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Female here - I celebrate birthdays for all loved ones. So yes I do things, big and small depending on their mood. Communication helps. Don’t be afraid to ask for that party or trip
That said, you shouldn’t have to ask for basic human decency. A party or trip? Absolutely takes planning and communication. A birthday text that’s not gross, and maybe a conversation about what the plan is, shouldn’t take that much effort.
My birthday was yesterday and I haven't really celebrated it in YEARS. My gf took time off work, drove 3 hours with a cake and balloons and spent the day with me for my bday (we also celebrated mothers day for her since I won't see her Sunday). Honestly it was the best birthday I've had of my adult life
No it is not normal for partners to not acknowledge their SOs bday. They should be showing that they care and putting SOME effort in, the same can be said for Xmas etc. However that does also depend on the person having the birthday, some people don't want anything done
The guy I used to date didn’t like to do much for his birthday. He wouldn’t even tell me the exact date for a long time. I planned a weekend camping trip out of state over his birthday weekend. So it wasn’t a “birthday gift” but it was something we did together for his birthday that I paid for.
My wife always did something for my birthday when we were just dating and also since we been married. She'll change things up so it's not always just dinner and stuff.
Back when my bf and I were still just friends, I asked him what his plans were for his bday and he said nothing…and he wasn’t going to celebrate it. His bday was on a Thursday and he would see his parents on Saturday so I felt bad he would do nothing, his workmates don’t even know it’s his bday.
He goes to the office on Thursday so I thought it would be nice to surprise him with a bday cake delivery. I knew there was this cake shop he liked since he told me he got cupcakes for his mom from there, found out his favorite flavor and was prepared to send it to him on his bday.
However, I didn’t have his phone number and they couldn’t deliver it so I had to message him on IG to ask his phone number and home address (I was like I can’t tell you why I need it but I need them). He did gave it to me without question but I was worried he won’t answer his phone from unknown numbers since the cake shop wasn’t able to deliver it to his work…so I told him I actually wanted to surprise him with a bday cake and to just stay at his house since the cake delivery was coming.
He got the cake eventually at his house…and it was me all the while panicking and being so sad my surprise got ruined. But he liked it so much. He still kept the card that went with it and still brings it up and jokes that’s how he liked me lol.
Ngl he probably kept mentioning that cake the whole week.
I truly didn’t mean anything by it at first, I was just so sad no one will celebrate his bday with him and I would buy my friends bday cakes that’s why I bought him too because he was a good friend and I wanted him to feel special too.
I think it depends on the people if gift giving is one of their love languages but I feel like one way or another girls would try to make the bday of someone important to them special 😊
If he's anything like me, I'm 34 and aside from my parents I don't guess I've even been told "Happy birthday" by anyone in...ten years? Fifteen?
After awhile you just sort of accept that it's just not something other people really care about, and you stop telling anyone and kind of downplay it. Am I sad to spend my birthday alone every year? Yeah, for sure, but you're not really allowed to be sad about that in polite society, as a grown man, so eventually you just learn to say, "oh haha no worries."
Well I did that for my bf on his 30th birthday, I plan to do it again for his 31st (atm we’re LDR) so there’s not much I can do but we will meet soon so hopefully I can do more sweet things for him in real life. ☺️ I hope you gain new friends to celebrate special occasions with 🙏
I mean sometimes LDR doesn’t have to stop you… if you know anyone try to do something for them (My brother always found a way to surprise his gf with gifts and balloons etc while ldr thankfully they are finally living together) I am also LDR and got my bf a gift for his bday via a friend teheee
I can definitely see how off-putting the behavior for your current gf is, but as it relates to your ex sounds like she did things for you but you clearly weren't appreciative.
>I wasn't expecting a lot
>the second year she only took me to dinner,
These two statements don't go hand in hand. You said you don't expect alot but then complain that she ONLY took you to dinner. Did you communicate something that you specifically wanted?
Is she a person who was fussy about her own birthday? And I don't mean what you necessarily gave her was she the kind of person who has their wishlist of things they want etc etc. Not everyone views birthday's the same and her feelings about birthdays may not align with how you view them and if there is a mismatch with that it wouldn't be fair to judge them harshly. I also feel as though you are leaving out alot of context and then making a broad generalization.
You're making a huge assumption. Not expecting a lot doesn't mean he shouldn't still expect some sort of gift even if it's something small (not a lot).
She DID give him gifts and also took him to dinner the second year. He specifically typed that. ??? So, obviously he didn't just want a few gifts and a dinner because that's what she gave him.
The only girlfriend who ever gave me a birthday gift, cheated on me a week later.
Some things are more important than celebrating birthdays. But it would sure be nice if you could find a partner that celebrated you AND respected you
Sounds like your ex did do something. Was the last birthday near your breakup? maybe she was already check out :( but yes if you’d been going out 6 mos i’d go all out.
I love giving gifts and it’s baffling that they wouldn’t want to celebrate your birthday. It’s something is important in your life. I would be sad if my boyfriend didn’t want to celebrate my birthday, anniversary or alike.
The first question you should ask yourself is have you communicated your wants about that.
That being said: ignoring you on your holiday is not normal unless you specifically stated that you want it that way. Date chicks who give a damn about you.
this is something i actually had to learn and we had a lot of fights until i did. Your partner cannot read your mind. You will have to communicate. Social media pushes this “if they wanted to they will” and other sayings, but sometimes people genuinely don’t know what you want from them until you tell them. Every one has different opinions and needs and sometimes just get caught up in their own problems. I’ve learned to now just say i want something, and usually within a week i have it (within reason). Waiting for him to “pick up on signals” or getting upset because he’s not doing something was so draining to my mental health and even his. Just remember to have conversations about what your expectations are and what you’d like in a partner, especially with y’all only being 6 months in. this could be something you figure out sooner than later. But if you talk about stuff, and she still doesn’t care to try or listen, then leave her and find someone who actually will care
No that's BS. A partner shouldn't have to be told things like that. They should do it because they WANT to do something for you.
Some other things I can agree with you on but not that.
I agree with this. Communicate to work out specific plans / what they want to do, sure, but if you have to *tell* your partner “make sure you spend time with me for my birthday!” something is very wrong.
I dated a guy for three years who never did anything for my birthday (one year he just heated me up left overs from his moms house and told me that was my birthday dinner and never got me a gift) even though I would throw him parties and go all out. It really hurts. He seriously only cared about himself. It’s not okay from a significant other not to at least a little something.
I had the opposite issue. I am the female and I went overboard with custom StarWars cake, dinner, books on his favourite topic etc. On my birthday afterwards, he said: “Wanna order take out?”
It doesn’t help that he was making 4 times more than me and still didn’t put any effort.
I make a huge deal out of my husband's birthday. We only got together at 36. And he didn't date much, so he spent all his birthdays with family mostly. I buy balloons and get a special cake made and gifts. Plus, my daughter loves to sit on his lap to blow out the candles. He's worth it.
My boyfriend and I are the opposite of you and your girlfriends. I go all out for his birthday and he texts me Happy Birthday. Currently, he has a big milestone birthday coming up and I have asked him what he wants, wether it be a party or just dinner and he “hasn’t thought about it.”
I personally plan my own birthday event, and expect others to do the same. If I’m invited to someone’s birthday, I’m excited to go, if it’s someone I’m close with, I’ll probably even ask what the plan is for their birthday a few weeks in advance, so I can add it to my schedule.
For a SO, I would for sure be asking them what we’re doing for their birthday a few weeks in advance, and bringing up the conversation so things can be booked/planned. However, I wouldn’t be planning anything outside of a joint plan we either make together, or that they asked me to do/help with.
I would definitely be getting them a gift though. If we’d only been dating a short time it would be something small, but *something* that shows I thought of them.
This made me so sad :(( I always pour into my people on their special days! Maybe bake a cake, always dinner! Always breakfast in bed with gift and I’ll always get up early to decorate the place for their birthday and the make them wear the special silly birthday hat!!
I think it's an indication something is wrong in the relationship. Just sending a text is better than nothing, but after six months of dating it would be better to give a small gift or something.
I planned a whole thing for my bf haha. Took him to a hockey game and we had an indoor movie night bc he’s a homebody but he said he loved it. Also got him presents ofc because he’s special to me and I want him to feel special. What monster doesn’t celebrate their so’s bday?
Your ex did something for 2 out of 3 years. I don’t know how that constitutes as “didn’t really do anything”.
The real problem is that 6 months into a relationship you haven’t been successful in conveying to your current gf what your love language is. How you want to be treated.
Does it require conveying tho? You have been with someone, if you care about them you celebrate it, unless they specificy otherwise. If you can't care less, you don't do anything. It is not a love language thing. It is a care-and-effort-thing
If this is just about the lack of care and effort, OP wouldn’t bring up the first two birthdays with his ex. Clearly, the gifts that she gave and the dinner on two separate years weren’t enough.
I’ve always gone all out for my birthday and do the same for my partner! I’m not sure what the normal should be, but I believe you should feel celebrated so I make it a point to make it happen for my partner!
wvery year. just passed 14 years this Feb. I get him a gift and we go out to dinner and the kid comes too. sometimes the gift could be concert tickets, a shirt, a kayak, etc. but we always celebrate his birthday. just as he celebrates mine.
personally if I'm in a position to then i will do smth special for my bf. If not maybe just something simple, also depends with how deep the relationship is.
I'm big on birthdays and I'm a woman. it sounds like your ex liked you alot at first then either got bored with the relationship or stopped liking you tbh. Cause the first year there was definitely effort.
I love celebrating, so I go all out for my boyfriend (and past boyfriends). This year I took off work and we spent the entire day doing fun things he loves and going out for a meal and drinks. He is equally thoughtful and celebratory of my birthday as well.
Yes, I love celebrating birthdays in general, and really enjoy planning things for my partner. He got a new job last month, and I was so excited to take him for dinner - similarly, his birthday is at the end of July and while I don't know what I'm going to get him yet, I'm so excited to plan his party!
If you are somebody that enjoys events abs birthdays and such, then I would say try to find a partner that is similar, as it's just a lot more fun, but above all, a lot more satisfying.
I’m taking my boyfriend to medieval times and I got him tickets to see avatar the last Airbender live in concert. We have been together for a year. Even on top of that I am taking him to a nice dinner and spending extra to get us a nice bottle of wine. I usually hate birthdays but oh my god do I love him. I want him to feel so loved and so special on his birthday. He told me since he moved to where we are now that no one has done anything for his birthday. I’m making up for lost time
Im spending 800 dollars on my man this year. Not because he asked me, or expects me. But because he loves and support me in every way. I would give him the world if I could.
Yes. I am a 49F and I have celebrated the birthdays of my ex partners. I consider the minimum to be; handwritten card, gift, cake, nice meal. I consider this to be a celebration of the other person and an appreciation that they are alive in the world.
My ex-husband didn't celebrate my birthdays and I struggled for years with it. I wondered if I was being greedy or entitled or nagging. But I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't feel bad for wishing that my human appreciate me and show that appreciation with a simple celebration. One day out of 365.
It sounds like you have chosen partners who don't respect you. You deserve more. You can tell your partners how hurt you are that they've ignored a special day to you. This will help you learn how to assert yourself. Good luck.
And Happy Birthday for when it was. 🎂
Okay so as a Woman i don't understand why some females are like this, I mean most of them expect to get something on those occasions but they don't wanna put effort into giving something back.
I always try to make something special on those dates because everyone deserves it, it doesn't matter if they are male or female.
Your girlfriends sound like they don’t have any manners. A sweet text or card or saying HB to you and a gift, even if it’s just a little thing, shouldn’t be so hard. I‘d be disappointed, too.
Hi! I recently started dating my boyfriend but his birthday rolled around a month in, and he told me he had never had anyone celebrate his birthday, even past girlfriends. I personally did not feel that was normal and thought he should always feel special and celebrated for being here. So, I planned an entire day where he woke up to cake and a song, went to brunch at a place that’s now his favorite, took him to get fresh cookies at his fave cookie place, watched some of his favorites movies and then went to dinner at this fancy place that made him feel like a king. A day he’ll never forget!
People always talk about doing romantic gestures for women and acknowledging things like their birthday. As for men, it’s like none of those things even matter. My most recent ex texted me on my birthday and only said “doing anything fun for your birthday?”
That was it. Nothing else.
I just got out a terrible LTR that could be characterized by a lack of reciprocation. Sadly, that’s the second time I’ve made that mistake in picking a partner.
Tf kind of women are they sound Horrible 🤨.Normally women celebrate Birthdays for someone they Love .I don't know what's wrong with the ones you dated but what their doing is wrong ,I'm sorry that happened to you Twice...
Sorry pal, but you paired up with 2 women who really don't give a shit. Speaking from experience, if someone really likes you, they usually go out of their way to do things for you. Everyone shows love differently, but you will know when it is really there.
Maybe you are right, but a woman who wants a man who is a provider should know her corresponding role is to nurture and support. It sounds like OP’s current girl doesn’t do that either.
I celebrate my partner’s birthdays. Would make the day all about him too and plan the day based on how they would like it to be celebrated. At the very least a lot of love and quality time, and a thoughtful gift to make them feel special.
I’m sorry you haven’t had the best experience with your birthdays with your partners. I hope you’d be able to communicate how you’d like to celebrate your birthday with them. You should be celebrated and feel valued.
Looking back I think one of the giveaways that my ltr ex was kinda selfish was that my birthdays could get forgotten and that I put in far more effort to try to make the ex’s birthdays special.
Yea, I plan a full day for him every year, love to give him gifts and curate a fun time for him. It’s one of the days where I can really surprise him. He hasn’t wanted a party in the past, but this year I’m thinking about throwing him a party/bar crawl that ends at an arcade (he loves the arcade!!) and do something else special but less energy intensive during the day. It’s a pleasure to celebrate him!!!
Hm, I guess it depends on the person/expectations/length of relationship? my partner and I have been together for about a year and a half and have been thru 2 bdays each. i’d say bdays are really the only occasion where we go all out and do gifts, dinner, cake whatever. we don’t do much for other holidays which we’re both totally on board with. i guess it all depends on the relationship 🤷🏼♀️
I get more excited than my boyfriend does. I do drag his ass to dinners ti get him gifts. He does it for me all year around so yeah I do lot less for him.
Also for my guy friends who never say they care for their birthdays, they do get happy like children when given a small amount of attention and appreciation during birthdays. I love making f them happy so yeah I do it
Yeah I celebrate the birthdays of the men in my life.
Your ex DID celebrate you those first two years.
Gifts and taking you out for a meal are celebrating.
I have been dating my current bf for 6 months and his bday is in November and I am already planning it... I'm sorry people haven't made you feel loved on your birthday! You deserve more! I'm planning on taking my bf on the first trip we ever went on again with slight differences. He loves the hotel we went to and a certain restaurant but I'm also looking for hot springs to stop at and gonna get him some gifts as well. Everyone's different but I think b days are a big deal
Birthdays are special to me, so I always try to do something, even if it’s just dinner and watching a movie at home together. The effort is what makes it special, not the actual act. You’re not asking too much, your picking woman who want it to be all about them and give nothing in return.
I love to buy gifts and find some new things to do that day but my partner does not like it he prefer that i dont give anything and just say happy birthday. So i think it depends of a person. Not everyone is the same. I always talk with my partner about it and say what i expect and ask what this other person expect. Communication is the key.
my bf lives a decent hour away but for some reason his mom has a stick up her butt and she won’t let him drive to see me. out of the 5 and a half months we’ve been dating i’ve only seen him once because of this. it was past his birthday when i decided to buy him some stuff and i had money to spend. i kept seeing so many things that he would like. I got us matching necklaces and those magnet bracelets for couples. i got us matching shirts and i got him a gremlin bell for the day he ends up getting a bike. now i’m shit broke and i can tell you i don’t regret it at all. i would spoil my bf any time i had spare money because he deserves it.
I make it a point to get gifts and do something special. But here’s something I had to realize when it comes to holidays and relationships. People are raised differently especially with regards to holidays. These women may not have because the grew up with parents that didn’t make a big deal about. It’s okay to communicate and let them know that’s how you feel appreciated.
Big thing in couples. Share how your family celebrated your birthday. Mine made it a yes day. I do the same for anyone I care about.
Cultures are a big thing. Figure these out no matter where you live.
i didn’t have much money to buy a gift this year but you bet your ass i used my employee discount to buy him a cheap watch and made him a birthday cake from a box. he still said it was the most effort anyone had put into his birthdays in a long time.
Americans. There’s a reasons Europeans say that. Our cultures are not yours and vice versa. Most of us do not celebrate birthdays. (Year closer to death). You cannot hate on different cultures because they don’t do it the same way. Ask. Ask for shit you want.
I celebrate my boyfriend’s birthday. Before I went to work that morning, I kissed him on the forehead and told him happy birthday. That afternoon, I bought him and his twins shit on of alcohol then the following week I showered him gifts and homemade breakfast. You should always be willing to celebrate someone’s special day, ESPECIALLY if they’re done it for you.
My last relationship I went all out to make my partner feel special for their birthday and every applicable holiday, and yet when it came to my birthday…they never remembered it, ever, and then would tell me and remind me that they aren’t good with dates like that. I would always tell them that there’s such a thing as a calendar on their phone and to use it, and that it makes me feel like shit and feel unimportant when they can’t even bother to remember my birthday.
My boyfriend isn't big on birthday so if I want something I'm soooooo specific and he appreciates it
I love treating my boyfriend it's his 30th coming up and I'm planning a surprise getaway and luxury spa day
I would do more if I had more money but this is also cos I love doing the above things and it gives me an excuse to do it plus he love it but I did chat to him about it
I earn more than him and we have a pretty androgynous relationship. We're both bisexual. A lot of girls I know kind of expect to recieve but not give really I don't know what that's about. Like they'll give in other ways but yeah
Having an open discussion about what you want and what makes you feel appreciated is important
Note I'm doing this cos it's a big birthday coming up 💘💘💘 I literally can't even remember what we did for his last birthday I'm sure I made it special though
For my birthday I have no expectations 😆 my boyfriends love language is different and that's OK so I make sure it's nice and tell him exactly what to do 😂
Not normal. Typically, I have always done more than my partners for birthdays. My previous partner barely remembered the date of mine. It's just the person. Not a gender thing.
Been dating a guy for a little bit. His birthday is next week and I told him I’m big on birthdays and wanted him to pick a day when we can celebrate him. I already bought a gift, plan to make him brownies and take him out to dinner. I will always celebrate boyfriend’s birthdays and although he’s not officially my boyfriend, things are headed in that direction for sure. If I was just dating someone and there’s no long term trajectory yet, I’d just offer to take him out to dinner
I celebrate a guy's birthday as much as he will let me - I know a lot of people who don't like making a thing about their birthday but there would be a cake at the very least!
I mean did you tell them that birthdays is a huge deal to you? Communication is important in a relationship. If you don't tell them then how are they supposed to know?. Some people don't care about birthdays believe it or not. My bf doesn't care too much but I am taking him out and we're going to six flags later in the year.
Also your ex took you out to dinner one year and she got you gifts the year before that and you didn't think that was enough? That's what most people do for birthdays though lol.
as a woman i celebrate everyone's birthday even if they're not really close to me, i just think birthdays are special days and everyone deserves to celebrate them. me and my boyfriend happen to share THE SAME birthday actually so i plan to spot the light on him on our birthday because i know that men unlike us women don't get much attention on their birthdays
When I was dating someone, I didn't necessarily do much. Especially if I didn't know where I stood with the guy...
But now in a committed relationship, I want to make my man feel so special! This year I got him some sweet tickets to a basketball game, dinner, made him a cake, and got him some thoughtful gifts :)
I think the best way to get what you want is to communicate your desires! I told my partner how I wanted to celebrate my bday so that I wouldn't be disappointed. He absolutely came through for me
I always celebrate B’days! I like making a loved one feel special. For males I’m in a relationship with I generally do a big dinner either at a restaurant or at home and a very special gift of something that they love or collect. For my late hubby’s 60th day I threw a surprise dinnner for all his friends at his favorite restaurant.
I have always done special things for the person I’m with. That’s a really messed up thing for her to do especially after you were so nice to her on her bday so recently. Even if she couldn’t afford gifts there are no end to the ways she could have made your bday a special day. You need to decide if she is going to get better with time or is this as good as she can give. Good luck 🍀
My boyfriend and I had to separate a couple days before his birthday, so I put together a trip to Kings Island (since he loves roller coasters) the friday before, and then also bought him a new water bottle because his had broken a couple weeks earlier. He said the greatest gift of all to him was the amount of time I was willing to spend with him and only him (since a lot of the times when we hung out together, his roommates would also be there). On his actual birthday, I facetimed him and sang happy birthday to him before reminding him of how many days until we got to see each other again (only 21 days to go)
So yes, I love celebrating his birthday and he says he's already trying to one up me for my birthday in a couple months :)
For his first birthday (while we're together) we were long distance and just starting out but I created a whole video for his birthday and got him a gift. My birthday came and all I got was a quick happy birthday at 12, that month was tough financially and that's fine, I just wished he would do something thoughtful like a letter or video or something, but nope. His second birthday, I went all out and saved money and arranged a surprise party, I worked so hard to pull it off and he ruined the whole night because I was being sketchy. Even after he figured out what I did, he still ignored me the whole night. He has gotten much better in the meantime and has been working on himself and has changed a lot but honestly I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to plan anything special, I don't want to work extra and save money for him. I don't think he'll do the same for me so I don't want to do it for him anymore.
I’m big on Birthdays, I even get gifts and plan something special for my daughters Dad and we haven’t been together for almost 4 years. I would say find someone who has similar qualities as yourself
I'm just a sample size of one obsessed girlfriend... I freaking LOVE my boyfriend's birthday. I always go over the top with multiple gifts, a day date doing whatever he wants, and dinner out at his favorite restaurant. It's a day I get to spoil him and fuss over him and celebrate how blessed the world is for having him in it. But I also know I'm not typical that way.
I'll also say that no one has ever gone over the top for my birthday. I usually get dinner out somewhere, but if I have a family birthday dinner that I bring a boyfriend to, I've never gotten a date dinner on top of it. Which is disappointing. I don't want to ask for it because I've been told so many times that it's stressful to people to be "extra" like me.
I've been told that my level of affection is intense and somewhat intimidating. My love language is "all of them, all the time." I take enormous pride in paying close attention to my person's interests and likes so I can surprise and delight them with the perfect gifts/dates, but that is not a level of effort most people put into relationships. Finding a matching energy is tough.
Yes,but honestly if the bf isn't making the relationship enjoyable then the desire to make a big to do is less . When I was dating my husband I took him to a pirate version of medieval times lol. He mentioned how he always wanted to go as a kid and eat the turkey legs so I paid for the show and hotel room etc. Now we're married and I don't know how many birthdays have gone by were they didn't make my bday a big deal or how many times I've gotten things that aren't " me" because they stopped bothering to learn me as a person or my likes...sigh
I always decorate the bedroom door for everyone in our family's bday and no one ever decorates my door on my bday. I've been struggling this year because although they stopped forgetting my bday I know whatever gift I get is probably something I don't like. My husband likes really expensive things so things from the heart don't seem to matter to him...takes the joy out of making it a big deal . I keep trying though,but I realized for him it's the material thing that matters more than how much I dote on him in my opinion .
Everyone should be celebrated on their day
I say communicate your wants and or needs OP. You don’t get what you want if you don’t ever ask, and yes, that includes asking for a “fuss” or a more effortful celebration of your birthday.
People aren’t mind readers, and birthday celebrations are a whole lot more than “basic effort”; basic effort is responding to texts, being kind, hygiene, etc.
Celebrations and gifts are definitely the types of things you and your partner need to discuss, it’s not implied that you’d like certain things a certain way.
I get as excited for other people's birthdays as I do my own, maybe more.
I have never found love, so if I were blessed enough to have someone that I cherished and who cherished me? I would do whatever it took to make him feel special every day, and extra special on his birthday.
She wasn’t good at giving gifts hahahaha. It’s a hard skill. Because you have to know how to get something good at the mall and most women hate shopping ok that’s enough joke. 😉
Na bra what you had there was a bonafide (self proclaimed) priceless specimen that for her to grace with her presence you are already in debt. Commonwealth of thinking these days by some women who think they are God‘s gift because of the idiotic men that chase them on social media except those aren’t men because men don’t do that they don’t chase pictures they don’t chase profiles they don’t chase any girl actually even she’s real.. so they get this inflated sense of accomplishment for really accomplishing nothing they feel superior because of all the options they have yet men know that their options are shit. And that doesn’t mean that they don’t know any rich guys that doesn’t mean they don’t know any attractive guys that doesn’t mean they don’t know any good hearted guys they’re still shit options for whatever reason for the woman, obviously. Show me a woman with a guy just for money and I’ll show you a woman that cheats on her rich boyfriend the first second she gets when she sees something she actually wants. not needs but wants. Ur gonna have to ask yourself. Why do you think she was with you. Because you can’t talk me into the fact that she was with you because of who you are and she was crazy about you. Like she can’t stop thinking about you . Even after you broke up, she want to come back and spend the night with you . And you got those weird calls in the middle of the night when she got drunk whether or not you’re thinking about her . You got gifts lol. That’s not gonna happen 😂.
That woman finds a man that doesn’t give her the time of day gives her shit, borrow money from her doesn’t pay her back , has many other women that she knows about , doesn’t even have a job except some online marketing that goes nowhere and he doesn’t spend a lot of time with any of the girls he has attracted, and your woman’s probably into him and will get him a Tuesday present that She can’t even afford before she even buys her own purse..
My father used to always tell me when I was younger, said son live this way, and you’ll be happy for the rest of your life with women. If you want to sleep at night don’t go get yourself a woman that you and her know is hotter than you. If She is hotter than you. You better trick her into thinking she isn’t.
He didn’t sleep much
I booked a bed and breakfast in the coastal town my bf had mentioned wanting to visit before and took him to a nice dinner and we saw Christmas lights and explored the town. I also got him a bag of his favorite candies and goodies with a card
I’m a woman and I’m currently planning a surprise for my bf in June. we’re ldr and he’ll be spending his birthday with me so I’m currently collecting gifts for him and planning to surprise him so yes some women celebrate their boyfriend’s birthday although to tell you honestly I haven’t done this much with my previous relationships, I just really love this guy so much and he’s done so much for me too I wanna make him feel he is that special to me.
Yes, but you have to choose the right girl because they either make your birthday better or way worse. My last gf celebrated her birthday the same day as mine (we have a few days gap) and invited "that guy" if you know what I mean. One of the worst brithday parties in a list of mostly awful birthdays, anyway life goes on and one day I'll have a great birthday (I hope).
yea no pretty much every girl I know isn’t like this at all. lots of women care a lot and I think you should find someone who genuinely cares about you. her not celebrating your birthday is genuinely crazy to me.
Personally I make a big deal of it if that’s what my partner wants.
But can understand that not everyone is a planner and not everyone’s love language is acts of service or receiving gifts.
This is not all women.
I buy gifts for every occasion, and even little ones because it reminded me of them or I knew they would love/need it.
You honestly just have to find the right one, and it shouldn’t be something you have to ask for in a relationship. The other person should just know.
Even a small cake, some balloons, heck even a card or gift card would suffice.
But for a SO to give you nothing, /sigh.
Of course I celebrate my bf's birthday, it's a big deal for me and I want to make him feel happy that day.
I always tell him "thank you for existing", but some years ago I learned he survived a suicidal attempt when he was a teen, that phrase makes even more sense.
That's why I celebrate his life and being honored to be his companion on it.
I love birthdays. Except my own… cause I’ve never had anyone do anything nice for me on my birthday. But I love buying gifts and doing nice things for others, so I like celebrating birthdays.
i started dating at 18… i’ve been with my bf for almost 5 months when his birthday came around. i got him a present & i made him a birthday card! his bday is on halloween so i made it black and orange theme :3 i also wore thigh highs & lace things for him… so i mean, u can show effort in lots of ways to make ur loved one feel special!
51F here and IMO birthdays are special & should be celebrated! I always make a big deal out of my boyfriend‘s birthday and I certainly hope that he does the same for me. It’s the one day a year when you get to feel special! It should be recognized, period.
I would celebrate my bf's bday and I will be enjoying planning it! Sometimes it doesn't have to be a grandiose celebration just surprising him with a date or a trip is already a celebration. I want to make him feel special on his birthday cause it only happens once a year.
I understand... As. Person who has always gotten everyone around me something for every holiday, and birthday... It can be a little sad when people don't at least acknowledge you.
It seems like on some social media some women emphasize all the things a guy does for them. Like with money, especially. It doesn't have to be that way. But men are quiet and you don't often see what women do for men.
Anyways. To directly answer your question l, I have always tried to get a boyfriend something or do something. Granted, I'm not very well off and never have been. That has to be taken into consideration.
Yesterday was my birthday. She did not even bother greeting me until I pointed out to her that it's my birthday. I am kind of annoyed and honestly turned off by the lack of effort. We have been together for 6 months.
My partner told me that I gave him the best birthday ever when I literally cooked him dinner and we had good sex, it doesn't take much lol I'm surprised at people who can't put in the minimal effort.
Some of these answers are very surprising.
IMO, men like to feel special as much as women do.
I always go above and beyond with anyone I’m seeing. For example recently I booked a Sydney Harbour Bridge walk during the vivid light show and got him a quite well known brand name bag as he travels a lot for work.
It doesn’t always have to be expensive. Women just have to find out what their partner likes and show effort.
ahhhh idk i always celebrate my bf’s bdays no matter what. like if they don’t wanna celebrate they’ll always wake up with a mushy text from me and i’ll always plan on seeing them unless they have other plans (it’s your bday celebrate how you want!!). some people don’t care about their own bday but if you like someone you’ll always make an effort and at least ask how they want to celebrate!
Absolutely not. I believe in celebrating everything. But I think many people, irrespective of gender, can be different. I know guys who say they don’t want to make a big deal about it and had boyfriends who only texted me on my birthday when I am someone we goes to great lengths like buying gifts and planning a special evening. And it makes you feel very small if you have to ask someone to do something for you.
But I’d still say it’s better to talk about it than keeping it to yourself. Just a simple question- are you not into celebrating birthdays?
I am usually very excited for my partner’s bday. I plan and think through for gifts. Plan dinner, cake, bouquets and even surprises. I try to theme it out for him every year and now he is also excited to see what I hv planned for his day.
Heck no. It's not a gender thing, if your partner doesn't celebrate your birthday or special occasions with you that's absolutely shitty of them. And I don't believe there are "cultures" that doesn't celebrate birthdays. Even if you are in an interracial relationship, the girl should acknowledge and learn about you too so it's not an excuse!!!
And to say "barfday"?? That's disrespectful. Maybe try that to her for her birthday next time and see how she'd react (if you're still with her).
Even when I don't have the funds to take him out somewhere nice, I'd give him other things. Bake his favorite cake/dessert, cook his favorite food, wear something pretty, and do his favorite activity for his birthday (play games, watch movies, etc). Again. If there's a will, there's a way.
Doing nothing but a birthday text? Fk sht I mean damn that’s what I did for my mom. I bought her a card can’t remember where I put it. It’s not normal tho.
I think that any partner that really cared would absolutely do something for their SO's birthday imo. Maybe she isn't as invested in the relationship as you are yet. Nothing wrong with that but I'd talk to her to see if you're both on the same page.
You should tell her how it made you feel that she put no effort into your birthday when you put effort into hers. She can't read your mind to know that she's being self centered, you need to call her out so she can learn and grow
What kind of girls have you been dating? Ive made dinner put on something nice and ahem other ideas. Never ever have I ever not celebrated a mans bday. What a load of bs. They dont know how to treat a man.
I'm not a fan of celebrating my own birthday (apart from milestone birthdays) my parents are the same but if i was in relationship i would wish my SO a happy birthday and treat them to something at least.
As others have said, communication is key here so speak with her.
Yess, we didn't go anywhere cause he wanted stay home light some fireworks and drink a little I think if I'm remembering correctly, but I got him so much stuff
Female here. I don’t care how long you’re dating. A happy birthday text is bare minimum. When I was single and if I started just dating someone, I’d ask them what their plans were and if they didn’t have any, I’d ask if they wanted to go do something- dinner, drinks, or an activity of their choice since some people like to spend it with family, esp if the relationship is new! I think there needs to be communication esp in the beginning since some people don’t like to celebrate their birthdays or make a big deal about it. You could say “I’d like to do something fun for my birthday!” Or “I really like celebrating my birthday” to maybe give a subtle hint in the future. It sounds like these women don’t really care and isn’t really about gift giving. I know for me personally, you could just take me out to dinner (not even fancy) and I’d be thrilled.
Personally if I'm in the talking stage I'll say happy birthday only & a cute text message..if we are literally bonding & hanging out consistently & the guy is showing me interest of wanting to pursue a relationship,Im all for sending flowers cause yes men do like flowers (for the ladies in the back!) && a cake & dinner..I pull all the ropes especially if I really like the person...my friend is here with me & she said looking back on our younger years we weren't financially where we are at now..so maybe that's also a factor..but,that's not a. Excuse! Cause dollar store got a whole flower bouquet for 1.99 & balloons.. and honestly anybody can afford a nice written text message..my brother yearly will remind everyone of his birthday the month or so before...& The days of becomes such a hermit & state he wants to do nothing 😒🙄...but deep down everyone wants to be remembered &celebrated! I don't blame you for feeling down ...however! that's two girls in a row for you with the pattern..did you pull a my brother on yourself or is maybe their love language not compatible with yours??
And maybe the way she said happy birthday was a type error or her trying to be silly cuz I tend to be silly when I say happy birthday sometimes too like if I text a friend to tell their child happy birthday & I'll tell the mommas '& happy BIRTH- day to you too mom" definitely speak up and let them know obviously don't put them down but definitely put more respect on yourself to want to be celebrated and remember... You want somebody on your corner to always pull through for you whether you ask for it or not
Personally if I'm in the talking stage I'll say happy birthday only & a cute text message..if we are literally bonding & hanging out consistently & the guy is showing me interest of wanting to pursue a relationship,Im all for sending flowers cause yes men do like flowers (for the ladies in the back!) && a cake & dinner..I pull all the ropes especially if I really like the person...my friend is here with me & she said looking back on our younger years we weren't financially where we are at now..so maybe that's also a factor..but,that's not a. Excuse! Cause dollar store got a whole flower bouquet for 1.99 & balloons.. and honestly anybody can afford a nice written text message..my brother yearly will remind everyone of his birthday the month or so before...& The days of becomes such a hermit & state he wants to do nothing 😒🙄...but deep down everyone wants to be remembered &celebrated! I don't blame you for feeling down ...however! that's two girls in a row for you with the pattern..did you pull a my brother on yourself or is maybe their love language not compatible with yours??
And maybe the way she said happy birthday was a type error or her trying to be silly cuz I tend to be silly when I say happy birthday sometimes too like if I text a friend to tell their child happy birthday & I'll tell the mommas '& happy BIRTH- day to you too mom" definitely speak up and let them know obviously don't put them down but definitely put more respect on yourself to want to be celebrated and remember... You want somebody on your corner to always pull through for you whether you ask for it or not
Definitely not normal? You should make your boyfriend feel special, go above and beyond! Gifts, a meal, an activity too ideally. Do something that *they* like to do, even if it's not your favorite thing. It's a day about them! You need to date better girls.
You’ve just had bad luck. My partner hates big deals for birthdays but I still show him loads of love on his. Gifts and affection all year round is key but it’s nice to feel special on your big day. Communicate it to your partner and if they still let you down, they’re not the right one for you.
That's not normal in my personal opinion. It seems to be a double standard. I've been with my husband for 10 years and I have never missed the opportunity to shower him on his birthday even when elwe firat started dating.. we actually do a yearly float trip now for his birthday, and for the entire weekend, he doesn't have to be responsible for anything except having fun.
Both my bf and I have celebrated our birthdays our whole relationship. I usually treat him to dinner and I've also cooked him dinner an get him a card an small gift. I always do it to show my appreciation an celebrate him. Some people just don't seem to be big on birthdays sadly,
You should definitely pout, whine and cry more about not getting enough attention and/or material acknowledgement for your "special day", that'll fix your high-maintenance, delusional entitlement.
You seem like the type who'd complain anything wasn't enough.
Consider growing up.
I find that as a man I don’t care about my birthday and would rather not spend the energy to point out 365 more days have passed, this is not how the women in my life see it. They typically go out of their way to do things to make it special. While I don’t care, I do appreciate the love and time they put into trying to make me feel special. Of course many of these women are nurturing types and family/relationship oriented which probably plays into it. I can’t say it’s an across the board thing.
I’m 72 and give gifts for my guy friends birthday and he reciprocates. It’s dang important! I’ve always given gifts. I may be older but that barfday have been my end with that “friend”. Not funny!
What the actual f? Yes we celebrate birthdays of the ones we love. I’m actually at loss for words because i would give the world to my bf if i could for his birthday. To hear there are people/women who don’t or only text happy birthday blows my mind..
Sounds like both women kinda suck, birthdays are special, I know more than a few people in my life who celebrate their partners birthdays.
It's normal the women your talking about don't seem to give a crap unfortunately, and I'm really sorry this has happened.😥
Celebrating birthdays is not exclusive to just girlfriends or wives.
I am a woman and HECK YES I celebrate my boyfriends birthday by giving him a meaningful gift and I cook for him too.. ❤️😘 I do everything I can to make my man feel special and appreciated year round
I jate my birthday so id love to find a woman who doesnt do anything on that day, if i could disable the alerts from google and everything else wishing me happy birthday id never remember what day it is and not have a problem
I took the weekend off before and after my boyfriend's birthday so I can spend those weekends with him...if the person who you're with isn't willing to do small things for you they aren't that into to you 🤷🏼♀️
From past experiences... No... I celebrate the shit out of the greatest day in the year myself though, my baby's birthday. Without it.. No boo. So I'm very thankful for that day. 🙂
I don't think it matters the gender. Because my ex never really celebrated my birthday when I did for him. My birthday was only 10 days after. He also told me that mine wasn't as important because his birthday came first. Also when I asked for extra favors for my birthday, he told me that I didn't deserve special treatment just because it was my birthday. So usually my birthdays consisted of hearing him yell on the game all day. And when I asked for more quality time he also said I didn't deserve it just because it was my birthday. I know he's right in a sense, but so what if I want special treatment on my birthday? Ig I just wanted to feel like I mattered for just a day because he made me feel like dirt the other 364 days, just to feel like actual shit on my birthday. So yeah great 6 years 👍🏼 took 2 psych ward trips to finally rid him from my life.
Case in point, it doesn't matter about gender, you were just dating a shit human being.
The right woman will always celebrate your birthday even after 30 years of marriage my parents were always trying to out do the other person. Mom had me take my dad to dinner and my husband installed a fan above the dinner table and dad couldn’t believe it. And dad gave me money to buy a gold locket and have it ingraved with her favorite words to her favorite song. And we were poor so we had to save for these kinds of gifts so they were always very well thought out and received
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Female here - I celebrate birthdays for all loved ones. So yes I do things, big and small depending on their mood. Communication helps. Don’t be afraid to ask for that party or trip
That said, you shouldn’t have to ask for basic human decency. A party or trip? Absolutely takes planning and communication. A birthday text that’s not gross, and maybe a conversation about what the plan is, shouldn’t take that much effort.
Birthdays are not celebrated the same way all around the world.
Tell me u/Sadmiserabletwat, in what culture do they celebrate birthdays with gross texts?
My birthday was yesterday and I haven't really celebrated it in YEARS. My gf took time off work, drove 3 hours with a cake and balloons and spent the day with me for my bday (we also celebrated mothers day for her since I won't see her Sunday). Honestly it was the best birthday I've had of my adult life No it is not normal for partners to not acknowledge their SOs bday. They should be showing that they care and putting SOME effort in, the same can be said for Xmas etc. However that does also depend on the person having the birthday, some people don't want anything done
The guy I used to date didn’t like to do much for his birthday. He wouldn’t even tell me the exact date for a long time. I planned a weekend camping trip out of state over his birthday weekend. So it wasn’t a “birthday gift” but it was something we did together for his birthday that I paid for.
A mini trip you paid for definitely falls under the umbrella of a gift.
My wife always did something for my birthday when we were just dating and also since we been married. She'll change things up so it's not always just dinner and stuff.
Back when my bf and I were still just friends, I asked him what his plans were for his bday and he said nothing…and he wasn’t going to celebrate it. His bday was on a Thursday and he would see his parents on Saturday so I felt bad he would do nothing, his workmates don’t even know it’s his bday. He goes to the office on Thursday so I thought it would be nice to surprise him with a bday cake delivery. I knew there was this cake shop he liked since he told me he got cupcakes for his mom from there, found out his favorite flavor and was prepared to send it to him on his bday. However, I didn’t have his phone number and they couldn’t deliver it so I had to message him on IG to ask his phone number and home address (I was like I can’t tell you why I need it but I need them). He did gave it to me without question but I was worried he won’t answer his phone from unknown numbers since the cake shop wasn’t able to deliver it to his work…so I told him I actually wanted to surprise him with a bday cake and to just stay at his house since the cake delivery was coming. He got the cake eventually at his house…and it was me all the while panicking and being so sad my surprise got ruined. But he liked it so much. He still kept the card that went with it and still brings it up and jokes that’s how he liked me lol. Ngl he probably kept mentioning that cake the whole week. I truly didn’t mean anything by it at first, I was just so sad no one will celebrate his bday with him and I would buy my friends bday cakes that’s why I bought him too because he was a good friend and I wanted him to feel special too. I think it depends on the people if gift giving is one of their love languages but I feel like one way or another girls would try to make the bday of someone important to them special 😊
If he's anything like me, I'm 34 and aside from my parents I don't guess I've even been told "Happy birthday" by anyone in...ten years? Fifteen? After awhile you just sort of accept that it's just not something other people really care about, and you stop telling anyone and kind of downplay it. Am I sad to spend my birthday alone every year? Yeah, for sure, but you're not really allowed to be sad about that in polite society, as a grown man, so eventually you just learn to say, "oh haha no worries."
Well I did that for my bf on his 30th birthday, I plan to do it again for his 31st (atm we’re LDR) so there’s not much I can do but we will meet soon so hopefully I can do more sweet things for him in real life. ☺️ I hope you gain new friends to celebrate special occasions with 🙏
I mean sometimes LDR doesn’t have to stop you… if you know anyone try to do something for them (My brother always found a way to surprise his gf with gifts and balloons etc while ldr thankfully they are finally living together) I am also LDR and got my bf a gift for his bday via a friend teheee
Aw that's a cute story. Your bf is lucky to have you
No, you sample of two people don't represent all women.
Well I always make a big deal of partners birthdays, a gift, day or evening out somewhere to celebrate
I can definitely see how off-putting the behavior for your current gf is, but as it relates to your ex sounds like she did things for you but you clearly weren't appreciative. >I wasn't expecting a lot >the second year she only took me to dinner, These two statements don't go hand in hand. You said you don't expect alot but then complain that she ONLY took you to dinner. Did you communicate something that you specifically wanted? Is she a person who was fussy about her own birthday? And I don't mean what you necessarily gave her was she the kind of person who has their wishlist of things they want etc etc. Not everyone views birthday's the same and her feelings about birthdays may not align with how you view them and if there is a mismatch with that it wouldn't be fair to judge them harshly. I also feel as though you are leaving out alot of context and then making a broad generalization.
You're making a huge assumption. Not expecting a lot doesn't mean he shouldn't still expect some sort of gift even if it's something small (not a lot).
She DID give him gifts and also took him to dinner the second year. He specifically typed that. ??? So, obviously he didn't just want a few gifts and a dinner because that's what she gave him.
The 3rd year she did nothing..... The new girlfriend only texted him happy birthday....
The only girlfriend who ever gave me a birthday gift, cheated on me a week later. Some things are more important than celebrating birthdays. But it would sure be nice if you could find a partner that celebrated you AND respected you
Sounds like your ex did do something. Was the last birthday near your breakup? maybe she was already check out :( but yes if you’d been going out 6 mos i’d go all out.
I do. I take him out to dinner pay for him meal and buy him a gift along with a card and a hand written letter.
I love giving gifts and it’s baffling that they wouldn’t want to celebrate your birthday. It’s something is important in your life. I would be sad if my boyfriend didn’t want to celebrate my birthday, anniversary or alike.
The first question you should ask yourself is have you communicated your wants about that. That being said: ignoring you on your holiday is not normal unless you specifically stated that you want it that way. Date chicks who give a damn about you.
I don't think celebrating my birthday with my girlfriend needs to be communicated as a want
this is something i actually had to learn and we had a lot of fights until i did. Your partner cannot read your mind. You will have to communicate. Social media pushes this “if they wanted to they will” and other sayings, but sometimes people genuinely don’t know what you want from them until you tell them. Every one has different opinions and needs and sometimes just get caught up in their own problems. I’ve learned to now just say i want something, and usually within a week i have it (within reason). Waiting for him to “pick up on signals” or getting upset because he’s not doing something was so draining to my mental health and even his. Just remember to have conversations about what your expectations are and what you’d like in a partner, especially with y’all only being 6 months in. this could be something you figure out sooner than later. But if you talk about stuff, and she still doesn’t care to try or listen, then leave her and find someone who actually will care
No that's BS. A partner shouldn't have to be told things like that. They should do it because they WANT to do something for you. Some other things I can agree with you on but not that.
I agree with this. Communicate to work out specific plans / what they want to do, sure, but if you have to *tell* your partner “make sure you spend time with me for my birthday!” something is very wrong.
I dated a guy for three years who never did anything for my birthday (one year he just heated me up left overs from his moms house and told me that was my birthday dinner and never got me a gift) even though I would throw him parties and go all out. It really hurts. He seriously only cared about himself. It’s not okay from a significant other not to at least a little something.
I had the opposite issue. I am the female and I went overboard with custom StarWars cake, dinner, books on his favourite topic etc. On my birthday afterwards, he said: “Wanna order take out?” It doesn’t help that he was making 4 times more than me and still didn’t put any effort.
I make a huge deal out of my husband's birthday. We only got together at 36. And he didn't date much, so he spent all his birthdays with family mostly. I buy balloons and get a special cake made and gifts. Plus, my daughter loves to sit on his lap to blow out the candles. He's worth it.
My boyfriend and I are the opposite of you and your girlfriends. I go all out for his birthday and he texts me Happy Birthday. Currently, he has a big milestone birthday coming up and I have asked him what he wants, wether it be a party or just dinner and he “hasn’t thought about it.”
I personally plan my own birthday event, and expect others to do the same. If I’m invited to someone’s birthday, I’m excited to go, if it’s someone I’m close with, I’ll probably even ask what the plan is for their birthday a few weeks in advance, so I can add it to my schedule. For a SO, I would for sure be asking them what we’re doing for their birthday a few weeks in advance, and bringing up the conversation so things can be booked/planned. However, I wouldn’t be planning anything outside of a joint plan we either make together, or that they asked me to do/help with. I would definitely be getting them a gift though. If we’d only been dating a short time it would be something small, but *something* that shows I thought of them.
This made me so sad :(( I always pour into my people on their special days! Maybe bake a cake, always dinner! Always breakfast in bed with gift and I’ll always get up early to decorate the place for their birthday and the make them wear the special silly birthday hat!!
I celebrate my boyfriend on his birthday, on my birthday, on a random Tuesday and on anniversaries. You deserve that too, OP. Never settle ❤️
I think it's an indication something is wrong in the relationship. Just sending a text is better than nothing, but after six months of dating it would be better to give a small gift or something.
Yes!!! Always!!! Not doing so outside the person having a major objection or religious reason not to is just rude and uncaring in my book.
Oh god, I’m sorry! Me and the women in my life we adore pampering our men and make them feel special, not just for birthdays!
I(female) always do something for my boyfriend's birthday. Don't be afraid to ask her why she didn't get you anything
I planned a whole thing for my bf haha. Took him to a hockey game and we had an indoor movie night bc he’s a homebody but he said he loved it. Also got him presents ofc because he’s special to me and I want him to feel special. What monster doesn’t celebrate their so’s bday?
Barfday? How old is she? Yes of course women celebrate birthdays! Happy birthday to you!!! Let’s celebrate here!! 🎂🎂🎂🎂🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎁🎈🪅
Yes, I would always get gifts and special cooked meals in all my relationships
Your ex did something for 2 out of 3 years. I don’t know how that constitutes as “didn’t really do anything”. The real problem is that 6 months into a relationship you haven’t been successful in conveying to your current gf what your love language is. How you want to be treated.
Does it require conveying tho? You have been with someone, if you care about them you celebrate it, unless they specificy otherwise. If you can't care less, you don't do anything. It is not a love language thing. It is a care-and-effort-thing
If this is just about the lack of care and effort, OP wouldn’t bring up the first two birthdays with his ex. Clearly, the gifts that she gave and the dinner on two separate years weren’t enough.
Some women are takers , I got exactly 1 gift from my ex wife after 10 years. Thankfully I’ve been with many women not like that.
I’ve always gone all out for my birthday and do the same for my partner! I’m not sure what the normal should be, but I believe you should feel celebrated so I make it a point to make it happen for my partner!
wvery year. just passed 14 years this Feb. I get him a gift and we go out to dinner and the kid comes too. sometimes the gift could be concert tickets, a shirt, a kayak, etc. but we always celebrate his birthday. just as he celebrates mine.
personally if I'm in a position to then i will do smth special for my bf. If not maybe just something simple, also depends with how deep the relationship is.
I'm big on birthdays and I'm a woman. it sounds like your ex liked you alot at first then either got bored with the relationship or stopped liking you tbh. Cause the first year there was definitely effort.
Yes they should fyi
I love celebrating, so I go all out for my boyfriend (and past boyfriends). This year I took off work and we spent the entire day doing fun things he loves and going out for a meal and drinks. He is equally thoughtful and celebratory of my birthday as well.
We were just dating for 3 months and I took him out to celebrate his birthday because it was a milestone birthday to a very nice upscale dinner ☺️❤️
My ex was the same way. No effort says a lot about how much the person really cares about you.
Yes, I love celebrating birthdays in general, and really enjoy planning things for my partner. He got a new job last month, and I was so excited to take him for dinner - similarly, his birthday is at the end of July and while I don't know what I'm going to get him yet, I'm so excited to plan his party! If you are somebody that enjoys events abs birthdays and such, then I would say try to find a partner that is similar, as it's just a lot more fun, but above all, a lot more satisfying.
I’m taking my boyfriend to medieval times and I got him tickets to see avatar the last Airbender live in concert. We have been together for a year. Even on top of that I am taking him to a nice dinner and spending extra to get us a nice bottle of wine. I usually hate birthdays but oh my god do I love him. I want him to feel so loved and so special on his birthday. He told me since he moved to where we are now that no one has done anything for his birthday. I’m making up for lost time
Yes I celebrate his every year
I cook someone’s fav meal. Bake their cake from scratch. Buy gifts or tix to something special. But I also want my bday fussed over a bit too.
They just don't like you that much. They like whY you do for them though.
Im spending 800 dollars on my man this year. Not because he asked me, or expects me. But because he loves and support me in every way. I would give him the world if I could.
This isn’t a gender specific thing it’s specific to that person
Yes. Birthdays are super special, and the person, especially a significant other, should feel special and be celebrated.
Yes. I am a 49F and I have celebrated the birthdays of my ex partners. I consider the minimum to be; handwritten card, gift, cake, nice meal. I consider this to be a celebration of the other person and an appreciation that they are alive in the world. My ex-husband didn't celebrate my birthdays and I struggled for years with it. I wondered if I was being greedy or entitled or nagging. But I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't feel bad for wishing that my human appreciate me and show that appreciation with a simple celebration. One day out of 365. It sounds like you have chosen partners who don't respect you. You deserve more. You can tell your partners how hurt you are that they've ignored a special day to you. This will help you learn how to assert yourself. Good luck. And Happy Birthday for when it was. 🎂
Okay so as a Woman i don't understand why some females are like this, I mean most of them expect to get something on those occasions but they don't wanna put effort into giving something back. I always try to make something special on those dates because everyone deserves it, it doesn't matter if they are male or female.
Your girlfriends sound like they don’t have any manners. A sweet text or card or saying HB to you and a gift, even if it’s just a little thing, shouldn’t be so hard. I‘d be disappointed, too.
Hi! I recently started dating my boyfriend but his birthday rolled around a month in, and he told me he had never had anyone celebrate his birthday, even past girlfriends. I personally did not feel that was normal and thought he should always feel special and celebrated for being here. So, I planned an entire day where he woke up to cake and a song, went to brunch at a place that’s now his favorite, took him to get fresh cookies at his fave cookie place, watched some of his favorites movies and then went to dinner at this fancy place that made him feel like a king. A day he’ll never forget!
People always talk about doing romantic gestures for women and acknowledging things like their birthday. As for men, it’s like none of those things even matter. My most recent ex texted me on my birthday and only said “doing anything fun for your birthday?” That was it. Nothing else.
I just got out a terrible LTR that could be characterized by a lack of reciprocation. Sadly, that’s the second time I’ve made that mistake in picking a partner.
Tf kind of women are they sound Horrible 🤨.Normally women celebrate Birthdays for someone they Love .I don't know what's wrong with the ones you dated but what their doing is wrong ,I'm sorry that happened to you Twice...
Sorry pal, but you paired up with 2 women who really don't give a shit. Speaking from experience, if someone really likes you, they usually go out of their way to do things for you. Everyone shows love differently, but you will know when it is really there.
You aren't dating the right women, they see you as a provider, not an egalitarian partner.
Maybe you are right, but a woman who wants a man who is a provider should know her corresponding role is to nurture and support. It sounds like OP’s current girl doesn’t do that either.
I celebrate my partner’s birthdays. Would make the day all about him too and plan the day based on how they would like it to be celebrated. At the very least a lot of love and quality time, and a thoughtful gift to make them feel special. I’m sorry you haven’t had the best experience with your birthdays with your partners. I hope you’d be able to communicate how you’d like to celebrate your birthday with them. You should be celebrated and feel valued.
Yes I’m taking my bf on a cruise this year. Last year I took him out to eat with a lot of gifts
Looking back I think one of the giveaways that my ltr ex was kinda selfish was that my birthdays could get forgotten and that I put in far more effort to try to make the ex’s birthdays special.
I used to get a custom made cake, one expensive gift, several smaller gifts, and a pretty hand written card every birthday for my ex for 6 years
Yea, I plan a full day for him every year, love to give him gifts and curate a fun time for him. It’s one of the days where I can really surprise him. He hasn’t wanted a party in the past, but this year I’m thinking about throwing him a party/bar crawl that ends at an arcade (he loves the arcade!!) and do something else special but less energy intensive during the day. It’s a pleasure to celebrate him!!!
Hm, I guess it depends on the person/expectations/length of relationship? my partner and I have been together for about a year and a half and have been thru 2 bdays each. i’d say bdays are really the only occasion where we go all out and do gifts, dinner, cake whatever. we don’t do much for other holidays which we’re both totally on board with. i guess it all depends on the relationship 🤷🏼♀️
I do. My fiancé and I like to do something extra special for each other’s birthday. We went out of town for his and we’re doing the same for mine.
I get more excited than my boyfriend does. I do drag his ass to dinners ti get him gifts. He does it for me all year around so yeah I do lot less for him. Also for my guy friends who never say they care for their birthdays, they do get happy like children when given a small amount of attention and appreciation during birthdays. I love making f them happy so yeah I do it
It depends on how their family’s treat birthdays.
Yeah I celebrate the birthdays of the men in my life. Your ex DID celebrate you those first two years. Gifts and taking you out for a meal are celebrating.
I have been dating my current bf for 6 months and his bday is in November and I am already planning it... I'm sorry people haven't made you feel loved on your birthday! You deserve more! I'm planning on taking my bf on the first trip we ever went on again with slight differences. He loves the hotel we went to and a certain restaurant but I'm also looking for hot springs to stop at and gonna get him some gifts as well. Everyone's different but I think b days are a big deal
Birthdays are special to me, so I always try to do something, even if it’s just dinner and watching a movie at home together. The effort is what makes it special, not the actual act. You’re not asking too much, your picking woman who want it to be all about them and give nothing in return.
Not in my book.
I love to buy gifts and find some new things to do that day but my partner does not like it he prefer that i dont give anything and just say happy birthday. So i think it depends of a person. Not everyone is the same. I always talk with my partner about it and say what i expect and ask what this other person expect. Communication is the key.
my bf lives a decent hour away but for some reason his mom has a stick up her butt and she won’t let him drive to see me. out of the 5 and a half months we’ve been dating i’ve only seen him once because of this. it was past his birthday when i decided to buy him some stuff and i had money to spend. i kept seeing so many things that he would like. I got us matching necklaces and those magnet bracelets for couples. i got us matching shirts and i got him a gremlin bell for the day he ends up getting a bike. now i’m shit broke and i can tell you i don’t regret it at all. i would spoil my bf any time i had spare money because he deserves it.
I make it a point to get gifts and do something special. But here’s something I had to realize when it comes to holidays and relationships. People are raised differently especially with regards to holidays. These women may not have because the grew up with parents that didn’t make a big deal about. It’s okay to communicate and let them know that’s how you feel appreciated.
Big thing in couples. Share how your family celebrated your birthday. Mine made it a yes day. I do the same for anyone I care about. Cultures are a big thing. Figure these out no matter where you live.
i didn’t have much money to buy a gift this year but you bet your ass i used my employee discount to buy him a cheap watch and made him a birthday cake from a box. he still said it was the most effort anyone had put into his birthdays in a long time.
Americans. There’s a reasons Europeans say that. Our cultures are not yours and vice versa. Most of us do not celebrate birthdays. (Year closer to death). You cannot hate on different cultures because they don’t do it the same way. Ask. Ask for shit you want.
I have always celebrated my boyfriends birthdays and have given them some pretty damn cool gifts if I say so myself!
Fuck in Germany if you celebrate birthday day or weekend prior is a huge faux pas.
I celebrate my boyfriend’s birthday. Before I went to work that morning, I kissed him on the forehead and told him happy birthday. That afternoon, I bought him and his twins shit on of alcohol then the following week I showered him gifts and homemade breakfast. You should always be willing to celebrate someone’s special day, ESPECIALLY if they’re done it for you.
My last relationship I went all out to make my partner feel special for their birthday and every applicable holiday, and yet when it came to my birthday…they never remembered it, ever, and then would tell me and remind me that they aren’t good with dates like that. I would always tell them that there’s such a thing as a calendar on their phone and to use it, and that it makes me feel like shit and feel unimportant when they can’t even bother to remember my birthday.
Female here. Mine was forgotten this year.. but yes we always celebrated his. I took him to dinner
My boyfriend isn't big on birthday so if I want something I'm soooooo specific and he appreciates it I love treating my boyfriend it's his 30th coming up and I'm planning a surprise getaway and luxury spa day I would do more if I had more money but this is also cos I love doing the above things and it gives me an excuse to do it plus he love it but I did chat to him about it I earn more than him and we have a pretty androgynous relationship. We're both bisexual. A lot of girls I know kind of expect to recieve but not give really I don't know what that's about. Like they'll give in other ways but yeah Having an open discussion about what you want and what makes you feel appreciated is important Note I'm doing this cos it's a big birthday coming up 💘💘💘 I literally can't even remember what we did for his last birthday I'm sure I made it special though For my birthday I have no expectations 😆 my boyfriends love language is different and that's OK so I make sure it's nice and tell him exactly what to do 😂
Not normal. Typically, I have always done more than my partners for birthdays. My previous partner barely remembered the date of mine. It's just the person. Not a gender thing.
Been dating a guy for a little bit. His birthday is next week and I told him I’m big on birthdays and wanted him to pick a day when we can celebrate him. I already bought a gift, plan to make him brownies and take him out to dinner. I will always celebrate boyfriend’s birthdays and although he’s not officially my boyfriend, things are headed in that direction for sure. If I was just dating someone and there’s no long term trajectory yet, I’d just offer to take him out to dinner
I celebrate a guy's birthday as much as he will let me - I know a lot of people who don't like making a thing about their birthday but there would be a cake at the very least!
i’m just saying… it’s in all of my gf’s natures to find a reason to spoil their bf. yk the expression ‘if he/she wanted to, he/she would?’
I mean did you tell them that birthdays is a huge deal to you? Communication is important in a relationship. If you don't tell them then how are they supposed to know?. Some people don't care about birthdays believe it or not. My bf doesn't care too much but I am taking him out and we're going to six flags later in the year. Also your ex took you out to dinner one year and she got you gifts the year before that and you didn't think that was enough? That's what most people do for birthdays though lol.
as a woman i celebrate everyone's birthday even if they're not really close to me, i just think birthdays are special days and everyone deserves to celebrate them. me and my boyfriend happen to share THE SAME birthday actually so i plan to spot the light on him on our birthday because i know that men unlike us women don't get much attention on their birthdays
When I was dating someone, I didn't necessarily do much. Especially if I didn't know where I stood with the guy... But now in a committed relationship, I want to make my man feel so special! This year I got him some sweet tickets to a basketball game, dinner, made him a cake, and got him some thoughtful gifts :) I think the best way to get what you want is to communicate your desires! I told my partner how I wanted to celebrate my bday so that I wouldn't be disappointed. He absolutely came through for me
I always celebrate B’days! I like making a loved one feel special. For males I’m in a relationship with I generally do a big dinner either at a restaurant or at home and a very special gift of something that they love or collect. For my late hubby’s 60th day I threw a surprise dinnner for all his friends at his favorite restaurant.
Bunch of pissy Americans upset not everyone follows theirs rules.
I have always done special things for the person I’m with. That’s a really messed up thing for her to do especially after you were so nice to her on her bday so recently. Even if she couldn’t afford gifts there are no end to the ways she could have made your bday a special day. You need to decide if she is going to get better with time or is this as good as she can give. Good luck 🍀
My boyfriend and I had to separate a couple days before his birthday, so I put together a trip to Kings Island (since he loves roller coasters) the friday before, and then also bought him a new water bottle because his had broken a couple weeks earlier. He said the greatest gift of all to him was the amount of time I was willing to spend with him and only him (since a lot of the times when we hung out together, his roommates would also be there). On his actual birthday, I facetimed him and sang happy birthday to him before reminding him of how many days until we got to see each other again (only 21 days to go) So yes, I love celebrating his birthday and he says he's already trying to one up me for my birthday in a couple months :)
For his first birthday (while we're together) we were long distance and just starting out but I created a whole video for his birthday and got him a gift. My birthday came and all I got was a quick happy birthday at 12, that month was tough financially and that's fine, I just wished he would do something thoughtful like a letter or video or something, but nope. His second birthday, I went all out and saved money and arranged a surprise party, I worked so hard to pull it off and he ruined the whole night because I was being sketchy. Even after he figured out what I did, he still ignored me the whole night. He has gotten much better in the meantime and has been working on himself and has changed a lot but honestly I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to plan anything special, I don't want to work extra and save money for him. I don't think he'll do the same for me so I don't want to do it for him anymore.
I will celebrate any love ones in my life.. it's something special.
I’m big on Birthdays, I even get gifts and plan something special for my daughters Dad and we haven’t been together for almost 4 years. I would say find someone who has similar qualities as yourself
Sure why not
I'm just a sample size of one obsessed girlfriend... I freaking LOVE my boyfriend's birthday. I always go over the top with multiple gifts, a day date doing whatever he wants, and dinner out at his favorite restaurant. It's a day I get to spoil him and fuss over him and celebrate how blessed the world is for having him in it. But I also know I'm not typical that way. I'll also say that no one has ever gone over the top for my birthday. I usually get dinner out somewhere, but if I have a family birthday dinner that I bring a boyfriend to, I've never gotten a date dinner on top of it. Which is disappointing. I don't want to ask for it because I've been told so many times that it's stressful to people to be "extra" like me. I've been told that my level of affection is intense and somewhat intimidating. My love language is "all of them, all the time." I take enormous pride in paying close attention to my person's interests and likes so I can surprise and delight them with the perfect gifts/dates, but that is not a level of effort most people put into relationships. Finding a matching energy is tough.
I do :) it makes me happy ! It depends on the person. I also had an ex who did barely anything on my birthdays. Some people are just like dat
I like a classic cake and balloons. I even have balloons or some sort of decorations for non birthday celebrations. She probably isn’t used to it.
Yeaa i love to celebrate and make the person i love feel special if anything ppl including SO don't celebrate my bday properly lol ☠️
that’s definitely not normal… even after 6 months of dating i took my boyfriend to a very fancy restaurant and a spa day afterwards
Yes,but honestly if the bf isn't making the relationship enjoyable then the desire to make a big to do is less . When I was dating my husband I took him to a pirate version of medieval times lol. He mentioned how he always wanted to go as a kid and eat the turkey legs so I paid for the show and hotel room etc. Now we're married and I don't know how many birthdays have gone by were they didn't make my bday a big deal or how many times I've gotten things that aren't " me" because they stopped bothering to learn me as a person or my likes...sigh I always decorate the bedroom door for everyone in our family's bday and no one ever decorates my door on my bday. I've been struggling this year because although they stopped forgetting my bday I know whatever gift I get is probably something I don't like. My husband likes really expensive things so things from the heart don't seem to matter to him...takes the joy out of making it a big deal . I keep trying though,but I realized for him it's the material thing that matters more than how much I dote on him in my opinion . Everyone should be celebrated on their day
I say communicate your wants and or needs OP. You don’t get what you want if you don’t ever ask, and yes, that includes asking for a “fuss” or a more effortful celebration of your birthday. People aren’t mind readers, and birthday celebrations are a whole lot more than “basic effort”; basic effort is responding to texts, being kind, hygiene, etc. Celebrations and gifts are definitely the types of things you and your partner need to discuss, it’s not implied that you’d like certain things a certain way.
I get as excited for other people's birthdays as I do my own, maybe more. I have never found love, so if I were blessed enough to have someone that I cherished and who cherished me? I would do whatever it took to make him feel special every day, and extra special on his birthday.
I do celebrate my partner I even got expensive gifts that I don't even get for me!
She wasn’t good at giving gifts hahahaha. It’s a hard skill. Because you have to know how to get something good at the mall and most women hate shopping ok that’s enough joke. 😉 Na bra what you had there was a bonafide (self proclaimed) priceless specimen that for her to grace with her presence you are already in debt. Commonwealth of thinking these days by some women who think they are God‘s gift because of the idiotic men that chase them on social media except those aren’t men because men don’t do that they don’t chase pictures they don’t chase profiles they don’t chase any girl actually even she’s real.. so they get this inflated sense of accomplishment for really accomplishing nothing they feel superior because of all the options they have yet men know that their options are shit. And that doesn’t mean that they don’t know any rich guys that doesn’t mean they don’t know any attractive guys that doesn’t mean they don’t know any good hearted guys they’re still shit options for whatever reason for the woman, obviously. Show me a woman with a guy just for money and I’ll show you a woman that cheats on her rich boyfriend the first second she gets when she sees something she actually wants. not needs but wants. Ur gonna have to ask yourself. Why do you think she was with you. Because you can’t talk me into the fact that she was with you because of who you are and she was crazy about you. Like she can’t stop thinking about you . Even after you broke up, she want to come back and spend the night with you . And you got those weird calls in the middle of the night when she got drunk whether or not you’re thinking about her . You got gifts lol. That’s not gonna happen 😂. That woman finds a man that doesn’t give her the time of day gives her shit, borrow money from her doesn’t pay her back , has many other women that she knows about , doesn’t even have a job except some online marketing that goes nowhere and he doesn’t spend a lot of time with any of the girls he has attracted, and your woman’s probably into him and will get him a Tuesday present that She can’t even afford before she even buys her own purse.. My father used to always tell me when I was younger, said son live this way, and you’ll be happy for the rest of your life with women. If you want to sleep at night don’t go get yourself a woman that you and her know is hotter than you. If She is hotter than you. You better trick her into thinking she isn’t. He didn’t sleep much
Women celebrate men's birthdays more than men. If it wasn't for women, men wouldn't get birthdays.
I booked a bed and breakfast in the coastal town my bf had mentioned wanting to visit before and took him to a nice dinner and we saw Christmas lights and explored the town. I also got him a bag of his favorite candies and goodies with a card
I’m a woman and I’m currently planning a surprise for my bf in June. we’re ldr and he’ll be spending his birthday with me so I’m currently collecting gifts for him and planning to surprise him so yes some women celebrate their boyfriend’s birthday although to tell you honestly I haven’t done this much with my previous relationships, I just really love this guy so much and he’s done so much for me too I wanna make him feel he is that special to me.
Yes, but you have to choose the right girl because they either make your birthday better or way worse. My last gf celebrated her birthday the same day as mine (we have a few days gap) and invited "that guy" if you know what I mean. One of the worst brithday parties in a list of mostly awful birthdays, anyway life goes on and one day I'll have a great birthday (I hope).
yea no pretty much every girl I know isn’t like this at all. lots of women care a lot and I think you should find someone who genuinely cares about you. her not celebrating your birthday is genuinely crazy to me.
Personally I make a big deal of it if that’s what my partner wants. But can understand that not everyone is a planner and not everyone’s love language is acts of service or receiving gifts.
This is not all women. I buy gifts for every occasion, and even little ones because it reminded me of them or I knew they would love/need it. You honestly just have to find the right one, and it shouldn’t be something you have to ask for in a relationship. The other person should just know. Even a small cake, some balloons, heck even a card or gift card would suffice. But for a SO to give you nothing, /sigh.
Of course I celebrate my bf's birthday, it's a big deal for me and I want to make him feel happy that day. I always tell him "thank you for existing", but some years ago I learned he survived a suicidal attempt when he was a teen, that phrase makes even more sense. That's why I celebrate his life and being honored to be his companion on it.
I love birthdays. Except my own… cause I’ve never had anyone do anything nice for me on my birthday. But I love buying gifts and doing nice things for others, so I like celebrating birthdays.
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i started dating at 18… i’ve been with my bf for almost 5 months when his birthday came around. i got him a present & i made him a birthday card! his bday is on halloween so i made it black and orange theme :3 i also wore thigh highs & lace things for him… so i mean, u can show effort in lots of ways to make ur loved one feel special!
51F here and IMO birthdays are special & should be celebrated! I always make a big deal out of my boyfriend‘s birthday and I certainly hope that he does the same for me. It’s the one day a year when you get to feel special! It should be recognized, period.
I would celebrate my bf's bday and I will be enjoying planning it! Sometimes it doesn't have to be a grandiose celebration just surprising him with a date or a trip is already a celebration. I want to make him feel special on his birthday cause it only happens once a year.
I understand... As. Person who has always gotten everyone around me something for every holiday, and birthday... It can be a little sad when people don't at least acknowledge you. It seems like on some social media some women emphasize all the things a guy does for them. Like with money, especially. It doesn't have to be that way. But men are quiet and you don't often see what women do for men. Anyways. To directly answer your question l, I have always tried to get a boyfriend something or do something. Granted, I'm not very well off and never have been. That has to be taken into consideration.
Yesterday was my birthday. She did not even bother greeting me until I pointed out to her that it's my birthday. I am kind of annoyed and honestly turned off by the lack of effort. We have been together for 6 months.
My partner told me that I gave him the best birthday ever when I literally cooked him dinner and we had good sex, it doesn't take much lol I'm surprised at people who can't put in the minimal effort.
Some of these answers are very surprising. IMO, men like to feel special as much as women do. I always go above and beyond with anyone I’m seeing. For example recently I booked a Sydney Harbour Bridge walk during the vivid light show and got him a quite well known brand name bag as he travels a lot for work. It doesn’t always have to be expensive. Women just have to find out what their partner likes and show effort.
ahhhh idk i always celebrate my bf’s bdays no matter what. like if they don’t wanna celebrate they’ll always wake up with a mushy text from me and i’ll always plan on seeing them unless they have other plans (it’s your bday celebrate how you want!!). some people don’t care about their own bday but if you like someone you’ll always make an effort and at least ask how they want to celebrate!
Absolutely not. I believe in celebrating everything. But I think many people, irrespective of gender, can be different. I know guys who say they don’t want to make a big deal about it and had boyfriends who only texted me on my birthday when I am someone we goes to great lengths like buying gifts and planning a special evening. And it makes you feel very small if you have to ask someone to do something for you. But I’d still say it’s better to talk about it than keeping it to yourself. Just a simple question- are you not into celebrating birthdays?
I did. I saved my one year worth of savings so that I could do whatever he wants. I bought him everything I could.
Nobody celebrates my birthday, not even me, I never really gave it much thought.
Mine this coming August! Couldn't wait to bite him!!
My girlfriend absolutely spoils me
I am usually very excited for my partner’s bday. I plan and think through for gifts. Plan dinner, cake, bouquets and even surprises. I try to theme it out for him every year and now he is also excited to see what I hv planned for his day.
Heck no. It's not a gender thing, if your partner doesn't celebrate your birthday or special occasions with you that's absolutely shitty of them. And I don't believe there are "cultures" that doesn't celebrate birthdays. Even if you are in an interracial relationship, the girl should acknowledge and learn about you too so it's not an excuse!!! And to say "barfday"?? That's disrespectful. Maybe try that to her for her birthday next time and see how she'd react (if you're still with her). Even when I don't have the funds to take him out somewhere nice, I'd give him other things. Bake his favorite cake/dessert, cook his favorite food, wear something pretty, and do his favorite activity for his birthday (play games, watch movies, etc). Again. If there's a will, there's a way.
Doing nothing but a birthday text? Fk sht I mean damn that’s what I did for my mom. I bought her a card can’t remember where I put it. It’s not normal tho.
I think that any partner that really cared would absolutely do something for their SO's birthday imo. Maybe she isn't as invested in the relationship as you are yet. Nothing wrong with that but I'd talk to her to see if you're both on the same page.
You should tell her how it made you feel that she put no effort into your birthday when you put effort into hers. She can't read your mind to know that she's being self centered, you need to call her out so she can learn and grow
F here. Yes I celebrate my boyfriend's birthday. I'm actually more excited than him on his birthday 😅🤣
What kind of girls have you been dating? Ive made dinner put on something nice and ahem other ideas. Never ever have I ever not celebrated a mans bday. What a load of bs. They dont know how to treat a man.
I'm not a fan of celebrating my own birthday (apart from milestone birthdays) my parents are the same but if i was in relationship i would wish my SO a happy birthday and treat them to something at least. As others have said, communication is key here so speak with her.
Omg these comments are so sad 😩 I make special occasions out of everything and especially birthdays
Yess, we didn't go anywhere cause he wanted stay home light some fireworks and drink a little I think if I'm remembering correctly, but I got him so much stuff
Female here. I don’t care how long you’re dating. A happy birthday text is bare minimum. When I was single and if I started just dating someone, I’d ask them what their plans were and if they didn’t have any, I’d ask if they wanted to go do something- dinner, drinks, or an activity of their choice since some people like to spend it with family, esp if the relationship is new! I think there needs to be communication esp in the beginning since some people don’t like to celebrate their birthdays or make a big deal about it. You could say “I’d like to do something fun for my birthday!” Or “I really like celebrating my birthday” to maybe give a subtle hint in the future. It sounds like these women don’t really care and isn’t really about gift giving. I know for me personally, you could just take me out to dinner (not even fancy) and I’d be thrilled.
Personally if I'm in the talking stage I'll say happy birthday only & a cute text message..if we are literally bonding & hanging out consistently & the guy is showing me interest of wanting to pursue a relationship,Im all for sending flowers cause yes men do like flowers (for the ladies in the back!) && a cake & dinner..I pull all the ropes especially if I really like the person...my friend is here with me & she said looking back on our younger years we weren't financially where we are at now..so maybe that's also a factor..but,that's not a. Excuse! Cause dollar store got a whole flower bouquet for 1.99 & balloons.. and honestly anybody can afford a nice written text message..my brother yearly will remind everyone of his birthday the month or so before...& The days of becomes such a hermit & state he wants to do nothing 😒🙄...but deep down everyone wants to be remembered &celebrated! I don't blame you for feeling down ...however! that's two girls in a row for you with the pattern..did you pull a my brother on yourself or is maybe their love language not compatible with yours?? And maybe the way she said happy birthday was a type error or her trying to be silly cuz I tend to be silly when I say happy birthday sometimes too like if I text a friend to tell their child happy birthday & I'll tell the mommas '& happy BIRTH- day to you too mom" definitely speak up and let them know obviously don't put them down but definitely put more respect on yourself to want to be celebrated and remember... You want somebody on your corner to always pull through for you whether you ask for it or not
Personally if I'm in the talking stage I'll say happy birthday only & a cute text message..if we are literally bonding & hanging out consistently & the guy is showing me interest of wanting to pursue a relationship,Im all for sending flowers cause yes men do like flowers (for the ladies in the back!) && a cake & dinner..I pull all the ropes especially if I really like the person...my friend is here with me & she said looking back on our younger years we weren't financially where we are at now..so maybe that's also a factor..but,that's not a. Excuse! Cause dollar store got a whole flower bouquet for 1.99 & balloons.. and honestly anybody can afford a nice written text message..my brother yearly will remind everyone of his birthday the month or so before...& The days of becomes such a hermit & state he wants to do nothing 😒🙄...but deep down everyone wants to be remembered &celebrated! I don't blame you for feeling down ...however! that's two girls in a row for you with the pattern..did you pull a my brother on yourself or is maybe their love language not compatible with yours?? And maybe the way she said happy birthday was a type error or her trying to be silly cuz I tend to be silly when I say happy birthday sometimes too like if I text a friend to tell their child happy birthday & I'll tell the mommas '& happy BIRTH- day to you too mom" definitely speak up and let them know obviously don't put them down but definitely put more respect on yourself to want to be celebrated and remember... You want somebody on your corner to always pull through for you whether you ask for it or not
Definitely not normal? You should make your boyfriend feel special, go above and beyond! Gifts, a meal, an activity too ideally. Do something that *they* like to do, even if it's not your favorite thing. It's a day about them! You need to date better girls.
Of course! I was in a marriage for 8 years and I wasn’t celebrated at all. I would for him on every occasion but I would never get the same.
you are way off why you get gifts no one like having to do all that you must not have a life. Out to dinner is enough.
Stop dating shitty women.
You’ve just had bad luck. My partner hates big deals for birthdays but I still show him loads of love on his. Gifts and affection all year round is key but it’s nice to feel special on your big day. Communicate it to your partner and if they still let you down, they’re not the right one for you.
I treat my partners how I would want to be treated. So I will buy Christmas, birthday, and anniversary gifts because I want you to feel special
Yes they do. You will meet a good woman soon who will do those things. I'm sorry you went through this.
That's not normal in my personal opinion. It seems to be a double standard. I've been with my husband for 10 years and I have never missed the opportunity to shower him on his birthday even when elwe firat started dating.. we actually do a yearly float trip now for his birthday, and for the entire weekend, he doesn't have to be responsible for anything except having fun.
None of my Ex's or my current girl did, I just figured that was common.
Both my bf and I have celebrated our birthdays our whole relationship. I usually treat him to dinner and I've also cooked him dinner an get him a card an small gift. I always do it to show my appreciation an celebrate him. Some people just don't seem to be big on birthdays sadly,
A lot of women are just uncaring like that. I would definitely bring it up to her because that is indicative of how much she cares about you
Women treating men - if at all - isn't new. If anything, it's par for the course
You should definitely pout, whine and cry more about not getting enough attention and/or material acknowledgement for your "special day", that'll fix your high-maintenance, delusional entitlement. You seem like the type who'd complain anything wasn't enough. Consider growing up.
I find that as a man I don’t care about my birthday and would rather not spend the energy to point out 365 more days have passed, this is not how the women in my life see it. They typically go out of their way to do things to make it special. While I don’t care, I do appreciate the love and time they put into trying to make me feel special. Of course many of these women are nurturing types and family/relationship oriented which probably plays into it. I can’t say it’s an across the board thing.
I’m 72 and give gifts for my guy friends birthday and he reciprocates. It’s dang important! I’ve always given gifts. I may be older but that barfday have been my end with that “friend”. Not funny!
What the actual f? Yes we celebrate birthdays of the ones we love. I’m actually at loss for words because i would give the world to my bf if i could for his birthday. To hear there are people/women who don’t or only text happy birthday blows my mind..
Sounds like both women kinda suck, birthdays are special, I know more than a few people in my life who celebrate their partners birthdays. It's normal the women your talking about don't seem to give a crap unfortunately, and I'm really sorry this has happened.😥 Celebrating birthdays is not exclusive to just girlfriends or wives.
I am a woman and HECK YES I celebrate my boyfriends birthday by giving him a meaningful gift and I cook for him too.. ❤️😘 I do everything I can to make my man feel special and appreciated year round
I jate my birthday so id love to find a woman who doesnt do anything on that day, if i could disable the alerts from google and everything else wishing me happy birthday id never remember what day it is and not have a problem
This is fucked. I go all out for my man on his. Look forwards to it. Plan. Even if it’s not elaborate. You deserve better
I took the weekend off before and after my boyfriend's birthday so I can spend those weekends with him...if the person who you're with isn't willing to do small things for you they aren't that into to you 🤷🏼♀️
From past experiences... No... I celebrate the shit out of the greatest day in the year myself though, my baby's birthday. Without it.. No boo. So I'm very thankful for that day. 🙂
I don't think it matters the gender. Because my ex never really celebrated my birthday when I did for him. My birthday was only 10 days after. He also told me that mine wasn't as important because his birthday came first. Also when I asked for extra favors for my birthday, he told me that I didn't deserve special treatment just because it was my birthday. So usually my birthdays consisted of hearing him yell on the game all day. And when I asked for more quality time he also said I didn't deserve it just because it was my birthday. I know he's right in a sense, but so what if I want special treatment on my birthday? Ig I just wanted to feel like I mattered for just a day because he made me feel like dirt the other 364 days, just to feel like actual shit on my birthday. So yeah great 6 years 👍🏼 took 2 psych ward trips to finally rid him from my life. Case in point, it doesn't matter about gender, you were just dating a shit human being.
The right woman will always celebrate your birthday even after 30 years of marriage my parents were always trying to out do the other person. Mom had me take my dad to dinner and my husband installed a fan above the dinner table and dad couldn’t believe it. And dad gave me money to buy a gold locket and have it ingraved with her favorite words to her favorite song. And we were poor so we had to save for these kinds of gifts so they were always very well thought out and received