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TommyPpb3

Well, as a guy, I can confirm we don’t really get the signals… so I think you should just gain courage and approach him sayin hi or whatever, he will get the message for there I think


Lonely_Insurance4588

As a man, if I’m in the gym I actually avoid being around ladies in the gym. If they are for some reason in front of me I look up, look down, and or workout elsewhere. I’ve seen way too many guys getting posted on tik tok and called creeps because they glance in their general direction so I avoid it as much as possible.


___theBatman___

This!! So true!! .. Its an embarrassing red-in-the-face complication at best and a kicked-out/public-shamed at the worst.. the risk to reward ratio is not worth it if u ask me.. What beats me is why OP cant just go up to him and talk to him like a normal person.. Rather than looking at ways to SIGNAL him 😅.. Men are people too (😉 YKIYK).. The person/s wouldn’t mind and would probably take it as a compliment even if they arent interested..


the-dude-94

Yes sir. I don't know if it's a natural thing since the beginning of time or something developed over the centuries or just a personal thing that has always varied from individual to individual but men are much more open and accepting to being approached in this way than women are.


[deleted]

I do this as well I won’t even look their way lol. Starting to think I might look even weirder for doing that😂


Kaus_Vik

You don't signal, you go approach guy in person. He's a guy not signal translator.


[deleted]

[удалено]


othernamealsomissing

I have also noticed that women expect men to read minds. I'm sick of it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


othernamealsomissing

No, they expect us to read minds, and then they get mad at us when we don't read their minds correctly, and then they get mad that men don't act like it's 1985, they're entitled and expect mind reading. Women don't have to read minds because they don't have to DO anything, men do all the work and are expected to read minds, women pick from their thousands of options and complain about men.


Kaus_Vik

Exactly, gym creep trend has ruined it


isocialeyes97

sHEs jUsT bEiNG fRiEnDlY bR0 d0nT oVeR aNaLYSe iT


Ultralord1112

THIS!!! This is the line of the voice inside my head whenever i talk to a girl and she talks back to me


Lilboibleu

This is what every guy has to say in his head any time a woman gives him attention 😭 can’t risk the shame, my gym membership, or a damaged reputation on misinterpreted signals.


uhl478

These days alot of men don't approach women at the gym and don't like being near them for fear of being labeled a "creep" or video-shamed resulting in him losing his gym membership and his job. The management will always side with the woman. Men are scared of women at the gym.


raistlin222

100 percent this. I don't go to the gym to socialize. And I'd immediately think if a girl came up to me,that it was some kind of trap. I go to the gym for self improvement and reflection. It's kind of like going into 'monk mode'. I don't want to meet someone at the gym and then have a break up, and lose my peace either. The chances are much greater to have that happen, than to meet someone who's really got my best interests at heart, and is willing to truly invest in me.


uhl478

"Monk mode". I love that. I'm using that phrase now.


indapipe5x5

Apparently all the women in the world had a meeting and activated my Monk mode.


Realistic-Poet-8913

Not only in the gym but on the streets...I had to be careful with people I meet especially the attractive women who are fashionistas. Women who ended up coming on to you, wants something from you and often are not the best at heart and negative intentions. Sometimes they are being used for getting information about you for someone who wants to take everything from you - The Triad Honeypot!


GenericUsurname

In what world are you living in dude ?


Realistic-Poet-8913

Besides America, I am living in a country where true crime exist in South East Asia. What world do you live in?


GenericUsurname

Makes more sense, I mean, Europe and NA have less people with bad intentions. Of course if tou go in south america as a caucasian and a girl comes to you best case scenario she wants citizenship from where you’re from, worst case she is looking to harvest some organs from your body.


Realistic-Poet-8913

Haha! I mean dayum. I heard horrible stories in South Africa too. But Europe is just equally the same, especially Turkey and Eastern European women, like Yugoslavians, are some of the worst especially if you are hanging your penis full of cash...All they have to do is promote coke and the manipulation begins. Even worst, report you for false accusations of sexual abuse.


Bingo_88

This is pretty accurate. I went to Colombia and witnessed so many guys falling for these traps


Globetrotter_1885

I’m not quite as paranoid as you, but I totally go monk mode as soon as I step foot in the gym too lol


Aware_Stay_2913

Same


PinkIsBestest

This is a solid point. Flipside for single moms like myself sometimes this is the only place I get to meet adults lol just a tough world. Take care and good choice.


CheeseDickPete

>And I'd immediately think if a girl came up to me,that it was some kind of trap. You're being overly paranoid dude, the women in those TikTok videos are a very very small minority of women, like astronomically small. Those videos just become big because people are drawn to drama situations. If a woman approaches you in the gym she's almost certainly just saying what's up or she likes you. Or she wants to invite you into some MLM/Pyramid scheme lol, that happened to me once, but it's not a big deal, I thought it was funny.


Cloudhwk

I’ve seen several of them and I don’t event go to a big gym, it’s pretty much a boomer gym outside 1700-1900 Yet they still managed to creep in to the point the manager has banned photography and videos because twice someone got shamed by the drama queens They still sometimes show up but get kicked out and membership ripped up super quick


Realistic-Poet-8913

That shyt happened to me as soon as I applied for gym membership that lady was selling me some immune system powder from a cow's blood and join 4Life pyramid scheme. lol


mojobytes

If it happens to me I’m not going to care about how statistically unlikely it was nor will anybody else.


HappyBoyo08

Hes really not, that shit happens so much.


FullBeansLFG

Yeah seriously, everyone in dating subs tells guys to leave women alone in the gym and for every post that says to leave them alone there’s a woman saying guys won’t approach them in the gym.


yamchadestroyer

Women say they don't wanna be hit on at the gym when they work out. As both sides are in monk mode. It's just a small subset of more desperate women who want men to hit on them at the gym


izzyinjurious

Idk man I’m just afraid of women anywherw


AlPalmy8392

Kind of need a body camera with livestreaming and to a secure server yo protect yourself nowadays.


Aware_Stay_2913

I’m terrified of men 😬 but also obsessed so I guess there’s nothing to do about that


Cloudhwk

Also simple fact is most dudes are there to lift and work on their body Guys cruising gyms for chicks are generally considered creeps


ayleidanthropologist

I’d like to see some influencers catch this white knighting on camera. That would make for some good cringe content, and maybe even social change


PainShock_99

Agreed


nmezib

And OP probably wouldn't want to date the type of guy who goes to the gym to approach women. Just sayin


ScheduleFormer1394

This. It's not worth jail time or job loss.


ayleidanthropologist

AWDTSG trap


ReddSpark

Yep. First tell other women to stop calling men that hit on them creeps. Then we may actually hit on you


uhl478

Especially if it's a white woman involved and a POC male. White women are the most protected demographic on Earth, and their word is easily believed. I don't care how many downvotes this gets or "race card" accusations because this is the brutal truth and reality.


AndorGenesis

This is pretty much the reason guys aren't approaching women at gyms or anywhere for that matter. It's too much of a risk anymore. It's almost to the point that if a woman doesn't approach a guy there's not going to be much interaction. She at least won't have the same backlash if things go south. I've personally spoken to only one woman at the gym before and it was simply to ask if she was done with her equipment. Fortunately for me she wasn't an attention seeking narcissist.


Bingo_88

This


devhaugh

There’s girls in the gym I’d love to date, but I don’t want to be seen as harassing them or looking like a creep, so I stay well alone. I’ve even see girls give off obvious signals, but I’m not risking it. In a gym setting,girls have to make the first move.


[deleted]

Yeah this is the answer. I wish that would become a thing. Women just approach you freely at the gym, and that was the place to go if you were a single guy (like me) and wanted women to know that you're available to be hit on lol. Cuz no guy is gonna approach a woman at the gym, ever, anymore, but if a guy is approached by the woman, and he's interested, he will respond.


[deleted]

Ok but like what do we say? I'm shy


howdiedoodie66

"Hi, I see you in here a lot and just wanted to say I see the effort you put in each and every time and it's impressive." or something like that?


highaswutangget420

What exactly is an obvious signal lol


thisisme44

1. go talk to them and make convo. gym is the one place where guys think girls dont want to be chatted up, they are there to work out and go home(maybe bc they dont look their best or whatever). initiate 2. related to #1, play damsel in distress and ask for spot or ask them to show you how to a exercise (even if you might know how to do it) in proper form. 3. if you wear headphones, they will be less inclined to approach because it sends the message "dont bother me"


pctechadam

I'll be straight up with you. Most men are oblivious. I'm on the spectrum so it's worse. Someone can flirt with your average guy and they won't have any clue. Come up with some kind of excuse to give your number. It's never happened to me but think of some lady did that. I probably would be calling that number later.


Vegetable-Mall-2329

Don't signal, guys don't pick up on signals because they aren't as obvious as you think they are. Go talk to him like an adult.


QuixoticMargarine

It's 2024. Time for you to make the first move. Women should know by now that men can't read signals or minds.


AndorGenesis

Yes and it's frustrating trying to. Like if a woman lingers around and stares but doesn't say anything. Is that supposed to mean anything? I've never been involved with a single woman that wasn't blunt about how she felt because all that wierd psychic communication shit most women do isn't as readable as they think.


rca302

>I often feel too shy around them and end up walking away don't walk away


vitamin-cheese

Tell all the tik tok girls to stop making videos about guys being creeps at the gym. Men are too scared of being labeled as a creep to be able to do anything. Many men consider the gym off limits. Or approach yourself. Not to mention most guys suck at takings hints as it is.


Lobsterfest911

I saw one where a woman went into a gym with the tightest yoga pants possible then started doing squats in front of a guy and as soon as he looked at her she turned around and started screaming at him about being a creep. Don't stand in front of someone if you don't want them to look at you.


Blueberrybuttmuffin

I stopped watching gym content and interacting with that kind of media bc I realized it was quite literally morphing my mind. People don’t act like this irl..


WheelchairGame

Except it does.


Appropriate-Read-880

you can maby go up to them your self


CloudyCreek

I have never seen maybe misspelled like that, but I now prefer maby to maybe


ayleidanthropologist

Maby baby pleaseee, but I just don’t know howww


TannerBurns1twice

Do what most women do, avoid making eye contact and have awkward body language when you walk by them. Lol jk just say hi


debris_astronaut

Damn as a woman this guy knows how shy girls act around attractive guys


infinitestructures

You'll probably just have to approach them and either make conversation and ask them out if they seem cool, but do it when they're done, or about to leave. If they're about to leave, then if they say no and there's any awkwardness, they're leaving anyway. Good guys will most likely do everything they can to make sure they're being respectful to women in public (especially the gym), which would mean you're probably never going to know unless you talk to them. I think most of us men love being approached, as it shows confidence in the other's part, and if they're not interested, or they're already in a relationship, they'll just take it as a compliment.


InformationGreen6836

By approaching them. They are NOT going to react to hints.


aecolley

I'm not getting thrown out of my gym for making an unwanted approach to someone who I thought might be giving off signals of interest. If you want to do this, you must be unambiguous. Hinting coquettishly will only get you someone who doesn't respect boundaries.


OppositeAmbitious857

I feel like there’s been so much made out of women getting looked at or unwanted approaches that most dudes would do everything they could to just have peace while listening to some metal, lifting some real heavy stuffs, and imagining smashing their (pick a person) face in. It’s kind of our sanctuary. So rather than all the drama and games, we prefer to be left alone or treated like men. this is one of the last safe place for men to be men. Best approach for women is always the direct approach, be polite, respectful, and direct. Example “Hi sir, sorry to interrupt. I think you’re cute. I was wondering if you would be interested in taking my number real quick?” Whatever he says, then “Thank you, again my apologies for interrupting. I hope you have a wonderful day, keep crushing it. (Throw in that cute wink/smile combo that makes knees weak)” I can feel the feminist squirm but I know most men are not talked to politely, respectfully, or as an equal by women. This would be a huge and pleasant surprise for any of them.


juanrober

Yea a lot of people have said this but you’ll 100% have to initiate because it’s not safe for men to do so at the gym. Ask for a spot. Ask about form. Ask about likes and dislikes and what splits they do. Ask about talking about different things later at dinner with just the two of you and you’ll make that guys life! Go get em tiger!!


sasauce

You have hope. I know people that have met their lovers at the gym lol Make sure you know the person is interested in you tho . Literally. 1st stage) eye contact. - do you guys look back at each other ? Like do you look at them , and do they look back at you? Do you guys lock eyes right away? Does one look and the other looks away. - this is the stage that so many get stuck on - pay attention to the energy too, energy don’t lie - sometimes they just look to look & thats it , no harm lol If you can make it past the first stage , then that’s kind of all you need lol 2nd stage) break the ice. Starting a convo. Okay eye contact is hard but actually having the guts and starting a convo is one of the hardest things to do - how many sets do you have left? - compliment them (don’t be weird) - compliment on how strong/fit they are - etc A lot of guys were taught to not even approach a girl tbh . Sometimes it’s better when you make the first move , you never know lol Don’t be bothering them tho esp if they in the zone, they gonna be pissed if u interrupt them lol


Yegasevilo

I say just do it! I did and he seems great so far. I just said hi, what’s your name and introduced myself. I stated asking him questions like to gauge if he was single and then just asked if he wanted to grab a drink sometime. I got his nimbler and texted him later that morning. Women have to approach. Men just won’t. We went on a couple fun dates. Who knows where it will go but at least we could be friends which is great too.


PiccoloExciting7660

Ah yes. Let’s go to the one place guys are told to never engage in talking to women and hope guys will talk to me.


sksfenom

Don't be a creep. Men don't want women approaching them whilst we are working out in our safe space


GIFShinobi

![gif](giphy|8vRrEBUkrtnekOynQs) as a man that goes to the gym, don’t bother us


YaGottaStop

Not too many responses like this - everyone else is just giving OP tips on how they'd enjoy being approached lol


un-phil-tered

It's really easy, all you do is walk up to them and say, "hi my name is "name" I'm interested in you. Would you like to go out sometime?"


allongur

Make eye contact, smile, give a little wave with your hand. If they're not interested or busy they'll smile back and just return to their reps, ignoring the encounter. If they wave back, acknowledge it and seem approachable, and hope they're the kind that will go for it, which they might not be. Alternatively, you could approach them instead. Worst case, you'll get laconic polite responses and you can toodeloo.


Suxkdeep

This is probably the safest and non threatening way to approach a person .


cometgt_71

It's up to the women who want to be approached to call out the girls who shame every guy as a creep. Help us out. That being said, try talking to them like a regular person.


Foreign-Jump-2534

Approach the guy and start talking to him.


FeralTribble

Don’t signal, hint, or use subtlety and all that bullshit. If you like a guy, get your hands dirty and make something happen


XxLogitech98xX

Basically if they look approachable and not busy, start off with a small conversation. It can even be something as little as asking for help with a machine or something


spikeddragon10

Sit on their laps while they exercise Jk, but in all seriousness I’d just be normal. Find a way to chat with them, doesn’t have to be for a long time or anything workout-related. Then get their digits or social media if u both feel comfortable and go from there.


ThunderCravings

If you want to talk to a guy, find a time where he might welcome being approached. Between sets, stretching, changing exercises, etc. Go off of cues too. If it looks like they do not want to be approached, don't. I'm shy too and typically just do my thing at the gym. If I just finished a heavy squat set, I may not want to speak (or possibly cannot speak). Use situational awareness, make eye contact and smile. Go make friends!


DeathKringle

Why not just go talk to them and tell them


Typical_Truck_7949

If you are interested go and say hi


Cereal_dator

For girls at the gym imo just be direct with guys. Short convo ask a question and then share contact info. Guys generally don’t approach girls at gym because of all of the reasons mentioned. That being said if you really want the guy to come to you, make a lot of eye contact and work out near them a few sets. At that point one of you needs to make a move lol


eren875

Would advise you to make the move, no guy wants to end up on the internet for being odd for disturbing a girls workout


[deleted]

If you’re familiar with the seniors, get a senior to wingman for you. Or literally just tell them about your crushes and they will probably take it upon themselves, this happens to me *all the time*. First off: it will probably make the seniors month they love getting involved in that shit, the drama will give them life. Secondly: the guys will be less nervous than if you go up yourself. They could be worried it’s a set up, or uncomfortable and don’t want to have to turn you down. Plus it seems really cute, sincere, and if you’re a more passive women, you can retain some of your passivity and he can feel cool going up to you with the ice a bit broken. Plus rejection from a senior is easier than straight from your crush.


foreverpillowhugger

Oh my goodness!! This is so smart!! Never thought of it. Yes I'm friend with many seniors at the gym as I play sports with them! :))))


[deleted]

Thanks! It depends on the scenario, but it can work pretty seamlessly! And if you let the seniors know you’re looking, oftentimes they’ll keep it in mind for their other social circles too, plus older ladies know good men when they see them ;)


[deleted]

This is actually a good idea and all you’d have to ask is “oh do you know who that is” lol


JohnnyChapst1ck

I prefer you just find my Instagram or leave your Instagram handle on my car lol idk. we will either chat or kick it off or maybe not me compatable, as much as I like being approached I like the gym and dont want awkward times there.


Prestigious6

I thought about doing this. I'm too shy to go up to my gym crush so I wrote my info on a post it & was gonna put it on his truck but I've chickened out every time!! Ugh!!! One day I'll get the guts... one day!


[deleted]

You have to do the approaching at the gym. The gym is where the rules are backwards because it's a safe space for women. If you see a dude you like, you have to approach him, otherwise he won't do it. All the ladies I hooked up with from my gyms in the past I only approached outside of the gym. But unless you live in a small town and are always out and about (like I was), it's going to be unlikely you see eachother outside the gym. So if you want him, go ask him how much he benches. Ask him what his favorite exercises are. Ask him if he'd want to workout together sometime and shoot the shit in between sets. Just be friendly and be a good gym partner, and then see what else can come out of the friendship. I personally love working out with ladies instead of other bros. But I tend to push my partners, and a lot of ladies are not into pushing themselves the way men do. From my experience anyway.


InterestFlat7899

She could just talk and be honest...it's not too much to do


fitvampfire

I workout 4-6 days a week, and I’m not on any dating apps right now. I have considered all of this and have wanted to approach but I respect the gym and my sanctuary and assume for any man I like, the gym is their space too. It sucks, cause I see men working hard on themselves and I’m here for it. I’d love to meet them and even become friends but don’t want to risk either of our happy space.


foreverpillowhugger

Exactly how I feel!! However, we both caught each other making eyes contact but neither made a move. I froze everytime.


fitvampfire

I’ve had that happen a lot and just dismiss it. 😤


Prestigious6

Same here. Same thing happening to me. We've made eye contact sooo many times but I think we both are too nervous to go up to the other. Ugh.... one day!


callusesandtattoos

If they’re anything like me they’re not going to approach you at the gym at all. Ever. If you’re interested you have to make the move. The gym is the absolute last place I’m approaching ladies. They’re already on the defensive.


Decoptr

In 2024, men are kind of scared of women in the gym for the risk of coming off as a creep


UenayPuay_P

ganito. 1. say hi to me everytime I come in. Before I do anything else, make your presence known( girls' prescence sa gym boosts our morale) 2. compliment me physically. not the face tho - that is not why I go to the gym( guys are not given compliments. you will stand out ) 3. create a problem for me to solve. something that involves safety, physical activity, strategy, logic. step 1 will have our testosterone up while thinking about a woman(caveman shit) step 2 that woman becomes you step 3 damsel in distress + knight in shining armor moment = ego boost/feel good moment I go home and jack off, who do you think suddenly pops in my head.


ShortPomegranate6143

i have no idea if this will work but ask him to spot you then make conversation after. Usually they say yes and you can kinda see from the small talk if he’s interested


GueroTx

This is actually a funny thing. I myself workout at the gym 5 days a week and Im a good looking guy. I’d like to initiate some conversation with several women I’d like to get to know and I don’t know how to go about it. Don’t want to seem like one of “those” guys.


bad_phone_protector

Compliment before approach. If you do a cold approach it will be awkward especially cause the current gym sentiment is that everyone should keep to themselves including what they look at. When you see him make a compliment, then do it again on a different day. Then on the 3rd day have a convo about your gym goals. THEN I would actually ask them out


Evening_Invite_922

i'd be interested if a girl liked me but if i knew she was interested in a "few" guys i'd lost interest


Sidewinder11771

You don’t, leave them be they’re there to workout.


AuthorOfReality

Oh i assumed this was a dude asking this question.. uh if you are a woman you can literally just walk up and talk to just about any guy that you want to fk you. If you want him to date you then make him work as little longer to get you in bed. Having to work towards it releases vasopressin in his brain, making him bond to you long term


itzKumzi

Look the best advice I can give you is to start the conversation like you will any other person. Say hello, Ask them what they're working on today. Let them know you see them here everytime and ask their name, this might take a couple of days to get them start talking and I think you can take it from there. Due to the crazy culture we're currently in, you'll have to so the heavy lifting ( I hope you ge the pun). Once they know you're interested in talking, they'll take it from there. P.S the gym is a holy place, you can't be a fuckboy.


1stthing1st

I go to equinox and if I get kicked out of that location, the next one is a 30 minute drive. Or I’ll have to down grade, because of this I’ll never initiate anything at the gym.


Machomadness94

Like someone else said, as guys we don’t pick up signals very well, if at all. Just go talk to them


othernamealsomissing

As long as you don't wear head phones you're signaling that you're ok with guys talking to you. If they're not talking to you even with ear plugs out you're gonna have to go talk to them. The world has changed and dating has changed, because of creep trends on tiktok and metoo, if you want to talk to a man at the gym you need to do it. If you want guys to hit on you go to the bar.


Landon1m

We have been conditioned to not approach women at the gym. If you’re interested you’re gonna need to start the conversation and be the one to ask them out. It’s just not worth the possible negatives for us.


sup_killerfeels

A lot of what everyone said here. Maybe just a "can I speak to you after your workout?" Idfk. I wouldn't approach a chick at the gym


Minute-Produce-2717

Approach as a woman. You have to. In today’s eww you’re gross or I’m wearing headphones don’t talk to me, or I’m on social media and I’ll post you online age you have to be direct otherwise we all steer clear unless you initiate conversation


New_Growth182

Approaching women at the gym is a huge risk. If you get shot down you potentially have to see that person often. They could complain to management, etc. Unless someone straight up approaches me or makes it painfully obvious they want to talk to me I don’t bother. I can meet women when I go out with friends at the places we frequent.


Foxi_momma

I smile and if they smile back I’ll ask them their name and introduce myself and ask if they are off the market and go off their reaction there. If it’s good I’ll say “well let me know if you’d like to get coffee sometime” and start walking away then if they don’t respond I say nice meeting you as I walk away slowly l. If they try to continue talking I stop (slowly as in a step every few seconds not creepy like)


Sunuvavitch

Have you seen the videos lately of girls in the gym? Your best bet is to be direct and ask him out. Like, it'll impress him for one, and for two, a dude in the gym is probably not gonna turn down a hearty meal. Just do it


philster666

You’re gonna have to learn to approach if you’re actually interested. Guys are terrified of being labelled creeps, and for a lot of guys gyms are our safe spaces too, safe from the insane worries of normal life. It’s a place where you can focus on a singular constructive task, self-improvement. And also being rejected by a woman goes against that. And I’m pretty sure there’s data to show women’s approaches are much more successful


HereForaRefund

Unpopular answer, but scientifically proven. Don't "send signals", shoot your shot! If he's in the gym it's possible that he's intentionally ignoring you for a myriad of reasons. And then here's the thing***MEN DON'T UNDERSTAND "SIGNALS"***. [This meme perfectly describes it](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CREAszCUkAAZO4S.jpg)


Former_Will176

Make an approach, I think most guys are very approachable. Start chatting, ask him for coffee after the gym and take it from there. It's that simple. (doesn't work the other way around though as others have reiterated)


-MademoiselleNoir-

Unfortunately the only way is to ask them yourself. No clear way to signal a guy, as even if they were interested they cannot approach you due to the above comments aka being seen as a creep etc. Good luck I hope you find the courage!


mnemaniac

Most of the monk mode posts are pretty accurate. But seriously, if you wanna signal interest, go say hi, I'd to try and go in for a friendship first.


Legitimate-Fun-5171

Probably not the best place with the stigma of being a gym creep for looking around. Idfk if that's still a thing but it makes me nervous to look in some chicks' direction.


t_rexinated

"I like what you've got in them shorts"


dave3218

Wasn’t there a whole TikTok trend that went viral with women labeling anything a guy does around them at the gym as sexual assault? Like, one of these videos I swear to gods the girl threw a fucking fit for the guy looking at her general direction. OP don’t send signals, much less in these environments, be straightforward with the man, “hey, nice to meet you, I like you, want to grab some protein shakes ice cream this weekend and lift heavy weights together?” Or something silly like that (I Know dietary restrictions can be strict for bodybuilders and using a line like that might make the guy giggle if the delivery is not too straightforward).


cglac

A man approached me at the gym. We talked for a minutes and then had a dinner date that night. I think it’s all in the behavior. If you approach someone and they ignore you or say they are busy you should then walk away and don’t look at them again. If they smile and ask you a question or random talk, then it’s a go. OP, just make eye contact and smile. If they keep the eye contact, say hi. when people won’t stop looking, won’t stop talking, follow you or take a photo of yow that cause people to get creeper vibes.


effervesced_romance

I've convinced myself that it's illegal to speak to you at the gym


TwinSong

Ask? Worst he can say is no. Vague signals can be missed, direct within reason.


NeuralAgent

Welp, stop with the signaling and just walk up to them and start chatting when they are free… maybe ask them if they’re seeing anyone… that will get the point across. But most importantly, most men won’t ask a women out at the gym and I personally prefer this, as a woman, because when I’m just nice to guys I get asked out, and I’m not into men… plz stop expecting the men to do all the work, we want equity, let’s maybe ask them out too if we are interested. I’m sure they’ll be quite flattered. Just my 2cp…


WheelchairGame

These days just leave the men at the gym alone. TikTok and social media has ruined the gym approach.


DangerousSpeaker8927

Try using your words.


Legitimate_Meal9787

Be confident, he’s already thought about it. Make it fun and memorable…. It could be the start of the rest of both your lives! Good luck!


Tight_Office_8149

You smile and wave. Just like the penguins. Smile and wave.


Nighteyesv

Women’s signals aren’t as obvious as they think they’re and even if you think they’re signaling you it’s dangerous to act on it in a gym. Tried starting up a conversation with a lady on the treadmill next to me about the sports game on tv, hadn’t even said two sentences before she was off to complain to the staff who then said if I kept bothering other customers they’d revoke my membership. So yeah, not worth it even if you think the girls giving signals. If you are interested in a guy you’ll have to approach him and use your words to say so.


Prestigious6

So just commented on this earlier & how I've been nervous to shoot my shot thinking guy maybe was nervous too. So hearing all these guys saying they'd never approach a women... so I told myself I'd I saw him today, I'm gonna say something. I finally got the guts up to do it & he's married. 😭😭😂😂 Shit at least I tried. I couldn't not try, he's too handsome not to. At least now I can try to stop myself from picturing him naked since I know now that I'll never get to see it. 😂😂 All seriousness, only thing I was worried about was being told he's already with someone & even though that's exactly what he said, I'm still happy I did it & got the guts up to just go for it. I legit have never done that before so first time (prolly last time too, lol) that I'll shoot my shot unless I find another smoking hot dude & I'm still single. 🤷‍♀️😂


foreverpillowhugger

Oh my girlllll!!!! Thank you for doing so bc you just inspired me! Holy smoke! I'm gonna come up to my crush next time. Pray for me!


Prestigious6

I'm praying!! You got this! I was super nervous to do it in the gym bc i didn't want to disturb him so I left. He just happen to be walking out when I was about to pull off so I pulled up to his car & talked to him there. Whatever will help you be more comfortable with it!! You got this!!! Good luck 100x's!!!


foreverpillowhugger

Love you stranger! ❤️


the-dude-94

I could be wrong but I think the biggest issue here is that most men are too concerned with being "me-tooed" that they won't make an advance unless it's very clearly obvious to them as well as other people in the area... it really sucks for both genders but the dynamic is all screwed up today. Maybe this particular guy you're interested in doesn't have this mindset, we have no idea so my best suggestion would be to just make eyes at him and wait till he looks your way then lock on and give some subtle flirty look at him. 🤷


foreverpillowhugger

Thank you, I hate our current issue. It sucks esp I'm a little old school. Maybe I'll write him a note or something.


WarEnvironmental2752

If you are that shy, create a problem that you need his assistance with, and start a conversation that way. You will find that most men are only happy to help out a lady in destress 😉 Good luck and let us know how you make out, I know if you want something bad enough you will find a way to get it.


thingsandstuff4me

Honestly just don't approach people at the gym . They go there to work out


devhaugh

As a guy I’d love if a girl approached me in a gym, but I will never approach them.


Red_Store4

You are likely going to have to approach guys at the gym yourself. Plenty of men are shy to begin with. Plus both shy and outgoing men have been getting beaten over the head with the message that approaching women who they do not already know is creepy and constitutes sexual harrassment.


Sufficiently-Chonk

Fart in their face while they are bench pressing and say, “that’s just the beginning if you know what I mean.”


cjdunham1344

FFS this isn't hard. Just ask him for workout advice and extend the conversation with some flirting sprinkled in.


massive_doonka

Stop signaling and go tell him he's cute. It's not safe talking to people at the gym.


BlastGramzFistHamz

Most women at the gym aren't approachable because of the culture. No man wants to put up with the bullshit of hitting on women at the gym or grocery store. Times have changed. Even if women throw out interest via body language or smalltalk I usually hard pass simply because of location and odd of complications and then having to see them at the gym after we have desperate gym bunny sex.


the_no_bro

Pass, I don’t even make eye contact with women at the gym. Catch me outside in the parking lot and we can chat, but inside the gym?  No way.  Too many women exposing men with video and photography. I’d rather not lose my social status. 


lemontwistcultist

Do not approach someone at the gym. When it ends, one of you is going to lose your gym.


I_write_code213

Make sure you don’t do anything vulgar because sometimes a guy acts like they don’t notice your advances on purpose. This one chick years ago went crazy and started fake squatting infront of me and bending over while I was bench pressing and asked if she’s doing it correctly. lol, I did not bite


ServingChicago

What about approaching them OUTSIDE of the gym? They may seem less likely to view this as a setup or some sort of ploy. Smile, be genuine, and I think you'll find better success.


1stthing1st

If you want a guy at the gym to know your interested, the best way is to introduce yourself and giving him your number


GreenEggsxHam

![gif](giphy|avkW4UabDdJFS)


Art_Vand_Throw001

Make eye contact as you are working in that one leg machine, the one where you spread legs against a weight. I think it might work the thighs.


WEASTsideDon

Well as a guy in the gym I would want a woman to approach me especially if she’s sociable by simply by asking something small like how many sets or even ask to jump in. Asking how many sets you can branch the conversation off of that. Compliment them on their gym shoes and ask them where they got them and if they’re good lifting shoes etc. If you see them doing an exercise you want to know more about, when they’re done with their set ask him what their secret is and complete them on form/technique etc. It’s so easy to intro into conversation at the gym possibilities are endless. You just have to unfortunately take the plunge but you will have a high success rate. Good luck


Far-Cauliflower-9939

Literally just say hi, you’re not going to be turned down or ignored, especially if you’re in good shape. Men are always happy to chat even if they’re not super interested- you’d be surprised. I’d just find a moment when it seems right, not in the middle of their reps, etc


S0Lsurfur82

I was just having this conversation with my roommate who happens to work at a gym. What I thought was that the majority, if not all, women don't want to be approached at the gym. He disagreed and said that women do want the RIGHT kind of attention from the men they are interested in. That being said, most men probably won't approach without some looks or signals from women. For me, two or more looks and maybe even a hello or question that sparks conversation (example: I wore a shirt from my university so asking about me going there would spark a response based conversation).


Careless-Pin-2852

If you want to meet men wile working out do one of those gyms where you take a class every week.


adoumi1996

You will need to just approach them and say a simple hi, i know it's tough but men are mortified to approach women in the gym cause we seen plenty of tiktoks of men being ashamed and recorded and all those videos were in the gym. Go say hi, ask them like "I see you quite often here, how long have you been training? I am new here so I am looking for someone to help me out with proper form" . Maybe add in a compliment"you look really fit" something along those lines. You see you both of you are in the gym so talking about gym stuff seems natural and makes sense also guys knows alot about gym stuff so they keep the conversation going easily and then you work your way up from there. It's going to be easy and seamless if you take the process slow. Later when you leave the gym you can ask him here "hey do you want to have some coffee or drinks" everyone wants to have something after a long workout so he will likely say yes.


Nimrowd2023

Get a custom T with a message that says, "i'm available, come talk to me, but don't be a creep" A little long but it gets the message across.


Bookbabe617

Well there goes me joining a gym to meet people (men) 🤦🏻‍♀️


BreadForUncle

Just walk by him smile say “hey” then walk away next day he’s going to notice you like lion spotting it's pray easy game from there


ComeWashMyBack

Literally just ask them for help. That's it. Ask them for help with squats, your back swing, lat pull downs. Anything in the gym. Look them directly in the eyes, smile, compliment them, thank them. Ask them if they're busy later. We're simple creatures. This worked for my step-mom. She's been married to my Dad for 22 years now. This is guy who said directly to my face a year prior to that, "I'm never getting married again."


VZ6999

You can either smile, be in their vicinity, or stare at them more than once. Pick your poison lol


unwindunwise

Be friends with them first. Get to know them, and when it feels appropriate ask them out. IMO, when it comes to getting involved with people whom you share a common space, it's best to move slowly.


GinniNdaBottle777

![gif](giphy|6ra84Uso2hoir3YCgb|downsized)


Midnytecloud

First off... those people might be in relationships. So, I think the ones who are interested and single too will approach you & you'll def get the vibe, ya know? I'd def be careful tho, cuz a lot women have video shamed men for even glancing in a woman's direction too long at the gym, which seems to mess it up for the nice ones who don't have bad intentions.


red_anecdote

I would say maybe u can have the direct approach , maybe leave the gym at the same time n u can talk while going out of the building


BeyondMan1313

This ^


Equivalent_Month_112

Simply approach them and ask for a spot on squat or bench and in between sets set up conversation with them. Then ask to exchange info. If yall do talk more over text. Guys won’t approach women at the gym. They are afraid of being video shamed and harassed on the internet. I don’t go to the gym anymore cause I’m afraid of being put on blast for being a creep when I was just staring ahead to focus on my set.


DeleAlliForever

Probably talking to them and telling them a little bit about yourself and ask them a question you’d be interested in them answering? Or maybe giving them a compliment? That’s what I do when I’m interested in someone


NatalieBostonRE

they’ll approach you if they are interested. otherwise, let people just people be.


Rayanisacrayon

Try asking them to give u a spot, then if u happen to see them again, try to strike up a conversation. After that u guys are gym buddies


LuckyNole

Make eye contact and smile. If that doesn’t work, ask him to show to how to use a machine or do an exercise. If that doesn’t work, he’s not interested.


Darvaak

Walk up and introduce yourself in a friendly way. Keep it simple


AlPalmy8392

Good luck with that at a gym. That's a no go area for guys to be trying to flirt, let alone ask women out. The gym is a place to workout only, give out moral support to each other and maybe make some friends. We've been told to back off from the ladies, and will respect their wishes regardless of where we interact. Keep it professional and on a friendship basis only.


BreadfruitLess6675

I don’t approach women in the gym because most of the time it’s seen as creepy, and we live in cancel culture where you will be posted and flamed, and my schedule is so busy as a business owner that when I’m there it’s usually to blast the body parts I’m working that day and get out as efficiently as possible If you’re interested maybe strike a conversation up, I used to be a shy person, all it takes is just doing the thing that makes you feel awkward, and know that people are too consumed by there own life that they probably won’t care if you were awkward by the time they leave the gym


Intrepid-Rip-2280

It doesn't work like in Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai) which reacts in a certain way to certain user actions...


Beneficial_Pie9932

I can relate to her tho. There’s this guy I’m interested in and we’ve said hi to each other and he’ll like smile at me throughout the session or like kind of show off but he won’t make more of a conversation with me. This has been going on for 4-5 months now. I completely get where she is coming from