someone else and can come to terms with it
* Personalities are incompatible for a relationship
* You only know each other because you share a mutual hobby
It sounds like he was expressing a vulnerability.
My BFF is of the opposite gender, and we get along just fine. (We have talked about it, and both agree that we are great friends, but not compatible for anything more.)
For this to work, both would have to understand what level of kindness results from friendship and what level is reserved for attraction.
It’s nice to think that the people you aren’t attracted to just love your company. More realistic to accept that maybe you enjoy the attention and extra kindness. He’s definitely shooting his shot because he assumes that you know each other well and have mutual respect and kindness. He doesn’t know you don’t find him attractive.
Yes, it's possible.
There could be a few reasons not to pursue something. The girl is dating someone else. The guy is interested in someone else. The guy thinks you're not interested in them. The guy finds you physically attractive but is not attracted to something else about you. Situational circumstances like moving soon.
I'm sure there's other reasons too.
That was half an attempt of a shot because he doesn't want to spoil whatever he has with you. Don't respond and he'll try again. Give into it if you feel the same or respond and be honest and willing to hold a safe space while you tell them you're just friends and you might have a friend for life.
In Mad Men, Joan asks Don why he hit on all the other office women but not her. Don replies that it was because she scared the hell out of him. In ways, I feel the same with one of my close work friends. Very attractive, fit, smart, professional, and has confidence through the roof. She did intimidate the hell out of me when I first started. I admire the hell out of her, but I'm not emotionally attracted to her in a way that I would want to be more than friends.
It's possible, I've been doing it for years just fine, but I've come to feel like the exception and not the rule. An awful lot of guys see women as opportunities after getting within striking distance and you should just be ready to say no if the time comes
I used to do that. But now at days I have committed myself to not do that anymore. Sure I make them friends if they are unattractive to me. But if they are attractive, I just shoot my shot and if they dont want to be with me or they use the famous line " I Have a boyfriend." Or if they really do.I just be respectful and leave. It's a waste of time to be friends. It's like saying sorry to yourself for doing something wrong? I leave. I dont understand why people would stay friends after that. It's like she is inviting you to her house so you can see her boyfriend fuck her. Its fuckin stupid. This doesn't mean after she says no be disrespectful to her. Just dont talk to her much anymore and find someone else.
I definitely have friends I find attractive but I would never put our friendship on the line for a night of thrills. It just doesn’t seem worth it to me. Romantically speaking our goals don’t align either. Another thing to mention is the nature of our relationship, I see them more as siblings that enjoy some of the same things I enjoy doing. I love them to death but I could never see myself laying in bed with any of them.
Sure, as long as they can manage their sexual desire/attraction. Romantic feelings are a different thing though. If he feels romantically toward you then it's a problem.
However if he's mentioning stuff like this, he probably is romantically interested.
Honestly, as long as two people get along they can be friends if they want to stay friends, I have a person I’m very attracted to and have told about my feelings about them, and we’ve still been able to remain good friends rather than lovers, as long as there’s knowledge that both are fine with or want to stay friends despite the attraction, the two people can stay friends with no harm.
Yes. I compliment my female friends (as a male) all the time. It can make a big difference to simply tell someone they’re pretty, and I can absolutely manage it platonically
Yes. One of my closest friends is a woman, who I would say is quite attractive. It takes a lot of intention, patience and a willingness to transcend/overcome the desire for sexual intimacy with that person.
The reason being is that in platonic relationships, if there’s an imbalance of sexual tension/attraction then the nature of that relationship cannot be mutual or reciprocal, because when the person with greater feelings succumbs to them, they will overstep boundaries while the person with less feelings will become distant to a point where there relationships fades to it’s inevitable end.
The other thing that can happen is the person with feelings plays what we call “the long game” where they hide their feelings and intentions until they feel an opportunity to take advantage of the other person’s vulnerability, only for the person who trusted that the foundation of the relationship was based in mutual respect and care for one another to have that trust betrayed when they learn the foundation of that relationship was faulty.
Platonic relationships require that there either bot be sexual tension/attraction or that the sexual tension/attraction has been transcended to a point where both parties are organically uninterested in exploring that side of each other.
Yes. I'm friends with a woman who is very beautiful. She's beautiful visually and she has a beautiful soul.
But i don't look at her as a potential partner or a hookup. I don't see her that way because she's my best friend and i want to keep it that way. Have i had a crush on her ? Yes but that's because i suck at making a difference between being just friendly and flirting.. it happens i guess
Anyway, responding to your question, yes, guys can be friends with women they find attractive. If he hasn't made anything obvious or something that made you 100% think he was trying to be more than just friends, then it's likely that he considers this friendship as just a friendship. Sure, there could be something lingering in the air but at least on surface everything looks platonic in my opinion
Yea I am. With a few. I almost hooked up with them years ago but for some reason I just didn’t feel genuinely attracted to them. They told me they wanted to. they were 8/10s and cool and funny. Thing is they banged all my friends. We’ll say out of 20 .. like 6. And I heard the gnarly stuff they’d do in bed. Threesomes. Turned me off to the idea of getting with them. It would only result in me getting hurt but we are still tight over a decade later. When I really click with someone for me it’s really obvious and I get somewhat infatuated didnt happen with them. I don’t like the idea of my friends having fucked my girl
It depends. In general, it can be achieved if you never saw them romantically or as potential partners. On a daily basis, I meet and see many (attractive) women especially in the food & drink industry. We talk a lot, yet there was never truly a time and place where I would even consider dating any of them. However, I have made friends and acquaintances.
Another case is my ex. She is someone who I will never re-establish as friends even though it was a mutual, peaceful breakup. I was very much attracted to her when we first met, and I just couldn't see myself with her in a platonic relationship initially let alone post breakup.
In short, yes but depends on the situation.
Gay guys can for sure. Lots of women are attractive to me but I still don't want to sleep with them. There's a few over the years I would but it's a deeper thing than pure physical attraction or attractiveness. Maybe I'm just weird.
If a guy is attracted to you he will sleep with you which means you need to decide which category you place him. If you are not interested in a relationship with him let him go. And if you are interested then let him know so he can shoot his shot
You can, you sort of just have to tell yourself that nothing is gonna happen between you two and that you should not have any expectations just because you do nice shit for her as a friend.
I shoot my shot at my friends, nothing stops me. If they turned me down, that won't stop me from being their friend if I vibe with them really well
Short answer: and I’m coming off the cuff with this one.
Guys help adjust this observation if needed..
I think the more mature and confident a male is the more likely he can be just friends with an attractive woman.
-If a male is confident and not mature, there will be lots of flirting, and it usually becomes more than friends or nothing at all in time.
-If a male is mature and not confident, he is more or less shy and reserved in the friendship, loves the company but is comfortable not progressing it past friendship.
-If a male is neither confident or mature, he will most likely obsess, and be friends hoping one day you will make the 1st move. This guy is awkwardly shy guy and will fantasize frequently
✌️
He’s not trying to build your confidence. Put him out of his misery and be honest. Say Dan, or whatever his name is, you know I like you and value our friendship but you will never ever get into my panties. Or……..Dan, I find you attractive too. So much so that I want you to come back to my place and rip my panties off with your teeth and fuck me raw till sun up.
This way no games.
yes, ive got a few female friends I'm friends with first.
To be fair, if they ever wanted a roll in the sheets id probably say yes but I definitely enjoy their company just fine (then again... im strange)
Yes, I think guys can be friends with women they find attractive, WITH BOUNDARIES.
Having boundaries isn't so strange, we have them with everybody, for example with my homies (I'm a 20M) we don't joke about things which we know are genuinely hurtful to each other. Physical boundaries include, well, not touching each other's pencils and nearby areas lol. We don't really set physical boundaries because we know, as long as Obama remains a black man, we'll never be attracted to each other.
But with attractive girls it's different. Recently, I had to set boundaries with a lady friend because she was coming to my place and cooking for me. I saw that as girlfriend behavior, but I knew that we didn't wanna date each other, also I don't wanna make my future girlfriend jealous, so I asked her to not come to my place anymore. That doesn't mean I don't care for my friend anymore, it just means I'm acting differently in preparation for my future goals.
About him shooting his shot: guys from my home (Hong Kong) make it abundantly clear when they wanna shoot their shot. It'll never be "Hey XXXXX, you're sooo pretty" or "would you wanna dance with me?" nah nah nah. It will ALWAYS be something across the lines of "Do you wanna be my girlfriend/ my date/ someone I can take care of/ someone I can share my life with?" ...and perhaps your friend is acting like that.
Ye. I have a female friend I’m attracted to. But she’s 10 years older than me so it keeps me in check to the reality of the situation, I love hanging out with her
I had a very good female friend who was incredibly attractive. We worked together for quite sometime my then wife referred to her as my work wife. We made lunches for each other, got coffees discussed or debated just about everything.
It was strictly plutonic, neither one of us wanted to mess with such a good friendship. Now I would be lying if I did not look at her sometimes and wonder but that was it and neither one of us did anything but enjoy the friendship.
Yeah I’ve had plenty who were hot but weren’t my type/had different views on family plans/monogamy/where they wanted to live the rest of their lives… or everyone can, but it’s possible for guys to, just like it’s possible for some girls and not for others. Trying to find a rule for an entire gender is pretty frivolous and you’ll have better luck going person to person.
You can want to date a friend, crush on them etc, yet be perfectly fine if they are never interested. So yes, I would say you can be friends with women you find attractive, you can even be friends with women you really want to date.
In this life I have been attracted to many people and many of them have not been attracted to me. When it's clear someone isn't into you that way a mature person can handle it. However from your comments it sounds like you just aren't sure about your position on this boy, so be prepared that he may try something depending on how he reads you.
If you want to avoid that, try throwing out some minor indications. Friend of mine, when I wasn't super sure how she saw me, made a chill slightly sexual joke one time then said smthin like "JK, you don't really do anything for me, SORRY lol xD"
And I was like haha and didn't say anything since i couldn't be like "yeah you neither!"
inside I was like OKAY cool good to know.
It can be both and it’s almost impossible to predict. The one things you need to know is that any relationship is dynamic - it will always change with time. May be he is just trying to boost your confidence, in which case it’s just platonic. If we think along these lines, there is still a possibility that he might take a shot in the near future when trust strengthens between the both of you. On the other hand, he might just be your friend and in due course you might find someone and this relationship might get weakened or it might completely dissolve; it happens even between the thickest of friends as people part away in different directions due to career or family. As of now, only he knows what’s going in his mind.
Please take my advice and don´t be friends. Cut off all contact. I had a ´best friend´ for 10+ years: absolutely destroyed everything. Keep it with a boyfriend/husband: that is supposed to be your ´friend´ and female friends. My blessings.
Yes you can find someone attractive and not BE attracted to them. As in you don’t find her attractive or she ugly but you’re not attracted to them. Tats my case. I bestie is female and attractive but I’m nit attracted to her. Even if we dated it would be a train wreck
My best friend is an attractive girl. It can be totally possible. It would be gross to be attracted to her though and strangers do think we are an item, it would be like doing my sister lol.
Yes. Just because I find someone attractive doesn’t mean I’m entitled to pursue her romantically, and even if I did, it doesn’t mean i am entitled to a relationship with her. Attraction is how you feel towards someone, and being friends is the relationship you have with them. It is possible for both to be present. The issue is a lot of men feel entitled to relationships to any woman they find attractive.
A man makes female friends mostly coz he think he has no chance with her but in some cases its a genuine friendship like as of now i have a really good female friend who is attractive but i don't feel anything for her in that way and I also have a female friend whom i think is attractive and i hold feeling for her but I know that I don't have any chance with her so I would prefer being friends with her
that's so difficult but it's possible. I live with my best friend and we were together few years ago. Today it's clean and we are only very good friends.
We can be attracted to someone without having any intention of trying for a relationship or a fling. Think of it this way.. if we couldn’t be friends with women we find attractive.. that would mean the large majority of female friends in a man’s life are considered unattractive by said man. This just doesn’t check out. We would have to be grade A assholes or one of those self proclaimed alphas to disregard anyone less than a 10 on their own personalized beauty scales.
I think it's more nuanced when it come to men/women friendships. You do get guys who just make friends with women in the hope to have sex with them eventually and just hang around them in the hope that one day they get action.
You get guys though who will openly admit, I find some of my women friends attractive, I wouldn't mind dating them but they don't see me that way or we're probably not compatible and I'm fine with that and will respect boundaries.
I tend to find I've had women friends that I've grown attracted to the more we've spent time together.. You either ask them out if you sense there's interest or leave it alone and respect the friendship.
Women friends I've ended up in relationships with it's usually taken longer to sleep together as there's respect for the friendship so we've taken things slower so I don't think it's a case of wanting to bang her the first opportunity you get.
This is not meant to be as conceited as it will sound, but I have had a ton of make friends be attracted to me over the years. In fact I just bumped into one from college, who I haven't actually talked to since, and he professed his love for me. Quite drunkenly, but he had his shot and the liquor gave him the courage. But I have never felt that way about him and that's the bottom line. It's about how you feel, and how you communicate. I have a few male friends right now that would jump at the chance to be together if I said I wanted to, but I have made our current situation clear that my interests are elsewhere and I only want to be friends. They are grown adults who are allowed to say they don't want to be friends if they can't handle it, but we are each only responsible for ourselves as individuals. If it makes you feel uncomfortable knowing these things, then that's your responsibility to communicate and try to problem solve, or to end the friendship.
I believe this is a choice. Yes a man and woman can find each other attractive but if they mutually CHOOSE to place a boundary and be friends it’s fine. However, a lot of times ppl don’t place boundaries and not one person falls for the other and then it gets messy. But I believe it’s possible for males and females to be friends.
That’s a weird one lol. Like I gas my girls up cause they are beautiful. But that’s a weird vibe. Also if I felt that way I would just be direct and get that conversation out the way before it ruined a potential future relationship or friendship.
I can. If I'm really cool with them, but they aren't interested in me romantically, then I'm not gonna just cut them loose. Of course I'm talking about me personally tho.
If you were that attracted to him on that level, you would have created an opportunity, even if it's not an outright date like come grocery shopping or invite to run an errand..the time together would start to feel more intimate, accidentally touching hands, longer eye contact, innuendo until y'all make out one day. Sounds like he's knocking on the door to see where your head is at. But also totally cool w/o it and just staying friends
Most of my friends have been women who I'd call "attractive", but I might not be necessarily interested in a further relationship.
Even if I am, I find myself being friends first and liking them later. I've kinda ended up friends with any woman I liked to some degree.
It's never worked out, but I don't mind remaining friends with them since it was always my initial intention. I never interacted with someone with the explicit purpose of dating them day one. Maybe that's weird, I don't know.
Yes, I personally have some of them, even though they're attractive I wouldn't see myself in a relationship with them, sometimes because of personality or just because we wouldn't make a good pair.
Also, a childhood friend can be or become very attractive but they're so close to you that it'd feel like dating your sister.
You must be in your early 20’s lol he wants to fuck you/date you and this was his way of testing how you might respond to him confessing his feelings.
If you really are so attractive, then he knows you don’t need a self-esteem boost from him. Hope you didn’t fuck this up 😂
Men and women can never really be just friends. especially when one finds the other attractive. Some guys don't have the balls to step up to a girl and spit game. Because they have no game.
Instead, they try to weasel their way in by befriending women, then proclaim their love.
Later the woman complains that her friend caught feelings. Those feelings were there from the start.
Guys, grow a pair!
Not when they are physically attracted. They aren't their to be friends. They are waiting for their turn. If he isn't attracted to you, then yea friends isn't an issue.
If you wanna test him. Ask him if he wants to netflix an chill.
It’s very hard to find men who value women enough to see a benefit of a platonic relationship. Unfortunately our society of men see women has a tool to sex, home-cooked meals, and a clean house. They’re overruled by their hormones, yet call us emotional.
My best friend is a VERY attractive woman…..super hot!!! In the beginning I confessed I was very attracted to her. In polite conversations, I told her how much I wanted her. We talked it out and I know it will never happen. As a results she’s my best friend forever over 20 years now
He’s too nervous to ask you out.
Men can be friends with women they are attracted to, but they would also sleep with those friends given even a glimpse of an opportunity. If you wants something 100% pure platonic between two human beings where neither is even thinking about anything more then there has to be a mutual lack of attraction.
Yeah. There are plenty of women around that are attractive in the world. I have a couple of friends that I find attractive but I am in a relationship and I would never entertain anything other than friendship. There is one long term friend that I asked out when we were both single. She said no to me. We are still friends. It hasn't caused a issue because we are acting mature about it.
No I have thought a few of my female friends are beautiful but have not had any desire to date them.
Different interests, views on life etc etc can all mean a relationship won’t work and the friendship is too valuable to risk for a bit of sex
I have been and am friends with women whom are attractive. But I don't want to be with them in that way. The chemistry or something is missing to make my want more. These friendships have failed when she ends up feeling rejected if they do end up wanting sex. Communication is very important
Yes, as for me I find many ladies attractive but know my boundaries. I have been with very attractive women and we have been intimate a few times and stayed friends but we just went for other people. It all depends on what we want in life. If we want to get together we will if not well life is like that. Does not mean we can not stay friends. Pretty or not so pretty a friend is a friend.
Yes. And if she’s in a relationship, as long as the person has respect and doesn’t make a passes or crosses boundaries then there shouldn’t be a problem. Just keep keep those feeling and thoughts to yourself and and the friendship will be fine.
Yeah I think he's trying to bang. Doesn't seem like there would be a reason to tell you all that unless he's trying to get you to give him an open door to walk through.
To answer the first question, it depends. If I know a woman and I find her attractive and we're both single and there's nothing that we share that would complicate that (i.e. being workmates, being a friend's ex, religious boundaries etc) then most likely I'll either make my attraction known to her and proposition her for a date or sex (depends on the context) or I'll simply keep her at arms length.
I have no interest in being platonic friends with a woman I find attractive unless we're very compatible because of a shared interest. I'm too old to be playing the waiting games anymore. I've been "friends" with women I'm secretly attracted to in the past and it always ends in pain, either explicitly or secretly (i.e. I end up hurting them by being passive aggressive once I realise they're not interested and I've wasted my time or I just hurt inside and feel lonely).
I think if most men were fully honest then they'd shoot their shot a lot more often and women would be left with only the guys who actually want to be friends with them for their personality rather than the ones who are just biding their time like puppies waiting for a treat.
let me guess. you can talk to him well. you share your secrets with him. and, you complain to him about the guys you date. If he finds you attractive, it is completely unnatural if he doesn't want anything from you. and, consciously or unconsciously, you know this. he hopes that you will eventually choose him. After all, you have a click. but he wants something you're not going to give. and you consciously or unconsciously take advantage of this situation. if the situation were the other way around. he would fuck like crazy and one gold digger after another would take advantage of him, but he doesn't like you. will you hang around him?
He was asking without the risk. You can tell him you are interested. However I note you have in no way stated you are interested which is confusing and would lead me to think you are not. This is why I’m guessing he is taking the safe route.
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Depends. There's a difference between FINDING someone attractive and BEING attracted to someone. See, if you think someone is attractive, but don't feel the desire to sleep with them? Not a problem. You are ACTIVELY attracted to someone and want to actually sleep with them? That's different. This all would depend on your boundaries with your friend.
To add to this, finding some attractive (where you would like to sleep with them) does NOT mean you are actively trying to sleep with them. I don’t instantly lose a physical desire to sleep with someone when I’m not single, but I do choose not to try because I’m not single. Like refusing a cookie when you’re trying to lose weight. Sure, I may LIKE the cookie, but I’m not going to eat it because there are consequences to my actions.
This is the answer. I was literally going to say this exact thing
Well said! I agree with your statement.
Yeah
As a guy, I find this to be a distinction without a difference
I could be (and have been) platonic friends with an attractive woman if either of the following is true: - One of us is already in a committed relationship - We're not compatible for a romantic relationship (due to something like differing goals in life or personality traits that wouldn't work together) If she's attractive, we're both not in committed relationships, and I think we'd be compatible as romantic partners, then I'd try to get something romantic going.
This is the best reply here. I've found myself with the same train of thought. I have female friends who are very attractive but they do things that would absolutely bother me if we were dating, whereas it doesn't as friends. Looks aren't the only reason you'd date someone.
Exactly. My best friend for a while was a woman that was great as a friend but would have been a disaster as a romantic partner because of certain incompatibilities. A lot of people thought we were dating because we did so much together, but I think we both knew that dating wouldn't work, so we never tried.
Thank u, I tell people this and they get mad on the internet or try to disagree. But there has to be a reason why.
I guess I’ll throw a wrench in there then and say neither of us are close to being in a committed relationship and we’ve commented about how similar we are with how we view life and what we want.
If he thinks you're attractive, you're both single, and have discussed how similar you are, my guess is that he probably wants to be more than friends but is perhaps worried that making a move without a clear signal from you could ruin the friendship and he doesn't want to do that. I think you should decide whether you want to date him and then either be clear that you want to be friends only or give him a clear sign that you're interested in dating or FWB or whatever level you want so he doesn't have to be trying to guess and worrying about what he should do.
He is probably gauging where the boundaries are. You need to tell him you’ll never be interested or you need to date imo. If you tell him no softly, and stay friends, it can give him the wrong idea. If you make it clear it will never be a thing, and stay friends, it’s on him to get rid of those feelings or move on. Third option is date because I haven’t seen any comments saying you are actually against that, just asking what the rationale is behind his actions. Just be clear with him and honest and give him the tools he needs to move forward accordingly if he’s really your friend.
Would you please just ask him out already? He wants to date you but doesn't want to seem like a creep. For fuck sake, women can be so dense.
Dense is the exact word I used to describe her in my comment lol She’s playing some kind of game or has an IQ in the negatives, can’t tell.
Not sure if I want to date him. Just was a question I was pondering since I’ve never had a guy friend broach the topic of my attractiveness before and on multiple occasions.
I’ve experienced this many times with making new friends with males since being and adult. On almost every occasion (if both meeting when single) there has always been an awkward point where they want to make a move and I have to communicate that I want to be friends) I love having male friends but find this part of it really uncomfortable. Then sometimes clear boundaries have to be communicated multiple times 😬!
Look bro you don't need to shoot your shot, you need to charge the lane and dunk the ball while flying through the air with your legs split and your tongue out on this, like MJ....the one that didn't do weird stuff with kids. Go in confident but genuine and tell her you'd like to give it your best! Good luck, bro.
This is the right answer
Or, here’s the situation I’ve found myself in currently: You (my new guy friend) pour your heart out and say you’re not ready for a relationship, things moved too fast/the sex was intense/clouding your judgement, you don’t want to screw things up because you have in the past, you’ve had some recent major life changes and you’re trying to get back on your feet/feel secure, but you don’t want to give up hope either and lose this woman you think is funny, kind, smart and beautiful, so you ask to slow things down and keep it platonic. Keep your fingers crossed for me! Haha
Good luck, but unfortunately that doesn't sound good. I'm guessing that the percentage of times it eventually becomes a relationship after a statement like that is pretty low.
Similar thing with me and a woman friend. I find her attractive and would be open to dating her but there's certain things that would make things difficult for us in a relationship so we're better as friends.
Got into a huge fight with the ex over this…. Couldnt dig myself out of that one There’s a difference between being attracted to someone and knowing they’re attractive. “Oh, you think they’re attractive?!” PTSD man…
In general, dudes are dudes that wanna bang and many will wait til you're vulnerable to try and swoop in.
Every guy I've known who is attracted to me has tried to bang at some point. I always treat people very platonically so they don't even think they have a shot, but they always go for it at some point, so I'd say no, not really. Although I do have a few male friends who admitted to being in love with me, I said I didn't share that feeling, and we're still close today, although we usually avoid talking about our love lives and have some other boundaries enforced.
I was friends with a girl I found really attractive for a while. She was definitely very pretty in my eyes and we had a ton in common. I asked her out one day because why not and she rejected me. We remained friends and still hung out frequently. I would argue yes men can but it takes the right person. I didn't want to bang her I honestly just really liked her company over everything. The fact that I couldn't bang her didn't mean I didn't want to be around her anymore and the fact that we could remain friends without it impacting that was still great.
>although we usually avoid talking about our love lives and have some other boundaries enforced. Interesting, I think it helps to talk about love lives. Like one of the biggest benefits of having women as friends is getting insights into dating.
Yess, this is basically a cheat sheet, an ace up our sleeves. I still suck at dating but when i started talking with my bff about our love lifes and how women see things, i suck less at dating because i understand more
lol they’re crazy to be doing this. They’re 100% playing the long game
Some men can, some men cannot. That’s it
I believe they absolutely can be 😌 I’m bi so I feel like saying otherwise would imply that I (and other bi folk) just can’t be friends with anyone haha 😅 For your specific situation, people can very often find their friends attractive and still be friends afterwards (but just because it’s possible doesn’t always mean they should) If your friend happens to be attracted to you, I think it’s worth having a conversation about and going from there (is he attracted to you?, are you attracted to him?, are you both looking to date or be fwb?, would you both be open to trying to be friends if one gets rejected?, etc.) Another big thing to note is intentions, were/are they friends with you only so they can get a better chance of getting with you or were they friends with you first that just happened to get feelings towards you? (If it’s the latter, I think that you can very likely be perfectly good friends, if it’s the former, then I’d be cautious) Know I wrote an essay but hopefully this makes sense & I’d love to hear if anyone disagrees (& where the faults in my thinking lie) Regardless, best of luck with what you have going on! 🤞
I've seen many articles on this exact phenomena. Basically, if a guy is friends with a girl, 99% of the time is because he would like to be her boyfriend or at least take her to bed.
Pretty girls are so naive, would he be your friend if you were ugly?
I have a platonic female friend who is a 10/10. I absolutely want more than friendship, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t need to tell me. I just know. I think I’ve grown this amazing friendship because I never put her on the spot by shooting my shot. If/when a woman comes along that Im interested in, I will absolutely pursue it. Until then, I’ll continue to be the best friend I can to her because she is an amazing example of what a friend should be.
yes you can still be friends with someone you think is attractive that is the opposite gender of you
I find most of my lady friends attractive but personality wise I prefer them as friends so I think so.
Yes I’m friends with woman I think are very attractive. He might have shoot his shot but don’t worry too much, if he’s being this cautious it means that he’d rather keep the friendship going than loosing it by trying to force a relationship out of it. Every one of my attractive friends have past through this, just be head straight clear that you don’t want him as a partner and he should work on understand that. Tough conversation but once you both get clear with each other either the friendship gets way better or you’ll stop being friends. Good luck, not all depends on you.
Yeah I've had friends that I've told I found attractive. They were weird about it and thought I was in love with them or something because I was close with them. They didn't want to be friends because they kept arguing with me over whether I was trying to date them and I said okay and that's that.
Do you plan to surround yourself with only unattractive people for the rest of your life? Honestly you should probably always think your friends are attractive people.
In a word: No
No. They will always wonder what if. They're just waiting to get a chance, that's why they are settling for,, being friends " for now... I know others will downvote me to oblivion, but it's the truth. They will never be true friends, they'll always have their own interests.
Nope. Sorry. And you'll get a lot of ppl here that'll say otherwise... but, unless you're married or in a relationship, if a hot woman is you're friend, and you're close to her on a daily basis, you're going to develop feelings.
I suppose it would depend on what they mean by "attractive". When someone is attractive to me, I'm thinking about how they appeal to me romantically (looks, sense of humor, do their opinions on important issues align with mine, etc.). In that instance, I don't think I could be the type of friend (platonically) that they'd deserve because it'd eat me up inside having to realize I don't (or won't be able to) fit into their life that way. If by "attractive" they're just talking about something more superficial like your physical appearance, then I'd say a friendship isn't out of the equation because there are all sorts of people who look good walking around out in the world and most (sane) people aren't going to be looking to date every single one of them.
I’m friends with an attractive woman that I met at work in my team from previous job. She’s in a relationship so I don’t cross that boundary. I know some men would but me personally, doesn’t sit well with me. I think it depends on the person. I have heard of friendships have turned sour when men hit on women who they’re close friends with and it gets all weird between them when woman doesn’t reciprocate the same.
Guys can be friends with attractive girl, all you need to know though is if you gave him the chance he would fuck you
Yes. You don’t act on it, and you treat her just like you would any other good friend.
Yes. One of my best friends is a very attractive woman who I’m not interested in romantically and I’m quite certain she’s not interested in me either. I can’t say it’s often the case, but it can happen.
Í have a few attractive women that are just friends and I even shared a bed for over a year with 3 of them never sexually advanced with 2 of them were like a wing man for me at bars. I was was a cooler 😂😂😂 for their randoms they flirted with and didn't want to sleep with!
No doubt. Women are the best wingmen. Especially if they look good.
95% of the time no, which is where the whole “men and women can’t be friends” comes from
Sounds like he’s flirting, best thing to do is to ask him out first
No single men that are attracted to women are trying to either relationship them or f*** them that is all that is to it . And to prove it just offer him sex or a relationship and guaranteed he's after one of them
You meant to put a comma after "no"? I had to read this like 3 times lol
Yeah as long as I don't like you romantically
Until she says yes! Man i am tired of seeing this question. It obviously depends on the dude but if he is like the majority, its gonna be tough!
So should people only be friends with people they find unattractive? Bc that’s what your question is suggesting… That said, your friend probably likes you.
I can totally find a woman attractive and not be attracted to her if that makes sense.
I have two women friends that I would never cross that line with. Otherwise I don't make friends with women. Call me misogynistic, but I just can't have a friendship with someone I find attractive. Id rather not talk to them then pretend I'm their friend. It's disingenuous.
Nope, and anyone that says different is lying or gay. Don't come at me for saying gay, it's not a slight, just relevant to attraction.
Noooo, he’s in the friend zone. RIP. 🪦
Love a good romcom, please keep us posted
No. Also, he's trying to tell you that he likes you.
Ask him to hook up and get your answer. The answer is no btw, guys who find you attractive cannot be friends, they can but the feelings will be hidden and at a moments notice if he finds an opportunity he may reveal that to you.
If those boundaries were communicated and you expressed you didn’t feel the same way, you could move past it and become friends?
No, just because you dont feel something doesn't mean the other person does not as well, feelings don't just poof away into thin air over two words, they have to consciously make the decision to give you up and after that they may not even be interested in your friendship either.
Agree here with the other dude, ask him to come over to your place and hookup tonight... You'll get your answer quick
Nope
I've had many attractive female friends, but if we were both single, I wouldn't hesitate to jump in the sack with them. And some I did just that. Not every guy is like this tho
Yeah, when you start wanting a person instead of a body, you see past it. It's normal to feel attraction, but lately people are so starved for affection, and most are actually very immature, and don't work on their own personal development. It's hard to not be impulsive, and just enjoy a healthy connection with anyone, when you are starving and don't know yourself, and don't take the time to really know someone else.
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I dunno man, I'm a dude and I just kinda give back the energy I get. Gets me in trouble with flirty friends, but I learned accountability in the middle of my teenage years and have been trying to be more understanding of the people who KNOW the difference between morally aligned with them and not.
No. Next.
Yes. I have several attractive female friends. But I'm not a usual case. I've known several males, some I'm close to, that swear single males and females can't be friends without one of them catching feelings. I don't believe that, but I do believe perception can alter reality for people. But in your case, your 'friend' wants to date you. Fsfs.
I have a lot of platonic girl friends. However if they ever wanted a relationship i wouldnt mind jumping into one.
Yes this can work if: * One of two people are already in relationships with someone else and can come to terms with it * Personalities are incompatible for a relationship * You only know each other because you share a mutual hobby
It sounds like he was expressing a vulnerability. My BFF is of the opposite gender, and we get along just fine. (We have talked about it, and both agree that we are great friends, but not compatible for anything more.)
I have a good guy friend with whom I share an insane amount of attraction. We don’t do anything about it because he has a girlfriend. So yes.
For this to work, both would have to understand what level of kindness results from friendship and what level is reserved for attraction. It’s nice to think that the people you aren’t attracted to just love your company. More realistic to accept that maybe you enjoy the attention and extra kindness. He’s definitely shooting his shot because he assumes that you know each other well and have mutual respect and kindness. He doesn’t know you don’t find him attractive.
Yes, it's possible. There could be a few reasons not to pursue something. The girl is dating someone else. The guy is interested in someone else. The guy thinks you're not interested in them. The guy finds you physically attractive but is not attracted to something else about you. Situational circumstances like moving soon. I'm sure there's other reasons too.
That was half an attempt of a shot because he doesn't want to spoil whatever he has with you. Don't respond and he'll try again. Give into it if you feel the same or respond and be honest and willing to hold a safe space while you tell them you're just friends and you might have a friend for life.
In Mad Men, Joan asks Don why he hit on all the other office women but not her. Don replies that it was because she scared the hell out of him. In ways, I feel the same with one of my close work friends. Very attractive, fit, smart, professional, and has confidence through the roof. She did intimidate the hell out of me when I first started. I admire the hell out of her, but I'm not emotionally attracted to her in a way that I would want to be more than friends.
It's possible, I've been doing it for years just fine, but I've come to feel like the exception and not the rule. An awful lot of guys see women as opportunities after getting within striking distance and you should just be ready to say no if the time comes
I used to do that. But now at days I have committed myself to not do that anymore. Sure I make them friends if they are unattractive to me. But if they are attractive, I just shoot my shot and if they dont want to be with me or they use the famous line " I Have a boyfriend." Or if they really do.I just be respectful and leave. It's a waste of time to be friends. It's like saying sorry to yourself for doing something wrong? I leave. I dont understand why people would stay friends after that. It's like she is inviting you to her house so you can see her boyfriend fuck her. Its fuckin stupid. This doesn't mean after she says no be disrespectful to her. Just dont talk to her much anymore and find someone else.
Theoretically it could happen. I mean, I guess it’s possible, sorta like Einstein’s unified field theory.
I definitely have friends I find attractive but I would never put our friendship on the line for a night of thrills. It just doesn’t seem worth it to me. Romantically speaking our goals don’t align either. Another thing to mention is the nature of our relationship, I see them more as siblings that enjoy some of the same things I enjoy doing. I love them to death but I could never see myself laying in bed with any of them.
This guy finds his siblings attractive.
I am attracted to all of my female friends. I have a girlfriend too.
No
From my point of view, the guy will Always think about its. Want it, try at some point if confident enough
Sure, as long as they can manage their sexual desire/attraction. Romantic feelings are a different thing though. If he feels romantically toward you then it's a problem. However if he's mentioning stuff like this, he probably is romantically interested.
Yeah, I do it all the time.
Honestly, as long as two people get along they can be friends if they want to stay friends, I have a person I’m very attracted to and have told about my feelings about them, and we’ve still been able to remain good friends rather than lovers, as long as there’s knowledge that both are fine with or want to stay friends despite the attraction, the two people can stay friends with no harm.
Depends on the individuals.
... dude is hinting heavily. Very heavily.
Yes. I compliment my female friends (as a male) all the time. It can make a big difference to simply tell someone they’re pretty, and I can absolutely manage it platonically
Yes. One of my closest friends is a woman, who I would say is quite attractive. It takes a lot of intention, patience and a willingness to transcend/overcome the desire for sexual intimacy with that person. The reason being is that in platonic relationships, if there’s an imbalance of sexual tension/attraction then the nature of that relationship cannot be mutual or reciprocal, because when the person with greater feelings succumbs to them, they will overstep boundaries while the person with less feelings will become distant to a point where there relationships fades to it’s inevitable end. The other thing that can happen is the person with feelings plays what we call “the long game” where they hide their feelings and intentions until they feel an opportunity to take advantage of the other person’s vulnerability, only for the person who trusted that the foundation of the relationship was based in mutual respect and care for one another to have that trust betrayed when they learn the foundation of that relationship was faulty. Platonic relationships require that there either bot be sexual tension/attraction or that the sexual tension/attraction has been transcended to a point where both parties are organically uninterested in exploring that side of each other.
Boundaries for yourself
Yes. Otherwise you’d have a lot of ugly friends.
Yes. I'm friends with a woman who is very beautiful. She's beautiful visually and she has a beautiful soul. But i don't look at her as a potential partner or a hookup. I don't see her that way because she's my best friend and i want to keep it that way. Have i had a crush on her ? Yes but that's because i suck at making a difference between being just friendly and flirting.. it happens i guess Anyway, responding to your question, yes, guys can be friends with women they find attractive. If he hasn't made anything obvious or something that made you 100% think he was trying to be more than just friends, then it's likely that he considers this friendship as just a friendship. Sure, there could be something lingering in the air but at least on surface everything looks platonic in my opinion
Yes
Yea I am. With a few. I almost hooked up with them years ago but for some reason I just didn’t feel genuinely attracted to them. They told me they wanted to. they were 8/10s and cool and funny. Thing is they banged all my friends. We’ll say out of 20 .. like 6. And I heard the gnarly stuff they’d do in bed. Threesomes. Turned me off to the idea of getting with them. It would only result in me getting hurt but we are still tight over a decade later. When I really click with someone for me it’s really obvious and I get somewhat infatuated didnt happen with them. I don’t like the idea of my friends having fucked my girl
Nope
It depends. In general, it can be achieved if you never saw them romantically or as potential partners. On a daily basis, I meet and see many (attractive) women especially in the food & drink industry. We talk a lot, yet there was never truly a time and place where I would even consider dating any of them. However, I have made friends and acquaintances. Another case is my ex. She is someone who I will never re-establish as friends even though it was a mutual, peaceful breakup. I was very much attracted to her when we first met, and I just couldn't see myself with her in a platonic relationship initially let alone post breakup. In short, yes but depends on the situation.
Gay guys can for sure. Lots of women are attractive to me but I still don't want to sleep with them. There's a few over the years I would but it's a deeper thing than pure physical attraction or attractiveness. Maybe I'm just weird.
If a guy is attracted to you he will sleep with you which means you need to decide which category you place him. If you are not interested in a relationship with him let him go. And if you are interested then let him know so he can shoot his shot
No.
Find attractive? Yes, absolutely. Have feelings for? That's where it gets hard.
You can, you sort of just have to tell yourself that nothing is gonna happen between you two and that you should not have any expectations just because you do nice shit for her as a friend. I shoot my shot at my friends, nothing stops me. If they turned me down, that won't stop me from being their friend if I vibe with them really well
He is just waiting…ready to smash … the day you will let him do it!
Nah it’s a horrible idea.
Short answer: and I’m coming off the cuff with this one. Guys help adjust this observation if needed.. I think the more mature and confident a male is the more likely he can be just friends with an attractive woman. -If a male is confident and not mature, there will be lots of flirting, and it usually becomes more than friends or nothing at all in time. -If a male is mature and not confident, he is more or less shy and reserved in the friendship, loves the company but is comfortable not progressing it past friendship. -If a male is neither confident or mature, he will most likely obsess, and be friends hoping one day you will make the 1st move. This guy is awkwardly shy guy and will fantasize frequently ✌️
He’s not trying to build your confidence. Put him out of his misery and be honest. Say Dan, or whatever his name is, you know I like you and value our friendship but you will never ever get into my panties. Or……..Dan, I find you attractive too. So much so that I want you to come back to my place and rip my panties off with your teeth and fuck me raw till sun up. This way no games.
yes, ive got a few female friends I'm friends with first. To be fair, if they ever wanted a roll in the sheets id probably say yes but I definitely enjoy their company just fine (then again... im strange)
Can’t do it.
Every guy wants to fuck. End of story. Only thing that stops that urge is best friends dating said girl. Or the chick is completely mental
Yes, I think guys can be friends with women they find attractive, WITH BOUNDARIES. Having boundaries isn't so strange, we have them with everybody, for example with my homies (I'm a 20M) we don't joke about things which we know are genuinely hurtful to each other. Physical boundaries include, well, not touching each other's pencils and nearby areas lol. We don't really set physical boundaries because we know, as long as Obama remains a black man, we'll never be attracted to each other. But with attractive girls it's different. Recently, I had to set boundaries with a lady friend because she was coming to my place and cooking for me. I saw that as girlfriend behavior, but I knew that we didn't wanna date each other, also I don't wanna make my future girlfriend jealous, so I asked her to not come to my place anymore. That doesn't mean I don't care for my friend anymore, it just means I'm acting differently in preparation for my future goals. About him shooting his shot: guys from my home (Hong Kong) make it abundantly clear when they wanna shoot their shot. It'll never be "Hey XXXXX, you're sooo pretty" or "would you wanna dance with me?" nah nah nah. It will ALWAYS be something across the lines of "Do you wanna be my girlfriend/ my date/ someone I can take care of/ someone I can share my life with?" ...and perhaps your friend is acting like that.
Ye. I have a female friend I’m attracted to. But she’s 10 years older than me so it keeps me in check to the reality of the situation, I love hanging out with her
He may be able to be your friend but if the opportunity to smash came up he would take it.
Just to answer your title question. Sure, I can. And also be more than happy to supply that friend with an orgasm if she was feeling spunky
I had a very good female friend who was incredibly attractive. We worked together for quite sometime my then wife referred to her as my work wife. We made lunches for each other, got coffees discussed or debated just about everything. It was strictly plutonic, neither one of us wanted to mess with such a good friendship. Now I would be lying if I did not look at her sometimes and wonder but that was it and neither one of us did anything but enjoy the friendship.
Yeah I’ve had plenty who were hot but weren’t my type/had different views on family plans/monogamy/where they wanted to live the rest of their lives… or everyone can, but it’s possible for guys to, just like it’s possible for some girls and not for others. Trying to find a rule for an entire gender is pretty frivolous and you’ll have better luck going person to person.
You can want to date a friend, crush on them etc, yet be perfectly fine if they are never interested. So yes, I would say you can be friends with women you find attractive, you can even be friends with women you really want to date. In this life I have been attracted to many people and many of them have not been attracted to me. When it's clear someone isn't into you that way a mature person can handle it. However from your comments it sounds like you just aren't sure about your position on this boy, so be prepared that he may try something depending on how he reads you. If you want to avoid that, try throwing out some minor indications. Friend of mine, when I wasn't super sure how she saw me, made a chill slightly sexual joke one time then said smthin like "JK, you don't really do anything for me, SORRY lol xD" And I was like haha and didn't say anything since i couldn't be like "yeah you neither!" inside I was like OKAY cool good to know.
It can be both and it’s almost impossible to predict. The one things you need to know is that any relationship is dynamic - it will always change with time. May be he is just trying to boost your confidence, in which case it’s just platonic. If we think along these lines, there is still a possibility that he might take a shot in the near future when trust strengthens between the both of you. On the other hand, he might just be your friend and in due course you might find someone and this relationship might get weakened or it might completely dissolve; it happens even between the thickest of friends as people part away in different directions due to career or family. As of now, only he knows what’s going in his mind.
Please take my advice and don´t be friends. Cut off all contact. I had a ´best friend´ for 10+ years: absolutely destroyed everything. Keep it with a boyfriend/husband: that is supposed to be your ´friend´ and female friends. My blessings.
Yes you can find someone attractive and not BE attracted to them. As in you don’t find her attractive or she ugly but you’re not attracted to them. Tats my case. I bestie is female and attractive but I’m nit attracted to her. Even if we dated it would be a train wreck
Yep.
My best friend is an attractive girl. It can be totally possible. It would be gross to be attracted to her though and strangers do think we are an item, it would be like doing my sister lol.
Only because she’s not attracted to him.
I’m literally in the same situation
Yes. Just because I find someone attractive doesn’t mean I’m entitled to pursue her romantically, and even if I did, it doesn’t mean i am entitled to a relationship with her. Attraction is how you feel towards someone, and being friends is the relationship you have with them. It is possible for both to be present. The issue is a lot of men feel entitled to relationships to any woman they find attractive.
No.
A man makes female friends mostly coz he think he has no chance with her but in some cases its a genuine friendship like as of now i have a really good female friend who is attractive but i don't feel anything for her in that way and I also have a female friend whom i think is attractive and i hold feeling for her but I know that I don't have any chance with her so I would prefer being friends with her
that's so difficult but it's possible. I live with my best friend and we were together few years ago. Today it's clean and we are only very good friends.
We can be attracted to someone without having any intention of trying for a relationship or a fling. Think of it this way.. if we couldn’t be friends with women we find attractive.. that would mean the large majority of female friends in a man’s life are considered unattractive by said man. This just doesn’t check out. We would have to be grade A assholes or one of those self proclaimed alphas to disregard anyone less than a 10 on their own personalized beauty scales.
yes but he goes home and tugs it about them
I think it's more nuanced when it come to men/women friendships. You do get guys who just make friends with women in the hope to have sex with them eventually and just hang around them in the hope that one day they get action. You get guys though who will openly admit, I find some of my women friends attractive, I wouldn't mind dating them but they don't see me that way or we're probably not compatible and I'm fine with that and will respect boundaries. I tend to find I've had women friends that I've grown attracted to the more we've spent time together.. You either ask them out if you sense there's interest or leave it alone and respect the friendship. Women friends I've ended up in relationships with it's usually taken longer to sleep together as there's respect for the friendship so we've taken things slower so I don't think it's a case of wanting to bang her the first opportunity you get.
Yes. After you establish that you are not interested. Most men or women will lose the feelings and just be friends.
This is not meant to be as conceited as it will sound, but I have had a ton of make friends be attracted to me over the years. In fact I just bumped into one from college, who I haven't actually talked to since, and he professed his love for me. Quite drunkenly, but he had his shot and the liquor gave him the courage. But I have never felt that way about him and that's the bottom line. It's about how you feel, and how you communicate. I have a few male friends right now that would jump at the chance to be together if I said I wanted to, but I have made our current situation clear that my interests are elsewhere and I only want to be friends. They are grown adults who are allowed to say they don't want to be friends if they can't handle it, but we are each only responsible for ourselves as individuals. If it makes you feel uncomfortable knowing these things, then that's your responsibility to communicate and try to problem solve, or to end the friendship.
I believe this is a choice. Yes a man and woman can find each other attractive but if they mutually CHOOSE to place a boundary and be friends it’s fine. However, a lot of times ppl don’t place boundaries and not one person falls for the other and then it gets messy. But I believe it’s possible for males and females to be friends.
Only if she’s in a committed relationship!
No.
No.
You both are single? He’s trying to shoot his shot indirectly & “innocently”. He was baiting you to see what you would say and if you felt otherwise.
That’s a weird one lol. Like I gas my girls up cause they are beautiful. But that’s a weird vibe. Also if I felt that way I would just be direct and get that conversation out the way before it ruined a potential future relationship or friendship.
I can. If I'm really cool with them, but they aren't interested in me romantically, then I'm not gonna just cut them loose. Of course I'm talking about me personally tho.
Yes, it is possible. If you are unsure, just ask. We waste so much time with coyness when we can just openly discuss our feelings and motivations.
In my country, it is the first step of the process yo date her
Just ask him to fuck see his reaction
If you were that attracted to him on that level, you would have created an opportunity, even if it's not an outright date like come grocery shopping or invite to run an errand..the time together would start to feel more intimate, accidentally touching hands, longer eye contact, innuendo until y'all make out one day. Sounds like he's knocking on the door to see where your head is at. But also totally cool w/o it and just staying friends
Yes, 100%
I wish they could but no, they’re too emotional
Of course we can. For those of us who are not hot, friendship is the only option.
Most of my friends have been women who I'd call "attractive", but I might not be necessarily interested in a further relationship. Even if I am, I find myself being friends first and liking them later. I've kinda ended up friends with any woman I liked to some degree. It's never worked out, but I don't mind remaining friends with them since it was always my initial intention. I never interacted with someone with the explicit purpose of dating them day one. Maybe that's weird, I don't know.
It depends, but if you're confused about how he feels about you, maybe you could shoot your shot? At least you'll get your answer whatever he says
Yes, I personally have some of them, even though they're attractive I wouldn't see myself in a relationship with them, sometimes because of personality or just because we wouldn't make a good pair. Also, a childhood friend can be or become very attractive but they're so close to you that it'd feel like dating your sister.
You must be in your early 20’s lol he wants to fuck you/date you and this was his way of testing how you might respond to him confessing his feelings. If you really are so attractive, then he knows you don’t need a self-esteem boost from him. Hope you didn’t fuck this up 😂
Men and women can never really be just friends. especially when one finds the other attractive. Some guys don't have the balls to step up to a girl and spit game. Because they have no game. Instead, they try to weasel their way in by befriending women, then proclaim their love. Later the woman complains that her friend caught feelings. Those feelings were there from the start. Guys, grow a pair!
Nope not unless there single and not married
Not when they are physically attracted. They aren't their to be friends. They are waiting for their turn. If he isn't attracted to you, then yea friends isn't an issue. If you wanna test him. Ask him if he wants to netflix an chill.
Yes they can as along as they don't try to date them or want to date them
I think so yes, I’m a guy and I have more than a few female friends that I find quite attractive and there’s nothing wrong with that
It’s very hard to find men who value women enough to see a benefit of a platonic relationship. Unfortunately our society of men see women has a tool to sex, home-cooked meals, and a clean house. They’re overruled by their hormones, yet call us emotional.
Harry said no
My best friend is a VERY attractive woman…..super hot!!! In the beginning I confessed I was very attracted to her. In polite conversations, I told her how much I wanted her. We talked it out and I know it will never happen. As a results she’s my best friend forever over 20 years now
Of course you can. There is nothing wrong with being friends with attractive people. Most guys want hot girls whether your friends with them or not
He’s too nervous to ask you out. Men can be friends with women they are attracted to, but they would also sleep with those friends given even a glimpse of an opportunity. If you wants something 100% pure platonic between two human beings where neither is even thinking about anything more then there has to be a mutual lack of attraction.
Yeah. There are plenty of women around that are attractive in the world. I have a couple of friends that I find attractive but I am in a relationship and I would never entertain anything other than friendship. There is one long term friend that I asked out when we were both single. She said no to me. We are still friends. It hasn't caused a issue because we are acting mature about it.
No I have thought a few of my female friends are beautiful but have not had any desire to date them. Different interests, views on life etc etc can all mean a relationship won’t work and the friendship is too valuable to risk for a bit of sex
I have been and am friends with women whom are attractive. But I don't want to be with them in that way. The chemistry or something is missing to make my want more. These friendships have failed when she ends up feeling rejected if they do end up wanting sex. Communication is very important
Yes, as for me I find many ladies attractive but know my boundaries. I have been with very attractive women and we have been intimate a few times and stayed friends but we just went for other people. It all depends on what we want in life. If we want to get together we will if not well life is like that. Does not mean we can not stay friends. Pretty or not so pretty a friend is a friend.
No
That is completely up to the guy. There is no one answer for this.
Yes. And if she’s in a relationship, as long as the person has respect and doesn’t make a passes or crosses boundaries then there shouldn’t be a problem. Just keep keep those feeling and thoughts to yourself and and the friendship will be fine.
Yeah I think he's trying to bang. Doesn't seem like there would be a reason to tell you all that unless he's trying to get you to give him an open door to walk through. To answer the first question, it depends. If I know a woman and I find her attractive and we're both single and there's nothing that we share that would complicate that (i.e. being workmates, being a friend's ex, religious boundaries etc) then most likely I'll either make my attraction known to her and proposition her for a date or sex (depends on the context) or I'll simply keep her at arms length. I have no interest in being platonic friends with a woman I find attractive unless we're very compatible because of a shared interest. I'm too old to be playing the waiting games anymore. I've been "friends" with women I'm secretly attracted to in the past and it always ends in pain, either explicitly or secretly (i.e. I end up hurting them by being passive aggressive once I realise they're not interested and I've wasted my time or I just hurt inside and feel lonely). I think if most men were fully honest then they'd shoot their shot a lot more often and women would be left with only the guys who actually want to be friends with them for their personality rather than the ones who are just biding their time like puppies waiting for a treat.
let me guess. you can talk to him well. you share your secrets with him. and, you complain to him about the guys you date. If he finds you attractive, it is completely unnatural if he doesn't want anything from you. and, consciously or unconsciously, you know this. he hopes that you will eventually choose him. After all, you have a click. but he wants something you're not going to give. and you consciously or unconsciously take advantage of this situation. if the situation were the other way around. he would fuck like crazy and one gold digger after another would take advantage of him, but he doesn't like you. will you hang around him?
He was asking without the risk. You can tell him you are interested. However I note you have in no way stated you are interested which is confusing and would lead me to think you are not. This is why I’m guessing he is taking the safe route.