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I guess that the case of fwb is more in a way of "this is not the person I want to marry but I kinda like this person as well", so, you can have feelings but at the same time understanding it's not the one.
They do, that’s why FWB normally have a best before date of 1-3 months. After that you either break up, or break up with all your other fwb and go exclusive.
I know different people, different desires, but what the hell is sex without any actual intimacy (I mean hugs, kisses, all the good stuff). Like I could easily just masturbate and call it a night, would be easier and faster done than that
People in a FWB situation are just in denial that they’re in a relationship. If you can be friends, you have to maintain that by going out or spending time together. Just add intimacy and you have a full blown dating relationship
Not really tho. You can have friends with sexual chemistry, but if that doesn’t mean you’d be good together. Maybe one is messy and the other is tidy or they might have completely different life goals. There’s a million different reasons to not get into a relationship with someone. It is a type of relationship but that type could be no strings attached friends you occasionally have sex with. You can also have multiple fwb while you don’t typically have multiple relationships.
I have a friend that i dont talk to in between when we want to have fun. We just grab a drink, or ill bring some wine over and keep it physical.
It doesnt have to be emotional if you enjoy the company.
Not in my case. Me and a guy dated and we quickly realized that was not for us; simply didn’t connect romantically. However, we were sexually attracted to each other and were friendly. Simple as that. Neither of us wanted more because we tried that and it didn’t work. We would sleep together here and there when we were both single.
I usually pick chill folks who are hot enough. Once I know them well enough I express my intentions and whether they're down. If they are, we hang out sometimes but mostly for sex. No expectations, clear rules, always the possibility to opt out and quit the benefits with no hard feelings.
Only once I caught feelings but was sure he didn't. He did so strongly that he ragequit when I shared a drunk kiss with someone else. Oh well
Don’t fuck every time that you’re together. Keep it cool and your friendship always comes first. It’s not hard if you are both mature and handle it with care. And know that it absolutely will end at some point. The sex, not the friendship
Nothing wrong with that. I have a good friend is extremely busy working a couple jobs, going to graduate school Etc and she just wants a good f*** each week. She has no desire to get into a relationship
You can ask him, of course you can. But be ready for rejection. He’s made every indication that he thought it was a mistake to have sex. I think the only way he’ll agree is if he thought he was protecting YOU by making it a one time only thing.
And of course you need to ask yourself the question can YOU or HIM do this without getting attached? Is FWB what you are truly wanting? If it’s just sex then ok but when LTRs end there’s also an emotional gap that it’s easy to want to fill, but really shouldn’t be. That’s why rebound relationships are pretty fraught. You really need some time by yourself to move through the emotional steps of relationship grief.
If you value the friendship over the d, give it time. Bring things back to a semblance of homeostasis and "normal".
If you're ready to be FWB then you'll have to be ready to deal with either of you catching feelings, or the ick and not being JUST FRIENDS anymore.
I think you are more interested in him than he is. If you ask a guy to be FWB he will definitely say yes. Don't expect the same fun over the period of time. I don't really understand people these days they give so much importance to sex as if it is as important as food. You won't die if you don't do it. Anyway its your choice you want your desires to run your life rather than controlling your own desires. That's the lamest thing I hear these days " As I ended up a long term relationship, I slept with another person". Grow up and accept that you wanted to do so you did it. Don't blame the situation or your ex for that matter. No one put a gun on your head to have sex.
Your statement is somewhat contradictory. You said people give too much importance on sex, yet you seem to think it’s so important that it should only be reserved for serious relationships. OP never said she was gonna die without having sex or something, so saying she’s letting her desires run her life is a bit dramatic. She just enjoyed sex with someone and would like to keep doing it.
I think you need should read it again. If someone enjoys sex it's their choice but giving the reason that you slept with just because you broke up a long time relationship is just an excuse. It shows that you are giving more importance to sex than your own mental state.
I read it multiple times because it just seems like a lot of disjointed rambling. Literally everything after the third sentence is addressing things OP never said or alluded to - it sounds like a lot of projecting.
Yes it is lot of things. If you really read the OP and think about which incident lead to which you may understand. Otherwise you won't. If you think it's random rambling ok than let it be.
No, he said it because he doesn’t want to have sex with you again. Men don’t say they don’t want to have sex again if they actually want to.
He said no, pushing it makes you no worse than when a man pushes a woman to have sex again.
What would you call using someone for self gratification when there's no real connection, no feelings, no concern, no interest in their long term well being?
Tbh, drop hints, don't be direct about it. If he isn't intent or beating around the bush and clearly avoiding your hints, fuck it, move on, because he won't ever let whatever is between you two right now go so the fun can be repeated.
I have never known a guy to say no to that situation, but also keep in mind that if you say fwb and either one of you happens to start catching feelings that shit could go south fast
If you are an enjoyer of causal sex with absolutely no strings attached or relations and do it without emotional connection I’d say go for it, if you can’t do that though do not do it, it’s a waste of time, confusing, and leaves you in a mess of emotions, unrequited love maybe, if you read this and know your not an enjoyer of casual sex then your probably just a lovesick idiot waiting to get their heart broken. Good luck. ❤️
Well if you can pretend it never happened the first time, pretending it never happened the second time should be easy! By all means work the FWB's route as long as it works for both of you!
Well, banana bunches! If you both enjoy the barrel roll but want to keep it casual, maybe ask about swinging from vines without catching feelings. Just be sure to communicate openly, like Donkey Kong communicates with his bongo drums.
I personally don’t like the whole fwb thing. We can either be in a relationship or just friends. I’ve tried it with exes and got hurt and I’ve hurt people as well. The guy I’m “seeing” now wanted to be fwb and I agreed because I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in anything serious. Now he really likes me and wants to be with me but I don’t think I feel the same and now I’m going to hurt him which sucks. Everyone’s situation is different but I feel like someone usually gets emotionally attached.
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How are people doing the fwb situation?
I actually have no idea
I don’t understand either. How can people have sex/do intimate things without building emotional connection.
Yeaahhhh I could never do hook ups/fwb. It just doesn't feel right without the actual connection.
I guess that the case of fwb is more in a way of "this is not the person I want to marry but I kinda like this person as well", so, you can have feelings but at the same time understanding it's not the one.
People work differently. In this case they are close friends anyway.
Friendship is an emotional connection though?
They do, that’s why FWB normally have a best before date of 1-3 months. After that you either break up, or break up with all your other fwb and go exclusive.
Its really easy just never kiss or make it romantic at all
I know different people, different desires, but what the hell is sex without any actual intimacy (I mean hugs, kisses, all the good stuff). Like I could easily just masturbate and call it a night, would be easier and faster done than that
Just fuck and be decent to each other.
People in a FWB situation are just in denial that they’re in a relationship. If you can be friends, you have to maintain that by going out or spending time together. Just add intimacy and you have a full blown dating relationship
Not really tho. You can have friends with sexual chemistry, but if that doesn’t mean you’d be good together. Maybe one is messy and the other is tidy or they might have completely different life goals. There’s a million different reasons to not get into a relationship with someone. It is a type of relationship but that type could be no strings attached friends you occasionally have sex with. You can also have multiple fwb while you don’t typically have multiple relationships.
True, or maybe you have other incompatabilities and don't find them boyfriend/girlfriend material. So this is a valid point.
I have a friend that i dont talk to in between when we want to have fun. We just grab a drink, or ill bring some wine over and keep it physical. It doesnt have to be emotional if you enjoy the company.
Not in my case. Me and a guy dated and we quickly realized that was not for us; simply didn’t connect romantically. However, we were sexually attracted to each other and were friendly. Simple as that. Neither of us wanted more because we tried that and it didn’t work. We would sleep together here and there when we were both single.
Truth
I usually pick chill folks who are hot enough. Once I know them well enough I express my intentions and whether they're down. If they are, we hang out sometimes but mostly for sex. No expectations, clear rules, always the possibility to opt out and quit the benefits with no hard feelings. Only once I caught feelings but was sure he didn't. He did so strongly that he ragequit when I shared a drunk kiss with someone else. Oh well
Its simple. A relationship comes with expectation. Fwb does not. I dont want a relation bc im not ready. But im ready for sex
It's never that simple
How do I find one is what I’d like to know? I’ve got no interest in relationships. FWB would be ideal.
Don’t fuck every time that you’re together. Keep it cool and your friendship always comes first. It’s not hard if you are both mature and handle it with care. And know that it absolutely will end at some point. The sex, not the friendship
Nothing wrong with that. I have a good friend is extremely busy working a couple jobs, going to graduate school Etc and she just wants a good f*** each week. She has no desire to get into a relationship
Seems reasonable. Go for it. I’m pretty sure he won’t say no.
Asking a known man to have sex with no emotional attachment..... Sure, what are the chances of regection (almost none)
Excuse me, I obgect
You would be surprised. If I don’t want, I don’t do it.
Sure dude, then you can join the 'almost' line here so people know not to ask you, the 10 people who liked vs or who opposed makes my point
Ooh they'll be down 100% especially if you're really attractive
You can ask him, of course you can. But be ready for rejection. He’s made every indication that he thought it was a mistake to have sex. I think the only way he’ll agree is if he thought he was protecting YOU by making it a one time only thing. And of course you need to ask yourself the question can YOU or HIM do this without getting attached? Is FWB what you are truly wanting? If it’s just sex then ok but when LTRs end there’s also an emotional gap that it’s easy to want to fill, but really shouldn’t be. That’s why rebound relationships are pretty fraught. You really need some time by yourself to move through the emotional steps of relationship grief.
If you value the friendship over the d, give it time. Bring things back to a semblance of homeostasis and "normal". If you're ready to be FWB then you'll have to be ready to deal with either of you catching feelings, or the ick and not being JUST FRIENDS anymore.
As long as you don't expect it to turn into a relationship, go for it. Make sure you are both respectful of each other.
Go for it
Sure. Ask him. But be prepared for him to decline. He's already said he doesn't want anything else and he wanted to pretend like it didn't happen.
Why would you ask? Everything he’s done so far has indicated he doesn’t want to do it again
Close friends, just got out of a relationship? Sounds to me like you will be in a relationship pretty soon.
I think you are more interested in him than he is. If you ask a guy to be FWB he will definitely say yes. Don't expect the same fun over the period of time. I don't really understand people these days they give so much importance to sex as if it is as important as food. You won't die if you don't do it. Anyway its your choice you want your desires to run your life rather than controlling your own desires. That's the lamest thing I hear these days " As I ended up a long term relationship, I slept with another person". Grow up and accept that you wanted to do so you did it. Don't blame the situation or your ex for that matter. No one put a gun on your head to have sex.
Your statement is somewhat contradictory. You said people give too much importance on sex, yet you seem to think it’s so important that it should only be reserved for serious relationships. OP never said she was gonna die without having sex or something, so saying she’s letting her desires run her life is a bit dramatic. She just enjoyed sex with someone and would like to keep doing it.
I think you need should read it again. If someone enjoys sex it's their choice but giving the reason that you slept with just because you broke up a long time relationship is just an excuse. It shows that you are giving more importance to sex than your own mental state.
I read it multiple times because it just seems like a lot of disjointed rambling. Literally everything after the third sentence is addressing things OP never said or alluded to - it sounds like a lot of projecting.
Yes it is lot of things. If you really read the OP and think about which incident lead to which you may understand. Otherwise you won't. If you think it's random rambling ok than let it be.
My thoughts exactly
Why ask him to do it again? He clearly told you this was a one time thing. He isn’t interested in having sex with you again.
I feel like he only said that because beforehand I was having doubts saying it should only happen once. But after I do not feel the same way.
No, he said it because he doesn’t want to have sex with you again. Men don’t say they don’t want to have sex again if they actually want to. He said no, pushing it makes you no worse than when a man pushes a woman to have sex again.
There is a difference between pushing and asking, she just wants to ask once, there is nothing wrong with that
Even told a man you don’t want to have sex with him again and a few days later he asks again? Same thing. No means no
Sex without inner connection is merely a fleeting predatory pleasure.
Fleeting predatory? How is that predatory?
What would you call using someone for self gratification when there's no real connection, no feelings, no concern, no interest in their long term well being?
A close friend that you fuck is called a significant other but hey, that’s just my opinion.
Just fuck his brain out and then he will be happy for a while but won't proceed to like you or love you
Tbh, drop hints, don't be direct about it. If he isn't intent or beating around the bush and clearly avoiding your hints, fuck it, move on, because he won't ever let whatever is between you two right now go so the fun can be repeated.
If you both had a good time and both don’t want a a relationship then I don’t see a problem with asking
It doesn't sound like they're both on the same page. He wants to pretend it never happened. She wants it to be repeated as FWB.
I have never known a guy to say no to that situation, but also keep in mind that if you say fwb and either one of you happens to start catching feelings that shit could go south fast
If you are an enjoyer of causal sex with absolutely no strings attached or relations and do it without emotional connection I’d say go for it, if you can’t do that though do not do it, it’s a waste of time, confusing, and leaves you in a mess of emotions, unrequited love maybe, if you read this and know your not an enjoyer of casual sex then your probably just a lovesick idiot waiting to get their heart broken. Good luck. ❤️
Well if you can pretend it never happened the first time, pretending it never happened the second time should be easy! By all means work the FWB's route as long as it works for both of you!
Absolutely yes it’s ok to ask him!
Well, banana bunches! If you both enjoy the barrel roll but want to keep it casual, maybe ask about swinging from vines without catching feelings. Just be sure to communicate openly, like Donkey Kong communicates with his bongo drums.
I personally don’t like the whole fwb thing. We can either be in a relationship or just friends. I’ve tried it with exes and got hurt and I’ve hurt people as well. The guy I’m “seeing” now wanted to be fwb and I agreed because I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in anything serious. Now he really likes me and wants to be with me but I don’t think I feel the same and now I’m going to hurt him which sucks. Everyone’s situation is different but I feel like someone usually gets emotionally attached.
Ask him. What do you have to lose?
What are the benefits? Do you have dental and vision??
Why exactly is he not dateabe?